Snorky: Reinstatement of amitriptyline

[Snorky]

Further update if anyone's interested. 

 

Last night slept a bit better, less mental anguish and nerve pain in legs. Then wake up and combo of anxiety and awful depressive feelings, thinking about husband and son being off today.  A,so had massive depression epiiside yesterday, and anxious about that recurring.

[Sleepan]

Feeling good that you are feeling good @Snorky  I had three weird days/nights.  I did not eat since lunch yesterday.  I stopped my supplements for now.  I slept easy 8:30pm-3:30am.  Staying away from sugar for a while.  Intermittent fasting with just one satisfying healthy meal (homemade vegs bio meat, great tasty recipes) and just some water or herbal teas.  Relax my guts. 

 

I'm interested in Vitamin D.  Are you satisfied with the brand you chose?  

 

Looking forward to read you.

[Snorky]

7 minutes ago, Sleepan said:

Feeling good that you are feeling good @Snorky  I had three weird days/nights.  I did not eat since lunch yesterday.  I stopped my supplements for now.  I slept easy 8:30pm-3:30am.  Staying away from sugar for a while.  Intermittent fasting with just one satisfying healthy meal (homemade vegs bio meat, great tasty recipes) and just some water or herbal teas.  Relax my guts. 

 

I'm interested in Vitamin D.  Are you satisfied with the brand you chose?  

 

Looking forward to read you.

My Doc prescribed Vit D about two months ago. Unfortunately hasn’t made any difference to the deteriorating symptoms, Gist:

 

Mental

Regular depressive feelings. 

Anhedonia type feeling that robs me of any initial motivation and then enjoyment from the “distraction “,

Awful inner restlessness.

Mental tension that disrupts sleep and contributes to the anhedonia stuff.

 

Physical

Head tremors

Nerve pain emanating from both lower legs and feet.

Insomnia

Stomach churning throughput night.

 

I know we’re all different and have our own unique WD symptoms. 

 

God bless

[Sleepan]

@Snorky  Are you still taking Vitamin D?  Vitamin D is tricky as the body store it and you can soon have too much of Vitamin  D and if you do, it cause nausea and stomach cramps, feeling weak and tired.  It also diminish the efficiency of other vitamins if there's too much Vitamin D.  If I was you, I would ask the doctor for a blood test to check, or you could ask to stop it.  Spring is coming and Winter Sun is getting very strong.  Taking the sunlight for 15 minutes can give you all the Vitamin D you need, naturally, yes?

 

I just had 3 days being depressed and feeling hopeless, so I know that in those periods, it is hard to believe Meditation or Yoga or Exercice can help your mental, but it will help even if you do not feel like doing it but do it anyhow.  Eating healthy is great but it is not all.  Mental food & exercice is important.  I had no food since yesterday noon and I'm not hungry.  I slept a little longer (6hrs) and my brain is hurting less today.  I'll just have an homemade veg juice and a soup at noon, and nothing else except an herbal tea or lemon tea until tomorrow.  My fast lasts almost 23hours. Maybe the wave was ending anyhow, and it is not the fast, but I think I was snacking too much since a few weeks on sugar and carbs (homemade cakes, bread and potatoes).  I'll update, if you do not mind, on how it goes in a few days or weeks.

 

Work on adding more on what has helped you to feel better yesterday, Snorky.  I'm sure you'll heal.  Sometimes, it is when we feel the worst, that some solutions appear suddenly.  It will happen.

[Snorky]

6 minutes ago, Sleepan said:

@Snorky  Are you still taking Vitamin D?  Vitamin D is tricky as the body store it and you can soon have too much of Vitamin  D and if you do, it cause nausea and stomach cramps, feeling weak and tired.  It also diminish the efficiency of other vitamins if there's too much Vitamin D.  If I was you, I would ask the doctor for a blood test to check, or you could ask to stop it.  Spring is coming and Winter Sun is getting very strong.  Taking the sunlight for 15 minutes can give you all the Vitamin D you need, naturally, yes?

 

I just had 3 days being depressed and feeling hopeless, so I know that in those periods, it is hard to believe Meditation or Yoga or Exercice can help your mental, but it will help even if you do not feel like doing it but do it anyhow.  Eating healthy is great but it is not all.  Mental food & exercice is important.  I had no food since yesterday noon and I'm not hungry.  I slept a little longer (6hrs) and my brain is hurting less today.  I'll just have an homemade veg juice and a soup at noon, and nothing else except an herbal tea or lemon tea until tomorrow.  My fast lasts almost 23hours. Maybe the wave was ending anyhow, and it is not the fast, but I think I was snacking too much since a few weeks on sugar and carbs (homemade cakes, bread and potatoes).  I'll update, if you do not mind, on how it goes in a few days or weeks.

 

Work on adding more on what has helped you to feel better yesterday, Snorky.  I'm sure you'll heal.  Sometimes, it is when we feel the worst, that some solutions appear suddenly.  It will happen.

Thanks S 

 

I’ve no idea what helped me yesterday? It was only tiny improvement re sleep and was followed by massive depression and anxiety wave throughout rest of today (latter mental tension which makes conversation and understanding hard) 

 

Vit D- was prescribed following blood tests as came back as low. Not sure it can do any harm, but just not helping. The other query for me is supplements. Have held off up to now, but think I’m going to have to try Mag and Omega 3 to see if help b4 inevitable reintroduction of venlafaxine.

 

Thanks

[Sleepan]

@Snorky   Vit D is ok then.  Great plan to try Mag & Omega 3.  

 

May I suggest you include also Lion's Mane mushroom.  I'm ordering it today myself.  Lion's Mane's is powerful for brains.  Host Defense has good quality mushrooms.  Lion's Mane reduce inflammation in the brain and repair neurons. 

 

Venlafaxine is also called Effexor.  Amitriptyline is marketed under dozens of names.  It is confusing.  

 

I'll update on how I like Lion's Mane.  Allow up to 2-3 weeks until it is delivered to me and I try it.

 

I wish you a good evening.

 

 

[Snorky]

Further update

 

Feb 19

 

Ok night. However,  husband leaves for work at 7, having had some time off. Was dreading this.

 

Even though son in next bedroom, have the worst depression/anxiety/restlessness/loneliness feelings imaginable. No rest or distraction.  Probably a combination of all four, but restlessness v palpable. Had to get up, but still no respite.

 

Is this phenomenon common?

 

Thanks

[Snorky]

Further, further update. 

 

Had second 121 therapy session today. In view of my deteriorating WD symptoms, (we discussed these in detail in first session) therapist is recommending stopping sessions. (Should be six sessions)

 

Has given me range of meditation/mindfulness type exercises, breathing and behaviour changing exercises. Acknowledges scope for these to alleviate symptoms, but thinks further sessions would be difficult in view of my raw condition.

 

Has anyone else confronted this situation?

 

Thank you

[mstimc]

16 minutes ago, Snorky said:

Further, further update. 

 

Had second 121 therapy session today. In view of my deteriorating WD symptoms, (we discussed these in detail in first session) therapist is recommending stopping sessions. (Should be six sessions)

 

Has given me range of meditation/mindfulness type exercises, breathing and behaviour changing exercises. Acknowledges scope for these to alleviate symptoms, but thinks further sessions would be difficult in view of my raw condition.

 

Has anyone else confronted this situation?

 

Thank you

 

Hi Snorky.  I'm not sure I understand.  Is he saying somehow you're not ready for therapy?  That doesn't make any sense to me.

[Snorky]

1 minute ago, mstimc said:

 

Hi Snorky.  I'm not sure I understand.  Is he saying somehow you're not ready for therapy?  That doesn't make any sense to me.

Hi M

It’s complicated. He did another “assessment” using their template. Came out as severely depressed and anxious, which is no surprise to anyone. Either I’m in too poor a state, physically, or too overwhelmed with the WD symptoms to properly engage with the all the requirements of the various therapies. I think?

[mstimc]

Just now, Snorky said:

Hi M

It’s complicated. He did another “assessment” using their template. Came out as severely depressed and anxious, which is no surprise to anyone. Either I’m in too poor a state, physically, or too overwhelmed with the WD symptoms to properly engage with the all the requirements of the various therapies. I think?

 

I'd get a new therapist.  All he is doing is reinforcing your fears that you're so uniquely bad off only meds and his list of mindfulness exercises will help.  Without regular appointments how is he even going to know if you're making progress or getting worse?  

[Snorky]

10 minutes ago, mstimc said:

 

I'd get a new therapist.  All he is doing is reinforcing your fears that you're so uniquely bad off only meds and his list of mindfulness exercises will help.  Without regular appointments how is he even going to know if you're making progress or getting worse?  

I agree. I told humbly I was disappointed and valued the benefit of the regular appointments (fortnightly) I may have made a rod for my own back by launching into examples of how sh##te I feel and that’s its going downhill. I can’t get rid, as the sessions are procured by my employer.  He is going to speak to colleagues, and does understand my position. 

 

I guess you wouldn’t expect this sort of response, purely due to the subject being in WD?

[mstimc]

6 minutes ago, Snorky said:

I agree. I told humbly I was disappointed and valued the benefit of the regular appointments (fortnightly) I may have made a rod for my own back by launching into examples of how sh##te I feel and that’s its going downhill. I can’t get rid, as the sessions are procured by my employer.  He is going to speak to colleagues, and does understand my position. 

 

I guess you wouldn’t expect this sort of response, purely due to the subject being in WD?

No, I wouldn't expect such a response from any ethical therapist.  That's his job and you're not a hopeless case by any stretch of the imagination.

[Snorky]

5 minutes ago, mstimc said:

No, I wouldn't expect such a response from any ethical therapist.  That's his job and you're not a hopeless case by any stretch of the imagination.

Thank you. I appreciate it. He did say my circumstances not analogous to his other clients. (V wide range, mostly medicated, Benzos/ADs, PTSD etc)

[mstimc]

2 minutes ago, Snorky said:

Thank you. I appreciate it. He did say my circumstances not analogous to his other clients. (V wide range, mostly medicated, Benzos/ADs, PTSD etc)

Yes, that's my point.  The more you convince yourself and allow others to convince you that your symptoms are different or worse that everyone else's, the farther you get from recovery.   Your symptoms are what they are.  You need to ask yourself what you're going to do about them.  For a professional to tell you that you're outside the pale of effective therapy is unconscionable. Nobody is beyond recovery. 

[Snorky]

40 minutes ago, mstimc said:

Yes, that's my point.  The more you convince yourself and allow others to convince you that your symptoms are different or worse that everyone else's, the farther you get from recovery.   Your symptoms are what they are.  You need to ask yourself what you're going to do about them.  For a professional to tell you that you're outside the pale of effective therapy is unconscionable. Nobody is beyond recovery. 

Odd thing is, he wasn’t advocating I go back on meds. Was hopeful that techniques would help.

[mstimc]

3 minutes ago, Snorky said:

Odd thing is, he wasn’t advocating I go back on meds. Was hopeful that techniques would help.

So what did he tell you, to go home and practice management techniques but not check back in with him?  

[Snorky]

7 minutes ago, mstimc said:

So what did he tell you, to go home and practice management techniques but not check back in with him?  

 

7 minutes ago, mstimc said:

So what did he tell you, to go home and practice management techniques but not check back in with him?  

Essentially, yes. Thanks 

[mstimc]

1 minute ago, Snorky said:

 

Essentially, yes. Thanks 

 

Then he's useless.  You need support and affirmation and someone you can count on seeing on a regular basis.  

[Snorky]

32 minutes ago, mstimc said:

 

Then he's useless.  You need support and affirmation and someone you can count on seeing on a regular basis.  

It is true that I feel dreadful now. Trying to stay positive, but lots of ruminating and worrying. 

[Snorky]

Hi M

 

Reaching out to you as feel desperate now and v few responding.

 

Last night was awful. Awake till about 4am with crippling head sensations, stomach churning and nerve pain in legs. How on earth do I get from here to WD normal?

 

Thsnks

[mstimc]

Hi Snorky.  Looking back at your posts, I’m wondering if you can articulate what you hope to accomplish with withdrawal and recovery.  A lot of your posts are asking if certain symptoms are signs of withdrawal, and when someone says they are, you find another symptom to ask about.  You also want affirmation that your problems are chemically related.
 

I’m not trying to give you a hard time, but if all you want is assurance your symptoms are withdrawal-related, you are doing yourself a disservice.  Try to change your focus to adopting positive mental habits and managing your thoughts, instead on doing inventories of everything that’s wrong with you.  I’m 59 years old and my body is constantly reminding me of my age, but it doesn’t stop me from doing things.  At some point, recovery becomes a choice in how you choose to approach your life.

[Snorky]

33 minutes ago, mstimc said:

Hi Snorky.  Looking back at your posts, I’m wondering if you can articulate what you hope to accomplish with withdrawal and recovery.  A lot of your posts are asking if certain symptoms are signs of withdrawal, and when someone says they are, you find another symptom to ask about.  You also want affirmation that your problems are chemically related.
 

I’m not trying to give you a hard time, but if all you want is assurance your symptoms are withdrawal-related, you are doing yourself a disservice.  Try to change your focus to adopting positive mental habits and managing your thoughts, instead on doing inventories of everything that’s wrong with you.  I’m 59 years old and my body is constantly reminding me of my age, but it doesn’t stop me from doing things.  At some point, recovery becomes a choice in how you choose to approach your life.

Hi M

 

Thanks for swift response. Guilty as charged on the “reassurance” seeking. We’re about the same age, but perhaps my situation compounded due to the long history on different ADs. 

 

Its not just listing symptoms, more a cry for help and practical advice when symptoms deteriorating (insomnia), after “non drug techniques adopted”?

 

 

[Snorky]

It’s also about reaching out for help when in midst of constant waves, doom cloud etc. I think other people also do that.

[Snorky]

I should have added that I get s massive boost from both success stories and the personal advise offered. I go around the house saying “it’s withdrawal syndrome, the symptoms are common and they will improve”. I hope this will assist positive thinking, along with the other techniques I use.

 

Thanks again.

[Snorky]

7 hours ago, mstimc said:

Hi Snorky.  Looking back at your posts, I’m wondering if you can articulate what you hope to accomplish with withdrawal and recovery.  A lot of your posts are asking if certain symptoms are signs of withdrawal, and when someone says they are, you find another symptom to ask about.  You also want affirmation that your problems are chemically related.
 

I’m not trying to give you a hard time, but if all you want is assurance your symptoms are withdrawal-related, you are doing yourself a disservice.  Try to change your focus to adopting positive mental habits and managing your thoughts, instead on doing inventories of everything that’s wrong with you.  I’m 59 years old and my body is constantly reminding me of my age, but it doesn’t stop me from doing things.  At some point, recovery becomes a choice in how you choose to approach your life.

Hi M

 

Missed your request for articulation of my hopes for withdrawal and recovery;

 

Stabilisation of symptoms to WD normal.

Improve sleep (necessary anyway, but also essential to sustain return to work)

Achieve an improvement in anxiety and depression to cope with work.

Get medical view on nerve pain in legs to see if red herring. (Degenerative disc disease)

Accept mood change and adopt necessary coping strategies.

Exploit all the non drug techniques, particularly 121 therapy to manage negative thoughts.

Become better at managing relationship with husband and son.

 

 

Is this ok?

 

Thank you.

 

[mstimc]

1 hour ago, Snorky said:

Hi M

 

Missed your request for articulation of my hopes for withdrawal and recovery;

 

Stabilisation of symptoms to WD normal.

Improve sleep (necessary anyway, but also essential to sustain return to work)

Achieve an improvement in anxiety and depression to cope with work.

Get medical view on nerve pain in legs to see if red herring. (Degenerative disc disease)

Accept mood change and adopt necessary coping strategies.

Exploit all the non drug techniques, particularly 121 therapy to manage negative thoughts.

Become better at managing relationship with husband and son.

 

 

Is this ok?

 

Thank you.

 

 

Hi Snorky.

 

These are great goals!  Keep your focus on them.  Just keep trying--you will find the right coping tools if you keep trying and know what you want at the end of the road. 

[Snorky]

Hi All

 

This is not yet another inventory of ever increasing symptoms, nor seeking reassurance that it’s WD.

 

It’s simply this. Gracias y adios for all the great advice and support received. I’ve decided to reinstate 37.5mg Effexor as recommended by my Doc. (He also wants me to see him in two weeks to review, no doubt also to increase to somewhere near previous dose. (150mg from 2010-2018

 

You will know I’ve ridden the wave and fought the good fight for over six months. I realise I made it difficult by stopping amitriptyline on 25mg, then waited too long to reinstate.

 

I’m certainly not the strongest or bravest, but I’ve done my best to cope, returned to work in the teeth of the gale and tried all manner of “non drug therapies”. (Latest being 121 therapy) I just can’t tolerate a second more of these awful, deteriorating symptoms. My acronym is DARSP for the symptoms:

 

Depression-unbearable black mood, no matter what the distraction. (Just came back from trip to get up close and feed tigers, but still felt physically and mentally crap) Also magnifying anything remotely dark out of all proportion- driving in dark, watching TV shows etc

Anxiety- manifests as permanent mental tension and sensations which prevents sleep, thinking, communicating, enjoying etc

Restlessness (inner) increasing over last few weeks, to exacerbate the depression and anxiety.

Shaking-in my case, head tremors which may be particular to tricyclic WD, previous ven, or WD?

Pain-in my case, nerve pain from both lower legs.

 

I’d be mortified if I thought I was close to seeing some cessation of symptoms, but they just seem to be intensifying.

 

I’d be equally mortified if I proved to be the only one on here unable to continue the fight, using coping and other skills.

 

I know the med route is far from risk free, kindling, stabilising etc, but it really can’t be worse than the status quo.

 

Thanks again to mods and senior members who have been patient, constructive and empathetic throughout.

 

God bless everyone here.

 

S

 

 

 

Edited February 23, 2020 by manymoretodays
reduced font size to 14, for ease of reading, mmt

[Katy398]

@Snorky

I read your PM titled ‘Saying my Goodbyes’

This is the worst fight any of us will ever have. Your decision to reinstate I know will not have been easy, my heart goes out to you. You don’t have to say goodbye though,  plenty of folk have reinstated,  stabilised and even begun a slow taper whilst remaining on this site, giving and receiving support. I’m not a mod and have no experience in reinstating, so I really can’t offer advice.

All I can say is that my first 6 months after CT were hell. At the 6 month mark  I had to cut all stress out of my job and stepped down from as many responsibilities at work as I could whilst being able to maintain my salary. This had a terrible effect on my self esteem but looking back it was the right thing to have done. I’d have ended up in more anguish had I not.

For some reason I do believe we all heal and that is what keeps me going.  I also know that some people have had much worse experiences than me. I was lucky I could accomodate my weight loss some can’t and get worryingly underweight. Some are so house bound they become ‘shut in’ 

Ultimately you know your own threshold and being brave enough to recognise that is a credit to you. Not easy. Please look up fellow SA folk who have reinstated, maybe they can share their experiences with you. 

Take care thinking of you, you’ll get through this no matter what. My thought are with you Kx🧡

 

[mstimc]

Hi Snorky

I fully agree with Katy. You're the best judge of what will work for you.  And please do come back to check in and get support when you need it!

[Snorky]

32 minutes ago, mstimc said:

Hi Snorky

I fully agree with Katy. You're the best judge of what will work for you.  And please do come back to check in and get support when you need it!

Ok thanks both. What I'm experiencing certainly isn't "common or garden WD", which was once famously described on here.

[Katy398]

I’m so sorry you are in the thick of it. I know it’s hard to believe that others are suffering the same. To be honest most of us would agree that there is nothing ‘  Common or Garden’ about this. It terrifying and debilitating.  I have never ever experienced anything close to this horror. Only someone who has first hand experience could understand  waking daily for months on end feeling an utter fear for life . You’re right there is nothing common or garden about the intensity and duration of some of these symptoms. They are shocking and I feel for all of us who are on this journey. Snorky I really do believe it’s the toughest challenge we’ll ever go through in our lives. At this moment in time I do believe those who’ve reached the other side who say we all heal eventually. Wind back five hours when my anxiety had reduced me to tears maybe I didn’t believe it then.  WD is different for us all and changes moment by moment. You’ll find a way,  you really will.  There are folk here who are trying to help. Take care, my thoughts are with you. Even though in WD our brain is constantly misfiring and sending negative messages please  try to believe you are not alone,  even though your mind may be telling you otherwise K🧡

[Snorky]

12 minutes ago, Katy398 said:

I’m so sorry you are in the thick of it. I know it’s hard to believe that others are suffering the same. To be honest most of us would agree that there is nothing ‘  Common or Garden’ about this. It terrifying and debilitating.  I have never ever experienced anything close to this horror. Only someone who has first hand experience could understand  waking daily for months on end feeling an utter fear for life . You’re right there is nothing common or garden about the intensity and duration of some of these symptoms. They are shocking and I feel for all of us who are on this journey. Snorky I really do believe it’s the toughest challenge we’ll ever go through in our lives. At this moment in time I do believe those who’ve reached the other side who say we all heal eventually. Wind back five hours when my anxiety had reduced me to tears maybe I didn’t believe it then.  WD is different for us all and changes moment by moment. You’ll find a way,  you really will.  There are folk here who are trying to help. Take care, my thoughts are with you. Even though in WD our brain is constantly misfiring and sending negative messages please  try to believe you are not alone,  even though your mind may be telling you otherwise K🧡

Cheers K

 

You are so kind, particularly with all your own issues. If I could bottle and share around these symptoms for just five minutes, I think there would perhaps be more empathy.

 

I’ll let you know how I get on. Initial Effexor will be 37.5mg, but Doc will want to increase to “therapeutic dose” of 150 mg. (Was on this for 10 years) At that dose, it would take me 250 years to do the 10% taper.

 

God bless.

[Rosetta]

@Snorky

 

*****EDIT:  Did you have a bad reaction to reinstating amyptriptaline?  If so, ignore my statements about trying that again, but please don’t take 37.5 mg of anything.  Taking tiny amounts to see if you have a bad reaction is very important.*****

 

I remember those horrid days well, and I completely understand that you “can’t continue this fight.”  What you do not yet understand is that adding a different drug is very, very likely to do nothing but hurt you more.  You have not taken Effexor since 2018?  

 

There is no machismo or honor cult involved in continuing med free or at least there should not be.  People who do it are simply trying to follow a harm reduction approach and it is equally ok to reinstate the MED you QUIT at a small dose.  That is also a harm reduction approach.  

 

What is not safe or advisable is to take a drug you have not used since 2018, and it is never safe to start with 37.5 mg of anything after developing this syndrome.   I’m going to say it: you are making a terrible mistake, but not one that many many intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderful people have not made.

 

It pains me greatly to see you take this route because it is exactly what I did.  I was living in fear and misery, and I trusted a doctor who gave me an enormous dose of Trazodone.  What I had experienced before that appointment was child’s play.  I don’t think there is merely a ”risk” that Effexor will hurt you; I believe it’s nearly certain.  And yes, the dose will be raised to 75 mg in short order.

 

If you have missed the window for reinstating amyptriptaline, and that will always be debatable as no one knows when that window closes for any particular person, does it make any logical sense to give your body a different drug after that window?  No.  If you want to see if a drug will help pull you out of hell, the safest thing to do is try the drug your body is accustomed to NOT something different.   To be clear, I don’t advocate, in general, reinstating late, but if the alternative in your mind is to pop a 37.5 mg capsule of Effexor in your mouth, then, by all means try amytriptaline again instead.  It would be safer.

 

Not to mention Effexor is a bear to stop.  You were lucky to have been far away from that beast.

 

I’m sorry to be so blunt, but having been through this myself I am so very angry that doctors are not educated about what to do and NOT do when people have akathisia and a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system caused by PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome).  Your entire peripheral nervous system is affected, and you should (we all should) have access to doctors who understand that further assaults on the nervous system by additional drugs is the wrong course of action.  I am beyond furious that PAWs from abrupt cessation of benzos is recognized by the medical community (as well as from alcohol and opiates), but that antidepressants are considered harmless. They are not harmless, they cause PAWS and the same careful handling of the nervous system is necessary after autonomic dysfunction occurs after ADs.

 

Please don’t make this mistake.  Try to see a neurologist, get diagnosed with akathisia, see doctors all you want if you feel you can trust the profession, but this particular doctor is leading you down the wrong road, Snorky.  I can’t sit here having walked that road and miraculously survived, and not speak my mind in an attempt to save you.

 

Rosetta

[Snorky]

33 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

@Snorky

 

*****EDIT:  Did you have a bad reaction to reinstating amyptriptaline?  If so, ignore my statements about trying that again, but please don’t take 37.5 mg of anything.  Taking tiny amounts to see if you have a bad reaction is very important.*****

 

I remember those horrid days well, and I completely understand that you “can’t continue this fight.”  What you do not yet understand is that adding a different drug is very, very likely to do nothing but hurt you more.  You have not taken Effexor since 2018?  

 

There is no machismo or honor cult involved in continuing med free or at least there should not be.  People who do it are simply trying to follow a harm reduction approach and it is equally ok to reinstate the MED you QUIT at a small dose.  That is also a harm reduction approach.  

 

What is not safe or advisable is to take a drug you have not used since 2018, and it is never safe to start with 37.5 mg of anything after developing this syndrome.   I’m going to say it: you are making a terrible mistake, but not one that many many intelligent, thoughtful, and wonderful people have not made.

 

It pains me greatly to see you take this route because it is exactly what I did.  I was living in fear and misery, and I trusted a doctor who gave me an enormous dose of Trazodone.  What I had experienced before that appointment was child’s play.  I don’t think there is merely a ”risk” that Effexor will hurt you; I believe it’s nearly certain.  And yes, the dose will be raised to 75 mg in short order.

 

If you have missed the window for reinstating amyptriptaline, and that will always be debatable as no one knows when that window closes for any particular person, does it make any logical sense to give your body a different drug after that window?  No.  If you want to see if a drug will help pull you out of hell, the safest thing to do is try the drug your body is accustomed to NOT something different.   To be clear, I don’t advocate, in general, reinstating late, but if the alternative in your mind is to pop a 37.5 mg capsule of Effexor in your mouth, then, by all means try amytriptaline again instead.  It would be safer.

 

Not to mention Effexor is a bear to stop.  You were lucky to have been far away from that beast.

 

I’m sorry to be so blunt, but having been through this myself I am so very angry that doctors are not educated about what to do and NOT do when people have akathisia and a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system caused by PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome).  Your entire peripheral nervous system is affected, and you should (we all should) have access to doctors who understand that further assaults on the nervous system by additional drugs is the wrong course of action.  I am beyond furious that PAWs from abrupt cessation of benzos is recognized by the medical community (as well as from alcohol and opiates), but that antidepressants are considered harmless. They are not harmless, they cause PAWS and the same careful handling of the nervous system is necessary after autonomic dysfunction occurs after ADs.

 

Please don’t make this mistake.  Try to see a neurologist, get diagnosed with akathisia, see doctors all you want if you feel you can trust the profession, but this particular doctor is leading you down the wrong road, Snorky.  I can’t sit here having walked that road and miraculously survived, and not speak my mind in an attempt to save you.

 

Rosetta

H R

 

Really appreciate your concern. Yep, tried to reinstate A, but had adverse reaction (2.5mg liquid form) Gridley advised me to stop.

 

The whole A experience was a disaster for me. On it for a year, mental debility, shakes, nerve pain, photosensitivity etc.

 

The rationale for reintroducing V is that I did “best” (relative) on it for longest (2010-2018) I was on 150mg for most of that period. I had crap period, anxiety, but I could function and work.

 

The worst symptomnfor me is horrible, black feelings/sensations. They trigger early morning, and manifest throughout the day. I dread going to bed due to the insomnia and then the inevitable depressive feelings to start the day. I also get the anxiety that many others have-mental tightness, cortisol spike, stomach churning, but have almost learnt to live with that.

 

God bless you for your interest and insight.

 

[Happy2Heal]

36 minutes ago, Snorky said:

The worst symptomnfor me is horrible, black feelings/sensations. They trigger early morning, and manifest throughout the day. I dread going to bed due to the insomnia and then the inevitable depressive feelings to start the day. I also get the anxiety that many others have-mental tightness, cortisol spike, stomach churning, but have almost learnt to live with that.

luv, whatever symptom you have at the moment is going to be the worst one

 

you got thru the other stuff, as you said, you have almost learnt to live with it

 

I know it's super hard, it's awful but you can do the same thing with these symptoms

 

we are so worried that you are going to make things much much  harder for yourself if you go ahead with this plan

 

your nervous system is WORKING well now, I know that's hard to believe but the changes in your symptoms are proof that recovery is going on, healing is truly happening in your brain right now

 

please please don't throw away all the work you've done so far to get to this point

 

you can get thru this, just do it one minute at a time.

that's all you need to do

 

just ONE minute at a time

 

don't look ahead, don't look back 

just live in the moment

 

 

that's all we ever really have, ok?

 

((gentle hugs))