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Hell

Hell: I am very scared (mostly about insomnia)

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mstimc

I have been fighting WD and anxiety since  the 1990's.  WD was hell and it took  long time and a lot of work to get through it.  But I did.  So can you.  Its in you.  If it wasn't it, you wouldn't come here for help.  


Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Sunnyday
On 1/28/2020 at 10:16 PM, Hell said:

I did but nothing works. I can fall asleep on zyprexa at night but I wake up every second. I am tired of this. I look like hell and feel like hell. I am going to give up this fight. Thanks everyone for trying to encourage me but in some cases there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Not everyone can recover from this. I am just one of those cases. 

Hi Hell. Please don't give up yet. I know it's rough, I think most of us truly know that you are suffering a lot! But genuinely try to look at it from a bigger perspective if you can. By that I mean that it hasn't been very long since you quit those drugs. You also said you tapered very fast, my guess is this can make it even more vital to let it take some time. You don't know yet if you can recover from it because too short time has passed in my opinion. It seems for most people on here it takes longer than a few months to recover and most likely it will for you too. It's easy to almost get lost in the bad feelings and sensations because there are so many during WD, and that makes it harder to see the full picture.

So from my point of view you're definitely not an exception yet and I definitely see a light at the end of the tunnel for you (even if you can't see it yet).


2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues)

2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week

July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg

April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot)

Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month

Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs

Now: Still drug free

Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D.

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Sunnyday

This might seem like an odd question Hell but do you have anything during the day that you are occupied with? It could be hobbies or a job or something like that. You don't have to disclose it on here but it can be worth looking into for your own sake. The more time we have to think and ponder sometimes the worse it gets.

When I felt like it couldn't get any worse the thing that worked the best was finding distractions. So anything positive that takes your mind off the withdrawal and the sleeping issues (movies, videos, books, games, good friends, walks in nature etc etc).

 

Also instead of trying really hard to sleep, maybe just decide to rest to try to take away some of the frustration. Even if it's not as good as sleep we sometimes have to accept the next best thing until it gets better.

 

Edit: Try to also avoid the catastrophical thinking if you can, it's so easy to spiral down in it completely and make the suffering worse that way. Try to see the examples on this site of people who did overcome insomnia for example, because there are those too. I'd say more people overcome all these symptoms including insomnia than the ones who don't. The odds are on your side.


2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues)

2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week

July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg

April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot)

Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month

Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs

Now: Still drug free

Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D.

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pinciukas
33 minutes ago, Sunnyday said:

This might seem like an odd question Hell but do you have anything during the day that you are occupied with? It could be hobbies or a job or something like that. You don't have to disclose it on here but it can be worth looking into for your own sake. The more time we have to think and ponder sometimes the worse it gets.

When I felt like it couldn't get any worse the thing that worked the best was finding distractions. So anything positive that takes your mind off the withdrawal and the sleeping issues (movies, videos, books, games, good friends, walks in nature etc etc).

 

Also instead of trying really hard to sleep, maybe just decide to rest to try to take away some of the frustration. Even if it's not as good as sleep we sometimes have to accept the next best thing until it gets better.

 

Edit: Try to also avoid the catastrophical thinking if you can, it's so easy to spiral down in it completely and make the suffering worse that way. Try to see the examples on this site of people who did overcome insomnia for example, because there are those too. I'd say more people overcome all these symptoms including insomnia than the ones who don't. The odds are on your side.

Yes with sleep it is difficult more you try to sleep less you sleep. I observe this on myself if I try to sleep I can't fall a sleep if I am on vacation and don't care I am falling asleep and sleeping well. Strange.


AD: Seroxat since 2005 20 mg and tapering from March 2018 10% every 4 weeks.

15-11-2019 down to 5.5 mg 

28-12-2019 crashed really bad on 5.5mg 

01-01-2020 updose to 7mg

16-01-2020 Updose to 9 mg

 

Benzos: Bromazepam 1.5 mg daily since 2015

Quit CT Bromazepam 16-01-2020 No withdrawals 

Occasionally 1.5 mg extra

Last extra 1.5 mg 12-01-2020

 

 

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Andie

They way you describe the change in your bite and waking yourself up as you are falling asleep stood out to me as I was reading your thread. 

 

Have you spoken to your Dentist about the change in your bite? Grinding and clenching (often unknowingly) your teeth can cause your bite to shift.

 

 It is entirely possible that the way your jaw is aligning can be disrupting your sleep. Dentists nowadays are very familiar with diagnosing sleep disordered breathing, they can even refer you on to a sleep specialist if you need it. Just keep them informed of whatever drugs you may be taking as they will take to this into consideration. 

 

If you are still worried about this, there is no harm in getting this checked out. If it’s nothing, at least you have ruled out one  possibility. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Current Dose

0.5mcg Clonidine and 1.25 Diazepam PRN for treatment of iatrogenic hypertension. 

2010 .Prescribed Pristiq 100 mg in July by GP

2010 .Reduced to 50mg by splitting and weighing. Held at 50mg

2014. Reduced from 50-35 .Held at 35mg. 

2017. Taper from 35mg commenced using compounded Desvenlafaxine

2018. 23/06 13.5mg. 21/07  12.5mg. 25/08 11.5mg. 09/2018 10mg. 14/11 11mg (updose) 21/11 -12mg (updose)

2019. Still holding at 12mg and stuck. 

2020. January 2019 Prozac Bridge-- Prozac 2.5 to 10mg and

Pristiq 23rd Jan 6mg/ 27th Jan 5mg/ 28th Jan 3mg/ 30 Jan 0

Prozac 6th Feb 9.5mg. Vitamin D3 5000iu with K2

Magnesium Glycinate with Glycine and Passionflower  600mg 

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mustafa

Hello dear,

How is insonomia for you now?

Hope it is going down .

Mustafa


i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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Hell
On 2/4/2020 at 3:34 PM, mustafa said:

Hello dear,

How is insonomia for you now?

Hope it is going down .

Mustafa

It is getting even worse. I sleep maybe few minutes in total. Waking up as soon as I fall asleep, if I even manage that. I gave up all hope, It will never get better, only worse.


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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pinciukas
14 minutes ago, Hell said:

It is getting even worse. I sleep maybe few minutes in total. Waking up as soon as I fall asleep, if I even manage that. I gave up all hope, It will never get better, only worse.

How long you can't sleep? My sleep is also not so good and this night I slept maybe 3 hours. 


AD: Seroxat since 2005 20 mg and tapering from March 2018 10% every 4 weeks.

15-11-2019 down to 5.5 mg 

28-12-2019 crashed really bad on 5.5mg 

01-01-2020 updose to 7mg

16-01-2020 Updose to 9 mg

 

Benzos: Bromazepam 1.5 mg daily since 2015

Quit CT Bromazepam 16-01-2020 No withdrawals 

Occasionally 1.5 mg extra

Last extra 1.5 mg 12-01-2020

 

 

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Hell
9 hours ago, pinciukas said:

How long you can't sleep? My sleep is also not so good and this night I slept maybe 3 hours. 

It is 3 months already and no improvements. I know I won't suddenly get my sleep back but nothing is changing for the better, only worse. I don't know if I even sleep half an hour in total.


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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Hell

I am sorry I am not responding to everyone but I feel really bad.


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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pinciukas
15 minutes ago, Hell said:

It is 3 months already and no improvements. I know I won't suddenly get my sleep back but nothing is changing for the better, only worse. I don't know if I even sleep half an hour in total.

Omg not even an hour? It is crazy how do you manage to do thru your day? Don't have hallucinations?


AD: Seroxat since 2005 20 mg and tapering from March 2018 10% every 4 weeks.

15-11-2019 down to 5.5 mg 

28-12-2019 crashed really bad on 5.5mg 

01-01-2020 updose to 7mg

16-01-2020 Updose to 9 mg

 

Benzos: Bromazepam 1.5 mg daily since 2015

Quit CT Bromazepam 16-01-2020 No withdrawals 

Occasionally 1.5 mg extra

Last extra 1.5 mg 12-01-2020

 

 

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Hell
5 minutes ago, pinciukas said:

Omg not even an hour? It is crazy how do you manage to do thru your day? Don't have hallucinations?

No but I feel and look awful. My eyes are red and my memory is bad. 


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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pinciukas
Just now, Hell said:

No but I feel and look awful. My eyes are red and my memory is bad. 

I can imagine. I got once bad sleep for a few hours for a week and I was really bad. You are very strong person 3 month without sleep is long time


AD: Seroxat since 2005 20 mg and tapering from March 2018 10% every 4 weeks.

15-11-2019 down to 5.5 mg 

28-12-2019 crashed really bad on 5.5mg 

01-01-2020 updose to 7mg

16-01-2020 Updose to 9 mg

 

Benzos: Bromazepam 1.5 mg daily since 2015

Quit CT Bromazepam 16-01-2020 No withdrawals 

Occasionally 1.5 mg extra

Last extra 1.5 mg 12-01-2020

 

 

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Hell
Just now, pinciukas said:

I can imagine. I got once bad sleep for a few hours for a week and I was really bad. You are very strong person 3 month without sleep is long time

Well I am thinking of killing myself every day so there is that. Every person has a breaking point I am close to reaching mine I think.


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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mstimc
20 minutes ago, Hell said:

Well I am thinking of killing myself every day so there is that. Every person has a breaking point I am close to reaching mine I think.

You know that's no answer, Hell.  You come here for help so you still have hope.


Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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pinciukas
47 minutes ago, Hell said:

Well I am thinking of killing myself every day so there is that. Every person has a breaking point I am close to reaching mine I think.

It's not a answer killing yourself. 

Maybe moderators can suggest something for you? 


AD: Seroxat since 2005 20 mg and tapering from March 2018 10% every 4 weeks.

15-11-2019 down to 5.5 mg 

28-12-2019 crashed really bad on 5.5mg 

01-01-2020 updose to 7mg

16-01-2020 Updose to 9 mg

 

Benzos: Bromazepam 1.5 mg daily since 2015

Quit CT Bromazepam 16-01-2020 No withdrawals 

Occasionally 1.5 mg extra

Last extra 1.5 mg 12-01-2020

 

 

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mustafa
12 hours ago, Hell said:

It is getting even worse. I sleep maybe few minutes in total. Waking up as soon as I fall asleep, if I even manage that. I gave up all hope, It will never get better, only worse.

I think it is good you even sleep for minutes, 

What I know about this insonomia( when it is the main symptom), is that you rarely falll asleep and as soon as you are going to fall asleep, you wake up; it is good you have some minutes .

If you would like to know my experience with your main symptom this, I think you should be knowing how is your memory, is your memory ok and good?

Can u remember any thing happened to u?


i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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JLex1981

It will pass, it’s the only thing in life I know for sure. Things change . 


John

Zoloft 2001-2003 forget MG's taken, tapered slowly (so I thought) to 0MG in 2003

Withdrawal led me to go on Lexapro 2003

Lexapro 15MG (15 years) 2003-2018

Tapered to 5MG over the last year and 1/2 From 01-2017 thru 04-2018 in 2MG tapers roughly a month each some 2 months or more to stabilize 

5MG Pill  to 4ML/MG Liquid Solution on 03/26/18

04-26-2018 re-upped to 4.4 ML due to withdrawal symptoms

05-06-2018 re-upped to 4.8ML due to withdrawal symptoms

05-07-2018 went to 5MG pill

 

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Icip

I'm praying for you, the majority of stories I've read have noted improved sleep. Try not to place too much pressure on yourself, it only worsens your outlook.

 

Keep well,

 

Icip.


Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Main symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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Emma7855

@Hell, I constantly think about it too. It's hard. Please just know that you're not alone. I've found that setting little goals helps. Like, if I can get through this week, then I'll let myself consider it. Then gradually extend the timeframe. That's what I'm doing, and I'm still here, albeit hanging by a thread... but I'm still here.


  • 2015:
    • January: Started taking Xanax (.25mg) as needed
    • May: Weekend of trying LSD, psilocybin mushrooms, MDMA
    • May: Discontinued Xanax (CT'd)
    • July: Started taking Prozac (0 --> 40mg)
    • November: Started taking Lamictal (0 --> 150mg)
  • 2018:
    • May: Tapered off Prozac
    • July: Started taking Klonopin (0.125mg) as needed
  • 2019:
    • March: Discontinued birth control pills (~10 years)
    • May: Discontinued Klonopin (CT'd)
    • April --> July: Tapered off Lamictal (150mg --> 0: 125mg for 3 weeks, 100mg for 3 weeks, 75mg for 3 weeks, 50mg for 2 weeks, 25mg for 1 week)
    • Mid-July: Reinstated Lamictal (25mg) after 3 days of discontinuation 
    • Mid-August: Increased Lamictal (25 --> 50mg)
    • September: Decreased Lamictal (50 --> 37.5mg)
    • December: Decreased Lamictal (37.5 --> 35 mg); started taking Trileptal (4 mg)
  • 2020:
    • January: Took one birth control pill
    • April - June: Used curcumin cream (daily), 1% hydrocortisone cream (as needed), Elidel cream (as needed)

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Hell

Now I got tinnitus too. Wish I never reinstated this poison.


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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Sunnyday
On 2/27/2020 at 3:15 PM, Hell said:

Now I got tinnitus too. Wish I never reinstated this poison.

Hi Hell. I have a relative with tinnitus as well, and it gets especially frustrating for them when trying to sleep. Their solution have been audio books. Can you maybe lay down and listen to something on low volume when the tinnitus bothers you? 

 

You're doing well for keeping at it even if it feels awful. Maybe if you feel too bad you can go and talk to someone? For many it helps to share the burden with someone. Take care and I have hope for you.


2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues)

2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week

July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg

April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot)

Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month

Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs

Now: Still drug free

Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D.

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Hell

My sleep is getting worse and worse. I can only sleep for a few minutes. I can hardly walk and think. I can't enjoy any hobbies anymore. I am close to my end. There is nothing to live for now when I can't even do basic things I liked.


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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Sunnyday

@Hell Are you able to wait it out? There were times during my own withdrawal where some days, all I could do was sit/lay and wait for the misery to end because there was nothing I could do about it but endure it. It's really hard, but if you can convince yourself that it will eventually pass maybe you can find the strength to do that?

That was the only way I got through my worst days, by holding on to the fact that it would get better because it will. The vast majority of people on here get better. And many of them also had severe symptoms for several months just like you. If you can, try to hold on to that fact for your own sake.

 

Here's a relaxation video if you feel like giving it a try. I do these kinds of relaxation techniques every night and sometimes during the day too. There should be other videos in that playlist as well if you'd rather try something else. If you do it, try not to put pressure on yourself and just kinda go with it.

 

Hope you don't mind me including the link here. 

 


2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues)

2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week

July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg

April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot)

Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month

Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs

Now: Still drug free

Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D.

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Icip

I felt exactly the same way as you do @Hell, I promise that it will get better - just in time. I can only agree with Sunnyday in that you must try and wait it out. I know waiting is hard when you can’t do anything - SD is right in suggesting an audiobook, maybe not just for tinnitus but also to help pass time, you may not absorb it though anything you do get from it will be a bonus. My tinnitus is getting better Hell, but it had to get worse before it started to improve, I hardly notice it now despite upsetting me greatly when I do.

 

We all recover at different times, yours may take some time yet, but you’ll change direction soon and will notice improvements, everyone here does.

 

The nature of withdrawal is that you feel stuck, you can’t believe a future where you feel better, you only remember fragments of what you were before, and what you’ve become now; it’s a fixation on the present.

 

Music helped me greatly with withdrawal, maybe for a while I could not enjoy it as I used to which I didn’t like. You need to do things so that when you do improve, you’ll notice how you’ve improved (ie finding more pleasure in listening/more of a desire to go outside). It’s the small things.

 

Take care Hell, your head is a little sensitised and overly excited right now. Please give it time to calm down. PM me at any time, I check this site daily so am more than happy to talk to you.

 

Icip.


Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Main symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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Hell

It will be 4 months of not sleeping soon, if things didn't get better at all I don't see how situation will improve later on. I can't wait anymore I feel like this will be the end of me. I mean I could wait but I know that things won't get better. My life is complete hell now and it is not worth living like this for the rest of it. I know you all mean well but I will never get better.


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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Armorall

Hell, have you read Alto's thread on Lamotrigine and microdosing? I don't think you can do it alongside tapering, but maybe something like that can be done? Updosing? What did the mods say? Also we are looking at the oxygen bar at home out of the hyperbaric oxygen tank discussion. Maybe you can get some kind of oxygen inhaler?


3/21/19 started Bupropion XL 150 mg

3/21/19 started Risperidone 2mg

7/7/19 start Abilify half dose 5 mg. discontinue Risperidone

7/9/19 full dose Abilify 10 mg

7/29/19 discontinued Abilify due to panicky side effects

8/2/19 Began Latuda 20 mg

8/5/19 discontinued Latuda due to similar side effects 

8/10/19 discontinued Bupropion after realizing it was causing the insomnia

From 8/10/19 no drugs whatsoever

Currently taking Magnesium 150mgs daily

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Icip

Even for me, four months isn’t a very long time for withdrawal. Improvement will come, maybe not as fast as you’d like. Please take care

 

Icip.


Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Main symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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Icip

@Hell, have you been to the doctors about your eyes? I’ve tho gut before that the double vision and glare could be dry eyes? I cried the other day and the blurriness went for as long as I was/along with you saying your double vision goes for a bit after closing them - I have that too?


Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Main symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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Hell
16 minutes ago, Icip said:

@Hell, have you been to the doctors about your eyes? I’ve tho gut before that the double vision and glare could be dry eyes? I cried the other day and the blurriness went for as long as I was/along with you saying your double vision goes for a bit after closing them - I have that too?

Yeah I was, last year, immediately after I noticed it. They said it could be meds I was taking then but reversible after stopping (nope, still had it of meds). And they said it was astygmatism. There is no cure for that btw. 


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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Rozon1

Hey @Hell have you gotten better in regards to feeling tired? Are you feeling tired nowa days?


Example:

2018 - Started Effexor 37.5 in Janurary of 2018
2019 January, 2nd  - Cold Turkeyed from Effexor for 3 days. Reinstated on the third day, then stabilized(It took 3 months to stabilize)

2019 June - I switched from Effexor instant release to Extended Release 37.5 for better tapering. I tapered to 50% in 4 weeks before reinstating my dosage back to 37.5(due to withdrawls). I waited 2 months to stabilize but never did at 37.5

2019 September - continued to taper in to 25% on extended release

2019 October - continued to taper to half of the beads(18.75mg)... WIthdrawls were so bad I tried switching back to the instant release at the same dosage(18.75mg)

2019 November 28th - Discontinued effexor at 18.75 without anymore tapering.

 

2020 January - Just can't sleep, have constipation, low libido and still lack of full emotion

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Sunnyday

Hi @Hell. You seem convinced it will never get better, but as far as I can tell, all you base that belief on is that you haven't gotten better yet (?). I'm telling you this only to help you to possibly see a different perspective. Plenty of people have persistent symptoms just like you. Just because their insomnia is not always as bad, does not mean some other symptom isn't.

 

I remember a woman on this forum, I can't remember her name but she put up videos of herself experiencing akathisia and it was constant suffering for a long time. And that is just one of many, many examples of people who have been in the same situation but later recovered.
I know it's very hard to feel hopeful about it, but if you actually choose to look at it from a logical standpoint it will be easier to stay more optimistic. We all have extreme symptoms in one way or another and it's not uncommon that they last for months.

What I'm trying to say is that considering what set off your insomnia (WD), it's very unlikely that it will never go away. A big part of getting through it is to change the mindset, even if it's very difficult. It's worth it to be able to wait out the symptoms so that we can live a good life after. And when we have learned to change our mindset, we have a very useful skill for any future problems in life. That's how I see it at least. 

 

I hope you're managing at the moment. I wish there was more we could do for you. Take care. (And if you want to talk about how to change the mindset feel free to message)


2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues)

2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week

July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg

April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot)

Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month

Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs

Now: Still drug free

Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D.

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Hell

The biggest problem (I think) is that I probably got severe sleep apnea somehow and I choke as soon as I am about to fall asleep. It could have something to do with how my bite changed overnight and my jaw when I stopped the meds cold turkey. I don't see how this can improve now, it seems permanent. Only options I have now is to try cpap and sleep study or something but it is too expensive and I seriously doubt it can improve my situation. There are people who got sleep apnea and can't sleep without cpap, their situation can't improve on its own so how could mine? Even if it helps am I really done? Not being able to sleep without some f...... machine (even if that works) strapped to my mouth. I can't accept that. Losing something so crucial as sleep overnight and being ok with it? No. I just can't and would rather die soon.


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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mstimc

You won't die and I know you don't want to.  Your body will make you sleep.  And lots of people use CPAP's with no problem--don't make up your mind you can't use one without trying.  That's your WD talking.  You will recover, but it takes time.  Give yourself that chance.


Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Hell

My body is never sleepy. 4 months passed and it is still the same. For some people sleep never comes back, why would I be the exception? 

The only reason when I ever fall asleep is because of the meds and even then I get the apnea thing. When I finish tappering I will probably never sleep. Not even as much as I do now. My brain is ruined and life is pointless now.


2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression)

2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms

2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey

2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey

In late january 2019 noticed double vision when looking at bright letters or lights from a distance and certain angles, it is either because of stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey or because of starting Seroxat, I still have it and it might be getting worse with time

2019 - june to 13th of november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

2019 - middle of october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tappered it on my own very fast (few days) then stopped completely

Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea...

24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa

3rd december - 5mg zyprexa

new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes

11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa

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mstimc

Hell, sleep deprivation is very unlikely to cause permanent damage.  However, lack of sleep impairs cognitive reasoning and causes depression, which is probably driving your catastrophic thinking.  @Sunnyday is right--you are convincing yourself you'll never sleep or get better while you are unable to think clearly.  You need to give yourself the chance to rest your mind instead of telling yourself you'll never get any sleep. 


Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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