Arti Posted November 7, 2020 Author Share Posted November 7, 2020 @Altostrata ok Sorry and thank you for your patience with me.it is very difficult for me in my conditions to understand how it Works, the whole construct. I read a Lot wich only scarries me but the connections i still dont understand right. In had another night with Bad sleep but feel a little Bit better restored. So anyhow i wait another few days i cannot explain it is only a feeling That body needs a little Bit more break of the dosage Change. Then i will increase diazepam or reduce Dominal again Not both at once. I will Inform you about my steps thanks again for all!! Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 7, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 7, 2020 Arti, please stop tagging Alto. She is very busy helping lots of members. She is also following your topic so gets notification when you post. 32 minutes ago, Arti said: Then i will increase diazepam or reduce Dominal again Not both at once. That is correct. Only one change at a time. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Arti Posted November 7, 2020 Author Share Posted November 7, 2020 @ChessieCat hello ok thanks for the hint !! Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Arti Posted November 11, 2020 Author Share Posted November 11, 2020 Hello @Shep maybe i can ask you a question fell free if you Would answer I dont know if you know my story i did a Lot of mistakes since end of 2018 Two times too fast tapper and Go off paroxetin. Add the neuroleptica Dominal and valium and every Thing got worse and today i am in a state wich is Not endurable From the beginning of that nightmare in January 2019 sleep was the biggest issue. Before that Time i sleept 40 years like a Baby After that never again. In the beginning of the nightmare i could not sleep at all or a few hours then again Not But i was feeling the sleep After changes with Dominal maybe in summer 2019 and later second Time Go off paroxetine it changes to a state that is Not endurable i dont preceive sleep i cannot recognize. I do Not really know what happend during the night, sleep, wake, Dream, thinking. I fell no wakeup point. It is a ugly feeling every day Every moring round about 3am or 4am anxiety increase, akathisia coming up, i feel between the Worlds i deffinitelly sleep Not at this time but I have thoughts or Dreams like i am in the middle but so unprecise that a second later i cannot remember. I Force to Lay down until 6am because i am so exhaust and without controll of myself doing. During the day or in the evenning sometimes in a chair or on the coach i get sleepy i think eyes Fall down for microseconds and i See pictures like Dreams at the Wall Or combined with the Television and Storys than i come back with full anxiety Not able to say what happend if the eyes were closed or Not. Meanwhile i have fear to sit comfortable during the day because of avoid this i Call it Trance. I read you have or had also many trouble with sleep and i want to ask if you ever had such awful states of conscious. I am so scarry that i have to Live with that because this is Not possible i recognized that my Energy and my battery is Low. I fear that i damaged my sleep Architecture completely with all the changes. Meanwhile i cannot fell naturally fatigue anymore. I allways full wake Alto recomend to icrease diazepam A little to get of the Dominal i still think about it but meanwhile i have fear from ever small Changing. As i said fell free to answer only thougt i Ask you about the sleep i am so hopeless i did every Thing, Testament, Life insurance, to be prepared but to be honest i Would Life, i have a wonderfull wife and environment. Thanks shep you do a great Job i like your Posts! Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted November 13, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 13, 2020 On 11/11/2020 at 8:00 AM, Arti said: i Call it Trance. It could be dp/dr: Derealization or Depersonalization (DR and DP) Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 13, 2020 Administrator Share Posted November 13, 2020 On 11/11/2020 at 5:00 AM, Arti said: During the day or in the evenning sometimes in a chair or on the coach i get sleepy i think eyes Fall down for microseconds and i See pictures like Dreams at the Wall Your system is tired and it puts you to sleep, but your nervous system is hypervigilant and wakes you up because it doesn't want you to go unconscious. Many people here have had this. It could also be the effect of diazepam. It seems to me you have improved a little. Dominal might have been causing adverse effects. Diazepam will help calm your nervous system. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Arti Posted November 13, 2020 Author Share Posted November 13, 2020 I think i have to dissapoint you. I am sorry but I dont think i have improved. But every Thing feels completely different compared weeks ago Last week i had two days were i fellt a little Bit better maybe 10% of my old, i could do small things. Then since sunday things got worse. The feeling of the sleep changed another Time now i feel wake and sleep at the same Time I Dream but at the same Time I feel laying in the bed. Its strange and scarry and very exhausting. Very often Go to toilette And in the moving Time as i said 3 or 4am it becomes Not endurable breathing problems tense in the chest. Anxiety, amnesia, confusion, Extreme thougts, Untill Now i changed nothing since 4 weeks Dominal 27,5mg, diazepam 0,14mg The last 2 Weeks i recognize half an hour after Dominal i got this Trance thing on the Coach so maybe Dominal makes me sleepy but cns wont allow. Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Arti Posted November 13, 2020 Author Share Posted November 13, 2020 I am undecided should i continue tapper Dominal or stay ? I know i have to decide and fell in my body but anyway it is still difficult for me to read what the body want Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Arti Posted November 14, 2020 Author Share Posted November 14, 2020 Sorry for writing another time, Excuse this. Another terrible night with almlst nearly no sleep as i said meanwhile the sleep is Fragmented very very light. And i feel no tiredness but very exhausting. And Starting 3 or 4 am. I think every Time i dieing. Anxiety, akathisia, thougts, restless, cannot breathe. I know i Ask this several times but how can i found out. If it is better Continuee tapper Dominal or Not I have the feeling this ugly stuff beginning 3 or 4 am is the Time when Dominal disolve his effect The feeling of the sleep between maybe 10 pm und 1am is terrible meanwhile, as i said Changing again the last 2 weeks without Changeing drugs. Sorry again for asking i have fear that sleep is comletelly destroyed forever thats my fear. And i cannot perceive sleep more und more Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 14, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 14, 2020 (edited) On 11/7/2020 at 7:20 AM, Altostrata said: We have been talking about this for months. Alto has said many times that you might be having a bad reaction to Dominal. She has also suggested many times that you increase diazepam by a little bit. Please read back through Alto's posts. You continue to ask the same questions over and over. Alto has been very patient with you and has answered them several times. It is your decision whether you follow the suggestions made to you. However if you choose not to follow those suggestions it is unfair of you to expect Alto and the other moderators, who are all volunteers (including Alto, she doesn't get any money for doing what she does here) to continue spending their valuable time responding to you. It is especially frustrating when you continually ask the same questions over and over again when they have been answered already. Asking the same question is not going to get you a different answer. However, when suggestions are made and you choose not to follow those suggestions it unfair of you to waste Alto's time when there are other members who need assistance and want to follow the suggestions that are made to them. If you continue in this manner (eg asking questions that have already been answered and not following the suggestions) you will receive a warning point. Edited November 14, 2020 by ChessieCat * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Arti Posted November 14, 2020 Author Share Posted November 14, 2020 Excuse i am very Sorry i am in an exceptional state and very confused, you are right !! Alto give me best Support and i know it is all of your free Time with no payment Again Sorry in the biggest Form! Thank you for being so Patient !! Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 14, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 14, 2020 (edited) 10 hours ago, Arti said: i am in an exceptional state If you read other members' introduction topics* you will see that you are not the only one going through difficulties. A member might have things which are unique to them or they think are unique to them, but the overall situation is basically the same. A drug issue (being on, getting off, adverse affects, side effects, drug interactions, withdrawal symptoms) and symptoms which can be many and varied and can chop and change and can sometimes take a long time to improve. * Actually I suggest that read the Success stories which will provide evidence that members have got through to the other end. Check out Shep and GiaK. They were both poly-drugged for many years and they are now drug-free. 10 hours ago, Arti said: and very confused A lot of other members are too. Edited November 14, 2020 by ChessieCat * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Erell Posted November 18, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 18, 2020 Hello dear Arti, I'm sorry to read how much you struggle. Please, believe that people do heal. Actually it is quite funny : it seems that everybody in WD, myself included, believe sometimes that they are the worst case, that their symptoms or the intensity is the worst and people don't understand because it was easier for them. I've read this belief everywhere on websites. I actually find it logical ; the sufferings we discover in WD are unprecented and sometimes so intense, it is hard to believe a human can experience such intense symptoms. And yet, people do go through and recover. If you look at the Success Stories, you'll see that people almost always tell that they thought they would never recover, that they were the worst cases. And yet, they do get better. Arti, things are very difficult for you at the moment, and I feel sorry for that and hope you'll feel some relief soon. But please, never give up hope : there are Success Stories everywhere. Take care ❤️ 1 2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam. 2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg. 2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg). 25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details : topic/21457 Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil Current medication : * 7pm Diazepam : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020) * 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)/ 6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21) I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Arti Posted November 19, 2020 Author Share Posted November 19, 2020 @Erell thanks for your warm words!! Your right everyone think he is the worst case. And i really think that for me because i never read that someone Else have sympthoms like me. I Would hope and believe but i cannot. Without sleep it it awfull this is the terriblest Thing ever you cannot think you cannot feel you can nothing. You even Not tired. Sometimes in short Moments everything calm down a little and i got hope but meanwhile i trust them No longer because after that Moment it comes back much stronger. And to be honest the only recent that i am still alive is my environment my Family and my wife she moved out in another flat because of the Situation but still Hold to me. And the fact that i am meanwhile in a temporary Pension so i got money From the County. I Couldnt take care of myself alone. But anyway every second is a fight to survive second by second i dont know if much People are in this condition. I read many succes story yes but there are also stories From People wich never healed. So again thanks again for the warm words and the help ! I Would hope ! But i dont know how long a human can live without sleep. Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Arti Posted December 3, 2020 Author Share Posted December 3, 2020 Hello all, Let me write down my thougts I dont expect any advice or recomendations i am still at 25mg Dominal and 0,14mg diazepam. I struggle a Lot survive Minute by Minute. Things have become more strange and changed Not to better. My worst Symptome is the abilkty to sleep or perceive sleep. The nights are war and Fighting Not sleeping. It is a feeling that the brain never Switch off 24hours alerted. The morning Time beginning 3am ist the most awfull Thing that a human individuell can endure it is like the brain lost the ability to detect the states of Dream, think, sleep move recognize what happend sometimes also in the evening It is like the brain for microseconds shutt down eyes still open Dream coming in the mind and then Switch on again and i dont know what happend. But yes i explained it several times so cold coffe i read this Phänomen never before on no other Person It changes also and become more strange day by day. The days are endure frome Minute to Minute. Sure there are better hours then i could Go to the Supermarkt or have a walk or small work but only for short Time then the brain have no more Space left to coordinate. Tv most Time Not possible. Relax Not possible anxiety 24h and the fear of felling in this half wake Dreams state. So sitting at the table most Time the only Thing to endure. Cooking often Works so supply myself with food most Time is ok. But all feel strange i lost my complete personality all Interest i had are Gone. I feel like in a movie with Bad quality. Even if i close the eyes the pictures are Dark and unclear. When a car passes or a Bird cry it feel different than before and it make more anxiety. I think this is Dp/DR. I cannot feel tiredness or sleepy. Sometimes a short Moment maybe a Minute or so i feel like ahh Would a nap be nice but i know it is Not a real feeling the true is Brain cannot calm or Relax. Akathisa very often cannot Hold the feet still i Think it become a little less but i think the recent is that i am so exhaust because of the lack of sleep that body is often Not able to get in akhathisia. So what can i expect From the Future. I read a Lot in die Forum if this is good or Not i so t know. There are many people were the normal sleep cycle never return stan or compsports and many more. So i am really rellay scarry Yes this is pesimistic but it happend for they. If i looking over die past two years it was pure hell But few Month or a year earlier it was not half as Bad as it is since my stupid second fast tapper Everything i did was Fals. But i wont Continue blame myself for this failures i did, my only aim was to get better. I could not know and Imagine at that Time that everything got worse then ever. So what can i do this is only a question to myself keep Fighting und Continue with the knowlege it could be possible that it become never ever better. I meanwhile can accept that i never would never ever Drink a coffe or a beer, Go to vacation, have Sex, eat what i want etc. This are things that i pass in my head and yes Life without that is possible. But with no sleep, this awful Thing in the morning this strange conditions in my brain, that i cant be there for my Family, my wife, my Brothers childs, my House, my Animals, because al my Rest Energy i have is for endure, breathing, Go to toilette, akathisia, anxiety, Hearbeat und keep the body of Minimum work. This i dont know maybe it Works for another year or Month or i dont know but Not for a long Time. And i think sometimes die body und brain got problems with no chance to Relax and Change Akkus Yes i read the succes stories, healing is possible i think Not complete healing but up to a certain point. Depending how much damage was done. And in my case a big damage is done. So is it worth to Continue to fight to Hold on Minute by Minute with the knowlege it could be become better but it could be also be permanet pain and hell. I dont know. Humans can endure a lot up to a point were everybody got broken. Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Aurorax Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 It's worth enduring minute by minute, Arti. Don't give up! I can't give you medical advice, and only you know what is best for you. But if I were you, then I would continue to taper the Dominal. I had severe insomnia and eventually had to take other drugs for a while during wd. They made me a lot worse. That might be the case for you, too, judging from your posts. I know you are in an absolute nightmare right now, but that says nothing about the future. I was unable to do a lot of the things you do, like sitting at a table, prepare food, go to the supermarket, and so on. If I can heal, so can you! ❤️ You have already proved that you are a very determined and resilient person. There is no doubt in my mind that you can make it to the other side and recover if you decide to do so. 🦋 Aurorax 2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg 2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax) 2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates 2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off 2005 Paxil 30 mg 2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates 2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working” 2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg. 2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg 2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg. 2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo. 2010, January until now: 100% drug free. Link to comment
Arti Posted December 3, 2020 Author Share Posted December 3, 2020 Hello Aurorax, You such a warm wonderfull Person thanks for your Message! No you cannot give me Medical advice, altostrata and the other mods give me the best advice and Support they could i am very thankfull for that!! Unfortunatelly i think it was too late for me to understand and follow this advice. Dont know how to explain. After my first too fast coming off and too high reinstate i Felt terrible full anxiety no sleep and so on i thougt this is Not endurable i was waiting 4 Month with the same dosage. It was awfull but From the View of now nothing, if this was hell now super hell at that Time i had Phases were i could still feel my personality and Windows. I sleeps worse but was able to detect sleep. I had anxiety whole day but Also small Windows. Now nothing of my old is left in my head, My House my environment is Not the same it looks different. My sleep is the pure hell. It may sound bad to you I know yes physically i could do small things. But I am forced to do that because i cannot Relax or calm not a Minute. It is not only akathisia i recognized that there is something wrong in my brain. That the brain cannot Switch off. Even if i try sit on the Coach my inner got fear Not because of the akathisia. It is like there is something inside me that give me fear if i Would Relax or calm. This is so exhausting it is like a rat in a cage no escape. Only counting the Minutes. Before i tappered and got off Too fast the second time i got to know someone by pm in The German Forum he told me you cannot tollerant the paroxetine longer you have to come off fast. I trusted him because i was feeling very Bad. And up too a certain point he was right the Dose was Too high But going off was the biggest mistake in my entire Life. I have real anxiety too lose all. All the wonderfull People Around me and my Life. My will Too Life is big otherwise i Wouldnt be here. it is becoming worse day by day and i becoming more weak and exhaust day by day. And i dont know how long i can Hold on and fight bevor i break. And with wich weapons Distract breathing, Relax music tv nothing Works my brain dont allows i cannot reach the brain or mind with these things i try. I eat only frech selfmade food. I drink only water. I took fish oil and small amount Magnesium. And im Know if it is possible to heal it take a long Time. But anyhow there is a feeling in my head That there is the ability to sleep and receive too registrate the different between Dream thinking hallucinations Trance etc is destroyed. Other things like akathisia Freezing, urinating, skin tingle, anxiety etc. most of the day but random. This sleep concicious Thing is permanet every Time present. I am so glad Aurorax that you are now in a better place! Thank you for the words again! And Excuse me for my Conditions that i am so hopeless i cannot Imagine that it will be better at one Time. Greetings Arti Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Mentor Cocopuffz17 Posted December 3, 2020 Mentor Share Posted December 3, 2020 Stay strong! You will get through this! I felt how you are feeling around a year ago and never thought I would feel better. I feel way better now! You are stronger than you know! Never forget everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed! I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 2008 to 2019 - 20 mg Paroxetine Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful. 2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 2021 - Feb. 12 - 24 months off paroxetine. I have minor challenges now. Tinnitus/Headaches are still around but are reduced by a massive amount. Link to comment
Aurorax Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 No need to apologize for being in your situation, Arti. ❤️ Your description of your state of mind is very familiar to me. I could not feel calm, not even for a minute for months and years. I know it's pure hell. But that doesn't mean your brain is permanently damaged, even though it certainly feels that way. I'm still not sure why you don't want to taper the Dominal as Alto and others have suggested. You don't have to explain if you don't want to. I know it's none of my business. But I care about you, and I struggle to understand your choice. If there is a possibility that getting off this drug would make you feel better, then why not give it a try? Many of us have made the same mistakes with ct:s, reinstatements, and quick tapers as you have. That's ok. It's never too late to heal as long as we are still alive. Aurorax 1 2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg 2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax) 2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates 2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off 2005 Paxil 30 mg 2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates 2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working” 2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg. 2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg 2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg. 2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo. 2010, January until now: 100% drug free. Link to comment
Arti Posted December 4, 2020 Author Share Posted December 4, 2020 It is my deepest wish to come off the Dominal i tapered 3 weeks ago from 27,5mg to 25mg. But i fear everything . I becoming worse and worse i dont know what is Dominal and what is paroxetin. And what i dont understand if i have adverse reaction to Dominal it should become better with lower Dose. But i got worse. I dont know what is the best. Alto also recommemded increase the diazepam and yes this could maybe help but i resist so much again this. I hate it that i also startet this drug. So i can understand if Alto is angry about me as i told in this difficult Situation she did the best Support. I will Continue taper Domal but i am so scared about every Change. Thank you for taking care of me!! Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted December 4, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 4, 2020 6 hours ago, Arti said: I becoming worse and worse i dont know what is Dominal and what is paroxetin. From your signature, you came off paroxetine in April 2020, so yes, some of your symptoms may be from an antidepressant wave. However, it could also be side effects and / or withdrawal effects from your current drugs. Please list the drugs you are currently taking, the dose, and the time(s) of day you take each one. Link to comment
Arti Posted December 4, 2020 Author Share Posted December 4, 2020 7am 1g fish oil 12am 1g fish oil, 50mg Magnesium 5pm 0,14mg diazepam 8:30pm 25mg Dominal Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted December 4, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 4, 2020 1 hour ago, Arti said: 7am 1g fish oil 12am 1g fish oil, 50mg Magnesium 5pm 0,14mg diazepam 8:30pm 25mg Dominal Thanks, Arti. This is helpful. 23 hours ago, Arti said: My sleep is the pure hell. Questions: 1. Is Dominal sedating? Is diazepam sedating? 2. Is the "12am 1g fish oil, 50mg Magnesium" correct? Or do you mean 12 pm? Link to comment
Arti Posted December 4, 2020 Author Share Posted December 4, 2020 1. no both are Not sedating I dont know a sleepy or tired feeling since many Month 2. I mean Lunch Time Sorry ist it pm ? Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted December 4, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 4, 2020 (edited) It's less confusing to say midday or noon (12 o'clock middle of the day) or midnight (12 o'clock middle of the night). Technically 12.00am is middle of the day but once it ticks over then it is 12.00.01pm (hours minutes seconds). 12.00pm is middle of the night but once it ticks over it is 12..00.01am. A lot of people get confused about this so using the words midday (or noon) and midnight are better. The other option is to use 24 hour time, eg 1600 hrs is 4.00pm, but some people can have difficulties with that because they don't use it to become familiar with it. Edited December 4, 2020 by ChessieCat * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted December 5, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 5, 2020 18 hours ago, Arti said: 1. no both are Not sedating I dont know a sleepy or tired feeling since many Month 2. I mean Lunch Time Sorry ist it pm ? Thanks, Arti. Yes, lunch time would be pm. Do these drugs have any affect on you? I asked about sedation because you take them at night. Do either of them make you agitated or restless? Or do you feel no changes at all when you take them? Link to comment
Arti Posted December 5, 2020 Author Share Posted December 5, 2020 Shep thanks for asking i am in such strange conditions that i recognize Not so much After diazepam i detect sometimes little Bit calm most nothing After Dominal most Time it got worse cannot explain but i feel worse anxiety, agitation confusion whatever. But in generell i dont know sometimes i got some Kind of sleepy but it feels terrible like a Trance und sleep anyway Not possible But if i reduce anyway everything got worse or it is From paroxetine withdrawl My Main issue is that i cannot perceive sleep i lay down go to the toilette Lay down and i cannot say if i sleep or Not between. I am so nervous i stand up during the night sometimes 30or 40 times to the toillet For me it feels like i am 24h wake like a rat in a cage no chance to rest relaxt or sleep I cannot feel a sleep the Mechanism of sleep is destroyed. Brain Switch Not off Permanet on full alert. I have fear of the bed because terrible things happend during the night Not knowing in wich state of conscious. It is a war. And in die morning madness hallucinations, akathisia So forgive me i lost all hope completely without sleep Life is Not possible every day more parts of the brain are dieing because of no sleep Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted December 5, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 5, 2020 (edited) 27 minutes ago, Arti said: Shep thanks for asking i am in such strange conditions that i recognize Not so much After diazepam i detect sometimes little Bit calm most nothing After Dominal most Time it got worse cannot explain but i feel worse anxiety, agitation confusion whatever. If the dominal is making you feel agitated, do you think it would help to take it earlier in the day instead of right before you try to sleep? If so, you could move it by one hour per day. This gradual change is gentlest on your nervous system. For example, instead of taking it at 8:30 tonight, you would take it at 7:30 and then tomorrow at 6:30 in the evening. You would keep moving it until you got it to the time you wish to take it going forward. Edited December 5, 2020 by Shep added more info Link to comment
Arti Posted December 5, 2020 Author Share Posted December 5, 2020 I tried this but had the feeling it also becoming worse and altostrata said I should take it away From diazepam. I am so so confused i cannot say really what Dominal do i think it makes it worse but really detect i cannot. I had always the hope that this confusion and psychosic states in the night are From Dominal but i reduced it From 40mg to 25mg the past Month and it becoming also worth And during the day i have also often psychosic states and madness but Dominal only has half Life Time of 2 to 3 hours. And the nights becoming worse and worse Ist it the stupid paroxetin tappering up and down i did maybe i shoot up my sleep Mechanism completely. If i closed the eyes extreme anxiety coming up i See scenes and pictures Dialogs. Often i dont know where i am. This is worst between 3am and 6am so i dont know. And if this is the Dominal why is ist now so extreme since i got of paroxetine is it possible that cns changed since that and i react different to Dominal now To be honest i cannot Life with this without sleep. Its my own fault but i wont do that, if reinstate paroxetine Would bring some small Benefit i Would do that but I think everything is lost Sorry for my words thanks for your Support! Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Arti Posted December 6, 2020 Author Share Posted December 6, 2020 Thanks shep again for you effort!! I will think about moving again the Dominal earlier. I did a small reduction to 23,75mg two days ago so i have to wait before other changes. Sorry for my Doom Posts i am over the Limit. And i cant get the thougt out of my had that it is to late and Too much damage is done. I feel so different and worse than few weeks and Month before. And i read so much Horror stories. I will try to stay away of the Forum stories for a while. This Trigger me so much. Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted December 6, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 6, 2020 On 12/4/2020 at 12:27 AM, Arti said: i tapered 3 weeks ago from 27,5mg to 25mg. 17 hours ago, Arti said: I did a small reduction to 23,75mg two days ago Arti, this is too fast. Within less than a month, you went from 27.5 mg down to 23.75 mg, which is a 13.64% reduction. Please see: Why taper by 10% of my dosage? The 10% taper method recommends a 10% dosage reduction every 4 weeks, with the 10% calculated on the last dosage. I would either updose back to 25 mg or hold for a few weeks before making any changes. Link to comment
Arti Posted December 7, 2020 Author Share Posted December 7, 2020 Ok then i hold a few weeks. Alto told me maybe because i cannot tollerate the Dominal i could tapper gradually within every 2 weeks. But maybe she was meaning less than 10%. And i missunderstood it Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted December 7, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 7, 2020 8 hours ago, Arti said: Ok then i hold a few weeks. Alto told me maybe because i cannot tollerate the Dominal i could tapper gradually within every 2 weeks. But maybe she was meaning less than 10%. And i missunderstood it If you're having an adverse reaction to Dominal, then it might warrant a faster reduction. But if the faster reduction is causing upticks in symptoms that are worse than the adverse reaction, then that's a sign you need to slow down. You are the best judge of your symptoms, so you'll need to decide if you're going too fast and need to slow down and let your nervous system catch up. If you're getting worse by tapering fast, then it's a sign you're tapering too fast. Usually when someone is having an adverse reaction, they will feel better by having less of the drug in their system. I hope this clarifies our advice. Link to comment
Arti Posted December 7, 2020 Author Share Posted December 7, 2020 Yes thanks shep. for me it is Not recognizeable what is causing what so difficult for me I hope i can find a way. Thanks ! May i Ask another question i recognized that i cannot tollerant sugar or some Kind of food makes everything worse. As i know it right you know many things about food Is honey or Maple sirup the same for the body than undustrial sugar is it also aktivating? And do you know if vinegar for salad is ok i read that there is little Bit Alcohol inside? Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted December 7, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 7, 2020 7 hours ago, Arti said: May i Ask another question i recognized that i cannot tollerant sugar or some Kind of food makes everything worse. As i know it right you know many things about food Is honey or Maple sirup the same for the body than undustrial sugar is it also aktivating? And do you know if vinegar for salad is ok i read that there is little Bit Alcohol inside? The best way to know if a food affects you is to keep a food diary. If you are unsure only try a small amount to see how your react. Please note that SA does not provide diet advice. I suggest that you do some research on the internet if you want to find out how the body processes different types of sugars. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Arti Posted December 26, 2020 Author Share Posted December 26, 2020 @Altostrata Sorry for disturbing on Christmass I increased at 23.12 diazepam From 0,14mg to 0,17mg I thougt it is better but i got inner Vibrations 24.12 0,17mg diazepam i got inner Vibrations and white Pixel areas at my vision field 25.15 0,17mg diazepam the same and Freezing, pain at the whole body, heat in the body, Chills, head preasure extreme akathisia Is it a adverse reaction to diazepam still Dominal and 23.75mg I have fear what should i do stay or Go back to 0,14mg diazepam Sorry again please Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
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