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EmergingFromTheVoid

EmergingFromTheVoid -- Escitalopram taper

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EmergingFromTheVoid
29 minutes ago, Katy398 said:

So so sorry Emergingfromthevoid,

I passed on what was posted to me. Obviously your circumstances are different. I’m so sorry. I had already cold turkey ed due to I’ll advice from Psychiatrist. Please think long and hard about your plan. Withdrawal is life threatening.  I am really, really struggling on a daily basis.  I wouldn’t wish these horrific symptoms on anyone. 

Take care of yourself Kx

 

Hi Katy398, 

 

It's ok. I know that you meant well. 🙂 

 

I plan to hold at 5mgs per day for a month...so on December 9th, 2019, I will reduce again if everything is still going well. 

 

I'm sorry that you're struggling so much, and I wish that I could help you. Sending you healing thoughts and my support. If you ever need to chat privately, feel free to send me a PM. 

 

Thanks and you take care too! 💙

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Katy398

Thanks Alto, for your reply  I’ll try not to worry but I live in constant worry at the moment. I wouldn’t wish this pain and anxiety on anyone. @EmergingFromTheVoid I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before but I have recently discovered that Lexapro is a very strong antidepressant twice as strong as many and it was licensed up to a 20mg dose. I was on 40 mgs. Whilst this is not illegal it’s bad practice and should also  be taken into consideration. 

I’m coming up to 11 months drug free and struggle daily. 

Please Take care of yourself emergingfromthevoid 

Kx

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Katy398

Thank so much  @EmergingFromTheVoid, I really appreciate your support, I think our posts went out at the same time. 

Take care Kx

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EmergingFromTheVoid

@Katy398 Yes, you have mentioned the strength of Lexapro before but it's ok to remind me again. 11 months drug free is an amazing accomplishment. Congratulations! 🙂

 

I'm sorry that it's still a daily struggle for you though. Do you find any joy, anything that can help you break through it, if even for a few minutes or is it non-stop? Self care is so important, but even that can be a huge struggle sometimes. I'm trying to take it easy and be gentle with myself. I hope you can too. We are amazingly beautiful, complex creatures who need time to heal, however long it takes.

 

You take care too.

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EmergingFromTheVoid

I'm doing really well, and looking forward to my next cut/drop. 🙂

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EmergingFromTheVoid

I'm so glad that SA is here for everyone. I've found some of the most kind, the strongest and most determined people on the web, right here.

 

The wonderful, new friends that I've made on here are helping me, as I hope that I am helping them. Not feeling alone in this journey is easily half the battle. 

 

To those who go above and beyond to be gentle, kind and supportive, your efforts are noticed and appreciated in more ways than can be expressed. hugs 🙂💙

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EmergingFromTheVoid

I had an appointment with my blood specialist today and he said that my iron is low again and is prescribing a 600 mg dose iron supplement, ever other day.

 

My question is: will the iron supplement interfere with my taper (successful thus far), or is it safe for me to take? 

 

The Dr. said that my iron levels are basically running between a 1/4 to empty, like on a tank of gas gauge, so it's probably why I'm low energy and tired a fair amount of the time. 

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EmergingFromTheVoid
On 12/2/2019 at 10:45 AM, EmergingFromTheVoid said:

I had an appointment with my blood specialist today and he said that my iron is low again and is prescribing a 600 mg dose iron supplement, ever other day.

 

My question is: will the iron supplement interfere with my taper (successful thus far), or is it safe for me to take? 

 

The Dr. said that my iron levels are basically running between a 1/4 to empty, like on a tank of gas gauge, so it's probably why I'm low energy and tired a fair amount of the time. 

 

I'll be starting the iron supplement today. Wish me luck.

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sunnysideup69

@EmergingFromTheVoid, good luck. Hopefully it will go smoothly. Aside from iron, how are you doing?

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EmergingFromTheVoid

Hi @sunnysideup69,

 

Thank you! 🙂 I'm doing really well. This fast taper that I'm doing is going as well as possible I think...minimal, infrequent wd symptoms for only the first week or two. 

 

How are things going for you in your journey?

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sunnysideup69
55 minutes ago, EmergingFromTheVoid said:

Hi @sunnysideup69,

 

Thank you! 🙂 I'm doing really well. This fast taper that I'm doing is going as well as possible I think...minimal, infrequent wd symptoms for only the first week or two. 

 

How are things going for you in your journey?

 

Good to hear you are doing well.

Well, I seem to be a bit more stable in November. Still some waves, but they were tolerable rather than incapacitating. Quite easily stressed still, my nervous system is a bit delicate, but I'm functioning, going to work, exercising. Not much socialising yet, but it will come. Overall, doing ok! Thanks for asking 😊 It's a really slow plod along, but I'm coping. And now it's winter, I just want to hibernate 😁

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jozeff

Hi emerging,

 

How is your taper coming along? Hope you're doing great.

Good luck and

 

Cheers

 

 

Jozeff

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EmergingFromTheVoid
On 12/5/2019 at 12:05 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

 

Good to hear you are doing well.

Well, I seem to be a bit more stable in November. Still some waves, but they were tolerable rather than incapacitating. Quite easily stressed still, my nervous system is a bit delicate, but I'm functioning, going to work, exercising. Not much socialising yet, but it will come. Overall, doing ok! Thanks for asking 😊 It's a really slow plod along, but I'm coping. And now it's winter, I just want to hibernate 😁

 

Hi @sunnysideup69,

 

Thank you. 🙂 Wow! You're doing so well on your journey -- congratulations!

 

It's important, or so I've found anyhow, to take it easy, find solitude (minimal lights, sounds, etc.) when I get that "feeling", like things are a little off or out of sync at times during a drop/cut. The first 8-10 days, I usually have a few, minimal and intermittent WD symptoms. Some decent sleep also does me a world of good.

 

Which coping techniques help you the most? 

 

Slowly but surely is a good pace. 🙂

 

Winter can be a bit tough, but I love how pretty the snow looks, I adore the beautiful Christmas decorations,  and spending time with my dearly loved ones. After Christmas is a bit of a letdown, but that's just because the festivities are over.

 

Keep up the great work, SSU. 💙

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EmergingFromTheVoid
18 hours ago, jozeff said:

Hi emerging,

 

How is your taper coming along? Hope you're doing great.

Good luck and

 

Cheers

 

 

Jozeff

 

Hi @jozeff,

 

It's coming along exceedingly well so far, and thanks for asking. 🙂

 

I'm finally at zero mg per day of my AD as of a few days ago! I can't tell you how glad I am. This drug has effectively robbed me of 8 years of my life and I've noticed with each successive drop/cut that I'm feeling more "alive". I should mention that the CBT and talk therapy that I've been having during the same time has been absolutely invaluable; without resolving the issues that made me go on the ADs in the first place, I'm sure that I wouldn't have been very successful with this fast taper, despite all my efforts and hopes. Emotions, feelings, etc. were some of the first things that I noticed as I began emerging from the void. It was as if I'd been drugged into numbness, yet somehow I was full of anxiety, had frequent panic attacks and felt stressed and sad much of the time. I was always lonely and missed my husband terribly, even when he was gone for just an hour or so to go shopping. It was honestly...hell. 

 

Many of the "new" emotions made me feel raw/sensitive at first and they felt so foreign to me. How strange that my own emotions were relatively unknown to me now? How horrible to realize that I'd been living within this void for so long! 

 

Now, fast forward to things as my AD dosage was reduced; I've found that I'm capable of a depth of love and devotion that I hadn't felt possible for over 8 years. The anxiety is reduced by about 80% and I haven't had another panic attack. I'm not feeling very stressed, except about financial things sometimes, which can't really be avoided at the moment. I'm also ok with hubby leaving to go shopping, go to work, etc. because I know that he'll return and I have lots of things that I can do with my time while he's gone. 

 

Things have improved so much for me in the last 2 months since I began my fast taper. It's difficult to accurately describe how much it means to me to be getting my life back. The hope that it's giving me for the future, one that once seemed so cloudy and dim, is something else! 💙

 

I'm so thankful that I found this website. The support, the information and some of the amazing people that I've found on here is what has helped make my personal journey such a gentle and rewarding one so far.

 

Everyone is different and I don't advocate a fast taper to those who have bad WD symptoms at any time after a cut/drop. Listen to your body and how it responds. Take as much time as you need. Most importantly, don't be afraid to ask for help. 

 

Best,

E.

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EmergingFromTheVoid

Merry Christmas! 🙂💙

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sunnysideup69

Merry Christmas 😊🎅🌲

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EmergingFromTheVoid

Update: Fast taper. Now at day 18 days of having no AD in my system. 

 

I'm sleeping well, I have energy, no brain fog or confusion. I'm "me" again! 😀

 

The only thing that bothers me on a regular basis is a headache. It's a daily thing (although not constant) and the right side of my head hurts the most. On the plus side, an Advil all but takes the headache away. I have no interest or intention of up-dosing at this point in time.

 

I'd say that my fast taper WD has been a success thus far and I'm happy that I've been able to share it with my friends on here. Only time will tell if I've made a big error in judgment, but I'm doing my best to stay positive and I'm mindful of what can happen.

 

I still journal daily and use a checklist to keep track of my daily WD symptoms. 

 

Wishing everyone a safe, happy and healthy New Year! 

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Rhiannon

I've just skimmed your thread so maybe someone has already said this, but: It is not uncommon for people to get through the early, acute part of withdrawal and tapering well, but to get hit at anywhere from 3 to 12 months out, usually around 3-6. It's actually more common for it to happen that way than otherwise. Dr. Shipko comments on this now in all of his articles about withdrawal, and those of us who've been around here a while have seen it over and over again.

 

It's true that some people get off the meds relatively quickly; however, those tend by and large not to be the people who were on them for many years.

 

I am concerned that you are going to regret your haste, down the road, probably in 3-6 months. Please consider being cautious. I have seen so  much suffering and I don't want you to become another example. There is really no reason, after 8 years, to rush off. There is very little downside to going more slowly, and very much potential downside to going too fast.

 

Also FYI I can definitely relate to what you're saying about getting your feelings back after coming off the meds. It's a wonderful experience. It happens with slower tapers too!

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EmergingFromTheVoid
1 hour ago, Rhiannon said:

I've just skimmed your thread so maybe someone has already said this, but: It is not uncommon for people to get through the early, acute part of withdrawal and tapering well, but to get hit at anywhere from 3 to 12 months out, usually around 3-6. It's actually more common for it to happen that way than otherwise. Dr. Shipko comments on this now in all of his articles about withdrawal, and those of us who've been around here a while have seen it over and over again.

 

It's true that some people get off the meds relatively quickly; however, those tend by and large not to be the people who were on them for many years.

 

I am concerned that you are going to regret your haste, down the road, probably in 3-6 months. Please consider being cautious. I have seen so  much suffering and I don't want you to become another example. There is really no reason, after 8 years, to rush off. There is very little downside to going more slowly, and very much potential downside to going too fast.

 

Also FYI I can definitely relate to what you're saying about getting your feelings back after coming off the meds. It's a wonderful experience. It happens with slower tapers too!

 

Hi @Rhiannon,

 

Yes, I've read that. I've also read, outside of this site, about the many people who have successfully fast tapered off of ADs without the CNS crash ending. 

 

What I've done for me is what I've chosen, while understanding all of the risks. 

 

Come hell or high water, I'm off of the AD and good riddance to it! I'm already at zero and I'm staying here.

 

Being the "real" us again, is amazing. That numbing void is a thing of the past! 🙂

 

I'm comfortable with my choices, and I'm happy that I've made them.

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EmergingFromTheVoid
On 1/13/2020 at 7:00 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

Hey @EmergingFromTheVoid, happy new year, how's it going?

 

Hi SSU,

 

Thank you and a Happy New Year to you too. 🙂 Overall I am doing really well, especially when you consider that I'm 100% off the cursed AD (34 days at zero mg/day). Some days are better than others but I don't regret my decision to fast-taper. 

 

Some important things that I've learned:

  • Stay hydrated - drink lots of water so you flush out chemicals and toxins.
  • Stay regular - eat fruit, veggies and high fibre granola bars so your bowels don't slow down. Constipation is BAD! 
  • Get lots of good-quality sleep every night (if you can).
  • Don't push yourself too hard -- if you feel tired, run out of energy, start sweating without exercising, etc. take a break right away.
  • When you're having a rough day emotionally, try to take your mind off it and distract yourself, or nap.
  • Do your best to reduce your levels of stress -- if you're in a high stress job, consider taking some time off when things get bad.
  • Be gentle with yourself in every way and in all things -- don't have your expectations set too high, don't plan big outings or get-togethers if you can't easily get out of them.
  • Don't be afraid to cry -- crying (if not excessive) can be a great way to relieve emotional stress and physical tension. 
  • Listen to your body -- if you feel good, try to get some things done. If you feel bad, just relax, nap, distract yourself as best you can, and don't push yourself. 
  • Be patient -- withdrawing from ADs is a long distance marathon, not a sprint. 
  • Have someone you can trust around you -- you'll need reassurance, someone to help out with chores/cooking/cleaning, etc., someone who can be a confidant and an overall support person. I'm lucky enough to have my bestfriend, soulmate and hubby to help me through my WD.

How are things going for you, SSU? 

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Katy398

Great list E,

It sure is a slow journey. Support is paramount, 

Take care

We Will All Heal Eventually.

Take care Kx

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EmergingFromTheVoid

Hey @Katy398,

 

Thanks, hun. 🙂 They are just some things I've noticed that are helpful for me and might be for others as well. You have also been an amazingly helpful and supportive person for me. Thank you so much. 💙

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Katy398

Hi @EmergingFromTheVoid

Thank you 🙏 

You’ve also been such a wonderful support to me too. 

I think it’s actually too much for any one person to do alone, we need a team for this job! Your one of the crucial members of my team and I am so so grateful 🙏Thank you 

Kx

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