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Chronic illness and pharmaceutical injury…what is it?


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This is my experience after what, at this point, amounts to thousands of hours of mindful presence with the chaos in my body. One learns when on focuses attention. One learns a whole lot. That is meditation. Focused attention.


So, my experience of chronic illness:

Chronic illness is the body saying no to the toxic societal structures that we have internalized…healing from chronic illness is healing the whole human shebang.

~~ To be clear healing does not mean curing. There is no cure to this being human. ~~

This is also not to suggest that there are not real physical correlates to these societal structures. Pharmaceutical injury is a violent intrusion of societal structure into the brains and nervous systems of people who are sensitive. The structure becomes a real mirror of destruction within the body.

Detox is the breaking down of these internalized societal structures. They can become extremely complex if there’s a lot of microorganisms and heavy metals as well as neurotoxic substances involved…the pharmaceuticals set up opportunities for multiple infections, in fact.

People sometimes appear possessed because, frankly, they are. Microorganisms can profoundly affect our consciousness. (our microbiome…our gut…the balance of microorganisms matter…healing, from this perspective, is in some sense is about internal ecosystem management).

Detox can take the form of energetic, psychological, emotional and physical detox processes. Some folks need to concentrate on one more than others — other people need to focus on just about everything in their life to bring it into balance especially if we’ve been chronically ill.

My body had to construct alternative detoxification routes because of the damage that happened to the brain. This level of interoception is a bit much at times, I’d rather not have this capacity quite often. It restructured pathways  — while I followed it’s lead (direction) with all my healing practices. It totally needed my active, focused, conscious cooperation. I did that by learning to listen to my body and shutting out what society (and pretty much everyone else) said. It was critical to do that for me.

We equate health with peak physical condition ignoring the fact that a person can have a perfect body yet a fragmented being, or conversely a sense of wholeness within what might appear to be a broken body. The real barometer of health is spiritual rather than physical.

Healing/transformation is not always a graceful process. Sometimes it’s exceedingly ungraceful/unskillful. In fact we bump up against every edge and frequently look the idiot if we’re actually doing the work.

Healing is about accepting and being completely who we are with whatever limitations we have. Sensing wholeness, even with a broken body because nature always holds us in wholeness. When we listen we learn flow in whatever condition we find ourselves in.

The times when we say we feel most alive are when we feel most deeply connected to life itself — not our own life, but life in its totality. We are always that.


first posted here: https://beyondmeds.com/2019/10/25/chronic-illness-and-pharmaceutical-injury-what-is-it/

Much more on chronic illness here

Much more on protracted psych drug withdrawal syndrome here

Much more on meditation here




Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 


withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

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21 hours ago, GiaK said:

Healing is about accepting and being completely who we are with whatever limitations we have. Sensing wholeness, even with a broken body because nature always holds us in wholeness.


sheer poetry ❤️

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"


off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years


highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 


I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 


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