juneight: need help for road map with Remeron

[juneight]

Hello everbody. I have been on BB remeron support group, but they tend to speak mostly benzo concerns. Now i need your help. My story is like that: i have been using prozac until last year with on and offs and i was supposing i had bruxism. In fact, it was ct but i didnt know. Last year in november a pdoc gave me abilify 2.5 mg. I took it for two months and didnt work and quit it. After that i had a bad anx., i tried many ads, but they didnt work. Lastly, i found myself in hospital in May. They gave me brintellix 10 mg, lamictal 100mg, remeron 30 mg. They brought me to the point i couldnt work so i stopped in hospital after 20 days. Then,my world turned into the hell. I lived dp dr,severe head pressure etc. Then, i started to remeron 15 for sleep issues within one month. My intention was starting to 100 day taper, but my buddies on BB said that, you were going too fast, first you should be stable. Then, after reaching to 12 mg, i listened them and now i have been holding it. I decided to go forward with that plan no matter how long it lasts. But, last week i started to take new sxs like nausea, diarrhera, gi issues, heart palps(1 months) which i never took them even in acute phase of my CTs. I think i lost the support from BB and came here to take some support. My anx. is bad and hardly i could go to the work. Every day, i consider to CT because of getting no stabilization. These drugs are terrible. Thank you for responses from now...

Edited November 14, 2019 by Shep
added username to title

[Sassenach]

Hello  Jun    and welcome to SA.

 

This site is run entirely by volunteer Administrators and Moderators, all have been through or going through withdrawal.

There are no commercial interests or influences  involved .

 

I am sorry you are having such a rough time but you are now in the right place.

 

The site is currently extremely busy so please ensure you answer any requests from staff fully.

 

Thank you for completing your drug signature.

Are you taking any supplements, if so please add to to your signature

- "(Brintellix 10 mg-Lamictal 100 mg-Remeron 15 mg CT after 20 days)" Did you C/T all three of these at the same time?

You are suffering withdrawal because of drug and dose changes.

On 11/9/2019 at 10:32 AM, juneight said:

but my buddies on BB said that, you were going too fast, first you should be stable.

They were right.

It is now essential that you stay at your current dose and allow your CNS ( central nervous system ) to stabilise.

This going to take some time please see,

the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/

keep-daily-notes-of-drug-schedule-and-symptoms-to-track-patterns-and-progress/

the-dr-claire-weekes-method-of-recovering-from-a-sensitized-nervous-system/

In the meantime DO NOT MAKE ANY CHANGE TO YOUR CURRENT MEDS please.

Please feel free to browse the site, it is a wealth of info.

Other members threads will give you an insight and the opportunity to share experiences.

 

Again welcome.

 

Sassenach

 

 

[juneight]

thank you sassenach for interest on me and kind words. yes i ct'ed them app. same time because they brought me to the point where i feel i can't work. so, i ct'ed them in hospital unconsciously. i checked in the benzobuddies forum and they give me unbelievable support. i am still amazed how they can ruin one's life after quitting even it's a short time like 15 or 20 days. when living the pain in the deepest, i made my brain use  at least remeron, but there was a mistake: i was impatient such i believe i can taper it in 100 days starting from 15 mg. i was a newbie on BB and i was still trying to understand the "tapering". if i knew, i would start it in lower doses like 3.5 mg etc. in the earliest days of my ct, i had two seizure-like facts and visited some doctors who some of them wanted to put me on benzo and some of them put me polydrugged, but i didn't accept. as i told, i preffered to start a drug that i know-rem because it had a liquid type which is suitable for tapering. but i didn't know so much about the difficulties of tapering this. in these days, i was reading some success stories of buddies to get some morales and i was thanking to God most of the sxs who said-i didnt have. my main problems were intense headache-head pressure,dp/dr,anxiety. but then one month ago i hit the wall and i started to have some of them like palpitations,nausea,sleep probs etc. Palpitations produce a terrible anxiety that make sleep so bad or disturbed.

i have been asking myself why these probs came to the scene in these days: because of my cts or because of my ongoing taper. i know i suffer from wd of ct, but even if early days of ct, i didn't have a difficulty in sleeping, i didn't get nausea or palpitations. and as a result i am angry to myself why i started to this **** rem. sometimes i get morale looking at the ct's of benzo users healing or at least stabilization  in 6-7 months and sometimes i feel desperate because i made three drugs ct(fortunately for short time) and there arent many people do that. sometimes i compare it like that a benzo ct may be more powerful three ads ct but my receptors are looking for the three drug. i just need some relief (stabilization) and passing through 6th month, as if it gets worse day by day. i am like a bomb ready to explode because of tight chest related anx. is it really possible to getting stable or we are just beating the air?thank you for your interest...

[Altostrata]

Welcome, jun.

 

On 11/9/2019 at 2:32 AM, juneight said:

Then, after reaching to 12 mg, i listened them and now i have been holding it. I decided to go forward with that plan no matter how long it lasts. But, last week i started to take new sxs like nausea, diarrhera, gi issues, heart palps(1 months) which i never took them even in acute phase of my CTs. I think i lost the support from BB and came here to take some support. My anx. is bad and hardly i could go to the work. Every day, i consider to CT because of getting no stabilization.

 

What times of day do you take your drugs, and their dosages? What times of day do you get these symptoms?

 

Did you make any drug changes a week or so ago?

 

Are you taking Remeron for sleep? Does it help you sleep? What is your sleep pattern?

[juneight]

I am taking remeron at 11.5 mg at 9 pm. Yes, rem made my sleep stable except for some days. I haven't changed my dose app. 2 months. The only advance in my symptoms after ct is my head pressure lifted, but there are some new sxs who welcome. lol. i dont know what comes from what, in other words wd of ct or wd of rem. If it is wd of rem, i can clearly say that i never exp. such facts in even ct. Yesterday, i had a meeting at work with some managers and i thought i was having an anx. seizure. In these days, i experience the anx. almost all day. Trying to keep going, but anx. us so debilitiating. Is it a sign of healing? I dont know Alto. You are very kind. By the way, i am trying to get used to this site. In which part of this site can i write posts to take regular support. Thank you

[Sassenach]

Hi June

 

You should post on here to chat with other members.

How are you feeling now?

 

Sassenach

[Santino]

Hi Juneight

I believe you will be good my friend. I red your story and i found myself in many of your symptoms. If i was you i would hold still at 11.5 MG until i feel stable enough. Now it will be Christmas and New Year and that period is a bit stressful for people so i would not advice some tapering to lower level until January. If you are feeling ok you can continue though but if i was you i would hold until January to be stable enough. Work for me was almost impossible tooo but i never quit. I used to go to work every day during my taper and WD.... even when almost CT from benzo i continued to go to work. Of course i was not productive most of the time, but i would use my good time to do something and make my self heard at work. I do not know whether you red my success story... try to check it out and i hop it will give you some hope. 

Stay the course buddy, you will make it.

 

[juneight]

Thank you, both of you Sassenach and Santino. Even in the acute phase of my CT, i never experienced these complaints that i have now. I think i have ct's symptoms plus remeron's initial taper pace. By the way, it doesnt matter which is which, the reality is that i am not stable. The only relief for me is lifted head pressure. I can order my big complaints debilitiating anxiety(as if it makes me go crazy), chest pressure, some adrenal issues and histamine problems(burning,itch etc) in order to importance. I am trying to hold at this dose but sometimes it is like that beating the air. Did you live such feeling? I hope it soothes in new year as Santino said. Yes Santino, i read your story and success stories on BB. In this condition, people tend to think they are alone in this journey because of so many variables like CNS difference, drug history etc. I ct'd 3 drugs fortunately they were for 15 days, before that my CNS was already sensitive. Now, i try to keep my mind busy and just take Mag glycinate. Santino, when i look your sign, as if you followed a fast and unregular work, did you keep going symptom based and how long did it take to get stable before tapering? Thank you.

[juneight]

although i hold my dose for 3 months, why do i get a terrible anx. related to throat, upper chest and face?

any comment is appreciated...

[juneight]

Hello buddies. Please give your valuable support to me as you did in the past. While waiting my anx. for soothing, as if it came to the a shape of worse kind. As you see from my sign, i threw my cns to a mess totally. But fortunately, i didnt have too much sxs excluding anx., head pressure etc. At the second month of ct, i started rem 15 and started also tapering. Starting tapering was a mistake, but i accepted the objections and stopped tapering. Now as you see i am holding at 11 mg, but i couldnt experience -one step forward five step back, two step forward four step back,...- my anx. has been supported by tight chest and throat for 1 months and still goin on. I try to do meditation for relief.

 

The other factor that breaks my hopes is some movements(not zaps) in my brain. I can clearly feel these movements sometimes that give me anxiety and muscle tightness around my face and throat. I should keep it in my mind that is because of healing, but i dont understand these movements and anxiety seven months after ct. Even in the acute i didnt get such weird things. Someone can explain why i suffer from this?

 

The other thing is that. Could i start tapering again in a slow pace like 0.15mg/week? This corresponds to app 5% rate monthly. Not too much. Anyway i think to start again tapering in such a small dose even if i feel this terrible anx. Please chime in my friends and make me feel not alone...

[Sassenach]

Hi June

 

Sorry no time now, will reply tomorrow.

 

Do not taper until I have chance to check

 

Sass

[Sassenach]

Hi June

22 hours ago, juneight said:

The other factor that breaks my hopes is some movements(not zaps) in my brain. I can clearly feel these movements sometimes that give me anxiety and muscle tightness around my face and throat. I should keep it in my mind that is because of healing, but i dont understand these movements and anxiety seven months after ct. Even in the acute i didnt get such weird things. Someone can explain why i suffer from this?

You are answering your own questions correctly.

W/D is random, we have no idea which symptoms will hit or when, just know they will pass.

To give you an idea what our brains have to cope with read the following quote,

  On 12/3/2015 at 3:41 PM, apace41 said:

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made.

 

and this,

On 8/30/2011 at 8:28 PM, Rhiannon said:

When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.

 

Please also read the stabilisation section on here

about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

Your symptoms have been changing and while they may be distressing, they mean your brain is doing it's best to catch up.

Time and patience are the only healers and you cannot set a schedule.

It took me 6 months after CT and reinstatement to become stable enough to begin a taper.

If you began a taper, no matter how small, you would put a further burden on your CNS ( central nervous system ).

If you spend some time on here and chat to other members you will see you are certainly not alone.

On 11/16/2019 at 9:23 AM, juneight said:

In which part of this site can i write posts to take regular support. Thank you

You can read and post on other member's threads, everyone is very friendly.

 

To conclude the only thing you currently do is the hardest ie. nothing.

You will stabilise in due course.

Please post regular updates on here and I will receive a notification

 

Sass

 

[Rhiannon]

It sounds like you are alarmed by the emergence of new symptoms even though you have  been staying on the same dose of drugs.

 

It is very important to realize that the effects of stopping any psychiatric medication are NOT going to be just felt immediately. In fact, it appears that the early symptoms, the initial acute withdrawal, is actually the least of it, for most people. We don't really understand what is going on in the nervous system, because the long term aftereffects of quitting psychiatric medications have not been studied at all. But everyone working in this field has observed that actually the worst symptoms generally don't hit until at least 3 months after a too-fast taper or CT, and sometimes longer, like up to a year. 

 

So actually the emergence of new symptoms after a CT, even many months later, is pretty normal. Doctors don't understand this, so they say it's a relapse of the original condition, even though it's usually quite different from the original condition and much more intense and extreme.  Often, here on this forum, we see people blaming the medications that they are still on, assuming it must be something that they are taking that is causing their suffering.

 

The best thing you can do right now, in my opinion, is to stop changing anything.  Any changes you make now are just going to make things worse. What you are experiencing now is due to changes that you made in the past, not due to something you are doing today.

 

 

[juneight]

Thankv you for your valuable support.@Sassenach @Rhiannon. I am waiting this support as you can possible.

 

My problem is in these days is anx. It is a kind of peacelessness with tight chest, throat and face muscles and nerves. Could i name it as a wave? But it has been almost two months.Before this i had incredible palps and they lasted in one month.

 

My friends, waiting in this condition is terrible. You dont know the point where the issues disappear and this process make you blame the current medication. This also makes you feel a little panicky. Apart from that, one side of me says going down with a pace of 0.15 mg/week dont make so much trouble. Am i wrong? Because my only trouble is anx. and tight muscles and nerves.

Thank you again...

[Sassenach]

Hi June

 

@Rhiannon has explained your situation very well.

 

8 hours ago, juneight said:

It is a kind of peacelessness with tight chest, throat and face muscles and nerves

These are normal symptoms of W/D, and you are in withdrawal.

Tapering, even by a small amount while unstable, will make matters worse.

We feel helpless and want to be proactive but the only achievement of change will be a worsening of your condition.

Symptoms will change and evolve as you stabilise.

Please follow the following link which will help you learn to cope with the symptoms.

symptoms-and-self-care/

9 hours ago, juneight said:

this process make you blame the current medication.

As Rhiannon explained your current meds have little to do with how you feel now, which is why you should not change at present.

They will however govern how you feel going forward as your CNS settles around this consistent dose.

You will get better but it will take time.

Keep in touch.

 

Sass

[juneight]

@Sassenach @Rhiannonhi again, i have still been experiencing this movements and tightness around my face,throat and upperchest. When i had palpitations, i knew that it would pass, because a body would not bear that long time. And they passed in one month. But, the movs and the tightness that i feel as if they would never go away:) This is a little hard and discouaring. Have you lived such things?Anyway i still holding. One more thing, as if it would never end in the whole process, but whilst having palpitations i never felt panicky. In this days, i feel myself a little panicky upon ongoing thoughts in my mind. Thats absoulety related to feeling of being stuck with tight muscles around face, throat and chest. Am i right?

 

One more question is that; you know a ex rem taper buddy/buddies whom i can communicate by labelling him/her?

[Sassenach]

Hi June

 

Will reply by 7pm uk time.

 

Sass

[Sassenach]

Hi June

 

2 hours ago, juneight said:

i have still been experiencing this movements and tightness around my face,throat and upperchest. When i had palpitations, i knew that it would pass

These are no different to the palpitations, just some of the physical sensations caused by W/D as I type this I have numbness and tingling in my legs and a stiff shoulder.

2 hours ago, juneight said:

Thats absoulety related to feeling of being stuck with tight muscles around face, throat and chest. Am i right?

Can't answer that unequivocally but we all feel unsure about what we do not understand.

Something that works for me,

On 4/27/2017 at 7:03 PM, brassmonkey said:

 

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try.

2 hours ago, juneight said:

One more question is that; you know a ex rem taper buddy/buddies whom i can communicate by labelling him/her?

Just type " Remeron taper" into the seach box and you will see many member's threads.

You will find members more than happy to discuss and help each other.

 

Sass

[juneight]

@Sassenach if anx. wasnt supported by them i wouldnt worry. Have you also had them and did you have setbacks after ct

[Sassenach]

3 minutes ago, juneight said:

wasnt supported by them

They will come and go, remember this

the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

4 minutes ago, juneight said:

Have you also had them and did you have setbacks after ct

[Sassenach]

7 minutes ago, juneight said:

Have you also had them and did you have setbacks after ct

I have and still have but much less than they used to be be.

I reinstated March 19 and a m just beginning my taper.

3 hours ago, juneight said:

And they passed in one month

These too will pass.

Patience is the only cure.

Sass

[juneight]

Please help me my buddies. I am experiencing the worst anx. of this process. With the intention of soothing little, i searched a lot and ordered a CBD oil. This evening i started to take it with microdosing. But looking at the comments written on internet, it is said that it may interact Gaba receptors and things may even worse. Also looking on the lots of people who didnt start CBD in spite of intense suffering, am i the only smart! person who think it as a solution? It also could be possible to reach tolerance. I am confused, suffering the worst of this process. Now i am on the side of not using it. Please tell me it will pass with waiting. @Sassenach@Rhiannon and others please tell me something.

[juneight]

hi everybody. i started to take panicky feelings and this makes my morale so low. although i hold my dose app. for 5 months, why am i getting this cruel anx. and panick?what am i supposed to do?where will i start tapering again or may i start tapering again?please give me some suggestions. @Shep @apace41@Sassenach@Altostrata@scallywag@Rhiannon

[Shep]

June, please post what drugs you're currently taking, the dose, and what time of day you take each of them. 

[juneight]

@shep it is what you see from my signure is.just taking remeron 11 mg at 9 pm each day. upon suggestions i have been holding at 11 mg for 5 months, but now i feel myself stucked with the feeling of being panicky. i have never felt panicky in my life, even in wd. i have left 8,5 months after my unpleasant CT. is this feeling temporary?what should i do?

[Shep]

Are you currently taking any supplements? If so, please list them.

 

Has anything else changed, such as job, living arrangements, etc.? Are you eating a healthy diet and drinking plenty of water? 

 

When does the panicky feeling start? How is your sleep? 

 

7 hours ago, juneight said:

just taking remeron 11 mg at 9 pm each day.

 

Your signature states 11.5 mg. When did you reduce to 11 mg? 

[juneight]

hi @Shepagain. i am taking only magnesium glycinate. in fact, it didnt work but i continue to take it. and now i am trying CBD occasionally burt i dont get relief. nothing changed in these times. i dont have a stressful job and i have a conscious wife. although i have had bad anx.during all time after the ct, i have started to take panicky feeling since new year. in the other words, lat one month has been a real challenge for me. for the making process, i started to trim doses two weeks ago weekly and now i am at 11 mg. but i dont think this mess isnt related to these cuts. i think this is related to my brain mess and try to work balance, but i really suffer.

yes i try to work low histamine diet since starting remeron. in spite of this diet, i suffer from skin rashes and burning. My sleep is not perfect but i am sleeping with one or two breasks at most. i feel myself panicky when the thoughts attack, before that they were attacking me in wd, but i knew they were just thought and making meditations. What should i do? I want to start tapering again but i feel myself trapped.thank you for your interest. please you and others assist me all the time..

[Shep]

21 hours ago, juneight said:

i feel myself panicky when the thoughts attack, before that they were attacking me in wd, but i knew they were just thought and making meditations. What should i do?

 

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of anxious and intrusive thoughts. It's important to learn to let them pass like clouds in the sky. There's no need to interact with these thoughts. It's just withdrawal, nothing more. Please see:

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

Withdrawal causing intrusive or repetitive thoughts, rumination, and increased panic?

 

You may find guided sleep meditations on YouTube to be very helpful to listen to at night. Here's an example of one: 

 

Guided Meditation Deep sleep | anxiety and insomnia relief | relaxation before bedtime video (21 minutes)

 

22 hours ago, juneight said:

i am taking only magnesium glycinate. in fact, it didnt work but i continue to take it. and now i am trying CBD occasionally burt i dont get relief.

 

You may be getting some paradoxical reactions, especially if you're taking the magnesium glycinate and / or CBD when you take Remeron. The more you depress the nervous system with sedating drugs and / or supplements, the more the nervous system fights to stay alert. 

 

22 hours ago, juneight said:

i started to trim doses two weeks ago weekly and now i am at 11 mg.

 

Please update your signature to reflect your latest reduction. A direct link to your signature is here:

 

Account Settings - Create or Update Your Signature

 

 

[juneight]

Thanks @shep. What am i supposed to do? Should i hold the dose? My anx. is really debilitating.

[Shep]

Please see my previous post for ideas on coping. Also, you may want to look into Dr. Claire Weekes work on handling anxiety.

 

Dr. Claire Weekes - How to Recover from Anxiety

 

You can also find a number of her talks out on YouTube:

 

Dr. Claire Weekes - YouTube list

 

Yes, you should hold for now until you stabilize. This will also give you time to work on these non-drug methods of handling these anxious feelings. 

[juneight]

Although i hold my dose stable on 11 mg and take care about the low histamin foods, i am gettin serious skin rashes. Have you ever get such rashes and when did they attack in taper? While holding or reducing? If the things go worse from rashes to wounds, is there a solution for switching remeron to other drug? @Sassenach @Shep

[Shep]

If the symptom is from withdrawal, switching to another drug may make it worse. 

 

Please see:

 

Skin issues: hives, acne, dryness, itching etc.

 

I used ice packs to get through this phase of withdrawal and you'll find other remedies in that thread. 

[juneight]

Hi everybody, as you see i have been holding for a long time to stabilize my only sx anx. For the reason that it hasnt soothed, i started to make some trials and have decided to push it tiny amounts as you see. When i was pushing it in the start of February, anxiety has turned to an awful shape that i can describe it i can feel my face nerves clearly. This is not completely anx. or nerve pain. Is there anyone who lived this face nerves discomfort in the past? They are so dynamic.

 

I know my brain is still working to reach homeostasis, but this disturbance is so hard. However i want to push my taper until this feeling pass. My only big prob. is this weird face nerve disturbance. I left the palps, i left the head pressure, so i should left this too.

 

What can you say about that my friends?

[Shep]

From your signature, it looks like you just made small reductions on March 18 and March 25. 

 

If your symptoms are getting worse, you may want to updose to where you were on either of those dates. The reductions were small, but if the pain is severe, you may need to hold longer. 

[juneight]

 

Shep, i think and i also hope i am living tenth month wave. @brassmonkey@Shep

A passage from SA. Could it be right? I have just turned the 10th month and i am living the hardest anxiety of this process. The anx. that i complained months ago is a piece of cake compared to this. I hope this is real and i get through this ****. Anyone attend?

"The ten-month wave will typically hit very hard and very fast.  Flaring up unexpectedly overnight.  It is common for this wave to be severe for two to five weeks before it ends.  Sometimes it ends as quickly as it started while in other cases it tapers off over several days.  There is frequently a similar but less severe wave that hits again at twelve months and in some cases, another in the eighteen-month range.  The latter two tend to be less severe in each case. Lately I’ve been hearing about another wave that happens about the three-year mark, but I haven’t been able to find out much about it.

These waves, particularly the ten-month wave, are important milestones if they occur.  In most cases they are a marker of great improvements and are followed by a large rise in the RecoveryNormal baseline that a person experiences. RecoveryNormal being the post “0” equivalent to WDnormal which is the baseline during the tapering phase.  The RecoveryNormal baseline will continue to improve over the next several years until some semblance of full normality is achieved." 

 

 

[brassmonkey]

Hi Juneight-- The ten, twelve and eighteen months waves that I talk about in the article that you quoted actually happen after a person has stopped taking their drugs. It is a typical pattern for the post "0" time frame.  Because you are still on the drug, according to your signature, this would be a wave from the "windows and waves pattern while tapering".  These waves can be just as intense, can start just a quickly, but tend to last longer.  They do resolve in time.  I think it has more to do with the fast taper you did last year catching up with you.  Frequently there will be a delayed reaction to a fast taper that will hit many months later.  For the time being it would be a good idea to hold at your current dose until the wave passes, then wait a few more weeks before starting to taper again.

 

The anxiety from the wave can be very unpleasant, but it won't actually harm you.  Because it is caused by the drugs and is not natural anxiety there is very little that can be done to reduce it.  Acceptance and moving forward are about the best things to do. Try doing a site search on AAF, that will give you information that will help get you through this.