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Judith

Judith: Healing will happen!

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Judith

Hi @MaggieSmalls,

 

It’s very encouraging when you can at least recognize that some symptoms are leaving or lessening.  I know what you mean about sleep-  I could sleep for nine or 10 hours but woke up still feeling wired and tired and anxiety ridden. I did not have the hallucinations - that sounds very scary but I’m glad they are also diminishing.   

 

And I also know what you mean about people either not believing what you’re going through or just getting tired of hearing about it. Because it’s hard for ourselves to even believe that this can go on for so long.

 

But hang in there - you’re getting close my friend!  And I know the day will come when you too will be helping others.  And the trauma of going through it will fade just like it is for me.   

 

Blessings of Healing, strength, and comfort, 

Judith 🙏😇💕

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Elyssa143

@Judith

 I hope your doing well! Im approaching my 23rd month into this whole ordeal and although I still really struggle I am doing better overall. I feel like im healing. I still have symptoms daily and cycle up and down daily which is hard. This month has been my best month yet but Ive said that about every month since august. Although Septembers wave was absolutely horrific and they have been tough since then as well. But it seems to slowly painfully be getting better. Scary to say that. I do still have awful horrible intrusive looping thoughts which make life awfully hard and the awful feelings of wanting to die. But i know thats chemical because i definitely do not want to die. But my brain tells me i do and that i wont make it and itll get worse ill end up dying. Ita freaking awful. I fear now this is as good as it gets and now i have horrific ocd or something.  Was it like this for u this far out? I am very greatful for you coming back to help us all with your wonderful reasurment and kind words. I often wonder if we get to a place where we still have symptoms but we know were healing and it continues to get slowly better from there? I sure hope I continue to better im so scared of getting worse and not making it but even that has gotren a bit better too. I hope you enjoy Florida! Its a wonderful place! I look forward to being able to travel and enjoy it here soon! I am much more functional these days but mentally its still hard which leads the functionality to not really being quality of life. I just hope just because im more functional doesnt mean this is as good asnit gets for me. I honestly couldnt live the rest of my life like this so I pray its not. Looking forward to hearing back from you! Have a wonderful night

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Judith

Hi sweet @Elyssa143,

 

You have expressed your thoughts and feelings beautifully which is pretty impressive considering the jungle of  hope and fear and desperation and strength and courage and doubt this madness of withdrawing from these drugs is causing.  But it's also perfectly normal to feel all this.  Always remember it's just a manifestation of our brain and nervous system working hard to rebalance and heal.  And as we all know, unfortunately it's a very slow process for a lot of us.  

 

You are so correct when you say:  "I often wonder if we get to a place where we still have symptoms but we know we're healing and it continues to get slowly better from there? ".   YES AND YES!!   You are already experiencing that by saying it's slowly, painfully getting better.   It is truly hard to believe how slow the process is and that we somehow endure this every day.   But I am here to reassure you that that was my experience and you will TOTALLY HEAL ONCE AND FOR ALL!!    I also used to think, ok I feel a little better than I did the last few months, but is this all I can expect?  But slowly, slowly I just noticed the improvements were holding and not wavering.  And then I remember thinking that the trauma of going through it would be around for a while even after most of the symptoms were gone.  But that too improves every day.  And now I am living life again with so much gratitude and normalcy I am truly amazed.  

 

You will NOT live the rest of your life like this.   Pray that God take every thought captive to His holy light and love and healing.  And may His peace and healing and hope that passes all understanding now guard your heart, mind, and body - in Jesus name AMEN!!  

 

Stay strong my friend,   With many hugs and healing prayers,

 

Judith

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Snorky

Hi Judith

 

A very encouraging story. I too was on venlafaxine for about ten years (150 mg) before changing to amitriptyline in Oct 18. Then subsequently dropped that (CT) in Sept 19. In my case, I think my devastating symptoms are a combo of ven and amitriptyline discontinuation. In your list I saw tremors and zaps, but not the most terrifying symptom I get. This is awful, edgy, nervy sensations in both lower legs and head. It’s almost like a symptom of neurons, receptors constantly misfiring. 

 

Did you ever ever get this?

 

Thank you.

 

 

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Judith

Hi dear  @Snorky ,

 

Thank you for reaching out it’s nice to hear from you. I’m so sorry that you’re still having such disturbing symptoms my dear. I didn’t have the zaps quite like you’re describing. Mine were more of the first month or two of the brain type zaps. But as we know our nervous system’s are all unique and experience this withdrawl madness very differently. I hope this clears up for you soon.   
 

Hang in there and know that each day no matter how bad it seems that you’re one day closer to healing. I know it sounds like a broken record. I’ve been there. Never thought I would make it. But I did and you will too.  
 

Sending many blessings for strength and courage and hope and healing prayers & wishes to you 🙏😇😘

 

Hugs, 🤗

 

Judith 

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Snorky
19 minutes ago, Judith said:

Hi dear  @Snorky ,

 

Thank you for reaching out it’s nice to hear from you. I’m so sorry that you’re still having such disturbing symptoms my dear. I didn’t have the zaps quite like you’re describing. Mine were more of the first month or two of the brain type zaps. But as we know our nervous system’s are all unique and experience this withdrawl madness very differently. I hope this clears up for you soon.   
 

Hang in there and know that each day no matter how bad it seems that you’re one day closer to healing. I know it sounds like a broken record. I’ve been there. Never thought I would make it. But I did and you will too.  
 

Sending many blessings for strength and courage and hope and healing prayers & wishes to you 🙏😇😘

 

Hugs, 🤗

 

Judith 

Thank you again. My main fear is symptoms apparently deteriorating 4.5 months in, Continuous wave of greater magnitude etc. 

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Snorky
3 hours ago, Snorky said:

Thank you again. My main fear is symptoms apparently deteriorating 4.5 months in, Continuous wave of greater magnitude etc. 

Sorry J

 

Forgot to ask, I also get v severe head tremors did you get those coming off venlafaxine?

 

Thank you. 

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India

@Judith do you believe you were also healing during your taper or only once you reached zero? I am on 4.8mg it’s taken 2 years and many hells to get to here. I’ve been trying to visualise healing happening even during taper. 

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Rozon1

@Judith I’m just now two months into my withdrawls from effexor. Your story actually gives me a bit of hope. Right now I’m dealing with constipation, apathy, lack of sleep, major anxiety(like a knot in your stomach that keeps you from being able to do anything) and heart racing. It’s hard not to think of suicide although I don’t think I’ll ever do it unless it gets 10x worse but I want to know. How long was it that the symptoms became more manageable? 

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Judith

Hi @Snorky,

 

I don’t remember having head tremors per se. It was more of a feeling of zaps in my head and legs. - that was early after discontinuing the Effexor.   I know how scary it is to feel symptoms getting worse. But please remember it’s all part of the healing process.  It doesn’t feel like healing but it’s part of what your nervous system has to do to re-regulate itself.  
 

Hang in there my friend. Don’t ever forget how brave and courageous and strong we are to go through this hell to be drug-free.   so proud of you!  
 

Hugs and healing wishes🤗😘

Judith 

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Judith

Hello dear @India,

 

I tapered over a two month period, which I now know was probably way too fast. However, as you are experiencing sometimes it’s just going to be hell no matter how long you take to taper.  I didn’t feel many effects as I was tapering at all. In fact for a few weeks after discontinuing I felt great. I think that was my soul recognizing I was free of that drug. However, very soon after that is when all hell broke loose as my brain and nervous system started the excruciatingly slow process of trying to upregulate the receptors that had gone missing during the drug years.  

 

Yes I believe healing is happening even when you taper. Because it’s allowing your brain and nervous system to deal with the changes more slowly.  But that still doesn’t mean it’s easy!   So keep trying to visualize everything healing and know that they are just symptoms. And the real you is the observer. I know it’s like observing a train wreck but it will and does get better!  
 

Just take it one day at a time and know that there are many who have walked your path and have recovered and made it. It took me almost 5 years after discontinuing. And I’m not saying it’s going to take you that long at all because we’re all different. I’m just saying you have to allow the process to unfold the way it will & know that there’s going to be a happy ending.  
 

Hang in there my friend. Thank you for reaching out. Sending many healing hugs and wishes 🤗❤️😘

 

Judith
 

 

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Judith

Hello dear @India,

 

I tapered over a two month period, which I now know was probably way too fast. However, as you are experiencing sometimes it’s just going to be hell no matter how long you take to taper.  I didn’t feel many effects as I was tapering at all. In fact for a few weeks after discontinuing I felt great. I think that was my soul recognizing I was free of that drug. However, very soon after that is when all hell broke loose as my brain and nervous system started the excruciatingly slow process of trying to upregulate the receptors that had gone missing during the drug years.  

 

Yes I believe healing is happening even when you taper. Because it’s allowing your brain and nervous system to deal with the changes more slowly.  But that still doesn’t mean it’s easy!   So keep trying to visualize everything healing and know that they are just symptoms. And the real you is the observer. I know it’s like observing a train wreck but it will and does get better!  
 

Just take it one day at a time and know that there are many who have walked your path and have recovered and made it. It took me almost 5 years after discontinuing. And I’m not saying it’s going to take you that long at all because we’re all different. I’m just saying you have to allow the process to unfold the way it will & know that there’s going to be a happy ending.  
 

Hang in there my friend. Thank you for reaching out. Sending many healing hugs and wishes 🤗❤️😘

 

Judith
 

 

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Snorky
6 hours ago, Judith said:

Hi @Snorky,

 

I don’t remember having head tremors per se. It was more of a feeling of zaps in my head and legs. - that was early after discontinuing the Effexor.   I know how scary it is to feel symptoms getting worse. But please remember it’s all part of the healing process.  It doesn’t feel like healing but it’s part of what your nervous system has to do to re-regulate itself.  
 

Hang in there my friend. Don’t ever forget how brave and courageous and strong we are to go through this hell to be drug-free.   so proud of you!  
 

Hugs and healing wishes🤗😘

Judith 

Thanks Judith

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Judith

Hi @Rozon1

 

So sorry you are going through this.  But the only way out is through.  That becomes very obvious early on.  I remember thinking that I didn't really want to commit suicide, but just wish I could have been in a coma until it was all over!   That's when you realize it's a one moment,  one hour, one day at a time job, clinging to God and his mercy and grace.  Praying for strength and healing and comfort. That is what got me through.  And spend as much time in nature as possible.  

 

I wish I could tell you that symptoms were more manageable early on.  But it took many years for my brain and nervous system to re-regulate and normalize.  It wasn't until the last year or so that I could feel the crud diminishing to a lower percentage, until finally it was gone.  It was like one molecule at a time.  But that is MY experience and we are all different.  I am female, I am older, I was on the drug for a long time.   So please don't be discouraged.  You will heal and probably much faster than I did. 

 

Hang in there my friend. Don’t ever forget how brave and courageous and strong we are to go through this hell to be drug-free.   so proud of you!  You will make it.  And the feeing of being drug free and the lessons learning from suffering are your gift of coming out on the other side of hell.  You will then help others.  

 

Hugs and healing prayers and wishes, 🤗😘

Judith

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Rozon1

Hey @Judith did you have apathy and lack of emotion during your withdrawl? Sorry if you said it before. Also thank you so much for replying. I do wonder if I’ll recover in a speedy amount of time seeing as it’s been two and half months with little improvements

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Caryn

@Judith,

 

Are you having depression since you've been off Effexor? I'm going through horrible withdrawal that started as soon as I finished tapering off and I'm only five months living Effexor-free (REM Rebound and morning GI issues, and depression has set in about two months ago). As you stated in your December post, these symptoms are a living hell and I can't imagine suffering like this for years, although your eventual success is encouraging.

 

Caryn

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Snorky
13 hours ago, Caryn said:

@Judith,

 

Are you having depression since you've been off Effexor? I'm going through horrible withdrawal that started as soon as I finished tapering off and I'm only five months living Effexor-free (REM Rebound and morning GI issues, and depression has set in about two months ago). As you stated in your December post, these symptoms are a living hell and I can't imagine suffering like this for years, although your eventual success is encouraging.

 

Caryn

Hi C

 

Im sure J will reply, but just wanted you to know that I was longer term user of Effexor (>10 years). Went from that to amitriptyline end 2018 b4 CT off latter. I think I must be experiencing double whammy of Effexor and Amitriptyline CT. Now five months in and bombarded with mental tension/anguish that feels like a physical pressure, but also prevents communicating, reading, enjoying etc. Also coupled with horrible depressive/anhedonia type symptoms. No interest of motivation to do the very things that would otherwise help and be a distraction. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone.

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Judith

Hi @Caryn,

 

Sorry you are having a rough time - but unfortunately it's par for the course in recovery from psych drugs.  Yes if you will look at my earlier posts I not only had all those symptoms but a whole host of others that went on for years.  I'm not saying yours will, but we have to be prepared for anything.  We are all diffferent in our rate of healing.   The best thing we can try to do is accept it's just part of our nervous system and brain healing and as horrible as it is remember we are still under there somewhere.  Taught me to rely on God every moment, every hour, every day.   

 

For the most part our bodies heal very slowly, but they ARE healing.  Just times time and a lot of patience.   

 

Hang in there my friend,  sending lot's of love and strength and comfort and healing prayers,

 

Judith

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Raindays

Dear Snorky: Just noticed your questions to Judith about severe head tremors. I am in month 9 of coming off 15 or so years of Effexorxr.  I thought I was the only one experiencing this terribly distressing symptom!  My head is really tremoring especially when I lay down. It is driving me crazy. Can you tell me more about what it is like for you?

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