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Kornyboyo1917

Mental Akathisia/Mentla Anguish

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Kornyboyo1917

Hello, 

 

I am looking for others who might be experiencing some of these symptoms.  There is no quiet in my brain.  I have racing thoughts/ruminations, earworms (things I have read/watch repeats in my head along with songs and phrases), intrusive thoughts/memories and hyperawareness of all my thoughts and inner voice/dialogue.  Brain mimicking sounds.

 

I feel very trapped in my head all the time.

 

Please comment if you can relate.  

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Daisygirlsk
11 minutes ago, Kornyboyo1917 said:

Hello, 

 

I am looking for others who might be experiencing some of these symptoms.  There is no quiet in my brain.  I have racing thoughts/ruminations, earworms (things I have read/watch repeats in my head along with songs and phrases), intrusive thoughts/memories and hyperawareness of all my thoughts and inner voice/dialogue.  Brain mimicking sounds.

 

I feel very trapped in my head all the time.

 

Please comment if you can relate.  

I have this!

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Daisygirlsk
12 minutes ago, Kornyboyo1917 said:

Hello, 

 

I am looking for others who might be experiencing some of these symptoms.  There is no quiet in my brain.  I have racing thoughts/ruminations, earworms (things I have read/watch repeats in my head along with songs and phrases), intrusive thoughts/memories and hyperawareness of all my thoughts and inner voice/dialogue.  Brain mimicking sounds.

 

I feel very trapped in my head all the time.

 

Please comment if you can relate.  

I've had sensorimotor OCD where I cant stop noticing my breathing or blinking.

 

CONSTANT intrusive thoughts and images. My mind always 'turns in' on itself and is never in the moment.

 

Constant mental chatter.

 

Like I HAVE to pay attention to every thought and have no other choice. I have to think of everything and every scenario and every option. I cant miss anything or I'll be in trouble. I have hyperawareness of a large radius around me.

 

I miss my pre med brain.

 

 

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UnfoldingSky

i am mostly recovered but yes I had these issues.

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Kornyboyo1917

Daisygirlsk - I have the same thing with the breathing/blinking.  It always switches themes.  I can't externalize or be in the present moment ever.  When i look in the mirror i see myself thinking and I have constant negative chatter.  Feels like someone else is thinking for me.  I hope you find some relief soon!

 

UnfoldingSky - It's nice to hear of someone who has these issues and made it through.

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Daisygirlsk
2 minutes ago, Kornyboyo1917 said:

Daisygirlsk - I have the same thing with the breathing/blinking.  It always switches themes.  I can't externalize or be in the present moment ever.  When i look in the mirror i see myself thinking and I have constant negative chatter.  Feels like someone else is thinking for me.  I hope you find some relief soon!

 

UnfoldingSky - It's nice to hear of someone who has these issues and made it through.

 

I have exactly the same symptoms. When the drug first started pooping out my first symptom was sensorimotor obsessions. Now that I am off the drug my mind is never still. As soon as I wake up I look forward to bed again so I dont have to think of all the thoughts...

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Kornyboyo1917

I send you a PM.  Most of my symptoms are from benzo withdrawal.  I'm still on remeron. 

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Cloudskishawna

Yes I have those symptoms to I'm off mirtazapine for a month I've been mediating and that gives me a little peace and going for walks help a little bit and playing video games 

Also check out claire weekes method it help sometimes I'm still trying my best to fully accept and surrender but it so hard 

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gardenlady

I've noticed that the fear and terror are much, much worse when the physical akathisia symptoms break through to the point where I'm constantly shaking my leg up and down and other type of agitated-state movements.  Is the fear and terror part of mental akathisia and do others have this concomitant with the physical form of akathisia?  I don't have the issue with repeating songs in my head and other symptoms as the original poster described.  It's the terror and fear that plague me the most along with the physical, sick feeling in the stomach resulting from profound existential dread and doom. 

 

These symptoms have caused complete personality disintegration and an inability to relate to anyone so that I have to remain isolated and housebound.  I can get out only for medial appointments and food.  I've had this since starting Cymbalta in 2016 and it gets worse the longer I taper.  I think if I could get off the drug, the akathisia would remit.  But, since the symptoms are so bad I can't go fast meaning that I'm stuck on the poison indefinitely.  The drug causes the akathisia and tapering it makes it even worse.  It's truly an impossible situation.  I've managed to get down to 5.2 mg/27 beads but am reconsidering a Prozac bridge since the akathisia is becoming unbearable and has been going on for 3.5 years with no end in sight. 

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Snorky

I've been looking for other' insight on this for ages.  In my head, I have a sort of physical edge (pressure and pins and needles) which is 24/7 and prevents sleep. When I wake up, the same phenomenon prevents communication,  relaxation, enjoyment etc. A sort of combo of mental akathasia and anhedonia. Can anyone else relate to this?

 

Thanks

 

 

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Elyssa143

Yes! I have this. Im almost 24 months into this and i struggle with this so bad. the constant relentless ruminating suicidal intrusive thoughts. Or just constant negative thoughts its exhausting. My worst symptom since the beginning.  I am definitely better but sitll very tough 

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Snorky
8 hours ago, Elyssa143 said:

Yes! I have this. Im almost 24 months into this and i struggle with this so bad. the constant relentless ruminating suicidal intrusive thoughts. Or just constant negative thoughts its exhausting. My worst symptom since the beginning.  I am definitely better but sitll very tough 

I have this constant pressure, pins and needles type feeling in my head. It prevents sleep and all the other feelings described. Life is utterly unbearable now. Probably going to have to reinstate after CT for five months.d. It prevents sleep and all the other feelings described. Life is utterly unbearable now. Probably going to have to reinstate after CT for five months.

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gardenlady

I'm so sorry, Snorky, that you are in such a horrible place.  The sad thing is that reinstating will probably not help and may very well make your present situation even worse as hard as it is to imagine that.  We all seem to think that these drugs will somehow help us when in fact they do nothing but wreak havoc and terror.  The only way to eventually get better is to get off the drugs and stay off, regardless of how difficult it is.  That is the hard truth.  I'm so very sorry as I've been in your position and so understand how you feel.  I reinstated and am well worse as a result and have added years and years to my recovery because I did so.  

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Snorky
4 hours ago, gardenlady said:

I'm so sorry, Snorky, that you are in such a horrible place.  The sad thing is that reinstating will probably not help and may very well make your present situation even worse as hard as it is to imagine that.  We all seem to think that these drugs will somehow help us when in fact they do nothing but wreak havoc and terror.  The only way to eventually get better is to get off the drugs and stay off, regardless of how difficult it is.  That is the hard truth.  I'm so very sorry as I've been in your position and so understand how you feel.  I reinstated and am well worse as a result and have added years and years to my recovery because I did so.  

Thank you for your kind thoughts. There is an inherent contradiction in all this. Ie on the one hand, stay off the toxic ADs at all costs, fight the good fight, despite the symptoms etc. On the other folk admitting that they had to reinstate as symptoms unbearable. 

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gardenlady
16 hours ago, Snorky said:

Thank you for your kind thoughts. There is an inherent contradiction in all this. Ie on the one hand, stay off the toxic ADs at all costs, fight the good fight, despite the symptoms etc. On the other folk admitting that they had to reinstate as symptoms unbearable. 

Reinstating is a fantasy and it appears that most who do it are worse off than before, unless it's a minuscule amount.  We THINK that reinstatement will help an unbearable situation become bearable, but because it's a fantasy, it doesn't and usually only makes things worse.  Of course there are exceptions as there is no absolute in any of this because the drugs affect each person differently.  But, reinstatement appears to be a colossal failure most of the time unless it's a minuscule amount. 

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