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Nicjk: insomnia from Lexapro


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  • Moderator Emeritus

Nicjk, I have just read through your thread. I am so sorry you're having these issues. I hope you will take my following comments in the spirit in which they are intended. Apologies in advance if you find me blunt.

 

Bottom line, you are creating problems for yourself by impulsively going up and down in dosages, adding drugs, and generally just moving too fast. I totally understand; like me, you appear to be a problem-solver. In real life, you are probably a proactive, capable, strong woman. When a problem arises, you are likely to just "handle" it, and move on. And those are very admirable attributes. In real life.

 

But here's the thing: these drugs don't care how strong or in control of our lives we are. They are touted by doctors as gentle and harmless, but they are anything but. From the very first pill, they begin the hijack of our brains and bodies, and by the time we realize what has happened, it is impossible to go back the same way we came. That being said, there IS a way back. But it requires patience, because these drugs have to be sneaked away in small amounts so that our bodies don't realize they're gone. And it requires acceptance because we have to face the fact that there is a new normal that we must live for a while. For me, that was the hardest part. This was a problem I could not whip immediately into shape. My life had changed, and things were going to be tough for a while. The rug had been jerked out from under me and I hadn't seen it coming. I struggled against that concept for a very long time. Still do sometimes. And it always makes things worse.

 

I get it. I really do. Because I've been there. And what lousy timing for you with a baby at home. But your failure to accept what is happening is costing you dearly, and I'm not sure you are fully cognizant of that. @Shep advised you that you were likely becoming dependent on the benzo, but then you stopped taking it, triggering withdrawal and throwing your CNS further into flux. She then advised that it would be best to taper lex first. You decided instead to taper the benzo, which is, of course, your absolute right to do. But I can't help but notice that now you're faced with tapering a powerful and activating AD, plus a newly-added AP without the calming effect of the benzo. Every change to your brain's chemistry is destabilizing and will require more time to settle out. I just breaks my heart to read how you've "reset your clock" over and over. You've given your nervous system quite a job to do. My strong advice -take it or leave it- is to slow waaaay down and let all these changes settle out. They will, and you don't have to do a thing except be patient. Resist the urge to "do something." That's the hardest part.

 

I was on a klonopin/zoloft cocktail in 2016. Due to the horrible advice of a psychiatrist, I tapered the klonopin first. Then was told to CT the zoloft, and crashed very badly. Finally found this forum and started getting reliable advice. I'm now slowly tapering the very activating zoloft, and while it's doable, it's a far bigger struggle than it would have been with the cover of the benzo.  So I speak from experience.

 

One last thing: I would never tell anyone to ignore medical advice. That is a personal choice and I am not a medical professional. I only have my experience to go on. And in my experience, when it comes to these ridiculously and unnecessarily powerful brain-altering drugs, every single doctor with whom I have consulted has been 100% wrong. @Altostrata, @ChessieCat, @brassmonkey, @Gridley, @Shep and the rest of the mods on this site have gotten it right - every time. Every. Single. Time. These are volunteers, some of whom are still going through their own withdrawal journeys, who invest their time and considerable knowledge in helping strangers simply because they care. They have seen more cases than most doctors have, and their collective experience is probably unrivaled on this planet. No telling how many lives SA has saved. They enjoy no secondary gain, unlike the medical "professionals" who, in addition to charging large fees, often receive incentives from pharmaceutical companies to prescribe their drugs. Given the choice between the two, I have pledged my allegiance to the SA flag, and don't regret it. 

 

I hope I haven't offended or upset you. I just don't want to see someone who is a new mom and probably a lovely person fall unnecessarily down a long rabbit hole, if I can help it. I'm happy to talk if you want to reach out to me. Take care!

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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Hi @Altostrata, I reinstated Lexapro 2 months ago thanks to your kind advice and I have stabilised. Is it vital for me to stay on the Lexapro for around 3 months before beginning my slow taper? I am h

Posted (edited)

@SkyStreamer thank you so much for your compassionate words. I'm so sorry that you have also struggled the way I am struggling now. It does make me feel better to know that your most horrible waves eventually passed. I will definitely look into the coping strategies you suggested. Wishing you all the very best 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed quote

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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Posted (edited)

Hi @Dejavu, I am a bit lost for words at the moment but I honestly appreciate you putting things into perspective for me. You are right - I am prone to being very proactive but I am learning in this situation that it is been my biggest downfall. I am so grateful that @ChessieCat @Altostrata and @Shep have given me guidance during my darkest times. I have been tempted to once again increase my dose of Pericyazine but I am taking the advice of @ChessieCat and instead staying at my current dose and waiting it out, even though it has been pure torture. 

I hope that I can learn to accept where I am right now. Please know that you haven't offended me or upset me and I also appreciate your offer for me to reach out to you. Thank you. Wishing you the best on your journey. 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed quote

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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13 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

It's up to you.  We can't make the decision for you.

Hi @ChessieCat, I am going to follow your advice and stay on 15mg. I need to work on acceptance and try and push through this dreadful period. Can I continue reaching out to you when I need to? 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, Nicjk said:

I am taking the advice of @ChessieCat and instead staying at my current dose and waiting it out, even though it has been pure torture. 

I think this is a very good decision. Chessie has given me lots of direction and has never steered me wrong.  It will be tough for a bit, but will settle out.  I went through the same thing - made horrible mistakes and was in a world of hurt, much like you are right now. But it did go away, I stabilized fully, and am now in the tapering process. You will be okay. I will check on you periodically. Reach out if you need to. You ARE strong enough to do this!

 

 

Edited by Dejavu
Typo

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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5 minutes ago, Dejavu said:

But it did go away, I stabilized fully, and am now in the tapering process.

Just wondering how long it took you to stabilise? I know it is different for everyone but I am interested to know. Thank you so much again @Dejavu - your support means a lot to me. 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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  • Moderator
ChessieCat
6 minutes ago, Dejavu said:

It will be tough for a bit, but will settle out. 

 

Dejavu has already said what I was going to say.  We are not saying that it will be easy, but it is doable.  Many members here have had to endure through very difficult times and got through them.

 

Check out the success stories.  Focus on self care and non drug coping techniques.

 

I don't know whether you read other members' posts, but at this time I don't think it is helpful for you to be reading about other members' current issues.

 

It's very easy to forget to look after ourselves.  Write a list of things which you can easily refer to so you don't have to think too hard.  Set a reminder for several times through the day to take a bit of time out for yourself.  Even in the middle of a busy time of day you can still stop for a few seconds and do a check in with yourself to see how you are feeling and take a few deep breaths and try to relax, look out of the window to see what the weather is like, can you see the wind blowing in the trees, are there clouds, can you see the moon.

 

I think it was mentioned that you have a young baby.  Put him or her in the pram and go outside for a little while.  I know it can feel like a big effort but it might make you feel a little bit better even if it's only for a short time.

 

Write a list of things that have to be done so that you don't have it rattling around in your head and you worry about trying to remember what you have to do.  If things have to be done at a set time, set a reminder or timer.

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted (edited)

It took me about 10 months to fully stabilize. But before you freak out - and this is very important - let me say that I was seeing noticeable improvement after a few weeks, and major improvement after a couple of months. It continued to improve from there. With a few dips and peaks in between - remember this is not a linear process. You may have a great day and think you've turned the corner, and the next day might be a bad one. Generally speaking though, even better days come after the waves, in that your baseline slowly improves.

 

Truth be told, I would probably have been stabilized much sooner, but for the fact that I had a series of deaths and emergent illnesses in my family that kept my anxiety levels sky-high. My dear friend, my sister, my dear sweet Mom, and my Uncle/Godfather all passed in a span of 14 months. In between my Mom's and Uncle's deaths, both of my brothers (my last remaining siblings) crashed 4 days apart with heart issues. Both required bypass surgery and were in the hospital at the same time. One was in grave condition for days, and both were depending on me for differing types and amount of support. It would have been a hellish period in the best of times, but in withdrawal, it was almost unbearable. I was deep in grief and depression and I prayed for death on the daily for a while. It has been by far the lowest point in my life. My point in bringing this all up is to tell you that, even in the midst of all that deep horribleness, I stabilized anyway. I did ultimately chose to hold for a full year before beginning my taper because I felt sooo much better- pretty much 100% - that I wanted to savor it for a bit. 

 

I think it's important to know that, even in the midst of fear, grief and uncertainty, our brains are still working on stability. If I did it, I know you will too! It's just a matter of time, and resisting the urge to try to "fix it." Your brain already has everything it needs to fix itself. It just wants us to stay out of the way. 

1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

Check out the success stories.  Focus on self care and non drug coping techniques.

 

I don't know whether you read other members' posts, but at this time I don't think it is helpful for you to be reading about other members' current issues.

Best. Advice. Ever. Practice self care as much as you can with a baby in the house. You're going to be okay.

Edited by Dejavu
Typo

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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6 hours ago, Dejavu said:

It took me about 10 months to fully stabilize. But before you freak out - and this is very important - let me say that I was seeing noticeable improvement after a few weeks, and major improvement after a couple of months. It continued to improve from there. With a few dips and peaks in between - remember this is not a linear process. You may have a great day and think you've turned the corner, and the next day might be a bad one. Generally speaking though, even better days come after the waves, in that your baseline slowly improves.

 

Truth be told, I would probably have been stabilized much sooner, but for the fact that I had a series of deaths and emergent illnesses in my family that kept my anxiety levels sky-high. My dear friend, my sister, my dear sweet Mom, and my Uncle/Godfather all passed in a span of 14 months. In between my Mom's and Uncle's deaths, both of my brothers (my last remaining siblings) crashed 4 days apart with heart issues. Both required bypass surgery and were in the hospital at the same time. One was in grave condition for days, and both were depending on me for differing types and amount of support. It would have been a hellish period in the best of times, but in withdrawal, it was almost unbearable. I was deep in grief and depression and I prayed for death on the daily for a while. It has been by far the lowest point in my life. My point in bringing this all up is to tell you that, even in the midst of all that deep horribleness, I stabilized anyway. I did ultimately chose to hold for a full year before beginning my taper because I felt sooo much better- pretty much 100% - that I wanted to savor it for a bit. 

 

I think it's important to know that, even in the midst of fear, grief and uncertainty, our brains are still working on stability. If I did it, I know you will too! It's just a matter of time, and resisting the urge to try to "fix it." Your brain already has everything it needs to fix itself. It just wants us to stay out of the way. 

Best. Advice. Ever. Practice self care as much as you can with a baby in the house. You're going to be okay.

Wow it sounds like you went through a truly horrible, life shattering time. The fact that you are reaching out to another person to help to help them through (me) shows that you are such a strong and great person. Thanks again for reassuring me that I am on the right path and that I'm going to be ok. I am glad for you that you were able to stabilise after all you went through. 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

Link to post
8 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Dejavu has already said what I was going to say.  We are not saying that it will be easy, but it is doable.  Many members here have had to endure through very difficult times and got through them.

 

Check out the success stories.  Focus on self care and non drug coping techniques.

 

I don't know whether you read other members' posts, but at this time I don't think it is helpful for you to be reading about other members' current issues.

 

It's very easy to forget to look after ourselves.  Write a list of things which you can easily refer to so you don't have to think too hard.  Set a reminder for several times through the day to take a bit of time out for yourself.  Even in the middle of a busy time of day you can still stop for a few seconds and do a check in with yourself to see how you are feeling and take a few deep breaths and try to relax, look out of the window to see what the weather is like, can you see the wind blowing in the trees, are there clouds, can you see the moon.

 

I think it was mentioned that you have a young baby.  Put him or her in the pram and go outside for a little while.  I know it can feel like a big effort but it might make you feel a little bit better even if it's only for a short time.

 

Write a list of things that have to be done so that you don't have it rattling around in your head and you worry about trying to remember what you have to do.  If things have to be done at a set time, set a reminder or timer.

Thank you for all of your advice, which I am definitely taking on board. I guess the one thing that is causing the most anxiety for me at the moment is the fear that I might not stabilise. Any tips on how to deal with this fear? 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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  • Moderator
ChessieCat
Posted (edited)

This is an excellent website with lots of free resources:

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/selfhelp.htm

 

This is very good:

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/distract.htm#OTHER IDEAS

 

And this might be helpful:

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/CourtCase.htm

 

 

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post

@ChessieCat I have made a terrible realisation. Last night I accidentally took 2 x 10mg pills instead of a 10mg and 5mg pill. I was in a real state before going to bed so wasn't thinking straight. Do you think I would have done damage? 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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  • Moderator
ChessieCat

Many members have made an error with the dosing, including me and I've messed up my doses several times.

 

Next dose just go back to the 15mg dose.

 

I also suggest that you find a way so that it doesn't happen again.  I recently might have missed my evening dose (which was 1/3 of my total daily dose) because I didn't count out my capsules at the start of the taper period like I normally do, because I had been suffering from an injured back, which would have allowed me to count the remaining capsules and work out if I had taken it or not.

 

Don't think in terms of "damage".  Things might be a bit rough for a little while but try to stay calm and use non drug techniques to help you cope with the symptoms.

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post
41 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Many members have made an error with the dosing, including me and I've messed up my doses several times.

 

Next dose just go back to the 15mg dose.

 

I also suggest that you find a way so that it doesn't happen again.  I recently might have missed my evening dose (which was 1/3 of my total daily dose) because I didn't count out my capsules at the start of the taper period like I normally do, because I had been suffering from an injured back, which would have allowed me to count the remaining capsules and work out if I had taken it or not.

 

Don't think in terms of "damage".  Things might be a bit rough for a little while but try to stay calm and use non drug techniques to help you cope with the symptoms.

Thank you for the reassurance. I had all my pills sorted out in a pill organiser and I didn't realise that there were two compartments that had 2 x 10mg in them. It is possible that I have taken 20mg for two nights in a row, so I'm really worried. I guess all I can do is go back to 15mg now and hope for the best. 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

Link to post
33 minutes ago, Nicjk said:

Thank you for the reassurance. I had all my pills sorted out in a pill organiser and I didn't realise that there were two compartments that had 2 x 10mg in them. It is possible that I have taken 20mg for two nights in a row, so I'm really worried. I guess all I can do is go back to 15mg now and hope for the best. 

@ChessieCat is it still your opinion that I go back to 15mg even though I have possibly taken 20mg for two nights? I don’t know how I made such a silly mistake. The anxiety is making it really difficult for me to think straight 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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  • Moderator
ChessieCat

You can't change what has happened.  At least if things worsen for a little bit you know the reason for it.

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post
1 minute ago, ChessieCat said:

You can't change what has happened.  At least if things worsen for a little bit you know the reason for it.

Is it possible that I have caused kindling due to taking the two 20mg doses? 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator
ChessieCat

Nobody is able to answer that question because nobody knows what is going on inside your brain and or how stable/unstable or sensitised your nervous system currently is.  There isn't a test or scan that would be able to answer that question.

 

All you can do is try to stay as calm as possible so as not to add extra stress to your system and to ride out any increase in symptoms as best you can using non drug coping techniques.

 

If you get an increase in symptoms just remind yourself that you know the cause and that it going to take time.

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post
  • Moderator
ChessieCat

Just a reminder.  When discussing your drug, please state the name of the drug so that there is no confusion.

 

Also, please add the dates/dose increase to your drug signature.  No explanation is needed.  And also put the reduced dose and date.

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post
18 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Nobody is able to answer that question because nobody knows what is going on inside your brain and or how stable/unstable or sensitised your nervous system currently is.  There isn't a test or scan that would be able to answer that question.

 

All you can do is try to stay as calm as possible so as not to add extra stress to your system and to ride out any increase in symptoms as best you can using non drug coping techniques.

 

If you get an increase in symptoms just remind yourself that you know the cause and that it going to take time.

@ChessieCat is there a chance that I didn’t cause kindling because I only took 20mg for 2 nights? I know I should stay as calm as possible but I’m petrified. 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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  • Moderator
ChessieCat

I'd really love to be able to give you a definitive answer but it's just not possible.  I'm not the sort of person to say "there there it will be all right" when I have no idea if it will be.

 

Just like many members here going through a difficult situation with their drugs you will just have to get through each day the best you can.  And sometimes it means getting through hour by hour.

 

I suggest that you don't take anything new or stop any supplements which you are currently taking.  It's best to keep everything the same so as not to muddy the waters further.

 

It would probably also be helpful if you keep daily notes on paper of your symptoms.  It can sometimes be easier to see improvements that you might not feel.

 

Rate Symptoms Daily to Check Patterns and Progress

 

There are printable and computer charts here.

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms 

 

 

 

 

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Nic, it doesn't really matter whether you kindled yourself or not. What's done is done. Just remember that kindled people heal too.

 

I understand your intense fear. This is new and very shocking to you. We've all been there. Just stay the course, don't make any more changes, and let improvement happen. It will.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

Link to post
1 hour ago, Dejavu said:

Nic, it doesn't really matter whether you kindled yourself or not. What's done is done. Just remember that kindled people heal too.

 

I understand your intense fear. This is new and very shocking to you. We've all been there. Just stay the course, don't make any more changes, and let improvement happen. It will.

Thank you so much Shep. Does kindling mean that it takes longer to heal? That’s what I’m petrified of 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

Link to post
22 hours ago, Dejavu said:

Nic, it doesn't really matter whether you kindled yourself or not. What's done is done. Just remember that kindled people heal too.

 

I understand your intense fear. This is new and very shocking to you. We've all been there. Just stay the course, don't make any more changes, and let improvement happen. It will.

Hi @Shep, during the worst times does it feel like you’re in a daze and that there is no hope? Is it a constant anxious fearful feeling? That’s what I have 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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  • Moderator
ChessieCat
13 minutes ago, Nicjk said:

Hi @Shep, during the worst times does it feel like you’re in a daze and that there is no hope? Is it a constant anxious fearful feeling? That’s what I have 

 

It's Dejavu who responded, not Shep.

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
28 minutes ago, Nicjk said:

during the worst times does it feel like you’re in a daze and that there is no hope? Is it a constant anxious fearful feeling? That’s what I have 

Yes, Nic, you've described the feeling very well. It's common in withdrawal. The object of the game is to taper so slowly and deliberately that these symptoms are alleviated, or at least, kept to a tolerable minimum. Unfortunately, most people, me included, only find SA after the damage is already done to our nervous systems via cold turkey, too-fast taper or switching or adding drugs. In these cases, the best, and really only, course of action is to sit still on your current dose and wait for stability. Yes, it will occur, and no, not nearly soon enough. I know it's a hard pill to swallow - very hard. We've all been there. Just keep reminding yourself that this is temporary. This. Is. Temporary.

 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

Link to post
On 8/8/2020 at 1:31 PM, Dejavu said:

Yes, Nic, you've described the feeling very well. It's common in withdrawal. The object of the game is to taper so slowly and deliberately that these symptoms are alleviated, or at least, kept to a tolerable minimum. Unfortunately, most people, me included, only find SA after the damage is already done to our nervous systems via cold turkey, too-fast taper or switching or adding drugs. In these cases, the best, and really only, course of action is to sit still on your current dose and wait for stability. Yes, it will occur, and no, not nearly soon enough. I know it's a hard pill to swallow - very hard. We've all been there. Just keep reminding yourself that this is temporary. This. Is. Temporary.

 

@Dejavu I am really struggling today. It feels like my life is over and I will never get out of this feeling. I have a beautiful son and I don't even feel like having anything to do with him. I guess I just need some more reassurance that this will end. You are the only person that understands me right now. 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

Link to post

@ChessieCat if I have kindled my brain, is it still possible for me to stabilise? 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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  • Moderator
ChessieCat
On 8/7/2020 at 2:40 PM, Dejavu said:

Just remember that kindled people heal too.

 

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post
1 minute ago, ChessieCat said:

 

But does it take longer? 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Nic, I'm sorry you're struggling so hard today. I know it's cold comfort, but what you're going through is "normal" for AD withdrawal. I know the feelings you are describing very well. In the moment it feels as though things will never improve and you have zero chance of recovery. Those things are not true. I too, felt the need to stay away from people when I was in acute. Bring around anyone made me feel as though something was expected of me, and any expectation at the time was simply too much. 

 

As to your question of whether or not kindled people take longer to heal, the answer is: who knows? Who even knows if you're kindled at all? There's no diagnostic test for kindling. Stabilization takes as long as it takes. But it does happen. Kindled or not.

 

In my situation, I believe I kindled myself by going on and off zoloft over a period of a few months, then reinstating at too high a dose. But I stabilized just fine. You will too. And then it won't matter.

 

Don't get caught up in labeling your situation or placing an arbitrary time limit on your recovery. Yes, your life has been changed for the time being. That's tough to accept. But it will improve and you will heal if you don't make any radical changes and give your brain a chance to catch up to the recent changes you've made. 

 

Think about this: if people didn't heal from AD withdrawal, why would this site even exist? The mods here are all volunteers, and some are going through their own tapers and/or recovery at this time. Why would they bother? 

 

Try to get through these early rough days as best you can. Use non-drug coping tools that work for you. There is a link for that on this site - unfortunately I'm on my phone right now and can't access it. Do a search and give it a read. There's some useful stuff on there. Above all, when your brain tries to lie to you (i.e., I'm stuck this way; I'll never recover), tell yourself the truth: This is temporary. It will pass.

 

Hang in there! I'm sure you'll see a window soon.

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

Link to post
  • Moderator
ChessieCat
7 hours ago, Dejavu said:

Try to get through these early rough days as best you can. Use non-drug coping tools that work for you. There is a link for that on this site - unfortunately I'm on my phone right now and can't access it.

 

Understanding what is happening can help to reduce the fear:

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

SA strongly encourages members to learn and use non drug coping techniques.  Here are some links:

 

Non-drug techniques

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

"Change the channel"

 

Acceptance

 

  

On 4/28/2017 at 4:03 AM, brassmonkey said:

 

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try.

 

 

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post
16 hours ago, Dejavu said:

Nic, I'm sorry you're struggling so hard today. I know it's cold comfort, but what you're going through is "normal" for AD withdrawal. I know the feelings you are describing very well. In the moment it feels as though things will never improve and you have zero chance of recovery. Those things are not true. I too, felt the need to stay away from people when I was in acute. Bring around anyone made me feel as though something was expected of me, and any expectation at the time was simply too much. 

 

As to your question of whether or not kindled people take longer to heal, the answer is: who knows? Who even knows if you're kindled at all? There's no diagnostic test for kindling. Stabilization takes as long as it takes. But it does happen. Kindled or not.

 

In my situation, I believe I kindled myself by going on and off zoloft over a period of a few months, then reinstating at too high a dose. But I stabilized just fine. You will too. And then it won't matter.

 

Don't get caught up in labeling your situation or placing an arbitrary time limit on your recovery. Yes, your life has been changed for the time being. That's tough to accept. But it will improve and you will heal if you don't make any radical changes and give your brain a chance to catch up to the recent changes you've made. 

 

Think about this: if people didn't heal from AD withdrawal, why would this site even exist? The mods here are all volunteers, and some are going through their own tapers and/or recovery at this time. Why would they bother? 

 

Try to get through these early rough days as best you can. Use non-drug coping tools that work for you. There is a link for that on this site - unfortunately I'm on my phone right now and can't access it. Do a search and give it a read. There's some useful stuff on there. Above all, when your brain tries to lie to you (i.e., I'm stuck this way; I'll never recover), tell yourself the truth: This is temporary. It will pass.

 

Hang in there! I'm sure you'll see a window soon.

Thank you so much @Dejavu for giving me hope. I feel like I'm going to lose all of my friends because I just can't engage with people at the moment - even strangers. I look at everyone and feel like I'm in an alternative universe. Is that normal too? Things seem sort of grey. Do things gradually improve? You mentioned earlier that you saw improvement after three weeks and then a lot more improvement after 2 months 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

Link to post
9 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Understanding what is happening can help to reduce the fear:

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

SA strongly encourages members to learn and use non drug coping techniques.  Here are some links:

 

Non-drug techniques

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

"Change the channel"

 

Acceptance

 

  

 

@ChessieCat thank you very much for these resources. Are antidepressants and anti-psychotics very similar in terms of recovery etc? 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

Link to post
On 8/10/2020 at 6:22 PM, Nicjk said:

@ChessieCat thank you very much for these resources. Are antidepressants and anti-psychotics very similar in terms of recovery etc? 

Hi @ChessieCat, I am noticing a pattern each day now. I wake up and feel terrible and as the day goes on I start feeling a little bit better. Night time is probably my calmest time. This has happened for a week now. Is it a sign of stabilisation? Don't get me wrong - I still feel horrendous, but I do notice a pattern. 

Mid June 2019 to mid November 2019 - Escitalopram (Lexapro) 20mg (3 week taper - psych advise) 

Reinstated 2.5mg Lexapro 3rd Jan 2020 

Increased Lexapro dose to 5mg (0.06g) 11th Jan 2020 due to continual WD symptoms, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.05g 7th March 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.04g 7th April 2020, Decreased Lexapro dose to 0.03g 7th May 2020

Mid June 2019 to 14 Jul 2020 - Clonazepam 0.5mg 

Pericyazine (Neulactil) 20mg 24th Jun 2020 - 12th July, down to 15mg 13th July - 19th July, down to 10mg 20th July - 26th July, reinstated 15mg Pericyazine 27 July 2020 - Accidentally took 20mg for 2 nights 5 &6/8/20, CT Pericyazine 14th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Olanzapine) 

20mg Lexapro - 16th May 2020 - 9th Sept 2020 (Psych CT and replaced with Nortriptyline) 

10mg Diazepam - 5 Aug 2020, reduced over weeks to 7mg Tuesday 29 September, updosed to 8mg 2nd October 2020 (current) 

75mg Nortriptyline - 10 Sept 2020 - Current 

5mg Olanzapine - 15th Sept 2020 - 29 Sept 2020, reduced to 2.5mg on 30 Sept 2020, back up to 5.0mg on 5th Oct 2020. Reduced to 4.750 on 9 Nov 2020 (current) 

Supplements: Elevit (multivitamin) 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator
ChessieCat

If you are feeling any sort of improvement that is a good sign.

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Link to post

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