Vegalia: Escitalopram and Lysanxia ( prazepam)

[Vegalia]

Good morning,

 

16 november

 

Sleep : 12. pm to 5 am with several wakes. Very slight sleep. woke with legs aches which not during long time. 5.30 : very hard nausea, ball in stomach. Can't sleep anymore. Despair, suicidal ideas: first time. 

spine, neck, back bad sensations.

 

6.40 : get up because of nausea : as Every morning.

Nausea and ball in stomach horrible. Arms burnings a lot. Spine, back, neck too. Sensation of electricty in head slight.Spasmes in muscle : back and arms.Despair : 8

9. am : prazepam 4,75 mg

11.am : fog in Brain and sligth dépersonalisation, feel like my brain was anesthesied until 3 pm.Back , neck, very contracted. Despair reduce : 6

Noon :  escitalopram 1,50 mg. 

1. pm : eat bread and banana.

1.30 : go to lie on : a little less physical symptoms

3. pm :  prazepam 4,75 mg.

5. pm : a lot of aches and bad sensations to back, spine, neck, head....Horrible. Nausea.ball in stomach. 

7.30 eat 

8.15 pm : Go to rest. Back and neck always very contracted. Zap in brain, nausea.

9. pm :  prazepam 4,75 mg : physical symptôms horrible. Despair

11 pm : L-tryptophan 200 mg. Aches reduce a little : good sleep of 6 h- 6.30 h.

 

*****

nausea : a lot.

Equilibrium problems :  not a lot

visual problems :  no

Bruxism : 5

sensibility to light and noises  : reduce

difficulties for speech  : a little.

spasm in stomach

 

 Physical  symptôms in back, neck,head umbearable. Hard nausea, ball in stomach. 

Hard aches in arms like electricity and tingling.

I were not particulary anxious...

 

--> Since 15 days I can say that a lot of symptôms has reduced. However I feel me worse :

Aches, contractions, tingling, electricity, burnings in back, spine, neck, head and arms are harder and harder. It become extremely violent like an agony. I think it is the reason of my despair. I have thèse symptômes since more of 2 months and they are gradualy harder and harder. 

Nausea, ball in spasm in stomach are very hard too, my stomach is burning : it increase 3 last day. Fog in Brain is difficult.

 

(I know aches, and I often had sévère aches in my life : endometriosis,  multiples orthopedic surgereries, arthrosis, rare illness on a nerv of my left foot, irritable bowel, hard gastritis, récurrent cystitis...)

The aches I have now are over all I have already had.= hell.

 

Vega.

 

 

 

 

[Shep]

On 11/14/2019 at 8:31 AM, Vegalia said:

I want to be honest with you: in panic today, I made an update at 1.75 mg. I immédiately regreted it. 2 hours after I have less aches, but I feel elsewhere, as if my brain were extinguished.

 

On 11/16/2019 at 6:37 AM, Vegalia said:

I took back 1.50 mg. I think that the majority of my symptoms are a problem of AD and not of benzo:I am almost 100 ℅ sure.

In spite of that no one did propose me of update of the escitalopram: surely for a very good reason. So...

 

Vega, do you mean you increased the escitalopram to 1.75 mg? And then reduced to 1.50 mg? 

 

 

[Vegalia]

26 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

 

Vega, do you mean you increased the escitalopram to 1.75 mg? And then reduced to 1.50 mg? 

 

 

Hello Shep,

 

Yes, I did it. 👎

I paniced, I know is bad... 😢

[Shep]

I would not say it's bad because you answered a question - you were wondering if updosing the antidepressant would be helpful and now you know it did not help. It can take 4 days for your nervous system to register a change, so it may be that you didn't give it time. However, since you recently came off the lithium supplement, you may want to stop making changes for awhile and see if your nervous system can become more stable.

 

Please don't be mad at yourself, Vega. 

[Vegalia]

12 minutes ago, Shep said:

I would not say it's bad because you answered a question - you were wondering if updosing the antidepressant would be helpful and now you know it did not help. It can take 4 days for your nervous system to register a change, so it may be that you didn't give it time. However, since you recently came off the lithium supplement, you may want to stop making changes for awhile and see if your nervous system can become more stable.

 

Please don't be mad at yourself, Vega. 

Thank you Shep,

 

I know it can take 4 days or more.

I' m worry with my awfull sensations in brain and my state who is worse. Affraid to have such symptômes for months or years.  I am affraid to have wayting to long time for a succès updose or not updosed enought when I did first time.

And in the same time : affraid to be too nervous with a updose now.

I never paniced like that. In french forum I was présent to support the other, calme, quiet...Erell, or Frenchgirl could say this. Now, it is me in panic... 

 

Thank you Shep for your words.

How many time should I waiting before taper L-tryptophane please?

 

Thank you a lot Shep.

 

Vega

 

[Vegalia]

17 november

 

Sleep : 11.30 pm to 6 am. Woke with legs aches which not during long time, spine, neck, back bad sensations.

7.am : get up because of very hard nausea : as every morning.

Nausea and ball in stomach horrible. Arms burnings a lot. Spine, back, neck too. Sensation of electricty in head slight.Spasmes in muscle : back and arms. Dépression 6.

9. am : prazepam 4,75 mg

10.am : hard headache. Feel me nervous.

11.30 am : wash me and my hairs : headache reduce...

Noon :  escitalopram 1,50 mg. 

1. pm : eat.

2. pm :  go to lie on in bed : cardiac coherency, a little less physical symptoms, nervosity reduce, very tired, drowsiness, but I feel quiet.

3.10 pm :  prazepam 4,75 mg : hard to get up to take the dose.

4. pm : a lot of aches and bad sensations to back, spine, neck, head....Horrible. Nausea.ball in stomach. Dépression 5. Bad intrusive image : always the same.

7.30. pm eat anxiety 6.

8.15 pm : Go to rest in bed. Cardiac cohérency, anxiety 4. Physical symptôms reduce.

9. pm :  prazepam 4,75 mg. Not a lot physical symptoms but intrusive image again. Despair.

11 pm : L-tryptophan 200 mg. Go in bed, cardiac cohérence. good sleep of 6 h.

 

*****

nausea : a lot.

Equilibrium problems :  no

visual problems :  no

Bruxism : 5

sensibility to light and noises  : stable.

difficulties for speech  : a little.

spasm in stomach : a lot

 

 Physical  symptôms in neck,head umbearable, back more bearable. Hard nausea, ball in stomach. 

Hard aches in arms like electricity and tingling.

No DR/ DP. Not a lot fog in brain.

I feel me in wave of hard dépression again. Can't be happy of symptôms which have reduced. Can't be happy with nothing. Despair. 

I did nothing of my day. A lot of ruminations...Affraid of become crazy. Despair and with my CNS...

 

This morning, hard nausea but the other physical symptoms are not sévère : they are bearable. But I can't be happy of that.

intrusive image again and again.

Despair : 8. Affraid. Hard dépression : I don't want to do anything. I'm wayting my 9 am dose and will go to bed again. Féel me stupid. 

 

(Christmas makes me sad. I had an invitation to my aunt's home with the family: I do not feel able to go there I do not have money to give gifts and I'm so sad. I am sad to refuse all invitations since two months

I anticipate too much.

 

I have no more social life : only by web...sometimes with telephone. However great to find support in web. I do nothing of my life anymore. Feel me totaly disconected of réal life) 

 

Really need to cry.

 

Sorry to be So négative. 

 

Vega.

 

 

[Shep]

4 hours ago, Vegalia said:

(Christmas makes me sad. I had an invitation to my aunt's home with the family: I do not feel able to go there I do not have money to give gifts and I'm so sad. I am sad to refuse all invitations since two months

I anticipate too much.

 

Please remember this is a temporary situation, Vega. You will have many Christmases to celebrate once you heal. 

 

4 hours ago, Vegalia said:

This morning, hard nausea but the other physical symptoms are not sévère : they are bearable. But I can't be happy of that.

intrusive image again and again.

 

Are you feeling better overall now? Do you feel that these past changes have improved your overall symptoms? 

 

4 hours ago, Vegalia said:

No DR/ DP. Not a lot fog in brain.

I feel me in wave of hard dépression again. Can't be happy of symptôms which have reduced.

 

It looks like your thoughts are clearing. When this happens, we can be prone to getting depressed. We see our situation clearly and who wouldn't feel depressed while so sick? In a way, dp/dr is a protective force that keeps us from feeling our emotions. So when dp/dr is gone, we suddenly feel the sadness of the situation. 

 

This is a normal part of the tapering and recovery process. Try to find some distractions such as a favorite tv show or some favorite music. Remember to distract through your symptoms with healthy distractions. Take a walk if you're able. Watch funny memes on the internet. Read success stories. And remember, this is a temporary situation. 

 

20 hours ago, Vegalia said:

How many time should I waiting before taper L-tryptophane please?

 

Please update your signature with the date you came off the lithium supplement. A direct link to your signature is here:

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 

You may want to give yourself a week or two without making any changes. You have reported some improvements, which is good. By not making any changes, you'll build a solid foundation before reducing the l-tryptophane. 

[Vegalia]

2 hours ago, Shep said:

 

S'il vous plaît rappelez-vous qu'il s'agit d'une situation temporaire, Vega. Vous aurez beaucoup de Noël à célébrer une fois que vous guérissez. 

 

 

Te sens-tu mieux dans l'ensemble maintenant? Pensez-vous que ces changements passés ont amélioré vos symptômes globaux? 

 

 

Il semble que vos pensées s'éclaircissent. Lorsque cela se produit, nous pouvons être sujets à la dépression. Nous voyons clairement notre situation et qui ne se sentirait pas déprimé si malade? Dp / dr est en quelque sorte une force protectrice qui nous empêche de ressentir nos émotions. Donc, quand dp / dr est parti, nous sentons soudain la tristesse de la situation. 

 

Ceci est une partie normale du processus de réduction et de récupération. Essayez de trouver des sources de distraction telles que votre émission de télévision préférée ou votre musique préférée. N'oubliez pas de distraire vos symptômes par des distractions saines. Promenez-vous si vous en êtes capable. Regarder des mèmes drôles sur internet. Lire des histoires de réussite. Et rappelez-vous, ceci est une situation temporaire. 

 

 

Veuillez mettre à jour votre signature avec la date à laquelle vous êtes sorti du supplément de lithium. Un lien direct vers votre signature est ici:

 

Paramètres du compte - Créer ou modifier une signature

 

Vous voudrez peut-être vous donner une semaine ou deux sans faire de changement. Vous avez signalé des améliorations, ce qui est bien. En ne faisant aucun changement, vous construirez une base solide avant de réduire le l-tryptophane. 

Hello Shep,

 

1. Yes you are right.

 

2. No i dont. At noon after I got up again, physical symptôms which are horrible for me in head came back. In arms too, but arms I bear it even yif is hard. 

 

3. I sée 2 reasons of dépression :

- You're right again. But with endometriosis with terrible aches and traumatics évents in my life, my mood was sometimes bas but not So bad and I always found courage and hope.It is not realist I'm suffering more than hard traumatics évents now.So much fights in my life and Nevers dépressive as now.

- Is it induce by what I dis with DA and damages of my CNS : that is what is scaring me.

 

-4 I just Côme back of kinesitherapy for my aches and it is to a reason to force me to go out. I go 2 x a week nos. It was hard with violent symptôms.Drive 5 km. I cryed a little by kiné when he worked slowly with my head : it didn't mâkes me more aches, on the contrary but I cryed . But after I took courage to walk 20 mn. Happy in nature and taking photos.

Now, I have fog in Brain again and DR/ DP. I'd like to do occupation : too tired.

Since weeks I say me : I want too read a book : I do not.

I will try to watch TV but now my brain is like anesthésied, as it didn't wanted to work again : horrible. Too much TV is hard for my éyes, even if I'm less sensible to light, I'm always.  and I take a little timeevery day to be with my companion who is ever watching TV. Even in bedroom to feel asleep. He tryed to not watch TV to feel asleep, for me, but it was worse. I' m wearing earplugs and night mask since two month again. 

I think I must stop to read hard historiés hère, even succes stories are often hard.,because sometimes it takes years to live with bearable symptôms. I must be abble to work in february : no choice to pay my house, eat, live. I want to think that I will be abble too, but I'm affraid that I can't : bad and toxic thing. It will be better if I didn't think about it.^^

 

5. Yes I will do it.

 

Wow, aches to êyes with this post.^^

 

 

Thank you So much Shep !!!

 

Have a good day 

 

Vega 

 

 

Edited November 18, 2019 by Vegalia
Correction

[Vegalia]

18 november/ 5 days after stop lithium citrate

 

Sleep : 11.30 pm to 6 am. Woke with legs aches which not during long time, spine, neck, back bad sensations.

7.am : get up because of very hard nausea : as every morning.

Nausea and ball in stomach horrible. Arms burnings a little. Spine, back, neck too. Sensation of electricty in head slight.S Dépression 8, despair.

9. am : prazepam 4,75

9.30 am. : go to lie on in bed.

11.30 am : get up, violent sensations in head and neck, fog in brain, DR/ DP

Noon :  escitalopram 1,50 mg, eat.

1.30 : kinésithérapy : good care. Walk 20 mn and take photos. Proud of me Dépression 5.

2. pm :  fog in brain and umpleasant sensations well reduced.

3.pm  prazepam 4,75 mg, feel me not So bad.

7.30. pm eat, umpleasant sensations in neck and head increase a little

8.15 pm : Go to rest in bed. Cardiac cohérency.

9. pm :  get up prazepam 4,75 mg. 

9.30 pm : not a lot of symptôms, bearable.

11 pm : electricity and tingling in head again but less violents, arms burnings. L-tryptophan 200 mg

11.30 pm : Go in bed, cardiac cohérence. good sleep of 6 h.

 

*****

nausea : a lot on morning

Equilibrium problems :  no

visual problems :  no

Bruxism : 5

sensibility to light and noises  : stable.

difficulties for speech  : a little.

spasm in stomach : a lot an morning.

 Physical  symptôms were not awfull all the day. Back less contracted and less doulourous 

Very hard dépression and despair on morning, less on afternoon and evening

No nervosity. Anxiety very little 2

New symptôm : a sort of tingling and pulsations, little tremors in lips and tooth all day long.

 

Difficut day but : progress and hope.

 

I sleeped 5.30/6h. But very, very tired this morning. Always sensations in lips, tooth, head and nose 

Want to watch TV but I'm fighting with sleep as if I had took two doses of prazepam, but sûre to take one dose. It is 9.30 am.

 

Have a good day.

 

Vega.

[Vegalia]

Hello,

 

Sorry to post again...

 

I need support . I feel me not brave.

Very little aches : So lucky, always sensations in lips, not dramatic.

 

But : dépression 9, restlessness/agitation 8 and in the same time hard tiredness.

I feeled me not bad yesterday evening and had hope. What happen ? 

I try to calm me. Agitation is internal. I'm not dangerous but I'm affraid of myself. 😢

 

Tomorow is another day.

 

Hope for everyone hère.

 

Vega 

[rola]

@Vegalia

courage ma belle on va y arriver 

je t embrasse et pense bien fort à toi 

si je pouvais t aider je le ferais 😘

 

 

courage my beautiful we'll get there I kiss you and think very much about you

 

if I could not help I would do it

[Vegalia]

Merci @rola

 

Un peu de soutien aide toujours. 

 

Je me sens moins dépressive mais très grosses nausées, bras qui brûlent et les sensations dans la tête qui reviennent.

 

Patience ❤️

 

vega.

 

Thank you Rola   A little support always helps.   I feel less depressed but very nauseated, burning arms and sensations in the head that come back.   Patience

[Sassenach]

Hi Vega

 

9 hours ago, Vegalia said:

No nervosity. Anxiety very little 2

Yesterday

 

3 hours ago, Vegalia said:

dépression 9, restlessness/agitation 8

Today

The windows and waves are developing as your baseline is slowly improving.

You need to remember you were very ill and have endured a lot of dose and time changes.

You are sensitive to drugs so it will take time, but you are getting there.

 

Sass

[Vegalia]

1 hour ago, Sassenach said:

Hi Vega

 

Yesterday

 

Today

The windows and waves are developing as your baseline is slowly improving.

You need to remember you were very ill and have endured a lot of dose and time changes.

You are sensitive to drugs so it will take time, but you are getting there.

 

Sass

 

 

Hello Sass,

 

Thank you So much.

The symptôms are so numérous and violents, doulourous.

I should forget my terror to not be abble to work in february.If I can't I loose my home. 

I should have less ruminations : bad to get better.

Time makes me affraid : months or years? 

 

Hope, hope hope, I must say myself hope as a mantra.

 

Good night

 

Vega.

 

 

 

 

 

[Vegalia]

Good morning,

 

19 november/ 6 days after stop lithium citrate

 

Sleep : 11.30 pm to 5.30 am. Woke with legs aches which not during long time, spine, neck, bad sensations but slight. Hard nausea..

7.am : get up because of very hard nausea : as every morning.

Nausea and ball in stomach horrible. Sensation of lremor and pulsation in lips and  tooth : all day long.Dépression 9, internal restlessness. 9 until 4 pm.

9. am : prazepam 4,75

10.am. : very tired, go to lie on in bed to rest.

Noon :  escitalopram 1,50 mg, eat.1.30 

3.pm  prazepam 4,75 mg.

4. pm : depression 5, nausea.

7.30. pm eat, umpleasant sensations in neck, head, arms burnings.

9. pm :  get up prazepam 4,75 mg. 

11 pm : electricity and tingling in head increase but less violents, arms burnings., nausea.L-tryptophan 200 mg

Go in bed. Sleep 11.30 pm to 5 am. Bad wake : legs aches, hard nausea, bad things, very despressed, anxious, tremors and pulsation in lips, tooth, nose, cold body.

 

*****

nausea : several tomes, hard.

Equilibrium problems :  a little on evening.

visual problems :  no

Bruxism : 5

sensibility to light and noises  : stable.

difficulties for speech  : a little.

spasm in stomach : a lot an morning.

 Physical  symptôms were not awfull all the day. Back less contracted and less doulourous 

Very hard dépression and despair until 4 pm and internal restlesness. Despair

A,sort of tingling and pulsations, little tremors in lips and tooth all day long.

Back les contracted.

Very tired

 

Have a good day.

 

Vega.

[Vegalia]

Some news and a question :

 

I managed to change of channel this morning, even if I was bad, it helped me.

Noon : hard DR/ DP and hard fog in Brain.

2 pm. : less DR/ DP, always a lot fog in brain, but in the same time : internal restlessness in my Brain and internal agressivity. Sensations of rage, even if I don't want to be bad with myself or anybody : I don't have such things, but things on yell or to broke something: I will not do it.

 

How to help for rage? 

 

I know why you wanted to separate antidepressant and benzo, but I think that when I was very nervous and had internal sensations of agressivity with all my antidepressants, to take my benzo juste after antidepressant helped me with it.

 

Before antidépressant I was a quiet person with a lot of self contrôle. Rage, agressivity is not me. 😢 Ever tremor and pulsations in lips, teeth, nose and yet tongue too, jaws, head. It don't stop. Spasmes in stomach.

 

 

I feel me too tired and dépressive to do some activity to unwind ( me défouler).

I feel me as if I had all neuro- émotions possible in a day, sometimes all in the same time. All internal. Awfull. The contrary of who I am really. I try to calm me in bed with TV.

 

Thank you if you had advices with rage.

 

Vega.

 

 

Edited November 20, 2019 by Vegalia

[Vegalia]

Good morning,

 

20 november/ 7 days after stop lithium citrate

 

Sleep : 11.30 pm to 5 am. Bad wake : legs aches, hard nausea, bad things, very despressed, anxious, tremors and pulsation in lips, tooth, nose, cold body

7. am : get up. Dépression 6, anxiety 7. Try to change of channel : watching music on web, playing quizz with friends on web.

9. am : prazepam 4,75

10.am : phone of a friend.

11.am : umpleasant sensations in head. Begining of DP/ DR. Forced me to do a little shopping : always change of channel. Dépression 4, anxiety 5. Optimitic : imagine me abble to work (job) this morning even with difficulties.

Noon :  escitalopram 1,50 mg, eat.Hard DR/ DP and hard fog in Brain.

2 pm. : less DR/ DP, always a lot fog in brain, but in the same time : internal restlessness in my Brain and internal agressivity. Sensations of rage, even if I don't want to be bad with myself or anybody : I don't have such things, but things on yell or to broke something.

3.pm  prazepam 4,75 mg. Rest in bed, try to change of channel again.

4.30. pm : no more rage. DP/ DR, fog in Brain reduce but not totaly.

5. pm : get up. Dépression 5, anxiety 5, restlessness 5. Back very contracted. Umpleasant sensations in neck and head. Hard nausea. Can take a moment with my companion. I'm very very tired.

7.pm : eat. 

7.45 pm : rest in bed.

9. pm :  get up prazepam 4,75 mg. 

9 .30 pm : get better, calm. No more sensations in lips, jaw, tooth, tongue.l, but always in head and nose a little. Dépression 4, anxiety 2.

11 pm , arms burning, .L-tryptophan 200 mg

Go in bed. Sleep 11.30 pm to 5 am.
 

*****

nausea : several times, hard.

Equilibrium problems :  no

visual problems :  no

Bruxism : 5

sensibility to light and noises  : stable.

difficulties for speech  : a little.

spasm in stomach : a lot 

 Physical  symptôms were not awfull all day.

Very tired.

Horrible period with neuro-emotion noon to 4-5 am. Sensation of become crazy with very ill Brain😭

 

Today wake : with back very contracted (lombars) and a pic of anxiety during 30 mn. 6 am : hard nausea. 6.30 am horrible internal restlessness and rage. 😱  hit my mattress with my fists and my feet to unwind. Then I lay down with a drop of lavender essential oil on each wrist and a drop on a small handkerchief. I feel better

[Vegalia]

I'm sorry.

I tryed to change my signature several times as @Shep asked me for citrate lithium. It does't work.

When I save :

 

Your chosen signature does not meet the guidelines

 

 

[Shep]

4 hours ago, Vegalia said:

I'm sorry.

I tryed to change my signature several times as @Shep asked me for citrate lithium. It does't work.

When I save :

 

Your chosen signature does not meet the guidelines

 

 

 

Your signature may be too long. You may be able to shorten it by leaving out some of the narrative and just have the date, drug, and dose. 

[Vegalia]

30 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

Your signature may be too long. You may be able to shorten it by leaving out some of the narrative and just have the date, drug, and dose. 

 

Hello Shep,

 

Ok. Thank you. 

 

Physical symptôms are bearable.

 

But with neuro-emotions is terrible. Not a lot anxiety but : tiredness, fog in Brain a lot, dépression, des pair, apathy, Brain like anesthésied and very hard  Brain restlessness, rage in the same time.

I try to change of channel I can't even if I take all my courage. Or I can a little time and I'm bad again.

I try to have positive things. Nothing works : torture. Horror again since noon.

 

I thought to have knowed the worse...but I dindn't,  the worse is now. Since yesterday.

 

Have I internal or mental akhatisia?  No néed to move my body.

 

I will take courage again. Hope it will get better this evening as yesterday.

 

Vega 

 

 

[Vegalia]

@Shep

 

I did it.

 

I'm yelling alone in home ! 😫

 

[rola]

@vegalia 

ça va vega 

[Vegalia]

I will take all my courage again

Can't yell anymore because my companion is back at home. Mental suffering horrible but I must do if i was good.

 

I say me as a mantra : I'm feeling good. Life is beautifull. I'm brave. Hope, hope, hope. Tomorow will be a better day.

 

Bisous

 

Vega.

 

 

 

[Hisame]

Hi Vega,

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so bad. 

I’m sad to read all you describe about your suffering because it reminds me my story.

I know what is daily pain, the feeling of rage, and the horror of akathisia.

But we are all different. Nobody can predict how you will be when you will be free.

There is hope. There will be time when you will feel better.

You are brave 🙂

[Vegalia]

Good morning,

 

21 november/ 8 days after stop lithium citrate

 

Sleep : 11.30 pm to 5 am.  wake : with back very contracted (lombars) and a pic of anxiety during 30 mn. 6 am : hard nausea.

6.30 am : horrible internal restlessness and rage. 😱  hit my mattress with my fists and my feet to unwind. Then I lay down with a drop of lavender essential oil on each wrist and a drop on a small handkerchief. 

7.30 am : get up, very hard nauséa but better with neuro-emotions

9. am : prazepam 4,75

11.am : . Begining of DP/ DR 

11.30 am : tiredness, fog in Brain a lot, dépression, despair, apathy, Brain like anesthésied and very hard  Brain restlessness, rage in the same time. Spasmes in stomach.

Noon :  escitalopram 1,50 mg, eat. Bath with essentiel oïl lavanda. Feel me a little better but no long time.

3.pm  prazepam 4,75 mg.

4. pm : Horrible neuro-emotion always here. I yell. 

4.15 pm : my companion Côme back at home. Force to do as nothing was.

5. pm : Rest in bed listening musique.

6.pm : get up  Restlessness 5, anxiety 7.Even if anxiety is at 7 I feel much less bad.

6.30 pm : kinésithérapy. Restlessness 4, anxiety 5.

7.30 m : very hard nausea, ball in stomach. est.

9. pm :  prazepam 4,75 mg. 

10. pm : feel me a little better.

10.30 pm , arms burning, .L-tryptophan 200 mg. No more restlessness but always nausea.

Go in bed. Sleep 11.pm to 2.30 am wake by my companion I dont know why. (Sometimes I ronfle) 
 

*****

nausea : several times, hard.

Equilibrium problems :  no

visual problems :  no

Bruxism : 5

sensibility to light and noises : very little in great réduction.

difficulties for speech  : a little.

spasm in stomach : a lot 

 Physical  symptôms were présent but bearable. Nausea hard

Very tired.

Neuro-emotion : horrible.

 

I did not really sleep since 2.30 pm. I tryed. Fighting with neuro-emotion and internal horrible restlessness at 9 or more...Force me to stay in bed motionless because my companion sleep is bad.

7 am : My companion go to work. I try to move very faut my legs and arms to unwind.I yell. Nothing works.

I'm feeling as if I had horrible lak of a drug crisis.

Is too hard for me. I résist to not phone émergencies. I like life, but my state is over over I can bear even if I say me I can get better. I'm sorry to write this.

I wonder me if try sertraline again could help me. Or increase Lysanxia ?

 

Thanks a lot of all what you did for me. I' m very Grateful. I think that you can't doing more.

 

Thank you, thank you, everybody and best wishes. With lot of love.

 

Vega.

[Vegalia]

I hit my mattress and scream. Nothing passes.....

 

However no fog in Brain. I am lucide

 

Vega

[rola]

salut vega 

j'espère que tu va  mieux  une grande pensée 

je t 'embrasse 😘

[Vegalia]

Coucou @rola

 

Je n'ai pas eu d'autre crise réellement depuis ce matin même si c'est très très dur.

J'ai fait une séance d'hypnose sur YouTube qu'on m'a conseillée ca m'a fait un peu de bien.

C'est pas trop pour l'agitation mentale mais pour l:'anxiété et attaques de paniques. 

Je t'enverrai si tu veux.

 

Bisous.

 

Hello @rola

 

I have not had another crisis really since this morning although it is very very hard.

I did a hypnosis session on YouTube that I was advised it did me a little good.

It's not too much for mental agitation but for anxiety and panic attacks.

I'll send you if you want.

 

Kisses.

[rola]

@ Vegalia

 salut vega 

tant mieux que tu as pas eu de crise 

Je veux bien ton lien ,ça peut me faire du bien merci 

moi je suis levé depuis 4h du matin je pense que je vais faire une grande sieste cette aprèm 

je t'embrasse et je te souhaite un bon week end 

 

 

so much better that you have not had a crisis
I want your link , it can do me good thank you
I'm up since 4am I think I'm going to have a big nap this afternoon
I kiss you and wish you a good weekend

[Vegalia]

Hi @rola,

 

Je t'enverrai ça.

 

Bisous

 

Vega.

[Vegalia]

 Good morning,

 

22 november/ 9 days after stop lithium citrate

 

Sleep 11.pm to 2.30 am wake by my companion I dont know why. 

did not really sleep since 2.30 pm. I tryed. Fighting with neuro-emotion and internal horrible restlessness at 9 or more...Force me to stay in bed motionless. Restlesness 8.

7 am : My companion go to work. I try to move very faut my legs and arms to unwind.I yell. Nothing works.

I'm feeling as if I had horrible lak of a drug crisis.

8am: Hit my mattress and scream. Nothing passes. Restlesness 9 or more.

9.am : prazeprazepam 4,75 mg.

9.30am : did hypnosis session. Feel me a little better and a little drowsiness. Restlesness 5 / dépression 8/ despair 8. A lot of ruminations. The same until 9pm.

noon : escitalopram 1,50 mg.

3pm : prazepam 4,75 mg

6/pm : anxiety 7.

9pm prazepam 4,75 mg. Watching TV with my companion

10.30 pm : go in bed listening music. Cardiac cohérence.

11.15 pm : ligths off. I'm quiet.

I sleeped no long time, maybe until 3. Very hard night. Restlesness, very bad things, want to d'y,  several wakes, hypnagogics hallucinations. But sometimes I managéd to focus on the noise of the gain to calme me a little.

 

Physical  symptôms were présent but bearable. Nausea hard, ball in stomach.

Very tired.

Neuro-emotion : horrible.Bad things, despair. Hard restlesness. No DR/ DP, not a lot for in Brain.

i rested in bed almost all day.

No more visual problèm. Sensibiliy to noise and light bearable now : sligth. No more diarrhea.

 

Have a good day.

 

Vega

[Vegalia]

Good morning,

 

23 november/ 10 days after stop lithium citrate

 

Sleep 11.30 pm maybe until 3am Very hard night. Restlesness, very bad things, want to die,  several wakes, hypnagogics hallucinations. But sometimes I managéd to focus on the noise of the rain to calm me a little

7.30 am get up dépression 8, restlessness 8, despair 8, ruminations : these neuro émotions very fluctuate all day, unstable. Tiredness. Bad physicak sensations in head, fluctuate all day. Other aches but bearable. Nausea 

9.am : prazeprazepam 4,75 mg.

1.am : a lot fog in Brain, confusion.

noon : escitalopram 1,50 mg.

3pm : prazepam 4,75 mg lees fog in brain and no more confusion.

9pm prazepam 4,75 mg. Watching TV with my companion, feel me bad

10.pm : window !!! 

11.15 pm : return of aches.intrusive things.

Sleep 12pm to 4 amRest in bed, neuro-emotions very instable, hypnagogic hallucinations. I think I sleep again at +/-7.am but alarm woke me at 8.30am.

 

Physical  symptôms were présent but bearable. 

Very tired.

Neuro-emotion : horrible.Bad things, despair. Hard restlesness. No DR/ DP. Fog in Brain.

i rested in bed several times in day, try to relax. 

Very hard day but a little window.

 

Wonder me if I should try go back to sertraline. Neuro-emotion too hard. I sée my psychiatist wednesday

 

Have a good day.

 

Vega

[Vegalia]

Good morning,

 

24 november/ 11 days after stop lithium citrate

 

Sleep midnight to 4 am. Rest in bed, neuro-emotions very instable, hypnagogic hallucinations. I think I sleep again at +/-7.am but alarm woke me at 8.30am

9.am : get up prazeprazepam 4,75 mg, return in bed until 10 am. Back very contracted. Dépression 5/ restlessness 5 : it is a middle for the day but very fluctuated all day in intensity.

noon : escitalopram 1,50 mg. Fog in Brain, a little DR/DP, anxiety 6.

1.30.pm take courage and walk 30 mn : proud.

3.pm : prazepam 4,75 mg

4.pm : anxiety 3.

Watching ice skating compétition, it is a passion for me : really managed to change of channel.

9.pm prazepam 4,75 mg. Watching TV with my companion, feel me not So bad.

10.30.pm L-tryptophan 200 mg, go in bed

Sleep 11.30 pm to 5.30.am : very Grateful for this good night ! 

 

It is very difficult to describe the symptôms hour by hour an the intensity because they fluctuated a lot and often. And I think I managéd to a little bit less focus on them.

Physical symptôms increased : back and neck contracted, umpleasant sensations in head, arms burning. Difficultés but not horrible. Less nausea, no ball in stomach.

Neuro-emotion very fluctuated and unstable always very hard but really not So hard than yesterday. Less ruminations, less  scared. No crisis : limit somtimes but no crisis of internal rage. No néed to yell.

I spoke last days in web with people who have or have had very hard symptôms during benzo or AD taper, had support, advices for acceptation, to change of channel and natural selfcare : exemple a little cold in head is good for électriciy in head.

 

Have a good day.

 

Vega

[Shep]

On 11/24/2019 at 4:32 AM, Vegalia said:

10.pm : window !!! 

 

3 hours ago, Vegalia said:

Sleep 11.30 pm to 5.30.am : very Grateful for this good night ! 

 

Very nice to read you're seeing some improvements, Vega. 

[Vegalia]

1 hour ago, Shep said:

 

 

Very nice to read you're seeing some improvements, Vega. 

 

 

Hello Shep,

 

Yes. Thank you.

Mental akathisy now. Sad but dont panic.

 

But : I didn't made selfcares today and smoked too much cigarettes... Bad

I'm gooing to rest in bedroom with slight light, cardiaque cohérency and other mild selfcares.

 

I know to that nothing is linear.

 

Have a good day

 

Vega 

 

[Vegalia]

Good morning,

 

25 november/ 11 days after stop lithium citrate

 

Sleep 11.30.pm 5.30 am. : feel me bad with neuro-emotions which fluctuated a lot. 

9.am : prazepam 4,75 mg,

11.30.am : A lot fog in Brain, a little DR/DP, anxiety 6.

noon : escitalopram 1,50 mg.

2.pm: less fog in brain and DR/DP, mental akathisie : crisis.

3.pm : prazepam 4,75 mg

8.pm : bad new : cry. But stop to cry very fast because my father phoned me.

9.pm prazepam 4,75 mg. Watching TV with my companion, feel me bad with neuro-emotions, hard nausea, ball in stomach.

11.pm L-tryptophan 200 mg, go in bed

Sleep midnight to 5.30.am, bad wake with anxiety.

 

It is very difficult to describe the symptôms hour by hour an the intensity because they fluctuated a lot and often.

Restlessness was hard all day long :6-8 with a pic at 2.pm with crisis. Dépression : 6-7. Anxiety : 5-6. (I bear anxiety more than restlessness and dépression even if it is hard)

Physical symptôms increased again :back and neck contracted, horrible umpleasant sensations in head and spine, arms burning. All day return of sensation of électricity and pulsations in lips.
Hard nausea, ball in stomach all evening until to sleep.

-->Harder than yesterday, very hard. I thougt to taper L-tryptophan now but it seem's it help me to sleep?

 

Have a good day.

 

Vega.