sunnysideup69: what can I do to stabilise on venlafaxine

[sunnysideup69]

That actually sounds very peaceful and lovely @Gridley.Nice to chat and thank you for the reassurance...just gonna keep plodding on. And wait for some stability to return again, as I'm sure it will. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to think about tapering again by the end of summer.

[sunnysideup69]

Quick check in again. Definitely in a bit of wave again. Not really surprised, given world and family circumstances. Also, have to confess to eating a lot of sugary stuff last week, which probably didn't help.I know it's comforting, but it definitely doesn't help my nervous system.

 

I'm also thinking about dropping my running and switching to walking instead. What do you reckon, guys? I keep reading that strenuous exercise is probably not a good idea in recovery. Especially as I've had so much going on at the moment, I'm thinking that a good walk of 5k would be better than running. Definitely at the moment, anyway, and perhaps I can think about running again when I'm on a more stable basis. End of February until now, have had a LOT more anxiety again and so my system is a bit destabilised, probably just needs gentle treatment. 

Also, got two funerals coming up next week. That's most likely contributing to current state, also. I think after sibling deaths I had a bit of an adrenaline surge, which kept me going, and now I have slumped.

Am going through a few days of anhedonia/ apathy here, nothing inspires me, feeling flat. Encouraging words much appreciated.

xxx

 

 

[Erell]

Hello Sunny

 

If you think gentle walk could be better, then go for gentle walk ☺

 

I know symptoms can be stressfull, but considering the events you are going through, all sounds "normal".

WD or not, everybody would feel strong emotions or apathy in this situation.

I think you're doing relatively good considering circumstances.

And that you're an amazingly strong woman!

 

I send you much love dear ❤

[sunnysideup69]

Thanks so much @Erell xxx sending hugs xxx Guess I've just gotta trust that my mood will lift again. It's kind of annoying because I feel like the WD symptoms get in the way of grieving. They seem to take over the process. And also, of course, my WD brain is telling me I won't feel better again. It's quite a while since I've felt like this, and it's not pleasant.

[Junglechicken]

Hi Sunny,

 

I would do what feels right for your mind/body.

 

Your body (CNS) will tell you if running is too much for it.

 

It sounds like you would benefit more from stretching, walking and meditation.

 

Thinking of you,

 

JC xxx

[sunnysideup69]

Yes, @Junglechicken, those are much more appealing really than running. I need to be a bit more gentle, I think. My system feels really destabilised at the moment....how are you? Did you find that grieving made you wobble around a lot?

[Junglechicken]

3 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Yes, @Junglechicken, those are much more appealing really than running. I need to be a bit more gentle, I think. My system feels really destabilised at the moment....how are you? Did you find that grieving made you wobble around a lot?

 

I haven't run for a LONG time.

 

All I could do (and still do) was walk for hours, talking to Dad and crying.

 

Being gentle on yourself makes sense during this very sad time.  We are a lot more susceptible to injury and illness when grieving.

[sunnysideup69]

20 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

 

I haven't run for a LONG time.

 

All I could do (and still do) was walk for hours, talking to Dad and crying.

 

Being gentle on yourself makes sense during this very sad time.  We are a lot more susceptible to injury and illness when grieving.

 

That's true...hadn't thought of that. Taking a walk seems a lot less injurious.Also, still get an endorphin boost and I think it doesn't deplete my adrenals as much. I'm so shaky this morning, have been for a couple of weeks. Pretty sure my system is telling me to slow down.

[Junglechicken]

1 minute ago, sunnysideup69 said:

 

That's true...hadn't thought of that. Taking a walk seems a lot less injurious.Also, still get an endorphin boost and I think it doesn't deplete my adrenals as much. I'm so shaky this morning, have been for a couple of weeks. Pretty sure my system is telling me to slow down.

 

You could always alternate - some days run, some walk so you get a dose of endorphins one day, and then calm the next.

 

It IS helpful to rid yourself of nervous  energy.  Letting cortisol and adrenaline build up in our bodies isnt good either.

 

If you have low energy one day - walk, if you feel the need for speed, run.

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Listened to this podcast....https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/depression-to-expression-podcast/id1465313328

 

It's really interesting! It's a neuroscientist talking about what diets are best for 'sympathetic dominant' types and 'parasympathetic dominant' types. I think I would most likely be sympathetic dominant....never really suffered from melancholy, depression is always a result of burnout and overwork, for me. I've always been a bit of a get-up-and-go type. Early riser etc. Don't know when to call it a day, on the work front. Interesting too, @Junglechicken, because he was talking about exercise, and although I'm drawn to running, for my type I really need to be doing yoga and calming exercise.....

'You can get better' is the message ❤️ 

His course on beating stress https://thethrivecourse.com is also free whilst the pandemic is going on.

 

Interesting....if you think about his logic, then anxiety and depression are caused by a nervous system out of balance ie either overly sympathetic or overly parasympathetic. I know we already know that drugs don't cure anything, they just mask the problem. What we need to do is focus upon working towards balance again.

Kind of explains my crash this week...ate loads of sugar last week and that is a stimulant for the sympathetic branch....which I really don't need. Anyway, might post this in self care section.

 

 

 

[Longroadhome]

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Quick check in again. Definitely in a bit of wave again. Not really surprised, given world and family circumstances. Also, have to confess to eating a lot of sugary stuff last week, which probably didn't help.I know it's comforting, but it definitely doesn't help my nervous system.

 

I'm also thinking about dropping my running and switching to walking instead. What do you reckon, guys? I keep reading that strenuous exercise is probably not a good idea in recovery. Especially as I've had so much going on at the moment, I'm thinking that a good walk of 5k would be better than running. Definitely at the moment, anyway, and perhaps I can think about running again when I'm on a more stable basis. End of February until now, have had a LOT more anxiety again and so my system is a bit destabilised, probably just needs gentle treatment. 

Also, got two funerals coming up next week. That's most likely contributing to current state, also. I think after sibling deaths I had a bit of an adrenaline surge, which kept me going, and now I have slumped.

Am going through a few days of anhedonia/ apathy here, nothing inspires me, feeling flat. Encouraging words much appreciated.

xxx

 

 

Hi Sunny 

im also keep fit person. Not a runner though so I do lots of fast pace walking . It’s so good to get out in the fresh air without too strenuous a work out especially good if ur sensitised due to stress etc as running could exasperate symptoms at the moment whereas a good gentle work out will be calming . Go for it !!

 

try and cut back on sugary food because there’s no doubt it does ramp

Up the symptoms. it is comforting to eat naughty food and if your body craves carbs and sugar as it can do in WD then go for healthier options such as fruit or veg sticks with a dip such as humous. 
and maybe an odd small treat here and there of a couple of squares of dark choc if you like it. Just a thought. 
 

and remember lots of times for no sound reason symptoms ramp up so it could just be a wave and not what you are going through emotionally . 
 

take one day one hour and one step at a time. 
 

Everybody has varying symptoms every day we go through WD with some worse than others . But remember today might not be good but tomorrow could be much better. Even an hour from reading this your symptoms could ease. That’s how WD is. 
 

every day in every way out body starts to adapt and heal . We feel this through the symptoms hard to bear at times but making changes for the better in the near future . 
 

hold tight Sunny stay strong and stay focused on the beautiful sunshiny day that’s just a short distance away when your future will be WD free. That’s a promise !! 

any support you need I’m here 

 

LRH 
 

[sunnysideup69]

Hey @Longroadhome, thanks so much for that, cheered me right up!

How are you doing these days? And are you at work every day at the moment??

[Longroadhome]

1 hour ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Hey @Longroadhome, thanks so much for that, cheered me right up!

How are you doing these days? And are you at work every day at the moment??

Hey 

Im doing ok thank you . Because of its short half life you can’t be symptom free while tapering from Paxil so I’ve had symptoms that differ in severity every step of the way So far. Being in tolerance (poop out) has compounded the issue too. I’ve held for a year on the same dose of Paxil but stabilising hasn’t happened . This could be because I had a mad moment last August and came off both meds for a couple of days. I was put on Pregabalin to ease WD  from Paxil. Regretted this from the off and fast tapered half of it during this period too. 
anyway I’m doing brass monkey slide 4 weeks taper 2.5% each week then 2 weeks hold. I’ve hit a bit of a wave after last taper that hopefully will settle at some point. Also had a BIG change of circumstances at home. 
 

im working every day. Did retire last year but not one to stay at home and so with everything going on at the moment  I’m back in helping with Children of key workers. 
 

do you teach primary or secondary ? 
my son is a teacher in private primary school and my daughter in law is a teacher and works for me at the nursery. 
 

it must be hard coping with WD and being on yr own  with isolation in force . 
 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Wow, you've had a fair few challenges, then.....ugh! Poopout, what a pain that is. Really wish for you that your symptoms abate as you taper....as your own nervous system takes over again. These bloomin drugs.

Hope the change of circumstances at home was a happy one, you don't need home stress on top of everything else.

I get that about needing to keep active, I think this lockdown is teaching me that I will never fully retire or else I might go mad! Honestly, I do like my own company, but WD and forced isolation is a bit of a killer. It's been made worse by grieving...this is exactly when I would be wanting to reach out and be with family...but I can't. Been whatsapp calling people a lot just to see some faces.

I'm a primary teacher. I work part time, 3 days a week and spend the rest of my time recovering from psych drugs and exercising and mucking around in the garden. I like getting out in the fresh air, definitely helps with mood regulation.

[Cocopuffz17]

Do what your body will let you. Someday's I cannot bring myself to do much exercise and others days I crush it. Chalk them all up as victories with going through this. You are doing great and your circumstances are much more than just WDs at this time. You are strong  

[sunnysideup69]

Thanks @Cocopuffz17, that's good advice. 

 

Well, the waviness continues. Yesterday was wavey, symptoms came and went. Not really the usual pattern of feeling worse in the morning and better as the day goes on...less predictable than that. Feeling apathetic and can't get motivated to do the things I need to do, so.....really, just not doing a lot. Some intrusive thoughts about pointlessness/ meaninglessness.I can feel my nervous system 'vibrating', a bit like when you stretch an elastic band and then let go, it wobbles for a while.

Tried to watch Phantom of the Opera last night as it was streaming live ...and free!......but bizarrely, just couldn't watch it. It was too emotionally taxing, even the singing started to grate on my system...how funny! So, I turned it off and watched something soothing on youtube instead.

 

Mostly just feeling low mood and anxious. 

 

Going to distract today with a bit of housework, some online yoga and a call to parents and friends. Just getting through the days, really. Maybe a bit of a walk later on. Trying to keep a routine with meditation and restorative yoga first thing in the morning, then shower, then get on. There are plenty of things around the flat that NEED doing, but I just can't get myself to do them cos of low mood at the moment. Baby steps.

 

Edited to say....been looking back through my journal from last year after switching meds, until now. There has definitely been some progress although it has been slow. January, I was definitely turning a corner, February wasn't too bad although wobbled after news about brother. March  and now April have been more inconsistent, but have been coping with family stress. I'm 8 months into holding on the Venlafaxine, which feels like a long hold, but I have to remind myself it's after a cold switch. I'm not doing too badly, all things considered. Don't exactly feel ecstatic about things but yes, have had some moments of laughing along the way, so can't be in too bad a shape.

When I'm in a wave, I can't see the progress I have made and my brain tells me there has been none and that I'm making it up. Why do brains do this? Or rather, minds?

Oh, and I definitely notice a difference in my mood and ability to cope with life when I'm not practising meditation every day.

 

Anyway, this is a bit of a morning ramble, to occupy myself. If anyone's reading this, let me know how you are doing xxx

[sunnysideup69]

Also, I feel as if some days, the Venlafaxine is doing its job really well, but some days the underlying destabilisation is prominent and takes more of a hold.

 

I don't buy into being 'mentally ill' any more, though. What I do believe is that my nervous system wiring was a bit fragile from my early life onwards, not particularly wired to cope well with stress. As a young adult, the ways I chose to cope with stress destabilised it further. Wash, rinse, repeat.

 

At the age of fifty, last year, I finally started to seek healthier ways in which to stabilise myself. Hoping that it's not too late and taking courage from lots of people here who've had decades on prescribed drugs (I've had decades on drugs too, sometimes prescribed, sometimes self-medicating)...and are recovering/ have recovered. I greatly admire you all.

 

[Hanna72]

@sunnysideup69

 

I don't buy into being 'mentally ill' any more, though. What I do believe is that my nervous system wiring was a bit fragile from my early life onwards, not particularly wired to cope well with stress. 

 

Could not agree with you more.

Instead of teaching us coping skills with what life throws at us, we were given pills. 
Keep up the good work, and enjoy your day🙏

[sunnysideup69]

4 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

@sunnysideup69

 

I don't buy into being 'mentally ill' any more, though. What I do believe is that my nervous system wiring was a bit fragile from my early life onwards, not particularly wired to cope well with stress. 

 

Could not agree with you more.

Instead of teaching us coping skills with what life throws at us, we were given pills. 
Keep up the good work, and enjoy your day🙏

Thanks Hanna   We will learn those skills, and defeat those pills. Sending good wishes, have a good day x

[mstimc]

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I don't buy into being 'mentally ill' any more, though. What I do believe is that my nervous system wiring was a bit fragile from my early life onwards, not particularly wired to cope well with stress. As a young adult, the ways I chose to cope with stress destabilised it further. Wash, rinse, repeat.

 

At the age of fifty, last year, I finally started to seek healthier ways in which to stabilise myself. Hoping that it's not too late and taking courage from lots of people here who've had decades on prescribed drugs (I've had decades on drugs too, sometimes prescribed, sometimes self-medicating)...and are recovering/ have recovered. I greatly admire you all.

 

 

Sunnyside, this is spot on.  Looking back, I can see my anxious and OCD responses to certain stressors (I'm 59 now).  Sometimes it was worse and sometimes better but because it was episodic I didn't seek therapy.  When it became constant at age 39, my GP put me on Paxil but didn't suggest therapy or any coping strategies.   It wasn't until it got really bad in my mid-40's that I decided to leave the drugs behind and see a therapist.  It took me three years but I did recover.  The good news is you can recover and get your life back regardless of age!

[Cocopuffz17]

40 minutes ago, mstimc said:

 

Sunnyside, this is spot on.  Looking back, I can see my anxious and OCD responses to certain stressors (I'm 59 now).  Sometimes it was worse and sometimes better but because it was episodic I didn't seek therapy.  When it became constant at age 39, my GP put me on Paxil but didn't suggest therapy or any coping strategies.   It wasn't until it got really bad in my mid-40's that I decided to leave the drugs behind and see a therapist.  It took me three years but I did recover.  The good news is you can recover and get your life back regardless of age!

Absolutely! You can take back control of your life at any age! I was told I needed this medication for life and that I had a chemical imbalance. Odd now that I changed my nutrition intake and came off the drug that none of the original anxiety has came back(all of my health conditions are reversing that doctors did not know what caused them, odd that I out performed modern medical doctors by literally doing that opposite that they said(removing the medication I was told I needed for life and changing my nutrition))..... odd... not so much. A majority of the serotonin is produced in the body is created in the gut microbiome by the food we eat, not in the brain.  Changing nutrition is the only reason I was able to get off of this medication after numerous attempts that did not succeed before.

You got this SUNNY! Step by step.... this is a 100 mile race and we walk a foot each day..... but that foot each day is in the right direction! 

 

Everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed

[sunnysideup69]

1 hour ago, mstimc said:

 

Sunnyside, this is spot on.  Looking back, I can see my anxious and OCD responses to certain stressors (I'm 59 now).  Sometimes it was worse and sometimes better but because it was episodic I didn't seek therapy.  When it became constant at age 39, my GP put me on Paxil but didn't suggest therapy or any coping strategies.   It wasn't until it got really bad in my mid-40's that I decided to leave the drugs behind and see a therapist.  It took me three years but I did recover.  The good news is you can recover and get your life back regardless of age!

 

That is SO encouraging, @mstimc. I had therapy between 2007 and 2017 on and off, was on antideps for a lot of that time. Gone back into therapy now and will definitely use therapy during and after antideps. They are not a long term solution, they often poop out, and they have kind of lulled me into thinking I was 'coping' with anxiety when actually, I wasn't...it was just blunted by drugs. It's so good to hear from people who made it through, thank you x

[sunnysideup69]

Thanks @Cocopuffz17, it's good to realise we are not 'mental health patients' and that there is such a lot we can do for ourselves.....

[mstimc]

19 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

21 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

 

That is SO encouraging, @mstimc. I had therapy between 2007 and 2017 on and off, was on antideps for a lot of that time. Gone back into therapy now and will definitely use therapy during and after antideps. They are not a long term solution, they often poop out, and they have kind of lulled me into thinking I was 'coping' with anxiety when actually, I wasn't...it was just blunted by drugs. It's so good to hear from people who made it through, thank you x

 

I'm glad it helped, Sunny.  Among the downsides of modern medicine and mental health is the disconnect between medical and psychiatric approaches.   It was up to me to make the connection between my perceived need for SSRI's and my real need for behavioral modification.  I was also blessed to find a psychologist who knew withdrawal is real and who was familiar with AD side effects.  he really helped me through WD and gave me the tools I needed to deal with my anxiety and OCD for life.

[Longroadhome]

 

@Cocopuffz17

i am also tapering off Paxil. Can you please give me information about the diet you are on to help with WD.thank you 

LRH 

[Longroadhome]

@mstimc. Do you think you were in poop out before you started tapering Paxil. I say this as you mentioned high anxiety while still taking Paxil and this being the reason you decided to taper .

i am In the same unfortunate position at present. 
it’s been good reading what you Sunny and Coco have to say about ADs as I was never given an option of meds or therapy . I have had episodes of anxiety and depression for many years on and off and A prescription for ADs always written out within 5 mins of sitting in the Doctors room.  however I do blame myself somewhat too as it was an easy option and back then anxiety and depression were scary to me (nothing like what I’m going through now though!). 
how do you go about finding a good therapist?

 

 

[mstimc]

43 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

@mstimc. Do you think you were in poop out before you started tapering Paxil. I say this as you mentioned high anxiety while still taking Paxil and this being the reason you decided to taper .

i am In the same unfortunate position at present. 
it’s been good reading what you Sunny and Coco have to say about ADs as I was never given an option of meds or therapy . I have had episodes of anxiety and depression for many years on and off and A prescription for ADs always written out within 5 mins of sitting in the Doctors room.  however I do blame myself somewhat too as it was an easy option and back then anxiety and depression were scary to me (nothing like what I’m going through now though!). 
how do you go about finding a good therapist?

 

 

Hi Long Road

 

Looking back, I don't think Paxil did all that much for me, other than generally dulling all my emotions and making me gain weight.  I never changed dosage so I'm sure I hit tolerance without realizing it.  That's probably what drove me to seek a therapist.  Don't blame yourself--that's what doctors do.  They listen to a patient's problems and prescribe an AD m just like they prescribe an antibiotic or a painkiller. 

 

When my father died in 2006, I had to order his removal from life support and was overcome with guilt.  The first therapist I saw was referred by my insurance company and really wasn't equipped to deal with WD and guilt.  I ended up asking my Episcopal (Anglican) priest if he knew of a psychologist who could counsel me on the guilt/morality issues.  He referred me to a great therapist who did that and who was familiar with WD.  He started me on CBT and EMDR and it truly helped me erase my guilt and manage my anxiety and OCD.  My advice would be to be very specific about the type of therapist you need and what you expect  You should be able to pick a therapist like you choose any other professional--based on your needs. 

[Longroadhome]

1 hour ago, mstimc said:

Hi Long Road

 

Looking back, I don't think Paxil did all that much for me, other than generally dulling all my emotions and making me gain weight.  I never changed dosage so I'm sure I hit tolerance without realizing it.  That's probably what drove me to seek a therapist.  Don't blame yourself--that's what doctors do.  They listen to a patient's problems and prescribe an AD m just like they prescribe an antibiotic or a painkiller. 

 

When my father died in 2006, I had to order his removal from life support and was overcome with guilt.  The first therapist I saw was referred by my insurance company and really wasn't equipped to deal with WD and guilt.  I ended up asking my Episcopal (Anglican) priest if he knew of a psychologist who could counsel me on the guilt/morality issues.  He referred me to a great therapist who did that and who was familiar with WD.  He started me on CBT and EMDR and it truly helped me erase my guilt and manage my anxiety and OCD.  My advice would be to be very specific about the type of therapist you need and what you expect  You should be able to pick a therapist like you choose any other professional--based on your needs. 

Thank  you mstimc 😊

 

[sunnysideup69]

13 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

@mstimc. Do you think you were in poop out before you started tapering Paxil. I say this as you mentioned high anxiety while still taking Paxil and this being the reason you decided to taper .

i am In the same unfortunate position at present. 
it’s been good reading what you Sunny and Coco have to say about ADs as I was never given an option of meds or therapy . I have had episodes of anxiety and depression for many years on and off and A prescription for ADs always written out within 5 mins of sitting in the Doctors room.  however I do blame myself somewhat too as it was an easy option and back then anxiety and depression were scary to me (nothing like what I’m going through now though!). 
how do you go about finding a good therapist?

 

 

 

Don't blame yourself, LRH. Meds here are handed out like sweeties and GP understanding of mental health and wellness is woeful. It was a lack of knowledge about what helps with self regulation that pushed me towards drugs also....we're not taught these things at school and often not in our families, so chancing upon them comes by luck, a lot of the time.

The absolute best way to find a therapist is word of mouth. Failing that, there's something called Counselling Directory in the UK. If you enter your postcode then you'll get a list of local therapists. (I'm a psychotherapist myself, but not practising whilst I go through this WD adventure- not until I'm a bit more stable.) I have personal preferences...I don't personally want to work with someone who has trained in one branch of therapy only. I would personally go for someone 'integrative' because that means their training will have covered two or three different styles of therapy. I've just started having therapy again after a three year break and I chose someone who could work with bereavement (if you go on the directory I mentioned, it will say next to each therapist their fields of competence). I also explained to the person that I need help with self regulation as I'm in antidepressant WD. Be aware- a lot of therapists really don't get this, as with GPs. Mostly because they've also been subject to the chemical imbalance myth. They need to be on board with your understanding of what's happening, even if they don't quite get it. My therapist was great and immediately came back with grounding exercises/ breathing techniques. The most important thing for those of us in WD is gentle 'holding' (emotional) and stabilising, so please beware anyone who wants to immediately start digging for unresolved trauma etc. That can be really destabilising, hopefully nobody would do that BUT.......And the most imporatnt thing is that you feel you have a good working alliance with the therapist. xxx

[sunnysideup69]

Thought I'd check in again whilst I'm going through stress, more than anything it helps me to put this somewhere with people who understand and who don't immediately think/suggest I'm 'relapsing.' AAArgh!

Woke up yesterday feeling so depressed and low. Ugh. Also, really dreading the vast expanse of time spreading before me with 'nothing to do/ nothing to look forward to.' Yes, I think we all know that WD mood.....

Did an online Hatha Yoga class, although I really didn't feel like it, and then spent about 1.5 hours on the phone with two different friends. 

From mid afternoon, began to feel a bit more settled. 

Have woken this morning feeling exhausted, really old and tired. Maybe a tiny bit calmer, though. Have made a list of creative things I *could* do during lockdown and am adding to it as I think of more things. Definitely need more Whatsapp chats with people, it's good to see people's faces. Helps with self regulation. No man is an island!

[mstimc]

Hi Sunny

 

I think we're in the same boat.  I often experience an anxiety rush when I wake up, and with the same thoughts "Now what".  The highlight of our day is an afternoon walk along the coast, so I mentally divide the day into "pre-walk" and "post-walk".  I do house stuff before the walk.  After the walk, we make dinner and I try to do relaxing things; I do a Great Courses class and watch some mindless Youtube videos to lighten my mood.   I, too, try to stay in touch with friends via Facebook and email; its a bit more difficult for us since we're from the US West coast and Portugal is eight hours ahead, so there's only a few hours per day we can communicate in real time, but we make the best of it.  Later today, for the first time, we're going to use Zoom to participate in Mass at our old Episcopal church in California--it should be fun seeing our friends again.  I try to have some structure in my day but also accept its ok to sit back, have a cup of coffee and watch the ocean from our window.  

[Longroadhome]

1 hour ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Thought I'd check in again whilst I'm going through stress, more than anything it helps me to put this somewhere with people who understand and who don't immediately think/suggest I'm 'relapsing.' AAArgh!

Woke up yesterday feeling so depressed and low. Ugh. Also, really dreading the vast expanse of time spreading before me with 'nothing to do/ nothing to look forward to.' Yes, I think we all know that WD mood.....

Did an online Hatha Yoga class, although I really didn't feel like it, and then spent about 1.5 hours on the phone with two different friends. 

From mid afternoon, began to feel a bit more settled. 

Have woken this morning feeling exhausted, really old and tired. Maybe a tiny bit calmer, though. Have made a list of creative things I *could* do during lockdown and am adding to it as I think of more things. Definitely need more Whatsapp chats with people, it's good to see people's faces. Helps with self regulation. No man is an island!

“No man is an island 🌴” except Richard Branson... who has done himself no favours during the Pandemic! 
 

thank you for suggesting the counselling site . Really interesting I have had a look and no one deals with AD withdrawal. Counselling in this area is so needed and yet as you say because it is not recognised no training has been done around it hence no specialised  counselling . Absolutely shocking. I'll continue looking on the site because I have noticed some therapists deal with addiction so maybe this would be an alternative. Never thought of myself as an addict. How naive was I. I remember sitting in the surgery with my Dr many years ago and I can hear her voice telling me “try this new AD they are none addictive unlike tranquillisers” she was referring to the new wonder drug namely ”Paxil”. my nemesis. The rest is history ..
 

sunny It really is ok to have down days and share your thoughts with people who care and understand. WD leads us into dark clouds from clear blue skies  very quickly which can be very upsetting. How can a positive thought be followed swiftly by a negative one. Easy during WD.
You are so thoughtful and kind to many on this site and it’s good to give back so please continue to share how you are feeling so that we may help you too. 

[sunnysideup69]

@Longroadhome, thank you xxx

And yes, you're right....in our psychotherapy training, there is no coverage of antidepressant WD symptoms. Because, as you say, it's barely even recognised as an issue, even in the medical community. 

When I've finally recovered enough to do some therapy work, I'm going to be that specialist...but that's not going to be any time soon. It's difficult to find anyone who gets it unless they have been through it.However, you CAN find someone willing to learn about it (my therapist really good in this respect). You have to kind of sound therapists out when you give them an initial call, be blunt, tell them you're going through WD and what experience do they have with it? Even if someone has no experience, they can still provide good holding.

An ability to work with CBT is also a good thing to find as they will work with cognition and thought patterns, which is helpful.

xxxxx

[Longroadhome]

31 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

@Longroadhome, thank you xxx

And yes, you're right....in our psychotherapy training, there is no coverage of antidepressant WD symptoms. Because, as you say, it's barely even recognised as an issue, even in the medical community. 

When I've finally recovered enough to do some therapy work, I'm going to be that specialist...but that's not going to be any time soon. It's difficult to find anyone who gets it unless they have been through it.However, you CAN find someone willing to learn about it (my therapist really good in this respect). You have to kind of sound therapists out when you give them an initial call, be blunt, tell them you're going through WD and what experience do they have with it? Even if someone has no experience, they can still provide good holding.

An ability to work with CBT is also a good thing to find as they will work with cognition and thought patterns, which is helpful.

xxxxx

Thank you for the feedback Sunny 

What qualification did you do to become a psychotherapist and how long did it take? 
i would  find it so rewarding helping people through AD WD after going through it myself. 
even if you hadn’t told me you were a therapist I would have known.  

how..?

Firstly your  site name . Looking on the positive rather than the negative ....?although having said this it could just be how you prefer your egg .. 😉!!! 

also you’re  hesitant to talk about how you’re  feeling preferring to keep it positive

lastly your always encouraging and supportive to others on this site. 
 

right thank you for your advice I’m going back to the counselling site  ! 

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

@Longroadhome, thank you, very kind words. Took me four years, part time, to train as a therapist. There are shorter trainings, but I found one I really liked. 

[Longroadhome]

@brassmonkey

 

Hi Brass

Hope you are keeping well and busy during these bad times . Well as busy as you can be in lockdown. 

i wanted to ask you a question . Im

doing the BM taper at 10% every six weeks with a hold in there . I’ve had symptoms right the way through a fast taper and a year holding . Never been without . 
anyway I commenced my 10% taper in February this year and on my second drop a few days after the hold period I have experienced severe anxiety . It’s been 10 days now and still going strong . I’ve just started my taper again . Question:  should I have held for a while . I can still do this as I started yesterday ? or is this something that’s going to happen along the way as I have read replies you have wrote to others saying that you had intense anxiety waves during tapering that would sometimes last a few weeks then subside over a few days. 
 

also Alto mentioned a bridge with Fluoxetine if I am finding tapering difficult with Paxil. What are your thoughts on this remembering I was also

in poop out with Paxil at the start of all this ? And I know sometimes this makes it very difficult to swap with another SSRI 
 

I value your opinion and look forward to your response. 
take care stay safe 

LRH