Ella56: Drug withdrawal

[Ella56]

 I am happy. Just want to be well by then. 

[Ella56]

 I probably shouldnt of shared that. Personal not wd. I am hapoy and worried and she is sick nausea.I just want to be well to be there for her as much as I can.  Yes it is exciting.

[Ella56]

My symptoms now are Cognitive. Flu like feelings. Aches and pains, not knowing who am feeling a lost of self and feeling a loss of control. Ability to relate to people because i am just not ok.  Hopeless feeling i wont get better. Eyes are blurry. Anxiety. Internal exhaustion. Ringing in my head. Pressure around my head sometimes.  Still afraid to be alone. 5 weeks on 1mg celexa. Still wd symptoms and not sure what to do next. No sleep last night anxiety. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Ella56,

It's okay to share some personal.  If you want to though, just let us know, to get rid of a post or hide it.

Congrats!

 

And oh darn, no sleep at all last night?

Might be adjusting a bit to your new place?  And these are difficult times now too. 

 

It can be real hard talking to others, about WD, and what you are dealing with.  Maybe your friend understood that you could use a friend right now?  That would be good.  You are not weird alone here.  We've been through it, many or most of us, or are going through it.

 

I don't know why it feels like a holiday today.    I am seeing blue skies and we've had some warmer temperatures too!

 

I think that you could just stay put now, with that 1 mg dose of Celexa.  Sometimes no change is the best change.

Try and have a restful day.  Get outside, if even for just a little bit.  Maybe take a walk? 

 

Do you have a bathtub?  I can't remember where you were with magnesium and omega 3's ?  Have you tried either yet?  Sorry for the redundancy, if this is.

 

Best,  L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Ella56]

@manymoretodays yes i take omega and mag. Is taking vegan protein shakes not a good idea? Somone told me protein binds to ad and stays in body. Not sure that sounds right. 

[manymoretodays]

I don't know about that. 

Do you have much appetite?

I was cautioned to be careful with what I put in my shakes early on and so I was.  I only began adding protein powder, much later, in my WD.

You can, however, experiment a bit.  I did yogurt(I tolerated, some don't though), cranberry juice, spinach, and berries.  Ate my banana every day.  And stuck to pretty simple foods.

 

I hope you get some good sleep tonight Ella56.  That can make such a difference.

 

 

Edited April 4, 2020 by manymoretodays

[Ella56]

I am so hurting. I just want to be okay and be with people. Depressed today. Grieving self and so scared still I will heal. I am disconnected from people and feel so odd what os happening to me. 😪 i believe in God but dont know where he is in this.

 

Not really for appetite but i dont eat red meat much. Bought Avena vegan shake. 

[manymoretodays]

Yes, it's tough for me now too.  I really am a social person. 

And I do know how much sense it makes, to abide with the social distancing, right now.

 

So, even those not in WD per se, I think can relate a bit.  To that want and need to be with others.  Look for the simple kindnesses that occur.  Within yourself even.  Be kind to self.  I think that's where it starts anyway.......in building a better world.  Grieving will happen too.  Your faith in both yourself and something Bigger may even grow.  It might be a good time to explore what you believe and why.

 

Have you wandered to the "Finding Meaning" forum yet?  Maybe something there will grab you and comfort you.  Or music and relaxation.

CHILL....a playlist for relaxation during difficult times

Music therapy/music for wellness and healing

^ really good and might help you to pursue this one

 

and then Music.....what music helps you? Put it here.

^ members favorites, a various times in their healing

 

I know, I know......and am so sorry Ella56, that you are hurting.  (((((  Ella56 ))))))  It's a lot of pain.  You've had a tough week too!

 

Best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

[Altostrata]

Ella, are you settled in your new home?

[Ella56]

Hello, i am not really stable where i am living. I never saw the place before i moved in and is quite small. I dont think i will want it long term. But i am here now for awhile. 

 

I wanted to ask a question on stabilizing. When one reinstates does that help with the length of time to stabilize?

Then if one ct and doesnt reinstate? 

Or is there no way of telling how long it takes in anyway?  

Thanks

[Ella56]

I probably asked these before but here it goes: 

I was off ad from sept 16 and was in wd I didnt know i was and my body was trying to stabilize. 

When i reinstated feb 25th is that like starting over 

.as in the time it will take to stabilize  ? Will i stabilize? 

 

I seem to be always in akathesia to a degree but didnt know what that is til now. Would that be from the 1mg celexa? 

 

Do i have to worry about neurotoxicity  ?

 

[Altostrata]

I'm pretty sure we discussed all of this before. What do you recall of the answers to your questions?

[Ella56]

I am just in state of panic inside and high alert and it is not going away.  

[Altostrata]

Ella, we understand. We do not want you to feel bad.

 

You have withdrawal syndrome, probably from Celexa and possibly from the benzos as well. Many people here have this.

 

There are not many choices to help withdrawal syndrome.

 

On 3/30/2020 at 1:27 PM, Altostrata said:

1) You can take more Celexa.

 

2) You can substitute Prozac.

 

3) You can go to the hospital.

 

4) You can take Ativan, but you will need to be prepared to deal with adverse effects and to taper off.

 

5) You can practice self-care and not change any of your drugs.

 

Any of the drug options might make you feel worse.

 

With Option 5 (no change), you probably will see only very, very gradual improvement as long as you don't put obstacles in its way.

 

My own personal belief is that increasing Celexa would be the safest and most effective way for you to decrease your symptoms. However, I can't tell the future. You have made attempts to do this but sabotaged yourself with second-guessing.

 

It's up to you to pick an option. You can sabotage any of them with second-guessing your decision if you won't control that undermining habit of self-doubt.

 

I have said everything I can possibly say about what you might do. We require every member to take responsibility for their symptoms. If you don't take responsibility, we can't help. We don't have any magic solutions.

 

(Addition to #4: Clonazepam or diazepam are preferable to Ativan because they are longer-acting drugs.)

 

You have chosen to ride out the symptoms. You must learn to manage them. We cannot fix them long-distance over the Internet.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

Deep emotional pain and crying spells, spontaneous weeping

 

Sudden fear, terror, panic, or anxiety from withdrawal

[Ella56]

@AltostrataI have went ahead and took 1.5mg for 4 days now. Today tho by accident i took 2mg. Pharmacy gave me a different syringe and i took it by mistake.. I knew right away what i did. Legs feel shaky. I decided maybe it might help my nervous system. Feeling very depressed. Last night i went into an emotional spiral..feelings with my daughter. Tired. I was told i dont need to go back to 10mg right to get better. So i hope this small doze will help. I dont know what i need and if i can get  better. Now suffering it out for a few days at least 7.

[Altostrata]

Good idea, give it a chance.

 

The emotional spirals are not withdrawal symptoms, they are the way you handle stress. You need to look at this technique and decide if it is working for you. Have you ever worked with a psychotherapist?

 

That you went into a emotional spirals shows nothing about how the increase to 1.5mg Celexa might or might not be working for withdrawal symptoms.

 

We don't expect small increases in dosage to eliminate psychological distress. We recommend dosage increases to reduce withdrawal symptoms. If you want to be treated for a psychiatric or psychological condition, you need to see a doctor. We don't handle that here.

 

See Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

On 3/17/2020 at 12:47 PM, Altostrata said:

....

We will need those daily symptom notes every day, with more detail. From now on, we need those daily notes before we can answer your questions. This is going to be very important as you're making a drug change.

 

As explained numerous times, I cannot answer questions about symptoms without seeing how they fit in a daily symptom pattern. Please post 24 hours of notes at a time.

[Ella56]

SSTURDAY APRIL 4

1pm 1.5 mg celexa

3pm mag vit c

5pm nausea anxiety heat waves

6pm omegas

7pm crying spell

8 to 10pm slept up tIL midnight and back to sleep til 6am

 

SUNDAY APRIL 5

6AM DEPRESSED START FEELING EMOTIONS AND THEN MY HEAD STARTS RINGING

7AM HEAT WAVE

10 DEPRESSED

1PM 1.5 MG CELEXA

330PM JUDGING SELF  HEATWAVE

5PM ANXIETY STOMACH EMOTIONS ANXIETY WORRY

11PM BED

 

MONDAY APRIL 6

9AM UP GREEN DRINK 

11AM WALK WITH SISTER 1 HR

1PM 1.5 MG CELEXA

3PM TO 430PM NAP TIRED WOKE UP IN PANIC 

5PM EMOTIONAL SPIRAL THAT NOONE WAS THERE THE LAST 6 MONTHS OF THIS

9 TO 11PM TALKING TO PERSON THAT IS GOING THROUGH THIS

SLEEP AFTER WEIRD DREAMS ALL NIGHT.

 

TUESDAY APRIL 7

8 AM TIRED TODAY

FELT A BIT OF BURNING IN MY THROAT

WEIRD DREAMS LAST NIGHT

EYES BLURRY

1130 LUNCH

1PM TOOK 2MG CELEXA BY ACCIDENT

GROCERY SHOPPING FELT LEGS SHAKY FEEL DRUGGED

5PM DINNER JUST FEEL DEPRESSED VERGE OF CRYING IF IT FELT SAFE TO. DONT REALLY WANT TO BE ALONE. DWELLING ON THE PAST.

6pm EPsom BATH 

 

[Altostrata]

What is a heat wave?

 

Please do NOT post in all caps.

[Ella56]

Heat wave-all of a sudden just get really hot.

[Altostrata]

Did your whole body get hot? Are you menopausal?

[Ella56]

It was heat on my back. Yes i am about that age. 

[Ella56]

Awake all night and feeling down.  Restlessness and my legs are in pain.

[Ella56]

13 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Good idea, give it a chance.

 

The emotional spirals are not withdrawal symptoms, they are the way you handle stress. You need to look at this technique and decide if it is working for you. Have you ever worked with a psychotherapist?

 

That you went into a emotional spirals shows nothing about how the increase to 1.5mg Celexa might or might not be working for withdrawal symptoms.

 

We don't expect small increases in dosage to eliminate psychological distress. We recommend dosage increases to reduce withdrawal symptoms. If you want to be treated for a psychiatric or psychological condition, you need to see a doctor. We don't handle that here.

 

See Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

 

As explained numerous times, I cannot answer questions about symptoms without seeing how they fit in a daily symptom pattern. Please post 24 hours of notes at a time.

I know that i need to deal with an deep emotional issue and seeing a counsellor soon. When i do a change it also makes the emotions stronger. I need to get stability to stay calm. 

[Altostrata]

4 hours ago, Ella56 said:

I know that i need to deal with an deep emotional issue and seeing a counsellor soon. When i do a change it also makes the emotions stronger. I need to get stability to stay calm. 

 

This is exactly correct.

 

Going through menopausal changes can be difficult. The hot flashes can be very disruptive to sleep. Keep the bedroom cool. Meditative breathing can help.

 

Please see forums for menopause, you might be able to pick up tips about coping with symptoms there.

 

What are you doing for exercise? You may need to stretch your legs. At least a half-hour each day of gentle walking is good for this. It will also help your body work better overall.

 

How have your symptoms changed since you increased to 1.5mg? Still need to see those daily notes. You can leave the emotional ups and downs out, any physical symptoms would be much more helpful.

[Ella56]

April 7 Tuesday evening

 

Slept from 9 to 11pm

 

Awake til 330 am anxiety leg pains 

 

330am to 730 am I think i slept a bit anxiety

 

April 8 Wednesday

10am sweating ringing in my head heat

flash back legs face wd i think not menopause

 

1pm 1.5 celexa

 

2pm 30 min walk to talk things out w counsellor. 

 

3pm bath dizzy achy

 

5pm shaky constipation

 

6 to 8 study group tried to focus 

 

 I get lots of walks take my dog out a off and on all day. 

[Ella56]

Wednesday april 8

I had a seriously bad nightmare

Woke up in middle if the night

 

Thursday April 9

730 am shaky. Body weak

Worse nightmare i ever had

Very scared

11am drove to friends not sure how i even got there. Was feeling to drive into traffic...bad feelings

130 took celexa 1.5mg

530 still struggling with my emotions feeling like why this now

Overall sick feeling

630 epsom bath

9pm feel lost not sure what to do

[Ella56]

Wednesday april 8

11pm sleep til 2am

I had a seriously bad nightmare

Woke up in middle if the night

Slept a bit after but not feeling well

 

Thursday April 9

730 am shaky. Body weak

Worse nightmare i ever had

Very scared

11am drove to friends not sure how i even got there. Was feeling to drive into traffic...bad feelings

130 took celexa 1.5mg

530 still struggling with my emotions feeling like why this now

Overall sick feeling

630 epsom bath

9pm feel lost not sure what to do. Feel.i am losing control.

[Altostrata]

Are you sleeping better?

 

3 minutes ago, Ella56 said:

9pm feel lost not sure what to do. Feel.i am losing control.

 

This is you saying discouraging things to yourself, Ella.

[Ella56]

No i am not sleeping as well

[Ella56]

I feel a little like burning on my skin just in spots. A bit pressure on my chest. And i feel emotionally last 2 days i wont make it a down feeling. Thats why i said i feel lost. Still awake 1am 

[Ella56]

Im just in so much agony again disrurbing bad dreams and not sleeping much. 

[Ella56]

@Altostrata is this reinstatement suppose to be working?. Am i suppose to be feeling worse for awhile. It is 7 days.

 

The deep pain anxiety hardly bareable grip is back in my stomach and new sypmtoms of burning on my skin and insomnia.. Am I suppose to keep taking it hoping these symptoms will even out? 

[Ella56]

Friday april 10

12am still awake  muscle aches and pain, deep stomach pain

Insomnia 

430 am awake

Sleeping off and on all night waking every hour or so

awake from sypmtoms emotional pain in stomach

10am got up stomach pain ringng in head

1pm 1.5 mg celexa

3pm small walk 

6pm eat a but 1000mg mag 

830pm muscle pains stomach pain still

 

 

 

 

[Ella56]

6 hours ago, Ella56 said:

@Altostrata is this reinstatement suppose to be working?. Am i suppose to be feeling worse for awhile. It is 7 days.

 

The deep pain anxiety hardly bareable grip is back in my stomach and new sypmtoms of burning on my skin and insomnia.. Am I suppose to keep taking it hoping these symptoms will even 

Do you think insomnia will go away or this is my norm now ? 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Ella56,

I think you will get better sleep back soon.  Why don't you go ahead and move your Celexa up another hour, to noon.

 

Did you take 1000 mg of magnesium all at once?  Prior to the stomach pains?  That's a whopper dose of it.  I never exceed 300 mg of the Magnesium Citrate type.  And even then, will usually space it out over an hour or two.   You can mix it with water and then sip it throughout the day.  And you should take it always with some water.

What kind are you taking?

Do you have a tub for bathing, or even a bucket for a foot soak?  You could use the Epsom salts in warm water for that. 

Don't overdo though, with magnesium.

 

I missed your increase in dose.  What day was that done?

Are you still going to work ?  Getting some sunlight, early in the day?  Getting a walk in? 

You tube can be your friend now too........as far as finding some gentle exercise, or yoga, or just listening in to some talks or something.

Can you journal?  Outside of notes I mean, just get some poetry going, or scribble on out your worst of feelings and then rip it all up........while asking for relief.

 

Okay, hoping you got some quality rest.  And have a good weekend.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Ella56]

@manymoretodays I was and still doing all the above suggestions. Thank you.  I bought the best magnesium and space it out. Since i put up to 1.5mg 8 days..i am not sleeping and depression is setting in. One where i dont want to get out of bed. I feel like everything is a guessing game and nobody really knows what to do.  I will change time but thinking serious about going back to 1mg. I know i will suffer but suffering now. What is your thinking behind one hour difference? I am seriously feeling no hope. 

Edited April 11, 2020 by Ella56