PgadAdam Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 has anyone recovered from apathy after using antidepressants? 9 months ago i stopped taking setraline still feel completely apathetic and numb Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted December 16, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 16, 2019 28 minutes ago, PgadAdam said: has anyone recovered from apathy after using antidepressants? 9 months ago i stopped taking setraline still feel completely apathetic and numb Here are a few success stories. Success with Anhedonia? - Surviving Antidepressants Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
Nevertoolate Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Not completely yet but definately improving I'm at about the 15month mark being off 10MG Lexapro for 30 odd years. Hang in there! 1 Lexapro 10MG Almost continually for 25 odd years Reduced to 5MG beginning July 2018- end August 2018 August 2018 til now off completely Link to comment
PgadAdam Posted February 22, 2021 Author Share Posted February 22, 2021 i've had pssd for 2 years now and it only gets harder each year. what is there to even look forward to when you cant enjoy your life or even care about something? i may still have friends in this condition but just feels like im lying to them and pretending to care so that i can fit in or appear normal. i dont feel love or empathy because of PSSD, i kind of relate why people want to die this is such a nightmare to end up cold hearted, and im supposed to have self esteem and learn to love the new me? screw that having to accept that SSRI's made me into a sociopath and trying to believe that i'm still worthy of being loved is absurd. this is not who i am even if it makes me miserable i'll always reject this version of myself its not worth getting to know someone who's like this. Link to comment
AlanC Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 Adam, no. Please don’t go there. It’s not about trying to accept what’s happened to you, it’s about trying to find a way to maintain an acceptable social front. Giving up on that means you either drive your friends away or you shut yourself away from them. I did the first when the depression initially set in and I hadn’t leaned to maintain an acceptable social front, and I still tend to do the second when I’m feeling really bad. It leaves you without any contact with other people, nobody to talk to, with nothing to help distract you from the hell of the symptoms that we suffer, and that is far worse than the effort needed to keep up a decent appearance. And as much as it may make you feel like you're living a lie, keeping up that appearance is way better than the alternative. 1 1999 - 2001: Paroxetine 20mg, 2003: Venlafaxine 75mg, 2003 - 2014: Escitalopram 20mg 1999 - December 2017: Lansoprazole 15mg 2014 - December 2017: Citalopram 20mg December 2017: Mirtazapine 30mg, stopped after 4 days due to immediate bad reaction, Zopiclone 3.75mg, stopped after 2 days due to immediate bad reaction January 2018 - April 2018: Citalopram liquid, tapering, final dose 0.1mg December 2018 onwards: Vitamin C 1000mg October 2021: Loratadine 10mg for 6 days (23/10 to 28/10) Long term (for asthma): Salbutamol and Salmeterol inhalers, Salmeterol stopped March 2021 due to migraine headaches Occasional use for headaches: Paracetamol 40mg or Ibuprofen 40mg 4th December 2021: Eustachian tube infection: Amoxicillin 500mg 3 per day for 5 days, Dexamethasone & Neomycin ear spray 3 per day for 1 week, Beclometasone nasal spray 2 per day for 2 weeks. Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted February 23, 2021 Moderator Share Posted February 23, 2021 20 hours ago, PgadAdam said: i've had pssd for 2 years now and it only gets harder each year. what is there to even look forward to when you cant enjoy your life or even care about something? i may still have friends in this condition but just feels like im lying to them and pretending to care so that i can fit in or appear normal. i dont feel love or empathy because of PSSD, i kind of relate why people want to die this is such a nightmare to end up cold hearted, and im supposed to have self esteem and learn to love the new me? screw that having to accept that SSRI's made me into a sociopath and trying to believe that i'm still worthy of being loved is absurd. this is not who i am even if it makes me miserable i'll always reject this version of myself its not worth getting to know someone who's like this. Dear Adam, I am so so sorry you are going through this and for this long. I can't imagine how hard it must be. I went through about a year of feeling numb and dissociated from my surroundings - the only thing I could feel was a subtle disgust at everything and everyone. I didn't like people. I didn't understand them. I couldn't imagine why anyone would want to live in this, what seemed, miserable world. I couldn't imagine buying things or wearing nice clothes or liking vacations. It slowly got better when I stopped cutting. I don't know your history and 2 years feels like a lot of time but I choose to believe that you will get better as well. I too withdrew from everyone. I didn't share what was going with me with most of my friends - there was a mixture of shame and fear that they wouldn't understand. During this time I focused on literally putting one foot in front of the other - going for a walk when I could, spent afternoons in the local gym's hot tub because it provided some sort of relief (exercise would make things worse). Slowly things started feeling better. You're making lots of assumptions there - that you are not worth loving in this state. But would you think that a friend who had difficulty relating to people or didn't feel anything would not be worth loving? Yes, this awful experience makes it hard to empathize or understand the joys of others but there is no reason to believe it won't get better. You don't want this version of you but it is also this version that wants you to believe that it is forever and it is this version of you that makes you feel awful for feeling awful. Don't trust this version. You will shed it eventually. But in the meantime, try to carry on step by step, pretend where you have to for the moment. This is temporary despite it feeling like it is not. You will persevere. You can share your burden with us when it gets too much. Hang in there! 3 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
PgadAdam Posted February 23, 2021 Author Share Posted February 23, 2021 thanks guys i appreciate the continued support you've shown me 1 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted April 28, 2023 Administrator Share Posted April 28, 2023 Hello, @PgadAdam How are you doing? To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now