Rrsfc: a lot of drugs later some stabilization

[Venkat]

Hi @Rrsfc , it was very nice to go through your post. 

Wishing you good luck. 

Hope all of us do well this year. 

[hayduke]

11 hours ago, Rrsfc said:

Hi everyone, I finally started to taper. After the holiday fuss I am now ready to face a taper. Just took my first dosage, let's see what symptoms I have tomorrow. Am a bit nervous, but telling myself this time I am more prepared, already know how it works... I've been doing so well at 2,5mg I am sorry to lose this stability. But I am not a person that follows the easy road, I couldn't stop trying to taper, it's just not me 😜. So wish me luck, I'll keep updating my thread. I've been working on my psychological issues all this time, and I feel confident I am more equipped to deal with the issues that in the past were hard for me. Being able to witness myself and know myself better was really important on my personal growth journey. I was able to find new solutions, new ways to react. I still have a long way to go but I've changed so much  already. I kind of emotionally detached from the people in my life that affected and influenced me, I am now taking the time to find out who I am away from any influence. I can appreciate better what is me and what was a mirror of my family. I'm in a self-discovery journey, doing things I never did before, trying a new me and enjoying life as best I can. I am grateful for all I have been able to enjoy. I also learned to be consistent with the goals I make for myself but at the same time not to push too hard. And I keep adding new goals, some steps are bigger than others but I always keep moving forward. I am a very driven person and if things don't work I just keep trying untill I find the best way to approach the problem and succeed... little successes pile up and strenghten my self-esteem, motivating me to go further... I am curious about what this new year will bring... May the new year be filled with health, love and joy for all of us!

 

Go you!

 

Remember, as slow and gentle as you need.  Even if it takes you five years, that's heaps better than staying on 2.5.  But if even if you did, that's still heaps better than 5+mg 🙂

[Rrsfc]

Thank you @Venkat and @hayduke for your encouragement. Just woke up, my sleep was somewhat more light than usually, it took some time to fall asleep too. Other than that I feel well, rested and my usual self. I only dropped half a ml on a 10ml syringe, the other time I dropped way more at first and had more symptoms too. So I think things are going well, I'll keep dropping half a ml per month, hopefully it's slow enough for my system to adapt. ☺️

[BadMedicine]

Hi @Rrsfc. Sounds like you are in a really good place at the moment. Great foundation for a taper. Wishing you all the best. Hope it goes smoothly and successfully for you.

cheers BM.

[Rrsfc]

Hi everyone, I'm on day 12 of my taper, after I made my first 2,5% reduction. I am doing really well, no symptoms other than waking up more easily which is in fact good. I had to sleep more, now I feel I sleep only what I need. I don't feel tired, just well rested. I put a small kit in my wallet for when I go out, so I take my medication on time. I'm just feeling good and I don't think much about it, been focusing on other issues so I don't obsess and get impatient. For me it's crucial doing it without much thought, not focusing too much on coming down on a given time frame. I believe I learned a few things from my last attempt. But yesterday I had a seed of doubt about myself. A friend came over to talk about his depressive issues and talking about my own experience felt I came such a long way, I am a different person. In the end of the night my husband and I were talking about my reduction, I was telling him it's normal people going down having mild psychotic thoughts, and that if that happens I'll have to updose slightly, not double the dose like last time. He told me I was in the best mental shape of my life and I was risking all this to get out of the drug. I told him I could have issues later because of the drug, that the doctor also thought I was doing well at 5mg olanzapine and I was miserable, I had to push going to 2,5mg, so I have to see if I won't be better at O or at a lower dosage. I can't stop thinking he has a point there, I don't want to lose my stability but I also can't pass on the opportunity to try to get off this drug, I respect his opinion and all the suffering my ilness brought into our life, but I can't quit trying to get off, my mind just doesn't accept it at this point, even though it can be a safe and wise decision. There's something inside me telling this os the way to go. Since I have no symptoms, at day 15 of my taper I'll be coming down another 2,5%. I'll go by feel, I won't plan anything anymore, each fortnight I'll just asses how I'm doing and see if it's time to hold ir to go down a bit. Hope you all are doing well, I wish you health and joy. I'll keep updating my progress, but at the moment the taper is being effordless and easy. I just have to measure the dosage and that is more work than taking a pill but I'm getting used to it, I made it easy by following the marks in the syringe instead of calculating ammounts. I don't feel anxious about doing it like last time, I am confident I am getting an even dose because if I didn't I wouldn't feel as good. I also don't have to hide I'm tapering and that's good, it's a relief. My positive atitude towards life also helps me a lot, things can go really wrong but I always have a positive expectation at the beggining. I just feel happy and well and in a good place right now. I officialy am a part of the hearing voices movement now, and I am working within it to help change society's view about mental illness and psychotic experiences and bring support to those going through these issues.

 

[Blossom71]

3 hours ago, Rrsfc said:

He told me I was in the best mental shape of my life and I was risking all this to get out of the drug.

Hi @Rrsfc

 

I’ve just read all your thread and it seems to be that you’re in the best mental shape of your life mainly because all of your hard work, not the meds.

 

You’re keeping yourself in good shape with your diet, exercise, dealing with your issues, self awareness and holding tapers when you need to by listening to your body. I have no doubt you’ll succeed with all the hard work you’ve put in x

[Rrsfc]

Thank you for the encouragement @BadMedicine and @Blossom71, I really appreciate it ☺️. I was going to lower my dosage tomorrow, today is day 14 of my reduction but life got in the way. My son tested positive for COVID and we're all in isolation. I'm feeling a bit off, not being able to go walking or running makes a lot of difference in my life. I still don't know if I got it or not, I'll be tested soon. I have some symptoms but it can be all in my head, there's nothing definitive.  I've been reading about COVID survivors having worsened mental health and that got me a bit worried. My life was going so well, I will do my best not to lose that stability, but that is a bit uncertain at the time. Today I did some yoga and meditation, this helps a bit. I feel tired, without motivation. I have to find my focus again. I decided not to lower my meds because of all these changes in my routine, I don't want to deal with any withdrawal on top of that. I don't feel the need to push myself to go down like I did previously and that's good, guess I've learned my lesson from past mistakes. I am trying to see the positive things, and don't let the negatives take hold of me. I believe this is crucial for success. Yesterday I went running before he tested positive and I was thinking of my gratitude list, it was huge, I felt so good. Those positive things didn't go away, most of them are still true. The negatives tend to cloud the positives, I have to work against that and change my mindset.

 

 

[hayduke]

Can't really go wrong holding when you feel it's the way to go there @Rrsfc.  I hope Covid isn't too hard on you guys.

 

On 1/23/2022 at 11:55 PM, Rrsfc said:

I was telling him it's normal people going down having mild psychotic thoughts, and that if that happens I'll have to updose slightly, not double the dose like last time. He told me I was in the best mental shape of my life and I was risking all this to get out of the drug. I told him I could have issues later because of the drug, that the doctor also thought I was doing well at 5mg olanzapine and I was miserable, I had to push going to 2,5mg, so I have to see if I won't be better at O or at a lower dosage.

 

My previous psychologist was very helpful around here.  I passed on to her that the original prescribing psychiatrist was upset at my having got down to 2.5mg and had said "I can't support this.  I won't see you any more".

 

She calmly said "Well, if he says you need to be on a minimum of 5mg, and I can see you're doing perfectly well at 2.5mg, why shouldn't you be ok at zero either?"

You don't even need to updose most times you notice symptoms after a cut, just hold for longer.  A sense of unease or feeling unsettled were probably the main symptoms for me there, like around 1.2mg.  If they aren't abating after that, a miniscule updose did the trick for me a few times, but was not usually necessary.

 

On 1/24/2022 at 3:38 AM, Blossom71 said:

seems to be that you’re in the best mental shape of your life mainly because all of your hard work, not the meds.

 

^ excellent insight 🙂

[Blossom71]

Hi @Rrsfc

 

I think your wise to stay where you are. I think I’d probably do the same in your shoes. 
I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you don’t get covid too and that your son doesn’t feel too unwell. 

 

This is just a minor bump in the road. Stay positive and you’ll rock this xx

[BadMedicine]

Hi @Rrsfc. It’s really positive that you were doing really well after your first reduction until life threw a load of stressors at you. Very sensible to hold while you’re dealing with these added pressures. Hope you and your family aren’t too unwell from the Covid and that you recover quickly and fully.

 

The way I look at it - you might have to wait before making another reduction but by holding your brain is adapting to the last cut more fully which is likely to make the next cut easier. I definitely found from time to time that the cuts would catch up with me a bit making symptoms hang around longer than previous cuts and I had to hold  slightly before carrying on.

 

FWIW I think you are doing the right thing trying to get off this drug. The health benefits of being drug free are definitely worth the risk. But also I think the risk is massively minimised by the careful, slow taper that you are planning. Even if you don’t get to zero you might be able to be really stable at a significantly lower dose where the side effects are minimal. I certainly find things significantly better at 1.875mg in comparison to 2.5mg. Who would have thought that such a small amount would make so much difference!

[Rrsfc]

Thank you @hayduke, we are doing well. I believe me and my husband haven't caught anything. I never tried to hold the dosage longer, but if I get bad symptoms I will do that, if psychosis happens I'll try to updose slightly like I learned here. I think this time I am prepared to make the right decisions. Last time I was too focused on getting off quickly, I had a chart of cuts and when to make them, but you of all people know things are not like that at all. 🤣

 

thank you @Blossom71, ☺️ for caring and encouraging me. Things are going well, my son is better already, we have 0 symptoms.

 

Thank you @BadMedicine I agree with everything you said. This is a very powerful drug and I believe I am much better without it. I just have to be really careful going down. I remember feeling really good at 2mg, you're right, even a small decrease is noticeable and worth tapering to get there.

 

Yesterday I was in a really funky mood, but I snapped out of it. I was anxious and without motivation to do anything, just wanted to eat cake 🤣. But I decided against it, I already had cookies on monday and I am watching my weight at the moment. I ate a little more than I use to in the holidays, now it's detox time. I don't remember if I disclosed it here but I was able to lose 23kg since 2017, people think I am skinny now. I am so happy with this achievement I don't want to go back to gaining weight so I have to be vigilant about my food intake. I am now able to wear desses and I am loving every minute of this transformation. So I just wanted to eat the whole cupboard and I thought I should take action. I brewed some chamomile tea and I went browsing for a new book that would help me. I found a wonderful book 

The Positive Habit: Six Steps for Transforming Negative Thoughts Into Positive Emotions

 

I was reading and it seemed so right I just did everything it suggested. Today I feel wonderful, 10 out of 10, a lot different from yesterday. Also helped being invited to moderate a group of family and friends of people that hear voices. So today I am my usual self, I wasn't able to go running so I tried a new yoga class (boho beautiful is my favourite) and I did a dance class (figure 8 max drills). I feel energetic, happy, grateful, blissful. In the afternoon I will be working from home, going back to my routine. I'll make a new post every 15 days that's when I decide to hold or to make a cut. This way I can document my journey for those searching for some guidance, they can learn from my mistakes and decisions. I also decided to share here my best tips on how to regain back your life after being labeled a mental patient or hitting rock bottom mentally. I feel like I regained my life and want to help others do the same, this is my small contribution. Hope you find it helpful and inspiring...

 

The Exercise Tip

 

Everyone knows that Exercise is good for your health but it's not good it's great. It's as effective as medicine with no side effects. For me jogging 45m 3x a week is a must, a Pillar in my routine. I also walk 60m at the end of the day 5x a week. I have a lot more energy, my mind is more positive, I no longer ruminate or feel anxious without a strong external reason. I used to get really anxious socially and it was all gone a few months after I started jogging. If I stop I get worse. I was diagnosed generalized anxiety when I was young so this was not light, it was impairing to my social functioning and my self-esteem for years and years. Exercise was the medicine I needed to thrive, to be the person I always dreamed I could be. I tried swimming but I hate chlorinated pools, I tried going to the gym but I hate treadmills. I also do yoga/pilates when I wake up, nothing too long, 15m boho beautiful videos on youtube. Yoga helped me learn how to focus on what my body is feeling, to reconnect to it besides the improved flexibility and balance and even some body resistance training. I learned to endure better unpleasant body states. I've been skipping on it and one of my 2022 resolutions is being more regular in my practice. I love going on 2h walks in nature with a friend, chatting about our issues, it's very therapeutic. You can do any exercise you like, our brains need it, not just our bodies.

 

Hope you all have a wonderful positive day!

 

Edited January 26, 2022 by ChessieCat
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[Blossom71]

On 1/26/2022 at 2:52 PM, Rrsfc said:

just wanted to eat cake 🤣

That’s me, always! 

[Rrsfc]

Hi everyone, today is day 31 of my taper, yesterday I made a 2,5% drop, now at 2,375mg, I take 9,5ml of a 10ml syringe filled with water and half a 5mg orodispersible tablet.

 

I had no symptoms coming down, I don't antecipate problems before reaching 2mg if everything goes like last time. I came down with COVID 2 weeks ago, so I'm not as enthusiastic as in my last post. Life has its ups and downs. Today I finally feel almost well, I went for a run. My mental health suffered a bit while confined and sick but now I'm getting on track. I had my throat burning and hurting, headaches, congestion, mucus, tiredness, fever, it was a picnic ☺️. But now I am recovering, woke up really positive today. Happily there are no symptoms from my drop.

 

The books Tip

 

I felt really isolated when dealing with my mental health issues and started listening to and reading self-help books. I listen while I walk outdoors, almost everyday, so it's really nice. I got myself a subscription and I can read and listen to all the books I want. I started by listening a book about cognitive strategies for depression "Feeling good, the new mood therapy - Burns", I loved a book about Self-compassion "Self-compassion - Neff", and there were other books I loved. Reading or listening to books broadens our knowledge and sometimes books are Boeing and umappealing but sometimes they are great and they can entertain, teach, and make us feel less alone and scared. I tend to listen more than read because it fits my schedule better. I already listened to Dr. Greger's books and I feel very fortunate for having access to those. It's a wonderful habit I picked up and that I recommend to everyone. Having a subscription has the advantage of changing books without playing more money. I don't have access to the most recent books but I don't mind, the ones I read were really worth it.

 

Hope you all have a Nice day!

[Blossom71]

Oh no @Rrsfc so you did get covid after all 😪 , but great that you've recovered well.  

 

I've been devouring books about psych meds and big pharma. Slightly obsessively i'd say, but i'm learning so much and enjoying them so I'll keep going.  I find reading really relaxing - almost like meditation - as I can't think of anything else while I am engrossed.

 

Good to hear that all is well with you x

[Venkat]

Hi @Rrsfc , you are doing really well. Keep it up.👍

[Lilabella]

@Rrsfc are you using the orodisprrsible tablets to reduce? Do you dissolve them in water? Thanks 

 

[Rrsfc]

@Blossom71

Thanks for your support, there was a time I read about meds too but I was very angry with the doctors that prescribed them so it was not helping me, it made me worsoe, so I stopped focusing on that. I am very curious to know what you have learned, maybe you could share some of it on your thread 😊. 

 

@Venkat thank you for your support, it seems you are doing well also, I'm glad.

 

@Lilabella thanks for stopping by, like I said in my post I use a 10ml syringe, measure 10ml water, add the orodispersible tablet and then capture only what I'm taking, dropping 0,25ml each 15 of 30 days. The orodispersibles make a quick and nice suspension, I don't have any issues with uneven doses. It's a quick and fuss free method and for now it's working.

[Rrsfc]

Hello everyone, today is day 46 of my taper, I made the 3rd cut yesterday, coming down from 2,5mg olanzapine coming down 2,5% from the inicial dose every cut.

 

I think I woke up during the night but went back to sleep so nothing there. I woke up early to run and errand and I noticed that I am more shy, more insecure around peopl today. I thought some issues were gone, but here they are again... But it's milder than it used to be and manageable. I'm trying not to be hard on myself, thinking it is a journey and no one is perfect and has all the answers. The people that love me will understand if I get a bit worse. I am ok with it also, I have been facing a lot of challenges lately and learning how to deal with frustration about not begaving like I want to/should for my mês standards on every situation. I'm trying to reinvent mtlyself and sometimes it os not easy. Nothing on this journey is easy, but it só worth it. I have to take a step back once in a while and appreciate how far I have come...

 

The weight loss tip

 

I gained a lot of weight from my meds and this really affected my self-esteem. When I was able to lose that weight I felt so acomplished for a while, it was great ☺️. I follow a low fat (almost no fat) whole food plant based diet and exercise as I said in my previous post. To lose weight for good you have to embrace a new lifestyle, a healthy lifestyle. I chose a plant based diet because I can eat without counting calories and it supports health and longevity. It also improved my cholesterol, which was really really high after starting olanzapine. You may think that body fat is not a big issue, that it's only aesthetics but that is not quite true... Fat is not innert tissue, it promotes toxicity in the body. The fatter you are the more prone you are to disease. Olanzapine also interferes with the AMPK enzyme and the fat storing mechanism, so you get fatter on this pill. To help reverse this effect I take apple cider vinegar 2 teaspoons (3x a day), diluted in 300ml of water. I turned it into a healthy smoothie, with steamed collards, water and some other goodies and I drink it before my meals to help fill me up. The vinegar tip I picked up in Dr. Greger's book "How not to diet", that is a very comprehensive reference on losing weight in a healthy way. I also felt more and more energy as I lost weight, I am a much more productive person now on every way. My bloodwork improved immensely, I am now on a BMI of 21 and for me a big part of my health is maintaining this weight and my diet. I go out to dinner too, I just try in every occasion to eat as healthy as I can, without guilt or rigidity. I indulge sometimes on unhealthy foods when I strongly want to eat these foods, I don't feel at all deprived, because this is a choice I made for myself, a way of self-love. And like I said sometimes I crave something and I tend to satisfy my cravings. But on the next day I go back to my routine and to my healthy meals. I supplement some things I feel necessary, every person needs different supplements, but B12 is a must. And this is my take on losing weight, I did it all just learning online, I use cronometer.com to track my micronutrientes and have a sense of the calories and macros. Not every day, week, but once in a while I track my intake. My doctor was very happy with my latest bloodwork. Hope I have inspired you to take better care of your body because a healthy mind lives in a healthy body.

[Blossom71]

3 hours ago, Rrsfc said:

I don't feel at all deprived, because this is a choice I made for myself, a way of self-love.

When I made changes to my diet last year it was a revelation to me when I realised that taking care of myself nutritionally comes from self love.  I had never looked at it that way before.

 

Well done you for making so many positive changes and for remembering to step back and realise how far you’ve come. We all need to remember  this as we are all works in progress and on a journey x

[BadMedicine]

Sounds like you are doing really well @Rrsfc.  I think it’s impossible to completely avoid some withdrawal symptoms coming off this drug. I believe navigating life with these symptoms, though leads to increased resilience and personal growth which will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life and sounds like you are trying to achieve. You have a great attitude to this process which will make success more likely. 

 

I am with you about nutrition. In the last couple of years I have really increased my intake of fruit and vegetables and notice a big difference in my mental health. In fact when I managed to cut out all junk food and just eat whole foods I felt the best I had done in years. Unfortunately I have a crisp fetish and can never stay off them for long! But I do notice the difference which should be enough to spur me on! Your post has made me want to make a concerted effort to try and cut them out again!

[Venkat]

On 2/26/2022 at 11:16 PM, Rrsfc said:

Hello everyone, today is day 46 of my taper, I made the 3rd cut yesterday, coming down from 2,5mg olanzapine coming down 2,5% from the inicial dose every cut.

 

I think I woke up during the night but went back to sleep so nothing there. I woke up early to run and errand and I noticed that I am more shy, more insecure around peopl today. I thought some issues were gone, but here they are again... But it's milder than it used to be and manageable. I'm trying not to be hard on myself, thinking it is a journey and no one is perfect and has all the answers. The people that love me will understand if I get a bit worse. I am ok with it also, I have been facing a lot of challenges lately and learning how to deal with frustration about not begaving like I want to/should for my mês standards on every situation. I'm trying to reinvent mtlyself and sometimes it os not easy. Nothing on this journey is easy, but it só worth it. I have to take a step back once in a while and appreciate how far I have come...

 

The weight loss tip

 

I gained a lot of weight from my meds and this really affected my self-esteem. When I was able to lose that weight I felt so acomplished for a while, it was great ☺️. I follow a low fat (almost no fat) whole food plant based diet and exercise as I said in my previous post. To lose weight for good you have to embrace a new lifestyle, a healthy lifestyle. I chose a plant based diet because I can eat without counting calories and it supports health and longevity. It also improved my cholesterol, which was really really high after starting olanzapine. You may think that body fat is not a big issue, that it's only aesthetics but that is not quite true... Fat is not innert tissue, it promotes toxicity in the body. The fatter you are the more prone you are to disease. Olanzapine also interferes with the AMPK enzyme and the fat storing mechanism, so you get fatter on this pill. To help reverse this effect I take apple cider vinegar 2 teaspoons (3x a day), diluted in 300ml of water. I turned it into a healthy smoothie, with steamed collards, water and some other goodies and I drink it before my meals to help fill me up. The vinegar tip I picked up in Dr. Greger's book "How not to diet", that is a very comprehensive reference on losing weight in a healthy way. I also felt more and more energy as I lost weight, I am a much more productive person now on every way. My bloodwork improved immensely, I am now on a BMI of 21 and for me a big part of my health is maintaining this weight and my diet. I go out to dinner too, I just try in every occasion to eat as healthy as I can, without guilt or rigidity. I indulge sometimes on unhealthy foods when I strongly want to eat these foods, I don't feel at all deprived, because this is a choice I made for myself, a way of self-love. And like I said sometimes I crave something and I tend to satisfy my cravings. But on the next day I go back to my routine and to my healthy meals. I supplement some things I feel necessary, every person needs different supplements, but B12 is a must. And this is my take on losing weight, I did it all just learning online, I use cronometer.com to track my micronutrientes and have a sense of the calories and macros. Not every day, week, but once in a while I track my intake. My doctor was very happy with my latest bloodwork. Hope I have inspired you to take better care of your body because a healthy mind lives in a healthy body.

You have been an inspiration to me@Rrsfc and you will continue to be so to many.

You are taking good care of yourself. Keep going and we are following. 

[hayduke]

On 2/27/2022 at 4:46 AM, Rrsfc said:

I think I woke up during the night but went back to sleep so nothing there. I woke up early to run and errand and I noticed that I am more shy, more insecure around peopl today. I thought some issues were gone, but here they are again... But it's milder than it used to be and manageable.

 

Yep that sort of thing is such a familiar pattern.  Timing cuts to allow a bit of wiggle room for these sorts of patches becomes second nature after a while.  It's always nice when it clears up towards the end of the week though!  And if it didn't I learnt always to extend the hold till it does.

 

Good on you

[Rrsfc]

Hi everyone, thank you for stopping by!

 

@Blossom71 Previously I really underestimated the power of diet on brain function, but not anymore. Now I really try to pass forward this knowledge to those in need of it. I'm glad you were also able to make some changes! Thank you for the encouragement ☺️

 

@BadMedicine I am so glad you felt inspired, remember that it's not all or nothing, you can have your crisps once in a while. I usually have some unhealthy meals on the weekend. What counts is the everyday stuff. Don't let perfection get in the way, if you eat 80% right it's wonderful for your health. I seem to have developed the right attitute towards this process like you say, it was partly because of what I've learned here on my last attempts, but I also feel I'm getting better phisically and mentally with time... Health is a long term goal, not something you get in a week, month or year. I am so glad for what I was able to acomplish and curious to see what's coming next! I

 

@Venkat thank you for your support ☺️ things are really going well, I'd rather come down 2,5% and feel almost no symptoms than coming down faster. I hardly feel I'm tapering, for me this is the best approach I have ever tried. I really feel it will go well this time, but when I get to 1,8mg I will see what happens 🙄.

 

@hayduke thanks, holding is an art really... Holding as well as patience are incredibly important in this process... Unfortunately not everyone masters these skills. My way of not getting impatient is just focusing on other things and "forgetting" I am tapering, otherwise I get frustrated.

 

[hayduke]

9 hours ago, Rrsfc said:

My way of not getting impatient is just focusing on other things and "forgetting" I am tapering

 

That's a great insight, often overlooked.  While tapers do require a bit of attention in the background, it should mostly be in the background!

[Rrsfc]

Hi everyone, today is day 60 of my taper, day 2 of my 4th drop. I am now at 2,25mg olanzapine.

 

I didn't feel any withdrawal as usual, but what I am feeling is emotions bubbling inside. I am more philosophical, more articulate, my mind works better, I feel more bliss. This past week I also felt anger, I had to sit through it, it was not easy. This started before dropping my dosage. I wrote a great deal about this in my journal and it's such a marvellous thing to experience. My life has been so filled with emotions lately and I am processing all this with my new skills that I've learned along the way. I feel confident I'll Pull through. Today was a big milestone on my Journey I was an invited speaker on a meeting about managing psychiatric medication. I didn't get into anything technical or practical, I just tried to inspire all the people there that recovery from serious mental issues is possible, that medication is just a bandage that you must discard when it's no longer serving you. It was not an easy message to convey, I mentioned SA and a wonderful paper by Adele Framer "What I've learned from helping thousands..." You can Google it if you don't know it. The meeting was not in English, English is not my first language, but I hope at least someone there is able to access the content I provided. In the end a young boy wanted to chat with me, he's on 20mg olanzapine 😱. I was horrified and felt a deep empathy with him, I've been there too. I couldn't stop myself and in private I told him he should find someone to help him taper, it's such an awfully high dosage. I feel maybe I shouldn't have done it but I felt compelled. I have to be more careful with my interventions. And these are my news, everything bubbly here, lots of new things for my system to handle. I had a lot of chamomile tea and deep belly breathing, soothing music and writing, as well as being aware of my physical symptoms which I pretty much ignored ir didn't even feel in the past. Today I was able to feel my anxiety in my body and appreciate how it affects me. I'm vigilant about it and actively try to smoothe things out. It's such a priceless journey... My husband despite everything going well is negative as usual about my taper, I have to be patient with him, he suffered a lot on my account.

 

The daily routines tip

 

Daily routines are one of the most important pillars of my health. From the moment I wake up my day is already planned. Routines calm me and soothe my need of previsibility in a life that sometimes can be unpredictable. Nothing is set in stone, at first I was more rigid, now I can afford to be more flexible. You just get a piece of paper or spreadsheet and plan your week. Schedule exercise, work, meals, cleaning, shopping, everything. You'll see things more clearly. If you have a problem getting started you can note everything you do in a week so you can make changes from that. Routines mean discipline and commitment, these are all wonderfully things to have in your life. Routine is a very powerful and under rated strategy to have a pleasant efficient life. Just give it a try... 

 

Hope you all have a wonderful day, week, month and year 😊

[Venkat]

Inspiring post , happy for you @Rrsfc you are doing so well. I agree , planning a routine is quite helpful and so is taking one day at a time atleast initially. I just hope tapering from 2.5 downwards wouldn't be very hard for me. Let's hope for the best. Your post just gave me confidence. Thank you. 

[Rrsfc]

Thank you @Venkat. With so much happening in my life emotionally today I feel a bit overwhelmed. It would have been wiser to hold, but my cuts are so small I don't believe it will make a huge difference. Yesterday falling asleep I was afraid I would not sleep and get manic again but I eventually slept and things are getting back on track. Not everything is or will be roses, I have to be prepared for what's coming. Untill 2mg I don't foresee anything really difficult but from there on I think things can be bumpy. We have to be emotionally prepared for that and hold as long as it takes to recover and also choose well what we Invest our energy in when we're really sensitive like I am at the moment. But I am thinking one day at a time, one moment, one cup of chamomile tea 🤣.  I am glad you were inspired, have a nice day 😊. Thank you for posting, it really means a lot to me, I feel supported on my journey.

[BadMedicine]

Hi @Rrsfc. Great to hear you doing so well. I also feel a lot more emotion now I’m at 1.875mg. I went to a meat loaf (my favourite artist) musical recently and could really feel the emotions in the songs. It was wonderful after being so numb for so long. But I have had a stressful period at work and I notice I definitely get more upset when things don’t go well. I feel out of practice managing my emotions after not feeling for so long. It does definitely take a bit of getting used to. But it is absolutely worth the effort to naturally manage these negative feelings as the strength of the positive ones are so much more as well. Sounds like you are doing very well coping with both sides of your increased emotions and it will continue to get better I’m sure.

 

What a wonderful thing as well to help spread the story of your recovery and give other people hope. I hope you have inspired many people who thought they were lost forever that it is possible with the right lifestyle to get better and that the drugs needn’t be a lifelong burden.

[Rrsfc]

Thank you @BadMedicine! It was a small meeting and unfortunately people are not ready to listen to my message, they are too used to this one symptom one pill mentality in my country. Even seeing me healthy and well and pointing the way people still feel more confortable with their pills and trusting psychiatrists it's what they are used to. I believe I'll have to adjust my message slightly to get it across. But there will be other opportunities to spread the word, I believe it is inevitable that people wake up... I found some like minded people and we are working to spread this important message. 

[hayduke]

On 3/14/2022 at 2:01 AM, BadMedicine said:

Hi @Rrsfc. Great to hear you doing so well. I also feel a lot more emotion now I’m at 1.875mg. I went to a meat loaf (my favourite artist) musical recently and could really feel the emotions in the songs. It was wonderful after being so numb for so long. But I have had a stressful period at work and I notice I definitely get more upset when things don’t go well. I feel out of practice managing my emotions after not feeling for so long. It does definitely take a bit of getting used to. But it is absolutely worth the effort to naturally manage these negative feelings as the strength of the positive ones are so much more as well. Sounds like you are doing very well coping with both sides of your increased emotions and it will continue to get better I’m sure.

 

What a wonderful thing as well to help spread the story of your recovery and give other people hope. I hope you have inspired many people who thought they were lost forever that it is possible with the right lifestyle to get better and that the drugs needn’t be a lifelong burden.

 

I found similar with the tide gradually going out and emotional clarity and sensation coming back.  Heaps of self care for irritability and be kind to yourself when you're not feeling 100% - it's the drugs, and it will keep improving even though it seems to last forever during the taper.

Glad you got to a show, sounds like fun!

[hayduke]

On 3/13/2022 at 11:01 AM, Rrsfc said:

Hi everyone, today is day 60 of my taper, day 2 of my 4th drop. I am now at 2,25mg olanzapine.

 

I didn't feel any withdrawal as usual, but what I am feeling is emotions bubbling inside. I am more philosophical, more articulate, my mind works better, I feel more bliss. This past week I also felt anger, I had to sit through it, it was not easy. This started before dropping my dosage. I wrote a great deal about this in my journal and it's such a marvellous thing to experience. My life has been so filled with emotions lately and I am processing all this with my new skills that I've learned along the way. I feel confident I'll Pull through. Today was a big milestone on my Journey I was an invited speaker on a meeting about managing psychiatric medication. I didn't get into anything technical or practical, I just tried to inspire all the people there that recovery from serious mental issues is possible, that medication is just a bandage that you must discard when it's no longer serving you. It was not an easy message to convey, I mentioned SA and a wonderful paper by Adele Framer "What I've learned from helping thousands..." You can Google it if you don't know it. The meeting was not in English, English is not my first language, but I hope at least someone there is able to access the content I provided. In the end a young boy wanted to chat with me, he's on 20mg olanzapine 😱. I was horrified and felt a deep empathy with him, I've been there too. I couldn't stop myself and in private I told him he should find someone to help him taper, it's such an awfully high dosage. I feel maybe I shouldn't have done it but I felt compelled. I have to be more careful with my interventions. And these are my news, everything bubbly here, lots of new things for my system to handle. I had a lot of chamomile tea and deep belly breathing, soothing music and writing, as well as being aware of my physical symptoms which I pretty much ignored ir didn't even feel in the past. Today I was able to feel my anxiety in my body and appreciate how it affects me. I'm vigilant about it and actively try to smoothe things out. It's such a priceless journey... My husband despite everything going well is negative as usual about my taper, I have to be patient with him, he suffered a lot on my account.

 

The daily routines tip

 

Daily routines are one of the most important pillars of my health. From the moment I wake up my day is already planned. Routines calm me and soothe my need of previsibility in a life that sometimes can be unpredictable. Nothing is set in stone, at first I was more rigid, now I can afford to be more flexible. You just get a piece of paper or spreadsheet and plan your week. Schedule exercise, work, meals, cleaning, shopping, everything. You'll see things more clearly. If you have a problem getting started you can note everything you do in a week so you can make changes from that. Routines mean discipline and commitment, these are all wonderfully things to have in your life. Routine is a very powerful and under rated strategy to have a pleasant efficient life. Just give it a try... 

 

Hope you all have a wonderful day, week, month and year 😊

 

Great to see you are navigating this in such a lively way @Rrsfc

I keep biting off more than I can chew, and missing out on things due to low energy etc.  It's really helpful to keep reminding yourself to pace yourself, and it's ok to spend a day or two in bed, slothing around, sleeping, being a beach bum or whatever.  

At the same time I feel there is so much to catch up on but am getting more at ease with the idea that I can't do it all at once, and just nibble at bits as I'm in the mood, and prioritise things.

It's interesting that we all seem to notice emotions really starting to come back on line and relationships improving at 2.5mg and below.

Cheers it's nice to see all you guys doing well.

[Rrsfc]

@hayduke 🤣🤣 being a beach bum or whatever 🤣🤣 you really made me laugh. Yes, sometimes we need that, there are days I can hardly do anything. But I am learning my limits and trying to improve each single day what I can. When I am not being very productive I tend to think of myself as inferior and not worthy and I sink myself even more. I am trying to change that, yesterday I was in that kind of day but I was able to go on and not wollow in self pitty and blame and I ended up being productive enough and respecting myself more. I believe it was a breakthrough. Each day I feel more resilient, but we never know what the future will bring... I hope you can regain some energy too, I believe in time things will improve for you even more. Just keep taking care of your brain and good things will happen. Thank you for dropping by!

 

@BadMedicine I forgot to congratulate you on going to a concert, it must've been huge for you, dealing with so many people and emotions at the same time. I am so happy you had fun and feel more like yourself at this dosage. 😊

[BadMedicine]

On 3/17/2022 at 2:07 PM, Rrsfc said:

@BadMedicine I forgot to congratulate you on going to a concert, it must've been huge for you, dealing with so many people and emotions at the same time. I am so happy you had fun and feel more like yourself at this dosage. 😊

Thanks @Rrsfc.

 

On 3/13/2022 at 5:54 PM, Rrsfc said:

believe I'll have to adjust my message slightly to get it across. But there will be other opportunities to spread the word, I believe it is inevitable that people wake up... I found some like minded people and we are working to spread this important message. 

I’m sure you’ll find a way to get your message across more effectively. You have a very good way with words. In any case you may have reached more people than you think. Quite often people can seem very resistant to an alternative way of thinking/acting but the message sparks a seed of doubt that their way is the only way, which can encourage more research and a desire to at least tentatively try something different. Good luck with your continued work in this area. 

[Rrsfc]

@BadMedicinethank you for your support and your kind words, I feel this is a small contribution I can make to the world, share my experience regarding mental health issues, drugs, psychiatry. I am very fortunate to have found this site and all the wonderful resilient people in it. Together se are stronger and we Will find a way.

[Rrsfc]

Hello everyone, today is day 75 of my taper from 2,5mg olanzapine. I made my 5th cut 3 days ago (2,5%), now at 2,1875mg, I take 8,75ml of the 10ml solution I prepare everyday.

 

I didn't noticed any withdrawal as usual. This week we changed to summer time (1h forward) and I have been feeling tired. I had my birthday, I threw a big party, I don't remember the last time I did that and it was wonderful. I am recovering from that, because I did it all almost by myself and it was a lot of work. Today I am feeling a bit insecure, but nothing unusual. I feel really accomplished by having my party. There are some things in my life I still have to change but I am happy with my progresso. I'm dealing with letting go of resentment and I've been getting closer to some people in my life. I don't want to harbour these negative feelings anymore. It's hard feeling the hurt, working through it, I feel a bit emotionally drained too. I almost didn't make the 5th drop but I'm glad I did because no withdrawal yet. I believe I don't have withdrawal because I make such small cuts, but when I get bellow 2mg I expect things to worsen a bit. I've been sleeping well too.

 

The journaling Tip

 

Journaling is a way to get in touch with yourself and your thoughts, your emotions. I journal a lot, I use the emoods APP. It takes a little practice being really honest with yourself but it gives me such a relief. When I feel bad I just write about how I feel, and try to understand why and how can I make it better. I usually write about my day, my thoughts, my goals. It's a very powerful tool, although a simple one. I find I need to process a lot of things and journaling does that for me. I used to go to a therapist or talk with friends about my issues but journaling can have the same effect on most occasions although not always, sometimes I get stuck and need extra help. When this happens I read and article, talk to a friend, I find I go to the therapist less and less. If you're struggling with mental symptoms it is also very useful to journal and look for patterns.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Venkat]

Belated Birthday wishes @Rrsfc.

Happy to see you doing so well. 

Keep up the good work 👍