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FarmGirlWorks Recovery Appeared as a Pickle-and-Cheese Sandwich


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Hi @FarmGirlWorks, just come across your thread - I share your sentiment about putting another Pfizer product in my body. I had the AstraZeneca jab, though Pfizer seems a little safer now with what’s come out about it!

 

It’s lovely to hear that you seem to be coming out into the other side of this, do you think your cog problems are improving, albeit slowly? I’ve heard from a few people that they recover the slowest, and usually gradually, rather than going over the span of a few weeks like a lot of symptoms.

 

The self-centredness comes from a place of pain, I think it’s a survival instinct to help us focus on ourselves to get better - as long as your conscious is reminding you to be in the right place for other people. I think it’s just a case of getting yourself to a place of happiness, if not, content, and then you’ll be able to think about others first.

 

I’ve read about Moderna having a few more harsh side effects, that last for a few days. Do you have any dizziness? That seems to be a common complaint

Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Symptoms that have gone: Joint and muscle pain/weakness in my legs, phantom senses, chemical dread, chemical fear, DP/DR has gotten a lot lot better than what it is now, it was one of my worst and all-encompassing symptoms when it started, awful aphasia, parkinsonism, head pressure, pressure in my frontal lobe when trying to think/work out something, inability to plan or execute anything//feelings of being literally scatterbrained, inability to think in my head other than slight acknowledgements - the voice in my head sounded weak and 'small' like it was restrained to a much smaller area of my brain, constant fatigue, emotional numbness, constant eyestrain, and changes in perception of colour/contrast in sight.

 

Main remaining symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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ADMIN NOTE Farmgirlworks's Introductions topic is here.   A pickle-and-cheese sandwich marked the beginning of the end of this trip to hell. At 25 months, I stopped in at a neighborhood yard

Hi @Kimboslice, Ups and downs but nowhere near the downs of withdrawal. Sun is out here and that def makes me happier. It's strange how fast things are picking up here as more and more of us get

Hi @Leo1983,   Yeah, it is slippery to write a Success Story and then have a dip. Maybe "wave" isn't the correct terminology however the symptoms that @Happy2Heal mentioned (cortisol rush in

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FarmGirlWorks
Posted (edited)

Thanks for the kind thoughts, @Icip... yup, the self-centeredness is a habit of defense and it is a process to change that habit into trust.

 

The cog fog is the slowest symptom to go here. Frustrating to be sure! I am praying that it fades away. I've read that it takes at least 5 years to fully heal. I think going through a pandemic (and fires, smoke, civil unrest, a crazy national election, and...) was hard on the nervous system as well. I'm planning to travel and relax after my second vaccine.

 

And I too have heard the Moderna one is harsher... I don't think I had any more dizziness than usual. I had sore arm (no big deal) and, more troubling, fatigue and malaise... like being thrown into a wave again. I have a major situational stressor happening right now as my ill and elderly adopted father contracted Covid but while sad (normal) do not feel the wave that I felt the week after the shot. I heard the second one is a bat so blacked out a few days afterward. Oy vey. Congratulations on getting a one-jab.

 

And, wow: read your signature  @Icip and that is horrible that so few doses threw you into WD. Your signature is accurate and articulate in describing the mental effects of sertraline WD. "Literally scatterbrained" -- yes. And the emotional numbness is also a lingering effect... certainly not nearly as strong as it was the first few years but still there. I fear that when I go to my father's funeral (sooner rather than later, I think) I will not be able to cry. I think that is how Albert Camus' "The Stranger" starts except it is his mother. Anyways, I feel like I am trying to experience emotions with the sensitivity of my elbow -- not much feeling unless it is hit suddenly and hard. Again: hope that it fades.

 

Anyways, my heart goes out to you after so few doses. That stuff is poison.

Edited by FarmGirlWorks
  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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ChessieCat

Please post about your vaccination experience here:

 

coronavirus-covid19-and-psychiatric-drug-tapering-withdrawal-covid19-vaccine

 

Thank you.

 

FINISH LINE here I come!!!

🏁

Current from 25 September 2021:  Pristiq 0.02mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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@FarmGirlWorks,

 

It’s nice that you recognise that, though, it’s not all on you, as there are probably people who exist that have made you form self-defence mechanisms. My reaction is what helped me, my friends are family now.

 

I hope it goes a little sooner for you:) it seems like a long time but time loses it’s value if you know that you’re going to heal. I would be happy waiting 20 years to be myself again, as long as I knew that I’d get there. I’ve had that thought a bit, about anxieties, and stressors making healing slower, and whilst it probably does - I can’t imagine that there’s anyone in your situation who’s had it easy; I have to keep reminding myself of that as I’ve not exactly given myself an easy ride, nor other people have done.

 

Aw I’m so so sorry to hear that, I’ll be praying for him, and yourself. Has he had his vaccine?

 

It’s funny because whilst on Sertraline, the effects I felt most strongly were that of cognition - everything went silent. Which felt pretty great in the moment as I’d always been burdened with an active mind - tho not so much after my reaction. I’ve noticed that each psychiatric drug has its own unique symptoms when in withdrawal, or atleast some that affect people more.

Has your emotional numbness gotten much better? I’ve heard that it’s a very slow process, yet improvements are normally felt however small. I felt quite numb for a while, I can feel it coming back. I’m quite emotionally intense, so getting back to being able to cry over any and every film I watch is a relief; I do still feel quite disconnected from them though, almost like they’re not mine. Odd.

I think we place too much emphasis on our own reactions to things, “why aren’t I upset about this”, or, “why does this not shock me”, are thoughts even people that aren’t going through this think. However you react, you know how you feel, and felt about your Father - so as long as you know that, you’ll be okay. One day you’ll have your emotions back, and maybe then you’ll be able to process your hurt, and feelings.

I cried all night a few months ago over a girl I went out with two years ago. I never found the time back then to process it, and then shortly had my reaction, so I’ve only just been able to; I can’t say how good it felt, it felt like it had all happened the day prior.

 

That’s a good analogy, your elbow. Just remember that your elbow leaks to your heart!

Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Symptoms that have gone: Joint and muscle pain/weakness in my legs, phantom senses, chemical dread, chemical fear, DP/DR has gotten a lot lot better than what it is now, it was one of my worst and all-encompassing symptoms when it started, awful aphasia, parkinsonism, head pressure, pressure in my frontal lobe when trying to think/work out something, inability to plan or execute anything//feelings of being literally scatterbrained, inability to think in my head other than slight acknowledgements - the voice in my head sounded weak and 'small' like it was restrained to a much smaller area of my brain, constant fatigue, emotional numbness, constant eyestrain, and changes in perception of colour/contrast in sight.

 

Main remaining symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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  • 1 month later...
Rosetta

Hi FGW,

 

I’m thinking of you.  I’m sorry to hear that your adoptive father is not doing well.

 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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FarmGirlWorks

Wow: been MIA from SA longer than I though. Thank you @Rosetta for poking me to come back. My adopted dad died two months ago, 4/16. And I visited my elderly/crazy AF bio-dad in late May and that was its own dramatic trauma. Soooo... am I going through Grief and Major Feels or a Wave? Probably mostly the former with a smattering of the latter. I remember in acute WD that every time I interacted with my family I'd be thrown into a wave for weeks after it. So trying not to be hard on myself right now for what feels like moving through molasses. Like Claire Weekes says (paraphrasing here), do it even if it is very (very) slowly.

 

@Icip: wow, I wish I could remember if sertraline made my mind go silent. I mean, as much as I hate the drug, that sounds lovely. However, my fear that I wouldn't be able to cry at my father's funeral was not the case. Once I saw the casket, it was over. It seems like Big Events are what I need to jar me out of an all too often state of emotional numbness. But I have had hearty cries since then -- and one utter meltdown (shoutout to the SA friend who talked me off a ledge). I love your being able to cry and process over a woman you dated years before. My shrink pointed out to me that I've been "taking care" of others all my life. When I disagreed, she said that by numbing out, hiding my nose in a book, or going to my room was a way of taking care of others from my authentic emotions (which would not have been received). Ah! I do that to this day in relationships. That is something I need to process! How goes it with you? I see that your remaining symptoms don't include head pressure and for that, I am happy for you.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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siderale

Hello @FarmGirlWorks! Although we definitely have a wildly different experience and I am half your age (WD spares none!), your story is so encouraging. The cheese sandwich part made me smile so wide because I could just picture the "shift" you might have felt at this moment. I hope you're well and that the grief you're going through will ease off soon. Best of luck with all the emotional bits that might be all over the place. I hope you're taking care of you.

May I also ask how you practice kundalini yoga? I have been following youtube videos, kundalini is also the practice I find the most relief in.

Aug 2017 - May 2018 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. June 5 mg and then stopped. Absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

Nov 2018 - Jan 2021 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. Jan-Feb 2021 - 5 mg, daily (1 month).  Feb-March 2021 - 5 mg, one day out of two (2-3 weeks). No withdrawal symptoms during taper.

--- Since March 13th, 2021 -> Escitalopram 0 mg.

Withdrawal appeared 8-10 days after last dose: introduction topic

Benzos occasionally: Prazepam 5mg (last intakes: july 30, aug 05).

 

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FarmGirlWorks

Bonjour, @siderale. Peeked at some of your posts and relate to several of your symptoms. I, too, love coffee and had to stop during withdrawal because of the caffeine. Even decaf set me off a bit. So I started with herbal teas then black teas and now (although not daily) I enjoy a latte or cup of french press. I recently learned about "napuccinos" where you drink a cappuccino then nap for 20 minutes and wake with a jolt of caffeine. I did it once (my nap was 40 minutes though) and felt perkier afterward. After a mid-day meal, I become very sluggish and sleepy. But my naps during withdrawal and while on Zoloft were epically long, like 2+ hours and I felt almost worse. Now they are 40 minutes and not all the time. Anyways, glad to see that you are progressing and processing so well on this path.

 

Kundalini is so good for those of us in WD (and yes it hits all ages). It strengthens the nervous system which, in our case, was destabilized by adding and subtracting chemicals from our system. As we see from the myriad of symptoms both physical and mental, it affects the entire body and these chemicals are sensitive and need time to normalize again. Kundalini, for me, helped soothe and, because it is cerebral as well, helps me "digest" difficult emotions.

 

To answer your question, I practiced at a studio from the near the beginning of my WD (May 2017) where the lead teacher had practiced almost since it was brought to the West (he died of Covid in October). Was lucky to take workshops with Guru Singh (Los Angeles) including a 9-month teacher training. I taught for a hot minute before pandemic times. After that, I took Zoom classes and now am practicing with a YouTube teacher from Australia, Onkartej. She does the movements for the full time suggested and I find that is when the nervous system starts to kick in. I can feel it. Plus she is gentle and I am being super easy on myself right now with the grief and also some therapeutic breakthroughs.

 

Occasionally take an online class with Snatam Kaur and Sopurkh Singh (snatamkaur.com) as they are chill but superb teachers and a vocal global phenoms. In addition, Sukdhev Jackson's Shakti School and Tommy Rosen's Recovery 2.0 as I am in recovery since stopping drinking also at the beginning of WD. There are just so many amazing teachers out there that we have access to!

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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FarmGirlWorks
Posted (edited)

I've been watching Gabor Maté's The Wisdom of Trauma (thewisdomoftrauma.com). Recommend at least watching the documentary; I signed up for the whole shebang of talks and 7-hours of direct sessions with him. I mean, there was a reason why I came to psychodrugs and while 12-step programs and therapy are very much helping, I want to understand trauma as much as possible so I can navigate through it. I absolutely do not want to go through drug withdrawal again.

Edited by FarmGirlWorks
  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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persistente

Hello Farmgirl, I have been visiting your page for few times....thank you for writing and giving me hope...

 

I discovered Gabor Mate few weeks ago. His docuentary about trauma was an eye opener for me. Let us know how it goes. Best regards.

3/2012 - sertralin 50 mg, no major side effects

1/2014 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks as doctor ordered)

7/2014 - back to sertalin 50 mg, no issues

4/2016 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks, my decision)

12/2016 - back to sertalin, major side effects from the first pill and the begginning of hell

2/2017 - mirtazepine 15 mg added for insomnia

6/2017 - stopped sertralin (2 months tapper)

9/2017 - stopped mirtazepine (3 weeks taper)

waves and windows

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Leo1983

@FarmGirlWorks 

 

Hey,

 

So do the people that declare themselves a success story continue to state we are having " Waves" when we are stressed and unwell in the future? After recovery.

 

Im currently 36 month out and daily i wake up with that uneasy feeling and a feeling of anhedonia, fatigue etc. I still fear my days. I still have poor cognition and memory is shocking. 

 

Yes at a weekend i drink mainly a Saturday night. But surely this cant be the cause? Many many drink alcohol and dont complain of "Waves". 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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FarmGirlWorks
Posted (edited)

Hi @Leo1983,

 

Yeah, it is slippery to write a Success Story and then have a dip. Maybe "wave" isn't the correct terminology however the symptoms that @Happy2Heal mentioned (cortisol rush in morning and dissipating by evening, inability to focus or concentrate) were very familiar. I think 3 major stressors in 2 months and then the record-shattering heat wave of the US northwest (it was over 110 degrees here in Seattle), my nerves said "uncle" and dysregulation occurred. Went to acupuncture today with the practitioner who helped (and most importantly knew WD from psych drugs is a Real Thing) and she corroborated that my nerves/energy is scattered but will repair. I'm taking this very seriously again and minimizing stressors as much as possible and eating clean, not drinking or ingesting cannabis. I do microdose psycilocybin and feel that has helped me access empathetic emotions more deeply but there is no way I would do that while in withdrawal.

 

So that was a rambling way of saying Success is not a finish line but a path and I felt I was healthy enough to write a story and give hope to those behind on the path. Healing is inevitable! I've seen it with others too.

 

What you are enduring is tough, tough and I am sending you good vibes across the miles.

Edited by FarmGirlWorks
  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Leo1983

So are all the symptoms i complain of gone for you? Fatigue, head pressure, fear of the day etc?

 

Are you drinking alcohol again and using THC? 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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Leo1983

You also use mushrooms to help with mood?

 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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FarmGirlWorks

Medicating Normal (film) is promoting this Facebook Live event for the launch of AntidepressantRisks.org. Below is text from email (forgive formatting wonkiness).

 

https://fb.me/e/18OMBZ6lP

 

Join us this Friday with Katinka Blackford Newman of AntidepressantRisks.org

This Friday, on Facebook Live, we will speak with Katinka Newman about the launch of a new website: www.antidepressantrisks.org

RSVP for Facebook Live!
77850c4c-76db-7527-dbc2-ae004f0d274f.png

Antidepressantrisks.org  is a new website to raise awareness of the risks of antidepressants. 

Its aims are: 

  • to share stories of people who have been harmed by antidepressants and other depression medications. 

  • to make people aware of the side effects of antidepressants and the difficulty of withdrawal.

  • to explain that adverse reactions to antidepressants can cause suicideviolence and homicide.

  • to draw attention to the potentially life-threatening conditions of serotonin syndrome and akathisia.

    It also features a comprehensive list of useful books, films and links to other organisations.

The team on Antidepressantrisks.org are Professor David Healy, Katinka Blackford Newman, Sarah Culshaw and Dr. Ed White. 

Visit now!
01278d92-ff9c-0f4c-ec72-e9bd00cf8811.jpg

About Katinka Blackford Newman

Katinka Blackford Newman is an award winning BBC trained documentary film-maker who lives in London. Her interest in antidepressants began in 2012 when she nearly lost her life because of an adverse reaction to an antidepressant. She was hospitalised and prescribed more drugs which made her extremely ill.

After a year she was lucky to be taken off all the drugs and made a full recovery.

She researched the side effects of antidepressants and interviewed some of the world’s leading experts. Her best-selling book ‘The Pill That Steals Lives’ has been featured on Radio 5 Live, BBC London, Good Morning Britain, the Victoria Derbyshire Show and in The Times, The Sunday Times, The Daily Mail and The British Journal of Psychiatry.

In 2017 her research was made into a BBC Panorama programme 'A Prescription for Murder' which investigated whether an antidepressant could be the cause of one of the worst mass killings of this century.

This year she co-founded a not for profit organisation to highlight the dangers of antidepressants. Antidepressantrisks.org

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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FarmGirlWorks
4 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

not drinking or ingesting cannabis. I do microdose psycilocybin

 

Fatigue, head pressure, existential fear is gone. I microdose for increased depth of emotions not a mood lifter or "happy pill." There is no such thing, that is clear from the stories on this site.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Thank you @FarmGirlWorks for your important updates and for reporting about the antidepressantrisks.org! 🙏

July 2015: the 20mg citalopram for great stress begins

After two years I start tapering (slow but without medical advice) and I guess wrongly. First up to 10 mg, then 5 mg and 2 mg (liquid solution) and skips

January 2020 (I don't remember exactly the day): off citalopram (last dose 2mg).

June 2020: adrenal crash. The beginning of Hell on Earth

 

Current supplement:

- saffron pill (20 mg) + vit. E, omega 3 (EPA + DHA) 2g, magnesium bisglycinate 300 mg, iron , vitamin D3 (2500ui) +K7 (50 ui), vitamin C (1g) + quercitin (25 mg), theanine (as necessary).

 

Try meditating / mindfulness, walking every day, CBT/ACT, massage.

 

"E quindi uscimmo a riveder le stelle" ("And so we went out to see the stars again")

(Dante Alighieri, Divine Comedy , Inferno, XXXIV, 139)

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Hi @FarmGirlWorks I'm curious how your cognitive functioning has improved if at all...thats my main symptom right now. I'm constantly forgetting things and having a hard time processing information. Thanks!

Off all meds since mid June 2020

November 2020 - feeling really sick, cognitive delays, memory issues, difficulty focusing, low mood, apathy, anxiety

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FarmGirlWorks
Posted (edited)

@gizmo hi and thanks for the question. It did improve but with a regression due to Major Stressors including the Heat Wave, it decreased. Difficulty remembering and also making connections, responses [I read your intro and yeah, feeling "stupid" a lot even though I know that I am not). It WAS better so I am going back to some things I learned in acute withdrawal: cutting off toxic dynamics, eating cleaner foods (I see you take Lion's Mane and I love putting it powdered and frothed in tea for the brain, can feel an improvement), decreasing caffeine, and taking things slowly. It's a bummer, for sure, but I've learned that pushing yourself leads to more chaos and anxiety.

 

It'll get better for sure. Your path will improve too -- it takes time though. I think with your line of work you are being completely ethical and helping people.

Edited by FarmGirlWorks
  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Hi FarmGirlWorks,

 

Thanks for your posts.

 

Questions about head pressure. Did you find anything that helped that? How long did it last for you?

 

ALL my symptoms seem to originate from left sided head pressure - dizziness, cognition, etc. The pressure on left side of head is …. bizarre.

 

Thanks again,

 

 

Alex

 

 

 

Unfortunately …

 

Klonopin - average 2mg per day, 1997 - 2017

Zoloft - 75mg per day, 1991 - 2020

 

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FarmGirlWorks

@Alex2, hi and congratulations on getting off the Zoloft. Blerg: so hard and so worth it. Regarding head pressure, acupuncture using the drug withdrawal protocol (it's mainly on the ears) was the only thing that helped me. It lasted two or so days but at least I saw that the pressure could be lessened and that, with time, the pressure would go away. Currently, it has been at least six months (probably more) since I had head pressure. Even though the last few weeks I was triggered and have had cortisol mornings/early afternoons, the head pressure -- my worst physical symptom -- has not come back. I've also been taking ibuprofen during this time to alleviate inflammation in the brain.

 

I am so so sorry that you are experiencing this and know that it does go away eventually. I hope it goes away more quickly for you!

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Thank you 🙏 

Unfortunately …

 

Klonopin - average 2mg per day, 1997 - 2017

Zoloft - 75mg per day, 1991 - 2020

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
RachelSusan

@FarmGirlWorks I was just thinking about you so decided to check in.  First off, how are you doing?  How are things with bio-dad?

 

I have a feeling that my latest cut will be my last before I jump off the Zoloft I am very low and the last few cuts have been easy.  We have come a long way FGW. I am happy for both of us.

 

xo
Rachel

HISTORY

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg. May 9, 2020 1.375 mg. June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%). July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

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FarmGirlWorks
Posted (edited)

@RachelSusan: so many congratulations to you! I just read your signature and sending mad respect for your patience and fortitude in tapering. Your story is a tale of why tapering is the best course. And, I say this as someone who pretty much cold-turkeyed it. Do. Not. Recommend. Sending good vibes for the jump off.

 

I'm okay. Bio-dad situation is stable and am finally beginning to trust that. Drama/death in my adopted "family" triggered a setback. Cortisol rushes (blerg) and High Anxiety. But no head pressure for which I am grateful. Going back to techniques that I learned in Acute WD: reduce caffeine, low histamine diet, regular exercise and kundalini each morning. But so much better than a few years ago, thanks for asking. You've always been such a positive beacon.

Edited by FarmGirlWorks
  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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RachelSusan

@FarmGirlWorks

Thank you for updating me. I still get Cortisol spikes now and again. I suspect with time it will go away but it has been my normal for the past 5 years. The only difference is now it is extremely mild and infrequent.

 

Yes cold turkey is hard.  My god you must be a warrior woman to survive it. I am very proud of you.

 

I too follow a specific diet now. Not identical to yours but similar. I do believe I am caffeine free, unless of course some manufacturers sneak something in. It has been a necessity. And yes I exercise regularly and practice all sorts of other healthy living now.

 

Stay as well as you can my friend.

xoxo

HISTORY

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg. May 9, 2020 1.375 mg. June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%). July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

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  • 1 month later...
  • Mentor
FarmGirlWorks

Someone in a group sent this link to me after I mentioned dealing with a pharmaceutical drug withdrawal. The group is for adult adoptees who also are in recovery (no matter which program). I am careful mentioning withdrawal because so many folks in these groups are on psychodrugs and I do not want to scare anyone (although they should be). But sometimes it just makes sense.

 

I have not read the book but want to. The author tapered off benzos and survived a long, painful (no surprise to SA members) withdrawal. Now, 8 years later, she is a financially successful artist. There is hope for all of us.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Psychiatrized-Waking-After-Decade-Medicine-ebook/dp/B0994TS4FL

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Phoenixmama

@FarmGirlWorks thanks for posting about this book, i just ordered one ❤️🌞❤️ 😊

 

 

started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g

feb 26th took 5mg

feb 27th took 5mg 

feb 28th cold turkey 

currently taking mag

 

 

 

 

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Hey @FarmGirlWorks-

Your story is so inspiring to me. I'm in the midst of my biggest wave and my current symptoms are adrenal fatigue from sensory overload, weak legs and horrendous frontal head pressure. I've had it 30 days with a short break, another 30 days and a break and now I've had it for 10 days. My head is full of pressure right in the middle of my forehead and my scalp is sensitive. I wear hats a lot when I feel normal and that's a no-go. 

 

Does that ring a bell at all? Similar to what you experienced?

 

Thanks so much,

Ryan

2005- 2008: Lorazepam (max dose- 1 MG daily)

2008- 2016: Lexapro (max dose-10 MG daily)

January 2017- March 2017- Pristiq (max dose- 100 MG daily)

April 2017- June 2017: Trintellix (max dose- 10 MG)

July 2017- October 2017:  Lexapro (max dose-10 MG daily)

November 2017- April 2018- Luvox (max dose- 100 MG)

May 2018- Zoloft (max dose- 18.75)

5/28/18- 3 MG Lexapro, 6/3/18- 3 MG Lexapro, 6/7/18- 3.5 MG Lexapro, 6/13/18- 4 MG Lexapro, 6/21/18- 4.5 MG Lexapro, 6/28/18- 3/29/21- 4 MG Lexapro, 3/30/21- Present- 3.8 MG Lexapro

**Bad Wave Caused by Trileptal 150 MG (one pill) in December '20 and Low Dose Naltrexone .12 MG (one pill) in April '21**

 

"The Journey is The Reward"

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FarmGirlWorks

Oh dear @ryan1982, I am sending good vibes out to you. Yes, it is difficult to pick the most-hated symptom but of the physical ones, head pressure was it. So, so horrible. The only thing that would help me is acupuncture and that lasted a mere few days. But a few days was some relief. Eventually, toward the end, the pressure went away. I know this will happen for you too. Even when I get occasional headaches now, they are nothing compared to that ever-present pressure. Just make sure you are hydrated... it helps to put a tiny pinch of sea salt in the water to help your body soak it up. I've been doing it for awhile and it does help. Like Gatorade.

 

Love "The Journey Is The Reward." It is a rough AF journey but afterwards you realize how many tools you've learned here to live drug-free. And you will.

Edited by FarmGirlWorks
  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Share on other sites

So kind of you @FarmGirlWorks. What a rough journey, right?

 

Was your head pressure relentless for weeks at a time or was it intermittent throughout the day. I'm obviously a bit freaked out because it doesn't leave but I'm trying to chill out. Did you feel it right in the middle front? 

 

Thanks so much- you have no idea how it feels to hear a survivor tell you it's going to be ok.

2005- 2008: Lorazepam (max dose- 1 MG daily)

2008- 2016: Lexapro (max dose-10 MG daily)

January 2017- March 2017- Pristiq (max dose- 100 MG daily)

April 2017- June 2017: Trintellix (max dose- 10 MG)

July 2017- October 2017:  Lexapro (max dose-10 MG daily)

November 2017- April 2018- Luvox (max dose- 100 MG)

May 2018- Zoloft (max dose- 18.75)

5/28/18- 3 MG Lexapro, 6/3/18- 3 MG Lexapro, 6/7/18- 3.5 MG Lexapro, 6/13/18- 4 MG Lexapro, 6/21/18- 4.5 MG Lexapro, 6/28/18- 3/29/21- 4 MG Lexapro, 3/30/21- Present- 3.8 MG Lexapro

**Bad Wave Caused by Trileptal 150 MG (one pill) in December '20 and Low Dose Naltrexone .12 MG (one pill) in April '21**

 

"The Journey is The Reward"

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