Judith: Healing will happen!

[Elyssa143]

@Judith 

Hey Judith how are you doing?! Well I hope . How’s the whole Covid situation up there? Have the seasons changed yet? I bet it’s beautiful up there. I’m coming up on 31 months here and getting super discouraged. 😩 the inner akasthia (internal restlessness) is horrific makes me feel like I need to crawl out of my skin and kill myself its absolutely awful, then I have still the suicidal intrusive thoughts and intrusive thoughts like about life being worth it , what’s the point in all this, is it ever going to get better, all of that. Then depression kicks in and I get pretty low and get scared about not making it. I have new puppies on the ground which is a much better experience than last year so I know healing is happening just extremely slow. I’m just really scared and discouraged that I’m this far out still with the akasthia and suicidal stuff  it’s exhausting to feel like I want to die frequently when I don’t. I am definitely more functional! Which is good but mentally I still really struggle, I have been working out too which has been a nice distraction. The kids are at home on line so that’s going well. Overall I try to be greatful that I am slowly improving and some symptoms are gone but the most distressing ones are still here and I get so scared 😭 I hope your well! My brain often tells me I’m damaged forever and I’ll just have to learn how to live like this and I fear I won’t be able to. Hugs to you look forward to hearing back! 

[Judith]

Hello! @Elyssa143, 

 

it’s so good to hear from you! You were on my list of people to check in with. Although it saddens me greatly to hear that you’re still struggling so much sweetie 😞.  What impresses me about you is how strong and loving and caring you can be in the midst of the hell you are also experiencing. You have a good understanding of being the observer of all your symptoms and trying to detach from them while living your beautiful normal grateful life. Which is key to getting through all this. 😇❤️ 

 

Because what we cling to - with the grace of God 🙏  is the knowing that this is temporary. And that with each day you are one day closer to complete healing. You know from talking to Baylissa and following her that she has counseled thousands of people who have been exactly where you are, and where I was,  and they recovered, just like I did. I was also in a very  protracted recovery. And things just slowly slowly started improving.

 

but I feel your pain and exhaustion and overwhelm and my heart and prayers goes out to you.   you are not damaged forever - even though our healing brain likes to tell us that. It’s still not working properly. But it will.   God only knows how we survive any of this. But we do. And I’m so proud of you and the way you are handling everything. Only the truly brave and strong can do this and you are among them. 💪🏻
 

Nice to hear you’re able to work out again! I know for me that was a turning point when I felt like I was getting a little more energy and could  start doing things like that again. 

 

glad you are holding up as best you can with all this Covid madness. My grandkids were also doing school at home, however they just opened the schools in their district again - they are thrilled to be back to school.   
 

did you say you also have puppies! How sweet that’s a fun distraction. 🐶 

 

We are still enjoying the last gasps of summer here. it’s been beautiful.   The leaves are just barely starting to turn.   I need to start making my plans to go to Florida in January February. Hope I can find somewhere to stay during this Covid madness.  I love Florida! 🌴🌸☀️🌈
 

I saved so many of the Baylissa’s messages because they helped me so much. Here’s one of them that I hope helps you too: 
 

You are stronger than you know. The fact that you are still holding on means that there is something deep within you - let's call it your human will and determination - that will see you through to recovery. If you are doubting your ability to cope, just remember how much you have already had to deal with. You may think you have no more strength to keep you going, but know that the strength always comes. No matter how intense things are or how weary or drained you may be feeling, trust that you will find ways to manage, to overcome, and to nurture yourself while you are healing.
 
Because of this innate courage and strength, you persevere. So many people tend to give up and go back on the drug or try new ones. It takes immeasurable strength and perseverance to get through withdrawal. You are doing it. You are heroic. No matter how scared you are, how uncertain, how vulnerable you feel, you always keep going.
 
This is what you must continue to do. Don't lose hope. Don't give up. No matter how long you have been holding on, the day will come when your healing will finally be completed. You must continue until this time arrives. Yes, one day, just when the timing is right for you, the symptoms will all abate, never to return. You will know that you are healed and you will be able to exhale and to put this experience behind you.
 
Remember, you are stronger than you realize. Keep going. You will make it. 

So many hugs and love and prayers go out to you sweetie. May you feel the comfort of your angels always nearby giving you strength and hope and courage.  😇🙏. Reach out anytime you need encouragement.

 

Judy 

 

Here’s a beautiful lake Erie sunset that we are privileged to see from our place.  😍

[whatshappening]

On 12/20/2019 at 6:11 AM, Judith said:

Greetings to all!  It took 5 years for my brain and nervous system to rebalance and heal after taking Effexor for 14 years.  Nasty stuff. One of the hardest to discontinue. But it is possible! I tried to d/c it a few times over those 14 years but had to keep going back on it because I couldn't function. I didn't understand enough about withdrawal and how all this works. But as we all know we reach a point where our souls know we do not need this drug and will do whatever it takes to get off it and stay off it. It's a ride through hell that's for sure but you can do it!!

 

As we all know, it's a lot worse at the beginning of withdrawal. I only had about 3 days of windows over the years. But I could feel symptoms slowly getting better over the last year till it starts being noticeable that the crud may still be there but it's more manageable. And the last 6 months it kept improving until I couldn't believe that the buzzing in my head was gone and the fear and anxiety were gone. The brain fog and fatigue also slowly start improving. There may always be a little residual fatigue and brain fog but I'm also 66 yrs old - ha!  

 

We have no idea how brave we are to go through this to live an authentic life drug free.  It finally happened this year around May.  And as you know it was many years of a nightmare I could not have imagined. But it will happen!! I am here as proof. I have my life back and am finally able to travel to see my family out of town and live a normal life again.  Acceptance, perseverance, surrender, humor, love - it's all part of living each day well.  Just continue to take care of yourself the best you can.  Walking in nature is SO HEALING. That is what saved me.  And taking every stress out that you possibly can. And lots and lots of prayer. My heart goes out to you - Hang in there - you will make it.  🙏😘

 

On 12/26/2019 at 9:07 AM, Judith said:

I tapered over a 2 month period.  Effexor comes in capsules with tiny pellets, so I would just reduce it slowly by breaking open the capsules and taking out some pellets.  As I have come to learn I probably should have taken a lot longer to taper.  But it also may not have made much difference.  😘

Hi Judith,

 

Congratulations for finally being off the Effexor Beast! You are so awesome.

 

You mentioned you probably should have done a longer taper but it may have not made much difference. I've been doing the whole 10% of current dose at 4-6 weeks and have been doing that method for the past 3 years. But I've had to endure many symptoms for 1 1/2 years of that even currently despite the slow taper system. I even up-dosed once only to find temporary relief for just 1 month before the symptoms came back again. So for me the whole updose and hold didn't really work. It was at that time I I came to the idea that it doesn't make a difference cause I'm facing all these symptoms already so what's the difference and I kept doing down my tapering schedule despite having symptoms.  Currently at 3 mg of Effexor which honestly has no therapeutic benefit at this point. Sleep is one of my bigger issues and symptoms. Did you just persevere through it or take any remedies for sleep?

[Judith]

Hi @whatshappening,

 

So nice to hear from you!  Thanks for your kind words.  You are also awesome for even trying to be drug free and enduring hell to get to the other side.   

 

So sorry that you are still going through the nightmare of recovering from these drugs.  Fast taper, slow taper, no one really knows how these drugs work or their effect on each individual's physiology, so it's anyone's guess.   My experience with sleep was one of wired and tired.  Went to bed exhausted, somehow slept, but didn't feel rested, and woke up exhausted and with a huge spike in cortisol which caused massive anxiety and GI issues, etc, etc.   I tried a few things such as phosphatidyl serine and various forms of magnesium.  They didn't do anything that I could detect at the time  But I do still take magnesium which, as you probably know, is calming to the nervous system.  Use chelated magnesium with lysine glycinate to avoid a laxative effect.   

 

From my experience supplements and other things that might help under 'normal' circumstances, either don't have an effect or may be exacerbated as your brain and nervous system are valiantly trying to restabilize after becoming dependent on a drug.  

 

I wish I had a better answer for you.   But am sending many prayers and blessings for your continued strength, courage, perseverance, hope, and faith that with enough time and patience, you WILL heal and get through this.   I know you can do it!!!  May you feel the comfort of your angels all around you. 😇🙏❤️😘

 

Judy

[whatshappening]

3 hours ago, Judith said:

Hi @whatshappening,

 

So nice to hear from you!  Thanks for your kind words.  You are also awesome for even trying to be drug free and enduring hell to get to the other side.   

 

So sorry that you are still going through the nightmare of recovering from these drugs.  Fast taper, slow taper, no one really knows how these drugs work or their effect on each individual's physiology, so it's anyone's guess.   My experience with sleep was one of wired and tired.  Went to bed exhausted, somehow slept, but didn't feel rested, and woke up exhausted and with a huge spike in cortisol which caused massive anxiety and GI issues, etc, etc.   I tried a few things such as phosphatidyl serine and various forms of magnesium.  They didn't do anything that I could detect at the time  But I do still take magnesium which, as you probably know, is calming to the nervous system.  Use chelated magnesium with lysine glycinate to avoid a laxative effect.   

 

From my experience supplements and other things that might help under 'normal' circumstances, either don't have an effect or may be exacerbated as your brain and nervous system are valiantly trying to restabilize after becoming dependent on a drug.  

 

I wish I had a better answer for you.   But am sending many prayers and blessings for your continued strength, courage, perseverance, hope, and faith that with enough time and patience, you WILL heal and get through this.   I know you can do it!!!  May you feel the comfort of your angels all around you. 😇🙏❤️😘

 

Judy

Awww thank you for the kind and encouraging words Judith. After 4 straight days of little to no sleep and trying various remedies and even contemplating updosing or different medications. I finally nodded off after 5am this morning with about 3-4 hours sleep. It's times like this that give me a confidence boost and makes me keep on persevering. I know only time will heal but it's really about me getting into a different mindset about sleep and not give the Insomnia beast any power (easier said than done)

 

I have my faith and I keep praying to the lord for strength. While we can't change our circumstances we can ask the lord to help change us and our mindset to be better able to handle challenges. This whole tapering journey I always ask the lord for epiphanies with thought changing statements to get through whatever current symptom I'm facing and he has always delivered them to me.

[Judith]

Hi @whatshappening, 

 

So glad to hear you at least got a little sleep!  It must just be horrendous to not sleep.   
 

i’m so impressed with your wonderful and faithful attitude through all this. I give all credit to the grace of God just as you are doing. One of the blessings of going through all the suffering is it makes you closer to God & remembering our true nature. You expressed it beautifully.   With God’s help to keep you strong, you WILL make it!!!!  🙏😇❤️😘

 

reach out for encouragement anytime.  

 

Hugs, 🤗

Judy

[Elyssa143]

@Judith hello Judith! How are you doing these days?  thinking about you checking in!

[Judith]

Hi @Elyssa143,

 

So good to hear from you my Florida friend!  I've been meaning to check in with you and see how you are doing.  I hope and pray you are feeling some improvements.

 

I've been good despite everything.  Didn't make it to Florida for a few months this winter but am going to Naples, FL the beginning of May for 9 days.  Can't wait!  Especially since we just had another small blast of winter the last few days here in CLE with some areas getting 6 inches of snow!  

 

I traveled more last year than I had in many years and was fine through everything.  Then in December while home and settled ended up getting covid somewhere around here - who know where - grocery store?   It was just a medium case of flu - no lung or breathing issues - and I weathered it and am fine. The thing that lingers the longest is the fatigue.  I give my intelligent body and immune system gratitude all the time for working so hard and handling things so well!  (even though there's always something I'm asking body to let me know what it needs to help with - aches, stiffness, digestion issues, fatigue, mysterious rashes, etc, etc, - haha!).  I'm also just getting old 😉

 

Are your kids back to in person school?  How are the puppies?  And most of all I'm eager to hear how you are doing!

 

Thanks for staying in touch.  Sending many prayers and blessings for healing and comfort and strength and hope.  😇🙏❤️

 

Hugs,

Judy

[Elyssa143]

@Judith 

thanks so much for replying! I’m glad to hear your so well and glad to hear covid didn’t bring you down too much! I’m coming up on 38 months! It’s insane to think about it. I do still struggle but I’m having much easier times and symptoms don’t seem to be as horribly intense. But as soon as they start up again it’s awful. The si, feeling of wanting to die/kill myself, inner restlessness in my stomach/chest area. I get scared the up and down back and forth this is permanent and this is just the extent of my healing 😔 but I’m able to do a lot more self talk. Life seems to be a bit more “normal” I’m definitely doing more but I still struggle inside. It’s still scary but not at all like it once was. Things seem to be ever so slowly progressing forward. Very traumatized and discouraged I just wish the suicidal stuff was gone but hopefully one day soon! I look forward to hearing back from you! Hope you have a great time in Florida! Yes my kids are back in school! And yes I have puppies now  

[Judith]

@Elyssa143,

 

Glad to hear there are some improvements.  But sorry to hear that there are still scary symptoms.  It is traumatizing.  I admire your bravery and your ability to be the observer - knowing it's part of the journey of healing, as awful as it is.  And that this WILL pass.  That's what I'm here to remind you of - that I was also taking years to heal and it was very slow, but eventually your nervous system gradually normalizes and the symptoms lessen and then disappear.  Even the trauma of it all eventually fades.  

 

So proud of you for hanging in there.  And for being such a bright spirit despite everything you are going through - that's very special.  Just keep living as normally as you can.  Always with God's help and grace.  And lots of help from our angels! 😇❤️🙏

 

Stay in touch my dear,

Many blessings & hugs.......

 

 

[Elyssa143]

hi my friend! How are you doing? I’m 43 months into this and  41 completely pharma free! What an accomplishment! I am better overall of course but still no where near 100%. I still struggle but more functional nothing like the first 3 years. This has been my best year yet but had tons of tough life things happen which are minimal comparatively speaking as I’m sure you can relate. I still struggle with the dreaded si, depression and inner aka in my chest. And back to my normal anxiety/panic but again nothing like it was it’s just so frustrating because then my brain goes to the dark place. But it’s not coping like I was 24/7 at all. It’s just still hard si stuff and aka will never ever be easy for me. But I try to be greatful for the improvements. Working on some other health issues as well that are underlying. Looking forward to hearing back from you! Hugs to you!

[Judith]

Hi @Elyssa143,

 

So good to hear from you my friend! Thank you for the update. I am so proud of your accomplishments!  Even though you are still having some tough symptoms. It’s very frustrating.  I so admire the way that you continue to do your best to be grateful & acknowledge improvements and try and stay positive.  That’s certainly not easy - as we know this is an extremely challenging situation.  
 

Also sending hope and prayers that the underlying health issues get resolved. It’s certainly a lot to deal with.  🙏❤️
 

I have been good. Went to visit my youngest son and family in Saint George Utah a few weeks ago. What a beautiful area had a great time. ❤️
 

Going to Florida for a week beginning of December. Can’t wait for that. Wish I could stay the winter! 
 

You are a special, bright spirit. Hang on to hope and know that God & your angels and guides are always with you.   Let me know how you are doing.  

 

Sending love & hugs & prayers 🙏😇🤗🙏❤️😘

Judy

 

I saved this message from Baylissa from Bloom in Wellness: 💝

 

You are stronger than you think. We know that withdrawal is complex and cruel, but you must believe that you can make it through to the end. As challenging as it is, it won’t break you.  Nothing is going to happen that is life threatening. Once you are emotionally safe, you will get to the finishing line. Just like you have managed in the past, the strength that brought you this far will take you the rest of the way. Don’t underestimate your resilience and the potential of the human body to heal. Whether you are still tapering, you have come off the drug and are in withdrawal, or you have been suffering for longer than anticipated, you will heal. You are going to be okay. You won’t break. Remember those before you who were once where you are now. They made it to the other side and you will too. One day the symptoms will disappear, never to return, and you will be able to celebrate your recovery. The storm clouds will drift away and the sun will shine down on you again. Be patient and keep going. Always remember that, this is healing in action. This is passing. This, too, shall pass. It is inevitable.

 

[arielS]

@Judith

Hello Judith... Iam an adverse reaction from 3 pills... Any way?  Are you really good now?  Did you really recover?  And went back to your old personality and your old thinking and emotions?  Iam 7 months off now but I feel. Like iam forgetting my. Memory more and more and the dp is hitting more and more... Do people really heal literally?? 

[Judith]

Hi @arielS,

 

so nice to hear from you! I’m sorry you are having a tough time.  This is not an easy process.   But you will make it!  And YES you will heal.  Healing requires time, patience, courage, strength, and the grace of God.  As awful as the symptoms of the healing process are, it’s important to try to look at them as ‘normal’ under the circumstances.   It’s different and unique for all of us.  
 

But I am here to reassure you that however long it takes & however awful it feels, you WILL heal!  I learned a lot about myself in the process and letting go and giving it to God in every moment.   
 

Hang in there my friend. You are the bravest of the brave and will make it.  With every day that passes you are one day closer to healing. 

 

Sending many prayers and healing wishes for comfort, strength, and grace 🙏😇❤️😘

Judith

[arielS]

@Judith

Judith... This means too much for me.. Really thanks.. You mean that I must ignore my weird feelings and my weird thoughts and knows "this is not me" , I just cannot remember who was iam,  but I will reach and go back to me again.. In one day.. Soory for my bad english

[Judith]

@arielS

yes you are correct - this is not you!  It’s just the re-regulating & balancing of your nervous system.   But it’s also very scary & challenging to feel so disconnected from your true self.  Remember your true brave spirit is there helping you through this.  You will feel like yourself again.  This experience teaches us a lot about hope & faith & trust. 
 

your English is good!   I admire your ability to know 2 languages. 👏🏻
 

many hugs & prayers to you 🤗🙏😇❤️😘

[gentlehermione]

On 12/26/2019 at 8:07 PM, Judith said:

 So know you are not alone.  And things will get better.  It's one day at a time.  Trust your body that is inherently intelligent and knows what to do to heal.  Our job is to hang on to hope and believe it. 

 

@Judith I'm 50 months out (CT for medical reasons) and still struggling but your story has given me much hope that I, too, will soon heal. Thank you for returning to the forum with these uplifting words of encouragement 🥰

 

Hope you are well and enjoying life!

[Judith]

Hi @gentlehermione,

 

So nice to hear from you!  Thank you for your kind words.   (love the word gentle with your name - so heart warming 😊)

 

I’m sorry you are still experiencing the unpleasant symptoms of nervous system healing.  As the brave soul you are, you have made it this far, which only means that you are ever SO CLOSE TO HEALING!   It was after my 4th year that things gradually started to improve.  And it looks like you are doing everything you can to allow that to happen by being brave, being in nature, eating well, & trusting.   Patience is key & living as normally as possible despite symptoms.  Loving yourself through it knowing THIS TOO SHALL PASS.   And we are never alone & always surrounded by God & angels.  😇🙏❤️

I’m amazed by how I continue to heal in many ways physically & emotionally even after the majority of symptoms subsided.  It’s a lifetime journey & process.  There are always new levels of understanding of ourselves & God’s world & love. These experiences only make us stronger & allow us to help others because of it.  You will be there very soon my friend!   Reach out any time you need encouragement.  
 

Sending healing hugs & prayers,🤗🙏😘

Judith 

[gentlehermione]

On 1/28/2022 at 5:59 PM, Judith said:

  (love the word gentle with your name - so heart warming 😊)

 

Hi @Judith

 

Over the past four years plus, I have learned that colossal amounts of patience and acceptance are required to reach the end of this gruelling journey. Thank you for your encouragement and support.

 

Actually Gentle Hermione is the name of one of the roses in my garden -  a vigorous, hardy English rose shrub which flowers repeatedly throughout the season. I hope I am as strong and resilient as she is!

 

Wishing you well 🥰

[Judith]

Hi @gentlehermione,

 

Beautifully said about the colossal amounts of patience & acceptance.  One of the biggest gift this provides us is that if we can get through and survive this grueling journey,  anything we face the rest of our lives seems easy in comparison. 
 

And thank you for telling me about your beautiful roses.   You are definitely as strong and as resilient as she is - which is  why you resonate with her and with nature. We also have a garden-  I will have to look for that variety of rose.   
 

Sending healing prayers & hugs,

🙏🤗❤️😘

Judith

[Longroadhome]

Hi @Judith

Thank you for  remaining on this site to help us. You are so kind. 
You said you have continued to heal. Can you explain please? 
Did the blurred vision heal and did you suffer with dry eyes ?
 

[Judith]

Hi @Longroadhome, 

 

Nice to hear from you & thank you for your kind words!  😊.  How have you been doing? 

 

As far as continued healing, I believe our life’s journey is about remembering the beauty of our own being and that we are so loved & held always in the hands of God. 😇💞

As we come to accept this, and work on understanding & surrendering the layers of false beliefs & emotions that manifest as physical symptoms, this then allows healing to occur on the physical & emotional level.  
It’s a process.  
 

This quote is from David  Hawkins M.D. Ph.D., book Healing and Recovery - 

“The body is a reflection of that which we believe, so if we address ourselves directly to those belief systems, to the mind itself, and to where it is being experienced,
we can undo belief systems. We have that freedom and option.” 

 

Of course it helps to get far enough along in recovery from survival mode and from the trauma of withdrawal to work on the next level of healing that is our life’s work.  

i have noticed some chronic aches & pains slowly improving.  My eyes are not as dry. The blurred vision is improving as well.   These were there before withdrawal as well - old layers of beliefs that are being released!  
 

Stay strong in faith and hope 🙏😇❤️ 
 Sending healing prayers & hugs, 🤗

Judith

 

[PsychologicalSafe15]

@arielS do you still have vivid dreams?

[Elyssa143]

@Judith hi! I hope your well! Just checking in! I’m 48 months now, I’ll be 4 years completely pharma free in June! I had a major setback from covid and other life stresses including getting an infected tooth pulled. But I’ve seemed to improve some since then. Now I have my period and I’m back to awful symptoms really hoping this is hormonal and it will subside. Overall from the beginning much better but I still struggle with my worst symptoms and don’t live a “normal” life Withdrawl is still very front and center. Although I do have days I’m much more functional. I still don’t have good feelings if I do it’s very short lived and random. The intrusive si seems to definitely be better, I now have pretty tough depression and still have some inner aka, more so the dread and uncomfortable feeling in my chest and some si due to life feeling not worth it because it is still such a struggle. Very chemical too. Really praying this isn’t my normal now. As I often fear this is my life now. Looking forward to hearing back! 

[Judith]

@Elyssa143

Hi my friend!  So nice to hear from you 😊

So proud of your accomplishment of making it this far, almost 4 years!  After four years is when I started feeling the most improvement the next year.  I know you will too.  The best is yet to come! 
 

However I certainly know and can sympathize with everything else going on in life that can feel like it’s setting us back.  It’s challenging enough to make it through recovery let alone deal with Covid and tooth infections, & periods - Ugh 😣.  (Ha at least I’m past the point of dealing with periods ☺️).
 That’s interesting because I had to have a tooth pulled a few months ago as well. -  it was very intense and set off my nervous system for a while, but am better now.  I also had Covid about a year and a half ago and that certainly took time to recover from even though it was generally mild.   

 

i’m glad you’re feeling improvements. And also sorry to hear about the struggles. It is scary to feel that way for so long. I know I asked myself time and time again, will this ever end? But it does. However long it takes it will.  Keep reminding yourself it is chemical and everything is balancing and will just take a little more time.  
 

So important to remind ourselves constantly what brave souls we are to do this- to live a drug-free and authentic life. All these symptoms that are so challenging are also there to remind us of our reliance on God to get us through and his strength. And that we’re never alone and our angels are always with us.  🙏❤️😇🙏

 

 Please reach out to me anytime you would like some encouragement sweetie. You remain in my thoughts and prayers for healing and comfort and strength and guidance. 
sending lots of love and hugs 🤗 ❤️😘

Judy 

[lvdpouw]

Hello Judith, I hope you are still helping others with your healing experience.

(I hope my English is good enough for you to understand what I mean ☺️)

I'am Lida, a new member from the Netherlands. I read your story several times and we had a lot of similarities. I'm 64 years and took 27 years antidepressants. I will give you a short history over many years. In 1995 I have been started with Seroxat/Paroxetine, in 1989 we have lost our baby daughter Marleen 3 months after her birth. This was horrible and 4 years later the doctor advised me to take antidepressant. I still had 2 little boys to look after and most go on. 

It helps me a lot to "survive", but after taking many years these drugs, I had more side effects than I wanted. So I took the decisioning in 2018 I will stop with the medicine, although my doctor was not pleased with it.

In 2018 I succeed after a long time, I was taking of.  But it was not feeling oke, I had a lot of awful body symptoms, in 2019 I started again with an other medicine, I have approved 5 sorts of new anti-depressants and none of them helps, but my new doctor said that my body did not tolerate it any more. In september 2021 I have made the decision again, that I will stop with all these medicines.  

I recognize all your symptoms, I am now 10 months without medicine, but every day I still feels several bad symptom's. 

 

My doctor and Psychologist are saying that this cannot be the efforts of stopping with AD, they said this cannot be so long after taking these drugs,  Withdrawals can't take so long, it makes me nervous and still have doubts what am I doing wrong that it takes so long to recover.

So I am pleased to read all your comments that it will be a possibility that it can take so long, I realized that I took the drugs for 27 years, it takes a long time to recover from all the symptoms, I also have problems with mouth- and throat, did anyone recognize this by other members. Am I being or given it too many attention, so it takes longer to heal.

I am curious at your reaction, it all will helps me to, thank you.

Greeting from the Netherlands, Lida 

   

[Judith]

Groetjes Lida ! @lvdpouw

 

So nice to hear from you!   Your English is wonderful - I have a great admiration for anyone who knows a second language.  
 

Thank you for sharing your history and pain. My heart goes out to you. All of us on this website who have used these drugs understand that sometimes they seem like the only hope to get through. And now we also know that they start to change our brain in ways that make it extremely difficult to discontinue them, especially after such a long period of time.    
 

You are very brave and strong to discontinue these drugs and face the challenges they will present as our nervous system and bodies slowly return back to balance, with symptoms that can make us feel terrified.   Along with lots of prayer, reading & knowing more about what’s happening in our bodies with the symptoms and trying to continually look at them as just part of the healing process helped a lot.   It takes as long as it takes and sometimes it can take years.  But you WILL feel better!! 

 

Your doctor & psychologist sound like they are not keeping up with the information out there about these drugs. I highly recommend looking into books by Dr. Peter Breggin - 

 

Peter R. Breggin, MD, is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist and former full-time consultant at NIMH. He is in private practice in Ithaca, New York, and is the author of dozens of scientific articles and more than twenty books. Some of his many books include Toxic Psychiatry, Talking Back to Ritalin, The Antidepressant Fact Book, and The Heart of Being Helpful: Empathy and the Creation of a Healing Presence, and, with co-author Ginger Breggin, Talking Back to Prozac. His most recent publications include Medication Madness: The Role of Psychiatric Drugs in Cases of Violence, Suicide, and Crime (2008) and Brain-Disabling Treatments in Psychiatry: Drugs, Electroshock and the Psychopharmaceutical Complex, Second Edition (SPC, 2008). His two newest psychiatric books are Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal: A Guide for Prescribers, Therapists, Patients and their Families (SPC, 2013) and Guilt, Shame, and Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming Negative Emotions (Prometheus, 2014). Dr. Breggin is the founder and director of The Center for the Study of Empathic Therapy, Education and Living (www.EmpathicTherapy.org) His professional website is www.breggin.com.

 

Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal: A Guide for Prescribers, Therapists, Patients and their Families 

1st Edition 

ISBN-13: 978-0826108432,  ISBN-10: 0826108431

4.4 out of 5 stars(172)Reviews

 

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   ""This is such an important book. Describing the problem of withdrawal from psychiatric drugs in detail, and providing clear advice regarding how to deal with this problem as Peter has done so well in this book, is long overdue. For decades, the belief system that is mainstream psychiatry has denied the existence of withdrawal problems from the substances they prescribe so widely. In reality, withdrawal problems with psychiatric drugs is a common occurrence. Because of psychiatry's reckless denial of this real and common problem, millions of people worldwide have not had the support and care they desperately need when attempting to come off psychiatric drugs, often been erroneously advised that these problems are confirmation of the existence of their supposed original so-called 'psychiatric illness.' Dr. Breggin's book is therefore both timely and necessary."" Terry Lynch, MD
   Physician and Psychotherapist
   Author of "Beyond Prozac: Healing Mental Suffering Without Drugs and Selfhood: A Key to the Recovering of
   Emotional Well Being," "Mental Health and the Prevention of Mental Health Problems 

   
   
   So please know that none of this is your fault!  It’s not that you’re not trying hard enough or you’re paying too much attention to it. It’s real, it’s there, it’s what your body needs to do to heal and it’s extremely unpleasant.  But it is survivable. If there is anything this experience is teaching us it’s more trust in God and patience.  And trusting that our beautiful resilient bodies can rebalance and heal.   
   
   I also highly recommend the books by Baylissa Frederick.  This one was key when I first started going through the experience. I was a member of her community of those going through withdrawal and it really helped a lot. She is an amazing wonderful mental health counselor and feels like a friend to everybody because she’s been through it herself.  

   Baylissa Frederick

   Recovery and Renewal: Your essential guide to overcoming dependency and withdrawal from sleeping pills, other benzodiazepine tranquillisers and antidepressants

    

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      (sorry that the text is so large I’m not sure how to shrink it down. And it is now centering the lines & not sure how to change that either!) 

       

      I send lots of love and prayers to you my friend.  If you have any more questions or just want to stay in touch please do, I’m here!  😊
       

      With many healing wishes & blessings, Judy 🙏🤗❤️😘

[Elyssa143]

Hi @Judith

 

How are you my friend? Well Im hoping. Im checking in! Im currently 54 months into withdrawal and 51 months Completely pharma free. Covid last year Completely threw me back and its taken a serious toll on me and still affects me. I am overall alot better of course and no where where I was and I do try to be greatful for that. I am extremely traumatized. I do still have some si, anxiety, depression, dread, inner restlessness and some intrusive thoughts. But again this is not all day everyday anymore. I do function better, I am able to manage getting through the day better, i do more real life things but it isnt normal. It is still a struggle and Im stuck between this being better and still being stuck and damaged like this. It is very hard when symptoms come back up, but I am healing. I have hope that next year will be better, but my negative brain says im stuck like this and ill never be normal and everyday will still be consumed with withdrawal. I do hope to hear back from you and im praying one day soon this update is a forever healed update. Love and light!

[Judith]

Hello @Elyssa143!  
 

It’s so nice to hear from you my friend! Glad to hear you are noticing improvements. Also sorry that there are still struggles. And then to get hit by Covid - ugh.  I continue to be amazed & impressed by your strength and bravery.  
 

It was after my fourth year into withdrawal that I started noticing slow but more improvements. So keep reassuring yourself that you will continue to improve even though we wished it would have happened yesterday.  
 

You are so right by saying this whole thing is very traumatizing.  There is still sensitivity in my nervous system that’s easily triggered by everyday life - the happy & the sad!   and I know it is because of post traumatic stress syndrome and some symptoms can flare up.   

 

There has been much research done on post traumatic stress and best tools to use. I discovered this woman Belleruth Naparstek years ago who is a nationally recognized pioneer in guided imagery to help many conditions but especially PTSS.   I just got the one for post traumatic stress from her website and started listening to it. ( I used to get them on iTunes but for some reason they’ve been taken down from there)  so you have to purchase an MP3 version from her website which is called health journeys.  
 

https://www.healthjourneys.com/

 

research has shown that it can help rewire the traumatized brain & nervous system the more we listen to it. Check out some of her videos on YouTube as well under health journeys where she talks about trauma - there’s a short seven episode interview with her.  She actually worked and did a lot of her research and help with patients in the Cleveland area for many years!  (where I live). 
 

even if we feel like our brain and nervous system is not willing to hear or incorporate the imagery, it’s still working on our subconscious and rewiring things.  There are also affirmations that are very helpful. When you listen to the introduction she says that there is a reason for every word & image the way it is because research has  proven it to be helpful in a large percentage of people who have used it who have gone through trauma whether it’s returning war veterans or any other trauma in our lives.  
 

another therapeutic modality that has been shown to be very effective in treating trauma is EMDR. - using eye movements to help release the stored trauma in the brain & reprogram it.  Can read more about it here & find therapist. I haven’t done it yet but I’m considering it.    

https://www.emdr.com/

 

Again it’s so nice to hear from you -  you remain in my thoughts and prayers my dear. reach out anytime 🙏😇 .  I am so proud of you! 

 

sending you many hugs and lots of love.  🤗💞🤗💞😘😘

 

Judith 

[Elyssa143]

@Judith

Merry late Christmas and Happy New Year. I do hope your doing amazing. 

This was my 5th Christmas in withdrawal this time but i have spent 3 previous ones as well. So 8 all together. I wish I was writing with better news. Yesterday was awful for me. Ever since covid the first time last august 2021. Ive struggled. Yes overall better but the depression has been a steady decline. I spoke with Baylissa about 2 weeks ago and she was shocked i was still struggling with the really bad stuff. And that was discouraging for me. Its not the hell it once was but it is still concerning and scary for me. I do function better but im not sure if thats because Ive learned to just push through? Im sure thats some of it. Ive gained 35lbs with tons of other symptoms so she suggested getting my thyroid checked as its seemed to always be an issue for me so I started Natural thyroid meds, she also prescribed bioidentical progesterone. Which im supposed to start this week. I know my diet has not been great at all. Apparently the peanuts ive been eating have msg in them. And then gluten is an issue for me as well. Im holding on to hope that adjustinf my diet back to clean will really help with these things as I know even not med injured people are affected by these things. I feel so sad and discouraged lately as its been so long and im still dealing with the really scary stuff. I also have bad anhedonia. Were leaving Wednesday for north carolina, first vacation in 10 years and im nervous as i really wish mentally i felt better. I get so scared this is permanent for me. As i see so many people heal and move on and yet here i am still with the really awful stuff. I do know i have improved but its been extremely slow and im no where near where id like to be. I truly look forward to hearing back from you and hope your doing well. Hugs ❤️

[Judith]

Hi @Elyssa143 honey,

 

It's so nice to hear from you and thank you for the good wishes, as I also wish you and your family many miracles and blessings of good health and peace & prosperity in the new year!   

 

I'm so sorry that you are still experiencing so many symptoms.  But glad to you spoke to Baylissa!  Sounds like good advice - see how the thyroid med does along with the progesterone.  And I also agree with you that our nutrition is very important and I know you will to do your best to change it to hopefully make a difference.  It takes some experimenting over the years - I've been everything from a vegetarian when I was younger to now eating a more animal based whole food diet which is very nutrient dense, bioavailable, and easy to digest.  I had to give up many things I really liked, (but they didn't seem to like me anymore!) and I have noticed that I have more energy and my gut is calmer.  But everyone is different and that is just what seems to work for me - at least right now    

 

Covid sure didn't help things did it    That may be part of it as well.  My niece in Oregon had long covid and ended up finding a neurologist out there that helped her and she eventually felt better but it took some months.   That will also get better with time too sweetie - but sure doesn't seem fair does it.

 

I understand that going on a vacation, as nice as it sounds, is a stressor that sets off our healing nervous system.  I wondered how I made it to Florida a few times while going through the healing process.  But I figured I would feel crappy sitting at home anyway, so just go and do your best.   It is amazing that sometimes a change of scene will help a little. I still get into old patterns of feeling afraid before going to do something whether local or flying somewhere, (which go way back before drug withdrawal) which sets off my nervous system to shakey mode.  I'm learning to try to accept it and befriend my scared self and say it's ok - we will do this together - always with my angels and God's strength and courage!  And it helps.  

 

I wish I had a magic wand to take away all this from you.  I know how scary it is to think this will never end - but nothing stays the same forever.  You will feel better.   You are an incredibly brave, courageous, loving, caring, kind, soul - it comes through in your honesty about how you feel, yet always showing compassion for yourself and others.   I admire you so much.  I continue to pray for you and ask God to give you strength and courage and hope and healing in this most difficult journey.  YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!  Stay in touch my friend. 

 

Much love and many hugs, 

Judy

 

 

[Elyssa143]

Hi @Judith

 

How are you doing? Well I sure hope! I am officially 5 years into this **** show 🤣. I do believe covid definitely made things worse for me and my nervous system but things maybe settling down now. I dont know anymore honestly. I get through the days, my business is doing great, weve been showing our dogs AKC which has been a dream of mine since I was 13. I did handle my boy a few times but my nervous system has a mind of its own and my anxiety kicks in even when im not anxious. So my fiance has been handling that so my nervous system doesnt get anymore jolted than necessary. Thats a little hard with two teenage boys now 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 lol. That in itself is rough, whew! I feel like im playing alot of catch up from being in survival mode for so long so thats tough. Still trying to navigate. I dont live a normal life still and my depression has been really rough since covid. Im hoping maybe the inflammation starts dying down here soon. I do still have si, inner aka and the dread/depression which still really really sucks. But it is not like it was at all. But still extremely hard for me. Im trying to help my hormones naturally as i tried progesterone cream and it made my resting heartrate in the 120's. Anywho i dont necessarily feel good about using synthetic hormones but thats my own thought. I thought forsure by now I wouldn't be dealing with the depression or Si anymore and its very very discouraging as my life is "great". But internally and mentally i still struggle and do not have control over it which makes it even more frustrating! I did start EMDR for ptsd as my ptsd and past trauma and this trauma are awful. So hoping that helps with my nervous system. Anyway, just checking in. Looking for a bit of encouragement and sure hope your still doing so great! Hugs to you! Love and light my friend ❤️

[Judith]

Hello my friend @Elyssa143! 
 

so nice to hear from you! I can see your light shine brighter in your sense of humor, even though I know you’re still dealing with symptoms. But that’s very encouraging. I like hearing about your life and what you’re doing. Sounds fun with the dogs. And even the teenagers. lol 😝 

 

it is a slow process, but glad you’re noticing improvement. I can still get into old patterns of feeling anxious when there’s nothing to feel anxious about! , as you said. A lot of that is just past programming in our brain and nervous system, and then also just from the trauma of going through all this. So glad you’re trying EMDR. I did too, and it did help.  
 

What God has been guiding me to lately is to just let our symptoms &  feelings & worries & fears be what they are without trying to change or control them and focus on living the best life we can in this day.  And knowing that happy and blessed is still present as well amongst everything else.  It’s all of our fears and worries about every day life let alone these difficult symptoms that keep us focused on always future and getting better. And I know you already do this because you have many fun activities and things and blessings in your life. But our primitive brains are always on the lookout for danger and something we think we need to fix.  The less attention we give them the more they will start to fade.  
 

I am very inspired by spiritual teacher Matt Kahn who has a many YouTube videos and several books. I’m currently reading his book called. Everything is Here to Help You - finding the gift in life’s greatest challenges.  A quote from the book, says,

 “I accept that everything is here to help me, no matter how inconvenient, painful, confusing, or frustrating it seems to be. I allow the worst things that have ever happened to me to be embraced as the greatest opportunities I’ve been given to grow and evolve”.   From our souls perspective, every challenge in life is a spiritual set up & why we came here to learn, and grow and evolve here on earth school.   Always with God’s grace and strength and love, and our guardian angels help with us, in us, and beside us every moment. 😇💗😇
 

Whew!  seems like a lot sometimes doesn’t it? But look how we have all learned and grown and evolved.  Even after our symptoms lesson our lives will still bring us feelings of love and fear and joy and sorrow and that is what makes us whole and complete.  I’m still working on accepting all that.  Love the serenity prayer that asks to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.  🙏💗🙏

 

I just spent two weeks on a dog sitting gig in Florida for some friends and it was paradise!  . A huge gift from God. Also had some major anxiety and I have no idea why other than old patterns and habits. It was all amazing. I’m now back in cold Ohio. 😊

 

I always enjoy hearing from you my friend. Stay in touch - my love and hugs and prayers are with you. I’m so proud of you Braveheart!  🙌🏻👏🏻💪🏻 💝🙏😇😘😘

 

Blessings,

Judy

[Elyssa143]

@Judith 

 

Hi sweet friend how are you doing?

[Judith]

@Elyssa143

 

Hi there my brave and wonderful friend! 😍Nice to hear from you. I am doing pretty well all things considered. Been back to Florida again in May this time with my husband & daughter and grandkids. Had a wonderful magical time.   First time grandkids have been to Florida and they loved it just like I do. The warmth, the sun, the beauty, swimming in the pool &  swimming in the gulf with the fish.  Heaven! 🤩

 

Also had a weekend at Chautauqua Lake New York another one of my favorite places.  And now enjoying summer activities like gardening and biking. 
 

My dad who is almost 96 got Covid about six weeks ago and was in the hospital and is now in rehab and is doing pretty well.   Spending a lot of time with him these days.
 

Anxieties and low energies can come and go but feel things are balancing out more and more. Practicing feeling and staying connected and safe and held in the arms of God and my angels all the time. 😇🙏💕

That’s one of the biggest things I feel happens after going through what we have experienced is feeling safe in our bodies and integrated in mind, body and spirit.  And reminding all my energies and cells in my body and my inner child that it’s OK to be happy.😊❤️
 

Please let me know how you are doing sweetie!  Hope things are going a little better.  
 

Sending lots of love and many hugs and prayers for comfort and strength and blessings! 🙏😇😘😘 you are a brave heart and I’m so proud of you!! 

 

Judy

[Peter23]

Thank you so much Judith for posting your experience of coming off Effexor. You have shown great courage and perseverance and that it is possible to recover over a prolonged period of time. My journey on psych meds started with Effexor and like you I tried many times to come off it. Unfortunately my psychiatrist cross tapered me to Sertraline and then onto Mirtazapine so that I ended up on both antidepressants. I managed to taper off the Mirtazapine first and then Sertraline. I have been off both of them since 2021. Today I have felt better than I have for a long time. Hopefully this might be the beginning of my recovery although I still have some way to go to be completely free from psychotropic medication. You have given me hope for which I thank you from the bottom of my heart. With best wishes Peter