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Kimboslice: hey everyone - 9 months into CT sertraline

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Kimboslice

Dear withdrawees ...  I hope i find you all well... Or at least amidst a window rather than a wave :D.

 

I've been scouring SA for some time now, picking up whatever bits of helpful and positive information i can about this horrific ordeal. I now feel its time to introduce myself and my history on AD's to the community with the hope of being provided with additional support and a view helping others in the future when this experience is more of a bad memory rather than a living hell . 

 

I have been taking Sertraline on and off for the last 6 years since 2013 after a series of horrific circumstances happened one after another. Despite the drugs having good effect, I've always been uncomfortable with masking what are obviously important emotions using a daily consumption of a drug. This has led me to unwittingly withdraw multiple times across the 6 year period which lead me to believe i was confined to a life of drug taking, this was until June  this year when I first found SA and became aware of SSRI withdrawal . Of course I was left somewhat shocked  but not surprised after feeling neglected previously on multiple occasions by the medical sector. Despite that though i found  a new sense of hope knowing that a life beyond drugs was not only possible, but likely.

 

 

 

Recent Drug History

OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING :(

 

MY SYMPTOMS: 

 

  • A thick brain fog 
  • Anxiety 
  • an inability to feel emotions / make connections with people 
  • Loss of communication skills & wit 
  • muscle weakness 
  • Fatigue

 

As I've said previously.... i am currently at the 9 month mark and I'm coping okay (I Think🤔 ) when i compare my battles to that of others.. but i am beginning to really struggle with the isolation that seems to be a natural part of the process. I have always naturally been an extroverted person who loves talking to people and being at the centre of attention although currently this couldn't be further from the truth and is taking a huge toll on my daily life. Every time I am confronted with some form of social situation my brain draws a blank. Its as if the lights are on but nobody's home.  WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CHARM AND CHARISMA?  

 

I wanted to ask for advice from anyone whose been in a similar situation:


What can i do right here and now to aid myself when dealing with these symptoms? 

If you've surpassed the 9 month point of withdrawal with these symptoms still rearing their ugly head, at what stage did you notice a marked improvement?

Has anyone any advice on how to work towards improving other areas of my life, such as love or working life and learning new skills whilst withdrawing? 

 

If you've made it this far thanks for reading and i look forward to any replies? 

 

Cheers 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Shep
updated title with new username and removed name from post

OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Gridley

Welcome to SA, Kimboslice.  

 

To deal with symptoms, we strongly recommend using non-drug techniques to cope.  Take a look at the items in this link and see which ones might be helpful to you.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

These links deal with coping with anxiety.

 

 
Social difficulties and social anxiety such as you describe,are common in withdrawal, as are the other symptoms you mentioned.  So that you may have a better understanding of what you're experiencing, here is some information on withdrawal.
 
 
 

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  
 
These explain it really well:

 

 

   On 8/30/2011 at 2:28 PM,  Rhiannon said: 
When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.

Regarding when you might notice marked improvement, everyone is different and unfortunately there is no reliable timeline.  You do sound as though you're coping well, and that is an encouraging sign. I encourage you to read some of our Success Stories to get an idea how others' withdrawals progressed.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

 

 

Please research all supplements first and only add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.
 
This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.
 

 

 

Edited by Shep
edited with member's new username

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Kimboslice
Quote
On 11/18/2019 at 1:46 PM, Gridley said:

Welcome to SA, Kimboslice.  

 

To deal with symptoms, we strongly recommend using non-drug techniques to cope.  Take a look at the items in this link and see which ones might be helpful to you.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

These links deal with coping with anxiety.

 

 
Social difficulties and social anxiety such as you describe,are common in withdrawal, as are the other symptoms you mentioned.  So that you may have a better understanding of what you're experiencing, here is some information on withdrawal.
 
 
 

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  
 
These explain it really well:

 

 

  On 8/30/2011 at 8:28 PM, Rhiannon said:
   On 8/30/2011 at 2:28 PM,  Rhiannon said: 
When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.

Regarding when you might notice marked improvement, everyone is different and unfortunately there is no reliable timeline.  You do sound as though you're coping well, and that is an encouraging sign. I encourage you to read some of our Success Stories to get an idea how others' withdrawals progressed.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

 

 

Please research all supplements first and only add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.
 
This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.
 

 

Hi Gridley,

 

Thanks for your welcoming and swift reply...

 

I'll have a read through the content you've supplied... its very much appreciated :D 👍

 

 

Edited by Shep
edited with member's new username

OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Markolo1980

Hi @Kimboslice Im happy you decided to introduce yourself. You seem very much like me and I do understand you. It’s been 5 months since my last taper which was to big and to fast. But from what I read, I think we are both doing pretty well....

Edited by Shep
edited tagged name with member's new username

2007-2015  10mg Lexapro ( escitalopram )

2015 november stopped cold turkey

2016 june - 2017 avgust 20mg Lexapro

cause it didn’t work for me anymore, psychiatrist  switched me to paxil

2017 avgust-  2019 february  40mg Paxil

2019 february lowered dose to 35 mg Paxil

2019 march lowered dose to 30 mg Paxil

2019 15.june lowered dose to 20mg Paxil

 

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Kimboslice

Hi @Markolo1980, Thanks for the support bud. Its a pleasure to finally speak to others who are also suffering and understand.. Its such a lonely journey in which you'll receive little sympathy form those around you so its great to be here. 


OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Altostrata

Welcome, Glyn. What are your most prominent post-acute withdrawal symptoms now?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Kimboslice

Hi @Altostrata, I’m so sorry. I  completely missed your question when you posted it. 
 

My most prominent symptoms are:

 

high anxiety

 

poor cognition

 

anhedonia 

 

heavy head and eyes

 

difficulty thinking and communicating (feels like stupidity).

 

in a sense I’m lucky because my physical symptoms are minimal:

 

Pssd


tittinus


I’m currently a midst a difficult wave which has ramped up the intensity over the last 12 days and remind me of the initial months when my symptoms first come on and it currently feels extremely uncomfortable and disheartening. The starting point of the wave coincides with a day over the festive period I went beyond my limits with social interaction and alcohol. This was unfortunately followed by a tooth infection (which involved taking antibiotics) and then a cold.

 

Prior to riding the current wave I’d say over the past 3 months I’ve seen forms of improvement in my symptoms in the usual slow and non-linear form which is positive.

 

I make the presumption this improvement followed by a wave is all in the norm though Alto? Despite how frustrating the bloody wave may be.

 


OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Kimboslice

Another quick question..

 

A friend of mine proposed to me the idea of taking elocution lessons to Improve my cognition and communicational difficulties and I’m intrigued to hear the opinions of others. Is the withdrawing brain likely to see benefit from such activities??

 

Many times I’ve seen withdrawal referred to as a brain injury on this site so I was thinking, if a person had suffered a recognised brain injury and their speech had suffered, surely any consultant would place the patient in some form of speech therapy.

 

Does anyone agree this could make a case that using a similar approach could provide positive results from a withdrawing brain?

 

 


OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Icip

Hi @Kimboslice,

 

I took Sertraline for exactly five days and share almost the same symptoms as you. The first two and a half months were hell - I didn’t want to die, but it was like my brain was telling me to. Now I’m left with ‘residual’ symptoms like yours; I feel stupid, slow, unobservant, the thoughts in my head feel less clear. I used to be pretty anxious about most things/intense, I just feel numbed to myself, my friends, and the world.

 

All of the nasty, acute symptoms went for me just over a month ago with my last wave starting on the 9th of Jan after consuming alcohol, this ended around late-jan.

 

My own symptoms are improving, slowly. I still feel stuck and can’t help but wonder whether I’m really getting anywhere, or if it will just stop.

 

How bad is your tinnitus? Mine is improving. The brain fog is clearing, I’m feeling more and more creative everyday. Just earlier (running on little sleep and having only eaten muesli and McDonalds) I managed to create a rather lacklustre analogical story for my friend to write for his girlfriend - sounds stupid and little, but from how dull my head has been recently, I was amazed with each word I managed to produce off the top of my head.

 

I have made a lot of improvement, still far from anything normal (feeling normal, I’m told so much that I ‘look normal’ heh) so I can assure you that you will get better. It will get better.

Re the elocution lessons - it may help to distract you from symptoms/give you a little more confidence in yourself. I guess with neuroplasticity, practicing things may make them reappear/improve faster, I’m not too sure. The best thing for me has been to be with friends as much as possible, and gradually wean back into my academic study.

 

How are you feeling today? Or really recently might be a better thing to go by hehe. Do you feel like there’s less space for thought in your head, or consideration? Like I’ll look at something and think, ‘that’s that’, instead of, ‘that could be this, or maybe because of this it’s this’, I can’t come up with a better way to explain, it’s been my biggest gripe as I always took pride on my ability to analyse and intuit.

 

Thanks and hope you’re as well as you can be!!!:))),

 

Icip.


Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Main symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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Kimboslice


Hi @Icip,

 

Sorry I haven’t replied quicker.. the brains a little slow atm.. it takes a while 🙄☺️.

 

Yep, withdrawal from these drugs seems to be the best numbing agents I’ve ever come across. Whether it’s your head, creativity, emotions or genitals, it numbs it alright.
 

It really sucks your struggling after ingesting the evil little bast@rds for just 5 days!! You’d recover quicker from a week long Cocaine binge! however the doctor probably wouldn’t recommend that mind 😂

Can I ask what made you discontinue taking the drug after such a short period of time? Did you react badly to them from the get off?
 

I myself have found the process to be a non-linear one like most others, so it’s been painful trying to analyse the situation due to a lack of any obvious pattern towards recovery. I’ve enjoyed moments of improvement and optimism followed by their own struggles which has made amy progress difficult to summarise but this seems to be the norm.

 

 I hope in your case, considering you only took sertraline for such a short period of time comparatively to myself, that you’ll continue to see Improvements in a fluid manner the further down the road you go and from reading your post it seems you are already. As you’ve said yourself, the turbulent nature of withdrawal can sometimes make it difficult to tell.

 

Currently I’ve found myself in a bit of a slump, although this probably stems from impatience more than anything else.
Atm my head is fuzzy, I’m constantly tired, lacking any stimulation and I’m completely bored out of my mind, Although now you’ve mentioned it, my tinnitus seems to be improving (funny that) but the thing that irritates me more than any other right now is my inability to express myself (either via talking, writing or any other curriculums). I think this it’s related to the creativity issue.  like you said it’s seeing something as “That’s that” and then having an inability to elaborate from there. I get it man but Its got to be a real positive you’ve been able to put pen to paper (i.e Story writing for your friend) and find a sense of achievement from doing so. I wouldn’t belittle it in anyway, its great!! 
 

How are you finding life in the outside world.. like working and social life etc?? is it something you’ve been able to keep normalised? I’ve found the longer I’ve lingered in the depth of withdrawal the harder they are to maintain. I can’t decide whether relaxing on both currently is in my best interest as I recover or just straight up negligence. Have you been affected in these areas yourself?

 

Thanks for getting touch Icip, it’s really appreciated and I hope sone of this helps.

 

Kimbo

 

Edited by manymoretodays
removed excess white space

OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Icip

@Kimboslice,

 

I stopped taking the poison after a week because I couldn’t think, remember anything, recall words, nor concentrate. It worsened my ADHD in that I was erratic and I just a felt a sense of, well... being dead. I guess maybe this was the ‘adverse’ side to my reaction, it seemed a little too intense for normal start-up symptoms. I also only intended to take them for a very short while. I’d used Citalopram as a ‘relaxant’ for one or two days maybe three times in the past and had no residual symptoms - I quite enjoyed the feeling it gave me even on the first day. Yeah ha call me stupid, I trusted big pharma over ‘illegal’ drugs to relax as I’m a good citizen.

 

I’m so sorry that you’re stuck in that phase, so many here seem to be. You just go back, and forth till you have a good day, which is smashed and overridden by the next. Not to mention the anxiety/dread that comes with this. I was in that for around two months - just before Christmas is when it started to settle down for me. You’ll get out of it, it just needs time, sleep, good food, and calm. I had a mini day-long wave yesterday - I received a nasty message which made me cry whilst volunteering, the derealisation came back, along with feeling ‘waterlogged’, joint pain, and dread. Sertraline seems to have the worst set of mean recurring symptoms from what I’ve seen from most people, it’s like it scorches you from the inside out.

 

From my own experience, your creativity will come back. I’m still not there, but I feel and seem so much better despite every now and again looking at an image I’m editing and being totally baffled as to what colour grading would look nice on it/light balances, just stuff that came as instinct to me has gone. I can imagine that you feel the same sentiment.

 

Do you work? If so, how is your job? I’m in the midst of a degree and have been plunged with this so I’ve tried to stay away from as much work as possible (more than the typical student heh). The isolationism stopped for me around just after Christmas, I remember the last day which I stayed in bed for it’s entirety.

 

I spend a lot of my time with friends, it helps me to feel so much better like, almost normal (eases residual anxiety so derealisation lessens). It’s helped me, but I notice when I would’ve the moments where old me would have told a useless fact, a stupid joke, or gone in a rant about something; it highlights this and can get me down - luckily they all manage to prop me up well enough (healthy I know:)).

How have you felt around friends? Throughout this entire thing they’ve always helped, even just playing Mariokart with one sparked me starting to feel a little better.

 

Are you able to take time off of work and just ‘chill’ for a bit? You don’t want to get stuck in a rut and let withdrawal take over your being, but as I said above, remaining calm has been one of the biggest helps for me. I’ve actually managed to get angry with my mum for getting angry at me, then proceeding to tell her off for telling me off heh - family have been the biggest pain for me. Have yours understood or took it well? My step-dad sent me a text the other day saying that it’s his ‘opinion’ that I’m making up my ailment, and that the gp (saw an amazing doctor by chance who refuses to prescribe antidepressants, and understood withdrawal well + affirmed my queries and reassured me) made poor judgement and wrongly diagnosed me, they’ve been the biggest pain throughout all of this.

 

It helps to know that I’m not alone in symptoms I still have, and that they’re what’s considered as ‘normal’ (weird norm hey) - it feels like they’ll never go right? I guess it’s just what’s the here and how for our brain, they don’t know anything else - so why would our conscious. So thank you:)).

 

It’s no problem at all, as I’m getting better, I’ve been more use to other people and I saw that no one had replied to you for a while. Withdrawal is such a lonely place, inbox me whenever you want if it ever gets hard:)).

 

(No worries about replying too! I still have that; waiting for the one ‘I don’t feel too awful’ moment to reply to people hehe. I’ve been waiting for mine for three days now to reply to my seminar tutor - I’ll give it another few days).

 

Hope you’re doing well:)),

 

Icip.


Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Main symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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arbor

Hi Kimboslice--

I'm 22 months off zoloft/prozac, and still verry up and down.  Some nights/mornings it's all I can do to stay in my skin.  I want to offer us some hope--but because I had a melt down yesterday (in anticipation of upcoming appointment with my doctor) I'd have to go back a couple of days, to be able to say, I believe my symptoms are faintly improving.  Let me share the fumes of that prior, fleeting optimism.  Apparently it still seems to be sustaining me.  

Here's to our recovery--and to everyone else's,

Arbor


Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Leo1983

@Kimboslice

 

Areet mate.

Im from the town too. Exact same thing has happened to me in regards social issues and feeling like i cant relate to people. My personality changed alot.


May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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Kimboslice

@Leo1983

 

Hello mate, it’s terrifying ain’t it. I feel as though I’ve sold my soul to the devil the day I entered my docs office, collected my prescription and started, taking those horrific pills. All this s*** because I needed some support  coping with a bereavement and some minor anxiety man. The system is sick. The most infuriating  part is the inability to proactively improve the matter. Took the dog down to Tynemouth beach yesterday in an attempt to try and do just that.. But it’s just becomes a sure reminder that my life is currently indifferent and overly tough lol. What area of  the toon you from?


OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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manymoretodays

Hi Kimboslice,  @Kimboslice

I left your comment and question, intact on Sunnday's success story.

Moved the above discussion with Leo1983 here.  Which came about from this quote:

  

On 10/1/2020 at 11:23 AM, Kimboslice said:

When I’m out, sometimes I feel dead inside like I can’t muster up even a shred of emotion to be able to have a proper relatable conversation with anyone around me. I just feel like such a dull individual and void of any confidence.  This keeps improving, then reverting. It’s so frustrating each time being thrown some shred of hope and positivity to have it torn away again the very next week🤬

 

 

I also added your signature to your signature, so we all have some context of where you are in your healing, as well.  I found this in your first post and put it there.  You'll see it below all your posts now.  If you'd like to update/edit it, just go to Account Settings and then > signature to do so.

Here's a little more about Introductions and updates, with the link to more about signatures too:

Each person's Introduction topic is important to the site:

- We can keep track of how you are doing by reading your intro topic.
- These are informal case histories and progress reports. They will be invaluable for visitors to the site who may be suffering the same symptom pattern that you are.
- You will not have to keep explaining your history.
- By keeping reports of individual developments in the intro topics, proliferation of topics will be reduced.

Also, please put your medication and tapering history in your signature -- that's the information you see at the bottom of someone's post. This will help people understand your situation no matter where you post on the site. See instructions in this topic:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/18343-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/(Please note that, while your identity is protected by a screen name, your topic can be read by anyone who visits the site, including Google, and do not post sensitive identifying information.)


 

On 1/8/2020 at 2:02 PM, Kimboslice said:

Many times I’ve seen withdrawal referred to as a brain injury on this site so I was thinking, if a person had suffered a recognised brain injury and their speech had suffered, surely any consultant would place the patient in some form of speech therapy.

 

Does anyone agree this could make a case that using a similar approach could provide positive results from a withdrawing brain?

 

I liked this thought Kimboslice.  I wish they would help us out in our healing from these drugs, with if not speech therapy, supported therapy to help us with the short term limitations(that's my firm belief), that so many of us do suffer.  Sadly though.......until the medical establishment comes to terms with the harms of these drugs........I don't think it's likely.

 

Okay, and best.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

moderator manymoretodays

 


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Kimboslice

Hi @manymoretodays,


Thanks for sorting out my signature. Been wanting to do it myself for a while but only access the site by phone so anything i can interpret as technical I tend to avoid doing. 

 

3 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

I liked this thought Kimboslice.  I wish they would help us out in our healing from these drugs, with if not speech therapy, supported therapy to help us with the short term limitations(that's my firm belief), that so many of us do suffer.  Sadly though.......until the medical establishment comes to terms with the harms of these drugs........I don't think it's likely.


I never pursued speech therapy, but did do some psychotherapy with a nice lady who wanted to help but unfortunately had little to no experience with WD. It allowed me to reground myself a little at the time.  Support in any form would be nice! if anything just for some reassurance when times are tough. If we’re being realistic, a proper support system that offered genuine care and advice to individuals seeking assistance prior to being prescribed psych drugs would have been adequate. Unfortunately, If society can’t support people properly at the beginning of the process it’s unrealistic to have hope it will during the aftermath.  

 

Thanks again and many regards.


OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Kimboslice

Hi @arbor

 

thanks for the message of support. I Missed it completely. How did your doctors appointment go? Any improvements in the last week or so? 
 

 


OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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arbor
On 9/23/2020 at 10:50 AM, arbor said:

 

 

 

Hi Kimboslice--  I have a hard time using these threads, so I hope this finds you.  Mainly, I want to say, you sure don't seem to have lost your Charm and Charisma.  I feel really confident you'll get it all back.  Thanks for your response.  My doctor told me in response to PWS, "Doctors can't help you."  Certainly, she can't.  However, another doctor ok'ed the blood tests I wanted which she didn't think necessary.  They showed that my lipase levels were low.  This I believe may be related to my experience on sertraline which effected my pancreas enough to cause a diagnosis of diabetes.  It took a number of years before I stumbled across studies that sertraline is associated with higher outcomes of pancreatitis.  (As I write this last sentence, I'm doing a deep breathing exercise.)

Sending my best to you,

Arbor

On 11/18/2019 at 10:25 AM, Kimboslice said:

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CHARM AND CHARISMA? 

 

 


Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Kimboslice
1 hour ago, arbor said:

 

 

Hi Kimboslice--  I have a hard time using these threads, so I hope this finds you.  Mainly, I want to say, you sure don't seem to have lost your Charm and Charisma.  I feel really confident you'll get it all back.  Thanks for your response.  My doctor told me in response to PWS, "Doctors can't help you."  Certainly, she can't.  However, another doctor ok'ed the blood tests I wanted which she didn't think necessary.  They showed that my lipase levels were low.  This I believe may be related to my experience on sertraline which effected my pancreas enough to cause a diagnosis of diabetes.  It took a number of years before I stumbled across studies that sertraline is associated with higher outcomes of pancreatitis.  (As I write this last sentence, I'm doing a deep breathing exercise.)

Sending my best to you,

Arbor

 


It sure did. & don’t worry I have real difficulty with using the sites as well. Your not alone. 
 

I sure hope my original personality returns as time passes. I keep having weeks of marked improvements that give me a lot of hope, but they are always followed by a stinking wave  (like right now Aggghh).
 

Well, I suppose in a sense that’s fantastic news. Not the diabetes of course but at least having some abnormal results from your testing to work with.  Hopefully discovering this  abnormity will at least in part go some way toward resolving the issues your experiencing now. How long have you been diagnosed ?(with diabetes) & Whats your doctor suggesting you need to do now you know your lipase levels aren’t where their meant to be? Supplementation or an injection of types? 
 

It’s crazy how we have to push our doctors and insist on them carrying out further investigation into our ailments and illnesses. It’s disgusting. If they can, they’ll have you out the door before, insisting “your fine, it’s all in your head” and heavens forbid before there could be any suggestion of testing which would be an additional cost to the service (at least here in the uk).  

 

& remember 1-2-3-4 Breeeeath 😉😂

 


 

 


OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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arbor

Thank you, Kimboslice--Sorry you're having to weather a wave.  My doctor reports that low lipase means nothing to worry or do anything about.  Yes, tests seem frowned upon here, but by the profiteering insurance companies, rather than government.  For me, there's always the bottom line that their profit pre-empts my health.  If they didn't presume such a high margin cf to most working people, I would distrust them a little less tha I do.  Meanwhile, anything medical, right now, flings me into a wave.  I want so much for all of us to quickly get well.

My mornings are still wretched, but last night I slept 7 hours (broken, but patched), and that feels promising...

Thinking of you,

Arbor


Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Kimboslice
On 10/12/2020 at 6:21 PM, arbor said:

My doctor reports that low lipase means nothing to worry or do anything about. 


I don’t understand. Surely a lower than normal count in anything biologically indicates a need to be proactive and make adjustments of sorts.. Even if just dietary changes or minor lifestyle adjustments. Maybe I’m being ignorant but It just seems logical. 
 

On 10/12/2020 at 6:21 PM, arbor said:

Yes, tests seem frowned upon here, but by the profiteering insurance companies, rather than government.  For me, there's always the bottom line that their profit pre-empts my health.  If they didn't presume such a high margin cf to most working people, I would distrust them a little less tha I do. 

 

Completely agree.  A health care system that revolves around the use of insurance companies a flawed one. Customer and said companies have a complete & utter conflict of interest. All insurance companies whether it’s for your car, house or your health are driven by negating risks to minimise spending & maximise profits not by actively trying to achieve the best possible outcome for their customer. Surely this means the average person inevitably forever ends up backed up into a corner with the poorest hand and when it comes to health that just isn’t acceptable in my opinion. 
 

On 10/12/2020 at 6:21 PM, arbor said:

My mornings are still wretched, but last night I slept 7 hours (broken, but patched), and that feels promising...


That’s good.. have you been struggling for regular sleep? It can be a nasty symptom. Especially because of the domino effect it causes making all the others feel worse. I have found my sleeping quality to improve as time had passed. I can even boast some 9 hour night over the last fortnight and hopefully thats somewhat encouraging for you 😊

 

What other Symptoms are you having with atm? 
 

 


OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Leila

Hi @kimboslice! I red your topic and your post in which you talk about the difficult of pushing yourself to do things. I'm on 9.5 month off drug and I feel a little bit agoraphobic... Agoraphobia and social phobia were worse the last two months (a gift from WD). I tried slowly to push myself to crowded place (like supermarket), sometimes it was good, sometimes I had a kind of panic attack... I share with you your concern especially for things that can cause stress for me (and I'm very sensitive to stress in this period) like work and social relations... I think we had to proceed by trial and error until our mind understands we are not in danger!

How are you now? I hope you feel better!


July 2015: start citalopram 20 mg for big stress

After two year I start tapering (slow but without medical advice) and I suppose in a wrong way. First down to 10 mg, then 5 mg and 2 mg (liquid solution) and jump

At the end of January 2020: off citalopram (last dosage 2mg).

June 2020: adrenal crush. The beginning of the Hell on Earth

 

Current supplement: pill of saffron (30 mg) + 1 mg melatonin + vit. E,  EPA+DHA, magnesium bisglicinate, theanina.

Try to meditate/mindfulness, walk/run daily, CBT, acupuncture weekly (anxiety protocol) and massage.

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arbor

Hi @kimboslice--I so appreciate your response and questions.  As far as low lipase goes, I've come to the conclusion that pharmaceutical (our regular American) doctors don't distinguish between their lack of knowledge and "nothing wrong."  Other studies do show a benefit from the use of added enzymes when lipase is low.  Where any kind of applicable truth lies, I have no idea.  However, I decided to try a low level supplement of digestive enzymes with meals.  

I'm glad and encouraged that you're getting some good sleep.  This is the hardest symptom of PAWS for me, this, and the unrelenting despair.  For now, I'm resolute about not reinstating with anything made by pharmaceutical companies.  My biggest relief is that I don't have anything in my system, and I don't have to taper in the future.  I've gathered enough thin faith from what people have been so kind as to share here as we bumble through this horrible passage, that eventually I may heal--meaning regain a happier, calmer, rested mind.  For 23 months I haven't been able to regain the drastic weight loss of withdrawal, but as of this week, I now am gaining weight.  The strange psoriasis has cleared.  The tinnitus is quieter except at night.  I can hold my temper longer again.  One of my odder symptoms was an overabundance of emotion whenever I was in contact with babies and toddlers.  It's been as if I couldn't get enough of them.  Knowing this, my friends and cousin have been sending lovely videos and pictures I can frame of the children in their lives.  They also urged me to get another kitty--which I did about 2 months into w/d, and am so glad, especially during the pandemic.  (When I lie awake at night, she climbs on my chest and gives me kisses.)

 

Other symptoms like numbness in my right thigh and left toe are at least coming and going as opposed to constant.  Same with the temperature disturbances.  I can listen to a little bit of music at a time now, but not watch movies or read much besides books on meditation.  I listen a lot to buddhist dharma talks.  I feel that I'm having to train the synapses of my brain away from the OCD and panic attacks caused by w/d.  I find it embarrassing trying to explain to friends that at almost 2 years, I'm still struggling!

 

How are you doing with the feeling of dullness?  I used to feel (before the meds even began) so alive mentally--and of course, probably extra alive to emotional nuances.  All of that has been haywire during withdrawal.  I used to live for art and insight, beauty and connection, but for much of this w/d time all of that has been either dulled, distanced or in the case of social interactions, easily disturbing.  I'm so grateful to the kindness of others.  It's an amazing medicine.  I do think I sleep better when I remember to review the various kindnesses of the day before saying, good night.

 

I also wonder how you are doing following the traumas that led to you to taking sertraline.  I send you best wishes, and redouble my faith in recovery that I might have success and its hope to offer--

Pre-Covid hug,

Arbor

 

 


Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Kimboslice

Hey @Leila, thanks for getting in touch. It’s an extremely difficult issue to deal with and even more difficult to make sense of. I was talking to my sister last night who wanted to know if I’ve noticed anything that specifically is a trigger because of course that would make sense (to someone living with normal anxiety issues) but honestly I don’t think there is one. It’s completely unpredictable. I’ve had many phases throughout withdrawal where socially I have improved but never continually and progressively and I think the longer I’ve struggled any subsequent loss of confidence has started to become a major contributing factor aswell.  I live 280 miles away from home and hadn’t developed a solid social circle prior to being hit with withdrawal which hasn’t helped, I had to stop working (Door to door sales.. no chance 😂)  so I’ve definitely become isolated as a whole which in hindsight really hasn’t helped either. I think if you can maintain an element of structure and keep getting yourself out in controlled and familiar environments hopefully you’ll keep making progress and stay on the right track. What causes your agoraphobic feelings? For me, it’s the inability to talk fluidly and intellectually. My brain becomes overwhelmed, stalls and stutters making me very uncomfortable.I think your right though small steps and hopefully we’ll get there.


OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Leila

Hey @kimboslice! Thank you for your reply!😊

I think that for me agoraphobia came both from the fear of meeting known people 

(to which I had to explain my status...and you know, it’s very difficult to explain) both from hyperstimulation of some place (supermarket disturbs me more than a park)...

 

16 hours ago, Kimboslice said:

I think if you can maintain an element of structure and keep getting yourself out in controlled and familiar environments hopefully you’ll keep making progress and stay on the right track.

I think this is the key of this process... I’m sorry you had to live so far from home; I know the accompaniment of people who give us certainty help surely us to win some blocks. Maybe you can focus on some place that you identify like safe and try to expose yourself, even if the first time sound like failure. Even if this agoraphobia comes from WD, we need to send to our brain the message that we are not in danger to reassure it. 

This is your main issue or do you struggle with other issues?

So, you have traveled a long journey and I think you are strong... I’m sure you can fight this remaining issue!💪🏽


July 2015: start citalopram 20 mg for big stress

After two year I start tapering (slow but without medical advice) and I suppose in a wrong way. First down to 10 mg, then 5 mg and 2 mg (liquid solution) and jump

At the end of January 2020: off citalopram (last dosage 2mg).

June 2020: adrenal crush. The beginning of the Hell on Earth

 

Current supplement: pill of saffron (30 mg) + 1 mg melatonin + vit. E,  EPA+DHA, magnesium bisglicinate, theanina.

Try to meditate/mindfulness, walk/run daily, CBT, acupuncture weekly (anxiety protocol) and massage.

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