cathnz: tapering off Remeron / mirtazapine

[cathnz]

@Altostrata as per above message, I'm not taking any other meds, drugs, or supplements of any kind and haven't for many many months. I have made no changes to meds in 8 months and no changes to supplements in about 3 months.

 

I will do the symptom diary, although it will look exactly as per the ones I've done above in the past - my routine hasn't changed and nor has the occurance of the symptoms... they're now just more intense. There is no time of day that is consistently better or worse. But I will restart symptom logging again. 

[Altostrata]

23 hours ago, cathnz said:

Which brings me back to the question... could this actually be caused by the 'new' med Mirtazapine (it began happening within 3 weeks after the switch). Seeing as things are getting worse, not better, with time, could this be the Mirtazapine building up and making me sicker? If so, how on earth will I face a taper when I'm already so unstable?? My depression and anxiety is the most severe its been in 17 years - its on par with how bad I was before I was ever put on meds (the severity of which lead me to meds in the first place). If it IS the Mirtazapine causing the akathisia, if I continuing holding to let my cns settle more before tapering, can staying on the offending med increase the chances of this being permanent? 

 

What is the "new" mirtazapine? Did you switch brands?

 

Looking back over your topic, you seemed to say the symptoms got worse after you took mirtazapine. Is this so, or is there no difference after you take mirtazpine?

 

From your signature:

Quote

Friday 4th October - present: Reduced from 45mg to 30mg (straight drop to alleviate akathisia - reduction definitely helped alot but still not gone completely)

 

It could be 30mg mirtazapine has become too much for you as well. Have you tried a 10% decrease since October?

 

[cathnz]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

 

What is the "new" mirtazapine? Did you switch brands?

 

Looking back over your topic, you seemed to say the symptoms got worse after you took mirtazapine. Is this so, or is there no difference after you take mirtazpine?

 

From your signature:

 

It could be 30mg mirtazapine has become too much for you as well. Have you tried a 10% decrease since October?

 

@Altostratathank you. Sorry, my term 'new' Mirtazapine was misleading. It's been the same Mirtazapine (and brand) the entire time since the switch. I just meant 'new' in the context of the med they changed me to after the Paxil pooped out. So I've been on Mirtazapine for 10 months and on this current dose for 8 months.

 

I haven't tried reducing since October. I thought my system was too destabilised from the Paxil switch and then the abrupt sessation of the benzo in Oct. So I got too scared to try incase I destabilised further. I've kept waiting and waiting to stabilise, but it hasn't happened. And people's horror stories of even microtapers destabilising them scared me from trying. 

 

But it's getting to the point where I'm concerned of I don't take action, things might progressively get worse and irrepairable. I have thought about starting to reduce at a rate of 1% each week or two to try to avoid issues, but given that I experienced akathisia even on the 15mg they started me on (I just didn't know it at the time), it's going to be a long road down to get relief below 15mg if I'm doing it in 1% increments. On the flip side, maybe starting at 10% then slowing the rate down as I go lower might be the better option. I feel like a startled deer in the headlights not knowing what to do without worsening my depression and akathisia.

 

The akathisia I'm experiencing now is probably on par again with when it was bad on the 45mg back in Oct... the only difference being now is that I'm pulling every resource I can not to panic so that further meds don't get thrown at me. 

[Altostrata]

I would try a 10% reduction of mirtazapine. If the symptoms reduce, you're having an adverse reaction to mirtazapine, though it may be helping you sleep.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[cathnz]

4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I would try a 10% reduction of mirtazapine. If the symptoms reduce, you're having an adverse reaction to mirtazapine, though it may be helping you sleep.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

Thanks @Altostrata.

 

Re the reducing by 10%... does it matter if I make a liquid or use scales and dry cut? And once I've made the cut, if things start going south, how long should I ride it out  to see if things settle? Is it better to reinstate at the first sign of trouble, or wait? If I had to reinstate, would it be the full 10% or just a smaller amount. I know these are all 'what ifs'... I just want to be prepared while I'm in my rig mind, and give my plan to my husband. I don't want to make any stupid knee jerk decisions that I'll regret later. 

 

One more thing, in your experience, can a brain that feels on fire be an adverse reaction too, or does that sound like wd. That started later in the peice... maybe back in January. I wondered if that was some sort of protracted issue with coming off the benzo quickly in Oct. 

 

 

[cathnz]

On 6/3/2020 at 1:49 PM, cathnz said:

Thanks @Altostrata.

 

Re the reducing by 10%... does it matter if I make a liquid or use scales and dry cut? And once I've made the cut, if things start going south, how long should I ride it out  to see if things settle? Is it better to reinstate at the first sign of trouble, or wait? If I had to reinstate, would it be the full 10% or just a smaller amount. I know these are all 'what ifs'... I just want to be prepared while I'm in my rig mind, and give my plan to my husband. I don't want to make any stupid knee jerk decisions that I'll regret later. 

 

One more thing, in your experience, can a brain that feels on fire be an adverse reaction too, or does that sound like wd. That started later in the peice... maybe back in January. I wondered if that was some sort of protracted issue with coming off the benzo quickly in Oct. 

 

 

@Shep @brassmonkey... I'm not sure if @Altostratasaw my message above. Are you guys able to shed some light please? 

[Altostrata]

Have you read this Tips for tapering off Remeron (mirtazapine)

 

After you make a reduction, you observe for a while. What you do next depends on the symptoms, if any, you get. Please let us know how you're doing.

 

On 6/2/2020 at 6:49 PM, cathnz said:

One more thing, in your experience, can a brain that feels on fire be an adverse reaction too, or does that sound like wd. That started later in the peice... maybe back in January.

 

Did anything happen in December, skipped doses or antibiotics or a glass of wine to celebrate?

[Mimi79]

Hi @cathnz ,

I don’t know if you’re still coming on SA, but I just wanted to know how is going your taper?

I would like to start my remeron taper and I want to have some insight from people who are in the process.

 

Thank you and hope you are doing well...

 

Mimi79

[cathnz]

4 hours ago, Mimi79 said:

Hi @cathnz ,

I don’t know if you’re still coming on SA, but I just wanted to know how is going your taper?

I would like to start my remeron taper and I want to have some insight from people who are in the process.

 

Thank you and hope you are doing well...

 

Mimi79

 Hi @Mimi79,

 

Thanks for the message. No I haven't started my taper yet. I was still destabilised from stopping Paxil, and since then my mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I'm crippled with grief. I didn't think it wise to push a taper with all that. 

 

It scares me that I'll still be on this crap, and scared I'll hit tolerance and be forced off uncomfortably, but I just don't know what to do. Sitting tight seems the lesser of the 2 evils right now. Dealing with this grief is pretty emense. 

 

@Altostrata  @brassmonkey @Shep do you think I'm doing the right thing? 

[Mimi79]

Oh dear Cathnz,

I’m so sorry for your mother. Life can bring us big challenges along the way, even if we are stuck with this WD thing...

 

I think you are doing the good thing, especially if you are stabilizing now. Did your symptoms have improved a lot since last spring? 
 

It’s not an easy ride and we are clueless of what we have to do. The biggest challenge of all our life.

Take care!

 

Mimi79

 

 

 

[cathnz]

9 hours ago, Mimi79 said:

Oh dear Cathnz,

I’m so sorry for your mother. Life can bring us big challenges along the way, even if we are stuck with this WD thing...

 

I think you are doing the good thing, especially if you are stabilizing now. Did your symptoms have improved a lot since last spring? 
 

It’s not an easy ride and we are clueless of what we have to do. The biggest challenge of all our life.

Take care!

 

Mimi79

 

 

 

Thank you @Mimi79.

 

Have things improved? I'm not sure. Some days I think maybe. Other days maybe not. I don't think things have gone, I think perhaps I'm just getting used to them and they're my new normal. I'm not sure. 

 

I am however very scared of things getting worse if I don't get off. This beast I might have become accustomed to, but any worse, I'm not sure I could handle. 

 

Thank you for your message. Wishing healing for you x

[ChessieCat]

Hi cathnz,

 

Please condense your drug signature so that it doesn't take up so much room.  Since the software upgrade, some of the topics appear on the left side of the screen.  I'm using a desktop computer and your drug signature takes up the whole length of my screen so it makes it difficult to read posts.

 

For anything older than 2020 we just need a summary.

 

Also, we don't need anything other than drug name, dose and dates.  Other details just make it harder to see your drug history at a glance.

 

I suggest that you post your current drug signature into a post so you still have access to the information.  Once that is done you can copy the link location and include that in your drug signature.

 

Thank you.

 

Aug 2004 - Dec 2006: Aropax ( 20mg - 30mg). Aug 2007: Fluoxetine (for 3 weeks).

Sept 07 - July 12: Lexapro ( 10mg - 20mg). Pooped out July 12. Titrated down off Lexapro over 3 weeks and switched to Paroxetine (with Xanax to cover switch for 2 weeks).

Aug 2012 - Aug 2019: Paroxetine (titrated up to 20mg in first few weeks,, dose reduced to 15mg . for 7 years until it 'pooped out'.

4th Aug 2019 - Reduced dose of paroxetine to 10mg (for 1 day) - under phychiatrists directions. Last dose of paroxetine.

5th Aug 2019 - Switch to 15mg Mirtazapine.

5th Aug - 15th Aug 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine plus intermitent use of Lorazapm (0.25- 0.5 . Also used 12.5mg Quetiapine for 3 nights for sleep.

23rd Aug 2019 - Ended up in crisis team. Mirtazapine increased to 30mg. Diazapam 10mg twice daily.

30th Aug 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 7.5mg twice daily

6th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 5mg twice daily

13th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine increased to 45mg. Diazapam increased back up to 10mg twice daily.

20th Sept - 29th Sept 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. Diazapam being reduced from 10mg down to 0mg this week (in 2mg increments couple of days).

30th Sept - Thursday 3rd Oct 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. WORST ANXIETY EVER. Akathisia. Couldn't stay still. Suicidal idealization.

Friday 4th October - present: Reduced from 45mg to 30mg (straight drop to alleviate akathisia - reduction definitely helped alot but still not gone completely)

 

 

, Vit B6, Curcumin, Magnesium (no adverse effects from adding these supplements - have helped akathisia somewhat).

* Everything done from 23rd August under care of outpatient crisis team management.

 

Untitled document.docx

 

[Wagen]

@cathnz

 

Did your buzzing in head/ears resolve - Ive had in now for two months after stopping amitriptyline. It feels like very load electrical buzzing in my ears and head with intermittent tinnitus sounds in both ears. Im still taking mirtazapine and have horrible sleep problems. Could you please let me please know your experience. Thank you very much!

[cathnz]

23 hours ago, Wagen said:

@cathnz

 

Did your buzzing in head/ears resolve - Ive had in now for two months after stopping amitriptyline. It feels like very load electrical buzzing in my ears and head with intermittent tinnitus sounds in both ears. Im still taking mirtazapine and have horrible sleep problems. Could you please let me please know your experience. Thank you very much!

Hi @wagen, I still experience it coming and going. There is a great book and fb support site called Rock Steady which supports those with tinnitus and vertigo. Look it up, I hope you find it helps x

[Wagen]

On 2/26/2021 at 8:23 PM, cathnz said:

Hi @wagen, I still experience it coming and going. There is a great book and fb support site called Rock Steady which supports those with tinnitus and vertigo. Look it up, I hope you find it helps x

@cathnz I'm glad that it goes sometimes away from you!

 

I checked rock steady but it seems better for people who suffer from mild versions of this - my buzzing is definitely related to the drugs

 

Did you ever have it kind of permanent and then it lessened? I feel very strong head buzzing nonstop for two months now. 

 

I don't know if I should hope that it goes away or try to learn to live with it. 

[cathnz]

@Wagensorry to say nothing has gone completely. I have brief periods where it might be less, but never gone. And still periods where it is as bad as ever (sometime's worse). I'm just learning to live with it. Hence rock steady. 

[Wagen]

15 minutes ago, cathnz said:

@Wagensorry to say nothing has gone completely. I have brief periods where it might be less, but never gone. And still periods where it is as bad as ever (sometime's worse). I'm just learning to live with it. Hence rock steady. 

:((( I'm so sorry you still have it. I guess I will be the same. It feels like my head is a beehive. I don't know how I will live with this. I hate the drugs did this to me :((( 

[cathnz]

9 hours ago, Wagen said:

@cathnz I'm glad that it goes sometimes away from you!

 

I checked rock steady but it seems better for people who suffer from mild versions of this - my buzzing is definitely related to the drugs

 

Did you ever have it kind of permanent and then it lessened? I feel very strong head buzzing nonstop for two months now. 

 

I don't know if I should hope that it goes away or try to learn to live with it. 

 

5 hours ago, Wagen said:

:((( I'm so sorry you still have it. I guess I will be the same. It feels like my head is a beehive. I don't know how I will live with this. I hate the drugs did this to me :((( 

Me too 😔 And maybe it will go, it has for many. But acceptance goes along way while we wait. Somedays it's so hard though, I know 💔

[Longroadhome]

Hi @cathnz

reading through your thread and understand your dilemma to hold or to taper . 
I too started this journey in poop out and have never been without symptoms. 
I held for the first year but no improvement so decided to start to taper . 
For me I felt it was the right decision because I no longer have to torture myself with shall I shan’t I 

and I also feel better when I look at the lower dosage each month . 
 

How did  you know you were in poop out what symptoms did you have ? 

[cathnz]

47 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

Hi @cathnz

reading through your thread and understand your dilemma to hold or to taper . 
I too started this journey in poop out and have never been without symptoms. 
I held for the first year but no improvement so decided to start to taper . 
For me I felt it was the right decision because I no longer have to torture myself with shall I shan’t I 

and I also feel better when I look at the lower dosage each month . 
 

How did  you know you were in poop out what symptoms did you have ? 

 

Oh I was slightly different... I went into poop out on Paxil (re emerging depression and anxiety) they cold switched me to Mirtazapine. So I never tapered off the pooped out drug.

Even though I've felt deathly the last 2 years, I haven't tapered Mirt... I still feel way too unstable. I developed akathisia after the switch and cannot risk making that even worse than it is. 

[Longroadhome]

2 minutes ago, cathnz said:

 

Oh I was slightly different... I went into poop out on Paxil (re emerging depression and anxiety) they cold switched me to Mirtazapine. So I never tapered off the pooped out drug.

Even though I've felt deathly the last 2 years, I haven't tapered Mirt... I still feel way too unstable. I developed akathisia after the switch and cannot risk making that even worse than it is. 

That’s exactly what made me realise I’d gone into poop out with Paxil the re emerging of anxiety snd depression. Though when I look back it was those two symptoms that made me sit up and take  notice but long before then I had symptoms of tinnitus, brain fog,  painful muscles, vertigo etc that I hadn’t put down to Paxil and it no longer working. 
 

Have your symptoms got any better since holding  ? Do you have windows and waves or mainly waves? 
 

it's a very long journey isn’t it and rather a scary one too! 
 

I started on Paxil because of anxiety and depression many years ago and it does concern me that I’ll be left with them once withdrawal has gone but I figure I will probably be able to cope having gone through this !! 
 

Sorry about your mum it is so very sad to witness the decline.  My dad had dementia for many years before he passed away through an unrelated condition. I loved him very much. 

[Erell]

Hello @cathnz

 

I just saw your post on my thread : thank you for your support. 

And yes, I do really understand your dilemma in the case of a switch.

Im really sorry to read that you're still struggling and send you big hugs and my support.

 

I see you're holding everything steady since October 2019 : have you seen some improvements ?

 

I understand very well the anxiety about tapering while feeling unstable, really.

Instead of a 10% drop, how do you feel about a 1% drop to see how it goes ?

 

I don't know if it might help you : I like to read the wiseness of Ten0275 and the story of his taper.

He tapered Mirtazapine while being in benzo withdrawal,  it might give you hope and inspiration  :

 

☼-ten0275-im-dave-and-im-almost-there/

 

 

And he wrote a great Success story :

 

ten0275-im-dave-and-if-i-am-capable-of-healing-each-of-you-are-please-hang-in-there/

 

 

☀️

[cathnz]

10 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

That’s exactly what made me realise I’d gone into poop out with Paxil the re emerging of anxiety snd depression. Though when I look back it was those two symptoms that made me sit up and take  notice but long before then I had symptoms of tinnitus, brain fog,  painful muscles, vertigo etc that I hadn’t put down to Paxil and it no longer working. 
 

Have your symptoms got any better since holding  ? Do you have windows and waves or mainly waves? 
 

it's a very long journey isn’t it and rather a scary one too! 
 

I started on Paxil because of anxiety and depression many years ago and it does concern me that I’ll be left with them once withdrawal has gone but I figure I will probably be able to cope having gone through this !! 
 

Sorry about your mum it is so very sad to witness the decline.  My dad had dementia for many years before he passed away through an unrelated condition. I loved him very much. 

@Longroadhome Yes I have that same fear of life without my AD safety net. I was not good before I ever started on them. They 'saved me' for a very long time. So it's hard to change ingrained thinking. Esp facing mums dementia being like this. I'm so sorry you experienced the same with your father. It's very very painful isn't it. I often wonder how I'll survive this double blow. I'm very fearful that this will be what finally breaks me. My anxiety often leada me to places of thinking I'll hospitalised and psychotic (and forced in new drugs) as mum gets worse or she passes. It scares me a great deal. I often think 'what's the point in tapering... when tragedy happens it will all come undone when I have to reinstate and all the hell of tapering will be for nothing. I say this because as much as I hate this poison now and my resolve is strong right now (I have rejected several attempts by the crisis team to 'fix this' by augmenting or changing meds), when we had a scare with my mum a few weeks back where she collapsed infront of me and I thought she'd died, my already unsteady ground crumbled underneath me and all I wanted to do was for someone to give me a pill to numb all the pain and terror away. My reaction scared me as it went against how I usually feel. That even continued on after I knew she was ok. Instead I took so many doses of rescue remedy that I broke out in a rash!!! 

 

Do I have Windows... I'm not sure? I certainly had a period over summer where it was easier to cope. Symptoms still there but not as forceful. Never gone completely I don't think? . I do have occasional hours where I realise there is no buzzing inside me, but it always comes back. Often though when one thing takes the back seat, something else replaces it (eg if the aka dies down a bit, tinnitus usually starts). But there are definitely easier days than others. What I have noticed is stress makes everything so much worse. And it's impossible to avoid with a mum with dementia and a teenage son with anxiety!!! 

 

The reason I'm scared to begin Mirtazapine taper is because of those ok days. I am blessed to still be able to sleep well. A good 8 hours usually. Yes it's drug induced, and I know at some stage this poison will turn paradoxal on me too. But for now, the sleep is the one thing keeping me somewhat sane. I can't give that up yet. And I read constantly what a beast Mirt is to get off esp effecting sleep. But I wake every morning to that same pit of dread inside, depressed and terrified how I'll hold myself together for another day without taking everyone down in my emotional disregulation 😭

 

Enough about me, how are you doing? Did you begin your taper before or after your dad's passing? What got you through? 

[cathnz]

10 hours ago, Erell said:

Hello @cathnz

 

I just saw your post on my thread : thank you for your support. 

And yes, I do really understand your dilemma in the case of a switch.

Im really sorry to read that you're still struggling and send you big hugs and my support.

 

I see you're holding everything steady since October 2019 : have you seen some improvements ?

 

I understand very well the anxiety about tapering while feeling unstable, really.

Instead of a 10% drop, how do you feel about a 1% drop to see how it goes ?

 

I don't know if it might help you : I like to read the wiseness of Ten0275 and the story of his taper.

He tapered Mirtazapine while being in benzo withdrawal,  it might give you hope and inspiration  :

 

☼-ten0275-im-dave-and-im-almost-there/

 

 

And he wrote a great Success story :

 

ten0275-im-dave-and-if-i-am-capable-of-healing-each-of-you-are-please-hang-in-there/

 

 

☀️

@Erell thank you for your post. You're amazing still supporting others when you feel so awful yourself. I'll read that story.

 

Do I have Windows... I'm not sure? I certainly had a period over summer where it was easier to cope. Symptoms still there but not as forceful. Never gone completely I don't think? . I do have occasional hours where I realise there is no buzzing inside me, but it always comes back. Often though when one thing takes the back seat, something else replaces it (eg if the aka dies down a bit, tinnitus usually starts). But there are definitely easier days than others. What I have noticed is stress makes everything so much worse. And it's impossible to avoid with a mum with dementia and a teenage son with anxiety!!! 

 

The reason I'm scared to begin Mirtazapine taper is because of those ok days. And I am still blessed to still be able to sleep well. A good 8 hours usually. Yes it's drug induced, and I know at some stage this poison will turn paradoxal on me too. But for now, the sleep is the one thing keeping me somewhat sane. I can't give that up yet. And I read constantly what a beast Mirt is to get off esp effecting sleep. But I wake every morning to that same pit of dread inside, depressed and terrified how I'll hold myself together for another day without taking everyone down in my emotional disregulation 😭

 

And yes, I plan to just start at 1% when I do take the leap to taper. But as I said to Longroadhome in n my post above, I am scared that when tragedy eventually comes with my mum, that I will be desperate and updose, meaning all that tapering will have been for nothing and I'll be kindled. I don't trust myself enough to get through her decline and eventual passing without a knee jerk reaction of reaching for meds to hold me together. I wish I could find stories of those that have survived loss and grief while tapering (or after taper) and haven't panicked and grabbed for meds in desperation. I need to see if can be done. I'm already so mentally low, I just can't imagine going any lower 😢

 

I hope today is a better day for you Erell. You really are a true warrior... keep fighting! 

 

Xx

[Longroadhome]

On 4/25/2021 at 8:18 PM, cathnz said:

@Longroadhome Yes I have that same fear of life without my AD safety net. I was not good before I ever started on them. They 'saved me' for a very long time. So it's hard to change ingrained thinking. Esp facing mums dementia being like this. I'm so sorry you experienced the same with your father. It's very very painful isn't it. I often wonder how I'll survive this double blow. I'm very fearful that this will be what finally breaks me. My anxiety often leada me to places of thinking I'll hospitalised and psychotic (and forced in new drugs) as mum gets worse or she passes. It scares me a great deal. I often think 'what's the point in tapering... when tragedy happens it will all come undone when I have to reinstate and all the hell of tapering will be for nothing. I say this because as much as I hate this poison now and my resolve is strong right now (I have rejected several attempts by the crisis team to 'fix this' by augmenting or changing meds), when we had a scare with my mum a few weeks back where she collapsed infront of me and I thought she'd died, my already unsteady ground crumbled underneath me and all I wanted to do was for someone to give me a pill to numb all the pain and terror away. My reaction scared me as it went against how I usually feel. That even continued on after I knew she was ok. Instead I took so many doses of rescue remedy that I broke out in a rash!!! 

 

Do I have Windows... I'm not sure? I certainly had a period over summer where it was easier to cope. Symptoms still there but not as forceful. Never gone completely I don't think? . I do have occasional hours where I realise there is no buzzing inside me, but it always comes back. Often though when one thing takes the back seat, something else replaces it (eg if the aka dies down a bit, tinnitus usually starts). But there are definitely easier days than others. What I have noticed is stress makes everything so much worse. And it's impossible to avoid with a mum with dementia and a teenage son with anxiety!!! 

 

The reason I'm scared to begin Mirtazapine taper is because of those ok days. I am blessed to still be able to sleep well. A good 8 hours usually. Yes it's drug induced, and I know at some stage this poison will turn paradoxal on me too. But for now, the sleep is the one thing keeping me somewhat sane. I can't give that up yet. And I read constantly what a beast Mirt is to get off esp effecting sleep. But I wake every morning to that same pit of dread inside, depressed and terrified how I'll hold myself together for another day without taking everyone down in my emotional disregulation 😭

 

Enough about me, how are you doing? Did you begin your taper before or after your dad's passing? What got you through? 

I began my taper after dads passing fortunately though during his last illness I was in poop out without me knowing . Mum passed away 10 months after dad and I was tapering and in severe poop out then with lots of symptoms. But I managed to cope through this.   I have also split with my partner a year ago and now in the process of moving house and although this has made my anxiety much worse I’m coping with it.

distracting myself is what gets me through each day. Some days I can’t do this because of ruminating “What if I’m stuck like this forever ?” And such like. But then the next day will be much more manageable and so it goes on ..

like you I have better days but never without symptoms.
I just take one day at a time and try not to let a bad day throw me into a panic.   

[cathnz]

7 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

I began my taper after dads passing fortunately though during his last illness I was in poop out without me knowing . Mum passed away 10 months after dad and I was tapering and in severe poop out then with lots of symptoms. But I managed to cope through this.   I have also split with my partner a year ago and now in the process of moving house and although this has made my anxiety much worse I’m coping with it.

distracting myself is what gets me through each day. Some days I can’t do this because of ruminating “What if I’m stuck like this forever ?” And such like. But then the next day will be much more manageable and so it goes on ..

like you I have better days but never without symptoms.
I just take one day at a time and try not to let a bad day throw me into a panic.   

@Longroadhomethank you for your reply. You have definitely moved through some grief. I'm sorry. It brings me some relief knowing you have coped. I don't feel completely screwed!

 

You also sound very wise and pragmatic. You'll come out of this ok xx

 

 

[Rosetta]

Sorry you are feeling so bad.  - Rosetta

[Rosetta]

How are you doing?

[cathnz]

4 hours ago, Rosetta said:

How are you doing?

Hi @Rosetta, thanks for checking in. I just read your post and was so excited for you to have had an afternoon nap! Boy do I miss those days!

 

I'm hanging in there. In the last month I took on working more hours. I'm regretting that so much... I'm not the capable person I once was and now spend my day in constant overwhelm. My nights are spent trying to soothe my nervous system. I don't think I will be able to keep this up. But I'm at least making a better effort to practise self care outside of working hours.

 

Thanks for checking in. I'm so heartened to hear you are doing better these past days. I hope it continues to improve xx

[Rosetta]

Oh, I’m sorry that’s happening with you.  Perhaps you can go back to part time.  Thank you for your well wishes.  I’m doing all right at the moment.

[Longroadhome]

@cathnz

Hi there how are you doing and did you decrease your hours at work  ? 
I’m holding for a while  now because of the pending house move and all the stress associated with that. 
There’s been a glitch and I’m expecting a few months hold up before I move into the new home . As yet don’t know how this will effect my tapering . 
but in any case I find after 5 decreases my body starts to complain with symptoms ramping up and then it’s time for a hold anyway. 

What a journey .... you couldn’t make it up 

 

What are your symptoms Cathnz and how do you manage them ? 
 

take care 

[Rosetta]

Regarding the fact that your manufacturer will change: How many months of supply are you able to get at one time?  How much do you have right now?  Any chance your doctor will let you have extra?  The best thing to do is slowly switch over by adding a little of the new formula and taking away a little of the old at first.  Then, change the ratio again allowing more of the new, etc.  Eventually, you will be switched over by gradually increasing the ratio of new to old.

[Erell]

Hello @cathnz, How are you doing ?

[cathnz]

9 hours ago, Erell said:

Hello @cathnz, How are you doing ?

Hi @Erell, thanks for checking in. I'm pretty much the same as one been the last couple of years 😢 Some days are slightly less terrible than others. I haven't done anything with my Mirtazapine dose, even though I feel like it's poisoning me. I've been frozen in fear. Dealing with the grief of my mums alzheimer's has left me pretty rock bottom and I can't face a taper. So I'm doing what I can to keep my head above water!

How are you doing? 

[Erell]

Hello @cathnz, 

I empathize, I understand the situation after a susbtitution that didn't work. ❤️
I'm holding too, I would like to have a stable state before starting to taper again, or at least get a little better.
Honestly, I admire your tenacity, holding for two years is a huge work. If you plan to taper one day, how long do you plan to hold ?
 

I'm really sorry about the situation with your mom, dealing with life's difficulties during WD can be a huge stress.
Do you have some help ?

I send you my support and my best wishes ☀️

 

[cathnz]

Hi everyone, I'm after some advice. As per my earlier messages, I began to suffer from akathisia nearly 3 years ago after a med switch. I have held my medication and dose since then trying to stabilise. For the most part the akathisia has been there constantly, although some periods to a much much lesser extent. I don't know if it just died down or if I was so involved and distracted with other things that I didn't get swallowed by it. But stress always seems to trigger it to intensify. But lately it seems to have got worse (have been under a lot of stress). I'm so so confused if it's from the Mirtazapine I'm on, or whether it could still be withdrawal from the med switch (and benzo use for 6 weeks) back in 2019. Here I am almost 3 years later still not knowing what action to take. Do you think if it was caused by the Mirtazapine that I've been on for 3 years that it would have had periods of being less, or do you think that indicates it might be wd? Or am I being stupid... is the reason it's got so bad because the Mirt is becoming toxic to me? But why would it die down and flare up? I'm so very very very confused. Does anyone have any wisdom to share?