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Mental akathisia / mental anguish


Kornyboyo1917

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Kornyboyo1917

Hello, 

 

I am looking for others who might be experiencing some of these symptoms.  There is no quiet in my brain.  I have racing thoughts/ruminations, earworms (things I have read/watch repeats in my head along with songs and phrases), intrusive thoughts/memories and hyperawareness of all my thoughts and inner voice/dialogue.  Brain mimicking sounds.

 

I feel very trapped in my head all the time.

 

Please comment if you can relate.  

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11 minutes ago, Kornyboyo1917 said:

Hello, 

 

I am looking for others who might be experiencing some of these symptoms.  There is no quiet in my brain.  I have racing thoughts/ruminations, earworms (things I have read/watch repeats in my head along with songs and phrases), intrusive thoughts/memories and hyperawareness of all my thoughts and inner voice/dialogue.  Brain mimicking sounds.

 

I feel very trapped in my head all the time.

 

Please comment if you can relate.  

I have this!

April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg

April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks

Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg on advice of psychiatrist

Stopped 8 days later bad reaction

November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. 

November 8 2020 - went up to 1mg. 

November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram.  

December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17

December 18 and 19 2020 - 1.75mg citalopram.

December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again 

Current: ativan 0.25mg in morning and at supper. 0.50mg before bed. Holding.

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12 minutes ago, Kornyboyo1917 said:

Hello, 

 

I am looking for others who might be experiencing some of these symptoms.  There is no quiet in my brain.  I have racing thoughts/ruminations, earworms (things I have read/watch repeats in my head along with songs and phrases), intrusive thoughts/memories and hyperawareness of all my thoughts and inner voice/dialogue.  Brain mimicking sounds.

 

I feel very trapped in my head all the time.

 

Please comment if you can relate.  

I've had sensorimotor OCD where I cant stop noticing my breathing or blinking.

 

CONSTANT intrusive thoughts and images. My mind always 'turns in' on itself and is never in the moment.

 

Constant mental chatter.

 

Like I HAVE to pay attention to every thought and have no other choice. I have to think of everything and every scenario and every option. I cant miss anything or I'll be in trouble. I have hyperawareness of a large radius around me.

 

I miss my pre med brain.

 

 

April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg

April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks

Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg on advice of psychiatrist

Stopped 8 days later bad reaction

November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. 

November 8 2020 - went up to 1mg. 

November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram.  

December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17

December 18 and 19 2020 - 1.75mg citalopram.

December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again 

Current: ativan 0.25mg in morning and at supper. 0.50mg before bed. Holding.

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i am mostly recovered but yes I had these issues.

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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Kornyboyo1917

Daisygirlsk - I have the same thing with the breathing/blinking.  It always switches themes.  I can't externalize or be in the present moment ever.  When i look in the mirror i see myself thinking and I have constant negative chatter.  Feels like someone else is thinking for me.  I hope you find some relief soon!

 

UnfoldingSky - It's nice to hear of someone who has these issues and made it through.

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2 minutes ago, Kornyboyo1917 said:

Daisygirlsk - I have the same thing with the breathing/blinking.  It always switches themes.  I can't externalize or be in the present moment ever.  When i look in the mirror i see myself thinking and I have constant negative chatter.  Feels like someone else is thinking for me.  I hope you find some relief soon!

 

UnfoldingSky - It's nice to hear of someone who has these issues and made it through.

 

I have exactly the same symptoms. When the drug first started pooping out my first symptom was sensorimotor obsessions. Now that I am off the drug my mind is never still. As soon as I wake up I look forward to bed again so I dont have to think of all the thoughts...

April 2011 - citalopram 20 mg

April 2018 - tapered in 4 weeks

Nov 2018 - reinstated 20 mg on advice of psychiatrist

Stopped 8 days later bad reaction

November 5 2020 - reinstated citalopram 0.5mg. 

November 8 2020 - went up to 1mg. 

November 10 2020 - stopped citalopram.  

December 8 2020 - reinstate 2.5mg citalopram. Stayed on until December 17

December 18 and 19 2020 - 1.75mg citalopram.

December 20 2020 - discontinue citalopram again 

Current: ativan 0.25mg in morning and at supper. 0.50mg before bed. Holding.

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Cloudskishawna

Yes I have those symptoms to I'm off mirtazapine for a month I've been mediating and that gives me a little peace and going for walks help a little bit and playing video games 

Also check out claire weekes method it help sometimes I'm still trying my best to fully accept and surrender but it so hard 

Mirtazapine August 10 2019 - Sept 26 2019

Lexapro August 27 2019- August 28 2019 

Trazodone  July 29 2019 - July 31 2019

Didnt like neither of them 

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  • 2 months later...

I've noticed that the fear and terror are much, much worse when the physical akathisia symptoms break through to the point where I'm constantly shaking my leg up and down and other type of agitated-state movements.  Is the fear and terror part of mental akathisia and do others have this concomitant with the physical form of akathisia?  I don't have the issue with repeating songs in my head and other symptoms as the original poster described.  It's the terror and fear that plague me the most along with the physical, sick feeling in the stomach resulting from profound existential dread and doom. 

 

These symptoms have caused complete personality disintegration and an inability to relate to anyone so that I have to remain isolated and housebound.  I can get out only for medial appointments and food.  I've had this since starting Cymbalta in 2016 and it gets worse the longer I taper.  I think if I could get off the drug, the akathisia would remit.  But, since the symptoms are so bad I can't go fast meaning that I'm stuck on the poison indefinitely.  The drug causes the akathisia and tapering it makes it even worse.  It's truly an impossible situation.  I've managed to get down to 5.2 mg/27 beads but am reconsidering a Prozac bridge since the akathisia is becoming unbearable and has been going on for 3.5 years with no end in sight. 

 

2016-Aug-Prescribed 2 mg Ativan & 10 mg Ambien; Oct-c/o from 20 mg Lexapro to 60 mg Cymbalta; Nov-Dec-Tapered off 10 mg Ambien    

2017-Jan-Feb c/o from 1.75 mg Ativan to 13 mg Valium & begin daily liquid micro taper; May-taper Cymbalta 60 mg to 48 mg with severe withdrawals.  Begin 11 month Cymbalta hold.

2018-Jan 11 completed Valium taper; Apr-Resume Cymbalta taper.  Interval dose progress: Apr 43 mg; May 40 mg; Jul 35 mg; Sep 29 mg; Dec 21 mg; 

2019- Apr 14 mg; Jun 11 mg; Aug 9 mg; Oct 7 mg; Nov 6 mg

2020-Jan 5.2 mg; Feb 4.8 mg; Mar 4.3 mg; Apr 3.9 mg; May 3.5 mg; Jun 3.3 mg; Jul 2.9 mg; Aug 2.7 mg; 28 Sep 2.4 mg/12 beads; 25 Oct 2.2 mg/11 beads; 22 Nov 2.0 mg/10 beads; 20 Dec 1.8 mg/9 beads

2021- 17 Jan 1.6 mg/8 beads 

 

 

 

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I've been looking for other' insight on this for ages.  In my head, I have a sort of physical edge (pressure and pins and needles) which is 24/7 and prevents sleep. When I wake up, the same phenomenon prevents communication,  relaxation, enjoyment etc. A sort of combo of mental akathasia and anhedonia. Can anyone else relate to this?

 

Thanks

 

 

 

Cymbalta 2007

Lyrica 2010

Venlafaxine 2010-2018

Amitriptyline October 2018-2019. (25, 50, 75, 100, 75, 50, 25)

CT 10 Sept 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 5 mg 29 Oct 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 2.5mg 19 Nov 2019

CT 24  Nov 2019

Vitamin D 16 Dec and Promethazine 25mg 16 Dec (one month only)

 

 

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Yes! I have this. Im almost 24 months into this and i struggle with this so bad. the constant relentless ruminating suicidal intrusive thoughts. Or just constant negative thoughts its exhausting. My worst symptom since the beginning.  I am definitely better but sitll very tough 

13 months on 25 mg of sertraline.

Fast taper in march 2018, reinstated 12.5mg

Cold turkey sertraline april 17,2018

Zyprexa 5mg april 17,2018

Zyprexa taper to lamictal May 4-13 (life threatening rash)

Back on zyprexa 5mg for 10days & tapered over 5 weeks.

21 months off sertraline 

19 months off zyprexa

22 months into withdrawl 

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8 hours ago, Elyssa143 said:

Yes! I have this. Im almost 24 months into this and i struggle with this so bad. the constant relentless ruminating suicidal intrusive thoughts. Or just constant negative thoughts its exhausting. My worst symptom since the beginning.  I am definitely better but sitll very tough 

I have this constant pressure, pins and needles type feeling in my head. It prevents sleep and all the other feelings described. Life is utterly unbearable now. Probably going to have to reinstate after CT for five months.d. It prevents sleep and all the other feelings described. Life is utterly unbearable now. Probably going to have to reinstate after CT for five months.

 

Cymbalta 2007

Lyrica 2010

Venlafaxine 2010-2018

Amitriptyline October 2018-2019. (25, 50, 75, 100, 75, 50, 25)

CT 10 Sept 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 5 mg 29 Oct 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 2.5mg 19 Nov 2019

CT 24  Nov 2019

Vitamin D 16 Dec and Promethazine 25mg 16 Dec (one month only)

 

 

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I'm so sorry, Snorky, that you are in such a horrible place.  The sad thing is that reinstating will probably not help and may very well make your present situation even worse as hard as it is to imagine that.  We all seem to think that these drugs will somehow help us when in fact they do nothing but wreak havoc and terror.  The only way to eventually get better is to get off the drugs and stay off, regardless of how difficult it is.  That is the hard truth.  I'm so very sorry as I've been in your position and so understand how you feel.  I reinstated and am well worse as a result and have added years and years to my recovery because I did so.  

 

2016-Aug-Prescribed 2 mg Ativan & 10 mg Ambien; Oct-c/o from 20 mg Lexapro to 60 mg Cymbalta; Nov-Dec-Tapered off 10 mg Ambien    

2017-Jan-Feb c/o from 1.75 mg Ativan to 13 mg Valium & begin daily liquid micro taper; May-taper Cymbalta 60 mg to 48 mg with severe withdrawals.  Begin 11 month Cymbalta hold.

2018-Jan 11 completed Valium taper; Apr-Resume Cymbalta taper.  Interval dose progress: Apr 43 mg; May 40 mg; Jul 35 mg; Sep 29 mg; Dec 21 mg; 

2019- Apr 14 mg; Jun 11 mg; Aug 9 mg; Oct 7 mg; Nov 6 mg

2020-Jan 5.2 mg; Feb 4.8 mg; Mar 4.3 mg; Apr 3.9 mg; May 3.5 mg; Jun 3.3 mg; Jul 2.9 mg; Aug 2.7 mg; 28 Sep 2.4 mg/12 beads; 25 Oct 2.2 mg/11 beads; 22 Nov 2.0 mg/10 beads; 20 Dec 1.8 mg/9 beads

2021- 17 Jan 1.6 mg/8 beads 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, gardenlady said:

I'm so sorry, Snorky, that you are in such a horrible place.  The sad thing is that reinstating will probably not help and may very well make your present situation even worse as hard as it is to imagine that.  We all seem to think that these drugs will somehow help us when in fact they do nothing but wreak havoc and terror.  The only way to eventually get better is to get off the drugs and stay off, regardless of how difficult it is.  That is the hard truth.  I'm so very sorry as I've been in your position and so understand how you feel.  I reinstated and am well worse as a result and have added years and years to my recovery because I did so.  

Thank you for your kind thoughts. There is an inherent contradiction in all this. Ie on the one hand, stay off the toxic ADs at all costs, fight the good fight, despite the symptoms etc. On the other folk admitting that they had to reinstate as symptoms unbearable. 

 

Cymbalta 2007

Lyrica 2010

Venlafaxine 2010-2018

Amitriptyline October 2018-2019. (25, 50, 75, 100, 75, 50, 25)

CT 10 Sept 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 5 mg 29 Oct 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 2.5mg 19 Nov 2019

CT 24  Nov 2019

Vitamin D 16 Dec and Promethazine 25mg 16 Dec (one month only)

 

 

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16 hours ago, Snorky said:

Thank you for your kind thoughts. There is an inherent contradiction in all this. Ie on the one hand, stay off the toxic ADs at all costs, fight the good fight, despite the symptoms etc. On the other folk admitting that they had to reinstate as symptoms unbearable. 

Reinstating is a fantasy and it appears that most who do it are worse off than before, unless it's a minuscule amount.  We THINK that reinstatement will help an unbearable situation become bearable, but because it's a fantasy, it doesn't and usually only makes things worse.  Of course there are exceptions as there is no absolute in any of this because the drugs affect each person differently.  But, reinstatement appears to be a colossal failure most of the time unless it's a minuscule amount. 

 

2016-Aug-Prescribed 2 mg Ativan & 10 mg Ambien; Oct-c/o from 20 mg Lexapro to 60 mg Cymbalta; Nov-Dec-Tapered off 10 mg Ambien    

2017-Jan-Feb c/o from 1.75 mg Ativan to 13 mg Valium & begin daily liquid micro taper; May-taper Cymbalta 60 mg to 48 mg with severe withdrawals.  Begin 11 month Cymbalta hold.

2018-Jan 11 completed Valium taper; Apr-Resume Cymbalta taper.  Interval dose progress: Apr 43 mg; May 40 mg; Jul 35 mg; Sep 29 mg; Dec 21 mg; 

2019- Apr 14 mg; Jun 11 mg; Aug 9 mg; Oct 7 mg; Nov 6 mg

2020-Jan 5.2 mg; Feb 4.8 mg; Mar 4.3 mg; Apr 3.9 mg; May 3.5 mg; Jun 3.3 mg; Jul 2.9 mg; Aug 2.7 mg; 28 Sep 2.4 mg/12 beads; 25 Oct 2.2 mg/11 beads; 22 Nov 2.0 mg/10 beads; 20 Dec 1.8 mg/9 beads

2021- 17 Jan 1.6 mg/8 beads 

 

 

 

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  • 4 months later...

Hi, I've just been looking through this section of s.a and found this post stood out to me. I know I'm making a late reply to most of you but much of what you were saying Rings Bells with what happened to me in Effexor withdrawal. 

Gussy

On effexor for at least 11 years. Last few years going through ivf treatment dose has ranged from 150-200mg. Mainly 150 though. Tapered from about 175mg mid jan 2017 to zero mid april 2017. 2&1/2 months of straight hell. Getting there now though.

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Kornyboyo1917
12 hours ago, Gussy said:

Hi, I've just been looking through this section of s.a and found this post stood out to me. I know I'm making a late reply to most of you but much of what you were saying Rings Bells with what happened to me in Effexor withdrawal. 

 

I'm sorry this happened to you too. Are you any better now? 

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11 hours ago, Kornyboyo1917 said:

 

I'm sorry this happened to you too. Are you any better now? 

Thanks for your reply and thanks for asking too. Yes things are much improved. I know what happened to me isn.t a worst case scenario but what happened shook me to the core. Even thinking about how to describe it has me holding back tears, thinking about how bad I thought it was. It mightn.t compare to the people I call the suffering elite but it was bad enough for me. But none the less things are much improved. I hope you are well?

Gussy

On effexor for at least 11 years. Last few years going through ivf treatment dose has ranged from 150-200mg. Mainly 150 though. Tapered from about 175mg mid jan 2017 to zero mid april 2017. 2&1/2 months of straight hell. Getting there now though.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Mental akathisia / mental anguish
  • 3 months later...

very. much. so. hell on earth 24/7 yes. everything i read during this. everything said to me. everything done to me. repeats. no real life

2020, October the 2nd

(in this members words)

Off the offending meds now for 1.5 years

Zoloft, Lexapro, then a whole ton of drugs i was destroyed by in hospitals

 

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