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FarmGirlWorks Recovery Appeared as a Pickle-and-Cheese Sandwich


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Hi @FarmGirlWorks, just come across your thread - I share your sentiment about putting another Pfizer product in my body. I had the AstraZeneca jab, though Pfizer seems a little safer now with what’s come out about it!

 

It’s lovely to hear that you seem to be coming out into the other side of this, do you think your cog problems are improving, albeit slowly? I’ve heard from a few people that they recover the slowest, and usually gradually, rather than going over the span of a few weeks like a lot of symptoms.

 

The self-centredness comes from a place of pain, I think it’s a survival instinct to help us focus on ourselves to get better - as long as your conscious is reminding you to be in the right place for other people. I think it’s just a case of getting yourself to a place of happiness, if not, content, and then you’ll be able to think about others first.

 

I’ve read about Moderna having a few more harsh side effects, that last for a few days. Do you have any dizziness? That seems to be a common complaint

Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Symptoms that have gone: Joint and muscle pain/weakness in my legs, phantom senses, chemical dread, chemical fear, DP/DR has gotten a lot lot better than what it is now, it was one of my worst and all-encompassing symptoms when it started, awful aphasia, parkinsonism, head pressure, pressure in my frontal lobe when trying to think/work out something, inability to plan or execute anything//feelings of being literally scatterbrained, inability to think in my head other than slight acknowledgements - the voice in my head sounded weak and 'small' like it was restrained to a much smaller area of my brain, constant fatigue, emotional numbness, constant eyestrain, and changes in perception of colour/contrast in sight.

 

Main remaining symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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ADMIN NOTE Farmgirlworks's Introductions topic is here.   A pickle-and-cheese sandwich marked the beginning of the end of this trip to hell. At 25 months, I stopped in at a neighborhood yard

Hi @Kimboslice, Ups and downs but nowhere near the downs of withdrawal. Sun is out here and that def makes me happier. It's strange how fast things are picking up here as more and more of us get

@Kimboslice, good to hear from you. I definitely relate to you that trips home are triggering. I haven't been back (I am on the west coast of USA and family is on east coast, near DC -- ugh). Was just

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FarmGirlWorks
Posted (edited)

Thanks for the kind thoughts, @Icip... yup, the self-centeredness is a habit of defense and it is a process to change that habit into trust.

 

The cog fog is the slowest symptom to go here. Frustrating to be sure! I am praying that it fades away. I've read that it takes at least 5 years to fully heal. I think going through a pandemic (and fires, smoke, civil unrest, a crazy national election, and...) was hard on the nervous system as well. I'm planning to travel and relax after my second vaccine.

 

And I too have heard the Moderna one is harsher... I don't think I had any more dizziness than usual. I had sore arm (no big deal) and, more troubling, fatigue and malaise... like being thrown into a wave again. I have a major situational stressor happening right now as my ill and elderly adopted father contracted Covid but while sad (normal) do not feel the wave that I felt the week after the shot. I heard the second one is a bat so blacked out a few days afterward. Oy vey. Congratulations on getting a one-jab.

 

And, wow: read your signature  @Icip and that is horrible that so few doses threw you into WD. Your signature is accurate and articulate in describing the mental effects of sertraline WD. "Literally scatterbrained" -- yes. And the emotional numbness is also a lingering effect... certainly not nearly as strong as it was the first few years but still there. I fear that when I go to my father's funeral (sooner rather than later, I think) I will not be able to cry. I think that is how Albert Camus' "The Stranger" starts except it is his mother. Anyways, I feel like I am trying to experience emotions with the sensitivity of my elbow -- not much feeling unless it is hit suddenly and hard. Again: hope that it fades.

 

Anyways, my heart goes out to you after so few doses. That stuff is poison.

Edited by FarmGirlWorks
  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Please post about your vaccination experience here:

 

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NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from 17 Apr 2021:  Pristiq 0.2665mg  now holding each dose for 3 weeks

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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@FarmGirlWorks,

 

It’s nice that you recognise that, though, it’s not all on you, as there are probably people who exist that have made you form self-defence mechanisms. My reaction is what helped me, my friends are family now.

 

I hope it goes a little sooner for you:) it seems like a long time but time loses it’s value if you know that you’re going to heal. I would be happy waiting 20 years to be myself again, as long as I knew that I’d get there. I’ve had that thought a bit, about anxieties, and stressors making healing slower, and whilst it probably does - I can’t imagine that there’s anyone in your situation who’s had it easy; I have to keep reminding myself of that as I’ve not exactly given myself an easy ride, nor other people have done.

 

Aw I’m so so sorry to hear that, I’ll be praying for him, and yourself. Has he had his vaccine?

 

It’s funny because whilst on Sertraline, the effects I felt most strongly were that of cognition - everything went silent. Which felt pretty great in the moment as I’d always been burdened with an active mind - tho not so much after my reaction. I’ve noticed that each psychiatric drug has its own unique symptoms when in withdrawal, or atleast some that affect people more.

Has your emotional numbness gotten much better? I’ve heard that it’s a very slow process, yet improvements are normally felt however small. I felt quite numb for a while, I can feel it coming back. I’m quite emotionally intense, so getting back to being able to cry over any and every film I watch is a relief; I do still feel quite disconnected from them though, almost like they’re not mine. Odd.

I think we place too much emphasis on our own reactions to things, “why aren’t I upset about this”, or, “why does this not shock me”, are thoughts even people that aren’t going through this think. However you react, you know how you feel, and felt about your Father - so as long as you know that, you’ll be okay. One day you’ll have your emotions back, and maybe then you’ll be able to process your hurt, and feelings.

I cried all night a few months ago over a girl I went out with two years ago. I never found the time back then to process it, and then shortly had my reaction, so I’ve only just been able to; I can’t say how good it felt, it felt like it had all happened the day prior.

 

That’s a good analogy, your elbow. Just remember that your elbow leaks to your heart!

Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Symptoms that have gone: Joint and muscle pain/weakness in my legs, phantom senses, chemical dread, chemical fear, DP/DR has gotten a lot lot better than what it is now, it was one of my worst and all-encompassing symptoms when it started, awful aphasia, parkinsonism, head pressure, pressure in my frontal lobe when trying to think/work out something, inability to plan or execute anything//feelings of being literally scatterbrained, inability to think in my head other than slight acknowledgements - the voice in my head sounded weak and 'small' like it was restrained to a much smaller area of my brain, constant fatigue, emotional numbness, constant eyestrain, and changes in perception of colour/contrast in sight.

 

Main remaining symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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