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sunnysideup69: what can I do to stabilise on venlafaxine


sunnysideup69

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23 minutes ago, Sonia001 said:

Hello Sunnyside

I've been reading your thread, hope you don't mind. You were kind enough to visit mine once as we both share weird dreams. I too have been withdrawing from Citalopram for around 11 months and still getting withdrawal symptoms, heightened by a recent course of antibioitics. It has also made my anxiety worse and I'm getting horrible racing thoughts.

I'm so sorry you have been through so much with your family loss. It can't be easy coping with that and withdrawal. I lost my brother 8 years ago to bowel cancer, he was a young man and it hit us really hard. We never expected him to leave us 3 years after my dad.

My thoughts are with you and I pray we all make a recovery from this nightmare soon.

Take care.

 

Thanks so much Sonia. Don't mind you reading my thread at all, it's turning into a book, really. Thanks for your kindness. How are you doing? I'm still having crazy dreams that wake me up around the 4am mark. REM dump seems to happen for me around that time, I think.

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Hello Sunnyside

I too am having crazy dreams still, whether I wake up 3am, 4am or later, I am aware of waking up out of a weird dream, sometimes they are disturbing and I think about them after. Can't seem to shame them off sometimes. My antibiotics have definitely aggravated my anxiety and all the symptoms that come with it. I had an upset stomach for several days a week ago, thought it might have been the antibiotics, not sure. Headaches is my most recent symptom, muzzy, head pressure feeling. Weather has been humid though so that could be playing a part.

Your posts have been encouraging, you have been doing so good in between these blips which is a good sign and I'm sure you will feel good again. Seems we have to ride out the bad moments and believe better ones will come.

Take care, hope to chat again.

2008 10 mg Citalopram, 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide

2021 reduced Citalopram over three years,2023 5.2 mg Citalopram for approx. 1 year

Sept 2023 taken off Citalopram and bendroflumethiazide , put on Amitriptyline 10 mg and Ramipril 2.5 mg 

October 2023 taken off Amitriptyline and Ramipril put on Propranolol 10 mg

October 2023 put on Losartan 25 mg 

November 2023 taken off Losartan on Propranolol 10 mg 

December 2023 now on 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide + Citalopram 0.5 mg.

February 2024, taken off bendroflumethiazide, on bisoprolol 1.25 mg

February 2024, taken off bisoprolol, on ramipril 1.25 mg + 0.5mg Citalopram, stopped ramipril.

 

 

 

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@sunnysideup69 Hey Sunny....not much to say really apart from I hope you’re feeling better than you were and very heartening to see how much support you have on here. It’s good to reach out when feeling blue and it’s so important we all keep supporting each other...WD is very tough and Covid world also very tough so we’re doing great all things considered.

 

lots of love and hugs from Bristol x

Malbec37 Introduction:  Diagnosis of Recurrent Depressive Disorder 2005

Sertraline 2003 - 2004 then switched to Citalopram 2004 - 2014 20mg then up to 40mg then switched to Mirtazapine 30mg 2014 - 2020

Began taper off Mirtazapine Aug 2019 - 2 months at 22.5mg, 3 months at 15mg, 10 days at 11.25mg then updosed to 13mg after constant WD...40 days on 13 and then updose to 15 as of 13/2/20...holding for now and stabilised.

Resumed taper from 15mg in July 2021 - 14mg in July 21, 13mg in August 21, 12mg in Sept 21 and 11 mg in Nov 21, made it down to 9mg in Mar 22 but crashed and reinstated to 15mg Apr 22

Currently holding on 15mg 

 

 

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Sorry you are experiencing this, sounds like you are getting stable though, which is awesome!

April 2010 - January 2018: Zoloft 50-100 mgs (would go back and forth between these doses, mostly at 50mgs).

April - May 2018: Attempted to restart Zoloft for 6 weeks, made things worse so switched to...

June 2018 - Novemeber 2019: Lexapro 10mgs

August 2018 - Current: Zyprexa added for early morning extreme anxiety

November 2018 - February 2019: Lexapro 5mgs, then off since doctor said it “wasn’t working if still having anxiety.” Looking back I was probably stabilizing very slowly.

New Doctor reinstated:

May 1st, 2019 - Current - Zoloft 50mgs, 2.5mg Zyprexa 

 

 

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Thanks @Malbec37 and @thelegend, feeling a bit better. Was just going through a bit of the blues on Tuesday, still a bit flat,  but nothing unbearable. Feeling like I'm due a nice long window soon.

Battling with fatigue though....some days it's an effort to do anything.

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Just stopping by to say hello @sunnysideup69! Rest is good and I feel your window opening! Hugs!

2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT without issues
Feb 2 - July 24, 2019 - restarted Lexapro 5 mg for insomnia

July 25 - Nov 19, 2019 - Lexapro 10 mg, resulted in increased anxiety and depression
Nov 20 - Dec 11, 2019 - 3-week FT from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 - Feb 4, 2020 - drug-free and feeling good until horrible WD hit
Feb 5 - Feb 16, 2020 - Paxil 10 mg, adverse reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - reinstated Lexapro 5 mg

Nov 22 - Dec 12, 2020 - transition from pill to homemade liquid

Dec 13, 2020 - 4.7 mg; Jan 3, 2021 - 4.5 mg; Jan 24 - 4.3 mg; Feb 14 - 4.2 mg; March 7 - 4.1 mg

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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  • Mentor
On 8/6/2020 at 6:29 PM, sunnysideup69 said:

Feeling like I'm due a nice long window soon.

It is for sure coming your way, I can see a pattern with this rollercoaster already. My deep waves usually come before a bright sunny window🤗

You are strong and you got this🙏
Hugs to you dear sunny ☀️ 

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg

 


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

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26 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

It is for sure coming your way, I can see a pattern with this rollercoaster already. My deep waves usually come before a bright sunny window🤗

You are strong and you got this🙏
Hugs to you dear sunny ☀️ 

Thanks @Hanna72 😊 a lovely cheery message xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Update for week beginning August 2nd 2020

 

An odd week. Been feeling a bit down and isolated. Started around 31st July, went catsitting in Streatham, so was away from home for a few days.

Catsitting itself was lovely and much easier than at Christmas.

 

Conscious of a lot of sadness bubbling away underneath the surface, loss and grief. Had some weird neuroemotions  last weekend, also, for a few days. Got super upset about being single, not having kids. I mean, sometimes I do wonder what that would have been like and am sad that it didn't happen for me, but the emotions got blown out of all proportion last weekend. Had some random crying spikes, then again after therapy on Tuesday. Since then, been ok, kind of wobbling around WD normal which means functional but a bit 'meh.' Usual symptoms, nothing new.

 

Some of this is WD eg the intense neuroemotions, but I think some is also situational. I've been isolating a bit, also because I want to go home again and see my parents in a couple of weekends time. Paranoid about mixing with people, picking up virus, taking it home.

 

Generally I'm just feeling a bit understimulated and disinterested, interspersed with periods of feeling okay and just getting on with things.

 

Got some meetings with friends planned for the week, starting with a tea with a friend today, who is also finding the current climate difficult. Need to gently rehabilitate myself back into the world as I'll be back at work in September. 

 

So, times are not terrible, mostly WD normal. I'm hoping that some meetings with friends will tip me into a window again.

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Hi Sunnysideup,up

I think covid19 is getting to us all one way or another, personally I am aware I have had more time to think and overthink my situation and choices made etc. I know it seems there is no way out but I look around and see people getting on with their lives and am encouraged that once I stabilize, I will do so too. As long as we take the necessary precautions there is nothing else we can do. The alternative is to vegitate. I get stressed by it all, dealing with covide19 threat and withdrawal is difficult enough without having to go through the grief you have been through so it's no wonder you get low moments. (Still getting the weirdest of dreams and other withdrawal symptoms). I hope you will find a window soon, as you have done before, it's only a matter of time I'm sure before you post another encouraging message. I hope your friends visit helped in the week.

 

2008 10 mg Citalopram, 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide

2021 reduced Citalopram over three years,2023 5.2 mg Citalopram for approx. 1 year

Sept 2023 taken off Citalopram and bendroflumethiazide , put on Amitriptyline 10 mg and Ramipril 2.5 mg 

October 2023 taken off Amitriptyline and Ramipril put on Propranolol 10 mg

October 2023 put on Losartan 25 mg 

November 2023 taken off Losartan on Propranolol 10 mg 

December 2023 now on 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide + Citalopram 0.5 mg.

February 2024, taken off bendroflumethiazide, on bisoprolol 1.25 mg

February 2024, taken off bisoprolol, on ramipril 1.25 mg + 0.5mg Citalopram, stopped ramipril.

 

 

 

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Hey !

19 hours ago, Sonia001 said:

Hi Sunnysideup,up

I think covid19 is getting to us all one way or another, personally I am aware I have had more time to think and overthink my situation and choices made etc. I know it seems there is no way out but I look around and see people getting on with their lives and am encouraged that once I stabilize, I will do so too. As long as we take the necessary precautions there is nothing else we can do. The alternative is to vegitate. I get stressed by it all, dealing with covide19 threat and withdrawal is difficult enough without having to go through the grief you have been through so it's no wonder you get low moments. (Still getting the weirdest of dreams and other withdrawal symptoms). I hope you will find a window soon, as you have done before, it's only a matter of time I'm sure before you post another encouraging message. I hope your friends visit helped in the week.

 

 

Thanks so much....been feeling a little better this week. I do think a lot of how I'm feeling is circumstantial, for sure. By the way, you CAN get liquid Citalopram in the UK, my friend took it.

Wishing you a loooooong window xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Thanks Sunnysideup

Will contact my GP tomorrow. Hope you are feeling better.

2008 10 mg Citalopram, 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide

2021 reduced Citalopram over three years,2023 5.2 mg Citalopram for approx. 1 year

Sept 2023 taken off Citalopram and bendroflumethiazide , put on Amitriptyline 10 mg and Ramipril 2.5 mg 

October 2023 taken off Amitriptyline and Ramipril put on Propranolol 10 mg

October 2023 put on Losartan 25 mg 

November 2023 taken off Losartan on Propranolol 10 mg 

December 2023 now on 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide + Citalopram 0.5 mg.

February 2024, taken off bendroflumethiazide, on bisoprolol 1.25 mg

February 2024, taken off bisoprolol, on ramipril 1.25 mg + 0.5mg Citalopram, stopped ramipril.

 

 

 

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On 5/28/2020 at 8:58 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

 

Thanks @Gridley :) That's good news, will reassess how I am at the end of August. 

Thanks @Longroadhome, I think I'm kind of at this point. I'm not really getting any new symptoms at this point, just the same old and, as you say, differing intensity. E.g. this week for me is slightly less buoyant than last week. But as a 'wave', it is pretty mild. Mostly, I'm being hit with fatigue and anhedonia. Don't seem to be too anxious these days. Also grief, which is another thing.

 

One thing I'm gonna have to do is switch from Venlafaxine to Effexor, at some point. I want to be able to do bead reduction and Venlafaxine doesn't seem to come in 'bead' format.

@sunnysideup69 

Hi was just wondering if you know of a good scale I can buy ! Mine seems to be giving me problems ! I hope you are doing well God bless you my friend 

1997 regular Effexor  150 mg2016-2017 up dosage to 225 tried several times to taper no luck fast taper Back on  panic attacks anxiety Insomnia 2017 doing ok after a year but then insomia doctor put me onTrazodone 

was on Trazodone for 6 months or longer 

did a fast taper getting panic attacks 
2018 Doctor switched me to Effexor XR an 

reduced my dose to 225 - down to 150 felt worse went back on regular Effexor  Venlafaxine

2018 taper again, To fast tapered down to 112.5 from 150 take half twice a day 56.25 

 

 

 

 

 

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On 7/24/2020 at 4:26 PM, sunnysideup69 said:

@Dejavu, thanks for your lovely message, am feeling a bit better as the day goes on, which is kind of typical of waves for me. Started the day with weird agitation and despondency. Oh what to do with these misfiring brains of ours. We just gotta be patient.

Think I was stressing a bit about coming home/ train journey/ Covid. That flippin' virus has a lot to answer for, as have the Brit government. I empathise with your situation in the US, you have Trump and we have Bojo the 🤡 clown.

I've been reading your updates...following your wave progress. I've no doubt that the current world situation and that of the US has contributed to it....even if we don't think anything is directly stressing us, we are supersensitive with our compromised nervous systems. Gah! Thanks, psychiatry.

Hey suñny, keep on keeping on girl!  I'm diagnosed bloody bipolar now.  Venlafaxine exacerbates mania. At least they take my meds complaints more seriously now.  Lithium anyone? Double gah! X

MissyE

2008 Dec-Feb 2009 GP diazipam; Dec-Jun 2009 fluoxetine. 2010 Jan citalopram approx 4 weeks, Jan- Aug fluox, Oct-Jun 2011 paroxetine; Aug - Dec venlafaxine 37.5mg - 75mg. 2012 Mar-Jul reinstate ven 150mg; Aug swap to fluox 40mg (preg) - Mar 2013  reinstate ven 150mg. 2015 Nov swap to fluox 40mg (preg) Dec suicidal reinstated ven 300mg

2018 Jan ven "pooped" buspirone added/stopped; pentagablin added; March pent stopped & ven taper - 0 June; August betablockers started/ stopped; September mirtazapine 15mg and diazepam 2mg started/stopped; October ven 300mg reinstated. 

2019 Jan psychiatrist added mirt 15mg (aiming for "California rocket fuel" therapeutic dose).  No more meds: gradual taper mirt Feb-April (taken for < 3 weeks).

Commenced ven taper 5-10% 6-10 weekly 2019 April - Nov: 225mg.  Tapering 8 weekly in alignment with menstrual cycle 2020 Jan 212.5mg; Mar 200mg; Jun 187.5mg hold

Oct all meds stopped sectioned under mental health act psychosis olanzapine 20mg PRN lorazepam

Dec 600mg lithium 15mg olanzapine

1-2g omega 3 & 400ug folic acid

2 puffs pulmicort inhaler.

This too shall pass.

 

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Morning all, quickly dropping in on my thread to say, my baseline has improved. Since feeling really miserable for that week at the beginning of August. Had that dip, have now improved. Even doing a bit of daydreaming about the future....

 

Just enjoying my last two weeks of school holiday before going back. 

 

So am topping up with as many positive offline experiences as possible before September 1st. Family, friends, expanding my world a tiny bit. Went out for Sunday lunch yesterday, sat alone in the pub garden, reading a book and just enjoying life. Would not have been able to do that a year ago. 

Gradually adding in day to day activity, coming out of lockdown as carefully as possible.

Healing's a funny thing...takes its own sweet time.

 

 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

@sunnysideup69

I just loved reading this post.

2 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Even doing a bit of daydreaming about the future....

Goals my give us focus, but dreams give us power. 
Enjoy your well deserved window.

Hugs dear sunny💖

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg

 


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Really glad to read your post, and to read that you're actually enjoying simple things  :)

Sounds like stabilisation is your path now ❤

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Mentor

Great news, Sunny!  Keep it positive!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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  • Moderator
6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Morning all, quickly dropping in on my thread to say, my baseline has improved. Since feeling really miserable for that week at the beginning of August. Had that dip, have now improved. Even doing a bit of daydreaming about the future....

 

Just enjoying my last two weeks of school holiday before going back. 

 

So am topping up with as many positive offline experiences as possible before September 1st. Family, friends, expanding my world a tiny bit. Went out for Sunday lunch yesterday, sat alone in the pub garden, reading a book and just enjoying life. Would not have been able to do that a year ago. 

Gradually adding in day to day activity, coming out of lockdown as carefully as possible.

Healing's a funny thing...takes its own sweet time.

 

 

I’m so glad to hear you are feeling better and being able to get out again.

 

Funny thing about healing is like you said it takes it’s own sweet time, but it is a wonderful thing.

 

I hope school goes well for you 😊

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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@Hanna72 @mstimc @Erell @Frogie

Hello and thank you 😊

 

Forgot to note that it was a year on August 14th since I did my final inadvisable thing......believed a psych and switched to Venlafaxine.

Note for anyone reading and tempted to do a cold switch...... don't. 

Stabilisation is happening really slowly. Am keeping an eye on the waves, curious to see what will happen when I go back to work in September, at the moment they are mild/ sometimes moderate.

What has actually helped is time and allowing my system to settle.

Fingers crossed, I'll be ready to start a taper in the new year. 🤞

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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@sunnysideup69 I think you’ll definitely find you’re ready within the next year. It can be as slow or as fast as you want too, that’s the one beautiful thing about all do this. We have some of our power back, finally! 

All of* this. 

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78

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1 hour ago, Adili13 said:

@sunnysideup69 I think you’ll definitely find you’re ready within the next year. It can be as slow or as fast as you want too, that’s the one beautiful thing about all do this. We have some of our power back, finally! 

All of* this. 

Exactly, we do. I'm going to go at snail's pace. I think your decision is also a good one, you've given lots of time.

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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@sunnysideup69 I still have all the faith in the world in stabilizing, I’ve just lost faith in my dosing method. I’m willing to hold for another year or whatever it takes to get functional, I don’t care at this point. I just want to eliminate all confounding variables. Yes! It’s so much better to go slowly, especially with people like us on drugs with shorter half lives. Sometimes I get so angry from switching off lexapro years ago. It is what it is though! They’re all brutal to get off of anyway. Either way, we will heal and flourish. You’ll do great at your job and find your own pace of tapering and I will get back to having a functional life. 

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78

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  • Moderator

@sunnysideup69

 

I think you are doing wonderful holding so you can stabilize.

 

I'm sure you should be ready come the new year to start a well thought out taper.

 

I hope you are doing well.

 

 

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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You continue to inspire me with your patience and resilience @sunnysideup69! Thank you!

2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT without issues
Feb 2 - July 24, 2019 - restarted Lexapro 5 mg for insomnia

July 25 - Nov 19, 2019 - Lexapro 10 mg, resulted in increased anxiety and depression
Nov 20 - Dec 11, 2019 - 3-week FT from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 - Feb 4, 2020 - drug-free and feeling good until horrible WD hit
Feb 5 - Feb 16, 2020 - Paxil 10 mg, adverse reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - reinstated Lexapro 5 mg

Nov 22 - Dec 12, 2020 - transition from pill to homemade liquid

Dec 13, 2020 - 4.7 mg; Jan 3, 2021 - 4.5 mg; Jan 24 - 4.3 mg; Feb 14 - 4.2 mg; March 7 - 4.1 mg

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Hey @Sottana @Cigale @Frogie

 

Thank you all so much XXX

Been squeezing the best out of life. Got a week and a half before I return to work, hence trying to be out in the world and not much online until I go back on 1st September, but am thinking of you all.

 

At parents at the moment, has been a good week in fact. Last Sunday, took myself out for lunch, solo, which is much more like non WD me. Really enjoyed sitting outside in sunshine. Tuesday, caught up with a friend in St James's park. Since Friday, been at parents. A few social things planned for next week.

 

Symptoms at a minimum over the last week, except for a weirdly sluggish digestive system.

I notice also that a slight trigger for me is staying somewhere else for a few nights, I guess because I don't have my go to comforts around me....plus there aren't too many distractions at my parents. But am okay 😊

 

Am having 'liminal space' dreams....they are a recurring theme when things are about to change. Dreaming about packing to move house, and discarding things I don't need any more. I love those dreams, I think they portend a psychological clearing out/ clearing up.

 

Awoke from a horrible dream two nights ago that I had cancer. Then realised it was a year ago that my bro was first diagnosed with a brain tumour....

 

Going back to work is on my mind a bit, but I'm feeling ok about it. Going to spend lots of time in nature next week. Overall, I'm detecting a shift towards wellness.

 

Reading Dr. Kelly Brogan and thinking about doing her dietary protocol before tapering (but NOT the coffee enemas, they sound gross plus, no detoxing for me.) It's basically paleo. 

 

Having a quick check to see how you all doing xxx

 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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What a great update @sunnysideup69! You are rocking the house my friend. Love this! Thank you for sharing the goodness in your life. 🤗 

2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT without issues
Feb 2 - July 24, 2019 - restarted Lexapro 5 mg for insomnia

July 25 - Nov 19, 2019 - Lexapro 10 mg, resulted in increased anxiety and depression
Nov 20 - Dec 11, 2019 - 3-week FT from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 - Feb 4, 2020 - drug-free and feeling good until horrible WD hit
Feb 5 - Feb 16, 2020 - Paxil 10 mg, adverse reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - reinstated Lexapro 5 mg

Nov 22 - Dec 12, 2020 - transition from pill to homemade liquid

Dec 13, 2020 - 4.7 mg; Jan 3, 2021 - 4.5 mg; Jan 24 - 4.3 mg; Feb 14 - 4.2 mg; March 7 - 4.1 mg

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Been visiting parents since Friday, was nice, but have had small wave happening since yesterday. Feeling a bit agitated and restless.

Hard to cope with that when away from home.

Also, my digestion is really sluggish.

So. Not totally sure what's provoked this, likely it's just a wave. A bit annoying.

I get a bit bored, they are both in 80s and lovely but they don't wish to do much, understandably. Normally, non WD me would cope with that just fine but I've noticed WD and / or Venlafaxine sometimes elicits this weird sense of boredness, can't be bothered, lack of imagination. 

Anyway, hopefully this blip goes away again soon. Shame it appeared during my visit but I survived it.

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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14 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I get a bit bored, they are both in 80s and lovely but they don't wish to do much, understandably. Normally, non WD me would cope with that just fine but I've noticed WD and / or Venlafaxine sometimes elicits this weird sense of boredness, can't be bothered, lack of imagination. 

Anyway, hopefully this blip goes away again soon. Shame it appeared during my visit but I survived it.

 

Makes total sense to get a bit bored with you and two parents in their 80's Sunny!

 

Good to get home now to where you feel secure and have other people you can see...I'm sure your parents loved to see you and are so grateful to have you in their lives....

 

I hope the min wave goes away soon, keep eating well and walking and doing good things 

 

M x 

Malbec37 Introduction:  Diagnosis of Recurrent Depressive Disorder 2005

Sertraline 2003 - 2004 then switched to Citalopram 2004 - 2014 20mg then up to 40mg then switched to Mirtazapine 30mg 2014 - 2020

Began taper off Mirtazapine Aug 2019 - 2 months at 22.5mg, 3 months at 15mg, 10 days at 11.25mg then updosed to 13mg after constant WD...40 days on 13 and then updose to 15 as of 13/2/20...holding for now and stabilised.

Resumed taper from 15mg in July 2021 - 14mg in July 21, 13mg in August 21, 12mg in Sept 21 and 11 mg in Nov 21, made it down to 9mg in Mar 22 but crashed and reinstated to 15mg Apr 22

Currently holding on 15mg 

 

 

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Thanks @Malbec37, yeah, my patience has run out a bit after 72hours there 😂

 

Guess that's understandable, indeed. Also, sensitive nervous system adds to that.

 

Will be glad to get back to my own flat and just chill out.

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Hmmm...my body clock is all out of synch. 

Had constipation over the weekend...which I  never get. Actually could not go to the loo. Resolved as soon as I got back to the flat in London, oddly enough, so seems like there was some emotional component to it...maybe wasn't feeling really relaxed.

So, my stomach feels bloated and off. Now it's 2:47am, woke an hour ago, ping! Wide awake.....so here I am. Am also drinking tea. Oh dear. Internet and tea are not gonna help with sleep, are they?

Gonna just relax in bed. Think this is a bit of a wave. Was feeling a bit irritable and emotional yesterday. We spoke a bit about my siblings, at home....mum and dad aren't really openly emotional, but there's lots of stuff bubbling away underneath, and I tend to pick up on it.

Was good to see them. Even though at times my patience felt a bit thin. 

I think, when you've been through the 'medical model' wringer, it's sometimes hard not to pathologise every shift in emotion. Although WD makes them feel more pronounced.

 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Finally got back to sleep after a HUGE crying session. Felt good to cry, like I'm releasing something. Hopefully, constipation will sort itself out...wasn't consciously aware of tension about going back to parents' home, but I guess there was some. Also, I'm sensitive to any atmosphere or undercurrents of emotion from others and when I'm a bit destabilised myself, it ungrounds me.

 

Leaving this here to read later, found in a discussion between GiaK and Alto.

 

 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Hello @sunnysideup69 - I hope you are feeling better today. A good cry is very therapeutic. Sending you the biggest 🤗 !

2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT without issues
Feb 2 - July 24, 2019 - restarted Lexapro 5 mg for insomnia

July 25 - Nov 19, 2019 - Lexapro 10 mg, resulted in increased anxiety and depression
Nov 20 - Dec 11, 2019 - 3-week FT from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 - Feb 4, 2020 - drug-free and feeling good until horrible WD hit
Feb 5 - Feb 16, 2020 - Paxil 10 mg, adverse reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - reinstated Lexapro 5 mg

Nov 22 - Dec 12, 2020 - transition from pill to homemade liquid

Dec 13, 2020 - 4.7 mg; Jan 3, 2021 - 4.5 mg; Jan 24 - 4.3 mg; Feb 14 - 4.2 mg; March 7 - 4.1 mg

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Thanks @Cigale, feeling a bit shaky this morning. Still emotional and a bit symptomatic, but nothing new. Sore stomach is trying to sort itself out. 

 

Noting that I ate more gluten than is usual last week....possibly why my guts are glued up. Glue-ten. Also, ate a huge bowl of ice cream on Saturday. Bit of a dietary recipe for disaster, mood wise. Am still eyeing Kelly Brogan dietary protocol.

 

Bit shaky and weird this morning. Glad I've got therapy today, but my dilemma is this...I will tell her that I was upset yesterday and it will become 'about' my trip home. But....what if the feelings are actually not triggered by some deep psychological thing going by on, but by gluten sensitivity? Then, a whole 'psychological story' has been made out of something which is essentially physiological.

 

One thing is for sure; I need to keep better boundaries around my diet when I go home. Way too easy to fall off the wagon and then pay the price. My parents' diet consists of A LOT of bread...don't think it's any coincidence that my dad gets a bit confused, as I know gluten can cause brain fog, and my mum has terrible inflammation in the form of osteoarthritis. Gluten causes inflammation, so all that bread won't be helping them, neither will the cereal. I've actually started taking some food there, and I cook for them sometimes. But, they are die hard gluten and sugar fans. And as they are in their eighties and have eaten that way all their lives, then it's not really going to change now...I guess I just feel a bit awkward turning up with my own nut butter snacks etc. They are of the age where , if you try to explain that gluten causes x, y, z, they have pretty much got closed ears.

 

 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Hi Sunnysideup,

You're very likely still going through the grieving process and you've sensed that too with your parents. Not easy coping with that and withdrawal. I still grieve over my brother after seven years and on a bad withdrawal day when I am alone with my thoughts, I get very weepy thinking about him. I hope you feel better soon.🙏

2008 10 mg Citalopram, 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide

2021 reduced Citalopram over three years,2023 5.2 mg Citalopram for approx. 1 year

Sept 2023 taken off Citalopram and bendroflumethiazide , put on Amitriptyline 10 mg and Ramipril 2.5 mg 

October 2023 taken off Amitriptyline and Ramipril put on Propranolol 10 mg

October 2023 put on Losartan 25 mg 

November 2023 taken off Losartan on Propranolol 10 mg 

December 2023 now on 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide + Citalopram 0.5 mg.

February 2024, taken off bendroflumethiazide, on bisoprolol 1.25 mg

February 2024, taken off bisoprolol, on ramipril 1.25 mg + 0.5mg Citalopram, stopped ramipril.

 

 

 

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On 8/25/2020 at 8:47 AM, Sonia001 said:

Hi Sunnysideup,

You're very likely still going through the grieving process and you've sensed that too with your parents. Not easy coping with that and withdrawal. I still grieve over my brother after seven years and on a bad withdrawal day when I am alone with my thoughts, I get very weepy thinking about him. I hope you feel better soon.🙏

I agree, totally. It comes back and knocks me out. Have been very emotional this week but it's actually a relief to cry, initially I think the drugs were numbing me.

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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