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Rhiannon

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Rhiannon

 

 
"you have to take your antibiotics for ten days or the bugs will develop resistance"

Wait, so that's not true? I'm taking a public health class and that was mentioned in the chapter on infectious diseases. The reasoning is that if you don't take a full course of your antibiotics, the bacteria left will be the ones that were most resistant to the drug, they will then propagate, and potentially these "superbugs" will be passed on to others. It's survival of the fittest and all that. I know you work in a lab so are obviously WAY more knowledgeable about it than I am lol.

 

I'm sorry you had to go through all that with the pharmacy and your doctor. Before I found someone who would regularly prescribe me Paxil, I felt like an addict desperately searching for someone to write me a prescription. I once even had a nurse practioner "cut me off" because I made the mistake of being truthful to her about my slow taper and after a few months she said I was taking too long, it was all in mind, and I could cold turkey off 12mg of Paxil and be fine. I was left to scramble to find another doctor to write me a prescription. So now, I just lie and say "Yes, the Paxil is working great, I love it!"  I imagine it would be A LOT harder if Paxil was a controlled substance.

 

 

Um, so, well, totally off topic, but: The thing that causes antibiotic resistance is the use of antibiotics. You create a selective pressure and the genes that can resist that pressure are selected for.

 

I have found no studies ever done that show this old canard about taking your ten days of antibiotics to be true, and it makes no sense at all in terms of evolutionary biology. No doctor has ever been able to explain it to me logically nor to defend it with any kind of documentation or studies. Yet I've been hearing it for 50 years. 

 

In terms of actual evolutionary biology, you said it yourself: "the bacteria left will be the ones most resistant to the drug." If they have acquired the gene that makes them resistant to the drug, it's not going to matter how many days you take it. The longer you take it the more you guarantee that the ONLY bacteria to survive will be the resistant ones. You will have killed off all of their competition. The resistant ones, once the antibiotic is removed, will reproduce and repopulate the site, and then you will have ONLY resistant bugs there.

 

That's how superbugs are created--by using antibiotics, not by not using antibiotics.

 

(Actually the way antibiotics work is by knocking down the bugs enough that the immune system can then take over and get them fully under control. So to me it makes more sense to take them for as short a time as necessary, and to support the immune system in getting control of the situation.)

 

It's medical urban legend. It makes no logical sense, I can't find any evidence of it scientifically anywhere, but it persists. That's medicine for ya. All it takes to make something a fact is that it's said over and over, preferably by people in expensive clothing with lots of letters after their names. The way our medical education system works (quite dysfunctionally) is very hierarchical and authoritarian, and people who are likely to ask questions and not accept authority on face value tend to weed out. (Or so my friends who've gone through it have described to me.) What's passed down is this attitude and prejudice that doctors know more than anyone and you can't trust non-doctors because they're idiots because they're not doctors. I see it every day working in healthcare.

 

Some of the worst science anywhere is happening in medicine, actually, and that's been documented pretty extensively (the worthlessness of most of what passes for "science" in medicine). That's what happens when you practice $cience. Medicine is highly profitable, when practiced for profit, which is just one of the many reasons for-profit healthcare is a terrible idea.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Skyler

I'm seriously considering holding all my other tapers and just focusing on getting the Valium down, not because it makes sense in my taper (it doesn't, Valium is actually the least of my problems right now and I'm already on a low dose) but because I don't like being held hostage like this. If I could get down to 1 mg per day, I'd have enough left over at the end of the month (if I save what I don't use, making two days' worth at once) that I won't be in trouble if some yahoo decides not to refill my prescription on time.

 

Which means having to deal with yahoos and their Valium prejudice.

 

I swear, as good as the Ashton method is for so many people, this is one of the biggest problems with it in today's medical-prejudice environment: urban legend about Valium, and badly misinformed doctors.

I hear you on the hostage front Rhi.. I tapered off diazepam first, in good part because I'm planning on moving and would have lost the kindly GP who patiently wrote scripts all during that too long taper ... who knows if I'd find the same in another location. The baggage that goes with diazepam is nuts, especially given the abandon with which docs prescribe almost every other brand of benzo!

 

Waiting to see how you make out with the job!

Skyler


As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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ladybug

 

 

 
"you have to take your antibiotics for ten days or the bugs will develop resistance"

Wait, so that's not true? I'm taking a public health class and that was mentioned in the chapter on infectious diseases. The reasoning is that if you don't take a full course of your antibiotics, the bacteria left will be the ones that were most resistant to the drug, they will then propagate, and potentially these "superbugs" will be passed on to others. It's survival of the fittest and all that. I know you work in a lab so are obviously WAY more knowledgeable about it than I am lol.

 

I'm sorry you had to go through all that with the pharmacy and your doctor. Before I found someone who would regularly prescribe me Paxil, I felt like an addict desperately searching for someone to write me a prescription. I once even had a nurse practioner "cut me off" because I made the mistake of being truthful to her about my slow taper and after a few months she said I was taking too long, it was all in mind, and I could cold turkey off 12mg of Paxil and be fine. I was left to scramble to find another doctor to write me a prescription. So now, I just lie and say "Yes, the Paxil is working great, I love it!"  I imagine it would be A LOT harder if Paxil was a controlled substance.

 

 

Um, so, well, totally off topic, but: The thing that causes antibiotic resistance is the use of antibiotics. You create a selective pressure and the genes that can resist that pressure are selected for.

 

I have found no studies ever done that show this old canard about taking your ten days of antibiotics to be true, and it makes no sense at all in terms of evolutionary biology. No doctor has ever been able to explain it to me logically nor to defend it with any kind of documentation or studies. Yet I've been hearing it for 50 years. 

 

In terms of actual evolutionary biology, you said it yourself: "the bacteria left will be the ones most resistant to the drug." If they have acquired the gene that makes them resistant to the drug, it's not going to matter how many days you take it. The longer you take it the more you guarantee that the ONLY bacteria to survive will be the resistant ones. You will have killed off all of their competition. The resistant ones, once the antibiotic is removed, will reproduce and repopulate the site, and then you will have ONLY resistant bugs there.

 

That's how superbugs are created--by using antibiotics, not by not using antibiotics.

 

(Actually the way antibiotics work is by knocking down the bugs enough that the immune system can then take over and get them fully under control. So to me it makes more sense to take them for as short a time as necessary, and to support the immune system in getting control of the situation.)

 

It's medical urban legend. It makes no logical sense, I can't find any evidence of it scientifically anywhere, but it persists. That's medicine for ya. All it takes to make something a fact is that it's said over and over, preferably by people in expensive clothing with lots of letters after their names. The way our medical education system works (quite dysfunctionally) is very hierarchical and authoritarian, and people who are likely to ask questions and not accept authority on face value tend to weed out. (Or so my friends who've gone through it have described to me.) What's passed down is this attitude and prejudice that doctors know more than anyone and you can't trust non-doctors because they're idiots because they're not doctors. I see it every day working in healthcare.

 

Some of the worst science anywhere is happening in medicine, actually, and that's been documented pretty extensively (the worthlessness of most of what passes for "science" in medicine). That's what happens when you practice $cience. Medicine is highly profitable, when practiced for profit, which is just one of the many reasons for-profit healthcare is a terrible idea.

 

Sorry to have gone OT, but thanks for the explanation. Very interesting!


a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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alexjuice

Check your PMbox.


"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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Rhiannon

I am having a hard time this morning remembering that cortisol mornings ever go away, that I will ever feel good again. I seriously can't remember. I mean I do remember feeling better after my two long holds (three months plus) but I don't remember if I felt good in the mornings or not, I just remember that I felt better overall.

 

Today is probably worse because the past two nights I have had a small amount of alcohol. One glass of wine Friday, eight ounces of beer last night. It's crazy that that small an amount bothers me so much. In both cases it was because I was in social situations where it would have been weird not to have been having a small drink (one was hearing a friend play at a winery, the other was a happy hour get-together before going to a school play).

 

I go to bed feeling pretty good usually, but wake up just wishing I could die right now.

 

There's sunshine and I'm going for a walk on a nice trail with a friend this afternoon, getting some spring starts to put in my garden, and then going to a small gathering tonight to watch comedy and eat pizza. Ordinarily this would be a GREAT day for me. But I feel like crap and I wish I could just stay in bed for about three days. This would be the perfect time to catch the flu or something.

 

But I know from experience that hermit-ing out would just make me more depressed and cranky, so even though I'm having anhedonia and not really able to enjoy the social stuff I'm doing very much, I know it's good for me, like vitamins, and I just have to do it.

 

Grumble grumble grumble grouch.

 

Remind me, this will pass, right? I'll stay away from the beer tonight.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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bubble

oh I know of such feelings so well!

 

but somebody recently wrote how we feel very reluctant engaging in an activity initially, then gently push ourselves to go (because we know as you say that staying in bed would in the end make us feel even worse(. I mostly end up enjoying myself in outings I started reluctantly so I hope this happens to you too

 

it really sounds like a great day although I find it very difficult to put two social engagements into one day. I had a great time hiking and enjoying my spring flowers but going out would be too much. Watching a TV show is a better option (maybe because I again spent 6 hours outside).

 

Also 2 consecutive days of activity is usually two much but you are doing great

 

and bad things will pass. I bet you'll lose it during the hike :)


Current: Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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bubble

too much ;)


Current: Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Skyler

Remind me, this will pass, right? I'll stay away from the beer tonight.

I sympathize, want to have my once a month tall stiff micro brew!! Waaaa

 

Hope you feel better soon.


As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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dalsaan

Yes it will pass but not sooner than you'd like it too : ). I'd like to hear more about the trail. We have some nice walks where I live. Mostly along cliff tops near the beach. The only downside is that there are no big trees, mainly small shrubs. I love the majesty of forests

 

Hope your day goes ok


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Rhiannon

Well knock on wood, I think I'm feeling a little better today. Still not getting enough sleep. Trying not to stress out too much about the job interview on Friday. Actually I think I'm more stressed out about packing and getting ready and going out of town than about the actual interview, at this point, although I'm sure it will be stressful once I get there. But I'm not desperate for a job--this one would be nice, but there will be others, and there's some appeal to just staying put too.

 

I think the anhedonia might be lifting a little bit today. Went for a walk in the sunshine and saw some spring flowers and felt a little bit of pleasure at the sight of them, yay, good sign!

 

Just to document this for myself: I made a set of cuts on Feb. 26th after holding for about a month, right after returning from a trip to visit the folks in Texas, and right before a series of three graveyard nights, which was followed soon after by a very busy and stressful weekend of work. I think the higher than usual stress may have affected my bounce-back period. Plus I cut 2 mg of Lamictal at once. I finally just had a nice break, four days off in a row, got in a couple of nice long walks in the spring sunshine, and I think it's helping. Unfortunately I have more stress coming up. But I'm holding now, planning to hold actually until the end of April, except I may make one more small cut in the Xanax to get it down to 0.125 which is exactly half a tablet (currently at 0.130).

 

I hope my sleep improves soon, I'm feeling pretty tired... 


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Rhiannon

Yes it will pass but not sooner than you'd like it too : ). I'd like to hear more about the trail. We have some nice walks where I live. Mostly along cliff tops near the beach. The only downside is that there are no big trees, mainly small shrubs. I love the majesty of forests

 

Hope your day goes ok

 

Oh that trail is great, it's a former railroad track bed so it's fairly level and wide. The part that I walk on is about three miles round trip, but the overall trail where they've removed the railroad track goes something like another hundred miles or so. I've never gone up on that part but I hear it's really nice. 

 

The part that I walk is between a river and a road, but the road is up high above the level of the trail and it's not terribly busy so it's not really annoying.

 

There are trees along the trail, lots of blackberry bushes, and down to the other side from the road are a few houses at first, then it's just a pretty sharp drop down to the river. 


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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bubble

mmmm, like all sorts of trails :) this one sounds picturesque...


Current: Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Nikki

Do you take your dogs???

 

Sounds lovely


Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Rhiannon

I wish I had dogs...sigh...not right now, maybe someday.

 

The withdrawal seems to be settling down. I've come down with a cold so it's kind of hard to say, but it seems like I'm in better spirits overall. Still having mild cortisol mornings, some insomnia, but it seems to be easier to calm myself and I'm generally feeling happier about life, so things seem to be going in the right direction.

 

Anyway, I wanted to announce that I've reached a happy personal milestone in my taper:  As of today I am down to 0.125 mg of Xanax daily! That's a big one for me psychologically. It's half of the smallest dose tablet they make. When I started my taper four years ago I estimated what I was taking at 0.65, but originally I had been taking three tablets a day, 0.75 mg.  Whole tablets.

 

And more significant for me is that for almost 20 years I took one tablet every night. I know now that those nightly tablets were contributing to the anxiety I was experiencing during the day. I knew I had to take them, I was totally hostage to those little white tablets.

 

I don't know why, there's something about being down to just half of one tablet every day that feels like a victory.  And now that half tablet is spread out over 24 hours, so my blood levels are hopefully staying pretty low.

 

Whatever. I'm just enjoying the feeling of winning a small victory over those hated little white tablets. Cut you in half, HA!


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Rhiannon

And after my last set of cuts I'm at 60 mg Lamictal and 1 mg Celexa (also a nice victorious number). Going to hold those guys for a while at those doses while I adapt to the new Xanax dose. Then I think starting in May I'll do something I don't often do, hold everything else and taper just one drug, the Valium this time. That's a rough one for me but I want to start working my way down to 1.5 mg on it, need to get down to lower dosages so I'm not so hostage to doctor whims, also because of all the other reasons. Tapering Valium causes me such intense problems with insomnia and cortisol that I'm just going to hold everything else for a while. 

 

And so it goes...the long slow journey.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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areyouthere

CONGRATULATIONS Rhi!! Down to i/2 a tablet feels like a huge victory because it IS a HUGE VICTORY!!!!! Yay! Happy dance time!!!

 

RU  :D


Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone

1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox.

b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b]

2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax

November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b

Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax

My mantra " go slow & with the flow "

3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day)

4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day.

10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro.

1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms.

1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. :) 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut.

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Nikki

Rhi I was just reading your post on Barb's thread about grieving a lost life.....

 

Very potent and far reaching for me too.  Rebuilding in the last few years along with drug mix ups has taken it's toll.  Life or struggling with it all brings me to tears sometimes.  Today I told myself it is okay to cry.

 

Looking to catch a break and can't seem to find one.

 

Your honesty on that post/subject was so good for me to read.  I know I am not alone and sometimes that it a comfort.

 

Hugs


Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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mattinsmom

I'm just checking in. I feel like I have missed so much.

 

HAPPY 0.125mg DAY! Congratulations. 

 

I'm glad to hear that your w/d is settling down a bit.

 

There are 'rail trails' here for me as well. They do make for nice walks. Do you know anyone who would let you borrow a dog for a walk? I'd let you walk my guy  in a heartbeat :)


Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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Rhiannon

Aww your dog is adorable.

 

I hope some time in the next few years I'll be able to create a life and living space that has a dog in it. I miss having a dog in my life. 

 

Actually come to think of it I have a neighbor who has a puppy and also a passle of kids. I wonder if she'd appreciate some help with the dog.

 

On other news, it's still hard to say because I'm still just getting over being sick, but I think maybe the withdrawal stuff is settling down. At least the morning cortisol seems a little less intense, and I feel like my frontal lobes might be starting to come back online. And I'm feeling a little better about life in general. Sometimes. In the usual bumpy windows and waves kind of way. Still planning to hold through the end of April and enjoy the break. 


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Rhiannon

CONGRATULATIONS Rhi!! Down to i/2 a tablet feels like a huge victory because it IS a HUGE VICTORY!!!!! Yay! Happy dance time!!!

 

RU  :D

 

:-)

 

Aw thanks!


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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dalsaan

I've never met a dog that didn't like a walk and with lots of kids I'm sure your neighbour would be happy to lend hers


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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bubble

this is really great news (for all of us :)

 

2 big victories over small nasty pills that we  can celebrate!

 

hope the hold brings even wider windows and the idea about the neighbour's puppy is great. I've never had a dog but being around small kids, animals, old people or anyone who is entirely in the present moment is very healing, a form of practicing mindfulness meditation :)


Current: Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Rhiannon

Grr, having the usual hassles with prescription refills, which is only really a problem with the Valium because I have extras of everything else.

 

I guess starting in May I'm going to just focus on getting the Valium level down to where I can start accumulating some extras of those too so I won't have this problem every 30 days. Because every time I call them and say "I'm calling a week early because last time it took a friggin week to get my refill" they think "ah, drug seeker..." because it's Valium and of course anyone who takes Valium is suspect.  Because argle bargle urban doctor legend Valium is eviler than other drugs and only addicts take it.

 

God, I love doctors. Not.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Rhiannon

Well, I am definitely coming out of this last bout of withdrawal. Mornings are still a bit rougher, but by bedtime I'm feeling quite contented. It helps that it's spring, flowers are popping up everywhere, we're having lots of sunshine, I have spinach and chard and lettuce and bok choy and mache in my garden, and next weekend my kids (both daughters with their fellas) are coming to spend two nights and all day Saturday with me to celebrate my birthday! Such a treat! We're going to go wildflower hiking. I'm not sure where, but this time of year we're sure to see wildflowers almost anywhere we pick.

 

Friday I'll be driving in to Portland, which is also always nice; it's a beautiful drive. I won't be in any hurry, so maybe I'll take the slower and even more scenic route along the Washington side of the river. Huge river, almost a mile wide in places, mountains and cliffs, hawks and eagles, ferns and forests, and wildflowers...

 

I often bemoan living out here in the boonies, especially the "single and lonely and nobody to date" part, but I forget the part about "living in a beautiful place that people pay lots of money to visit" sometimes. It really is amazing here, and the springtime just explodes.

 

My life doesn't actually suck in every possible way. 

 

Now I remember why I decided to treat myself to a long hold. So I could remember that I can feel like this. At least in the evenings.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Lexy

Rhi

I'm glad you are feeling well and getting out.

 

On your signature you listed Xanax and Valium. Which of these are the lesser evil?

I had a panic attack a couple days ago and had to take a 1/4 of a Xanax from a .25mg. I feel anxiety is trying to break thru in the same way as the mood swings came....starts slowly and all of a sudden gets higher.

On withdrawal when I do take (rarely) Xanax it makes me feel numb and foggy.

Does Valium help for panic?


Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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trouper

wildflowers in the pacific northwest in spring. amazing. :) it sounds like you are going to have a wonderful birthday. :) 


on 37.5 - 50mg zoloft/sertraline for GAD from 3/1996 to 4/2013 (17 years) 

too fast taper from 1/13-4/13

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Rhiannon

Rhi

I'm glad you are feeling well and getting out.

 

On your signature you listed Xanax and Valium. Which of these are the lesser evil?

I had a panic attack a couple days ago and had to take a 1/4 of a Xanax from a .25mg. I feel anxiety is trying to break thru in the same way as the mood swings came....starts slowly and all of a sudden gets higher.

On withdrawal when I do take (rarely) Xanax it makes me feel numb and foggy.

Does Valium help for panic?

 

Lexy, I can't give you advice on what drugs to take. Benzos are very problematic and should only be used as a last resort and used cautiously and rarely.

 

I couldn't say something like "which is the lesser evil." Valium is very long-acting, Xanax is short-acting and wears off much faster than Valium. I wish I weren't taking either one of them and am tapering off them as fast as I safely can.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Rhiannon

wildflowers in the pacific northwest in spring. amazing. :) it sounds like you are going to have a wonderful birthday. :)

 

:-)  !!!


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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mattinsmom

Birthday? How did I miss a birthday? Happy birthday to my Valentine!


Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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JanCarol

Oh Rhi, it took me 2.5 weeks to read your story.  My word, you know how to make a girl feel lucky!

 

But it sounds like you are finally getting lucky, too.  I "get that" about the "drug seekers".  Geez, aren't we all adults here?  When I heard Thomas Szasz in a video speak that all drugs should be legal, and adults should be able to ask doctors for advice and then choose their own medication, I pumped my fist in the air.  Yes!  Wouldn't that be AWESOME instead of the "gatekeeper nanny based" systems we have?  

 

And the shame and frowning when you ask for one of the "forbidden ones."  Sheesh!  I'm trying to ask for an emergency script for Valium in case I go manic on the lithium.  My pdoc gazed down upon me indulgently, as if to say, "when hell freezes over."  There are even laws which tell her what she can prescribe.  Items outside that, "safety zone" she has to defend with an "authority script."  It's irrelevant to insurance or medicare - it's the law.

 

So thank heavens for your window and your birthday, and your wildflowers.  I miss the drama of spring and seasonal changes, we don't quite get them here.  Enjoy!  


"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Pokeshaw

Happy Birthday, Rhi!  You are a :) ~~ SUPERSTAR ~~ :)  in my eyes!

 

hugs,

 

Pokeshaw in Bklyn


7 yrs Lexapro 10 mg. Mar/2011 - 1 month taper. Severe W/D. Multiple symptoms.Gallbladder and parathyroid surgery in Aug and Oct. Disability 3 months.  Dec/2011 reinstated 5mg Lex and went back to work. very bad shape.

By Aug/2012 - self tapered to 1.25 mg cutting pills. -very bad shape. Nov/2012  Dr. Hinz neuro-replete. up and down. Aug/2013 at aprox 1.0 mg Lex stopped neuro-replete ~Oct 2013 Found this site  ~ began using compounded Lexapro and have been micro tapering since then and holding as needed.

11/6/2013 -  0.6 mg

2/1/2018 - .135 mg  Now reducing 5-10% per month 

4/1/18 - .1 mg

4/17/18 - changed delivery from compounded individual caps to aliquot. went from .1 mg to .09 aliquot

7/4/2018 - .09 mg Holding due to wave of W/D symptoms

7/22/18 updosed to .1 mg aliquot

9/30/18 - reduced to .0975 aliquot

2/1/19 - updosed to .1 mg aliquot due to instability bad wave W/D

9/12/19 - back to .1 mg individual caps since could not get stable using aliquot

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bubble

Happy birthday to a very dear and special person :)


Current: Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Petunia

I hope you had a great birthday day today :)


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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dalsaan

Happy birthday Rhi. Hope you had a great day x


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Rhiannon

Aw thanks! Actually I fooled you all, my birthday is NEXT weekend, this weekend was a work thing, but I'll take all the birthday wishes and hold them close to my heart!

 

Feeling sort of sad and tired tonight, but I think it's mostly because I got up at 6 am today to get to the city in time for this workshop I went to. And consumed caffeine, never a great idea for me. 

 

Thanks again for the good wishes and the kind thoughts and comments. You don't know how much I appreciate it.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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