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Onmyway

Resilience and Waves and Windows

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Onmyway

I just came across this article on my feed today that talks about resilience: 

https://hbr.org/2016/06/resilience-is-about-how-you-recharge-not-how-you-endure

 

The basic idea is that resilience is not about constantly testing your limits but you build resilience by challenging yourself and then resting. And it occurred to me, that maybe that is what the body is doing with the windows and waves. It is basically letting us rest. I am not sure I would have been able to endure this hell without any windows. So maybe we are building resilience through this process? 

 

Note that the article is written about business and work stress which compared to what I am going through right now seems trivial;  though a year ago seemed very important and just as life and death. 

 

(I know there are some who don't get windows for years and can't imagine how hard that is. My first short window at about 6 months was a godsend.)


Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg ,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months (don't remember dates), trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up), occasionally did this in difficult times 

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax/day, then 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week, April  14 , 2019 - citalopram 1.8 mg (liquid), May 8, 2019 - citalopram 1.6 mg (liquid),  July 27, 2019 - citalopram 1.5 mg (liquid),  August 15, 2019 - citalopram 1.35 (liquid)

 

 supplements:  melatonin 1 mg  

 

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