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Malbec37

Malbec37: Tapering off Mirtazapine and hit major WD HELP needed!!!

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Malbec37

@sunnysideup69thanks for checking in....I have to admit right now I'm really struggling....my mood is really low and I'm finding things tough, know I need to be positive but really not easy. Haven't slept much...getting through one day at a time. Middle of winter here in the UK which makes things harder too...still got the ringing in my ears but not as intense....I'm jus very up and down. Hoping my mood will stabilise soon on 13mg and I can have some consistency 

 

I am really trying to do all the right things 

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Malbec37

@Rhiannon@mikeyboy@sunnysideup69@Gridley@manymoretodaysand others....

 

I am now more than 2 weeks into the updose from 11 to 13mg and my WD symptoms are still ever present and seems to be changing from day to day...here is a very brief overview:

 

Day 1: insomnia, anxiety, tinnitus

Day 2: Better day, slept well

Day 3: insomnia, anxiety, tinnitus, poor concentration

Day 4: insomnia. better mood 

Day 5: insomnia, low mood, tinnitus

Day 6: Slept better, improved mood, tinnitus (update seems to be working)

Day 7: Decent sleep, even mood, still tinnitus

Day 8: Sleep OK, very low mood and high anxiety, tinnitus

Day 9: Sleep ok, improved mood, tinnitus

Day 10: Sleep good, even mood BUT tinnitus stronger than ever

Day 11: Sleep ok, low energy and strong tinnitus

Day 12: Poor sleep, high anxiety, high tinnitus and low mood

Day 13: Better sleep, lower tinnitus but good mood

Day 14: Good sleep, low energy, low mood, tinnitus more manageable 

Day 15: Insomnia, low mood and high anxiety, tinnitus manageable 

Day 16: insomnia, mood is OK, low anxiety, low tinnitus

 

Basically my symptoms are completely inconsistent...I started with insomnia which then got better and now I am back to insomnia again! Yesterday my anxiety levels were very high and today they are not...tinnitus goes up and down but has been ever present since I first reduced from 15 to 11 nearly 4 weeks ago...also one day I sleep really well and then wake with low energy and low mood and then the next day I have insomnia and wake with no anxiety and my mood is fine!!? Makes no sense

 

My question is is this normal? I have read lots of info and I am aware of the windows and waves of recovery so I think it probably is I'd just like to hear from others and get some reassurance.

 

The doses are all very precise at active ingredient of 13mg of mirtazapine 

 

If it continues to go on like this for weeks might it be an option to go back to 15mg which is the last dose at which I felt completely stable and had no WD symptoms? I don't want to increase again as I'm aware my system is hypersensitive and destabilised but wanted to know what people think?

 

God what a tough journey so far this has been but I am staying resilient and very grateful for the help here at SA

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sunnysideup69
42 minutes ago, Malbec37 said:

@Rhiannon@mikeyboy@sunnysideup69@Gridley@manymoretodaysand others....

Basically my symptoms are completely inconsistent...I started with insomnia which then got better and now I am back to insomnia again! Yesterday my anxiety levels were very high and today they are not...tinnitus goes up and down but has been ever present since I first reduced from 15 to 11 nearly 4 weeks ago...also one day I sleep really well and then wake with low energy and low mood and then the next day I have insomnia and wake with no anxiety and my mood is fine!!? Makes no sense

 

Bear in mind I'm not a moderator and have no dosing expertise, I'm just giving you my best guess at your questions.

 

To me, the inconsistency sounds normal. Symptoms do morph and change and flow into other symptoms and then cycle all over again. I'm a year and a half into my adventures with psychoactive drug reinstatement/WD and, although my sleep is gradually improving, I still get fluctuations. Some nights, straight through sleep, but for less hours. Some nights, more sleep but broken. Not thinking you will take as long to settle as I did, I also did some stupid things to cause this.

 

Yep also can relate, good sleep doesn't necessarily correlate with good mood the next day....bizarre, isn't it? 

42 minutes ago, Malbec37 said:

@Rhiannon@mikeyboy@sunnysideup69@Gridley@manymoretodays

 

My question is is this normal? I have read lots of info and I am aware of the windows and waves of recovery so I think it probably is I'd just like to hear from others and get some reassurance.

 

 

I would say, from my own experience, this is pretty normal and that two weeks is not very long, and remember it's only a month since you dropped from 15mg to 11mg. So in a month, you have gone from 15 to 11, then an updose to 13. Your nervous system is playing catch up, honestly, it's all sounding pretty normal to me. Ups and downs and fluctuations.

 

I've done really rash things in the past with these meds and so that's why I'm saying that I'd be inclined to give yourself a good long time to settle on 13mg now. You might wobble for a while, and you'd also likely wobble if you updosed again. It sounds as if you are panicking a bit that you won't settle, but you will- believe me, I empathise with that feeling.

 

Keep hanging in there and doing your self care, lots of self soothing and relaxation. Good diet. Sleep hygiene etc. This all sounds quite normal to me and it's also going to happen from time to time as you reduce...though hopefully, you will be cutting by such small amounts in the future that you will not really notice too many side effects.

 

Sending you good wishes :) 

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Malbec37

@sunnysideup69I'm so grateful for for reply! Yes I think I was panicking a bit and in my lows thinking is this ever going to end but I know I'm on a journey and I am strong and resilient...you have to be to go through WD symptoms. It is so strange that you can have a terrible night sleep and feeling great (today I have felt great all day and my mood very good) then the other night I slept for 8 hours straight and woke up feeling awful

 

Thanks for all the reassurance it's greatly appreciated...I feel better sometimes just from hearing from someone to reassure me and remind me that I have changed doses quite quickly and it's still early days

 

I'm hoping that tomorrow I will have another good day

 

Hoping all is well with you Sunnysideup!

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sunnysideup69
12 hours ago, Malbec37 said:

@sunnysideup69I'm so grateful for for reply! Yes I think I was panicking a bit and in my lows thinking is this ever going to end but I know I'm on a journey and I am strong and resilient...you have to be to go through WD symptoms. It is so strange that you can have a terrible night sleep and feeling great (today I have felt great all day and my mood very good) then the other night I slept for 8 hours straight and woke up feeling awful

 

Thanks for all the reassurance it's greatly appreciated...I feel better sometimes just from hearing from someone to reassure me and remind me that I have changed doses quite quickly and it's still early days

 

I'm hoping that tomorrow I will have another good day

 

Hoping all is well with you Sunnysideup!

 

Hey @Malbec37, you're most welcome. We're here to help one another out, I believe. I'm ok, have had a bit more anxiety over the last couple of days, but nothing like it was before. And a bit more obsessive style thinking. But the symptoms are getting less and less each time I go into a 'wave' or a dip. Very grateful for this :) 

 

WD takes a lot of courage, that's for sure and also a lot of faith. I'm not religious but I do have some kind of spiritual leanings and it is those that have kept me going.

I'm doing well. Mostly just fleeting moments of apathy, some eczema and WD spots and occasional dodgy sleep. Oh and some anxiety, which is minor compared to before. Overall, I'm stabilising quite well after an impulsive drug switch in August. I'm lucky, relatively speaking, that things are settling down from that within six months.

 

We'll come out of this stronger. Also hoping I'll come out of this less vain ;)

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Malbec37

Hi @sunnysideup69I'm glad your anxiety is better than it was and you are more stable...I'm really appreciating and grateful for your communication with me. As well as all the others here on SA who have helped me so far...It makes me feel so much less alone with what is a really tough process of withdrawal. I am discovering more and more each day and increasingly understanding the need to stabilise and take things slow - I had no idea it could be like this but I am more accepting now and up for the challenge of this journey...as you say we will come out stronger and this is a great outcome to all of this. 

 

This is a great resource I am finding very interesting and set up by a guy who is on here on SA and is trying to taper mirtazapine...really interesting podcasts and links: www.letstalkwithdrawal.com

 

Today I have had a second day of good even mood on 13mg so things do seem to be settling...I still have the tinnitus but it's bearable so I am just ignoring it. Hoping tomorrow for a third day of stability 

 

I agree on the spirituality...mindfulness practice has made a huge difference in my life in stabilising my depression and preventing more relapses (I have been depression free for 5 years now) and currently I am doing mantra meditation daily and also I practice a lot of yoga (I am a yoga teacher so this helps!) and also other energetic healing practices and also prayer...it all helps

 

Wishing you a good rest of your day

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Gridley
On 1/20/2020 at 3:16 AM, Malbec37 said:

My question is is this normal? I have read lots of info and I am aware of the windows and waves of recovery so I think it probably is I'd just like to hear from others and get some reassurance.

 

The doses are all very precise at active ingredient of 13mg of mirtazapine 

 

 

 

 

Yes, it is completely normal.  You have not stabilized yet, which accounts for the swings in symptoms.

 

If it continues to go on like this for weeks might it be an option to go back to 15mg which is the last dose at which I felt completely stable and had no WD symptoms? I don't want to increase again as I'm aware my system is hypersensitive and destabilised but wanted to know what people think?

 

That is not a good option.  As the saying goes, you can't step in the same river twice.  Due to the changes you've made in dosage, your CNS is not the same CNS as when you were at 15mg before.  You can't expect the same results as before.  Hold where you are and wait to stabilize.

 

 

Edited by Gridley

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