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Dragon

Dragon: protracted acute withdrawal syndrome

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Dragon

I found this website several months ago and have read loads of it. I tapered venlafaxine 225mgs over 6 months, finishing 7 months ago-June 2019. I realise this was too fast, but I didn't know that at the time. I also was taking Gabapentin for nerve pain, but stopped it without too much trouble in November 2019.. I had really horrible anxiety between September and December 2019, but this has lessened and been replaced by a feeling of doom in the morning especially.   I did not get many symptoms for the first 2 months. I feel very fragile and cannot predict from one moment to the next how I will feel.  I do not know what I would do without this website. 

 

 Also I am not very familiar with computers and do not know a lot of the terminology. What are "tags" in the box above?

 

I take magnesium citrate and fish oil each day. I don't know if it helps, but it doesn't seem to hurt, so...      I am in the process of tapering lansoprazole by taking beads out of capsules and am down to 3/4 of 15mgs. I should add that I decided to taper off the venlafaxine because I started to get panic attacks in December 2018 and worked out I was probably in some sort of tolerance withdrawal from it. I got alarmed when one of my GPs suggested upping my dose to 300mgs. I wondered how high the dosage would go.......,and when it would poop out again.


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

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manymoretodays

Hi Dragon and welcome aboard,

I filled in your tags.  It's a place to note what drugs you might have withdrawn from and I added PAWS, for protracted withdrawal syndrome.  It also acts as an identifier, for if someone wants to do a search for certain types of cases.

 

Glad you joined us.

And great that you are tapering your lansoprazole.

 

I'm going go ahead and give you some of the links to some of the basics around here for starters:

The 10% taper recommendation is a harm reduction approach to going off psychiatric drugs.
 
 
 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made.  The CNS likes stability. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.

 
And great, that you've tried some Magnesium, and Omega 3's already.  You can learn more about them, or see our discussions around them here:

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Please put your withdrawal history in your signature  This helps us out quite a bit.  You'll see other members signatures below their posts, when signed in, with the exception of a few devices.

 

This is your introduction/journal page where you have now introduced yourself to the community, you can ask questions here regarding your tapering, give updates, and just keep a record of your journey.

Apologies for the delay in getting you started Dragon.  And I'm so glad to hear that we've already helped you out.

 

Welcome again.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
spacing

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Dragon

Thank you for replying to me Manymoredays, it's made me feel a lot less lonely out here. I think I've managed to put my withdrawal history in my signature. I can see it anyway.  I'm getting some really bad sleep symptoms, or rather non sleep ones. I can only sleep for 3 hour stretches then wake and toss for the rest of the night. I get very tired but dread sleeping, when I can manage it, as I feel so dreadful when I wake up. Full of doom and existential dread. I never had this before being prescribed antidepressants...

 

The other awful thing is the anger and rage I feel. Sometimes I go upstairs and lock myself in so I can't be heard whilst I scream and shout. This can be just because of something I've seen on the TV. Something daft like a perceived injustice on a reality police programme. !! It's completely crazy. Also I worry about absolutely everything, however unlikely it is to happen. We're having builders in for some major refurbishment soon, so I'm worrying the house will fall down if they get it wrong. My husband will get ill and I won't be able to handle the builders. He'll die. Everyone I care about will die.....etc.   etc...I think about this when I'm trying to go to sleep, and get in such a state I have to put the light on again.....

 

This is not me. I'm not this terrified mouse I've become.

 

 


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

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manymoretodays

Oh Dragon,

Sounds awful.  Yep, I went through it.......I'll give you some hopefully helpful links today to some of our information, on the symptoms you are really going through right now.  You'll find some great new coping tips there too.

 

How long was the benzo usage this time around?  I see September through November with the Valium, and then some Ativan in November.  Even some intermittent use over just 2 weeks can cause dependency........and then the subsequent WD(withdrawal).  And with Valium, it's got such a long half life, that once discountinued, it can come back and bite you with the WD, much later, when you least expect it.

We do have a benzo forum as well, Benzo tapering and recovery and if you'd like some additional advice with benzo usage.  Go ahead and browse first and then if you'd like, start a topic over there.  You would need to be signed in to access that area of the site.  Shep is great, with all kinds of knowledge and nuggets around that particular WD.  

 

From the Symptoms and Self Care Forum:

 

Non- drug techniques to cope

^ indexed list of so many of the different symptoms and various coping skills that we all have had to use to cope with WDsyndrome

Managing the morning cortisol spike

^ this can present as that awful dread and dread upon awakening

 

*Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Neuroemotions

Waves and Windows again and that whole pattern of stabilization

 

From the Finding Meaning Forum:

Which "me" is the real me?

Many other topics in that forum too, to bring you comfort.

 

So......Dragon, you're not alone here, in what you are presently going through.

 

And best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

 

 


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Altostrata

Welcome, dragon.

 

Quote

 

valium 2mg for panic sep-nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg anxiety nov 2019.

 

 

How often were you taking Valium and Ativan?

 

It looks like you stopped gabapentin at the same time you came off the benzos, correct?

 

On 1/19/2020 at 11:37 AM, Dragon said:

 I did not get many symptoms for the first 2 months.

 

Which months do you mean? When you say "not many," did you get any withdrawal symptoms?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Dragon

Hello Altostrata, thanks for the welcome.

 

I was taking valium 2mg once or twice a day from September till November 2019, but some times I would go without for two or three days.(I was trying, probably not very effectively, not to get addicted !) My memory is vague as to times of day I'm afraid !

Likewise with the Ativan. It was given "as needed". I think I took one every two or three days. Sorry I can't be more exact, as it didn't do a lot for my memory.

Yes, I came off Gabapentin at about the same time I stopped Ativan and Valium.(Nov.2019) I realise this was daft, but I wasn't thinking clearly. I had reasoned that I wouldn't yet be addicted to the benzos....... Thinking logically about it now, it's clear that the withdrawal after November could have been to any or all of the benzos or Gabapentin.

 

I did get some anxiety immediately after June 2019, (when I finished tapering the venlafaxine), mainly in the morning, then it got worse in September and I was then prescribed the benzos. Valium first then, when I started getting full blown panic attacks, the Dr prescribed Ativan. These helped, but I was so frightened of addiction, I stopped them in November.

Along with the anxiety after June, I also had insomnia, feelings of doom and eye sight problems. The eyes are now better. The anxiety is still there but different in quality, deeper but not so sharp. I hope this tells you what you wanted.

 

Manymoretodays, thank you for your kind reply. I'm sorry you went through this, but glad at the same time, as it makes me feel less alone. I will look at the topic headings you gave me. They look very useful. I'm sorry the above information details are a bit complex. That's also how they felt when I was living them !. I've started keeping a brief (I can't manage anything longer) journal, so I can keep track of myself.

 

Is South West mountain time in California ? Mountain time sounds very wild and attractive. I come from South West uk, Cornwall. Where the locals used to make a habit of wrecking incoming ships ! We have a very rocky and precipitous coastline.

Sending you love and peaceful nights.

 

 


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

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manymoretodays

Hi Dragon,

No, I'm just in the SW region of the U.S., not in California.  Parts of it are wild and sometimes it feels pretty wild.....a very mixed mountain and high desert geo area.  Very mixed culturally and politically as well.   Some predominance of the original settlers.

Unfortunately, no coastline.  Can't have it all.  And that sounds interesting......lol.....B) Ship wreckers!!

 

We are a peaceful ship here, at survivingantidepressants.  It alway feels like a ship to me.......of refuge in a way........hence, me always(or often) saying "Welcome aboard".  It doesn't look like I did that, when getting you started, welcomed, and approved.  

 

When did you go on the gabapentin?  I am curious...... as to if that was a short usage overall.

 

Have a well day.....the best it can be!  ........Welcome aboard!

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited by manymoretodays

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Dragon

 Hi MMTs,   Sorry, my knowledge of US geography is not too good.☺️

 

Last night I went to sleep at 7pm !! and slept the clock round till 11 this morning..... This, when the longest sleep I've had since last September is 3 hours !!! I hope this brings some hope to other insomniacs here.

 

In answer to your question, I started Gabapentin around 2005.  I had nerve damage in my feet. It did help a little, but eventually I realised it was making me very dopey.  I think that would make it rather a long usage.

 

Love and peace to you.


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Dragon

Well here we go again, 3 hours sleep, feeling wretched.  Panic in morning, restless legs at night.

We're trying to get some building work done on the house. It's a big job on a small property that is very old. They don't come out when they say they will. They overprice things.

It's driving me nuts and the work hasn't even begun yet.  Am I getting angry with neuro-emotions or is it just maddening anyway ? Then Hubby is saying we'd better postpone it, it's too much for you at the moment, and that makes me angrier than I was before.😡

I can't carry on living here as it is, falling down around our ears !

 

On a positive note, I baked a chocolate cake, haven't done that for 15 years. Bought cakes taste so awful, I'd forgotten how good home made tastes. Perhaps I'm becoming more like my old self.😉 until it begins again tomorrow morning.


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Dragon

Again, I was not able to go to sleep until 5am. Having to sit out all night(up til 5am) in a chair, whilst feeling tireder and tireder. It gets quite desperate. At least the heavy dreams have stopped but I seem to be unable(mostly) to sleep for more than 3hrs at a stretch. Constant exhaustion....and then waking up with doom and gloom. It does get better as the day goes on, but I have no pleasure in anything. I drag myself out for a walk each day because I should, but i'm so bored and so tired. What a moany old cow I sound... If I went to the doctor and told him all this he'd have me on ADs before I could turn around, but this is just my body/brain remodelling itself. It's a difficult shift of ideas, that depression as I used to think of it, doesn't exist and it was just a normal reaction to life events that were awful. Yet I can accept this, and it makes the torture that we are going through a disaster of vast proportions. They'll probably sweep it under the carpet though, they usually do. I wish the drug companies would spend some time inventing new antibiotics, that's what is needed. They won't though, apparently there's no money in it.....

 

I worry that by the time my brain is remodelled I shall be too old to enjoy it, but then again, how old is that ?


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Dragon

I've been looking on the symptoms threads at guilt, shame, self recrimination etc. as these are troubling me, especially at night. How I have wasted my life. I think this must be a withdrawal symptom as so many others seem to have these thoughts.  The only thing that helps is watching DVDs of Murder she wrote or Miss Marple. They take me back in time to a place that feels safer (although there's a lot of murder about).😉  I seem to have missed out on many potentially productive years of my life by taking ADs for so much of it.  During that time I was so numbed that the real feelings that are now coming back to me feel sharp and unbearable, like being naked in a snow storm.

 

The anger is abating a little only to be replaced by extreme grief.

Edited by Dragon
It's come up twice, needs deleting, don't know how.

citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Dragon

I don't know what I did there, I seem to have posted last Thursday's post twice with the second one dated today. Computers make my brain freeze, especially now....Oh well carry on anyway. @manymoretodays referred to this site as being a ship of refuge and it certainly feels so to me. There's always someone who has suffered the same symptom as I have which is a real help as loneliness and isolation can feel quite crippling. Just now I'm having trouble with driving. I loved driving my car before all this, but now I've become very fearful. I'm not sure how to deal with it as feeling nervous can lead to jerky, incompetent driving, so the nerves just escalate. For safety's sake, it's not something you can just push through when your doing it badly. Hubby says he'll sit with me when I drive, but I'm not sure if that won't make it worse, as I'll feel like I'm performing....Don't know what's best.

@Katy showed me how to do the blue highlighting that I saw everyone else doing, so I feel more computer savvy today ! Thank you to her.


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Safety first Dragon.  And it does sound not only stressful, but noisy for you around your home base, due to the re-dos underway.

Do you have any options, as to doing some of that stuff later?  Or even a place that you could go for quiet while construction is going on?

 

On 1/26/2020 at 11:55 AM, Dragon said:

In answer to your question, I started Gabapentin around 2005

Just go to Account Settings/signature to update with that starting date.  Make sure and click the Save button when done.  Thank you.

 

Another thing to consider is a very small reinstatement of the gabapentin.

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

On 10/8/2012 at 5:17 PM, Altostrata said:

According to what medicine knows about psychiatric drug withdrawal syndrome, reinstatement is the only way to alleviate withdrawal symptoms. All the papers about withdrawal symptoms allude to how symptoms usually resolve after reinstatement. This is considered a hallmark of withdrawal syndrome.

  

Do let us know if this is something you might consider, after reading through the first couple of posts in the reinstatement topic.  And keep in mind that the dose that we would recommend would just be a very small dose.  I can confer, if you'd like on this.  I'm thinking not more than 5 mg, and possibly even less. 

 

The emotional turmoil can be really common in WD:

Neuro-emotions

^ you'll find other members experiences, some more linked topics, and some coping helps in that one

 

And it does slowly get easier, or the "hair trigger" ness begins to decrease, as time goes on.  I still have to do some healthy pauses many times, before responding in verbal exchanges, or just plain conversation sometimes.  I'm kind of on a neuro-retraining program of my own making lately I think. 

And wow, I sat or attended a committee meeting for 6 hours yesterday, plus the drive time to get there and back.  I didn't feel "reactive" and wasn't too nervous or fearful with driving.  I just felt really frazzled after a long work stretch like that.  So........just illustrating here, as to how much better it has all gotten for me, or manageable, if you will.  I CAN cope.  Which is great, for me, for now!

 

Okay, Sunday peace here today, hoping the same for you.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Edited by manymoretodays
signature update reminder and link added

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Altostrata

Hello, Dragon.

 

Well, it seems you could have benzo or antidepressant withdrawal syndrome or both. It also seems you are experiencing waves and windows, which is the normal, frustratingly slow healing process. See The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

This is promising.

 

You may be able to do some small things to improve your sleep, which would help the process along. What is your sleep schedule?

 

How much fish oil and magnesium are you taking?

 

As manymoretodays said, it's possible a little gabapentin, such as 5mg, might help. It's up to you if you want to try it. You'd make a liquid to take that small amount, then taper off by minute amounts later.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Dragon

Hello @manymoretodays and thank you for your visit here. You are a comforting presence. We are planning to move out for a month soon, as they can't really do the work if we are still living here anyway. Before that happens we have to , more or less, empty the house of furniture,which is going to be hard work but we'll get some muscle to help !!

I've updated my signature with the gabapentin start date, sorry I left it out originally. I'm still trying to decide whether to updose a little of it. I really don't want to, so I'm humming and haaing on it a bit....I'll let you know if I decide to. @Altostrata has suggested 5mg aswell, so I'm thinking on that. I realise it's time sensitive, so I won't take too long to decide.

 

It's really helpful for me to hear how much your recovery has progressed. Mind you your long drive and meeting sounds very exhausting but rewarding for you that you've done it.

I'm getting a lot of anger recently. There was a letter in a current affairs magazine that I have each week. It was complaining about the proliferation of herbal medicines for "serious" illnesses like depression which should be properly treated by a doctor....There is so much wrong with this that I immediately dashed out a letter to the magazine ranting about the damage done by doctors with their drugs causing brain damage etc. etc.    No. I didn't send it, but I might, as Hubby says it's a good letter. He also said that they might ask me to write an article for them on the subject. Hm We'll see. I've been reading Robert Whittaker's book "Anatomy of an Epidemic", which made me very angry on behalf of all of us on this website.  As you say though "healthy pauses" are necessary when the anger strikes.

 

You ask what is my sleep schedule @Altostrata, well to start will I'm an owlish person, and don't do mornings. If I'm active at all it's in the afternoon. At night, before sleeping, I watch tv (Crime programmes), do sudoku or read. I turn out the light when my eyes droop, or if they don't (which is often nowadays) at about 2.30am. I try not to go on the computer after 12 midnight. I'm updating my signature with the fish oil and magnesium. If it hasn't yet come up it's magnesium citrate 5gms or 1/5 oz, with water sipped through the day.  Fish oil 1000mg (epa 330 mg). That's half what is recommended on the jar. I could of course double that.

Thank you to both of you for caring.

 

 

 


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

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Altostrata

What is your drug schedule?

 

If I were you, I'd get off the computer by 9 p.m., take some melatonin, and go to bed by 11 p.m. Get up in the morning, get some natural light. This better matches your natural sleep cycle and will strengthen your sleep. After you recover, you may be better able to maintain your nightowl habits.

 

See

 

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

 

Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime


Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

A good amount of fish oil is 3,000mg-4,000mg EPA + DHA per day. This is often 6 capsules. Look on your fish oil label for capsule strength.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Dragon

@Altostrata as I am only taking lansoprazole now, it's not really a schedule. I take that when I wake up. Normally at about 9.30am.

If you include the fish oil, I take that at 10pm.  I drink the magnesium through the day as it helps me with anxiety. Thank you for your advice about sleeping.


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


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Dragon

I've been experiencing a wave in the last few days, but I think it's lifting a bit now. Trouble is that last night I didn't sleep at all and was totally exhausted all day. I cancelled a dentist appointment and am annoyed with myself about that. Haven't been able to sleep in the day either. I think I've got some form of senility as I keep forgetting words, proper names and such. I'm hoping it's "only" withdrawal. "Only" because that hopefully is not permanent.....

When I do sleep, I'm still getting the morning doom and gloom, it's so draining. I'm thinking about death, my own and everyone I care about. The world's, mistreated animal's suffering and death. God, I thought I was past all that existential stuff. I'm an energy free zone. Have to force myself to go out or do anything. Feeling really grim. I've been looking on some other people's introduction pages for encouragement. Some are really good and helpful, although I realise they are trying to keep themselves going, it helps me also.

@Cocopuffz17and @Happy2Heal are both inspiring. Maybe someone will visit my site.....

 

 

 


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

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Katy398

Hi D I ‘follow’  you,  yet I don’t seem to get notifications when you post. I don’t understand why that is. Anyway here I am.

I too get the senility,  forgotten words and names, thing. I’ve also read about other’s who’ve suffered from the same,  so WD it is, not permanent 

The death thing is truely horrid, my heart goes out to you. I’ve thought and even verbalised some terrible things when in this particular hole. Thoughts are only thoughts they can disappear like clouds and thoughts are only thoughts, they are not real. This is definitely withdrawal but I find I only realise it’s withdrawal when I’m not in this hole. When I’m in it and talking to my sister,  I cannot accept it as WD and I’m convinced it’s reality.  Does that happen to you too. 

As for sleep,  how cruel can WD be? not only do we have to manage all the challenging symptoms WD brings our way, we have to manage them with sleep deprivation to top it all.  This is crazy but you will get through it.  Catch as many of the ‘forty wink’ moments as possible. Sometimes I can doze off watching television for a few minutes, every little bit helps. I must check out @Happy2Healand @Cocopuffz17. D it is  really tough at times,  grim,  but when I’m in a window I think if we can get through this,  we can get through anything,  imagine how strong  we’ll feel then!!! Imagine what it must feel like to feel strong enough to get through anything!!🧡😄 

Take care thinking of you Kx

 

 


 

Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey

Last dose end Dec 2018 

Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for  14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!!  

 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long.

On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx  5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day.

 

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Dragon

Hi @Katy398, I think you can arrange to get notifications on sites you have posted on when you join the site. That seems to be what's happening to me anyway. Maybe you will get them about mine now you've posted on it. Thanks for your support and reassurance. It means a lot to me. I actually made it to that dentist appointment yesterday, but even doing that is a big ordeal. I'm finding with the sleep thing that whenever I close my eyes through exhaustion, my mind suddenly wakes up and starts racing all over the place. I want to sleep, but I don't want to wake up, not through SI but because I feel so desperate when I wake.

I do like the thought of being strong enough to get through anything.


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


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Katy398

You know D mindfulness really helps me at the beginning and end of each day it seems to calm my overactive brain. I actually paid for it in the end through headspace because it tracks your progress which helps me be consistent with it. Hope dentists work is a success.  Take care lovely D 

The world needs more Dragons😉

Kx


 

Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey

Last dose end Dec 2018 

Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for  14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!!  

 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long.

On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx  5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day.

 

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Dragon

Hi @Katy398 I did try Mindfulness a few times but haven't had much success yet. I say yet because I think it's one of those things which is a skill that gets better with practice, so I intend to just carry on plugging away hoping it'll help eventually. Fortunately there are lots of good books on the subject, which I've looked at.

 

Thank you for your kind comments.💙 and for visiting my thread with your helpful suggestions. I hope you are doing better tonight.

 

My front tooth fell out this morning. I knew it wasn't secure when they fixed it with the wrong glue, then tried to convince me it was the right one !!   (It was a bridge.) Fortunately my sense of humour rescues me in these kind of situations.    I look very villainous. 😄I can't find an emoticon without a front tooth !

 

I keep feeling angry with stupid things, like for example TV programmes when the plot is silly or unbelievable. Things that shouldn't bother anyone, let alone cause anger. The rage rises up to my throat and I want to scream like a madwoman.....and do occasionally. I'm lucky, Hubby is very tolerant.....The trouble is I can't avoid everything that makes me angry, as there are so many.


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Katy398

Oh D I totally get the anger stuff. I really do. I remember it being really bad, in the beginning for me, but you know it subsided for me and has been taken over by other symptoms. Symptoms change all the time. 

Front tooth Wow. it’s amazing you didn’t get cross about that,  yet a TV programme sends you into a screaming madwoman. 

The recovering brain works in very weird ways. 

I’m hoping I can get through another Sunday without too many tears. I’m really fed up of these waves today. 

Off to try and engage with family. Take care D Thanks for holding my hand and butting up shoulder to shoulder. 

You’re a gem. Kx

 


 

Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey

Last dose end Dec 2018 

Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for  14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!!  

 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long.

On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx  5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day.

 

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Dragon

Another glorious day in withdrawal heaven. Sleeplessness again, and I'm feeling so exhausted from that. Also I have flu. Last night I had a real high fever. Yes, I think it's just ordinary flu, not the dreaded Corona. I haven't travelled anywhere, or even gone out of the house, but then you can never be sure. Just another thing to get anxious about.

 

The anger is really taking over my head. I see what you mean @Katy398 about not getting that upset about the tooth, but getting really angry about TV programmes. Makes absolutely no sense, but then again can I expect sense in this situation.....Can't write anymore have to rest now..


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


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Katy398

Hi D, My thoughts are with you. First try to put Corona way behind you. Like you say you haven’t even left the house. 

You’re right we often can’t make any sense of this. Add in Flu and you’re in , day to day survival mode. Each hour by hour you’ll get through. Nurture and look after yourself. Let yourself be poorly and lie there feeling no responsibility, other than allowing recovery to happen in its own time. 

Hang on in there this too shall pass Kx


 

Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey

Last dose end Dec 2018 

Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for  14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!!  

 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long.

On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx  5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day.

 

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Dragon

They call withdrawal the gift that keeps on giving but flu is doing that to me aswell. I'm on my tenth flu day now and it's getting better but painfully slowly, It's not so bad that it knocks out the WD symptoms, but bad enough to make me feel physically wretched. The morning feeling of doom has returned in full force. I'm still getting the irrational anger with stupid things aswell as those things that warrant anger (and there are many of them).

 

I feel as though I've felt unwell for so long that I've forgotten what wellness feels like. I feel like I felt when I was treated for depression, that feeling of nothingness, no impetus, no ambition, no desire for anything, just nothing. What is the meaning of all this suffering, I wish I could find one. It's so unrelenting, no breaks, no holidays, just on and on........


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Dragon

I haven't been on the website for a few months, but yesterday I received an email from Altostrata asking if I would update my history.

 

No I can't say I've recovered but I have got a bit better in that the morning anxiety has flattened. It feels more like general low mood and depression. It's hard to know how to use the word depression, but here I'm simply describing a feeling of general unhappiness and misery. Is that better than anxiety, yes a bit, but not much.

 

It's been 14 months since my last venlafaxine (effexor in US) so I do wonder what sort of a lengthy time scale I'm dealing with here !

I have stopped posting on this website because I have nothing positive to say and don't want to drag people down. I've gained all the information I'm able to take in for now and try to restrict my internet use as I respond better to books at the moment.

 

I do suffer from a very extreme feeling of anger at the state of the world as depicted in news media. I don't know if I would feel this way if not in W/D or if there's a lot to be angry about.....

Sorry this is so negative. I wouldn't have posted if I hadn't been asked to. If I get better I'll post a success story as I think those are important, but unfortunately not yet.

 

Without this website my WD would have been very much worse as I wouldn't have known what was going on. That would be a great deal more frightening.


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

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ChessieCat

Thank you for coming back to update us on how you are.  It is truly appreciated.  It's good that you are noticing some improvements.

 

The Are We There Yet topic was recently updated.  You might some of the information in these sub topics helpful:

 

It Doesn’t end at “0”

 

Things to do Along the Way

 

So, When Will We Get There?


REMINDER TO SELF:

I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 17 Oct 2020:  Pristiq 0.56 mg (compounded + liquid)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Dragon

Thank you ChessieCat. I have just read the links you sent me and notice that on one of them it says it is important to share with someone how you feel, and not keep it locked inside. I do share with family, but am also starting a journal to help me work out when I'm getting better. With any luck it might also give me a sense of achievement.


citalopram 20mg 2008-2011

venlafaxine 37 1/2 mg rising to 225 mg 2011- June 2019

gabapentin 900mg, started around 2005, came off quickly Nov 2019.

valium 2mg when required for panic Sep-Nov 2019.

Ativan  1mg when required for anxiety 1st-30th Nov 2019.

Was addicted to valium in 1970s but came off it then, v.bad withdrawals.

Now

Lansoprazole 2/3 of 15mg.

Magnesium Citrate, 1/5 oz or 5 gms in water.

Fish oil 1000mg. upped to 2000mg Feb 2020.

 

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat
19 minutes ago, Dragon said:

also starting a journal to help me work out when I'm getting better. With any luck it might also give me a sense of achievement.

 

This is a good idea.  Sometimes improvement can be so subtle and happen over a long period of time that we may not realise that it is happening/has happened.


REMINDER TO SELF:

I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 17 Oct 2020:  Pristiq 0.56 mg (compounded + liquid)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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