Jump to content
Barbarannamated

Anticipating and hearing negative voice (husband)

Recommended Posts

Barbarannamated

Hope it's ok to post here.

 

Husband did 6 week taper off of Effexor and in withdrawal. He also has had moderate hearing loss for several years, only got tested and aids in last year. Doesn't wear aid at home. Communication is only when absolutely necessary because it's become more challenging than worth for me.

Yesterday we exchanged a few sentences (neutral - don't recall subject). A few minutes later, he said that I said 'no no no' in response to something he said. I didn't say anything like that or that may have sounded like that. I didn't even THINK it. It seems that he anticipated a negative response from me and actually 'heard' me say it. There is no history of psychosis or hearing voices in him or family although this phenomenon explains alot of things in past.

 

I am removing myself from situation today as things are extremely tense with both of us in withdrawal. He will not discuss. If I try to open up discussion, he replies 'i don't know' or raises his voice in anger.

I once responded 'you sure don't know alot'. He probably responded 'I don't know.'

 

Just wondering if anyone is familiar with this type of 'voice'.

Share this post


Link to post
Altostrata

Barb, I moved your topic to this forum, seems that this has to do with your relationship to your husband.

 

Could it be he thought you said something and was reacting to that? I mean in a normal mistake kind of way.

 

If he has sleep deprivation, he may be getting a little woozy.

 

Or maybe he talks to himself when he's alone and didn't realize you were there?

 

Not wearing his hearing aid -- that's eccentric.

Share this post


Link to post
Barbarannamated

Alto,

Thanks for putting this in proper place.

 

He heard 'no no no' when I said nothing sounding or 'feeling' like that (my response was not negative in any way). He said this just a few minutes after so it was the first time it was fresh in my mind. Sleep deprivation could certainly be a factor. He's become a recluse over the years so internal dialogue may be quite vibrant. (Not that one has to be a recluse to have rich internal dialogue).

It was certainly strange but we've carried on parallel conversations before with him hearing and responding to something completely different than what I said. A few times I let it go on just to see where it would go. Bad, I know.

I really need a webcam :o

 

'Eccentric' is far too kind.

 

Thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Skyler

People with dementia confabulate when the make up parts of stories they have forgotten, and they are completely unaware they are doing this. I would think the same could be true for people who have significant hearing loss. He is just filling in the blanks (this is not to say he is not responsible). Problem is, he puts a negative spin on the response he expects. Input from the real world was able to correct for this when he could hear, but now his doubts and low self esteem are eroding away at him?

 

I did a cursory search with confabulation and hearing loss as key words, and only came up with articles about music being heard by the deaf, but you might find more. Barbara, sorry this is happening to you.

Share this post


Link to post
meistersinger

Alto,

Thanks for putting this in proper place.

 

He heard 'no no no' when I said nothing sounding or 'feeling' like that (my response was not negative in any way). He said this just a few minutes after so it was the first time it was fresh in my mind. Sleep deprivation could certainly be a factor. He's become a recluse over the years so internal dialogue may be quite vibrant. (Not that one has to be a recluse to have rich internal dialogue).

It was certainly strange but we've carried on parallel conversations before with him hearing and responding to something completely different than what I said. A few times I let it go on just to see where it would go. Bad, I know.

I really need a webcam :o

 

'Eccentric' is far too kind.

 

Thanks.

 

Barb,

 

This is how I started my descent into antispychotics. I was always hearing voices telling me to get a real job, how usess i was, and why don't I kill myself, since I would not be missed. Last time I heard those voices were about 7 years ago.

Share this post


Link to post
Daisy

Barb,

 

I wonder if your husband's A/D W/D has manifested itself through audio hallucinations? Though I did not have that, I did have a couple of visual hallucinations when I c/t Effexor XR. They were not scary, thank goodness. One was a cat jumping back and forth...the other a lizard doing push ups.

 

Or it could have been a combination of the hearing loss and a brain zap ocurring at the same time. I heard a noise in my ears when my zaps happened.

 

But being the type of person he is, he may not ever admit that W/D is contributing to his erratic, abusive behavior.

 

Take care

 

Daisy

Share this post


Link to post
Altostrata

Or, it could be that his hearing loss has progressed, and he's trying to act as though it isn't a problem!

 

Barb, why don't you let him know that it's gotten so bad you can hardly talk to him, and ask him to wear his hearing aid when he's home?

 

Letting him know you want to talk to him might be good for your relationship, too. Unless you really don't!

Share this post


Link to post
Barbarannamated

Alto,

I've tried that approach to no avail. It's humiliating and infuriating to realize how bad this has all gotten over the years. I began asking him to have his hearing checked 10 years ago. I tried every approach imaginable and blame was laid on me every time: I don't talk loud enough, I face the wrong direction, he's watching TV, etc. I finally told him how I went along with some of the things he thought I was saying just for kicks. That was what finally got him to go to audiologist. Moderate to severe loss was determined, displayed on graphs that he explained. Never an apology or acknowledgment of so many fights and complete cessation of communication over the years. Then he got an advanced aid and won't wear at home (or as I interpret 'just with me'). I've asked but at this point there is too much mutual disrespect and damage.

Very hurtful.

Share this post


Link to post
Nikki

Alot of stress Barb...

 

Let's look at the situation. He did a (6) week taper from Effexor. We know the aftermath and WD effects. Maybe he doesn't.

 

His hearing is poor. He won't wear his aid in the house. He blames you and that is his denial over his own hearing loss. Could be too much for him to accept. Lots of people who lose their hearing do this. His inability to hear clearly is his doing.

 

He is negative in his responses. Has that always been his personality?

 

You have your own health issues and have been going thru WD for a a long time.

 

You said he works one day per week. The stress from all of this is big. What would a viable solution be, or what can you do to be less affected by it. Is there any way to have a discussion in a calm manner? If not, can you get out of the house more often. Take care of yourself by being outdoors, to rejuvinate yourself a bit.

 

Daily walks. Walking and running saved me when things were not good in my home with my former spouse. Can you try to make each and every day a way to be good to you. Detachment from your husband and space may be helpful for you at this time. What about minor volunteer work?

 

Consider yourself Hugged ;)

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy