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blanketsareawesome: Weaning off Pristiq. Beginning of PSSD?


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blanketsareawesome

@Altostrata Okay. I will check that out. Thank you so much.

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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Hi blankets, and welcome aboard, I'm just quoting my adapted first response, so this is current.  And will get your second post moved here as well, in a moment. What are you presently taking

Hi blankets, A wave perhaps?  They will come and go.  So music helps you regulate a bit?  Shep put together this, and I encourage you to take a look: Music therapy/music for wellness a

I feel exactly like you!

blanketsareawesome
1 hour ago, Snorky said:

I can relate to the anhedonia type symptoms. (V much at forefront of my probs at moment) I’m also intrigued by your ref to “head pressures”. My equivalent is like a 24/7 sensation, sometime numb feeling, sometime pressure. This causes insomnia, inability to communicate, understand, enjoy etc.  How does your type manifest?

 

Hi Snorky,

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are dealing with it as well. It's my biggest problem as well and am having trouble shaking it. It is very distressing.  I have been having windows where I feel myself and the head pressure almost completely goes away. I can laugh, feel more sentimental, communicate with people and joke around.  I feel witty and can actually read. I find more interest in music and shows that I like. I feel like I'm on top of the world.  Sometimes, I will have partial windows where some parts of me come back and then other times where they don't and another piece of my comes back. However, much of this month has been the anhedonia. I, like yourself,  have trouble communicating with people. I almost feel like a dumbed down version of myself. I also don't enjoy things like I normally do or want to talk to my friends or family. Emotionally, I feel very limited (I've always been highly emotional and sympathetic). I just feel indifferent. Accompanying these feelings are intense pressure feeling on the top of my head, the back of my head and temples. Sometimes my forehead will feel numb and I will feel pressure in my nose as well. I also get intense headaches. I get angry very easily, which has never been me. I've always been very meek and chill, but when that head pressure comes, I want to break things.


I just recently started sleeping. The past week I have gotten no less than 7 hours nearly every night, besides one. Knock on wood this stays. I hope you start being able to sleep soon! I'm sure you will get there. I've been trying to do puzzles and brain games like Elevate on my phone to distract me. Plus, I think it works the brain a bit. I am trying to do things I normally like everyday, even though it feels like torture.

 

I found this website called https://www.anhedoniasupport.com/fp/ and if you sign up for email, you are sent exercises to do. One I was doing almost everyday, that seemed to help a bit, was to write down, everyday, small things that you normally enjoy when you feel yourself. I also make myself draw a picture everyday and write what I'm grateful for. I'm not sure if it works but it makes you feel like you are doing something about it besides waiting. That's been one of the hardest parts, because you want some magic fix for it to go away, but I think it will just take time, however it feels nice to feel like you are doing something (without trying new medications and supplements, which have only ever set me back). Alto made a good point earlier, she said to notice when you feel good or even if you take a slight interest in something and work that muscle. I'm going to try to do that going forward, because every time I feel good or think something is interesting, I end up focusing on what I'm lacking. But I think everything heals a little at a time and then goes away for a bit to heal a little more. I am trying to be more positive and not panic, because from looking at my thread, you can probably see that's what I have been doing. But panicking isn't helping me, so I'm just going to try to ride it out for the time being and accept it.

 

So I'm trying to do things that are in my control at the moment. I've been researching foods for brain health and trying to eat those. Trying to stick to Organic foods and not a lot of processed stuff. I try to walk at least 3 miles a day and get outside.

 

I so desperately want myself back. I miss her. If anything, this experience has taught me to love who I am more. I always destroyed her, until I lost her. I think she's there somewhere and I think you will get yourself back. I'm praying for you and hope for you to have a speedy recovery as well.

 

How have you been doing? Does anything seem to help you?

 

Blankets

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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Hi B

 

Many thanks for v helpful response. It’s all in my blog if you get a chance to read.

 

Head pressure- had mind for months. Was initially bearable, now much more difficult to cope with. I can’t prove it, but I think I’m only getting about two hours sleep per night. 

 

Depression/anhedonia-thing I get these confused. There is the low mood, which doesn’t change whatever distraction I try. I can’t do the v things that might elevate my mood, increase enjoyment etc. This long list includes podcasts, YouTube, exercise etc. My anguish is also increasing as I’m not well enough to work. However, If I take time off, I’ll deteriorate more quickly being on my own all day😡😡

 

My employer is paying for 121 therapy sessions to promote positive thinking, wellbeing. Involves:

 

Meditation

Muscle relaxation exercises 

Breathing exercises

Activities to reinforce positive thinking (forcing me to try the stuff I currently can’t do)

 

V early days.

 

Cymbalta 2007

Lyrica 2010

Venlafaxine 2010-2018

Amitriptyline October 2018-2019. (25, 50, 75, 100, 75, 50, 25)

CT 10 Sept 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 5 mg 29 Oct 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 2.5mg 19 Nov 2019

CT 24  Nov 2019

Vitamin D 16 Dec and Promethazine 25mg 16 Dec (one month only)

 

 

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Hi again

 

Looked again at that anhedonia programme. All sorts of caveats about people with depression, frig induced anhedonia etc. Also, couldn’t find a way to just register for email, without signing up for the whole programme?

 

 

 

Cymbalta 2007

Lyrica 2010

Venlafaxine 2010-2018

Amitriptyline October 2018-2019. (25, 50, 75, 100, 75, 50, 25)

CT 10 Sept 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 5 mg 29 Oct 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 2.5mg 19 Nov 2019

CT 24  Nov 2019

Vitamin D 16 Dec and Promethazine 25mg 16 Dec (one month only)

 

 

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On 3/6/2020 at 12:56 AM, Altostrata said:

Many people here suffer from emotional anesthesia. It's both an adverse effect of psychiatric drugs and can be a withdrawal symptom. It will gradually go away. You can help it by exercising your enjoyment muscle to the best you can -- acknowledge it when you encounter something you like, even a little.

 

Please read other topics in the Introductions forum to see how others are coping, and see discussions in Symptoms and Self-Care about symptoms such as emotional anesthesia.

Just noticed this B.

 

Despite best endeavours, I’ve not been able to do anything to exercise my “enjoyment muscle”. 

 

Cymbalta 2007

Lyrica 2010

Venlafaxine 2010-2018

Amitriptyline October 2018-2019. (25, 50, 75, 100, 75, 50, 25)

CT 10 Sept 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 5 mg 29 Oct 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 2.5mg 19 Nov 2019

CT 24  Nov 2019

Vitamin D 16 Dec and Promethazine 25mg 16 Dec (one month only)

 

 

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blanketsareawesome

Do not read this if you don't want to feel down or discouraged. I am just feeling bad rn.

 

I have had a great week when it comes to sleep. I have slept 7 hours almost every night and a minimum of 5 hours. Last night I got 5 split up. However, in every other department things have been bad again. I feel very anhedonic, have head fog and pressure, headaches and apathetic. I now have a headache that I can feel in my teeth. Weird.  I have  had tons of windows since this has happened and had very brief, very mild ones Monday and Wednesday, however I seem to be off the normal pattern. I'm always nervous that I've done something to make it worse. I convinced myself that I had missed a dose on Tuesday, even though I'm pretty positive I took it. Still haven't started my period, so I've seemed to miss this month so far. Even if for some reason I missed a dose on Tuesday, would I ever be able to stabilize from it at this point? I'm still not even positive I took the double dose almost 2 weeks ago. I've not taken a pristiq since January 11 and the alcohol was January 30th.

 

My parents want me to go to an inpatient facility and to get on medication. They think I have depression, but I didn't feel this way until I drank. I definitely display depressive symptoms, I don't care about anything and am not interested in things. I just had to resign from my job. I've expressed that sometimes I get suicidal thoughts. They don't get it and I understand. I'm trying to stay strong and avoid medication, but sometimes I feel so desperate.

 

I just want to be me again. I'd feel more encouraged if I had another window soon, just so I know that I didn't royally screw anything up the past few days.

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

@Snorky https://www.anhedoniasupport.com/


There should be a button where you put your name and email.

 

Here's the link. I mostly just use the first exercise. Writing things you normally like.

I'm sorry that you are struggling. It's a horrible feeling. We can come out on the other side of this! It's hard to be positive, I know. Most days I want to crawl in a hole, but I know that will only make things worse.

 

Blankets

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

@manymoretodays  I had a lot of big windows last week. Now they are smaller and less frequent. However, I'm sleeping better than I have in weeks. My wave seems to be pretty severe this time. I have intense brain fog and anhedonia. My memory and ability to comprehend is bad.  Is it normal to have this pattern where things are great for a week and then go bad again? As bad as the beginning?

I felt extreme nausea and anxiety the following day after "the pan incident," so I don't know if any of that could have affected me at all. I don't believe I missed a dose, I had one pill left in my bottle. I grabbed it and positive I took it. I did feel nauseous and anxious that day but it was the same day after "the pan incident." If I missed a dose, will this adversely affect me for good? If I missed it, it didn't seem to affect my sleep and I had a small window the next day in the morning when I woke up until the afternoon.

 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays
Posted (edited)

Oh blankets,

It's tough with the brain fog, isn't it?

And yes, I think with WDsyndrome, it is normal to have patterns like you describe.

And no, IF you missed a dose, it won't adversely affect you for good, or forever.

 

And links!  B)  They might help, for you to feel encouraged!

 

Are we There Yet?How long is withdrawal going to take?

 

Withdrawal dialogues and encouragement

^ cute animated one on acceptance might help

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Edited by manymoretodays
added videos

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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blanketsareawesome

Started my period! This is good news. Getting close to a normal cycle. 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

Emotionally, I have been more calm day. I’m not overly sad or angry. Mood wise I’m calm. However,  I do feel way more apathetic, anhedonic and disconnected than I have in a while. My head pressure is as bad as it was at the beginning of the month. Really intense. I wonder if these symptoms have to do with my menstrual cycle. I don’t know if they ramp up during this time. Not sure. Anyone else have anhedonia ramp up during certain points in cycle?

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

I must have done something. I must have skipped a pill Tuesday, because I feel the worst I have felt since this all happened. I thought things were getting better but they aren’t. I feel like my heads going to explode. I don’t feel connections with people or empathy. I feel basically asexual. Don’t even find guys attractive. These things were all improving last week. Don’t care about shows or music, things that could distract me while I go through this but I can’t even have that. Wednesday was a good day, but that was the last one I have had. I’m sorry but I have to be done. I wish I could have held on but I can’t. 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

I’m sorry I’m fine. Was having a panic attack and had to calm down.

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

Now you can Breath dear, and remember that you survived.

 

Next time if it happens again, remember "already been there, done that, survived".

And always remember the good times, because they always come back.

 

Take care ❤

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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blanketsareawesome

Thank you @Erell. It means so much to me to have the support of the people like you on this site. this is a condition that is hard to explain to others, so it's nice to know there are people to talk to. ❤️

 You are so kind.

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

I just need lots of reassurance right now. Accidentally taking two Wellbutrin couldn’t have left me this way long term? It’s been almost two weeks since that happened and I had more windows the week after that but I can’t be sure if they are due to the extra Wellbutrin. This last week I have not had any windows and I was having at least one a week previously and i seem to be getting worse :( my baseline has not moved much at all. I honestly had more windows the first week after drinking the alcohol than I do now. 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

Back to two hours of sleep a night. 
also false alarm on the period. Started for a day then stopped. 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

Could missing that one Wellbutrin, which I don’t think I missed, have caused withdrawal and show up a week later? I am way worse than ever before. Will this clear up? 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

@Altostrata.  @manymoretodays
My parents are convinced it’s my thyroid and are mad that I don’t want to drink the dye. I just can’t and they don’t believe me. They are taking me to the stress center to be monitored, because I’ve expressed suicidal thoughts. I understand their fear. I hope they don’t try to put me on medicine. my parents are about to force me.

 

is there a medication that I could get on at this point if they force me? Or increase my Wellbutrin? Or will I absolutely be thrown off if I get on something? I keep telling them it will make me worse but they don’t believe me.

 

they want me to do TMS or ECT, because they said we can’t do nothing, but I told them waiting is important. 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
  • Moderator
manymoretodays
Posted (edited)

Oh blankets,

I don't want to get between you and your parents.   It does sound like they are very concerned for you, as well as somehow hoping for a quick fix. 

Sometimes, convincing others of our choices, is like banging ones head against a wall.

3 hours ago, blanketsareawesome said:

they want me to do TMS or ECT, because they said we can’t do nothing, but I told them waiting is important. 

Good for you!

 

I take it you are of the age now, to be working with your doctors now?  And asking your own questions of them, before agreeing to any treatments?  Are you in your mid 20's now?  That can be a tough enough age, and I'm sorry that your parents are not more supportive. 

 

And I don't know why your parents are convinced it is your thyroid?  Are you having symptoms of an underactive or overactive thyroid?  I'm no doctor, just a peer here, and I wouldn't want you to miss any medical conditions.  Of course TMS or ECT is not going to help with any thyroid problems either. 

 

It does sound like this might be a bit of a family drama issue, and I have no expertise in that area.  Or you and your parents may just have different truths around some things.  Of course, if you are frequently going to them in distress........they may just be doing what they think is best, and they probably so hate to see you struggle.

I want you to begin to become your own best care, go to, person.  I mean we all need others, I don't want you to isolate, just to be moving towards empowerment in yourself.

How are the non-drug coping practices coming?

 

And then.......perhaps it's the Wellbutrin.  The Wellbutrin, and your WD symptoms from your previous medications.  I want you to take a further look, at the Wellbutrin topic:

Tips for tapering off Wellbutrin(buproprion)

Read it all really well this time,  the first post especially, attention to the part about adverse effects, and then even Alto's own experience with it, it is in parentheses, further down

 

As I stated before, my best guess is that, you, did indeed experience WD when you came off the Zoloft and Buspirone.  As it wasn't immediate......but delayed a few months later, you then got retreated for some condition, rather than recognized as going through WD then.   And so, I feel that yes, you are still in WD from those medications.  And am thankful, you are not on a higher dose of the Wellbutrin now.  You are just biding a bit more time, before beginning a Wellbutrin taper , is my understanding.  If it was me, I would sure be wary of any higher doses, or yet another AD, now.

 

Are there other people in your support system, online, or on the ground?  You might consider altering your behaviors and disclosures to your parents a bit, to keep the peace, at present.  Sometimes with others, who I very much needed for support during my early WD days, I had to reframe what I was dealing with, and would call it.......nervous system dysregulation,  autonomic nervous system dysregulation,  or Adverse Drug Reactions, or that I had Health Related Issues.  I'd just pick one term and use it.  They'd usually be satisfied, and then I could tell them what I needed help with.   I could not get many to understand that I was dealing with WD per se.  Especially some of my family members.   It's hard enough to just ask for help, when needed.......never mind to explain the whole WD thing to people.......it get's frustrating for many of us here.  I'm sure you've found some other members that you can relate to on this.

 

This may help as well:

Helping family understand

try and read through the whole thread, so hoping that might help your situation at home now, and help you gain strength from other members coping with similar issues too.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Edited by manymoretodays
a few shifts of ideas, clarity, spacing

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

Thank you MMT, @manymoretodays

 

ive spoke with them. They are trying to be supportive. I told them I’m old enough to make that decision. I’m living with them so it’s tricky. I’ll try to keep my emotions and everything a little more under wraps for the time being. They think it’s thyroid, because my uncle had thyroid issues at my age and was depressed. It’s tough when everyone just keeps telling you you are depressed and I’m like “no I’m becoming depressed because I feel this way.” I will try to reach out more to other members who understand. Thank you.


Yeah I definitley have the sleep issues. When I had “recovered” last time I was sleeping super well again, And before this all happened, so I’m not sure if it’s the Wellbutrin or not. It definitely made me more jittery when I was on it. I’ll give it some time and eventually come off of it. 

 

In good news, I definitely took my pill last Tuesday, March 3rd. I thought I had missed it. Checked My nightstand to make sure it wasn’t still sitting there. Yay! 
 

I don’t know the reason for this current wave. Had amazing window the 23rd felt 95 percent myself (could listen to music, joke around, attracted to guys) . I possibly took the extra dose on February 24th, had rough days as far as anhedonia the 25th and 26th (but slept decent.). Great days mentally 27th and 28th, felt almost completely myself. 29th, 30th (awful sleep though.)  31st slowly went downhill (slept well) Felt less and less. But still better baseline than I had been.  March 1st  was pretty good (didn’t sleep) The second felt awful and nauseous. High anxiety. March 3rd had a window for a couple of hours (slept well most of the week)   Haven’t had much of a window since. Slept almost 7 hours almost everyday this week. So I’m grateful I had that at least. Last two nights, however, have only slept 2-3 hours. 
it’s been 8 days and no sign of a window yet. I am definitely grateful I’ve had windows, but im

hoping for one soon, because I’m afraid the Wellbutrin messed something up, so I guess having a window, even small would make me feel more reassured atm. Gonna try to accept it. I’m lucky that I have nowhere i have to be and nothing I have to do for a while. Puts some pressure off trying to force myself to feel better. 
it’s like my waves are getting longer but so are my windows. First wave was 8 days, the next one was like 11, this one is 8 so far. 
 

the acceptance video has helped a lot. I’m trying to come to terms with the uncertainty of it all. I am starting therapy and gonna make it a goal to walk at least 3 miles a day and not get worked up when I have trouble sleeping.

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

Waves typically come out of the blue.

 

If you're over 18, you can refuse any drug as long as you haven't been committed to a psychiatric ward. Your parents cannot make you take a drug. You will have to work on changing some aspects of your relationship with them.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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blanketsareawesome

Was hospitalized for being suicidal. They told me that I wouldn’t get better without meds. Have been told I was delusional and that needed them. I caved. 
 

Friday upped Wellbutrin to 150 mg ER.  I was wired and anxious. Didn’t sleep the entire night. They gave me hydroxizine and trazadone at the lowest doses. They did nothing. Time moved slowly. 
Saturday felt completely wired and anxious. Had tremors all day. Felt blunted. Droppped dose back down to 75 mg. They cleared up in the evening. Felt better. Felt more myself and cried during a movie. Slept 5 hours. They gave me buspar and hydroxizine before bed. 
 

Sunday felt amazing. Better than I’ve felt in a month. Took Buspar and Wellbutrin in morning. Felt good the whole day. Felt every emotion possible. It was amazing.

 

monday started to feel more blunted and out of it. 
Tuesday still feel blunted but better than Monday. 
 

@manymoretodays @Altostratai know I don’t deserve your help at this point. But I don’t know what to do. I’ve stopped all the meds except for the 75 mg Wellbutrin. I feel like such an idiot and like I’ve lost all my progress. I’m heartbroken that I caved. My doctors kept telling me not to listen to people on the internet and that they didn’t go to Harvard for no reason. 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

I was taken to a stress center. They didn’t force me. I was just too weak to not give in to their ideas of me being paranoid.

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
  • Moderator
manymoretodays

Hi blankets,

That sounds really tough.  And I'm so sorry blankets.  Especially when you are just getting labeled and misunderstood.  I'm hoping at least, at the very least you got some respite from home, and comfort.  Or are getting that now.

 

15 hours ago, blanketsareawesome said:

Was hospitalized for being suicidal. They told me that I wouldn’t get better without meds. Have been told I was delusional and that needed them. I caved. 
 

Friday upped Wellbutrin to 150 mg ER.  I was wired and anxious. Didn’t sleep the entire night. They gave me hydroxizine and trazadone at the lowest doses. They did nothing. Time moved slowly. 
Saturday felt completely wired and anxious. Had tremors all day. Felt blunted. Droppped dose back down to 75 mg. They cleared up in the evening. Felt better. Felt more myself and cried during a movie. Slept 5 hours. They gave me buspar and hydroxizine before bed. 
 

Sunday felt amazing. Better than I’ve felt in a month. Took Buspar and Wellbutrin in morning. Felt good the whole day. Felt every emotion possible. It was amazing.

 

monday started to feel more blunted and out of it. 
Tuesday still feel blunted but better than Monday. 
 

@manymoretodays @Altostratai know I don’t deserve your help at this point. But I don’t know what to do. I’ve stopped all the meds except for the 75 mg Wellbutrin. I feel like such an idiot and like I’ve lost all my progress. I’m heartbroken that I caved. My doctors kept telling me not to listen to people on the internet and that they didn’t go to Harvard for no reason. 

 

Are you back home now, with your parents?  Or still in hospital?

Of course, you will feel a few bumps and waves after some of the different meds.  And it looks like you are now, back where you started, with the 75 mg Wellbutrin.

Excellent, that you remember what all they gave you to take. And the outcomes, after each medication or medication combination.

 

And of course, I can't supercede any medical advice or mandates that you are under right now.  And you did not do anything to not deserve our help!    I think if you can maintain on the 75 mg Wellbutrin now, and work things out with your family.......that would be ideal, or great.  I don't really know how that will go.  It does sounds really tough. 

 

Please keep us updated blankets, as you can.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

@manymoretodays

i am with my family now. it’s hard because I still don’t feel understood. I thought I was numb before, but now I have trouble even crying and when I do it doesn’t feel right. I can’t even distract myself with a game on my phone bc it’s not fun anymore. I’m as bad as I was with the serotonin syndrome as far as mental symptoms. The pressure and pain feels thicker this time. I can’t even think. 
 

I am being told I have possible hyperthyroid which could be the cause of my weight loss and insomnia. They said it could explain my mental symptoms. I still believe it was withdrawal but I don’t know what to do anymore. 
 

it took a month and a half to just get halfway there. Now, who know how long it will take, especially because I had 4 drug changes.  I’ve likely kindled myself. 
 

 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

Update: feel slightly better this morning. Still foggier And bleh then before but much better than yesterday. Yesterday was the first day without the buspar. I think I got a decent amount of sleep last night. 

They think I have hyperthyroid. They said it explains why medications get to me. I metabolize them too quickly and get a shot of it to my brain and then it goes quickly. So it’s not continuous and my brain is confused causing the issues I’ve been having. Explains the extreme weight loss despite the fact that I’m eating and not gaining weight

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

So I had an adverse reaction to the updose of bupropion. I felt foggier, I had tremors, 15 minutes felt like 3 hours. My skin and tongue burned. However 2 days later I had the best day I’ve had in a month? If I was kindled, would I have had a good day two days later On Sunday? @manymoretodays 

Monday and Tuesday things slowly got worse. Also Wednesday. But today is much better. Probably about where I was last week. 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
  • Moderator
manymoretodays

Hi blankets,

Have you had lab work done regarding your thyroid function?  T3 or T4 testing? 

 

Who is they?  And hoping they are not just basing this on symptoms alone.  Withdrawal can and does mimic so many other things.  And as you know, can come in waves and windows, is often protracted as well, taking months to years for full recovery.  However, it doesn't mean a lifetime sentence of illness either. 

You might take some time off the internet even, and over-searching for medical diagnoses, and then conclusions based on anything other than protracted WDsyndrome.  I'm guessing your family means well, and may even feel some guilt or shame, on getting you started on these chemicals in the first place.  It happens......to so many.......myself included, as I jumped on the bandwagon of believers, in this "new care, medicalization of common reactions to life".  A pill for every ill.

 

And was it just the one updose with your Wellbutrin?

You have good days.....and so that's good.  Windows, yay!

 

You've had 10 years of medication/drugs.......and as you know, you have a dysregulated nervous system now. 

You could have had some kindling, sure:

"In an attempt to put the kindling phenomenon in layman’s terms, it is as if the nervous system has a “memory” of the withdrawal(s) and/or damage from a substance like benzodiazepines. Even when someone with a history of withdrawal(s) and/or damage seemingly recovers from the initial withdrawal(s) and/or damage, this “memory” of prior withdrawal(s) and/or damage still remains “imprinted” within the nervous system and subsequent withdrawals and/or damage are worse because the nervous system “recalls” that it has been sensitized/damaged in prior withdrawal(s)." http://w-bad.org/kindling/

This article talks about benzo's and alcohol, yet can be crossed over to any substance really.......keeping in mind the different receptors involved, with some of the different drugs.

 

So what are you taking now?  The drug and symptom notes would help.  Time on the left.  All drugs, supplements, over the counter stuff, names and dosages, symptoms as they occur throughout the day, and sleep on the right.

 

Could you update your signature as well, with the recent changes hereAccountSettings/signature

 

I think you need a period of stabilization for sure, without any new additions.  And possibly a period of acceptance, and even a beginning belief that you can get through this......with time, and patience.   Proper testing, or lab work, and good information from medical professionals, around things like possibilities of hyperthyroidism.......and hope and comfort.

 

You started this stuff when young, and I think you have every chance of a full recovery.  It takes time though.  Just compare yourself with yourself now, and look for any improvements in coping with life in general.  And rolling a bit, with your present situation(s).

 

I know it was harsh last fall, but that was last fall.  I think if you can start to take charge a bit now, it will serve you real well in the future.  Hopefully, without cutting off your family ties.

 

What are you up to, on a day to day basis? 

Best blankets,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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blanketsareawesome

@manymoretodays hey sorry I will respond to your full post in a moment. I took my Wellbutrin this morening and puked forty minutes later. Is it absorbed at that point? Do I take another? 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays

It may have partially absorbed in 40 minutes time.  If you didn't see any particles or pieces in it........I think if I were you, I would just wait until your next dose is due, tomorrow.

Pretty close to an hour to absorb most of it, so you are probably okay.

 

Are you okay?  Coming down with something?  Had you eaten yet?

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

@manymoretodays I didn't look to close but I didn't see anything in it. I only thought about it after I got sick.  I ate shortly before I took my medicine and none of that came up. It was only some bile and parts of the snack I just ate. I don't think I'm getting sick, I think I just over ate. I sometimes just get nauseous randomly as well.


It was only one updose of the wellbutrin. They gave me 150 XR. I immediately requested that I be lowered to my original dose the next day.  I had effects for the next two days. Then the 3rd day I had an amazing day.

 

My endocronologist told me. I just got T3 and T4 testing and they are supposed to come back within 2 weeks. I had a thyroid test that said that it looks like my thyroid is overactive.

 

I am currently only taking the wellbutrin 75 mg in the morning. Do you think that is causing me more problems? Since its such a short half life?

 

My parents took me to the endocrinologist. She told me not to take any more medications. I wish I would have went last week and maybe this situation could have been prevented and my parents wouldn't have been so adamant about meds and I wouldn't have felt so much pressure. Could have given me some time, because it will be two weeks before i hear back from the endo. I was starting to improve in a lot of areas looking back. Having a window once a week at least, but I was impatient. Even the day I took it, I felt pretty good. I don't know what I was thinking. I probably would be a lot better by now if I stuck to my guns.

 

Last night: slept 6-7 hours on and off. Slept 3 hours, took 3mg Melatonin, fell asleep again on and off. Felt tingling all over my body and face.

 

7:00 am Got out of bed. Felt a little bit better. Could actually laugh at some videos. Head pressure is not as bad.

8:30 am ate food. In better spirits. Watched some tv.

9:10 am Took my wellbutrin 75 mg.

9:50 Got sick after overeating snacks.

11:00 anxious, but likely because I was worried about possibly puking up dose.

 

 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

@manymoretodays how much of a set back do you think I’m looking at? Do you think it could be months after that? 
 

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

Positives: I met some amazing people at the inpatient unit. People that I feel I could be friends with for a long time. I had a partial window today (nearly cried reading a card someone gave me, had a desire to do something, felt slight interest in watching the tv)

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
blanketsareawesome

I mean it took me 7 weeks to get nearly stabilized. I can’t imagine how long this will take. I am so sorry you guys have tried to help me and I messed up so badly. It’s all on me

 

Things have returned to about how they were before I polydrugged myself. Should I be expecting a fallout anytime soon or do you think my body stabilized to my baseline before? @Altostrata

 

the last buspar I had was 2 days ago

 

 

 

12:00 felt pressure in sides of head. Felt more motivated.

2:00 felt pressure move from sides of head to top middle. 
3:00 tingling all over body and in for head.

-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

We need to see 24 hours of daily notes over at least several days before we can answer your questions about drug effects.

 

If you tell your parents or a doctor that you're suicidal, most likely they will give you drugs. If you continue to ask psychiatrists for help, you will get more drugs, especially if they went to Harvard. That is how they solve problems.

 

Be sure you are prepared to surrender to drug treatment if you say you are suicidal. Don't just say it because you feel awful.

 

It is possible you are hyperthyroid and this is causing your symptoms. You need to rely on the endocrinologist for diagnosis and treatment for that, not psychiatrists.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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