☼ Rhiannon's intro (by Rhi)

[bubble]

We have so much gratitude for everything that you are that saying this only once is just not enough.

 

so I'm glad we will have one more opportunity next weekend

[Nikki]

My life doesn't actually suck in every possible way. 

 

Now I remember why I decided to treat myself to a long hold. So I could remember that I can feel like this. At least in the evenings.

Rhi

 

I had to back track on your post and I am glad I did.  Have to do that to catch up with what is going on with members.

 

It is amazing how our moods/attitudes can change when we are not under a spell of WD.  the Pacific Northwest sound beautiful.  Spring seems to give a boost.

 

On Saturdays (now that I stopped working and gave that day back to myself) is something I look forward to very much.  I meet for an Al-Anon meeting at 9am under the Juno Beach Pier.  I am very close to these people and we do brunch afterwards.  A wonderful way to connect with people on a deeper level.

 

I was sharing that my recovery in a 12 step program waxes and wanes.  LIke you said when in better spirits I can see that my life "doesn't actually suck in every possible way."  There are days when I can wake up and not go into doing "fox hole prayers".

 

You treated yourself to a long hold and it did you a world of good.  Thank you for the reminder.

[Rhiannon]

Having a rough day today. Windows and waves, windows and waves...mammaP, where's that picture of the two ladies surfing? I need it! :-)

 

Actually, well, having some intermittent withdrawal symptoms, but I think the thing that's mostly dragging me down is being sick and taking so long to get well. I do seem to be a little better each day, but it's so discouraging and so slow. It's been like, almost two weeks now! Sheesh. (I know, I know, whine whine...)

 

To quote Fannie Lou Hamer: I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!

[bubble]

Oh do I know this feeling: I was actually physically ill and wavy for 2 month, also some kind of general malaise, coming down in all sorts of ways.

 

Some people say it's all the accumulated toxins and stress coming out of us but it's not fun at all ;(

 

On a positive note, we are seeing more of your delightful presence here

[mattinsmom]

Sending a hug your way. 

Best I got to offer at the moment. 

Hope things settle for you quickly.

[WinningThrough]

Hi Rhi

 

I just re-read your story and have read some of your posts. You have been through SO much and you're so strong. You're doing amazingly well with your taper.

 

I want to take this opportunity to send a massive thank you for all the support you've given me.

 

Virtual hugs.

[Rhiannon]

:-)

 

Settling down, although it's still bumpy, waves and windows, just a little more subtle. 

 

I'm down to 1.76 on the Valium, holding there for four or five days, then going to take it down to 1.75. Should probably hold it there for longer than I probably actually will. Feels like progress, but I'm sure enjoying feeling better, and not crazy about dealing with Valium withdrawal, which has probably not even fully hit yet.

 

Still it's interesting to do something different (holding all my other meds for many months while tapering just one).

 

I've been having a lot of foot swelling and general inflammation and achiness. Has anyone ever had that with Valium withdrawal? Might be my diet or something too. Goddess only knows. It's tolerable.

 

I'm feeling pretty proud of my progress though, holding at 1 mg Celexa, 0.125 of Xanax, and 60 mg Lamictal.

[Wolfhound]

Congratulations on this achievement Rhi!

About swellin and achiness - I suffer from joint pain in wd. I guess though that everything is possible in this condition. WH

[bubble]

this sounds great! and paves the wave for the rest of us

 

congrats!!!

[WinningThrough]

Congratulations on getting down to 1.76 on the valium! I'm sorry to hear about the foot swelling and achiness. Withdrawal seems to take one symptom away and then add another!

[Rhiannon]

Update: I'm feeling really good! That seems to be pretty consistent for me. I haven't done three-month holds many times, but each time, somewhere around three months out, I get to feeling really good. Optimistic, happy, excited about life, playful, able to experience pleasure. Not 100% of the time--I have bouts of fatigue and occasional bad spells--but it's a huge contrast to how I am when I've made cuts and I'm in withdrawal, even as mild as I try to keep the withdrawal. 

 

I need to write this now and read it later, because I forget how optimistic I can feel about my life and how happy I can feel in spite of the things I wish I could change about my life.

 

I'm feeling extra happy now because I've found a direction for myself, in my career, and it involves using my brain, which I seem to be getting back (I'd say cognitively I'm back to about 75% to 85% of my former abilities, although it's hard to say after two decades). I'm going to focus on statistical quality control, which is a thing that labs need but not everyone can master. I'm pretty confident I can be pretty good at it. Lots of math, lots of logic. Going to also take some online courses in data analysis and visualization, learn to program in something called R, learn to do statistical functions in Excel...well, at least right now that's sort of the plan, I will adjust as I go along.

 

Anyway, at my job in a teensy eensy rural lab I wasn't sure how much support I would get for doing this stuff (our QC is pretty much mid-twentieth-century and just the absolute minimum required by regulations at this point). But I found out yesterday that I'm going to be trained on some new QC software we're going to start using soon, which I had already been reading about and am VERY excited about! They're only training two of us plus the supervisor, and the other person they're training was the previous technical supervisor who already has a lot of experience with this stuff.

 

So I'm feeling both excited about the new software (because YES! new software, right?) and also very encouraged that they're taking my ambitions seriously and that I'm going to be able to get some hands-on practice with projects that I can put on my resume, in addition to the studying/learning that I'm doing on my own.

 

My dream is to get a job at the big health sciences university in the city near here, working in their lab, maybe working with researchers, doing statistical data analysis. (Hey, you gotta have a big dream, right?) Have no idea if I'll get that far, but from here it looks like however far I get it's going to be interesting and I will definitely be more employable and doing (at least some of the time) more challenging and stimulating work. Might even make more money.

 

I'm looking at kind of a two-year plan now, of focusing hard on the learning and studying, continuing to taper down and get my brain clearer, and getting some skills that will give me an edge in getting at least some kind of job in the city. (It's kind of competitive because they want younger people in this field, and this particular city is very popular among younger people, growing fast, so there are a lot of folks willing to work cheap and jobs don't stay open for long.)

 

We shall see. 

 

What's especially exciting about this is that I had pretty much given up hope that I would ever have work in which my intelligence would really get some exercise. It's so fun to feel the wheels slowly beginning to turn again, rust-covered and sticky as they are. I've lost so much, and I've resigned myself to those losses--but the idea that I could maybe get a second chance to get back something I had given up on? It's very encouraging. Who knows where it will go, and I probably won't always be as thrilled about it as I am now, but right now it's bringing me a lot of joy.  

 

Okay, taper stuff: I'm still holding the Lamictal and Celexa, although I'm letting them drift down very slowly and I think in a week or so I'll be at 59 mg Lamical and just under 1 mg Celexa (not by much, something like 0.98). Not even drifting with the Xanax, keeping it steady at 0.125 now. Today I dropped to 1.72 mg on the Valium, which might be too fast, but it's so hard to say because the way the metabolites build up and then go down slowly, it's hard to correlate reductions with symptoms. I'm thinking I'll go on down to 1.7 next week sometime and then maybe hold it there for ten days or so. 

 

Okay, long post, but I wanted to share. I won't always be feeling this good (as y'all know!)--when I'm tapering more actively, yuck, it will be good to have this to look back on. And maybe some of y'all will find it encouraging as well.

[Barbarannamated]

Awesome, Rhi!

[WinningThrough]

Rhi, that's amazing!!

[btdt]

I know I need to introduce myself and tell you my story. But I am so sick of my story. It was so long and so painful to live through, and it's long and painful to tell, and probably tedious to read. Too bad I can't draw, I could do it as a graphic novel. That might be more fun. So, shooting for nutshell version: In 1992 I was put on Prozac and then Xanax and flurazepam for PTSD after an assault. The Prozac introduced me to the fun world of akathisia and eventually chronic episodal suicidal depressions. A few years after that I began to have intrusive memories of horrific childhood abuse and I started into therapy and into a long, excruciating journey of dealing with those recovered memories and aftermath, but I won't go into that further now. During the ensuing years I was switched around on various meds but most of the time was taking Wellbutrin, Buspar, Xanax (at bedtime only, bad mistake), and Elavil. I also used marijuana a lot, almost daily, for an unremitting anxiety and edginess that I now realize was probably the combination of akathisia and agitation from the ADs and daily interdose withdrawal from the Xanax that I was only taking once a day. (Xanax is short acting and produces roller coaster blood levels with resultant withdrawal symptoms if you wait too long between doses.) I won't go into all the details of my life during those next 15 years or so; suffice it to say I was barely able to function, I couldn't work a regular job, I struggled to raise my children through the miasma of pain and fog, and after another relationship and a breakup and another change in meds combined with perimenopause I became delusional and very unstable and did a lot of crazy stuff that I will forever regret, leading to me losing my house, my life savings, almost all my possessions, and what few friendships had survived my years of social dysfunction and agoraphobia on the drugs. In 2007 I swallowed a handful of Elavil and woke up in the hospital. They finally let me out after filling me so full of strong ADs that I went into a classic manic episode (interesting, and horrible) followed by (since I ct'd all the meds while I was Superwoman) the worst suicidal depression yet. Which got me diagnosed bipolar and started on Lamictal and Neurontin. fast forward slightly...I did get a job, which I was almost fired from for not being able to remember anything for more than about five minutes, and I needed the job desperately so I CT'd the Morontin; crashed into a horrible, suicidal depression; was put on Paxil and Xanax; decided after 3 weeks of 10 mg Paxil that I didn't want to take Paxil and quit it CT on my own; and went into another horrible suicidal spell. But this was interesting: For the first time, for whatever reason, I actually saw that the problem was the drug. It wasn't me. I had always thought it was me, just my "disease," my "underlying disorder" causing all the weird emotional stuff I went through. But this time it was so clearly the drug. And I realized for the first time: these drugs are not like aspirin. Not like herbs or vitamins. These drugs are extremely precise and incredibly potent in their action, and they do something very specific to the brain, specific and strong and not good. So in February of 2010 I started tapering, and that's what I'm still doing now. I started on 5 mg of Ambien, 300 of Neurontin, 200 of Lamictal, about 0.7 of Xanax, and 10 of Celexa. Today I'm off Ambien, down to 78 of Neurontin, 141 of Lamictal, 0.41 of Xanax, and 5.25 of Celexa. I'm also taking 2 mg of Valium, from an attempted crossover from Xanax; I'm not tapering the Valium yet. The rest of my taper is going to go more slowly than the first year, I think. I've discovered that I like being functional and having a life. Now, tapering, dealing with withdrawal, I actually feel better most of the time and am more functional than I ever was during all those years when I was actually taking psych meds at "therapeutic" doses. I cut small amounts, slowly, and take intermittent holds whenever my symptoms start to ramp up, and hold until I feel better (I usually get to about 80% improvement before I cut again). I'm more stable than I can remember being in a very long time (I think that's due a lot to the fact that I'm dosing the Xanax properly now). I'm definitely doing well. But that's me today--I'm just coming out of a long hold and just found out I'm moving so I'm continuing to hold, because there's no way I can deal with moving while in active withdrawal. And I get to feeling pretty good during my holds. You'll be hearing a whole different story in a month or so when I start cutting again, no doubt. I do plan to keep the taper slow, though. The more I learn, and the more I experience what's happening in my own CNS, the more convinced I am that slow, slow, slow is what my body/brain wants and needs in order to repair and recover and maybe, if I'm really lucky, minimize the damages wrought in the past 20 years. I don't know yet if I'll be able to get off all meds. It may be too late, given how long I was on meds and how many. But I plan to get on the lowest possible dose of the fewest possible meds, and have the best life I can manage with the years I have left. And that's it for now. Okay, so, it was a large nut. what can I say. --Rhiannon

Hello Rhiannon

I just read your "story".  It is much like my own in a way I have always thought there were no people like me in the world and if there were I would never find them and here you are.  I feel a bit of kinship here and have one thing to offer you in way of a provoking thought. 

 

Have you ever considered the "hidden memories" were drug induced? 

 

I did some research on this and presented it on the Effexor topix page long ago.  Sadly it has all been deleted now.  

It was hard to find to start with and I have no idea if any of it still exists.  I think I started my searching with ssri induced false memory... I know how loaded the term false memory is and at one time this term would have boiled my blood when perpetrators try to get off using this term as a cover it still does.  However over the years I gradually accidentally became aware of abuse stories that were recanted once the person making the claim got off their antidepressant drugs and so I had to take a closer look.  WE know how these drugs play with our brains we know some of it maybe just maybe there is a lot more that is not so well known because  of the stigma and the idea of the term protecting abusers being as distasteful as it is.  I could see why people would be reluctant to go there.  It is a suggestion for you to disregard if you like and maybe at some other point you will take a look.  I think the question begs to asked... and answered. 

I have read a lot of you posts today and will say the post you made about you children hits home too... till now I think only NoRXforme...(pp) has touch my heart on this subject as way of identification... as much as you have... she use to post on the topix thread too we had long deep discussions about out kids and being a drugged single parent ... how this segment (single mother's and their kids) of society is sorely affected by these drugs and the long term ramifications do seem endless.  

Thank you for you posts.  

I wish you peace. 

[btdt]

Rhi

I typed you up an extensive message only to learn I could not send it.  Just so you know in case you did not know you pm function is off full or otherwise dysfunctional.  

[Rhiannon]

No, I have independent corroboration of my memories. Sadly, they are not in doubt.

 

And your suggestion is beyond rude and hurtful to an abuse survivor. Like most of us, I have been accused many times of making up the things I remember, mostly by the members of my family system who have the most at stake in not believing them, sometimes by people outside who just don't want to believe that people would do things like that to children. (May I say, by the way, that holding that position just gives carte blanche to the people who have no problem with it whatsoever.)

 

Not everyone is as fortunate as I am to have independent corroboration of horrific things they remember, and most of us want to believe they aren't true anyway because it would be far preferable. Yet discovering, uncovering, admitting, and claiming the truth is absolutely a crucial prerequisite to healing from it. So not believing yourself means being stuck forever in the horrible wounds those experiences cause. And that's a terrible fate, particularly since once you walk the excruciating path of recovery, the gains are so, so worth it, that to discourage someone from taking that path is at least as cruel as putting someone on psych drugs without telling them it's going to ruin their lives.

 

You have clearly heard only some popular myths about recovered memories and trauma memory, not done any real study of the subject, or you would know that the recanting of "memories" that are false is unicorn-rare compared to the dissociation/loss of memories that are real. For example studies show that a significant percentage of people who were abused as children and actual criminal cases were brought and proven against their abusers, don't remember the abuse, even when it required medical treatment. That's how the brain reacts to trauma.

 

Your comments are extremely insensitive and ill informed and I must request that you drop this topic immediately and either not post again in my thread, or if you do post, post only about drug withdrawal. No further posts on this topic will be entertained here.

[Rhiannon]

Why I actually came to my thread, before I was so rudely interrupted above, was to say that Sheesh, this is some BS: I am down from 1.8 mg of Valium to 1.74 mg, an amount that any doctor would tell you is completely insignificant, right? But I'm having withdrawal symptoms from that amount, which by the way I took about a month to drop that far. I'm having occasional random muscle spasms in muscles that don't usually spasm, not so much it's a problem, just a little weird. Plus insomnia, plus some mild neuro emotion moments.

It's pretty mild so far but being Valium I know that there's more dropping of blood levels to come, so I'm going to hold on here and hope it doesn't get worse. It's a new experience for me, the first time I've tapered a med that has such a long delay effect before all the metabolites go down to a new steady state level. It's weird because I'm so confident about tapering my other meds, but this one it's like I'm starting all over from scratch.

 

Oh well, wish me luck. I'll be updating.

[bubble]

thanks for sharing Rhi!

 

This is a very valuable experience. You forgot to update your sig so that we could see when you made that last cut So this is what long half-life means: you get hit by WD long after you make a drop, grrr. Now we know.

 

(I'm also a vicitim of child abuse although not in its most vicious forms and would also get upset were somebody to suggest I fabricated those memories. I also do get upset when my family members try to play it down and say I was only too sensitive about everything, etc. So I totally understand).

 

you'll nail this Valium as well as the others! 

[dalsaan]

Rhi,

 

Hats off for a very clear response to the above post.  As a survivor of abuse this infuriated me when I read it but wanted to show you respect in the sense of letting you respond first.

 

Re your taper, I guess it is what it is.  If .06ml drop sets you off its slow, slow slow, hold, hold, hold.  You've got this.  You are experienced, thoughtful, patient and strong.

 

Take care

 

D

[Rhiannon]

:-) 

Thanks for the supportive comments. 

 

I also wanted to let folks know that I just started a three-week course on Coursera so I might not be around here as much for a while. Don't worry if you don't hear from me, I'll definitely come in and whine if I'm sick, so "no news is good news."  

 

:-)

[Jemima]

Go, girl!  And may all your waves be little ones.

[Rhiannon]

BT I have hidden your post because I asked you not to talk about this subject in my thread any more. That includes your nonapology (in which you coincidentally defend your premise).

 

Let me assure you that no abuse survivors need this "gift" as you call it and you will be doing nobody any favors by tossing out those speculations.  Rest assured that all abuse survivors have plenty of people questioning the validity of their memories, for whatever reason, and usually no one more than they themselves. Let them sort it out themselves with their therapists. They don't need your "help."

 

I am completely skeptical that you're so well informed and knowledgeable as you claim, since I've worked with a couple of the best therapists in the country in this specialty (extreme abuse, torture etc in childhood) and neither of them seems to think that SSRI induced memories are even a thing, let alone a problem. I've also never heard of it in any of my peer support communities, and I've been at this for a little over 30 years.

 

You're doing more harm than good tossing this little gem around.  You're derailing more healing than you're helping. If you really are doing it because you care about people and want to help them (which I am also skeptical of) then you'll shut up about it, and just support people in getting good trauma therapy and sorting through their own histories for themselves.

[Pokeshaw]

Good luck with the class Rhi - and thanks for your above posts which i am sorry to say i understand from my own experience. all of my memories occurred long before taking any medication.

i love what you said about the healing ~~

 

i hope your taper evens out nicely.

 

See you here soon!

 

Pokeshaw in Bklyn

[areyouthere]

Reminded me of Aretha Franklin's song Respect!!!  I especially like "Rhi Rhi Rhi Rhi"…. Have a great workshop Rhi and thanks for all of the valuable help around this place. I have the courage I need to get through this tapering business because of people like you who have paved the way!!! 

 

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCP
Oh 
Sock it to me, sock it to me
A little respect (sock it to me, sock it to me
Sock it to me, sock it to me)
Whoa, babe (just a little bit)
A little respect (just a little bit)
I get tired (just a little bit)
Keep on tryin' (just a little bit)
You're runnin' out of fool (just a little bit)
And I ain't lyin' (just a little bit)
(RHI RHI RHI RHI) When you come home
(RHI RHI RHI RHI) 'spect
Or you might walk in (respect, just a little bit)
And find out I'm gone (just a little bit)
I got to have (just a little bit)
A little respect (just a little bit)

[Rhiannon]

LOL-- I'll never hear that song the same way again!

 

Well, I guess it's a good idea to be careful what you say to any survivor of abuse, but when it's a survivor who's also dealing with Valium withdrawal, look out!

 

I do reserve the right to be extra cranky about implications that my memories are somehow confabulated, because that's what I was told as a child and by my abusive exhusband and am still told by my family of origin. And the memories are pretty awful and incredible--it was hard for me to believe them myself. I am so fortunate to have met someone else who was abused by the same sadistic pedophile ring at around the same time so we were able to compare enough notes to confirm our memories. And I have had enough body work to have found the internal injuries to my connective tissue that correspond to things I had remembered.

 

But most survivors of a situation like mine don't get that, and they struggle with not being believed, because this kind of horrific brutalization of children is something people really don't want to know about or believe. And our brains' natural response to this kind of trauma is to dissociate it whole, so the memories are stored differently than normal narrative memory, so when they come back it's really bizarre.

 

And like I said above, it's impossible to heal until you accept the reality of what you survived, so having that reality denied is like being denied an opportunity to live as a full human being. It's emotional/psychological violence.

 

But I probably could have said it a little more politely if I wasn't in freakin' benzo withdrawal YAAARRRGGGGHHH I hate it!

 

This Valium withdrawal is turning out to be a different flavor of duck than the other meds, because of those long-acting metabolites. It appears it's easy to cut too much. I'm used to making small cuts and then waiting to feel the withdrawal symptoms and then adjusting accordingly, but with this stuff I don't feel the withdrawal so much right away, so then I cut a little more since I'm doing okay, and then wham a week later it hits. Insomnia, morning cortisol, feeling edgy and anxious. 

 

And on top of all that the PA I was seeing had to go on maternity leave suddenly with a premature baby, and the idiot doctor who supervises her decided to deny my Valium refill. I was already in high-anxiety mode and that sent me into a panic/PTSD/ hyperarousal cycle that lasted for days.

 

I'm still coming down from it. Fortunately I have a backlog from a previous prescription so I didn't have to CT (which would have put me in the hospital). And I had the doctor's email address because the hospital system I work for owns all the medical practices in this town (and yes, that's as creepy as it sounds) so I was able to email her (it was over the weekend so I couldn't reach her otherwise) and she did refill it on Monday.

 

But now I'm faced with having to search for a reasonable provider who knows that CT'ing somebody off a benzo is NEVER a good idea (short of a serious adverse reaction). Finding a doctor who will support a slow taper is not an easy task even in a big city where there are lots of doctors to choose from. Out here in the boonies, I don't know how it will go.

 

So, stress. Plus working a really long stretch of lots of days on. I get four days off this weekend, which will be nice, but not really relaxing because I'm going out of town to see my daughter--again, nice, but not really restful. I don't sleep well away from home and these days I'm not sleeping well even under ideal conditions.

 

So, sigh. I'm okay. It's tolerable, I'm not suicidal or desperate, tomorrow I have a day off and a friend is going to come over for some cuddle therapy AND I'm getting my hair done, and I think I'm going to schedule a massage for next Monday. I'm settled enough today (finally, after three days of insane anxiety) that my frontal lobes are working better and I can rationally see that no matter how I feel, I'm safe right now and things are okay.

 

But I hate this anyway.

 

Oh, also, I've been doing some Googling, and have found a lot of stuff about childhood abuse and HPA axis dysregulation; also of course lots of stuff about HPA axis dysregulation and benzos; and even one study about benzo withdrawal and HPA axis dysregulation in survivors of childhood abuse. I've printed out some abstracts which I can hopefully use to help persuade a provider that yes, I really do need to taper this slowly.

 

Wish me luck. I'll keep you posted. And send me lots of love waves and calming vibes, I need them!

[dalsaan]

I've put a calming vibes request to the universe just for you. Can you ask your old dr to recommend a new one and then get her to email them a short note to explain you have been working together on a long term tapering regime?

 

D

[Rhiannon]

Great news!

 

I had written an email to my former doc (who is now about a seven hour drive away) to ask her, if I couldn't find anyone here who would work with me, if I could come see her a couple times a year and keep getting prescriptions. She said yes!

 

She was very sweet (as usual) and said that the doc that I had trouble with is someone who other patients and staff have had problems with too, she has heard complaints. She suggested I talk to a couple of people with her former practice and like you said, dalsaan, give them her referral and tell them what she and I have been doing with the taper. I am sure she would talk to them if they want to check with her

 

So I am feeling MUCH better. I didn't realize how much the anxiety about being able to stay on this taper was affecting me. Now I know that someone has my back, I have an option if necessary, I can just feel the fear melting away. Yay yay yay yay a thousand times! I can get back to focusing on my life and my new projects now, whew, yay, hallelujah!

[lexicon]

Thinking of you dear Rhi, and sending you lots and lots of love waves ❤️

and calming vibes .. Along with lots of luck

Oooh, and many hugs,

 

Lexi

[mammaP]

I've just caught up with your thread Rhi and I'm glad that things are moving forward for you. 

 

It's amazing how stress affects every part of us and makes withdrawal so much worse. 

 

Here's my picture of surfing grandmas, a bit late but always raises a smile. 

 

 

[bubble]

hm seems Dalsaan has some special connection with the universe: his requests are answered promptly

 

I can get as much drugs as I want here, mostly for free (scary) so was thinking of shipping them over if it was possible. glad it was sorted out.

 

ladies surfing the waves should be pinned  

[Addax]

Hi Rhi.

 

Came upon your thread and am so happy to read about the good stuff going on. Yay! I've attached some calming vibes to this message...

[dalsaan]

Rhi - That's great news, I'm happy for you.  

 

Bubble - I am of the female persuasion and quite powerful it would seem 

 

D

[Rhiannon]

Well you must all be pretty powerful because I SLEPT! I actually got eight hours of sleep last night! I did wake up after five hours as usual but I got up and had a snack and then went back to lie down and took a little melatonin and actually fell asleep again and slept! 

 

What a treat! What a funny life, when sleeping eight hours is such an occasion you want to mark it on your calendar and tell all your friends about it.

 

Melatonin doesn't always work for me. It usually doesn't do anything once the cortisol kicks in but this morning the cortisol doesn't seem to be as bad. Maybe things are settling down, although I think one morning is too soon to say.

 

Thanks for all the good vibes. What a great, supportive group of people you all are. I never thought I would have friends from all over the world who cared about me so much. If I ever get rich I am going to travel and come visit each and every one of you. 

 

Or maybe I could just come on my surfboard...

 

I agree, I think the surfing grandmas need to be pinned! I wonder if I can pin them in my own thread somehow...

[bubble]

Of all the great things you shared I liked this one best: we definitely have a greater capacity to appreciate the simple joys that make life (when it treats are at least a bit decently).

 

You have a standing invitation!

 

 

 

What a treat! What a funny life, when sleeping eight hours is such an occasion you want to mark it on your calendar and tell all your friends about it.

 

 

[bubble]

Rhi - That's great news, I'm happy for you.  

 

Bubble - I am of the female persuasion and quite powerful it would seem 

 

D

 

apologies to the amazing lady with powerful connections!

[dalsaan]

8 hours! That's amazing. A couple of weeks ago I rang a friend of mine to tell her 'I had a dream'. You would have thought I was Martin Luther King the way we went on about it,

 

Very happy for you. 8 glorious hours,

 

D