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sunnysideup69: what can I do to stabilise on venlafaxine

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sunnysideup69

@Guilietta, gonna drop by your thread xxx

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sunnysideup69

Notes for Friday 25th October 2019 

Supplement plan; none for a week.Not sure what I'm reacting to. Will still take Epsom salts bath every other day this week, see how that goes, then reintroduce 1 capsule fish oil, see how that goes. Then, maybe a very little bit of magnesium, 0.25 tablet.

Didn't introduce things gradually before so I need to be a bit more logical.

 

430 am awake, get up, make tea, humming in ears, anxiety 3/4

630 eat breakfast, temp dysregulation, not hungry

640 second trip to bathroom, bowel still overactive , edit to say, this was it for today, less than yesterday, so calming down

650 stomach pains; today, no magnesium supplement

7am Venlafaxine 75mg XR

730am warm bath, no epsom, stomach bloated and painful,  tearful/anxious 3/4, ruminating about /fear of 'the future'

830am anxiety beginning to subside 3

930am feeling tearful but stomach feel better

1030 temperature dysregulation, but anxiety is subsiding 2

1030 out for a gentle 5k jog, will see how much I can do

1130 back home, I jogged 3k but my lower colon was really hurting, so I stopped and walked the rest, pain made me feel miserable

1230pm feeling better, anxiety gone, 0, 

**All morning, lower gut pain and 'prefrontal cortex area' headache

1330 ate lunch, felt relaxed

1400 brief stomach pain after eating BUT still no anxiety

1600 went food shopping, dull headache still but good to be out and about, still feling like I have a lurking cold but suspect this to be WD

I notice that the dyspepsia and bloating feel a lot better in the afternoon

1800 ate supper

2200 went to bed anxiety free since 1230pm, some fatigue 3

 

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sunnysideup69

@Gridley, it's me again, asking for some reassurance. Trying to reassure myself, but at the moment, it's much easier to believe when it comes from someone else, so please forgive me.

 

This week, or since Monday, I feel as if I've been in a bit of a wave as some symptoms have been worse. Specifically, seem to have had a bit of an uptick in the intensity of the anxiety, it feels more panic-like and physical this week, with some palpitations, as well as the usual psychological. Of course, then I over react and tell myself I'm getting worse. I think this is likely to be a bit of a wave, right? And part of Citalopram WD? Am also feeling more withdrawn this week, don't really want to go out and about although am stretching myself a little. Late afternoons and evenings are still better though. On the other hand, my sleep has actually improved over the week. I'm getting a much more solid sleep.

I think I've asked you the same question a few times, apologies, I'm pretty sure that's the anxiety....but also my brain can't quite compute.....

Trying to ride it out and just go about my days, and meditate and do legs up the wall. 

 

Also, forcing myself to watch this again. 

 

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Gridley
4 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I think this is likely to be a bit of a wave, right? And part of Citalopram WD? Am also feeling more withdrawn this week, don't really want to go out and about although am stretching myself a little.

Sunnysideup,

 

This is very typical, common and normal for someone in withdrawal.  You have nothing to worry about.  There are going to be ups and downs throughout this process.  You're not getting worse.  When the downs last quite a while, it's a wave, and we all have them.  It's unpleasant but completely to be expected.  We all go through the symptoms you describe.  Feeling withdrawn is a natural part of withdrawal too--I certainly have it.  You are healing every day, though it doesn't feel like it.

 

It's great the the later part of the day is better and that your sleep is good.  That's a very encouraging sign that you're doing better--definitely not worse.  It's just AD withdrawal.

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sunnysideup69

@Gridley, god, I don't know where you get the patience...thank you. It's the afternoon and I'm going into busy Swiss Cottage for a haircut. Am nervous, but it will at least make me look better.

 

I am going to ban myself from asking questions in the morning, because they are always driven by Morning Ruth. Morning Ruth and Afternoon Ruth are quite different.

 

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Erell

Hi Sunny!

I wanna thank you for your support!

 

An haircut , Nice! So glad your afternoon is easier 😙

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sunnysideup69

Notes for Saturday 26th October No magnesium or fish oil or epsom today

 

Good sleep, didn't wake til around 4am, then back to sleep

520 wake up, get up, irritable 3

6am anxiety around 4, dyspepsia, shaky, stuffy nose, low humming in head

630 breakfast, no appetite, lower colon discomfort, stomach distended

7am feeling sick, knot in stomach, take Venlafaxine 75mg XR, anxiety 3

9am warm bath, no epsom, anxiety spike 4, feeling tearful

Ever since awakening, negative fortune telling, ruminating, fear of future BUT less stomach pain today

10am take myself out to shops to break the cycle of negative thinking, come back and do household chores, anxiety begins to dissipate

1230pm anxiety now 0

1245 lunch stomach pain 2 as it is digested, much less

1500 leave for haircut, some anxiety about going out and appearing 'normal' haha 2 but that goes as soon as I get to salon, 

1730 arrive home anxiety has been 0 since half three and continues at 0 all evening

1800 supper

2000 fall asleep watching tv

2100 wake...can't go to bed as clocks will go back, will be too early

2300 go to bed

pretty much anxiety free/anxiety low this afternoon and eve

 

 

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Erell

Great afternoon/ evening! This is great! :)

what about this haircut ? Do you like it ? 😚

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sunnysideup69
6 minutes ago, Erell said:

Great afternoon/ evening! This is great! :)

what about this haircut ? Do you like it ? 😚

Yes, hopefully, things calming down. Well, I know they are.

Yes, I really like the haircut, has made me feel refreshed! :D

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sunnysideup69

One day in the future, when I am able to start tapering......it's gonna take me a minimum of 28 months, just worked out 10 percent tapering schedule, cutting every 4 weeks, and I'm likely not even gonna go as fast as that. Will probably need some pauses, too.

 

Best get comfortable, this is the long haul...........

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Erell

One day in the future...all of this Will be a distant memory :)

I don't make calculations on the calendar,  I know it Will take me years To taper...But it is ok because, overall the MOST important is To Feel Well, better :)

 

wish you a Nice day :)

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sunnysideup69

Very wise @Erell xx

 

Notes for Sunday 27th October

 

I think my stomach issues are becoming less after stopping the magnesium overload. Still giving supplements a break, will reintro slowly

 

Woke in the early hours very briefly then back into dream

520 awake, check time, good sleep!

6am low level anxiety and dyspepsia 3, some dizziness 2

7am take Venlafaxine 75mg XR with breakfast

730am warm bath, no epsom salts, dizziness gone, anxiety mild 1

10am begin 'strength'workout

1030am during workout, sudden spike in nausea, palpitations about 3, slowly dissipates (too sudden a reintro to my workouts, need to ease back in)

11am out to buy lunch, anxiety goes 0

1230am ate lunch, was a bit glutinous

1310 wave of tiredness after lunch 3 but no more nausea

1510 brief heart pounding, no known trigger

1700 wave of sadness listening to music, out of the blu, had a cry which is nice as I've felt tearless, felt better

1800 supper

2100 random sadness again but it passes, I go to bed

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Erell

Hi dear you !

Good morning from a very rainy and Grey Brittany 😙

How are you doing ? Feeling better in your stomach ?

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sunnysideup69

Hello survivors, I'm feeling good this morning and yesterday, so...will take advantage and try to be outside/away from computer a bit more :)

 

Notes for Monday 28th October 2019

 

**NO SUPPLEMENTS.WILL START AGAIN IN NOVEMBER SYSTEMATICALLY**

 

3am awake, use bathroom, back to sleep

5am wake up sadness/anxiety 3 BUT good sleep

6am Dyspepsia 2, mostly lower colon discomfort BUT no pain

645 breakfast

7am Venlafaxine 75mg XR **trying to stick to same brand for next refill**

745 hot bath, no epsom salts

8am bath was too hot, made me feel wobbly in arms

8am 20mins meditation/10mins legs up wall yoga anxiety 0 now

10am walk around the block to the shop, feeling HAPPINESS

1130am old friend from Uni arrives, haven't seen for 30 years, we eat lunch and spend the next 3 hours chatting and laughing

230pm Friend leaves and I feel HAPPY but a bit tired

Spend a nice afternoon just pottering around

1730 supper feeling peaceful and content

2200 bed

 

Wow, what a lovely day! These are the days that give me hope. This is what is waiting for me, as well as happening now.

 

 

 

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Erell
22 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

10am walk around the block to the shop, feeling HAPPINESS

 

 

Wow, what a lovely day! These are the days that give me hope. This is what is waiting for me, as well as happening now.

 

What a lovely day indeed ! This is HUGE dear Sunny 😍 

See,  last week was just a bad wave, and now you can Feel happiness 😉

Thank you for sharing this,  you give me hope 🤗

 

Have a great day !

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sunnysideup69
10 minutes ago, Erell said:

 

What a lovely day indeed ! This is HUGE dear Sunny 😍 

See,  last week was just a bad wave, and now you can Feel happiness 😉

Thank you for sharing this,  you give me hope 🤗

 

Have a great day !

 

You're welcome, my lovely. I even feel like gently jogging again this morning, through the park. Have a wonderful day xxx

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sunnysideup69

Notes for Tuesday 29th October Anxiety/Depression 0 all day :)

 

Woke early but back to sleep

510 Awake, up, feeling rested

630 breakfast

700 Venlafaxine 75mgXR

950 5k jog, really enjoyed it, then went shopping

1245 ate lunch and relaxed

1500 big wave of tiredness, just want to sleep but I resist 

1800 supper

2000 warm bath and relaxed

2100 tired, went to bed

 

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Erell

What a day !!!! You must Feel like you've turned a corner ☺

 

Enjoy it dear Sunny ❤

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sunnysideup69
1 minute ago, Erell said:

What a day !!!! You must Feel like you've turned a corner ☺

 

Enjoy it dear Sunny ❤

Thank you, yes, am really squeezing the most out of the good days, so that I have some good memories for the bad days. xxxxxx went back to work after half term, today, and it was okay. I feel much calmer since cutting out the magnesium for a week.

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Guilietta
On 10/29/2019 at 3:48 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

Hello survivors, I'm feeling good this morning and yesterday, so...will take advantage and try to be outside/away from computer a bit more :)

 

Hello Sunny

 

What thrilling news (I mean thrilling) for your good days - no anxiety or depression - jogging, shopping, walking...feeling happy. Returning to work. This not only makes us happy for you - but also gives us hope that we'll enjoy more happy moments and days ahead. All of these - harbingers of long term recovery. :)

 

Hugs 🤗

Guilietta

 

@sunnysideup69 and @Erell

 

Do more of what makes you happy 🌹

 

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Guilietta
On 10/26/2019 at 5:07 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

Also, forcing myself to watch this again. 

 

The book by Doidge is excellent.  don't remember what it says about ADs.

Nice that you have had a nice window since the day you posted this video -

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sunnysideup69

Gonna post notes for Wednesday, Thursday and tonight all in one go. Mstly good, some work drama wobbled me a bit, but am handling it a lot better than anticipated. Hello to all, will check in properly this weekend when free xxx

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sunnysideup69

Wednesday 30th October Notes

Awake early, go to loo, back to sleep

5am alarm goes off, up

530 minor anxiety 1

545 breakfast

630 meditation

650 leave for work

720 arrive at destination tube feeling really dizzy and realise I forgot to take Venlafaxine, have to go back

745 arrive home, dizziness 4, take Venlafaxine 75mg XR and leave for work again

830 arrive at work dizziness 0

1200 lunch

1400 arrive home

1445 lunch part 2

1730 supper

Peaceful and happy

2200 bed

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Erell

"Peaceful and happy " 🤗😍

 

Have a Nice week-end dear Sunny !

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sunnysideup69

Thursday 31st October

Really good day, despite what happened at work, will elaborate at the end

 

4am awake

5am get up

530 bath, no epsom

600 breakfast dizziness 1

620 meditation

700 Venlafaxine 75mg XR, then leave for work

745 arrive at work dizziness gone

1200 lunch

1400 home

2200 bed

No anxiety today, it catches up with me over next couple of nights.... 

Had a routine meeting with boss at work today about returning back to full days next week, part time, which I'm now able to do. 

Boss has been great, school have been so supportive and will continue to be so. I'm well looked after. 

We went through a few things, and also I'm going to occupational health, which is good as we can create a wellness plan for work. 

However, the boss suddenly says that there's one more thing and it's a bit sensitive. He warns me to be a bit careful about what I post on Facebook, as a colleague came to him and said that, whilst I was off sick, I had posted an update about being out. So basically, there's a little snitch at work 😠

He was clear that he had no problem at all with me going out whilst off, he even said he understood that occupational health would have recommended walking/running whilst ill. However, someone who is staff and on my Facebook list had seen it and made a judgement. 

 

He wasn't telling me what to post, but the whole conversation had a tone of him warning me about certain people at work. 

 

Funny thing is, I can pretty much guess who it is. There is one member of staff who absolutely gushed over me when I returned to work, she has never bothered with me before. I hadn't confided in her about my mental health, as I don't like her. However, the day before I returned half time, I had included her in the conversations as I have a plan for dealing with a panic attack at work /she is the phase leader and needs to know about it. The next day, she ran into my room and was alluding to having read my time line and having thought I was off work after an operation.. she seemed a bit panicky, but was so gushy and supportive I kind of registered something was off. Over compensation, we call it in psychology. My hunch is that she assumed I was off after an operation, then saw my post about jogging and ran off to tell the boss. What a 😠🤬😠🤬

 

 

 

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sunnysideup69

Friday 1st November

Really disrupted sleep. Began processing what someone had done at work. I am SO angry with the little turd. 

 

Forgot to take notes today, but aside from a bit of dizziness pre Venlafaxine, I had a good day at work. Reminding myself that 99 per cent of people are really supportive. At 230pm, I travelled over to Hackney, am catsitting for the weekend.

Dreadful sleep tonight, too, as the flat upstairs have music playing and I'm still upset about that little turd at work. I need to change the channel, but once home from work, am ruminating. 

1 hour ago, Erell said:

"Peaceful and happy " 🤗😍

 

Have a Nice week-end dear Sunny !

Thank you dear Erell, gonna catch up with your thread now..... 

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Erell

Just learned a new English Word : turd  ! 😄😄😄

 

You already know that but really ignore this person. Her life must be really sad To spend her energy in conflict and trying To hurt others. 

You have the support of your boss, this is the most important. 

 

You are more valuable than this ❤

After a phase of acute WD you are getting more and more good days : that is really the only thing that matter :)

 

😙

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sunnysideup69
31 minutes ago, Erell said:

Just learned a new English Word : turd  ! 😄😄😄

 

You already know that but really ignore this person. Her life must be really sad To spend her energy in conflict and trying To hurt others. 

You have the support of your boss, this is the most important. 

 

You are more valuable than this ❤

After a phase of acute WD you are getting more and more good days : that is really the only thing that matter :)

 

😙

 

You are right, and I am grateful! I'm going to put my energy into recovery, not into little turds 😂😂😂

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sunnysideup69
On 10/30/2019 at 11:21 PM, Guilietta said:

 

Hello Sunny

 

What thrilling news (I mean thrilling) for your good days - no anxiety or depression - jogging, shopping, walking...feeling happy. Returning to work. This not only makes us happy for you - but also gives us hope that we'll enjoy more happy moments and days ahead. All of these - harbingers of long term recovery. :)

 

Hugs 🤗

Guilietta

 

@sunnysideup69 and @Erell

 

Do more of what makes you happy 🌹

 

Thank you @Guilietta@Guilietta am glad it gives you hope, too. Have had a good run this week, in spite of a blip at work. Long term recovery is a reality, it's waiting for all of us, I have no doubt. How are you doing with the beads? 

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sunnysideup69

I'm getting better. Since last Sunday, have had 7 good days, minor symptoms. Even though some little turd tried to 'throw me under the bus' at work. I coped, I chatted with the boss, I was calm. 

I'm tired today and am sure my nervous system is, too, but I think the things I'm doing to help myself are beginning to pay off. 

Also, was able to have a good cry this morning, a genuine one, which was actually really a relief. 

I'm feeling encouraged. 

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Guilietta

Hello Sunny,

 

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Long term recovery is a reality, it's waiting for all of us, I have no doubt.

 

It is indeed. And those words are powerful. After a good week - it is reinforcement that we will heal.

 

Beads are going OK, thanks for asking! This weekend I will create another week's worth of capsules. I have to pick up a new vial of 20 mg capsules because current capsules expire this month.

 

5 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

some little turd tried to 'throw me under the bus' at work. I coped, I chatted with the boss, I was calm.

 

Good for you for handling  the situation with aplomb and professionally.  It sounds like all's well that ends well. Turd's  💩 problem is not your problem. And as @Erell aptly said - time and energy spent on said turd is wasted - when it is better put  toward positive things that support your recovery move us forward. :) Nonetheless - one blip can hit us hard particuilarly is we are sensitive by nature.  

 

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

was able to have a good cry this morning, a genuine one, which was actually really a relief. 

 

Glad you found some relief. My morning was kind of like this too. 😳

 

@Erell the beauty of using colorful language in English is that you can use these words and no one knows what you mean.... 🤣

 

Have a lovely rest of day - and I get another hour sleep tonight thanks to the archaic daylight savings time program (this is the only good thing about it - but it's good only for one night out of 365!)

 

Hugs,

Giulietta

 

 


 

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sunnysideup69

Notes for Saturday 2nd November 

2am really peed off about little turd at work, can't sleep, also noisy party upstairs. Get up drink tea. 

330 back to sleep with kitty cat

530 up, exhausted, ruminating about work, angry and sad but no WD 

645 breakfast

700 75mg Venlafaxine XR and then do some 'tapping' (emotional freedom technique) and journalling. Feeling really tense in body. Suddenly burst into tears after tapping, have a really good cry for 20 mins. Feel much better after. 

1230 lunch

230 emotionally a bit exhausted now, minor palpitation s, go back to bed and rest all afternoon. Listen to relaxation meditations and podcasts. Drift in and out of

snoozing with Coconut the cat. No WD symptoms apart from those slight palpitations. 

1900 get up briefly, go to shop, back to bed 

2200 go to sleep

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Erell
1 minute ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Notes for Saturday 2nd November 

2am really peed off about little turd at work, can't sleep, also noisy party upstairs. 

 I can totally relate  😄 Noisy party...downstairs for me !

 

3 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

 No WD symptoms apart from those slight palpitations. 

 

This is great 😙

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sunnysideup69
4 minutes ago, Erell said:

 I can totally relate  😄 Noisy party...downstairs for me !

 

 

This is great 😙

Thank you xxx 

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sunnysideup69

Well, been feeling sh*tty all day. Work stress has created a little wave I think, so am going to treat myself very gently over the next couple of days.

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Erell

Yes, treat yourself very gently, do some relaxation.

You have already improved so much,you will be fine :)

 

Take good care 😚

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