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Ryguy

Loss of trust

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Ryguy

I feel ive lost trust in both all medicine and the medical establishment and in so called authorities in their respective domains, does anyone else feel this way? Also my parents put me on this stuff when i was a minor so ive lost trust in them too and adults in general, though i still love them, i resent them as well. Anyone experiencing this complete loss of trust? 


Was put on SSRIS at age 18, came off at 20 due to side effects, have been in withdrawal ever since, am 27 now. 7 years of protracted withdrawal. have not been able to work. I didnt taper, i basically came off cold turkey in less than a month....no one informed me of anything, including protracted withdrawal . my symptoms include absolutely everything you can imagine, you name it, i have it 

 

 

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Sleepan

@Ryguy  I agree.  No one can trust anybody fully.  Not even oneself, honestly.  I often torture myself in thinking about the past, things I don't forgive others and myself.  It is very painful and is is worth it to think about it now?  I hope you will not mind if I share with you how I try to deal with this anxiety of having no one to trust fully, not even oneself.

 

I read that negative thoughts about the past prevents one to live fully and be open to opportunities.  Living in our heads in the past prevent us to live fully and be open to opportunities.  I discovered a few weeks ago the Full Consciousness Meditations to help one to control my negative emotions from past experience.

 

Just before I made the mistake of stopping cold turkey Amitriptyline because I've been told it was a small dose anti-anxiety pill, and nobody told me I was not supposed to take it for 30years. My prescription was renewed by probably a dozen doctors through the years.  The Amitriptyline withdrawal hell was a "bummer" for me, as I had made very healthy changes in the previous months before this mistake.  I also was able to stop early August an hypertension control pill, as I do not have hypertension anymore.  Being almost 72years old, I was so happy and thought I could still dream to live healthy more decades and just die of old age.  It was a shock when I started to be very sick with strange symptoms, and it took me a few months to have the insight it was this little pill.  Fact is, I will just have to work harder to succeed.  I think Full Consciousness Meditation will help healing my injured brain. 

 

I have also another goal:  to do a water fasting for at least 7 days.  I did two 4 days water fasting and it is very liberating from all addictions to unhealthy stuff, and you're not really hungry.  After 2-3 days, the body starts autophagy (i.e. finding food within the body) of the bad cells, anywhere in the body, usually what is most urgent for the body to survive.  It is very natural for all living beings to fast, but modern men have to re-learn it.  It is quite safe, generally.  There's a lot of good info available on Internet and also on YouTube.

 

I bought some Barley Grass Powder.  It is a Superfood.  Not expensive.  I'll test it for awhile.

 

P.S.  I think Life is Beautiful.   

 

 

 

 

 


1989  Amitriptyline 25mg

2019  Amitriptyline 2x10mg Jan 

2019  Stopped Amitriptyline Cold Turkey Oct

2019  Reinstatement 25mg on Dec 21 

2019 10mg - 15mg pm on Dec 30

2020 7.5mg am and 15mg pm on Jan 20 

2020  Titration method started Jan 21

2020 Tapered 7.5am started March 21

2020 Stabilized 4am and 15mg Aug 1st

 

Alternating Colostrum Gold, Zinc, Tonic Water, Vitamin C. Started sleeping almost full week in 10th week of reinstatement.

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Ryguy
8 minutes ago, Sleepan said:

@Ryguy  I agree.  No one can trust anybody fully.  Not even oneself, honestly.  I often torture myself in thinking about the past, things I don't forgive others and myself.  It is very painful and is is worth it to think about it now?  I hope you will not mind if I share with you how I try to deal with this anxiety of having no one to trust fully, not even oneself.

 

I read that negative thoughts about the past prevents one to live fully and be open to opportunities.  Living in our heads in the past prevent us to live fully and be open to opportunities.  I discovered a few weeks ago the Full Consciousness Meditations to help one to control my negative emotions from past experience.

 

Just before I made the mistake of stopping cold turkey Amitriptyline because I've been told it was a small dose anti-anxiety pill, and nobody told me I was not supposed to take it for 30years. My prescription was renewed by probably a dozen doctors through the years.  The Amitriptyline withdrawal hell was a "bummer" for me, as I had made very healthy changes in the previous months before this mistake.  I also was able to stop early August an hypertension control pill, as I do not have hypertension anymore.  Being almost 72years old, I was so happy and thought I could still dream to live healthy more decades and just die of old age.  It was a shock when I started to be very sick with strange symptoms, and it took me a few months to have the insight it was this little pill.  Fact is, I will just have to work harder to succeed.  I think Full Consciousness Meditation will help healing my injured brain. 

 

I have also another goal:  to do a water fasting for at least 7 days.  I did two 4 days water fasting and it is very liberating from all addictions to unhealthy stuff, and you're not really hungry.  After 2-3 days, the body starts autophagy (i.e. finding food within the body) of the bad cells, anywhere in the body, usually what is most urgent for the body to survive.  It is very natural for all living beings to fast, but modern men have to re-learn it.  It is quite safe, generally.  There's a lot of good info available on Internet and also on YouTube.

 

I bought some Barley Grass Powder.  It is a Superfood.  Not expensive.  I'll test it for awhile.

 

P.S.  I think Life is Beautiful.   

 

 

 

 

 

Are you over withdrawal? If so how long did it take you? Ill check out the meditation, also i try and fast occasionally but never been able to go a full week yet, thanks for the reply 


Was put on SSRIS at age 18, came off at 20 due to side effects, have been in withdrawal ever since, am 27 now. 7 years of protracted withdrawal. have not been able to work. I didnt taper, i basically came off cold turkey in less than a month....no one informed me of anything, including protracted withdrawal . my symptoms include absolutely everything you can imagine, you name it, i have it 

 

 

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icequeen

No wonder you lost trust! How could you not? But you are still young. Please hold out and try to trust the healing capacity of the young body! 

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Sleepan

@Ryguy  Any length of Fasting over 16hrs give time to the body to detoxify and heal some, until you eat again.  3-4 Days is more efficient.  It is a good option when everything else fails.  In the meantime, meditation is a great workout for the brain, and this is why I intend to make an extra effort.  I did not meditate last three days, and I'm in a wave again, with no sleep the last two nights. I'd better do a 5-10 minutes after I finished writing this to you to help me sleeping tonight.

 

It could take me a few years before I'm over withdrawal as I have been told few weeks ago by excellent SA veteran members here to not start the taper before one year because of my old age.  I reinstated Amitriptyline Dec 21st, after stopping it abruptly early October.  At first, I thought I had E-Coli followed by total insomnia starting early December.  Finally, I found out I made a big mistake and started reinstate it Dec 21st.  At first, it did not work, then I start to sleep a little.  Now, I sleep 4-5 days and get a weekly wave of 2-3 days.  Not sure if it means I'm stabilized.  Waves are said to be time the brain is working to heal itself.  Then we have a respite where we feel a little better each time.  I try to help the process by drinking one homemade vegetable juice per day to get a lot of minerals.  

 

Thank you Ryguy.  

 


1989  Amitriptyline 25mg

2019  Amitriptyline 2x10mg Jan 

2019  Stopped Amitriptyline Cold Turkey Oct

2019  Reinstatement 25mg on Dec 21 

2019 10mg - 15mg pm on Dec 30

2020 7.5mg am and 15mg pm on Jan 20 

2020  Titration method started Jan 21

2020 Tapered 7.5am started March 21

2020 Stabilized 4am and 15mg Aug 1st

 

Alternating Colostrum Gold, Zinc, Tonic Water, Vitamin C. Started sleeping almost full week in 10th week of reinstatement.

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Ryguy
11 hours ago, Sleepan said:

@Ryguy  Any length of Fasting over 16hrs give time to the body to detoxify and heal some, until you eat again.  3-4 Days is more efficient.  It is a good option when everything else fails.  In the meantime, meditation is a great workout for the brain, and this is why I intend to make an extra effort.  I did not meditate last three days, and I'm in a wave again, with no sleep the last two nights. I'd better do a 5-10 minutes after I finished writing this to you to help me sleeping tonight.

 

It could take me a few years before I'm over withdrawal as I have been told few weeks ago by excellent SA veteran members here to not start the taper before one year because of my old age.  I reinstated Amitriptyline Dec 21st, after stopping it abruptly early October.  At first, I thought I had E-Coli followed by total insomnia starting early December.  Finally, I found out I made a big mistake and started reinstate it Dec 21st.  At first, it did not work, then I start to sleep a little.  Now, I sleep 4-5 days and get a weekly wave of 2-3 days.  Not sure if it means I'm stabilized.  Waves are said to be time the brain is working to heal itself.  Then we have a respite where we feel a little better each time.  I try to help the process by drinking one homemade vegetable juice per day to get a lot of minerals.  

 

Thank you Ryguy.  

 

Wow all great advice, thanks for replying. Im going to try fasting and some juicing too i guess


Was put on SSRIS at age 18, came off at 20 due to side effects, have been in withdrawal ever since, am 27 now. 7 years of protracted withdrawal. have not been able to work. I didnt taper, i basically came off cold turkey in less than a month....no one informed me of anything, including protracted withdrawal . my symptoms include absolutely everything you can imagine, you name it, i have it 

 

 

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Sleepan

@Ryguy  I meditated last evening a short guided meditation video and within minutes, I felt relief in clearing my brain from the fog and tightness, like fresh air entering it.  I did sleep 6 hours.  I needed more sleep, but I awoke with negative thoughts.

 

I did not try to fast since I stopped abruptly Amitriptyline.  I think it could be very helpful or it could be very unhelpful.  There are many posts from SA members about fasting that I did not read yet.  I'll start my investigation to learn if it helped someone who suffer from withdrawal.  I'll share with you any good finds about it.  Most important is to listen to your body if you start a Fasting of more than 24hours, as every one's body is different and what is bad for one can be good for another.  A 36hrs dry fasting (stopping to eat at 8pm let's say on the 15th, then starting to eat again 8am on the 17th) is as efficient as a 3-4 days water fasting.  One hygienist said if one drink just a little will not make the body stop detoxify, as much as drinking many full glasses of water during the day.  Certainly meditations must help a lot during fasting. I read some fasting clinics have meditations classes. It is better to have a good plan in advance on how to do it, since we are not perfectly healthy and we do not have a lengthy experience in fasting either.


1989  Amitriptyline 25mg

2019  Amitriptyline 2x10mg Jan 

2019  Stopped Amitriptyline Cold Turkey Oct

2019  Reinstatement 25mg on Dec 21 

2019 10mg - 15mg pm on Dec 30

2020 7.5mg am and 15mg pm on Jan 20 

2020  Titration method started Jan 21

2020 Tapered 7.5am started March 21

2020 Stabilized 4am and 15mg Aug 1st

 

Alternating Colostrum Gold, Zinc, Tonic Water, Vitamin C. Started sleeping almost full week in 10th week of reinstatement.

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Sleepan

@Ryguy  I found an inspiring success story from one who underwent fasting(s), did meditations:  "Success Story from Sydney - Athosverona". 

 

To access this post, search @Athosverona .  She share a list of what healed her.  Great post.  Also, the search give access to members who congratulate her (hope it is a she) and asked for more info.  I did not check those questions yet, but many could be very useful.  

 

For guided meditation videos, Eckhart Tolle is a good start.  Check also videos by him explaining meditations. 

 

I wish you a great day @Ryguy.

 


1989  Amitriptyline 25mg

2019  Amitriptyline 2x10mg Jan 

2019  Stopped Amitriptyline Cold Turkey Oct

2019  Reinstatement 25mg on Dec 21 

2019 10mg - 15mg pm on Dec 30

2020 7.5mg am and 15mg pm on Jan 20 

2020  Titration method started Jan 21

2020 Tapered 7.5am started March 21

2020 Stabilized 4am and 15mg Aug 1st

 

Alternating Colostrum Gold, Zinc, Tonic Water, Vitamin C. Started sleeping almost full week in 10th week of reinstatement.

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Ryguy
28 minutes ago, Sleepan said:

@Ryguy  I found an inspiring success story from one who underwent fasting(s), did meditations:  "Success Story from Sydney - Athosverona". 

 

To access this post, search @Athosverona .  She share a list of what healed her.  Great post.  Also, the search give access to members who congratulate her (hope it is a she) and asked for more info.  I did not check those questions yet, but many could be very useful.  

 

For guided meditation videos, Eckhart Tolle is a good start.  Check also videos by him explaining meditations. 

 

I wish you a great day @Ryguy.

 

Incredible advice, im looking into that persons story and investigating the topic of fasting much more, i feel always a bit more clean when i fast all day and eat only one meal, thanks again for all the info, ill keep in touch regarding my progress 


Was put on SSRIS at age 18, came off at 20 due to side effects, have been in withdrawal ever since, am 27 now. 7 years of protracted withdrawal. have not been able to work. I didnt taper, i basically came off cold turkey in less than a month....no one informed me of anything, including protracted withdrawal . my symptoms include absolutely everything you can imagine, you name it, i have it 

 

 

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Sleepan

@Ryguy   You see:  I trust you and you trust me.  Is it not wonderful?   I look forward reading on your progress.  I'm sure you will teach me some.  Every one of us has a precious pearl of knowledge. 


1989  Amitriptyline 25mg

2019  Amitriptyline 2x10mg Jan 

2019  Stopped Amitriptyline Cold Turkey Oct

2019  Reinstatement 25mg on Dec 21 

2019 10mg - 15mg pm on Dec 30

2020 7.5mg am and 15mg pm on Jan 20 

2020  Titration method started Jan 21

2020 Tapered 7.5am started March 21

2020 Stabilized 4am and 15mg Aug 1st

 

Alternating Colostrum Gold, Zinc, Tonic Water, Vitamin C. Started sleeping almost full week in 10th week of reinstatement.

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Gussy

Yes I have lost almost all trust in doctors. I pity them now for not knowing what they should about what they're prescribing.


Gussy

On effexor for at least 11 years. Last few years going through ivf treatment dose has ranged from 150-200mg. Mainly 150 though. Tapered from about 175mg mid jan 2017 to zero mid april 2017. 2&1/2 months of straight hell. Getting there now though.

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tiredtess

I do find it difficult to know who to trust and believe. Years of being told and accepting I have a "chemical imbalance" Now after Drs not acknowledging withdrawal problems I am told that I need at least six months for symptoms to ease. I really despair of sometimes. I am of an age when I probably will need GP help so don't want to antagonise them by being judged as non-compliant where Psych drugs are concerned. I live in the country side and have been with my GP surgery all my life and they seem to have some connection to other nearby ones so it is difficult to change Dr. Years ago they were family doctors but I now feel that sort of care has disappeared especially when told to make a new appointment if I wanted to talk about any other problems as my 10 mins was up! (swear it was about 7 or 8).

Anyway not coping terribly well but persevering.

t

 

40 plus years of psych meds

off all approx 8 weeks


ADs for over 40 yrs most of that time on Parstelin an MAOI. In recent years have taken Citalopram for a short time then Venlafaxine ER 75mg then 37.5. Tapered down from that over many months until zero about three weeks a go.

Brain zaps (big and small), tearful, stomach upset, aches and pains etc

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