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blanketsareawesome: Weaning off Pristiq. Beginning of PSSD?

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brassmonkey

It's quite possible for someone who is sensitized by ADWD to be affected by Ginger and Cinnamon. Ginger is known to be sedative and a hypnotic while Cinnamon is known to be a sedative and a hallucinogen.  Used in large quantities and frequently cinnamon is also addictive.


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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blanketsareawesome

@brassmonkey thanks. I will stay away from it. I mean I’ve never had an issue with either Cinnamon or ginger in food through this whole thing. Honestly I haven’t had many food sensitivities. I guess it was all concentrated in the tea though. I also had golden milk tea with no problem. It’s odd. My baseline was so much better this past week and now it’s worse. Physical anhedonia had improved a lot. Could just be a wave. It was a Good 5 hours after that I felt this way so I don’t know if that was it


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

@brassmonkey someone said they were permanently destabilized by ginger, another said cinnamon on pssd forum. Is that possible??


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

I am having trouble coping. I’m not cut out for this. I feel awful. I had a pretty decent partial window but feeling so discouraged that I can be thrown out of it by something so simple as tea. I felt so good yesterday, because I felt calm and happy in my bed. It wasn’t perfect but I wasn’t restless.  I didn’t have dreams tonight and I have been every night. I’m scared this means the ginger or cinnamon did something to me. I feel very depersonalize day right now. I’m crawling out of my skin. I think I need to be medicated or I’m going to hurt myself. Is there nothing I can take to ease this? 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

Like is there something I can stabilize on? Am I experiencing withdrawal from the medications I took three weeks ago?? Because my sleep is the worst it has been since this started. Before I’d wake up but I wasn’t so restless and I could usually fall asleep. 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

April 2 

7 felt amazing. Only slept 2-3 hours night before. Things looked beautiful but exciting

8 felt really good. Kept having memory flashbacks. But good ones. Actually wanted some things and to travel. Felt very cozy in my bed. Found people attractive.

9 felt decent. Took 75 mg wellbutrin. Walked two miles. 

10  felt pretty good. Had an interest in reading up on stuff. Haven’t had that in a while. Felt connected to surrounding
11 felt emotional. Cried.

12 drank lemongrass tea with ginger and cinnamon. 
1 felt calm. 

2 felt more anhedonic. Pressure moves from sides of head to top middle and forehead. 

3 head pressure beginning to get worse

4 head pressure getting worse.

5 weird ache at top of spine when I try to think

6 feel less connected with surroundings

7 anhedonia. tried to watch tv but people looked alien and it freaked me out. 

8-10 anhedonia and disconnect. Ancious. Body begins to ache. Tingling in hands
10 took melatonin 3 mg. fell asleep

2-4 woke up. Felt anxious and restless 
5 fell asleep

8 woke up feeling out of it. So 7 hours total sleep.  Head pressure. Tingling in hands. Body aches. Anxious. Bloating. 

9 take half of 75 mg Wellbutrin. Feel calmer.  
10 take other half. Feel almost high. Still anhedonic but feel more emotional connection with others. Thinking of others a bit. 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

Also I “started” my period yesterday. Barely bled once and haven’t since. So maybe that is contributing to my symptoms as well. 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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manymoretodays
Posted (edited)

Hi blankets,

And so hard to know, which comes first, the chicken or the egg.  Could be that the drug(s) contributed to your cycles or period even.

And yay, on you possibly starting to split your 75 mg dose of Wellbutrin, into 2 doses.  We talked about that a bit before.  Get a really good feel for the drug that you are currently taking, or that's what I would do, if I was in your shoes now.  The tapering link is great.

And oh look, you already did it, today? 

Did you use a pill splitter?

You might, in future notes, note the dosage, rather than 1/2 of a 75 mg tablet/pill.

 

Looks like you had a pretty good day, overall.  Varying emotions, as is pretty normal, overall.

 

Nice blanket avatar now too!

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

You are stabilizing now, on your Wellbutrin 75 mg per day.  Looks that way to me.

 

 

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
final comment

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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blanketsareawesome

@manymoretodays I used a pill cutter and split it in half. Would you advise me just staying put for a while if I’m stabilizing on this dose? 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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Altostrata

More likely your period rather than ginger or cinnamon brought on a wave. You might find surfing waves to be easier if you be more Zen about changes. Waves come and go. Focus on the surfing, not the wave.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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blanketsareawesome

Thank you Alto.  @Altostrata 

could I slowly build up by adding an hour on each week? Would that be better for me?


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

Had 2 small dumplings. Said “no added msg” I started feeling anxious later on and restless. I looked cLoser at the label afterwards. In small letters and it said “Except for yeast extract.” Ugh. I’m hoping I don’t have a reaction to this and be set back even further. I mean I’ve eaten relatively healthy throughout this, except for at the stress center. I’m sure I had tons of msg there, so hopefully I’m good.


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

April 3
11 extreme stabbing pain in belly.

12 floaters in eyes. Ache in body and upper spine.  Felt emotional thinking about a friend 

1 calm but out of it

2 anhedonic. Went on 2 mile walk. Lots of floaters. 

3 anxious. Anhedonia. Head pressure and tightness in forhead. Ache in Spine. 

4 wanted to call a friend. They didn’t answer. 

500 took an Epsom salt bath. Pressure in forhead. Feel very anhedonic. Nervous feeling in stomach

6-7 anhedonic. Spine ache

8 felt a little more myself. Felt like I could connect with people more. Not so disconnected. 

9 not disconnected. More connected to myself. Upper Spine pain and knee pain.

10 no libido or sexual function today. Tinnitus bad.  Music sounded kind of nice. took 3 mg melatonin. Fell asleep.

11:30 woke up.

1 fell asleep

6:30 am woke up. 
7 pressure in forehead and temples.

 

 

 

Yesterday: sexual and artistic/personality/ motivation windows. Felt excited about things. Felt content and cozy. Today emotional windows. Felt more rational during the day. Like I could think more clearly.

since Thursday evening, my body sensations have dulled. Like in my arms and legs. My upper back hurts when I try to think and sex seems disgusting :( whereas my baseline had improved to where I wanted it. I just didn’t have the emotional thoughts behind it, but I was getting there. I had just started thinking about cuddling and kissing since this whole thing happened. But now it’s none of it. I am not dreaming now either, which to me isn’t a good sign. I was having detailed dreams before. I think I may just be one of those people who gets through all of this, all of these mistakes, just to mess up everything with something seemingly benign. Sexuality seems to correlate with my interest in hobbies and stuff. I was just getting that back to, if only for a day :( 

when I was on my period before, it wasn’t this bad . 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

Is having such up and down craziness a sign of healing? Everyday and every hour brings something new 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

Why do I typically feel best in the morning though before my medicine?


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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Sunnyday
3 hours ago, blanketsareawesome said:

Is having such up and down craziness a sign of healing? Everyday and every hour brings something new 

 

Hi @blanketsareawesome . Personally, I think that's a sign of healing because it seems very typical (at least from what I've seen, I'm sure it differs). A while into my withdrawal it really was like a roller coaster and for a while I thought I had actually become bipolar because of it. One moment I was extremely depressed and couldn't leave my bedroom, and the next day I could feel euphoric and very ''hyper''.

For me it was the same as well in that I got my sexuality back along with the windows more and more. At the same time I also gained more interest in other things again like my hobbies and people around me. I think it's logical that all those things return around the same time, since they all relate to being somewhat happy or at least present and not suffering. Just my thoughts.

 

Hope you're somewhat okay at the moment. It's good to see you didn't feel as disconnected at one point in the day at least. Small steps forward even if it goes up and down a lot! I'm sorry I can't with certainty respond to your last question, hopefully someone else can.


2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues)

2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week

July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg

April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot)

Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month

Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs

Now: Still drug free

Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D.

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manymoretodays
On 4/3/2020 at 10:32 AM, blanketsareawesome said:

@manymoretodays I used a pill cutter and split it in half. Would you advise me just staying put for a while if I’m stabilizing on this dose? 

 

Hi blankets,

I'm all for you doing a gradual move of 1/2 of your dose, 37.5 mg Wellbutrin, to later in the day.  Keeping the total daily dose at 75 mg.  While keeping notes.  You've been trying to stabilize on this dose since February now.  You can look back and see all the interruptions though. 

You are getting there.

 

I'm not sure why you feel better in the morning, before your first dose.  That's nice though.  That you feel good at 6:30 am or so.  I mean so many feel just awful in the morning, or have the cortisol spikes......and so.......well, that's nice.

 

Yes, I'll go with your ups and downs at present, as being a sign of healing too. 

 

Waves and windows too, blankets........waves and windows. 

 

So what is new?  Are you all social distancing and adapting with that okay?  Thinking about what you might like to pursue in your life or just holding steady without making plans?  Now might be a good time to explore what you think you might like to pursue.  I think I am doing that a little now even.  Listening to the Universe or something.  Must practice guitar today for sure.  Seeing so much beauty everywhere, and it's so eerily quiet or quieter than usual.  It's kind of nice really.

 

Best blankets, L, P, H, and G,

mmt


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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blanketsareawesome

@manymoretodays okay awesome :) thank you. I got nervous today so I didn’t move it up an extra hour but I will continue tomorrow. I was nervous it would throw me off since I just started sleeping pretty well the last two days and I’ve had lots of little windows the last two weeks. So you think this will help me with stabilization? Would you recommend moving up an hour per week or just going for it and doing an hour each day?
 

in the small moments where I feel less anhedonic, I get excited about the future and plan, but they are fleeting anymore. It’s hard right now when nothing seems to move me social distancing is good overall because I don’t feel like I’m missing out too much on anything.

 

guitar is nice! That’s awesome. Glad you are enjoying this time. :) It’s a great time to pursue all those things 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

Thank you @Sunnyday for the encouragement and telling me a bit about your experience. I am struggling a lot and feel so alone. So comments like this help me so much. Hope you are doing well ❤️


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

I keep having these weird popping sensations in my head when I move it. It’s like a crackle.


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

I keep having these weird popping sensations in my head when I move it. It’s like a crackle.


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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Altostrata

Are you dividing your Wellbutrin dose?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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blanketsareawesome

@Altostrata yes I’m splitting it with a pill cutter and took one at 9 and one at 10


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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Altostrata

Are these popping sensations something new? When do they occur?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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blanketsareawesome

I have them every day since the alcohol. They are more pronounced today though. If I move my head I get them

 

well during my full windows I don’t get them, but I haven’t had a complete one in a while.. @Altostrata


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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Altostrata

What we really want to know about is significant changes in symptoms, reported in your 24-hour daily symptom notes.

 

It sounds like you have mild brain zaps. Please don't make isolated reports about familiar symptoms as they come up.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Bea123
On 1/22/2020 at 11:38 AM, blanketsareawesome said:

Titled Chaos after serotonin syndrome and Pristiq withdrawal.  I need someone to hear me.

 

I am a 25 year old female. 104 pounds. I know this is long, but I would love it anyone would take the time to read my story. I tried to make it as concise as possible, but I need to include all of the bizarre details. I made a lot of mistakes and did some really dumb things. I feel so alone and down right now.I wanted to preface this and say that before all that has just happened, I had never had any of these problems. Through my phases of anxiety and depression, I have never experienced anything like this. Even during my depression, I was still interested in things and divulged in music and made plans for the exciting things I would do in the future. Before this, I was very creative and motivated. I felt deeply. I was easily moved by movies and music and loved them. I was an empath. If anyone cried, that would make me cry. I could read others very easily. I cared deeply about my friends. I was super excitable and would often get ahead of myself with my ideas for my future. I enjoyed relationships and intimacy. I ruminated. I always slept through the night, despite my anxiety or depression. I thought about everything. I was pretty mellow, besides crying sometimes and getting nervous. I’ve never been very moody and hid my anxieties well. I don’t even want people to know when I feel bad. I don’t want attention. I don’t like to ask for help, but this is misery.

 

In 2010, I began taking Zoloft 100 mg and Buspirone 10 mg (2x day). I was in High School and  had experienced some intense anxiety that made it difficult for me to socialize and function. I was constantly nervous and felt it in my stomach and chest. Once I started taking these medications, I felt a lot better. I didn’t feel like I was going to cry or puke if I went to a social functions.

In January of 2019, I decided to get off of Zoloft and Buspirone. This is because, I started to become tired very easily and unmotivated. I fell into a depression. I needed to get a job and was too exhausted to get one. I felt like the medication was only making things worse at this point. I weaned off of them with no problems at all.

February 2019, I began taking Wellbutrin 75 mg. I started to feel alive. I had enjoyed sex while I was on Zoloft and desired intimacy, but on Wellbutrin, I was able to orgasm for the first time. My sexual desire increased even more. I had a lot of energy and I ended up landing my dream job.  

Late November 2019, despite the benefits of Wellbutrin, I was having horrible anxiety. I was constantly nervous and overthinking. My mom had to come and stay with me a few times, because I was so anxious. I knew it would get in the way of my job, so I went to my doctor. She prescribed me 25 mg Pristiq to take a long with the Wellbutrin. I began taking the Pristiq and started to feel calm again. I could get through my day without anxiety. However, As time went on, I noticed that I wasn't as interested in sex, when I was I could do nothing about it (If you know what I mean).  

Mid December 2019, I went to my doctor and told her that I didn’t want to deal with the sexual dysfunction that came along with the Pristiq. I was eventually put on buspirone 10 mg (2x a day) to take with the Wellbutrin. She told me to just stop taking the Pristiq since I had only been on it 3 weeks. I picked up my new prescription at CVS and looked over to this shelf. It had weighted blankets, aromatherapy oils and some supplements. I saw St. John’s Wort and Valerian Root. Apparently they were good for anxiety.  I purchased these along with my medications at the pharmacy.

On December 24, 2019, I began taking the buspirone 10 mg (2x a day) with Wellbutrin 75 mg, 300 mg St. Johns Wort and 450 mg Valerian Root. I did this for four days, until December 27th. I read how bad the supplements were to take with antidepressants and I stopped. My anxiety was even worse, so I stopped taking the Buspirone and began retaking the Pristiq 25 mg. I figured that I would get off of it, once I got through this hard time in my life.
December 28, 2019. I began taking the Pristiq 25 mg again and felt calm. I was only taking Pristiq 25 mg and Wellbutrin 75mg now.

December 31, 2019. New years eve I had 3 mixed drinks and completely blacked out. I was sick the entire night and felt ill the entire next day. I don’t drink much, however, this was not normal after only a few drinks.

January 1, 2020. I felt extremely anxious and sick the whole day. My hands kept falling asleep and had the pins and needles feeling. From now to January 4th, I began having mood swings and random shaking. I felt sick. To make matters worse, I accidentally took an extra Pristiq this day.

January 4, 2020. My genitals went numb. I felt like it was just attached to my body.  I would go between feeling extremely anxious and nervous to calm and almost high. I was having trouble swallowing and my mouth was really dry. I started to notice that my legs would randomly shake and that I was having trouble remembering words to songs that I enjoyed. I had half a mixed drink with my friend that night and returned to my Uncles house to stay the night. I was anxious about how I was feeling and cried. I fell asleep for two hours and woke up wired. I felt odd. My heart was beating really fast and I paced my room for two hours before I decided to drive home. My forehead was numb and I felt pressure in my head.  

January 5, 2020.I made it home to my apartment. I didn’t feel like myself and I was out of it. I paced my apartment for a few hours. I had trouble expressing genuine emotion. Even when I cried, it felt forced. But I was terrified. My chest and stomach went numb. I felt almost high. Despite not sleeping the night before, I was wide awake. I paced my apartment for hours. My genitals were numb and so were my legs and feet. My body was shaking. My coordination was off. It felt like if I touched them, that there was a layer of clothing between them. Pretty much, I had a breakup in a relationship that night, due to other things. Normally, this would have left me devastated. I cried a bit, but felt high after and did not care one bit. My mom arrived later that night. I wasn’t thinking of anything. I was just shaking uncontrollably. I would cry because I was confused about what was happening to my body, but I was indifferent to everything else.  I felt sedated. I fell asleep. My mom told me that I was shaking in my sleep.  I woke up 3 hours later, completely wired she took me to the hospital.

January 6, 2020.  I didn’t take the Pristiq this day, because I had a feeling that this was serotonin syndrome. I did, however, take the Wellbutrin. I had all the same symptoms as the day before. However, I felt as though I couldn’t cry, even if I wanted to. My legs shook uncontrollably when I tried to lift them. I couldn’t tell when I had to pee or poop. The doctor tested my urine and the results were normal. He said that I very likely was on the verge of serotonin syndrome. He said all of my feeling would return within a couple of weeks. He told me to talk to the doctor who prescribed me the meds about tapering off. I slept for 11 hours that night.

January 7, 2020.  I took Pristiq 25 mg today.  I went into the doctor who prescribed me the medications. She believed that I had serotonin syndrome and that I should wean off Pristiq. She also agreed that everything would come back and that it would just take some time. She told me to take Pristiq every 3 days for 2 weeks and that I could stay on the Wellbutrin 75 mg for now. So I took one January 7th, 10th and 13th.

January 7th-12, 2020. I felt foggy and disconnected throughout the week. I felt this pressure in my head. I didn’t find people attractive (normally do). My genitals were really dry and numb.  I felt tingling all over my body. I felt pins and needles everywhere. There was a pressure and heaviness in the top middle of my head. Pressure became more intense when I closed my eyes to think.  I wasn’t interested in things that I usually am (music, movies, talking to my friends).I was having trouble socially and felt like I couldn’t connect to people. At work, I thought one of my coworkers was a customer and I couldn’t  even remember how to do the cash register. I was forgetful. I didn’t remember to brush my teeth or shower or to even put my seat belt on (all things which I am normally very adamant about. I didn’t care about anything. II didn’t feel empathy for others. I felt almost high and didn’t feel much anxiety. When I did feel anxiety, it was accompanied by anxious thoughts and I’d feel more myself. I didn’t get excited about anything. Certain symptoms would come and go throughout the week. I slowly regained the ability to feel when I had to pee and poop throughout the week. I also was able to sleep.

January 12, 2020. I felt awful all day and then all of a sudden, in the evening, I regained all of my feeling. My sexual dysfunction was gone. I found people attractive on tv and was excited for the future. I began planning trips I’d go on and cute outfits I wanted to wear. I was excited for my future and having a family one day. I could feel the full range of emotions again. I was excited to start new projects at work. Normally, I have some acne on my face. Throughout this whole situation, I didn’t have any acne and then it returned today.

January 13, 2020. I was set to take my 25 mg Pristiq. I was weary about it since I regained all of my feeling, but decided it was probably best to continue weaning off of the medication. I heard Pristiq withdrawal was brutal anyway. I took it. Didn’t sleep.

January 14, 2020. I felt pretty good. I woke up with a really swollen face. I  really I had sexual function and was happy. Didn’t sleep.

January 15, 2020. I felt pretty good at the beginning of the day and it slowly went downhill. I told my doctor about how I was feeling and she told me to just stop taking the Pristiq.  I slowly started losing emotional feeling and got that brain fog again. I fell asleep that night and woke up two hours later. I was completely wired.  felt suicidal. How could I regain everything and lose it again? Was it because I took that stupid pill? I knew better. I decided to drive home to my parents house, 4 hours away at 3 in the morning. I shouldn’t have driven home on such little sleep. But I was desperate. I saw a glowing cow on the way there (never hallucinated in my life), but I put that down to the lack of sleep and withdrawal.

January 16 -17, 2020.
I felt out of it. I couldn’t sleep. Intense pressure in temples. Muscle spasm and burning feeling on my skin. Didn’t feel myself. Could laugh sometimes, but emotions were far and few between.

January 18, 2020. I started my period for the second time this month (only had a 20 day cycle/ I’m normally extremely regular). I read online that NAC helped people with their withdrawal symptoms and that it helped with their anhedonic feelings. I spoke with a lead figure in PSSD research and he told me that I should try NAC and that it would help protect my brain from damage that could be occurring. He told me to take 300 mg tablets for two weeks. I figured that I would give it a shot. I told myself I would never try another supplement, but I was desperate. i should have been patient.That day, before I took the NAC, I began to feel a little more like myself. I wasn’t so apathetic. I felt a range of emotions. I felt love, sentimentality, happiness, anxiousness. When I saw people kiss on tv, I felt a flutter down there. Things were looking good. I began to feel a little sleepy, I hadn’t felt that way for the last week. I went to the store and picked up the NAC. I didn’t think it would hurt anything. They only had 600mg tablets and the pharmacist said not to split them and that my body would flush out whatever I didn’t need. I took the NAC. I began to feel really calm and really tired. I ended up getting sick, but I figured that was because I ate a lot at dinner. I slept well that night.

January 19, 2020. I woke up and felt really calm, but completely out of it. Emotionally I did not feel much. A lot of pressure in my head. Feels like someone is tying a band around my head. Feel a pressure in top middle of head. I tooke the NAC. I returned back to my apartment.  I decided I would no longer take the NAC due to how I was feeling.

January 20, 2020. I woke up with a really swollen face. At the beginning of the day, I felt out of it and apathetic. I went to get checked up by my doctor that prescribed me the medications. I told her how I felt. She suggested that I could be bipolar or schizophrenic. She told me that I should probably be in patient and that “the mind can convince us that we feel certain ways.” Which is something I believe, but I don’t believe its the same in this circumstances. I believe it has to do with what i’ve put my brain through. After this, I cried uncontrollably for the rest of the day. I had blood tests done. Everything came back normal. I still had the pressure in the top middle of head, the pressure in my temples and the band feeling around my head. My vision is a bit blurry.

January 21, 2020. I had a small window this morning, where I watched some videos and they made me happy and I was moved emotionally by a sweet video on reddit. I felt like I could socialize with people at work and felt good. My head didn’t feel so heavy and I didn’t have so much pressure in my head. My vision was blurry and my ears hurt. It all went away midday and I began to cry. I couldn’t focus. I cried the entire day. I didn’t feel the physical sadness or fear or anxiety. I just cried. My mom ended up having to come. I felt suicidal. I was crying the whole day.  She didn’t know I had felt this way and cried and so did my dad. Normally, if anyone is upset at all, especially my parents, I will cry. I can normally feel when others feel. When they cried, I didn’t feel bad. That’s not me. That’s never been me. What has happened to me?

January 22, 2019. Now I have physical anxiety in the mornings without the accompanying thoughts. I thought I didn’t feel much before, but now it’s even worse. It’s like my windows become smaller and smaller with less and less. It’s like a lose a bit of myself each time.I still feel this pressure in the top middle of my head. My vision is still a bit blurry.

 


My therapist thinks I have conversion disorder, where my body convinces itself theres a problem. I honestly feel its something neurological brought on by the serotonin syndrome and the withdrawal of medication and possibly the supplement made it worse. I am currently only on Wellbutrin 75mg (no other supplements or anything) and have been on that consistently throughout this whole thing.


I know that the real me wants a future. I want a career. I know I won’t be able to keep my job if this continues. I want love and a family and I’m afraid that that won’t be possible if I feel like this. I miss who I was. I am angry at myself for ever being unkind to her. I hate that it took this for me to see that she was great. I could have probably avoided this situation entirely if I would have realized that sooner. I took my life for granted. Weeks before this, I joked with my friend about how I hoped someone would hit my frontal lobe, so that I wouldn’t have anxiety anymore. Now I’ve got my wish. I’ve realized that It’s better to feel every range of emotion than to feel a limited amount. It's so defeating to not feel understood, to feel like you’re crazy. It’s like the real me is underneath trying to get out, but i’m covered by this unsentimental shell.

 

 

I would love to have support through this difficult time, while I'm figuring everything out. It would be much appreciated.

 

Why can I cry but not feel much else? Did I make things worse by taking NAC? Will I recover? Advice? I

I feel exactly like you!


2nd of january 2020: started 6 mg Amytriptiline. Stopped CT on the 12th of January

28-29 feb: received 1000 mg valproic acid in hospital

4th March-present: started Prozac 10 mg, 20 mg After 2weeks and now 30 mg and Clonazepam 15 drops sometimes (only took 4 times so far).

End of March started tapering Prozac and Clonazepam and now i am meds free since mid April 2020. 

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blanketsareawesome

i Was on Zoloft for ten years. Would a small reinstatement of that help at all? My anhedonia is the worst it has been. @Altostrata


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

8 pressure moved from forehead to middle of head. Felt a bit myself personality wise

9 37.5 Wellbutrin. tinnitus. Felt more human though. The smell of coffee in the kitchen was pleasing. The wold didn’t feel so foreign. 125 mcg magnesium. Spine pain left 

10 37.5 Wellbutrin. Went on a 2 mile walk. Partial anhedonia. Blank mind. Head pressure lightened. Mostly on sides of head. Floaters

11 sexual thoughts and urges. 

12 FaceTimed with friends. Sad because I feel so slow and disconnected. Not myself. Friends feel foreign to me

1 irritable feelings. Made a small smoothie with berries, kale and spinach. Bell peppers, mushrooms and chicken sausage.  Pressure moved to my forehead and temples

2 25 mcg magnesium. Pressure moved to top middle of head  to top back of head

3 anxious. Cried. 

4 head pressure intensifies in forehead and back of head. Went on a walk. Cried a lot.

5 ate popcorn. head pressure really bad

6  feeling disconnected

7 eat dinner. 

8 start to feel bad. Anhedonia. 

9 start to feel worse. Anhedonia

10 anhedonia bad as it’s been in a long time. Absolutely everything feels flat. 

2 wake up

3fall back asleep 

5: 30 wake up. Intense head pressure. Brain fog. Can’t think. Anhedonia 10/10.

 

mu baseline has been so much worse since that tea :( I’m not having a period now. I only bled once. 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

If cinnamon is a sedative hypnotic, would it be like taking a benzo?? I felt almost drunk when i had the tea. I’m so scared. I can barely form a thought now. It wasn’t this bad before


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

I guess if it is interdose withdrawals contributing to it, then why do I feel so good in the morning before I take it and then get worse later In the day after I take it?


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

I was getting full day windows before the stress center and they lasted into the evening. I wonder if  trying the extended release Wellbutrin made me sensitive to not having it in the evenings. Or sensitive to it in general.


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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manymoretodays

You didn't sleep much last night blankets.  Or it looks like up and down.  When's the last time you had a night with at least a good 5 hour stretch of solid sleep?


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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blanketsareawesome

I’ve only slept a full 5 hours straight twice since the first week after the stress center. Most of the time I get 4 hours at most straight.@manymoretodays


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

The last two nights I have slept longer though. Able to fall back asleep easier once I wake up again, so it’s been 5-7 hours. 


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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blanketsareawesome

I just started getting sleepier and less on edge during the day. I haven’t felt sleepy like this in a 3 weeks. Much calmer. Which is good compared to wired and anxious. Should I hold at 37.5  Wellbutrin at 9 and 10? Ir just go back down? I’m afraid to move it further because I just started to sleep decent and not feel anxious. I don’t know if it’s helping me sleep or if my body is was adjusting and set to do that. I don’t want my body to freak out later about the change. It’s hard to say. @manymoretodays


-100 mg Zoloft and 10mg Buspirone (2x daily) 2010- 2019 (no problem during withdrawal)

- 75 mg Wellbutrin February 2019-Present (Had intense anxiety, so doctor added Pristiq)

Had to get off Pristiq after combining with 300 mg St. Johns Wort for four days and getting Serotonin Syndrome.

- 25 mg Pristiq End of November 2019- Beginning of January 13th 2019 (Took every 3 days for a week until off)

-Took NAC 600 mg for two days (January 18th and 19th) and stopped because I felt more anhedonic and foggy)

- January 18th 2020. Felt amazing and completely myself.

- January 30th 2020. Drank 1 oz or 1 oz 1/2 of whiskey. Completely destabilized. Most symptoms returned. Especially anhedonia. Windows and waves.

- March 2020 still struggling to stabilize.

Windows and waves

march 12 hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. They upped my Wellbutrin to 150 XR. Bad reaction. Went back to 75 mg. Gave me low dose hydroxizine 3 or four times, low dose trazadone once. Started me on 5 mg twice day buspar for a five day span. Made the fog worse. Now back to square one. Stopped all medications except for 75 mg Wellbutrin. 

 

For sleep: melatonin 3 mg

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