Rozon1: Effexor withdrawals

[mstimc]

Rozon, when I was going through the worst of my withdrawal in late 2007, I went to see my son play in his junior high jazz band.  For about 15 minutes while he was playing, I had my first real window.  All my anxiety and catastrophic thinking just melted away while I listened.  The negative thinking closed in again, but I held onto that moment like a life preserver, because I knew another would come. 

 

A few posts ago you said how good it felt when you helped your daughter with her homework.  Use that.  When you find yourself obsessing about your symptoms, think about that.   You already know your symptoms are related to your anxiety and withdrawal.  The best way to get rid of them is to deal with what's causing them. 

 

Listen to @Altostrata's advice and work on coping.  That's how you'll get your life back.

[Colonial]

Rozon, I have been here closing on 5 years this summer...

My Thread is only 9 pages long and I have only 725 posts.  Many of which, in the past 2 years are in other peoples threads supporting them

 

Rozon, You haven't even been Here 2 months... And your thread is FOURTEEN PAGES LONG... and You already have 270 posts...

 

I think Your continued posting is becoming part of the problem of why Your NOT getting better...

Your starting to abuse the point of the forum, accidentally, to use as an outlet for Your obsessing...

We've already mentioned this and You did do better for a few days, but now your tumbling back down the rabbit hole again in Your posts... 

 

 

You may do better in Your recovery,  limiting Your exposure to this website.

You have everything You need to know.

 

 

 

[Rozon1]

I had a breakdown. It’s my only outlet. It’s the only place I can go and people understand me. Or don’t. I sometimes wonder if people have had it worse than me. Then you guys say people have had it worse. Just this constant restlessness. Never tired. The human can only take so much. I’d rather feel doped up on drugs then have to go through constant restlessness. I’m self aware of my actions. As self destructive as they might seem, it’s just my natural instincts. Excuse or not. I wish I could help it. Maybe someone can look back on my thread and see that they’re not alone in their suffering. I’m using you guys as a crutch and I’m sorry. I can’t imagine someone going through what I am and not ask constantly for reassurance. I’m not crazy. This isn’t me. I just know I don’t want to be like this and I’m confused. 
 

you guys talk sense back into me. 
 

I’m a human. I can report, I have had almost no anxiety after that post. Still feel restless. @mstimc I’m going to keep that memory and continue to know there is another side to all of this. Might not be all sunshine but surely it’s going to be better than this. I’ll report my daily symptoms when I have them tomorrow. Thanks guys 

[Altostrata]

We understand you and we are concerned about you. I think Colonial has hit on it, your constant ruminations about how bad you have it ARE your problem.

 

Reduce those ruminations and you will be on your way to coping with your own self-sabotaging habits of mind.

 

We're not going to enable your self-sabotaging habits of mind. As I've said before, I don't want to see you complaining about your symptoms, I want to see you posting about how you applied a coping skill.

 

What coping skill have you used in the last 24 hours? From now on, every post from you needs to contain a report about how you're using a coping skill.

 

If you want to continue to post about your ruminations, please join patientslikeme.com or depressionforums.org

[Rozon1]

Thanks @Altostrata for caring. That’s means much. More specifically because you’re not enabling me which I find it important. You as well @Colonial for donating your time. I wish I could “man up” but I’m doing everything I can to stay resilient as possible! For me, my girl and future survivors. Hope you guys are well . 

 

my day yesterday:

12- slept, 

2 am - woke up, felt awake

2:30 am - went back to sleep 

6 am - woke back up, still don’t feel tired but feel back asleep

8:30 am woke up - anxiety, can’t go back to sleep

9:30 - go to work. At work until 3 pm. Constant thoughts of never getting better and had a break down

4 pm - able to go to brothers work to help him do some light work. 
5pm - able to have what seemed more normal bowel movements. Not the first time. Still constipated.

6pm - 10pm still feel off and restless but almost no anxiety. Although the normal thoughts of “how long am I gunna be restless”. Ruminating  if you will.

 

11pm - still have weird dry cough that hasn’t completely subsided. Still restless. Not even close to tired.

 

12 - fell asleep , woke up maybe twice in the night. Still felt restless. Barely remember. Weird dreams per usual. 
 

8 am - wake up, mild anxiety compared to the last 3 months.. still alarming anxiety that has calmed down but still there until now. Restless and constipation. 

will update tomorrow. Been better at calming myself down the last few days with blips I’d break downs. 

 

[mstimc]

2 hours ago, Altostrata said:

We understand you and we are concerned about you. I think Colonial has hit on it, your constant ruminations about how bad you have it ARE your problem.

 

Reduce those ruminations and you will be on your way to coping with your own self-sabotaging habits of mind.

 

We're not going to enable your self-sabotaging habits of mind. As I've said before, I don't want to see you complaining about your symptoms, I want to see you posting about how you applied a coping skill.

 

What coping skill have you used in the last 24 hours? From now on, every post from you needs to contain a report about how you're using a coping skill.

 

If you want to continue to post about your ruminations, please join patientslikeme.com or depressionforums.org

 

1 hour ago, Rozon1 said:

Thanks @Altostrata for caring. That’s means much. More specifically because you’re not enabling me which I find it important. You as well @Colonial for donating your time. I wish I could “man up” but I’m doing everything I can to stay resilient as possible! For me, my girl and future survivors. Hope you guys are well . 

 

 

will update tomorrow. Been better at calming myself down the last few days with blips I’d break downs. 

 

1 hour ago, Rozon1 said:

 

 

Rozon

 

Great to hear you;re trying to take Alto's and Colonial's advice and calming.  What are you doing to do that?

[Colonial]

About 7 hours sleep, that's great! Broken up, but still good.

Not feeling tired is not a WD Symptom.

As long as your sleeping 6 hours most nights, the "Not feeling tired" is irrelevant, and could just be the "normal" experience of coming back to life undrugged.

You have to remember the drugs make us sedated, so what You are experiencing is not necessarily bad or a WD symptom, it's your body returning to its "non sedated state"

Please don't confuse returning to "normal" as a WD Symptom.

The entire point of Withdrawal is to come "alive' again, and for many people we don't "need" as much sleep or "feel" as tired as we did before.

Its called "returning to normal"

 

More normal bowel movements is good too.  What are You doing about the constipation other than worrying?

Did the doctor suggest an over the counter product?

Normally we try to avoid other products but it might be worth trying something than worrying all the time about it.

 

[Rozon1]

Hey @mstimc I’m just re navigating my thought process. Directing my thoughts else where. Maybe get out of the house if I can. I think it’s a mixture of the withdrawl process healing and my thoughts. 

 

@Colonial when I say I don’t feel tired, I mean, I literally never feel tired. Even when I start to get ready for sleep. My body has a “on” switch and doesn’t ever relax. I don’t even know how I fall asleep. I just do. Wish I could explain it to you but that’s the best I got. I’m constantly restless for the most part. As sedated as I was on the drugs this is the total opposite. It feels anything but normal. When I wake up, My body is on high alert immediately. It’s like I never even slept. Not groggy. Not tired. Don’t even have anxiety.  It’s like you said, my nervous system is being pulled in a million directions. It’s doesn’t know how to relax right now. Probably why I’m experiencing most of these symptoms. 

 

As I said earlier, I’m not worrying about it as much(although it’s impossible not to worry about it all.) But it seems to help and re direct my thoughts elsewhere. 
 

In regards to the constipation, they just recommend over the counter products. It’s actually the least of my WD symptom worry but I’ll be buying some OTC products for it in the next day or two since the last two days haven’t been so bad. 
 

hopefully, like you said, this is my bodies way of working out the drugs and trying to regulate itself 

 

 

[Colonial]

Well, you don't "need" to feel tired as long as your sleeping.

This is such a bizarre thing to be worried about, I don't think it's as much WD related as it's OCD related.

Your fixating on something that not relevant and won't let it go.

You have to start differentiating between withdrawal symptoms and other issues.

 

You say its the "least" of your WD symptoms, but again, its something your constantly writing about.

We cant assist you if you can't properly "triage" your own suffering.

If something really is the "least of your wd worry" than don't keep posting about it incessantly.

 

Alto asked for every report to post how your implementing a coping skill.

Give yourself some time to ponder this, and next time you reply, post how You can go about not "worrying" about supposed "symptoms" that you claim are the least of your worries, or how you can go about not being so obsessed with not "feeling" tired.

 

Most of your complaints are about "feelings", not actual WD Symptoms.

What I think is happening, is Your brain, no longer so drugged as it was before, is coming back to it's normal state and your overwhelmed by "Sensory normal".

If your having OCD issues as before you took the medication, you need to figure out ways to cope with that.

But you can't confuse obsessively worrying about things with that being a WD Symptom.

 

You might need a website that better addresses obsessively worrying over insignificant things, such as not  "feeling" tired or not or "worries" over bowel movements.

 

 

[Altostrata]

Your symptoms do not seem like severe withdrawal syndrome to me.

 

2 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

Constant thoughts of never getting better and had a break down

 

This is under your control. What are you doing to manage these thoughts?

 

You need to work on the constipation yourself. What have you done to relieve your constipation?

 

This is entirely up to you. You need to stop making your own problems and taking up our bandwidth with them.

[Rozon1]

My symptoms are exactly why am I here. They ARE bad. It’s why I’m here. I’m distracting my mind mentally and physically by going out and doing things. That’s my plan of action to help get my mind off of withdrawls. Took my daughter to my friends to play with his daughter and played a few games with friend. Helped distract my mind. These things are helping but finding it impossible to not think about it at all. 

 

11 am. - fall asleep

11:30 am woken by my dad because I was sleeping in his bed. 
12 am - fall asleep again. Broken sleep throughout the night. Can’t really tell you what times I woke up.

9 am woken up. Alert, anxious and depressed. 

10 am - body feels tense, cough still persists, this lasts throughout the entire day.  Doesn’t settle. 
11am take daughter on a walk. Unable to have much of any emotion. I did randomly cry while walking, which was nice. 

12pm - 7 pm go to friends house, talk to him over 30 minutes about what’s going on. Seems like my brain eventually gets exhausted and it mentally hurts to talk longer than 30 minutes. Still feel alert, my body is never comfortable. Uncomfortable throbbing pain in my buttox. Specifically where it seems the constipation to affecting me. 
8 pm - bought laxatives. 
current - relatively calm but not relaxed. Body on high alert, not tired, throbbing pain(2/10) in my buttox. 
 

 

[Altostrata]

Good for you, sounds like you are working on managing your psychological symptoms.

 

That symptom pattern seems to be related to your living situation. If you're having difficulty sleeping, keeping a regular sleep schedule in your own bed will help improve your sleep.

 

Take a good look at the thoughts you have when you feel depressed or anxious. Are they familiar thoughts? If so, they are habits of mind that you've probably had in some form for many years. Consider using coping skills to change your habits of mind.

 

Those symptom notes do not mention "restlessness." Perhaps it was not much of a problem yesterday. How much exercise do you get, ordinarily?

 

We don't treat constipation or pain from hemorrhoids here. Please see your GP, a gastroenterologist, or use common sense to manage those symptoms, as they seem to be central to your not feeling well. There is no need to share detail here about pain in your buttocks.

[Rozon1]

when I have depressed thoughts, the last two day’s, I just tell myself, this WD will get better in time and my anxiety and depression gets a bit better. Distracting myself by doing something. 

 

oh damn, @Altostrata good catch. I must’ve removed it on accident. Restlessness is everyday. Body is tense. I’ll be sure to include that next time.  The best way I can describe it, is that when I should be tired, I’m not. Infact, I’m never tired. I’m just on auto pilot everyday. Hard to explain.

 

 I can’t excercise for too long. Walking is my best option. My anxiety starts to ramp up if I get too excited. 

 

The more sleep I get, the better I am the next day in regards to my anxiety. (unfortunately I can’t control the quality of sleep. Including a mask and dark room). I have a regular sleep schedule. I fall asleep around the same time every night. In my own bed. 
 

I’ll update tomorrow. 

[Altostrata]

14 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

The best way I can describe it, is that when I should be tired, I’m not. Infact, I’m never tired. 

 

This is a common withdrawal symptom, often accompanied by sleep problems. Please do NOT report this as restlessness.

 

Do as much gentle walking as you can. Can you use a stationary bike? That might help, too.

 

Improving your sleep is a gradual process. Sounds like you're making progress. Keep it up.

[Rozon1]

Will do @Altostrata. Sometimes I feel like I have to fidget. Like move my legs. Wondering if it’s akathesia? Either way, thank you for updating with me, alto! No, I can’t use a stationary bike but I’ll continue to be gentle with walking. 
 

Update tomorrow! 

[Altostrata]

Your legs may be telling you that they need exercise every day. Please try to do this, it's good for you in so many ways.

 

You might do leg stretches every day, too. There are many videos for this.

[Rozon1]

Knock on wood but today’s anxiety has been at a 2/10.

 

2 am- slept

3 am - woke up dehydrated. Seems to be happening a lot more lately
310 am - went back to sleep

7 am - woke up but went to sleep almost immediately after

 9 am - Woke up,still sad that my physical withdrawls are still here but much more optimistic that I don’t have overwhelming uncontrollable doom or terror(I don’t care what coping skill you have, you can’t shake that feeling. And if you can, you’re Superman or super women.). Super happy about that. 
11 am - go out side for a walk, feel fine.  During my walk Uncontrollable cough and chest tightness. Concerned about it but I know it’s WD since all tests came back normal. 
12 am - rest of the day - mild anxiety and concerned about my WD but I’m getting myself back little by little I can tell. Even with these withdrawls, my mind has slowly been coming back. I’ve come a long way since the beginning. Thank you @Altostrata

 

I do have one question. Do you think me going up and down on dosages caused nothing only withdrawls but a poop out on the medication? I remember you say somewhere that if you have an adverse reaction it’s typically a stimulated feeling and less of a tired feeling? I legit felt “doped up” the last 4 months after changing my dosages up and down. I was stimulated and dead tired at the same time. Just curious. Thanks! Will update tomorrow! 

edit; I hope everyone’s weather is as good. The sunny days def help this process a little less painful. 

 

[Colonial]

3 am - woke up dehydrated. Seems to be happening a lot more lately

 

Hey Buddy,

 

"Dehydration is the most common cause of constipation, and drinking plenty of water can often help to ease or resolve the symptoms. When a person becomes dehydrated, their intestines cannot add enough water to stools. This results in hard, dry, and lumpy stools and can lead to constipation."

 

I would assume dehydration would also keep You coughing, as Your pathways are dry and thus irritated.  Remember You body can only absorb as small amount of water every half hour.  So if you drink an entire bottle of 16 ounces at once, your probably only absorbing half of it and wasting the other half.  8 Ounces every half hour for the course of 14 days will help.  It only takes 48 hours to dehydrate but 2 weeks to fully hydrate Your cells.  Remember, You can be dehydrated long before You feel thirsty, and the drug changes may have led to behavioral changes where Your not drinking pure water enough. Try that for a few weeks and see how it goes.

 

[Rozon1]

Good look @Colonial. I stay plenty hydrated but possibly Not enough. I’ll continue to monitor my liquid intake. Def seems like a possibility. I had severe dry mouth at the beginning off all of this, which is another tall tell sign of dehydration. Not ruling that out at all. I’ll continue to drink as much as possible 

[Altostrata]

Colonial brings up some good points.

 

8 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

I was stimulated and dead tired at the same time.

 

This is very, very typical of withdrawal syndrome or the activation that is caused by going on and off drugs. Going on and off drugs is wearing on your nervous system.

[Rozon1]

Hey guys! Another update! 
 

so the anxiety has been 2/10 the past two days. When the anxiety is gone, I can actually feel the havoc this has done to my body. Like, I think the brain can only focus on one thing at a time. 
 

super happy the anxiety has calmed down.

 

woke up throughout the night with constant thirst. Even though I hydrated appropriately throughout the day. My mouth is dry. Constant dehydration. Went to get pedialite. Gunna try to re hydrate. My body is going through so many changes. These are some new symptoms. Maybe it’s a good sign 

[Colonial]

Being thirsty can be a good sign, as Your brain could be trying to rebuild neural pathways, etc.  

I had extreme thirst at one point from the Wellbutrin Withdrawal that lasted about 6 weeks I think. Mouth constantly dry like yourself.

Lol, it was at the time they were doing my Cortisol level test where you have to save all your urine for 24 hours and I needed 3 containers.

My doctor was shocked.  I think He started taking the situation more seriously after that, but who knows.

 

So yeah, we'll go with thirst being a sign Your body's trying to getting better and needs water to heal. 🤠

 

[Altostrata]

The thirst could be a wave. Try good hydration for a while.

 

When was the last time you had a full medical checkup?

[Rozon1]

@Colonial yea this whole thing is bizarre. But I’ll keep hydrating.

 

@Altostrata what do you mean by full medical checkup? Three months ago I got a CBC as well as a physical checkup by my doctor. Is there anything else I should be looking at?

[Altostrata]

Being very thirsty can be a sign of some illnesses. But please continue to hydrate, could be your body telling you it wants more water.

[Rozon1]

Hey @Altostrata that’s what concerns me. I was completely healthy before all of this dropping off the medication experience. Literally healthy as can be. Active 31 year old and now. I contribute it to WD. If I keep telling myself that I can power through but I don’t know if I’m powering through blindly when I should be doing something. It’s not even my anxiety talking at this point. That’s almost gone. I’m just severely concerned for my body. It’s not functioning anywhere near normal. Hmmm. Going back to the medication sounds tempting but I’m 4 1/2 months out. 
 

I set up an appointment for tomorrow to get further testing. 

[mstimc]

Rozon, it sounds like you're making progress. Sounds like you've accepted the fact your physical symptoms and mental state are linked.  Building on what Colonial and Alto have said, thirst can be another expression of the your anxious state.  I found myself drinking a lot more water in WD as well.  I think my body was so tense most of the time (restlessness as you call it), I was burning water faster than I realized and needed more water.   Give yourself some credit; you're not powering through it blindly; you're trying to make informed decisions and do what's best for you and your family.  You will get there. 

[Colonial]

No harm in having another CBC done after 3 months but if You've been to the Doctor recently which I think You have, and He listened to Your lungs and didn't notice anything out of line it's probably the WD.  But Nothing is "Bizarre" in WD. If You had the CBC before the symptoms you can ask to run it again, but if He already ran it AFTER the WD Symptoms it's likely that. But considering everything You've learned here it really shouldn't "concern" You

[Rozon1]

Thanks @mstimc! Yes, the panic anxiety has subsided for the most part. Now its more of a normal “what the hell.. my body is going through some scary ****” anxiety. Still not panicked about it which shows how far I’ve come. Thanks for the support brotha.

 

havent woken up in a terror or anxiety state in 3 days. That is progress 

 

yea @Colonial you’re right. I shouldn’t be surprised by any of this. I just know it’s not healthy and hope to not have long term health problems from it 

[mstimc]

My son had problems with anxiety when he was in his late teens.  Once he came home from a summer job in a total panic.  I got him on our treadmill and talked to him while he burned off the physical energy.  After a half hour he was more relaxed, physically and emotionally.   I very much doubt it'll cause any permanent damage.  I'm a lot older than you (59) and I'm probably in better physical shape than I was in my mid-30's, and in between then and now I endured WD and recovery.   When I was in WD, my blood pressure was borderline, usually about 124/63.  Last year it was 108/60, so if three years of withdrawal and recovery caused me any damage, it's was only between my ears--LOL! 

[Altostrata]

Rozon, you're going through a rough patch, recovering from an accident caused by drugs.

 

You may feel "not normal" but that doesn't mean you have permanent damage. Recovery is a process. Listen to your body, take care of it, it wants to get back to normal.

 

It's unlikely you've suddenly developed a medical illness, but not impossible. Please do not work yourself into anxiety over this.

 

If you haven't been drinking enough water or getting enough exercise, that could explain a lot. If you have seasonal allergies and are mouth-breathing, that could be making your mouth and throat dry.

[Rozon1]

@mstimc I’m gunna go for a run later tonight. I haven’t really tried because I was afraid of it being over stimulating but I have nothing to lose. I’ll give it a go. I don’t feel fatigued or anything.

 

@Altostrata I agree completely. What you wrote is exactly what I believe. I definitely think it’s highly unlikely that I came down with a disease all of a sudden in my early 30s with no family history of diseases. Thanks for the advice. I’ll continue listening to my body. My cough comes from the chest and not the throat. It’s like when I yawn. I can’t yawn. When I cough, I can’t fully cough. I think the more I recover the more relaxed my body will be and these things will resolve in time 

[mstimc]

Just now, Rozon1 said:

@mstimc I’m gunna go for a run later tonight. I haven’t really tried because I was afraid of it being over stimulating but I have nothing to lose. I’ll give it a go. I don’t feel fatigued or anything.

 

@Altostrata I agree completely. What you wrote is exactly what I believe. I definitely think it’s highly unlikely that I came down with a disease all of a sudden in my early 30s with no family history of diseases. Thanks for the advice. I’ll continue listening to my body. My cough comes from the chest and not the throat. It’s like when I yawn. I can’t yawn. When I cough, I can’t fully cough. I think the more I recover the more relaxed my body will be and these things will resolve in time 

Maybe a brisk walk just to see how you do?  Try to do deep breathing to see if you can "open up" your chest.  And stay away from everyone else!

[Colonial]

9 minutes ago, Rozon1 said:

It’s like when I yawn. I can’t yawn. When I cough, I can’t fully cough.

 

This sound related to a WD Symptom I had to the Paxil.  My throat would go numb after a drop for 5-7 days.  Made it hard to swallow water or food the first few times.

Swallowing, Yawning, coughing,  their all, to some extent, reflex related, which can make normal functioning a bit harder.  The good news is you've had it long enough now to know it's not putting your life at risk, and the longer we have a symptom, we learn to work around it.

[Rozon1]

Hey @mstimc I walk everyday around the neighborhood and it usually doesn’t make me feel better. I’ll run today., I’ll let you know how it goes!

[mstimc]

👌