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Icip: Has anyone with these symptoms had them improve, or completely go away?

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Icip

Hello all,

 

After some misplaced reluctance to create an account and my own thread, my anxiety is skyrocketing and this is the only way I can think of calming it.

 

I took Sertraline for a single day (did not like how it made me feel + worsened hyperactivity) back in late August/early September, what followed in the next few weeks was an onslaught of generalised anxiety along with anxiety attacks. This was new for me.

A week after returning to University in mid-September I experienced ‘flu-like’ symptoms, an all-consuming fatigue, malaise, brain fog, and depression (of which I assumed was caused by these feelings). Due to the increased anxiety I had been experiencing since that one tablet I took in late August, I decided to try the Sertraline again in hope that I could ride out it’s initial symptoms and find my feet and mind again. The week in Sertraline whilst plagued with poor concentration and short-term memory, was blissful to say the least, I even text my mum exclaiming, ‘I haven’t felt this good since I was ten!’; meaning that I hadn’t a care in the world; I felt free again.

 

Because of my work-load at university, I felt like it was best to stop the Sertraline as it was making it hard for me to spell, think creatively, and empathise with my newly formed girlfriend.

 

After the abrupt stop (I wouldn’t call it a ‘cold-turkey’ as was only a single week, I may be naive however in saying this. Please correct me if I’m wrong) I felt okay, able to work, excitable if not a little too excitable, but the general feeling was that within a week, I’d be me again.

 

Two weeks after stopping the five consecutive doses of sertraline, I noticed that I was gradually feeling more and more spaced out with every day that passed until it morphed into full-blown depersonalisation. I felt disconnected, empty, like I was high in caffeine 24/7, or even flying through a dream would be an accurate tell of its qualities. This continued, while getting better slightly with each day passed for just under a month, it’s hopefully subsided. During this period I had tunnel vision, everything seemed blurry and I felt dizzy when out and about/stressful or anxious places. I had what I believe is called aphasia, understanding was fine, I just couldn’t work or produce literature to save my life. My concentration/attention span had disappeared, I couldn’t read articles let alone absorb any of their information.

 

The blurry vision has gone, but has been replaced with an ever so slight static or I’ve seen it being called a ‘haze’, only really noticeable in the dark. My vision seems darker than it was before and I guess ‘not right’, it does seemed to have improved by a smidgen though. Whilst I wouldn’t say that I’m still depersonalised, I still feel a little detached from my surroundings, this can fluctuate in some circumstances, and almost disappear in some. I have double vision that only comes on in the night (early morning), light trails that become worse the longer I stay up at night for. Street lights also produce a horrible glare, this can return to normal levels when not stressed, but if I’m with someone who provokes this, or start worrying + looking for it everywhere, it can become much worse with even entering a shop becoming a behemoth if a task. I am also plagued with a low-frequency tinnitus, sounds sort of like steam, or a quiet tv static. This condition is all I’ve been able to think about since I’ve had it, the anxiety has ramped up, along with my emotions in the past two weeks and I’ve just been unable to function. This has all been accompanied by a slight brain fog and when stressed, pressure in my eyes and head (the feeling of pressure has got a lot better, almost non-existent now).

 

Is there anyone out there with these symptoms who’ve seen them subside/go away?

I’ve read online about visual snow and I’m terrified that this isn’t going to get better. I feel like I’ve ruined my life and feel that I’m stuck, dependent on my mum. I’m even worrying about what will happen to me once she has passed.

Im really worried that this is going to be my new baseline.

 

Thank you all for this amazing site,

 

Icip.

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Sassenach

Hello  Icip and welcome to SA.

 

This site is run entirely by volunteer Administrators and Moderators, all have been through or going through withdrawal.

There are no commercial interests or influences  involved .

 

I am sorry you are having such a rough time but you are now in the right place.

 

The site is currently extremely busy so please ensure you answer any requests from staff fully.

 

On 12/10/2019 at 3:51 PM, Icip said:

I decided to try the Sertraline again

When was this?

What dose were you taking?

Have you taken any other meds or supplements during the last 24 months?

 

On 12/10/2019 at 3:51 PM, Icip said:

(I wouldn’t call it a ‘cold-turkey’ as was only a single week

It is still cold turkey.

You are experiencing W/D (withdrawal symptoms) from the sudden cessation of the A/D.

The only known way to mitigate W/D symptoms is by reinstating a small dose of the drug.

Please see;

about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/

dr-joseph-glenmullens-withdrawal-symptom-checklist/

 

Do you have Sertraline available at home currently?

 

As soon as we recieve the drugs info. we can assess your situation.

In the meantime DO NOT ATTEMPT REINSTATEMENT WITHOUT ASKING US TO SUGGEST A SUITABLE DOSE please.

Please feel free to browse the site, it is a wealth of info.

Other members threads will give you an insight and the opportunity to share experiences.

 

Again welcome.

 

Sassenach

 

 

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Hell

Hey. I took sertraline for month but I got double vision from other meds before that (sertraline might have worsened it). Unfortunately it never improved and it might be getting worse with time.

 

It is most noticable with strong lights and white letters on the screen. Sometimes it is better if I close my eyes for a while and open them. It is gone completely if I look through the pinhole, you can try making a small hole with your fingers and look through it.

 

Diplopia is mostly vertical and appear above bright letters on the screen for example but it happens below as well depending on the angle of my eyes. 

 

Google monocular diplopia and/or astygmatism for more info.

 

Edit: and yeah it is worse when looking at distant objects and better with more lighting. Worse in dark. Worse when squinting. And for me right eye is worse.

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justjosh5000

Icip,

I've had some vision problems this past year, most likely caused by starting and stopping a few different SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Check my signature for the med history.

 

First and foremost, your life is not ruined at all.

 

What I struggled with most this past year was the same feeling that you have now. I worried that I'd never get used to how my vision felt. The truth is that you absolutely will. Don't give up. Fight for yourself and keep things consistent. Don't give your symptoms power over you, I made that mistake. It is possible that they will heal and go away, or fade into the background completely as your brain adjusts to them.

 

I have had symptoms that I previously thought unmanageable fade into the background. Don't give up hope. You will get through this if you continue healthy living, and being present in the moment. Go out with your girlfriend to a concert. Start a new hobby. If the dark bothers you, turn on a light. The less power you give these symptoms and the less you investigate them, they better off you will be. Please believe me on that one, I've been through it.

 

Stay strong. Best.

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Icip
6 hours ago, Sassenach said:

Hello  Icip and welcome to SA.

 

This site is run entirely by volunteer Administrators and Moderators, all have been through or going through withdrawal.

There are no commercial interests or influences  involved .

 

I am sorry you are having such a rough time but you are now in the right place.

 

The site is currently extremely busy so please ensure you answer any requests from staff fully.

 

When was this?

What dose were you taking?

Have you taken any other meds or supplements during the last 24 months?

 

It is still cold turkey.

You are experiencing W/D (withdrawal symptoms) from the sudden cessation of the A/D.

The only known way to mitigate W/D symptoms is by reinstating a small dose of the drug.

Please see;

about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/

dr-joseph-glenmullens-withdrawal-symptom-checklist/

 

Do you have Sertraline available at home currently?

 

As soon as we recieve the drugs info. we can assess your situation.

In the meantime DO NOT ATTEMPT REINSTATEMENT WITHOUT ASKING US TO SUGGEST A SUITABLE DOSE please.

Please feel free to browse the site, it is a wealth of info.

Other members threads will give you an insight and the opportunity to share experiences.

 

Again welcome.

 

Sassenach

 

 

Hi Sassenach,

 

I took the five doses of sertraline for five consecutive days around two months ago now, probably exactly that long, I never thought that such a short period of intake would do so much. My dose was 25mg, I took half of a tablet each day. Stupidly during the third or so week of withdrawal effects coming on, I took St. Johns Wort as I believed that at the time, my symptoms were purely a worse 'rebound of symptoms' caused by quitting the drug.

 

After starting to feel bad, I threw all of my sertraline in the bin. I have long considered reinstatement but see no reason. I'm fine with waiting out these symptoms. It's just a case if I ever can wait them out. The light glare comes on when I'm stressed or overly anxious, then doesn't go away till I've slept.

 

The double vision (diplopia) only comes on late at night when I'm tired, and only from a certain distance away from my eyes which seems to be in-between far distance, and short-distance. This is the same for the trailing light, it rises in severity the later up at night I stay or am awake.

 

Last night I couldn't sleep, I looked out of my window at around 5am to the pleasant surprise of seeing three moons in the sky, all diagonal from each other!!! each were more feint than the last; I did not know this was possible hahaha.

 

If I 'wait this out', will these symptoms subside? I can't emphasise enough how eager I am to feel like me again, to not feel anyway in the slightest impaired or ruined so to speak.

 

Thank you for your response, it means so much to have someone reach ouch :)))

 

Icip.

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Icip
5 hours ago, Hell said:

Hey. I took sertraline for month but I got double vision from other meds before that (sertraline might have worsened it). Unfortunately it never improved and it might be getting worse with time.

 

It is most noticable with strong lights and white letters on the screen. Sometimes it is better if I close my eyes for a while and open them. It is gone completely if I look through the pinhole, you can try making a small hole with your fingers and look through it.

 

Diplopia is mostly vertical and appear above bright letters on the screen for example but it happens below as well depending on the angle of my eyes. 

 

Google monocular diplopia and/or astygmatism for more info.

 

Edit: and yeah it is worse when looking at distant objects and better with more lighting. Worse in dark. Worse when squinting. And for me right eye is worse.

Hiiiiii,

 

I'm so sorry to hear all of this, are you coping well? Mine doesn't seem to be constant, it just worsens at night and with stress.

 

Sertraline does seem to be such a horrible drug, I only tried it after hearing raving reviews from a friend who takes it daily. In hindsight I really didn't need it, nor should have took it. What a week can do to you hey!

 

A year from what I've read on here and elsewhere does seem to be a short amount of time, maybe its worsening from dual-withdrawals. I've read on facebook forums that some people have had these symptoms completely subside. I really hope yours do.

 

If I have to wait for two years for this stuff to go, I'll be happy.

 

Do you have a thread where I can keep up to date with your wellbeing?

 

All the best,

 

Reubin.

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Icip
5 hours ago, justjosh5000 said:

Icip,

I've had some vision problems this past year, most likely caused by starting and stopping a few different SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Check my signature for the med history.

 

First and foremost, your life is not ruined at all.

 

What I struggled with most this past year was the same feeling that you have now. I worried that I'd never get used to how my vision felt. The truth is that you absolutely will. Don't give up. Fight for yourself and keep things consistent. Don't give your symptoms power over you, I made that mistake. It is possible that they will heal and go away, or fade into the background completely as your brain adjusts to them.

 

I have had symptoms that I previously thought unmanageable fade into the background. Don't give up hope. You will get through this if you continue healthy living, and being present in the moment. Go out with your girlfriend to a concert. Start a new hobby. If the dark bothers you, turn on a light. The less power you give these symptoms and the less you investigate them, they better off you will be. Please believe me on that one, I've been through it.

 

Stay strong. Best.

Hello Josh,

 

This is so comforting to read, thank you :)). I have OCD so tend to become fixated on a particular thing, recently it's been how I've felt 'in the moment', whether that's been if I've felt detached, attached, emotionally present, the noticeability of my tinnitus, and my vision. I do hope that they disappear, for a long time now I've just wanted to feel like myself.

 

What symptoms went away for you? The blurriness of my vision has completely gone, I think my light sensitivity has become less pronounced i.e. I used to be sensitive all day everyday leading to me walking around with my eyes focussed on the ground, oh how I came to hate floor lights hehe. For me, the vision problems only came on after the bout of depersonalisation, during it, everything would seem so detailed, yet so unreal and fake. As this has all been subject to change, I'm hoping that my current state will be too. I feel like I'm getting better, but everyday fight with feelings of, 'will today be my new baseline?', or 'has this gotten any better?'.

 

I'm so glad that you've found some relative peace within the midst of your symptoms, and I hope that your symptoms may continue to get better. This site seems to be full of people on a journey, I guess mine is just getting started.

 

All the best, thank you,

 

Reubin.

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Sassenach

Hi Icip

 

15 hours ago, Icip said:

I have long considered reinstatement but see no reason. I'm fine with waiting out these symptoms. It's just a case if I ever can wait them out.

It is your decision.

As you will see from the links I sent you two months is outside the normal period we would recommend for reinstatement but has been done successfully.

Are your symptoms more or less severe than one month ago?

On 12/10/2019 at 3:51 PM, Icip said:

Im really worried that this is going to be my new baseline.

 

Your baseline is not a short period but a moving average during your stabilisation, ie three steps forward, two back.

As long as the overall trend is positive you will get better.

I cannot tell you when as we react differently, but we do get well.

15 hours ago, Icip said:

I have OCD so tend to become fixated on a particular thing

You need to focus on distraction and acceptance techniques, please see

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/

 

Keep in touch and if you experience any major uptick in symptoms let us know.

 

All the best.

 

Sassenach

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Hell
15 hours ago, Icip said:

I'm so sorry to hear all of this, are you coping well?

 

Do you have a thread where I can keep up to date with your wellbeing?

Yeah you can check my profile, you will find my thread there. Unfortunately I have bigger problem than my vision and that is insomnia. I could live with my vision being like this but I am afraid what will not sleeping do to me.

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Icip
7 hours ago, Sassenach said:

Hi Icip

 

It is your decision.

As you will see from the links I sent you two months is outside the normal period we would recommend for reinstatement but has been done successfully.

Are your symptoms more or less severe than one month ago?

Your baseline is not a short period but a moving average during your stabilisation, ie three steps forward, two back.

As long as the overall trend is positive you will get better.

I cannot tell you when as we react differently, but we do get well.

You need to focus on distraction and acceptance techniques, please see

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/

 

Keep in touch and if you experience any major uptick in symptoms let us know.

 

All the best.

 

Sassenach

Hello Sassenach,

 

Whilst writing that, I seemed to have been going through a wave. I felt just I guess emotionally ‘wrong’, suicidal thoughts and long crying bouts that would spur for the entire day.

Today and yesterday has been much better, like a lot better which has surprised me greatly. My vision seems to be a little less grey and dull, I may be wrong though, glare isn’t as pronounced. When stressed, something almost triggers and this reverses making glare more intense + vision more tepid, possibly creating a wave.

As of writing this, my vision does seem to have the slightest ‘static’ whilst in the dark, or if I look closely into black objects or dimly lit spaces. I’ve been to my GP today and enquired about all of this stuff, she says that the slight static in darkness is normal, I think mine is exacerbated by my eyesight seeming darker than it once was; this will hopefully be subject to positive change within the near-future.

my short-term memory, concentration, and working memory do seem to still be a little ajar, though getting significantly better since for instance last week or the week before. Everything for me seems to be happening on a ‘week by week’ basis. The double vision only occurs past a certain time of night, regardless of how tired I am, which leads me to believe that something hormonal may be triggering it. Same goes for glare really.

 

I’m theorising that my symptoms are due to hyper-sensitivity so should hopefully get better with time.

 

One thing that hasn’t improved as far as I am aware, is my tinnitus. Still seems to wax and wane throughout the day. However it only ever really affects one war, my left. It sometimes switches to my right.

 

My GP told me today that she would have never even have prescribed antidepressants to me (was another man who did this after telling him one single mile symptom of my OCD), maybe just a muscle relaxant. I was verging on tears.

 

I hope you are doing well, I feel a little less alone so thank you. I am not wanting to further harm my brain, I took this dose of medication because of consistent worry that I’d somehow managed to drop IQ points. I don’t really want to make that a reality.

 

Thank you and all the best,

 

Icip.

 

 

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Icip
7 hours ago, Hell said:

Yeah you can check my profile, you will find my thread there. Unfortunately I have bigger problem than my vision and that is insomnia. I could live with my vision being like this but I am afraid what will not sleeping do to me.

Hello,

 

I hope and am sure with time that your sleeping will resolves. From browsing this forum far and wide there seems to be quite a few, maybe more as I don’t think I’ve even scratched the surface of the depth of content on here. What do you do on the daily? Any exercise, out of the house much?

 

I’ve seemed to have come out of a moderately long week or so long wave, during this time I’d have the feeling of a fight or flight response for the entire night, an inner restlessness and butterflies feeling I suppose. I abated this acutely through keeping busy, chores, and spending time with friends; as hard as those things were and are for me right now. I can understand that your problem is a lot more complex in its solution than what I’ve said, but time heals all wounds, your brain would leave a cognitive issue affecting sleep untouched. I really do hope that you get better soon.

 

Thank you,

 

Reubin.

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RusTW

This will fade.im tapering zoloft.do u get fatigued ?flu symptoms? 

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Icip
3 hours ago, RusTW said:

This will fade.im tapering zoloft.do u get fatigued ?flu symptoms? 

Hey Rus,

 

hopefully it will and is seeming to in such a short time  (with each window sees significant improvement, they are becoming much prolonged). My vision is still a little weird, not as weird however, the tinnitus is still also here but has retreated from both ears to one. Have you had any of these symptoms? Any cognitive ones too?

 

I've had all flu symptoms but a runny nose, something that’s popped up recently for me is very bad joint pain. Fatigue is also a big hitter for me, I’m fatigued yet aren’t sleeping much (I am busy currently so that may be why), mental fatigue is by far the worst aspect of this.

 

All of my symptoms become far worse with some foods. Whilst volunteering today I was offered some bread and butter pudding on my break. My tinnitus went from 20 to 80 really fast, along with a more excessive mental fatigue + ‘spacing out’. This is normal I guess for consuming a lot of sugar, I guess it just adds salt to the wound. Do you have (noticeable) diet related fluctuations?

 

Hope you’re doing well and will only get better,

 

Icip.

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RusTW

How long have you had fatigue and flu symptoms?Can u explain them.do u get low fever 

Yes diet is huge.low fodmap mostly cheated lately though going back tomorrow  .

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Boris

I developed low intensity TV like static tinnitus in my left ear while tapering off Paroxetine or caused by Pregablin I was taking. It's never gone away 3.5 years later but I rarely notice it now unless it randomly comes to the foreground when I'm stressed. Once I stopped worrying about it I stopped noticing it. I can hear it now in bed as I'm talking about it but you eventually get use to it.

 

Although I don't have OCD but I obsess about things so I found the tinnitus extremely difficult at first.

 

I've always seen static in the dark, never knew that was a thing! 

 

One more thing. I was on anti depressants for 10 years and I thought symptoms would never go. But most have gone and I think all but the tinnitus will eventually bugger off! 

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Icip
On 12/14/2019 at 11:44 PM, RusTW said:

How long have you had fatigue and flu symptoms?Can u explain them.do u get low fever 

Yes diet is huge.low fodmap mostly cheated lately though going back tomorrow  .

The feeling of flu is mostly cognitive for me. I’ve never had flu before so I’m going on assumption alone that this must be what it ‘feels like’.

My fatigue right now has become so awfully bad. I could get any hours of sleep every night yet find myself close to dozing off if I close my eyes for more than a few seconds! (I normally do fall asleep). This can happen during anytime of the day.

 

Despite feeling like I could sleep, a lot of the time when this occurs I’m just left in i guess an almost ‘drugged state’, I just feel so lifeless and tired, still cognitively active but stuck.

 

Over the last two weeks I’ve had joint aches and pain come on across my entire body, mainly focussed on ‘hot spots’ like my left arm, right leg, and both hips.

 

I had a very painful left jaw joint too, was hard to eat anything but luckily only lasted for a day; is still getting better.

 

Hope this info helps, I’m confident that it will pass.

 

Icip.

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Icip
On 12/15/2019 at 1:36 AM, Boris said:

I developed low intensity TV like static tinnitus in my left ear while tapering off Paroxetine or caused by Pregablin I was taking. It's never gone away 3.5 years later but I rarely notice it now unless it randomly comes to the foreground when I'm stressed. Once I stopped worrying about it I stopped noticing it. I can hear it now in bed as I'm talking about it but you eventually get use to it.

 

Although I don't have OCD but I obsess about things so I found the tinnitus extremely difficult at first.

 

I've always seen static in the dark, never knew that was a thing! 

 

One more thing. I was on anti depressants for 10 years and I thought symptoms would never go. But most have gone and I think all but the tinnitus will eventually bugger off! 

I asked my girlfriend about the static the other day, I’m not sure if I’m only just noticing it as have been micro-analysing my vision but she claims that she has it worse than I do, she also has low level tinnitus in her ears (I’m confident that I didn’t have mine before).

 

I’m struggling to rationalise whether I’m going mad, paranoid, or this is all just a part of recovery/withdrawal. I don’t seem to remember having the static, it also appears mildly in the light on large blank objects such as walls; maybe not as ‘static’, if you look closely it makes it seem as if the wall isn’t quite stable or still. I forgot to ask her about it during the day, didn’t want to seem obsessive heh.

 

The tinnitus is horrible, it can be ignored but it’s always there, I hope it’s getting better. Other than when I’m tired, it seems to fully retreat into my left ear, whilst nice that I atleast have one good ear, it’s still sucks and now is noticeable over music when listening at a comfortable volume.

 

Thank you for sharing about the snow, yourself and others are normalising it for me and making me think that it might just have always been there; I hope so!

 

Wishing you wellness and recovery soon,

 

Icip.

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RusTW
7 hours ago, Icip said:

The feeling of flu is mostly cognitive for me. I’ve never had flu before so I’m going on assumption alone that this must be what it ‘feels like’.

My fatigue right now has become so awfully bad. I could get any hours of sleep every night yet find myself close to dozing off if I close my eyes for more than a few seconds! (I normally do fall asleep). This can happen during anytime of the day.

 

Despite feeling like I could sleep, a lot of the time when this occurs I’m just left in i guess an almost ‘drugged state’, I just feel so lifeless and tired, still cognitively active but stuck.

 

Over the last two weeks I’ve had joint aches and pain come on across my entire body, mainly focussed on ‘hot spots’ like my left arm, right leg, and both hips.

 

I had a very painful left jaw joint too, was hard to eat anything but luckily only lasted for a day; is still getting better.

 

Hope this info helps, I’m confident that it will pass.

 

Icip.

Yes helpful thanks.Ive got a cornacopia of challenges. Cancer symptoms wd symptoms and infection symptoms. I need some more to keep me busy .

Flowing with the current in shitz creek.lol

We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for sometimes. 

Russ

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RusTW

I have had a increase in tinnitus myself. I've gotten used to it.When it stands out is when all is well within and the wd voice is on hush mode.I let it b and forget about it.Think it has something to do with the vestibular system being off.

Do u get dizzy often?

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Icip
25 minutes ago, RusTW said:

I have had a increase in tinnitus myself. I've gotten used to it.When it stands out is when all is well within and the wd voice is on hush mode.I let it b and forget about it.Think it has something to do with the vestibular system being off.

Do u get dizzy often?

Hey Rus,

 

You are a lot stronger than I to be going through all of that, along with the depth of drug history; I really do pray that you’ll be okay.

 

My tinnitus becomes worse when I feel worse it seems. No correlation other than sleep deprivation tied to it yet. I couldn’t sleep last night + my right ear started to ring at a far higher frequency, only subtle though.

 

i had horrible dizziness for the first four weeks or so of being in withdrawal, this coincided with blurred vision. These two demons have thankfully waned over time and are no longer present.

 

I’m looking at it from the angle of, our brains can’t punish us like this forever, it has to stop. After all symptoms are a showing of recovery and healing. Much as I hope for you.

 

how long has your dizziness persisted for and is there anything that you’ve noticed that can trigger it to worsen?

 

Take care,

 

Icip.

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RusTW

This will make you strong.

i think tinnitus lessons when you forget about it.

Play music with no vocals to sleep.white noise heater or fan helps.

I can tell you this we all are way stronger than we know from each hurdle we look back and go wow we made it.then we appreciate the struggle for what it is.

living with it is key.it does go away don worry.at first and still sometimes very scared but have proof ive made it tapering with illness.

learn to calm yourself when its bad.

 

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Icip
On 12/20/2019 at 8:35 PM, RusTW said:

This will make you strong.

i think tinnitus lessons when you forget about it.

Play music with no vocals to sleep.white noise heater or fan helps.

I can tell you this we all are way stronger than we know from each hurdle we look back and go wow we made it.then we appreciate the struggle for what it is.

living with it is key.it does go away don worry.at first and still sometimes very scared but have proof ive made it tapering with illness.

learn to calm yourself when its bad.

 

Thank you for the words :))

I can’t tell if I’m getting used to my symptoms or if they’re slowly subsiding; I truly hope for the latter.

 

How are you doing?

 

Icip.

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Icip

General Update:


Has been around exactly two months since withdrawal symptoms kicked in.


Improving:

 

My brain fog is lessening, short-term/working memory is improving along with aphasia and general abilities to plan, execute, and feel wholly engrossed in my day. Tinnitus has somewhat become less prominent, sometimes goes to both ears with a different type of sound in each.

Sensitivity to light + night sight has improved somewhat, things also are starting to seem a lot more colourful than before.


Worsening:

 

Constant joint pain + muscle fatigue. Visual static? - this seems to both be getting worse, yet also better; I really can’t describe it. Sometimes it clears up enough for me to forget about it, but when I first wake up/am tired it gets worse. In general it has improved as before it was at the same consistency as a constant.

 

Right now I just want the snow to clear up, I’ve seen on a few posts that withdrawal induced static in vision (only very noticeable in dimly lit rooms along with dark ones) has cleared up/significantly reduced. If I do have it + am not hyper-focussing on a normal phenomenon that I’ve never noticed before, it’s not that bad, I just become super anxious every time I notice it.

 

All of my symptoms become worse when I’m anxious. Then clear up a little after sleeping. I feel somewhat functional but just feel that little bit of brain fog which is really deterring me.

 

I really do feel sorry for anyone who’s going through a worse version of this. I only took this (there’s no one word to describe how awful and destructive this ‘medicine’ is) toxin for a week, god bless anyone who’s suffering on a much broader scale. I feel immobilised currently, have been told I should have never have taken Sertraline or any antidepressant. I only have mild OCD.

 

I’m still so worried that my cognition will never ever truly heal; it was my favourite part about myself until this. It seems to be coming back, everyday for me is spent worrying that how I am then will be my new baseline. I just want to get back in the level with my friends as I’m a student, my studies are my only goal/purpose right now. To think I ever wanted to go into Politics.

 

Sorry if this seems rather drab, I’m feeling better than when I last posted. I can feel happiness, I feel able to somewhat communicate, and able to look forward to things. I just can’t help but feel low, low that I’ve let myself do this to me, low that I didn’t extensively research the crap that I was prescribed in a cardboard box, and I guess low anticipating that I’ll always feel low. The tinnitus and visual static are just constant reminders of my failure I guess, and I want them gone.

 

Hope you can see the positives underneath this dreary blanket,

 

Icip.

 


 

 

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RusTW

time will heal.dont try to think too much.accept each day and things will improve. Live each day the best you can and build confidence in each accomplishment in wd

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Icip
On 1/4/2020 at 7:12 PM, RusTW said:

time will heal.dont try to think too much.accept each day and things will improve. Live each day the best you can and build confidence in each accomplishment in wd

Thank you,

 

May time heal us all, bless.

 

Icip.

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Icip

My symptoms don’t seem to be all so common and seem to trouble those who contract for many a while. I will keep log of them on here regardless of responses for those who need to see.

 

I certainly wish that when starting out, I could have found atleast one person to relate my symptoms to.

 

Right now, I’m not feeling good. Certainly better than even 20 days ago, but just in a bad wave. Symptoms have subtracted and reduced. The only new symptom to arise is neck pressure; blurry vision has also gotten a little worse (after getting so much better). Glare/sun beams have improved.

 

What I’m doing to feel better:

 

Eating whatever I want - yes this one is counterintuitive, but cutting out sugar seems to add a secondary withdrawal to the list and thus has seemed to have made me fair worse than without. Simple pleasures like a slice of cake have been paramount to me making it through each day.

 

Exercise, but when you feel like it (windows):

 

I used to run three times or so a week, continuing this through my illness has just exacerbated my symptoms + increased levels of anxiety. I’ve been careful to keep amongst my cake indulgence, but don’t pressure yourself and follow suit to what your brain says.

 

Make the most of your good days:

 

Aside from my undergrad degree which should be my life right now. When my brain permits, I try to do productive things, such as working on my hobby of photography and photo editing. Even if it’s stupid things like making images for my friends to use, any pleasure or humour gaining from this goes a million miles.

 

Cut out caffeine (barring chocolate) and alcohol:

 

For a couple of weeks, these two substances provided a slight bit of relief from the devastation of felt due to my symptoms. In the long run however, I could feel/tell that these weren’t going to be great.

Have I cheated this? Yes. I drank with my girlfriend the other night; withdrawal isn’t going to remove or takeover those who I deem closest in my life - feeling apart of something, or like you belong is certainly important. Without her, I would’ve given up at the first hurdle as bad as that sounds.

 

I am considering to add caffeine back in. Whilst my cognition improves noticeably with each (few) day(s), I still feel sluggish and ‘slow’, I guess expected with how taxing this all is on my brain. I am still laden with a general ‘fog’. Hopefully a little bit of coffee where necessary can help to kickstart things.

 

Other things like rest, and only pushing myself so far are all obvious. I hope this information can be helpful to some.

 

I am in no way yet healed, but feel like I’ve made some significant steps in the process of doing so. The return of my executive functioning, ability to think critically (still not 100%, maybe not even 80%), and general ability to plan and execute, have all been welcome additions to my arsenal. These are by far some of the scariest aspects of withdrawal, other than my chemical anxiety + chemical dread; but luckily for me these have subsided and only flare up acutely occasionally.

 

Thank you. I’m praying for you all.

 

Icip.

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Gigi12
On 12/11/2019 at 3:30 PM, justjosh5000 said:

Icip,

I've had some vision problems this past year, most likely caused by starting and stopping a few different SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Check my signature for the med history.

 

First and foremost, your life is not ruined at all.

 

What I struggled with most this past year was the same feeling that you have now. I worried that I'd never get used to how my vision felt. The truth is that you absolutely will. Don't give up. Fight for yourself and keep things consistent. Don't give your symptoms power over you, I made that mistake. It is possible that they will heal and go away, or fade into the background completely as your brain adjusts to them.

 

I have had symptoms that I previously thought unmanageable fade into the background. Don't give up hope. You will get through this if you continue healthy living, and being present in the moment. Go out with your girlfriend to a concert. Start a new hobby. If the dark bothers you, turn on a light. The less power you give these symptoms and the less you investigate them, they better off you will be. Please believe me on that one, I've been through it.

 

Stay strong. Best.

How long before symptoms get better? It has been 3 months and head pressure, ear blockages, terrible digestion, neck stiffness, lower back pain. I can’t function.

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Icip
1 hour ago, Gigi12 said:

How long before symptoms get better? It has been 3 months and head pressure, ear blockages, terrible digestion, neck stiffness, lower back pain. I can’t function.

Hi Gigi,

 

It’s been two and a bit months for me. Don’t let that dishearten you as I only took this rubbish for five days.

Threw months is still early doors, I nor anyone cannot tell you how long it will take to get better, but you just have to keep telling yourself that it will, because it will.

I too have ear pressure on my left side, along with tinnitus on my left ear only; it’s torture.

Head pressure seems to come and go I’m severity, right now I’m in a wave and just going outside seems to trigger it along with a worsening of my symptoms, this also applies to tiring myself out.

Just try to relax, stress is your worst enemy right now, things will start to get better but you may have to endure a lot before it does. 
 

Do you have any cognitive difficulties, ie brain fog, a general sense or something not being right up there, or increased (chemical) anxiety.

 

It would be nice if you could keep posting here, and explain your symptoms in greater detail. I will do the same, and maybe one day we can both break free from this prison together? Along with anyone else that’s going through the same.

 

Do you have some days, maybe even if you be just had one or two where you’ve felt good? Like things have gotten a little better? These come very rarely for me, and I often try to do too much in these days leading to a horrible crash.

 

Just take things slowly, and lightly. Our healing will come.

 

Stay strong and thank you for joining this thread.

 

Icip.

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Icip

Apologies for poor punctuation and grammar on previous post, fatigue has seemed to have taken heed over my list of symptoms. I can report that caffeine has like expected: worsened my symptoms. Anxiety has increased, tinnitus had increased momentarily, and sudden phantom senses appeared (feet felt like they were scolding hot and tingling).

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Icip

I also just thought I should add - whilst I drank alcohol (wine) on the one occasion, I  wholeheartedly recommend to all going through this and looking for something to relate to that you cut it out completely. This was something my SO wanted to do (I didn’t want to let her down), and has resulted in me having a pretty awful past couple of days. It certainly helps in the moment, but recovery for me atleast, is about looking long-term.

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Maui

Hello, I have the same weird eye issues, with bright white light at nigh, usually see it on my phone.

My brain fog is very upsetting as well.

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manymoretodays

Hi Maui and welcome,

Would you like to start an Introductions topic on yourself?

Introductions and updates forum

When you are in that forum just use the green new topic button in the upper right hand corner.

More about this:

 

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Icip
On 1/10/2020 at 5:00 AM, Maui said:

Hello, I have the same weird eye issues, with bright white light at nigh, usually see it on my phone.

My brain fog is very upsetting as well.

Hey Maui,


Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants.

 

Thank you for replying. How long have you been going through withdrawal for now, and can you explain your eye symptoms in a little greater detail? Mine have gotten a little bit better so I may be able to provide some relief?

 

Thank you and I hope you’re doing the best that you can be,

 

Icip.

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Maui

Hi Icip,

Thanks for the welcome. I have to add my med history, so people can see.

But In 2007 I got off paxil horrible w/d.

I have been on citalopram now maybe 4 years. Low dose 10mg, but I know it hasnt been working, I'm not sure of the correct term "poop out". So I have been getting similar w/d symptoms as I had previously. I started weaning off citalopram 12/19. My vision seems to be odd in the dark, looking at my phone with white letters. Sort of double at times. But only with white letters. It's odd.  If I read stuff sometimes the sentence doesn't make sense and I look and read a word wrong. Ex. Man or mom or something. Some brain fog too. It's very scary, I obsess that I have something seriously wrong. Did you have anything like this?

Thank you

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Icip
13 hours ago, Maui said:

Hi Icip,

Thanks for the welcome. I have to add my med history, so people can see.

But In 2007 I got off paxil horrible w/d.

I have been on citalopram now maybe 4 years. Low dose 10mg, but I know it hasnt been working, I'm not sure of the correct term "poop out". So I have been getting similar w/d symptoms as I had previously. I started weaning off citalopram 12/19. My vision seems to be odd in the dark, looking at my phone with white letters. Sort of double at times. But only with white letters. It's odd.  If I read stuff sometimes the sentence doesn't make sense and I look and read a word wrong. Ex. Man or mom or something. Some brain fog too. It's very scary, I obsess that I have something seriously wrong. Did you have anything like this?

Thank you

Hey Maui,

 

I’m having the same eye problems as you, I have also spoken to a person who I met off of a Facebook group based around withdrawal who has reported this too, I believe the term for it is ‘ghosting’. He had been taking antidepressants for 10 years then quit cold turkey, he’s around two and a half years into withdrawal; if you’d still call it that, so he has plenty of time left for healing.

 

I have slight ghosting (does not seem as bad as yours from what you’ve written already) at first glance of white text in a black screen, if I blink a few times or try to focus elsewhere on the screen it usually disappears. This doesn’t stop it from seeming horribly though, I’m so sorry that you have this. I also have:

 

Increased light sensitivity (lights, especially LEDs seem horribly searing and intense).

 

Sun bursts (lines/streaks appearing from lights).

 

Ghosting (explained above).

 

My vision started off being almost ‘surreal’, everything looked too detailed, then went blurry, then too real again + grey this time/dull (dull colours has subsided).

I’d love to tell you that this is getting better, I’m just not sure, if so it’s only minute. Certainly areas of it has (I’m only two and a half months into this).

 

When you say that you can’t read thing right, is this because of how to looks, or how your brain is interpreting the word? If it’s the interpretation, this is called Aphasia; I had this and it is getting a lot better.

 

Your brain fog will get better, it’s like everything I’ve mentioned above: a possible symptom of withdrawal. Mine has tenfold. It’s not completely dissipated yet, I still struggle a little with spelling, my memory, and concentration, I am happy to report that these are all improving.

 

I had obsessive thoughts like that at the start, you just have to keep in mind that through neuroplasticity, the brain can and will heal. The symptoms show that your brain is trying to heal and that it knows something isn’t quite right. The thoughts may worsen for you, I’ve been through the depths of misery in these past two and a bit months, please remember that these are not your own thoughts but your brain. Always look towards tomorrow.

 

I’ve found that one person I’ve come across in Facebook who’s reported these eye problems has had them go away after two years. This seems like a long time, but once your brain fog has lifted along with other withdrawal symptoms; you should become used to your eyesight, I have even after this short time.

 

Does your vision seem to have static at all, and do you have light trails if you move say your phone quickly in front of your eyes in the dark? Do you have any head pressure or tinnitus at all?

 

I hope you’re doing okay, and sorry for the long winded message - I hope it helps you even in the slightest,

 

Icip.

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Icip
13 hours ago, Maui said:

Hi Icip,

Thanks for the welcome. I have to add my med history, so people can see.

But In 2007 I got off paxil horrible w/d.

I have been on citalopram now maybe 4 years. Low dose 10mg, but I know it hasnt been working, I'm not sure of the correct term "poop out". So I have been getting similar w/d symptoms as I had previously. I started weaning off citalopram 12/19. My vision seems to be odd in the dark, looking at my phone with white letters. Sort of double at times. But only with white letters. It's odd.  If I read stuff sometimes the sentence doesn't make sense and I look and read a word wrong. Ex. Man or mom or something. Some brain fog too. It's very scary, I obsess that I have something seriously wrong. Did you have anything like this?

Thank you

Hi,

 

Sorry didn’t read the bit where you stated that you’d been through withdrawal before :)) so you know what these symptoms are. As I said, from what I’ve seen we all experience it differently, such as I’ve succumbed to this after five days of Sertraline, for you four years and a ‘poop out’ (correct term heh) of Citalopram. Some withdrawal symptoms seem more common than others. Citalopram was nice, I tried it for three or so days at the start of last year; had no withdrawal/adverse reaction. Just didn’t like the way it/all antidepressants made me feel. I was stupid for trying them again. All I have is mild OCD hehe, but any relief at the time seemed too good to be true, so I took it.

Edited by Icip
Spelling + addition of wording/detail

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