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delsol

Proof of Healing in Your Life (regardless of current withdrawal symptoms)

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delsol

So... While withdrawal may continue to dog me for quite some time (or maybe not... who knows?) ... In the meantime, what I'm finding helpful is recounting the ways my brain/body has healed from other things.  I will give a couple of examples here, and I hope this will inspire a discussion of how, even when withdrawal feels scary, there is proof that our brains/bodies are evolving toward a better place. Here goes:

 

1.) Ten years ago, I quit smoking. I thought my brain could "never" adapt to a life without nicotine. I thought I'd crave it forever, that I'd think about it forever, that there'd be this permanent hole in my life somehow. Well, at first I had to give it all I had: I lived and breathed my quit. My body hated me. My brain hated me. I got depressed and had a very hard time. But, as time went on, days became weeks became months became years, and now, I can safely say I just don't give cigs much thought at all anymore. My brain adapted to not having nicotine, and I learned new habits. So maybe the same is true of psych drugs. If I thought I'd "never" adapt to not having nicotine and I did, here is evidence that my doomsday thinking ("I'll 'never' recover from psych drugs) might just not be true.

 

2.) After a serious car accident in 2012, I never thought I'd be able to drive again, go to school again, listen to music again, etc., but I did. My brain healed. 

 

3.)  I had surgery for breast cancer in 2015. It was very hard, emotionally and physically. But my body healed and continues to fight off cancer, as I've not had a recurrence. This too is proof that the body can do amazing things.

 

Okay, other people chime in ...  Even if withdrawal is going terribly, what is some evidence that you have healed from other things? Go.

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mstimc

I was able to handle the death of both my parents (my mother in 2000 and may father in 2006), including being executor of their final will and trust, even while I was dealing with anxiety and withdrawal.  It helped me realize that no matter what my anxious brain was telling me, I could handle the reality of negative experiences.   There was a lot of strength in that realization.

 

Also, no matter how bad my anxiety or withdrawal symptoms were, I was able to be there for our son as he was growing up.  I made it to all his junior high and high school band concerts, did karate with him, and helped with his homeschool studies.  Despite the turmoil in my head, I was a good father.

Edited by mstimc

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delsol

That is a great story of resilience. One thing I keep hearing from people farther along in their process is that they are able to look back and see how much they learned about their own power.  Right now I admit, I'm not feeling too powerful, hence me starting this thread, in the hopes of at least reminding myself of my body's innate capacity to heal. I would find it difficult to do withdrawal while raising children or dealing with family deaths. Kudos to you.

 

I guess a lot of us feel like we'll be an exception or never get better. I admit I am falling into that line of thinking lately, and one of my coping skills is to try and help other people find their own evidence of healing. (I tend to be a "people person" when I'm well).  

14 hours ago, mstimc said:

It helped me realize that no matter what my anxious brain was telling me, I could handle the reality of negative experiences.   There was a lot of strength in that realization.

 

Thanks for your input -- I hope other people will post in this thread as well. 

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mstimc

Thanks, Delsol.  So much of anxiety is tied to the “what-ifs” I think we underestimate our ability to handle the reality of many stressful situations.  In my experience, nothing real has ever been as bad as what my anxiety and OCD conjured in my head.

 

Actaully, my first real window during WD came when I was watching our son play in junior high school jazz and.  Suddenly I was able to just be in the moment and enjoy watching him play.  It was such a blessing!

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Onmyway

Delsol, thank you for starting this thread. I've pondered the question quite a lot. I do hope that something positive will come out of this one day. 

 

I don't know if this will last post withdrawal, but I was recently talking to a friend and WD has put the amount of possible mental suffering into perspective for me. When I started taking these ADs, I did not even imagine this level of misery was possible and endurable. I wish I had endured it until it went away as it usually does with situational anxiety and as it had done before that time. I wish I had gotten CBT for to manage the level that I thought I was unbearable, which now seems like it wasn't that much compared to the depths of misery I've felt in WD. 

 

As mentioned by Tim, these depths also allow the ability to realize that it is possible to endure more than you think you can. At least so far I have been able to endure. I'm waiting for the straw that will break the camel's back and I so hope, with all my heart, that the back stays unbroken. I have at least 2 more years of this before I jump off at the rate I'm going. 

 

 

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pinciukas

1. Quit smoking 5 years ago after i smoked 1 pack a day. Was damn hard and I thought i can’t live without cigarettes.

2. Quit alcohol i drank a lot with help of AA i recovering 10 years clean.

3 Quit gambling i am gambler I gambled everything away my wife, family, house, car, job i made debts everywhere I landed on the street. Now i am recovering still 1 year left to pay my debts but i have amazing girlfriend, good job and i am clean and not gambling the recovery road was hard and bumpy but i made it. 

We can do everything or at least try to do!

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delsol

It looks like lots of us have endured and even recovered from quite a bit of stuff.

On 1/21/2020 at 7:22 AM, pinciukas said:

1. Quit smoking 5 years ago after i smoked 1 pack a day. Was damn hard and I thought i can’t live without cigarettes.

2. Quit alcohol i drank a lot with help of AA i recovering 10 years clean.

3 Quit gambling i am gambler I gambled everything away my wife, family, house, car, job i made debts everywhere I landed on the street. Now i am recovering still 1 year left to pay my debts but i have amazing girlfriend, good job and i am clean and not gambling the recovery road was hard and bumpy but i made it. 

We can do everything or at least try to do!

 

We are not just in withdrawal, we are in recovery. I think the recovery-from-addiction community can teach us a lot about what the body/mind/spirit are capable of. It seems a lot of people here have dealt with both addiction and withdrawal. 

On 1/20/2020 at 8:53 PM, Onmyway said:

As mentioned by Tim, these depths also allow the ability to realize that it is possible to endure more than you think you can.

 

Yes I indeed hope so. I am trying so very hard to practice acceptance. It's not been easy. I read a lot of success stories to keep myself afloat. And there are other success stories besides just withdrawal ones. I'm trying daily to find small shreds of proof that I can do this, because I've survived other hardships.

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IWantToHeal

I thought I'd never get off weed after smoking it everyday for 15 years. It was a crutch and I couldn't imagine my life without being constantly stoned. I needed it to eat, needed it to sleep and wouldn't entertain the idea of doing anything without smoking beforehand. When I was waiting to get more I would pretty much just stare at walls or stare at my phone waiting for a reply from the dealer.

 

Now I'm 3 months off it and I do still think about it on occasions but my brain seems to have adjusted to it's absence after a period of insomnia, irritability and night terrors / sweats.

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