Jump to content

HappilyDerailed From heaven to hell, and back


Recommended Posts

HappilyDerailed

7.5 years ago I was in college and suffered a major panic attack preceding public speaking. Before this my life was GREAT. My doctor recommended both EFFEXOR and XANAX.  I dont know exactly when, but sometime around two years on both meds I began to feel incredible darkness. Not just any darkness, darkness void of EVERYTHING. I then decided to wean from both. The next five years were the most grueling years of my life. I tried to commit suicide early on twice and ended up in a psych ward for 3 months. 

 

I went almost FOUR YEARS feeling NO IMPROVEMENTS

 

My symptoms consisted of ANHEDONIA (no pleasure, no anything. Along with no libido), near endless insomnia, chronic fatigue, a feeling of disconnected-ness. My mind was trapped on repeat. Repetitive thoughts, obsessions, past, future. Etc

 

Today Mark's 5 years and 11 months. I feel INCREDIBLE! There's still some ups and downs, but I'm ALIVE again! I can walk around with a smile on my face and truly appreciate life. My nickname was "smiles" before this happened because I always had this feeling of understanding and appreciation towards life. I feel that again. I dont know how I lost this. But I'm forever grateful for this experience. It taught me alot about myself. Hopefully this can offer someone hope. I remember very well the hopelessness 

 

I was taking 150 MG of Effexor XR and 2mg of Xanax per day

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Altostrata changed the title to HappilyDerailed From heaven to hell, and back
  • Administrator

Welcome, Happily.

 

Thank you for joining our community and posting your success story. How did you go off Effexor and Xanax? When did you start to get withdrawal symptoms? What were they?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed

Thanks Alto

 

I started experiencing interdose withdrawals on xanax at about 1 year in. I gradually increased to 2mg. That's when the depression started. I did a 1 year micro taper on the xanax and effexor 

 

My symptoms started while I was on both meds, they didn't improve after discontinuation. They slowly intensified for two years. After two years I started noticing minor improvements.  

 

Symptoms were chronic insomnia, Anhedonic depression, severe suicidal urges, inability to feel emotions, libido, relaxation. Difficulty walking, numbness in my limbs, numb skin. Lack of pleasure in my body, tinnitus, tachycardia, night sweats, hot flashes 24-7 etc. 

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Glad to hear you're feeling well again. For many of us it's a long road to recovery, months pass and it feels like it's never going to get better.

 

Thank you for giving us hope.

2014 June. Citalopram 30mg, Seroquel 25mg. 2016 sept. quit seroquel 25mg fast taper, citalopram 20mg

2017 July citalopram drop to 10mg

2018 March - 2019 July 15th gradual taper to 1.52mg 

2019 July 22nd - 24th 5mg. July 25th 4mg.

2019 November updose Citalopram to 5mg.

2020 May updose Citalopram to 10mg.

Magnesium 200mg nightly.

Fish oil: teaspoon every night.

 

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

hey @HappilyDerailed im about 3 months off my Effexor! I'm currently experiencing terrible insomnia,  Anhedonic depression,, inability to relax much(anxiety maybe? not as bad as 3 weeks ago), constipation and low libido. Your story gives me hope. I'm hoping it won't take me 5 years but I'll go through whatever I have to go through to get past this. You say around the 2 year mark you started feeling better? ANything you did in particular to help? 

 

How did you fight the suicidal urges? I have them too, although I don't think I would act on them. 

 

Could use some words of encouragement! You seem like you're around my age as well. 

Example:

2018 - Started Effexor 37.5 in Janurary of 2018
2019 January, 2nd  - Cold Turkeyed from Effexor for 3 days. Reinstated on the third day, then stabilized(It took 3 months to stabilize)

2019 June - I switched from Effexor instant release to Extended Release 37.5 for better tapering. I tapered to 50% in 4 weeks before reinstating my dosage back to 37.5(due to withdrawls). I waited 2 months to stabilize but never did at 37.5

2019 September - continued to taper in to 25% on extended release

2019 October - continued to taper to half of the beads(18.75mg)... WIthdrawls were so bad I tried switching back to the instant release at the same dosage(18.75mg)

2019 November 28th - Discontinued effexor at 18.75 without anymore tapering.

 

2020 January - Just can't sleep, have constipation, low libido and still lack of full emotion

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed

You'll get there man. I practice meditation and exercise 5 days per week. I doubt the meditation contributed towards recovery but it allowed me to remain present rather than getting trapped in the what ifs and future fears.

 

It will resolve. Try to settle into your body. Step outside of mind. That's what got me through the 5 years. I had everything you're experiencing 

 

REST ASSURED

Link to post
Share on other sites

@HappilyDerailed

Thank you so much for posting! Ill be 2 years on the 9th of next month. After one year use of low dose zoloft. Although i had used it for a year 3 years prior to that. Ive been in absolute hell ever since. I have had some improvements and im definitely not in the 24/7 hell i used to be in. Im more functional byt mentally i still really struggle. I have suicidal intrusive thoughts which are better but still very hard, feelings of not wanitng to do this anymore/die (very chemical) not me. Depression, hopelessness, dread, negative intrusive thoughts and internal restlessness that makes me feel like i want to die as well. I know u said u had the suicidal stuff. Im definitely not coping 24/7 anymore but i dont have any positive feelings or emotions which doesnt help but i am improving slowly up and down. Did u have the suicidal stuff this far out? I pretty much have some level of symptoms daily. Im not in groups so i dont know many people and most it seems as the suicidal stuff has left in the early months. I look forward to hearing back. Also what coping skills u used. Did u have the ruminating thoughts? And the feeling of wanting to die? Of course i wont ever act i know i want to be here. Its just tough to still be like this. Thank you! Have a great day

13 months on 25 mg of sertraline.

Fast taper in march 2018, reinstated 12.5mg

Cold turkey sertraline april 17,2018

Zyprexa 5mg april 17,2018

Zyprexa taper to lamictal May 4-13 (life threatening rash)

Back on zyprexa 5mg for 10days & tapered over 5 weeks.

21 months off sertraline 

19 months off zyprexa

22 months into withdrawl 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey happily- are you sleeping deeply these days? Congrats on your success!

3/21/19 started Bupropion XL 150 mg

3/21/19 started Risperidone 2mg

7/7/19 start Abilify half dose 5 mg. discontinue Risperidone

7/9/19 full dose Abilify 10 mg

7/29/19 discontinued Abilify due to panicky side effects

8/2/19 Began Latuda 20 mg

8/5/19 discontinued Latuda due to similar side effects 

8/10/19 discontinued Bupropion after realizing it was causing the insomnia

From 8/10/19 no drugs whatsoever

Currently taking Magnesium 150mgs daily

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed
On 2/21/2020 at 7:58 AM, Matti said:

Glad to hear you're feeling well again. For many of us it's a long road to recovery, months pass and it feels like it's never going to get better.

 

Thank you for giving us hope.

You'll get there matti. Glad this gives you hope

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed
16 hours ago, Elyssa143 said:

@HappilyDerailed

Thank you so much for posting! Ill be 2 years on the 9th of next month. After one year use of low dose zoloft. Although i had used it for a year 3 years prior to that. Ive been in absolute hell ever since. I have had some improvements and im definitely not in the 24/7 hell i used to be in. Im more functional byt mentally i still really struggle. I have suicidal intrusive thoughts which are better but still very hard, feelings of not wanitng to do this anymore/die (very chemical) not me. Depression, hopelessness, dread, negative intrusive thoughts and internal restlessness that makes me feel like i want to die as well. I know u said u had the suicidal stuff. Im definitely not coping 24/7 anymore but i dont have any positive feelings or emotions which doesnt help but i am improving slowly up and down. Did u have the suicidal stuff this far out? I pretty much have some level of symptoms daily. Im not in groups so i dont know many people and most it seems as the suicidal stuff has left in the early months. I look forward to hearing back. Also what coping skills u used. Did u have the ruminating thoughts? And the feeling of wanting to die? Of course i wont ever act i know i want to be here. Its just tough to still be like this. Thank you! Have a great day

Hey Elyssa. Yeah, I had all of that. It was pure torture. I'm very sorry you continue to suffer with this, it can be very difficult.  I just logged on and seen your response and was dozing off and felt like I should push through and respond. The best coping skill i know of is meditation. By far the most superior method. I will respond later when I'm not falling asleep to give a better response

 

TC

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed
23 minutes ago, Armorall said:

Hey happily- are you sleeping deeply these days? Congrats on your success!

Very! Thank you! 

Link to post
Share on other sites

@HappilyDerailed thank you. I look forward to hearing back. 

13 months on 25 mg of sertraline.

Fast taper in march 2018, reinstated 12.5mg

Cold turkey sertraline april 17,2018

Zyprexa 5mg april 17,2018

Zyprexa taper to lamictal May 4-13 (life threatening rash)

Back on zyprexa 5mg for 10days & tapered over 5 weeks.

21 months off sertraline 

19 months off zyprexa

22 months into withdrawl 

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/20/2020 at 7:24 PM, HappilyDerailed said:

7.5 years ago I was in college and suffered a major panic attack preceding public speaking. Before this my life was GREAT. My doctor recommended both EFFEXOR and XANAX.  I dont know exactly when, but sometime around two years on both meds I began to feel incredible darkness. Not just any darkness, darkness void of EVERYTHING. I then decided to wean from both. The next five years were the most grueling years of my life. I tried to commit suicide early on twice and ended up in a psych ward for 3 months. 

 

I went almost FOUR YEARS feeling NO IMPROVEMENTS

 

My symptoms consisted of ANHEDONIA (no pleasure, no anything. Along with no libido), near endless insomnia, chronic fatigue, a feeling of disconnected-ness. My mind was trapped on repeat. Repetitive thoughts, obsessions, past, future. Etc

 

Today Mark's 5 years and 11 months. I feel INCREDIBLE! There's still some ups and downs, but I'm ALIVE again! I can walk around with a smile on my face and truly appreciate life. My nickname was "smiles" before this happened because I always had this feeling of understanding and appreciation towards life. I feel that again. I dont know how I lost this. But I'm forever grateful for this experience. It taught me alot about myself. Hopefully this can offer someone hope. I remember very well the hopelessness 

 

I was taking 150 MG of Effexor XR and 2mg of Xanax per day

 

 

Well done, I'm glad you are back to yourself again

  • 13th of August 2019 started to take 20 mg citalopram
  • 😀24th of August 2019 down to 10mg stopped citalopram altogether on the 30th of August 2019
Quote

Short term citalopram

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Good to hear that you've found meditation helpful. I've been practicing most days now for ~10 min. before going to bed.

 

I believe it has helped with ruminating thoughts.

2014 June. Citalopram 30mg, Seroquel 25mg. 2016 sept. quit seroquel 25mg fast taper, citalopram 20mg

2017 July citalopram drop to 10mg

2018 March - 2019 July 15th gradual taper to 1.52mg 

2019 July 22nd - 24th 5mg. July 25th 4mg.

2019 November updose Citalopram to 5mg.

2020 May updose Citalopram to 10mg.

Magnesium 200mg nightly.

Fish oil: teaspoon every night.

 

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

This is amazing thank for sharing your success!  I'd love to pick you brain sometime, but can you tell me what the process of the numb skin and the walking challenge healing over time?  Also, did you have muscle loss coupled with the numbness?

Short Term Case: 7 pill of 10 mg of Modafinil in a 3 month span, but last 3 I took back to back causing severe withdrawals, lasting 3 weeks. Than 2 pills lexapro to help withdrawal lead to more withdrawal.  I have most symptoms Pssd, emotional loss, cognitive issues, nerve damage in legs.  Also 2 benzodiazepines.  Not much to damage me long term...

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I actually started having anhedonia like situation after SSRI traeatment ..Its like not feeling anything , - not feeling happiness even while laughing......HOW do u overcome this? HOw much time it  is required to get over this feeling.????Is it abruptly ended or gradually....

June 2019 to July 2019= amytriptyline(12.5mg)+chlordiazepoxide (tricyclic -TCA ) and Fluoxetine (SSRI)  and bio-homin ls (nerve healer and for numbing  )

August 2019 to November 2019 with increase in dosage = Escitalopram-ssri-20mg/day  and betacap 20.

                                                                I had told doc , anhedonia and anger increasing , so he changed drugs

December 19 to Jan 2020. = Duloxetin 20(snri) , (buproprion 150 ), betacap 20 beta blockers  

Feb 2020  - Marc 2020 =Duloxetin 30(snri) , (buproprion 150 ), betacap 20

 Tapered drugs over 1 month period .

April 2020 - May 2020= agomelatine (25mg )

May 2020 to June 2020 = Pramipexole 0.25mg.

Now stopped completely SNRI and Buproprion since march 22 2020.

ANHEDONIA NOW , is only problem , with little heavyness i head like wall of numbness.

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed

SUPER gradual. It's something you've gotta put outside your mind. It resolves over time. For me, I didn't notice ANY improvements for almost three years. It was the most terrifying experience of my life. It felt permanent.  It wasn't! Are you still on or off?

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed
On 2/25/2020 at 1:44 PM, Matti said:

Good to hear that you've found meditation helpful. I've been practicing most days now for ~10 min. before going to bed.

 

I believe it has helped with ruminating thoughts.

Very cool. Meditation is incredible. I hear alot of people sitting to meditate. I never once sat to meditate. I discovered it during withdrawal without ever knowing anything about meditation. I remember dropping down into my body during a panic attack and just being present with what i was feeling. I fell into the most peaceful feeling. Ever since then, that's where I've been

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed
On 2/25/2020 at 10:08 AM, Elyssa143 said:

@HappilyDerailed thank you. I look forward to hearing back. 

Hey. At three years out I was shell-shocked. No emotions, nerves frayed. Suicidal urges were more of this need to end the suffering rather than something I would think about. I never thought about it. I felt like it was an opportunity to escape the suffering. I went to groups for about a year. Got a little bit of benefit. I met some cool people. It felt good to have people in similar situations I guess. I think it's normal to have suicidal thoughts when you're suffering. 

 

Try to drop down into the experience of being. The feelings of being. Drop down from your mind down into your body. Wherever you are. Whether you're watching TV, or browsing the internet. Allow your presence to be with the feelings in your body. I usually settle into the solar plexus area. That's where the feelings for me are most vivid. This slowly morphs into warmth. The warmth cascades through your entire body. It sooths your mind. It will allow you to find solace

 

It's very tough. Life can be unforgiving! You'll make it through! 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

@HappilyDerailed  Thank you for sharing.  I've been tapering from 225 mg of Effexor now for 1 year 8 months.  It's good to know that you have found your "smiles" again and are able to experience life as it once was for you.  I anticipate the same for myself.  I'm already feeling some improvement from when I started tapering.  I strongly believe I will also succeed, but that does not make it any easier to be patient with the process, slow and steady.

I've utilized meditation myself at times.  It is a good practice.

I suggest to you that you now go further in your search for truth and true happiness.  I suggest reading the book of Romans in the Bible, which talks about faith in our maker, God.

Best wishes for your future endeavors.

5/1999 to 6/7/2002 Celexa (Citalopram) 30 mg  3 years 1 month.  6/7/2002 to 6/26/2002 switch from Celexa to Zoloft then wean off.  8/2014 start Venlafaxine 225 mg.

Other Pharmaceuticals per day:  Amlodipine 5 mg

Vitamins per day:  C 2,000 mg; D3 1.25 mg; Probiotic 218 mg; Fish Oil 1,600 mg; Magnesium Glycinate 240 mg; CoQ10 100 mg; Saw Palmetto 320 mg;

Start Taper: 225 mg to 55 mg; June 5, 2018 to June 15, 2019

55 mg (10%) June 15, 2019;  49 mg (10%) July 16, 2019; 44 mg (10%) August  13, 2019; 49 mg (up 11%) Aug. 26, 2019: 44 mg (10%) Sept. 10, 2019; 40 mg (10%) Oct. 8, 2019;  37.5 mg (6%) Nov. 6, 2019; 49.5 mg (up 32%) Nov 18, 2019; 44.5 mg (10%) Dec. 30, 2019; 40 mg Jan. 27, 2020; 36 mg Feb. 24, 2020; 32.5 mg March 23, 2020; 29.2 mg April 20, 2020; 26.3 mg May 18, 2020; 23.7 mg June 15, 2020; 21.3 mg July 6, 2020; 19.2 mg Aug. 4, 2020; 17.3 mg Sept. 1, 2020; 15.5 mg Sept. 29, 2020; 14.0 mg Oct. 27, 2020; 12.6 mg Nov. 24, 2020; 11.3 mg Dec. 15, 2020; 10.2 mg Jan. 5, 2021; 9.2 mg Feb. 2, 2021;

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey @HappilyDerailed do you ever remember having bouts where you couldn’t get a proper yawn or when you would wake up from sleep you’d be completely awake? 
 

 

Example:

2018 - Started Effexor 37.5 in Janurary of 2018
2019 January, 2nd  - Cold Turkeyed from Effexor for 3 days. Reinstated on the third day, then stabilized(It took 3 months to stabilize)

2019 June - I switched from Effexor instant release to Extended Release 37.5 for better tapering. I tapered to 50% in 4 weeks before reinstating my dosage back to 37.5(due to withdrawls). I waited 2 months to stabilize but never did at 37.5

2019 September - continued to taper in to 25% on extended release

2019 October - continued to taper to half of the beads(18.75mg)... WIthdrawls were so bad I tried switching back to the instant release at the same dosage(18.75mg)

2019 November 28th - Discontinued effexor at 18.75 without anymore tapering.

 

2020 January - Just can't sleep, have constipation, low libido and still lack of full emotion

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
HappilyDerailed

Hey @rozon1 

 

I recall waking up wide awake for almost 3 years. Not feeling rested. Like my mind was in a dream state but my body never got the rest 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi @HappilyDerailed

 

Were you able to work/study during this time ?

 

ryder

 Cymbalta, Zyprexa, Seroquil, Rispiridone, Valium, Zoloft, Clonazepam,. + 1 other Benzo. Total 11 yrs.

·           April 9th 2018 Hospital. 50mg Zoloft > 0 discontinued. 6mg Clonazepam > 2.5mg over 8 weeks stay.

           October 25th 2019: Hospital:  Clonazepam 1mg > Bridged to 20mg Diazepam.

           

           Anafranil: 1st May 18': 150mg, 1st June: 150mg. 23rd June: 125mg. 6th July: 100mg. 12th July: 75mg 22 July: 62.5mg. 5th August 18: 50mg. 10th November 2018: 45mg. 25th August 2019: 40mg.  Sep '15: 37.5mg.  1st November 2019: 100mg (Re-instated during hospital). 25 morning / 75 night. 22/01/20: 95mg. 03/02: 90mg. Currently 90mg

                          

        Clonazepam: (k) 1st May 18: 2.5mg. 6th July 2018. 1.5mg K. 03 August 2018: 1.25mg K. 17th August > 10 November 2018: 1mg K. Jan - August 2019: (Dosing between 1mg and 0.87mg)  September 10 2019: 0.9mg. Discontinued 25th October 2019.

 

        Diazepam (V): 25th October 2019, 20mg. 22 Dec 2019 19mg. 4 April 20: 18mg,  30 September: 17.5mg , 13 November 20: 17mg

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 10 months later...
  • Mentor

Bump, everyone should read it!

 

Thank you for coming back to share your story.

 

 

Edited by Amira

Cymbalta 30 mg- 60 mg 

June 2016- October 2018 ( Cold Turkey) 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Smartsauce
On 2/28/2020 at 4:41 PM, vaibhav said:

Hi, I actually started having anhedonia like situation after SSRI traeatment ..Its like not feeling anything , - not feeling happiness even while laughing......HOW do u overcome this? HOw much time it  is required to get over this feeling.????Is it abruptly ended or gradually....

hey @vaibhav Its been around a year since this post and I was wondering, did time heal your anhedonia gradually? Is your anhedonia reduced and improved?

Please let me know how you feel now.

 

Greetings

2011-2017 Antispychotics Invega and antidepressants lots of different ones, dont remember all of them

symbalta, seroxat, fenlafaxine, wellbutrin, prothiaden and so on.

2017-2020 Antipsychotic shot Trevicta and antidepressants effexor

2020 August started tapering off Trevicta 500mg to 350mg then cold turkey

2020 December tapering off effexor 150mg to 0 in 4 weeks

Link to post
Share on other sites

@Smartsauce

After i stopped taking SNRI and SSRI in march 2020, I have been healing very very slowly till now . I have not recovered completely , though , each 1-2 months , I can feel some positive changes happening .

I am not completely anhedonic now , thats some relief.

How are you?

June 2019 to July 2019= amytriptyline(12.5mg)+chlordiazepoxide (tricyclic -TCA ) and Fluoxetine (SSRI)  and bio-homin ls (nerve healer and for numbing  )

August 2019 to November 2019 with increase in dosage = Escitalopram-ssri-20mg/day  and betacap 20.

                                                                I had told doc , anhedonia and anger increasing , so he changed drugs

December 19 to Jan 2020. = Duloxetin 20(snri) , (buproprion 150 ), betacap 20 beta blockers  

Feb 2020  - Marc 2020 =Duloxetin 30(snri) , (buproprion 150 ), betacap 20

 Tapered drugs over 1 month period .

April 2020 - May 2020= agomelatine (25mg )

May 2020 to June 2020 = Pramipexole 0.25mg.

Now stopped completely SNRI and Buproprion since march 22 2020.

ANHEDONIA NOW , is only problem , with little heavyness i head like wall of numbness.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Smartsauce
10 hours ago, vaibhav said:

@Smartsauce

After i stopped taking SNRI and SSRI in march 2020, I have been healing very very slowly till now . I have not recovered completely , though , each 1-2 months , I can feel some positive changes happening .

I am not completely anhedonic now , thats some relief.

How are you?

i am just blank, neutral, robotic. I dont feel joy nor sadness. But this feeling is irritating and boring. I just sit everyday at my desk doing nothing but listening to music for 8 hours+. Where in the past I could enjoy myself watching a serie or movie, watching a stream of people or playing a game.

Now all that stuff does nothing to me but bore me. I just have to spend hours everyday doing nothing and try not to go crazy. I dont see a reason to live like this. But hopefully with time it gets better...

2011-2017 Antispychotics Invega and antidepressants lots of different ones, dont remember all of them

symbalta, seroxat, fenlafaxine, wellbutrin, prothiaden and so on.

2017-2020 Antipsychotic shot Trevicta and antidepressants effexor

2020 August started tapering off Trevicta 500mg to 350mg then cold turkey

2020 December tapering off effexor 150mg to 0 in 4 weeks

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed
18 minutes ago, Smartsauce said:

i am just blank, neutral, robotic. I dont feel joy nor sadness. But this feeling is irritating and boring. I just sit everyday at my desk doing nothing but listening to music for 8 hours+. Where in the past I could enjoy myself watching a serie or movie, watching a stream of people or playing a game.

Now all that stuff does nothing to me but bore me. I just have to spend hours everyday doing nothing and try not to go crazy. I dont see a reason to live like this. But hopefully with time it gets better...

That's exactly how I felt too. I have to look back to remember. I recall not being able to imagine having to live like that forever. Somehow it did go away. That robotic feeling has passed. It felt very permanent when I had it. You're very early on. Best thing you can do is distract yourself. Stay active during the day. Go for long walks. Practice acceptance. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

yes, You are in early stage of recovery and you will recover.Just keep engaging yourself in some small, small activities, that s  distracting oneself .That  what I  do.Also , moderate exercise , if you can do , for 30 min ,anytime during the day,  helps somewhat  .If exercise pumps your heart moderately, it will help.but rigorous exercise causes issues , as I experienced .   

June 2019 to July 2019= amytriptyline(12.5mg)+chlordiazepoxide (tricyclic -TCA ) and Fluoxetine (SSRI)  and bio-homin ls (nerve healer and for numbing  )

August 2019 to November 2019 with increase in dosage = Escitalopram-ssri-20mg/day  and betacap 20.

                                                                I had told doc , anhedonia and anger increasing , so he changed drugs

December 19 to Jan 2020. = Duloxetin 20(snri) , (buproprion 150 ), betacap 20 beta blockers  

Feb 2020  - Marc 2020 =Duloxetin 30(snri) , (buproprion 150 ), betacap 20

 Tapered drugs over 1 month period .

April 2020 - May 2020= agomelatine (25mg )

May 2020 to June 2020 = Pramipexole 0.25mg.

Now stopped completely SNRI and Buproprion since march 22 2020.

ANHEDONIA NOW , is only problem , with little heavyness i head like wall of numbness.

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed
On 3/25/2020 at 4:44 AM, Ryder said:

Hi @HappilyDerailed

 

Were you able to work/study during this time ?

 

ryder

I wasn't no. Went from fully functional to completely nonfunctional 

Link to post
Share on other sites
HappilyDerailed
On 3/7/2020 at 4:04 PM, LarryS said:

@HappilyDerailed  Thank you for sharing.  I've been tapering from 225 mg of Effexor now for 1 year 8 months.  It's good to know that you have found your "smiles" again and are able to experience life as it once was for you.  I anticipate the same for myself.  I'm already feeling some improvement from when I started tapering.  I strongly believe I will also succeed, but that does not make it any easier to be patient with the process, slow and steady.

I've utilized meditation myself at times.  It is a good practice.

I suggest to you that you now go further in your search for truth and true happiness.  I suggest reading the book of Romans in the Bible, which talks about faith in our maker, God.

Best wishes for your future endeavors.

Thanks Larry I just saw your post. That's a good idea actually Thank you very much! Hope your recovery is going well. Tc

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Mentor

Hi @HappilyDerailed Did you have this chemical feeling of hopelessness, dread, depression and fear? Like nothing has meaning anymore? If yes, how long did it take to go away completely?

Cymbalta 30 mg- 60 mg 

June 2016- October 2018 ( Cold Turkey) 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Kimboslice

Hi @HappilyDerailed. Did you loose your basic social abilities during withdrawal?? I struggle to write or speak with any coherence. Thought I was seeing signs of improvement but back to feeling blank.. Like a dead man walking lol 

OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Mentor

Hi again, do you mean you went 4 years off all meds not feeling any improvement or do you mean the tapering years were included in these 4 years?

Cymbalta 30 mg- 60 mg 

June 2016- October 2018 ( Cold Turkey) 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello @HappilyDerailed,

Thank you so so much for coming back and giving us a bit of Hope.

IF you don't mind that I ask you, you said in your post that you suffered from chronic fatigue. How long did It last? Was It something constant or It came and go? 

Again, thank you.

 

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy