Mimi79: Will I survive?

[Mimi79]

Hi @Frogie

Thank you very much for your help.

 I am in a bad situation, as I have more and more the feeling that my body really don’t react well to the Ativan. 
I am on this med only since 6 weeks and I feel more and more depressed. 
I am not really stable on it, but I don’t have the feeling I will be one day.

And I really want this drug out of my system as soon as possible.

I have started to reduce 0,01mgai each 10 days. So tomorrow, I will reduce to 0,27mg.

I am splitting my dose in two, with 12 hours in between.

I am wondering, is it better to dose it 3 times per day? 
I will probably switch to a liquid form in the next week, because dry cutting these tiny pills is not and easy task.  
If it goes well with the liquid form, maybe I will try the DLMT. Will see.

 

Thank you for your help. It is a really hard time for me now. Since the last 6 weeks, my life has collapsed. Taking this pill is the worst mistake of ALL my life!! I knew it was addictive, so I was only using it prn, never more then twice a week, but I became dependent on it despite being cautious.

I know now it was a very bad mistake...

 

I really hope I will be able to stop it and that I won’t have permanent dommage in my brain...

 

Mimi79

[Hanna72]

My dear courageous @Mimi79

I am so saddened to hear about your pain and struggles 

My heart goes out to you and I know what a dark and scary place this is. 
One thing I want to point out to you is that you can NOT beat yourself up on being dependent on Ativan. You made a decision to help yourself  when you experienced suffering and it is only human to want to feel better. 
I for sure have beaten myself up as well, so I get it.

You might want to shift your thinking about your decision.

Think of it as a solution that you had made that was supposed to benefit you. You made that decision in good faith. But it didn’t go as planned so, now you are making a decision to fix it and that is the most important thing you can emphasises on, you are able to fix it and you will. You’ve got frogie by your side🙂
Sending hugs your way and praying for a relief for you.

Youve got this Mimi 💪❤️

 

[Rosetta]

Mimi,

I recommend that you wait until you get liquid to reduce.  If your dose is inconsistent that is more harmful, and I can’t imagine getting a consistent dose when dry cutting those tiny amounts.  I understand about the depression.  It’s scary, but making changes is making things worse for you I’m afraid.

Rosetta

[Frogie]

Hi @Mimi79

 

You can’t blame yourself for trying to help yourself in anyway possible. Getting dependent on Ativan is very easy to do. I was dependent on Xanax for 20+ years. You’ve been on a relatively short time, so I think you could try a little faster taper and see how it goes.

 

You might try 2% a week for a couple of weeks and see how that goes. That’s not quite 10% a month, but like I said, you may be able to handle a little  faster taper since you have been on a short time. And we can always adjust it accordingly. I would suggest getting liquid if at all possible. It’s much easier to taper from.

 

What do you think about trying this and letting me know how you do?

 

Please keep in touch with me. You will come out of this. Just hold strong😊

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

 

 

 

 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Frogie

[Mimi79]

Hi everyone,

I am in big troubles.

My GP want me to stop Cold Turkey my lorazepam. I tried to explain her that I have become rapidly dependent and that I am very sensitive and cannot stop it this way, but she didn’t believe it is possible. 
She stated that this short time use and low « homeopathic » dose can’t be a problem (I am using her words). And because I was complaining about the bad side effects of this drug on me, she said « just stop it! ».

 

I am really panicking, because I am trying to reduce it and even small 0,01mgai reductions are causing me a lot of symptoms. A Cold Turkey would kill me!

 

Unfortunately, I cannot change my GP (Disadvantage of public health care system). 
 

How can I explain to her that I need TIME to taper off? What words I have to use to convince her? 
Of course, she is trying to give me other meds to counteract my WD symptoms from lorazepam. I am lying to her  (she has put me on seroquel, then Wellbutrin). Of course I haven’t touch to those. 

For now, I am not able to work, and she is the one that fill my insurance papers to be off work. I have to play the game...

 

It is awful. I don’t have any support from my GP, no support from anyone. Even my husband want me to stop it right away. He still has this magical thinking that if I stop the lorazepam, I will be healed!

 

It is far the lowest I have been in all my life!! 
What a big mistake I have made to take this @&$#%* Lorazepam!!! I will never forgive myself!

 

Sorry for that, I needed to vent a bit.

 

Thank you everyone...

 

Mimi79

 

 

[Rosetta]

Mimi,
 

While you are waiting for a Mod to help, I will leave some links here.  I did not taper benzos.  I’m not very familiar with that process, but here are my thoughts.  Wait for a Mod to check my suggestions and then, if I am not mistaken, maybe you could show these links to your husband.  If he could agree with you and help you talk to your doctor, maybe that would help.

 

The only doctor in Canada who is listed on the Benzodiazepine Information Coalition’s Website is James M. Wright, M.D., Ph.D., FRCPC in Vancouver (604) 822-2575.  He is at the University of British Columbia in the Anesthesiology, Pharmacology and Therapeutics Dept.

 

The website where I found his name  is here

 

https://www.benzoinfo.com
 

I think it’s worth a shot if you called him, told him he’s the only doctor on the Benzo Info Coalition website in Canada, that you are suffering antidepressant withdrawal and are addicted to Ativan as a result after a few months of use.  Tell him you have not been switched to diazepam (Valium), but are being ask to cold turkey Ativan at what you believe is the equivalent of over 2 mg of diazepam (see below). (Do you have akathisia? If so, tell him that.)  Ask him if there is anything you should do differently to get through to your doctor.  Perhaps he would offer to help you explain the fact that 0.28 mg of lorazepam (Ativan) is significant.  If he doesn’t, I would ask him, point blank, to please do so.  All he can say is no.  You have nothing to lose.
 

This may not apply to you if you are making a liquid out of Ativan:  I’m no expert, but my understanding is that tapering Ativan is not considered ideal.  I believe that a change over to diazepam (Valium) in a Liquid is considered to be better (if that change can be tolerated.) One reason is that diazepam is a longer acting drug.  Also, it can be obtained in amounts that make the end of the taper easier.  Again, I’m not well-versed in this subject, but The Ashton Manual (Dr. Heather Ashton) recommends this change before tapering.  
 

Also, what may be an important point of which your doctor is unaware, the Ashton Manual recommends stopping at 1 mg of diazepam, (but we have the availability of technology now to go much lower in dose.)
 

You know about the Ashton Manual, I presume.  This section on withdrawal is below.  The Ashton Manual is not state-of-the-art in all respects.  SA’s advice is in conflict with parts of it, and that’s very important.  However, here is my big point: lorazepam (Ativan) at 0.28 mg is (according to the calculator linked below) the equivalent to 2.1 mg of diazepam.  (This calculator very clearly states that it is not reliable for various reasons including the way different people process drugs.  It is what I found on short timing.)
 

The idea of stopping your Ativan now if the Ashton Manual recommends ending the taper at 1 mg of diazepam — it’s clearly inadvisable.  The calculator shows that 0.12 mg of Lorazepam (Ativan) is more or less equal to 1 mg of diazepam.  You are taking more than TWICE the diazepam-equivalent last dose for an Ativan taper.  Obviously, the reason for using diazepam is because dosing 0.12 mg of anything was nearly impossible at the time the manual was written.  It’s certainly not something I would want to entrust to a compounding pharmacy considering the stakes.

Here’s part of the Ashton Manual:

 

https://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha03.htm#t4

 

Here is the calculator for the benzo/Valium equivalents: 

https://clincalc.com/Benzodiazepine/

Part of what is remarkable about the calculator is that the website goes on and on about how each person is affected by these drugs differently and that other drugs a person may be taking affect the metabolism of the benzo.  The strain on the liver is part of that variation, too.

 

Here’s a bit more I found that might help you somewhat:

 

See the second page of this pamphlet:

 

https://benzoreform.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Prescriber-Information-Pamphlet-V1.1.1-6.pdf
 

Here’s a pamphlet to coach you on how to talk to your doctor

 

https://benzoreform.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Pamphlet-Communications-Guide-V1.1.pdf
 

Both of these pamphlets came from this website: 
 

https://benzoreform.org/patients-page/

Here’s an informed consent that should be given to patients before they are prescribed benzos.  Notice that it specifically 1) mentions Ativan, 2) indicates that the dosages available are not sufficiently low enough for safe tapers, and that 3) physical dependence can occur within a matter of days.
 

https://www.benzoinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Informedconsent-1.pdf

 

And see this below about dosages of benzos available from pharmaceutical companies being too high for successful tapering.  The example given is Xanax.  A dose of 0.07 mg of Xanax is equal to (in the less than accurate calculator) 1 mg of diazepam.

 

https://www.benzoinfo.com/2018/02/06/why-currently-available-benzodiazepine-dosages-prevent-safe-withdrawal/

 

See this, too:

 

http://cepuk.org/withdrawal-advisers/

 

Try to stay calm.  You will get this worked out.  The Ashton Manual has been around a long time.  There must be a way to convince your doctor of the truth.  There is no reason to rush this, and she should be able to see that.  

 

Rosetta

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Mimi79]

Hi @Rosetta

Thank you so much for all your help and the links you provide me.

 

Unfortunately, the only Benzo-wise GP is in Vancouver, as you mentioned it, and it is at the extreme opposite end of the country (I live in Montréal , Québec). And the way our healt care system works in Canada, each province has its own health care system, so I cannot go see a GP in another province. I will try to find someone in my area.

 

The best thing would be to convince her that I need more time to taper. This is what I will try on my next appointment next week.

 

And I think I would like to stay with lorazepam, as I don’t want to make another change. If I can have a liquid formula, it will be feasible.

 

I will definitely read the links about how to talk to our doctor. Maybe it will help.

 

Thank you so much Rosetta,

 

Everyday I wake up with this feeling of being trapped in a bad nightmare. Can’t wait to see some light...

 

Mimi79
 

 

[Rosetta]

My understanding is that he is on BIC because he wants to be contacted by people who need his knowledge.  Doctors are supposed to share their knowledge with each other.  One doctor can’t know everything.  They have specialties.  They are supposed to rely on each other when they face a situation.  Your doctor probably thinks she knows more than she does.  Obviously, that’s what she thinks, and she’s mistaken.  I would call him.  There’s a reason his name is in that site.  He had to ask to have it out there.

[arbor]

Hello   @Mimi79 Yes, it sure can be a bad nightmare!  I'm really sorry that you're having to go through this, and with little assistance from your doctor.  Frogie's approach posted on April 7 still seems like a good course to consider. 

 

I'm thinking of you as you're going through this,

Arbor

[Mimi79]

Hi everyone 

I am in a pretty bad state.

I am now at 0,25 mg Ativan per day. I have a lot of symptoms, the worst is painful black depression. I am depressed almost everyday now. I know I have forced a little bit too much to decrease my Ativan, but I really don’t like to be on it and my GP push me to stop it ASAP.

Last week, I have been in a very stressful conflict with a friend/neighbor, then last weekend I have had a very bad news from my mother. Those two events have been very hard on me, they put me in a very bad place emotionally. I am now a real mess. Those events have increased my withdrawal symptoms a lot. 
Now I try to stabilize a bit and I hope it won’t take too much time... depression sucks! This is my worst symptom and I am stuck with it!!

 

Thank you and take care everyone.

 

Anne-Marie

[Rosetta]

 

I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling so bad.  I hope your mother is ok.  The physical symptoms are easier to distract from.  Are you able to play video games, by chance?  They can be better than other things for distraction.

 

 (((Anne-Marie)))  I hope it lifts soon.

 

Rosetta

[Hanna72]

Dear @Mimi79

Sorry to hear about your suffering, my heart goes out to you. Just wanted to drop by with some encouraging words, I know in the midst of feeling like you are now, we tend to get stuck in the believe that we can’t get out of the hole.

This one is for you;

 

”When you face difficult times,

know that challenging times are not sent to destroy you.

They are sent to promote, increase and strengthen you”

 

My thoughts are with you, it will get better mimi🙏

[Mimi79]

@Rosetta and @Hanna72

Thank you so much for your kind words!

It means a lot to me to feel that somebody out there is caring!

 

I can say that I am in a much better place right now.

 

Few weeks ago, With all those disturbing events in my life, I’ve decided to hold my Ativan dose a bit for a while, and so far it is a good decision. I have some lingering symptoms, but they don’t prevent me to live my life. I am no longer depressed (maybe a bit sometimes, but far less than a month ago), I have more energy to do things and can function almost normally.
I will probably return to my job soon. 
I have the feeling that it will be easier to taper my Ativan now that I gave a much needed rest to my CNS. I hope so.

 

And I have found a very good distraction that help me a lot to « change the channel » when I need to. It was unexpected but it was a game changer for me. 

 

I hope your are going well you too. Summer has finally arrived here in Montreal, so it is so good to be outside in the hot sun! The restaurants are going to re-opened after 8 months of Covid19 lockdown, I will enjoy it with some friends in the next days... 

 

So yes, I feel better. Don’t know if it gonna last, but for now I don’t think too much about futur, I live in the « now ». 
 

Have a nice week dear friends and I hope to read you soon!

 

Anne-Marie

[Hanna72]

What a wonderful post mimi. You just made my day😀

[Erell]

Hello @Mimi79

 

I was thinking of you and wondering how you're doing ?

 

I'm so glad to read you felt some relief !

 

Take care ☀️

[Rosetta]

Very good news!  Enjoy the sun and time with friends.  
Rosetta

[Hanna72]

Dear @Mimi79

Hey just thought of you. How are you doing doing?

Hugs to you 💕

[Mimi79]

@Hanna72, @Erell, @Rosetta

I everyone and thank you for your caring Woods. It means a lot to me.

Since my last post, I’ve been trying to live my life as normally as I could.

I was avoiding SA because it tends to make me focus too much on my symptoms and I get discouraged by all those suffering stories.

I have been almost symptoms free for a while, but unfortunately, since my last decreased of My Ativan dose, 4 weeks ago,  I have been in a bad place. My symptoms are back and I have the feeling it is worse than ever. One of my worst symptom is depression. It is very hard for me. I have a lot of difficulties to cope and I think I am beginning to have a withdrawal « fatigue ». 
It has been 2 years now that I am in constant withdrawal and I am starting to be discouraged. 
I have this awful feeling my life is over.

Sorry for this sad post. Maybe I need some encouragement.

 

Thank you everyone for your support.

 

Bye.

 

Anne-Marie

[Rosetta]

Hi Anne-Marie,

 

I’m sorry that you have been feeling depression for the past month.  Is it every day?  Can you remember any good days in that time?  
You have been doing such a good job with your taper.  Needing encouragement is not surprising.  One of these days you will get down to a dose of Ativan that doesn’t bother you with side effects, but plodding along gets tedious, I know.

 

You are taking mirtazapine 42.7 mg and Ativan .21 mg, I see.  You are decreasing Ativan by .01 mg per month, so your reduction rate of Ativan seems appropriate.  As you decrease the Ativan you may have more shallow troughs.  That moment could be just around the corner. 

 

Mirt and Ativan are both sedating, right?  You were feeling good on June 1st.  Did that last until the most recent reduction on July 8th?  
 

How are the stressors now?  Did the issues with your neighbor and the bad news from your mom continue to upset you?  You were looking forward to Summer and seeing your friends.  I hope that you had some really good times.  Having the Delta variant of Covid upend our lives has caused a lot of people to feel down.  I am always sad when Summer is coming to a close.
 

If you don’t keep a journal, you might consider doing that because if you are not having waves, but are instead constantly depressed, check with a Mod.  Ativan might cause depression. You are taking two brakes, and maybe the Mods would suggest that you do something differently.  If you are having periods of happiness and contentment such as you did June 1st, this could be “just a wave.”  I put that in quotes to indicate that it’s not trivial, and that I know it’s real suffering.  Depression due to long term WD symptoms from an adverse reaction is what drove me to try Celexa, so I understand how deep it can be.  You have had several adverse reactions.  Maybe you are having waves and they get deep because of Ativan.  

 

Were you exercising in early June?  Walking?  Did you stop because of the heat perhaps?  A bit of exercise could help quite a lot.  Maybe you could swim?  (That must seem like it would be a huge hassle right now.). Summer always makes taking walks hard for me.  I keep intending to get a cooling neck wrap from Amazon.
 

Are you getting enough sunshine?  Maybe you could sit in the sun a with an iced drink.

I hope you feel better soon, Rosetta

 

[Mimi79]

1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

I’m sorry that you have been feeling depression for the past month.  Is it every day?  Can you remember any good days in that time?  

Hi @Rosetta,

Thank you for your help. As usual, your words are right what I need to read.

I will try to be more precise and to answer your questions.

 

No, I haven’t feel this way everyday. 
In fact, I’ve had a very good window at the end of may that last till the next dose drop mid-June. And even after this drop, some symptoms returned, but I was still enjoying my summer and those symptoms were very manageable.

It’s only since my mid-July drop that things went south. It was a bigger one (0,02mgai). 

Since then, I have had maybe one week of depression, then a slightly better week, then depression again since the last 2 weeks or so. It seems to me that it is a wave pattern, but even in the days I feel better, it is not very good days. And since I’ve been back to work in the mean time, I am barely coping.

It is always difficult for me to distinguish if the depression comes from Ativan itself or the W/D, but with the fact that I’ve had some pretty good weeks in the beginning of the summer, and at a higher dose, I really thought it was more W/D related. Dont you think?

And I was thinking that at this relatively small dose of Ativan, induced depression was not an issue, no?

 

My issues with my parents and my neighbors are almost over now. My only stressor is being back to work after a 4 months break. 
Other then that, I am doing a lot of sport. Maybe too much. I am training almost everyday with my race bike. I do an average of 200km per week with my bike and maybe  a 5km to 10 km run each in between days. I started this more intense training 2 months ago, and I am wondering if it could have contributed to my actual wave. 
You know, I tend to be an overachiever person! 😉

so, thank you so much, and don’t hesitate to give me some tips or encouragement. You have made a real difference in my journey, and I am thankful for that!

 

Anne-Marie

 

[Rosetta]

Yes, the training could be too much.  How wonderful that you are strong enough to bike that far!  Maybe you should scale back a bit.  

[Mimi79]

@Shep I need some guidance. 
Since the last few days, I am in a wave of depression, but I haven’t change my Ativan dose since July 8th. Is it possible to have a wave when I am suppose to be stabilized at this point. normally, after 3-4 weeks after a drop, I am starting to feel better, not worse. 
Can it be an effect from the Ativan itself or from W/D?

Thank you so much for your helps.

Anne-Marie

[Shep]

On 8/11/2021 at 1:34 PM, Mimi79 said:

My issues with my parents and my neighbors are almost over now. My only stressor is being back to work after a 4 months break. 
Other then that, I am doing a lot of sport. Maybe too much. I am training almost everyday with my race bike. I do an average of 200km per week with my bike and maybe  a 5km to 10 km run each in between days. I started this more intense training 2 months ago, and I am wondering if it could have contributed to my actual wave. 
You know, I tend to be an overachiever person! 😉

 

Mimi, you're doing so much, especially going back to work after a 4 month break. 

 

Perhaps these symptoms are teachers for you to learn from. Give yourself permission to not be perfect (which is a burden many overachievers carry). It's okay to slow down to a calmer rhythm. 

 

I'm going to "ditto" what Rosetta wisely wrote:

 

On 8/11/2021 at 4:19 PM, Rosetta said:

Yes, the training could be too much.  How wonderful that you are strong enough to bike that far!  Maybe you should scale back a bit.  

 

Treat yourself kindly, Mimi. I would go into a long hold, perhaps exercise a bit less. Instead of going running, perhaps try going for a walk instead and take pictures in nature. Let go of the need to always be in the "doing" state. Give yourself permission to let your nervous system take a break. In the long run, I think you'll be glad you did. 

[Mimi79]

Thanks for this wise advise, dear @Shep

I am in a better place since saturday evening. Not perfect, but less depressed.

I will try to slow the pace.

I have another question, I've had today a brief moment of vertigo/dizziness. It last maybe 30 minutes, but it was intense and it gave me a lot of nausea. Can it be a W/D symptom too? 

[Shep]

14 hours ago, Mimi79 said:

I have another question, I've had today a brief moment of vertigo/dizziness. It last maybe 30 minutes, but it was intense and it gave me a lot of nausea. Can it be a W/D symptom too? 

 

It could be. Vertigo/dizziness and nausea are all listed as withdrawal symptoms. Hopefully it's a one-off and just a combination of a lot of the stressors - both withdrawal and life issues - that could all culminate in your nervous system feeling off for a bit. 

 

Your body may still be telling you to take it easy for awhile. No reason not to listen - that's sage advice! 

[Melaan]

Hi @Mimi79,

 

Hope youre doing OK. 

I was wondering how you knew that you had WD from Lorazepam? Was not from WD of Mirt?

Im also on Mirt and take Xanax very occasionally. 

 

Best wishes!

[Mimi79]

Hi @Melaan,

Nice to meet you! 
So you’re asking how I knew I was in benzo W/D? 
Like you, I was using some lorazepam on and off to help me cope with Mirtazapine w/d. I naively thought that it was ok to do that. But it was a BIG mistake! I was taking  maybe one or two Ativan per week (lowest dosage) and after few weeks, I realized I was dependent. When I tried to stop it for good, maybe 3-4 days after I started to have big insomnia, tachycardia, inner restlesness, anxiety, and I was feeling very low. It was way worse then the symptoms from Mirt. Kinda more extreme. And as soon as I took another  Ativan, all those symptoms vanished. I was hooked. And I was in big troubles!
I didn’t know it was possible to become dependent when taking only 1-2 pills per week. But yes it is!
Taking Ativan sparingly is one of my worst mistakes. I regret it everyday. Now I have to W/D from that s**t before resuming My Mirt taper. And I always feel like crap.

If I can give you an advice, it is stay away from benzo or any other drugs as much as possible. Don’t mess with these drugs, they are so powerful. Keep it simple and try to use non drug coping skills to cope with your AD w/d. 
I wish you good luck in this journey!

 

Mimi79

[Rosetta]

Thinking about you, Mimi.  I hope you are doing all right. -Rosetta

[Mimi79]

@Rosetta Hi dear Rosetta,

Thank you for passing by my thread, and for thinking about me. I do too think about you often and I am happy to have some news from you. I am thinking about a trip in California, maybe next summer, now that we can cross the border by car,  and it reminds me of you! I hope you are doing well and your family too.

I don't come here often, as I've realized it can triggered me a lot. There is so much suffering here and to see all those people living the same hell as us, again and again, it makes me feel very low and frustrated.  I would like to spend more time here to help others, but for now, I have to help myself and avoid things that make me feel worse.

But reading your good words really help me and it always reminds me I am not alone on this rocky road.

I am stil tapering Ativan, and it is not very easy, to say the least. I can have some pretty okay-ish weeks, then a wave comes and I feel bad (like this week). I never feel fully myself, and I find it very hard to persevere with the knowing I will still feel like crap for at least 9 to 12 months before finishing for good the Ativan taper. And after the Ativan, I will still have to taper the Remeron. It is so depressing when I think about it too much. So this is why I avoid thinking about it and coming here.

And yet, I feel incredibly alone on this road. Very, very alone. My partner doesn't understand my struggle. I am so good with hiding how I feel inside. Because I don't complain much,

he thinks I am healed! And after he is surprised I don't have any libido, but how can I have any libido when I struggle everyday just to make the bare minimum in my life?? 

Sometimes, I would like to have a friend, a real friend with whom I could talk about it, in person. A real friend that could understand what I am living. 

Anyway, look at me, still complaining about myself... I am so sorry to be such a ''debbie downer'' today, but sometime, it is very hard.

Thank you for listening (reading), I know you will understand...

 

I really hope you are feeling fine these days and I wish you the best week.

 

Byebye!

 

Anne-marie 

[Rosetta]

Yes, I do understand, very well.   You will feel better very shortly, I know, when you have another window.  Hang in there! -Rosetta

[Lilmizz21]

@Mimi79hi mini79. I too have developed this type of OCD because of withdrawl.

 

I'm just wondering how your coping now?

 

Was it just your mind playing tricks?

 

Hope you are doing so well

[Rosetta]

How are you feeling?  I’m thinking of you.  I hope it’s better today. - R

[Mimi79]

@Rosetta Thank you for caring. I don’t feel better. In fact, I am deeper in this wave. It is hard, the symptoms are mainly depression, anhedonia and a bit of OCD.

We never get used to it. It is difficult at work too. I try to remember that it will pass, that this is just another bump in this road to recovery. 
I hope I will feel better for Christmas Time. 
 

And how do you feel? I hope you are ok these days.

 

Have a nice day.

[Rosetta]

I’m ok.  I’m definitely healing.  That past few days have

been good.  
 

I hope you are better soon, too.  Hang in there. Rosetta

[Mimi79]

@Lilmizz21 Hi. Yes I have OCD on and off as One of my main W/D symptoms. It is not easy to cope, but I know now that it wont stay forever. When it comes, I just try to distract myself and I wait until it pass. And for now, it always pass. 
 

I don’t have any magic tip, just patience and strenght.

 

[Mimi79]

HI everyone.
Maybe I need some encouragement or some tips.

Since the last month or so, I am in a bad wave. The last 2 weeks have been horrid. A lot of depression and some anxiety. I am holding at the same dose since the last 2 months now. I dont see any stabilisation yet. This is the first time since the beginning of my taper (last march) that I struggle as much to find stabilization. Can you help me to see what am I doing wrong?
Of course, my situation now is very different than last spring. I was in sick leave, now I am back to work. It was spring, now it is winter. Maybe I am stressing out about Christmass and how I will be able to go throught with those awful symptoms?
I need some wisdom as I feel pretty discouraged. I've had this wonderful chance to be in a very good place, almost symptom free,  from May till november, except for a brief nasty wave in august. But this one is awfully worst and doesnt seem to go away.

Thank you for your help.

Marie