Colonial Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 Your going to make it... Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 15 minutes ago, Colonial said: Your going to make it... The pain is so bad again. I dont know how to deal with this. I spend 3 hrs with grandddaughter. i had to come home anxiety and pain. She brings up my house and i get so much pain over that i told my daughter to leave but this is major pain. i come home roommate is complaining of lavender smell in my room from epsom salts says bad for my dog. Im shaking. I cant handle being out more then a few hours. I am so scared i cant make it. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 1 minute ago, Ella56 said: I cant handle being out more then a few hours. Neither could I, I could only handle human interaction for a few hours and then would have to come back and turn all the lights and electrics off. Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 1 minute ago, Colonial said: Neither could I, I could only handle human interaction for a few hours and then would have to come back and turn all the lights and electrics Is this ativan or celexa? Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 It's withdrawal induced, but just about any med can do it. The Central Nervous System is overwhelmed, and like an Autistic person, it can only take a limited amount of "Incoming Stimulation" before it looses it... You unfortunately are going to have to limit the amount of Incoming stimulation through all the ways we take in information: our eyes, ears, conversations. I would come home and have to lay on the bed in the dark with ear muffs on for an hour at a time. Your expecting WAY too much of yourself, you can't be 3 hours with a stimulating child, unfortunately. You may have to limit visits to an hour for now. Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 1 minute ago, Colonial said: It's withdrawal induced, but just about any med can do it. The Central Nervous System is overwhelmed, and like an Autistic person, it can only take a limited amount of "Incoming Stimulation" before it looses it... You unfortunately are going to have to limit the amount of Incoming stimulation through all the ways we take in information: our eyes, ears, conversations. I would come home and have to lay on the bed in the dark with ear muffs on for an hour at a time. Your expecting WAY too much of yourself, you can't be 3 hours with a stimulating child, unfortunately. You may have to limit visits to an hour for now. My daughter wants me to babysit in May, 5hr days 2x a wk. i may not be able to by then. My roommate is not safe to be around anymore, she keeps demanding things. I might need to move but afraid also to be on my own. I liked having someone in house. Today i started a course anxiety to calm course, but it stsrted 9am til 11. Then i did one client im a massage therapist but that kept me in town til 3 then babysst was way too much. I cant handle that much for sure. Having epsom bath but not sure what to do about home life. I could handle about 2 hrs or 3 at most. Yesterday was so hard and today. The only thing different about yesterday is i started therapy. Maybe the therapy was too much. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ella56 said: Today i started a course anxiety to calm course, but it stsrted 9am til 11. Then i did one client im a massage therapist but that kept me in town til 3 then babysst was way too much. WAIT... WHAT???? Your doing a TWO HOUR COURSE, Then doing a massage client, and then babysitting 3 HOURS? ALL in the SAME DAY??? Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 4 minutes ago, Colonial said: WAIT... WHAT???? Your doing a TWO HOUR COURSE, Then doing a massage client, and then babysitting 3 HOURS? ALL in the SAME DAY??? Yes the babysit was not planned. The course i thought i would teach me calming skills not sure i can do that. 1 client a day sometimes can do. Way to much. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 You can't be this "sick", in effect, and be "working" full time...Your just delaying your healing and adding to the amount of your suffering. Your ACTIVELY ADDING to the amount of torment the symptoms are giving you by over stimulating your nervous system. When I said the only way I got through the worst of my crash was because I didn't have to work, I meant it... I could NOT have been working or been left alone unattended with 2 kids and either made it through or not end up killing myself... You need to keep active to some extent, sure, to distract Yourself from the symptoms, but not to the point of making your nervous system worse.. And then You come home and the friction with the roommate, it's too much.. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying don't ever do anything, and be a Hermit... but you need to limit the Sensory Overload... Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 17 minutes ago, Colonial said: You can't be this "sick", in effect, and be "working" full time...Your just delaying your healing and adding to the amount of your suffering. Your ACTIVELY ADDING to the amount of torment the symptoms are giving you by over stimulating your nervous system. When I said the only way I got through the worst of my crash was because I didn't have to work, I meant it... I could NOT have been working or been left alone unattended with 2 kids and either made it through or not end up killing myself... You need to keep active to some extent, sure, to distract Yourself from the symptoms, but not to the point of make your nervous system worse.. And then You come home and the friction with the roommate, it's too much.. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying don't ever do anything, and be a Hermit... but you need to limit the Sensory Overload... I have only been working 4hrs a week 2 hrs 2 days a week. And it is all i can do. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 Your missing the point, it's all "Work" to the Nervous system, a 2 hour course, an hour massage, and 3 hours babysitting, that's a 6 hour work load to the Nervous System.. Then add in the problems with the roommate, it all adds up... When You need to be concentrating and focusing and on high alert with a child.. You can't do that much all in a row, you need some "down time" in between all the stimulation... I'm actually quite shocked Your functioning as well as You are if You regularly have this much involvement daily, or close to daily... I could handle a total of like, only 3-4 hours of "Competing Incoming stimulation" over the course of the whole day... Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 16 minutes ago, Colonial said: Your missing the point, it's all "Work" to the Nervous system, a 2 hour course, an hour massage, and 3 hours babysitting, that's a 6 hour work load to the Nervous System.. Then add in the problems with the roommate, it all adds up... When You need to be concentrating and focusing and on high alert with a child.. You can't do that much all in a row, you need some "down time" in between all the stimulation... I'm actually quite shocked Your functioning as well as You are if You regularly have this much involvement daily, or close to daily... I could handle a total of like, only 3-4 hours of "Competing Incoming stimulation" over the course of the whole day... No i dont today was different. I cant. Today i overwhelmed myself and yesterday with therapy. I feel sick.im scared. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 Ok, so, if tomorrow or Friday you feel worse again, you'll know why... Again, I'm not saying sit in a dark room alone all day... But Your brain needs resting time, where it can "do" something that's enjoyable and repetitive in a way that doesn't "force" it to be processing new info every moment... You might find a repetitive hobby can be very soothing, like sewing, or needle work, reading out in the sun in a wide open space... Enjoying a walk down the same path. Your Nervous system needs like, how to say it... A little more calm and structure, so its not constantly on guard that it has to be in a "fight or flight" scenario... So, you might say, ok, today I'm doing a class from 9 am to 11, and then im giving myself "off" from what is normally expected of me if I was healthy the rest of the day... Granted things will continue to "pop up" that you have to deal with, which is why you need to under schedule more than over... You can always add something in last minute if your feeling really good in the late afternoon, even if its just visiting a neighbor for 45 minutes... But once you've over committed the stress of knowing you have to get through it can be detrimental as well. Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 31 minutes ago, Colonial said: Ok, so, if tomorrow or Friday you feel worse again, you'll know why... Again, I'm not saying sit in a dark room alone all day... But Your brain needs resting time, where it can "do" something that's enjoyable and repetitive in a way that doesn't "force" it to be processing new info every moment... You might find a repetitive hobby can be very soothing, like sewing, or needle work, reading out in the sun in a wide open space... Enjoying a walk down the same path. Your Nervous system needs like, how to say it... A little more calm and structure, so its not constantly on guard that it has to be in a "fight or flight" scenario... So, you might say, ok, today I'm doing a class from 9 am to 11, and then im giving myself "off" from what is normally expected of me if I was healthy the rest of the day... Granted things will continue to "pop up" that you have to deal with, which is why you need to under schedule more than over... You can always add something in last minute if your feeling really good in the late afternoon, even if its just visiting a neighbor for 45 minutes... But once you've over committed the stress of knowing you have to get through it can be detrimental as well. Today i came home had a bath but crying and shaky and feel i failed myself. I took tylenol and an aspirin. Im scared. I cant calm myself down. Now i have self hatred going on because i messed up. I am kund of in fight or flight mode with roommate, want to blast her or thinking i should move but want to do what is best for my system. Just in my room quiet in the dark trying to relax. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 You haven't "Messed up"... Your just in a "protracted illness" that wants to make you THINK you've messed up by giving you negative emotions... Just treat yourself as gently and only expect as much of yourself as if you were recovering from a bad flu... Baby steps every day.... Gonna head off to bed myself now too... Hope you rest well ❤️ Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackieDecides Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 10 hours ago, Ella56 said: Today i came home had a bath but crying and shaky and feel i failed myself. I took tylenol and an aspirin. Im scared. I cant calm myself down. Now i have self hatred going on because i messed up. I am kund of in fight or flight mode with roommate, want to blast her or thinking i should move but want to do what is best for my system. Just in my room quiet in the dark trying to relax. you shouldn't move, take it from me. too stressful right now!!! I wish I had better words for you but keep remembering this is all temporary - and you can take a lot more than you think you can. and keep posting! Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut) Famotidine once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes) magnesium 200 mg at night as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000" off Lexapro as of 5/2018 - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Onmyway Posted March 12, 2020 Moderator Share Posted March 12, 2020 On 3/11/2020 at 1:51 PM, Ella56 said: I know that we are not to talk about personal issues but i feel i should explain ..my daughter and i had a fight 2 yrs ago and out of anger i told her to move in with a friend since then there has been distance and i regret it. .now my daughter 23 has moved in with a guy and his family. I am not comfortable with. It doesnt matter what i think. He is creating a bubble around her...does everything for her doesnt treat me respectful has anger but he has a comfortable life security and i think she wants that support. I am not comfortable with them for a few reasons I feel like a outsider now. i hardly see her and my granddaughter. I brought her up on my own and now i am not part of her life hardly. I feel I am not really important amymore. With that, the wd and finances i feel hopeless, no direction and unimportant. I am trying to get through this in therapy. She is only 10mins away but a very distant relatiionship. I have very little family and put all my life into my daughters. So painful. I am afraid to share this. Thanks for baring with me.😪 😭 Oh Ella, this sounds so hard especially if you have raised her all by yourself and when you are feeling so vulnerable, helpless and not in control of your life. Are you worried about your daughter's safety - i.e. is this guy isolating her from friends and family members? If not, I would let it go for the time being and focus on healing. My experience in such situations has been that as you try to point out the problems, the person digs in their heels even further and the divide is widened not narrowed. Withdrawal is so hard and isolating and often it amplifies the bad in our life and makes problems seem unsurmountable. You need to take care of yourself now. What helped me was focusig on small things - sunshine, being able to make dinner, going for a short walk, managing through one day at a time. This will get better and when it does you can tackle the bigger problems like your relationship with your daughter. I am keeping you in my thoughts, OMW "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 I am reading about neurro emotions and trying to make sense of the ones i am having. Mostly a strong agitation in my stomach and a restlessness, sometimes want to scream, attack but the rest of the time a thought or sense I want to punch my stomach (is this self harm thoughts). A anger towards it. It is very intense and disturbing. I am very frustrated that i cant move forward or feel i am moving forward. It is continuous. The struggle of these extremes are constant. Frustration that all my muscles hurt deep inside..arms, back muscles, legs, the muscles are tense achy continuous and i cant do anything just sit with it. Do these feels make sense to anyone,? Thanks for feedback. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 On 3/12/2020 at 8:08 AM, JackieDecides said: you shouldn't move, take it from me. too stressful right now!!! I wish I had better words for you but keep remembering this is all temporary - and you can take a lot more than you think you can. and keep posting! Thank you! so hard day to day to feel so weak. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 On 3/12/2020 at 8:35 AM, Onmyway said: Oh Ella, this sounds so hard especially if you have raised her all by yourself and when you are feeling so vulnerable, helpless and not in control of your life. Are you worried about your daughter's safety - i.e. is this guy isolating her from friends and family members? If not, I would let it go for the time being and focus on healing. My experience in such situations has been that as you try to point out the problems, the person digs in their heels even further and the divide is widened not narrowed. Withdrawal is so hard and isolating and often it amplifies the bad in our life and makes problems seem unsurmountable. You need to take care of yourself now. What helped me was focusig on small things - sunshine, being able to make dinner, going for a short walk, managing through one day at a time. This will get better and when it does you can tackle the bigger problems like your relationship with your daughter. I am keeping you in my thoughts, OMW Thank you for your comment. So need them all. @Onmyway. Just trying to go day to day. Feel very isolated and alone. Not many people to talk to or explain and feel to vulnerable to. Stayed in all day today. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 On 3/11/2020 at 9:58 PM, Colonial said: You haven't "Messed up"... Your just in a "protracted illness" that wants to make you THINK you've messed up by giving you negative emotions... Just treat yourself as gently and only expect as much of yourself as if you were recovering from a bad flu... Baby steps every day.... Gonna head off to bed myself now too... Hope you rest well ❤️ Thank you @Colonial. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 On 3/3/2020 at 6:05 PM, SufferingCelexa said: @Ella56 Sorry to hear you are still going through this after 5 months of w/d. It's been 6 weeks since I w/d from citalopram and my symptoms are similar but I went from 40 to 0 in just 3 weeks. @SufferingCelexa. How you doing now? Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 On 3/11/2020 at 12:16 PM, Happy2Heal said: I'm not aware of any ban on discussing personal issues on this forum, I certainly have shared a lot of very personal things here I think perhaps that there may be a warning around the issue of privacy...? perhaps it was suggested that ppl don't post identifying information to protect their privacy. In any case I am so sorry for what you're going thru in your personal life. I can relate, as a single mother who raised one daughter. We were very close as she was growing up but now she's married and our relationship is rocky at best. It's very hard because my life was centered around her and I felt quite a bit lost when she started shutting me out of her life. I have no advice (and you didn't request any, anyway) but you have my sympathy. It's very tough to be going thru all of this at once. I would guess that at least some of your feelings are genuine sadness not related to WD recovery at all, but may they feel more intense because of WD I also noticed that I am not the only one who has found themselves going thru a lot grief, actually grieving all sorts of things that I may not have fully grieved when I was drugged. Sometimes it feels like an endless well of sadness. I am not troubled by this, because to me it means that there are things in my life that I cared for deeply and things that I still care about deeply- And in my mind feelings are what make life worth living. Caring about things often brings both great joy and great sadness, and I for one would not trade away the joy just because it may one day lead to sadness. I don't know if this helps you at all but just know that you are not alone. @Happy2HealThsnk you. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SufferingCelexa Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 @Ella56I'm ok I guess. Just reinstated 1 mg of Celexa a few days. I don't know for sure but I think I feel a little better. At least my thoughts are not as dark. Just feel lazy. Started Celexa as a sophmore in high school around 2014/2015 I think I took Vyvance 2016/2017 Increased Celexa to 40 mg by 2018 Began to taper Celexa on 12/29/19, cut 1/4 of the 40 mg per week Last dose of Celexa on 1/19/20 Reinstated 1 mg liquid Celexa in March 2020 Currently still taking 1 mg liquid Celexa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 7 hours ago, Ella56 said: Thank you @Colonial. @Colonial can you explain what the terms protracted illness ? Or protracted withdrawal really means? Thanks Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 6 minutes ago, Ella56 said: @Colonial can you explain what the terms protracted illness ? Or protracted withdrawal really means? Thanks Usually anything that takes more than 2 months to completely recover from. Some people use 3 months. Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 8 minutes ago, Colonial said: Usually anything that takes more than 2 months to completely recover from. Some people use 3 months. I still dont understand..r u referring to reinstatement and should recover in 2 to 3 months? Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 3 minutes ago, Ella56 said: I still dont understand..r u referring to reinstatement and should recover in 2 to 3 months? No, reinstatement does not mean you will be recovered that soon. It may help the symptoms and feel better, but it all depends on how long you were off and how much you reinstated to. If you had only been off a few weeks you might feel better sooner. It all depends on many factors, such as did you just taper too fast, or did you CT, ETC. Ans which drugs. And did you do more harm by adding extra drugs Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 @Colonial I dont know if my symptoms are from ativan or ad. Sensory hyoersensitivity, derealization, depression...are more benzos symptoms or are they not? I have been off ativan since feb 3 and took it intermittently over the last 20 years. I never took it everyday. But took about 10 in dec 2019. .05...it is not like i could reinstate that or really went ct from that right? I cant get my head around everythingg and in a lot of fear of getting better. I dont want to do anything that will make it worse and dont know if i am doing what will help. 17 days on 1mg celexa reinstatement. I just found out i have to move in 2weeks and i dont know how that will affect me Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 My guess is it was the CT off the Celexa, but may have or may not been aggravated by the 3 days of Cipralex and the on and off Ativan. But it does not seem like you took that many Ativan, but each brain is different. 17 minutes ago, Ella56 said: Sensory hyoersensitivity, derealization, depression...are more benzos symptoms or are they not? No, I had all those in my AD Withdrawal. Your drug line is not exact enough to under stand. Was your last dose of Celexa Sept 16th, or was that when you started the taper and took the last dose Oct 16th? Either way, You did not reinstate until 2/25. If your last dose was mid sept, and you didnt reinstate until Feb 25th, thats over 5 months, you might not be benefiting from trying to reinstate. They did tell You that was likely not to help more than 3 months out. 17 minutes ago, Ella56 said: I dont want to do anything that will make it worse and dont know if i am doing what will help. The only way to "guarantee" not to make it worse is to not make any more changes. There is no way of knowing what could help reinstating this late. Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 3 minutes ago, Colonial said: My guess is it was the CT off the Celexa, but may have or may not been aggravated by the 3 days of Cipralex and the on and off Ativan. But it does not seem like you took that many Ativan, but each brain is different. No, I had all those in my AD Withdrawal. Your drug line is not exact enough to under stand. Was your last dose of Celexa Sept 16th, or was that when you started the taper and took the last dose Oct 16th? Either way, You did not reinstate until 2/25. If your last dose was mid sept, and you didnt reinstate until Feb 25th, thats over 5 months, you might not be benefiting from trying to reinstate. They did tell You that was likely not to help more than 3 months out. The only way to "guarantee" not to make it worse is to not make any more changes. There is no way of knowing what could help reinstating this late. Sept 16 right off drugs. About 5 months off ..called truehope they said they could help me get off so took all there vitamins aminos and protein shakes but was such a mistake and dont want to make more. I am now thinking i might of went off the pristiq as last ad not celexa..tried it for about 3 months then tapered in a 2week to 3week...cipralex only 2 days and before that celexa for years except st johns wort sometimes. I only really remember back 10 years..but going to get pharmacy notes. I only change meds this last year.trying the pristiq. I took celexa the longest. I can hardly remember the last 5 months. Or 10 years Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 7 minutes ago, Ella56 said: Sept 16 right off drugs. About 5 months off ..called truehope they said they could help me get off so took all there vitamins aminos and protein shakes but was such a mistake and dont want to make more. I am now thinking i might of went off the pristiq as last ad not celexa..tried it for about 3 months then tapered in a 2week to 3week...cipralex only 2 days and before that celexa for years except st johns wort sometimes. I only really remember back 10 years..but going to get pharmacy notes. I only change meds this last year.trying the pristiq. I took celexa the longest. I can hardly remember the last 5 months. Or 10 years Well, that's it then. You Cold Turkey'd off of Celexa twice and Pristiq once in only 6 months. Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 1 hour ago, Colonial said: Well, that's it then. You Cold Turkey'd off of Celexa twice and Pristiq once in only 6 months. So what does that mean for me? Did i ct if i went down to 5mg then went on pristiq and then went down pristiq is 3 weeks. I know its not enough time to taper now. Does it help at all that i took the lowest doze of pristiq? I dont know what i can do for myself except wait at 1mg? Just found out today i have to find a place in 2wkks and move..i am trying to stay calm..i turn my frustration inward. I ised to take ativan for these type of issues or any extra stresses. Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonial Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Ella56 said: So what does that mean for me? Did i ct if i went down to 5mg then went on pristiq and then went down pristiq is 3 weeks. I know its not enough time to taper now. Does it help at all that i took the lowest doze of pristiq? I dont know what i can do for myself except wait at 1mg? Just found out today i have to find a place in 2wkks and move..i am trying to stay calm..i turn my frustration inward. I ised to take ativan for these type of issues or any extra stresses. What it means for You is that You are now in Protracted Withdrawal with Kindling effect and it's going to take you a while to recover. It also means that with so many meds and times taken, there is no way of knowing when the Straw broke the Camels back, so You can stop worrying about it. If you have to find somewhere else to live, that takes priority over worrying about a question that no one can answer, nor would it help you now if we could. But I am sorry You now have this extra Stressor to deal with. However, considering the amount of friction with Your roommate, this may be a HUGE blessing in disguise. Now that you have something more important to worry about, hopefully the new living arrangements will be more conductive to peace and healing. Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg. 12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs, 11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs 4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs, 9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs. Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg for 20 days to: 5/6/15: 100mg for 15 days to: 5/21/15 75mg for 10 days to: 6/1/15: 56.25mg 13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg 7 days to: 6/20/15 28.12mg 14 days to: 7/4/15 18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg 20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6 4/9/17 7.2 5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs, 4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18: 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackieDecides Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 15 hours ago, Ella56 said: Just found out today i have to find a place in 2wkks and move..i am trying to stay calm. that is stressful but as Colonial said, it may be a blessing in disguise. why not assume that is so? it will be hard, but since you have to do it you will find that you can. 🤗 < virtual hug! Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut) Famotidine once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes) magnesium 200 mg at night as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000" off Lexapro as of 5/2018 - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella56 Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 8 hours ago, JackieDecides said: that is stressful but as Colonial said, it may be a blessing in disguise. why not assume that is so? it will be hard, but since you have to do it you will find that you can. 🤗 < virtual hug! @JackieDecidesThank you ! Age 21 started on antidepressants, Paxil, Zoloft cant remember dozes. Most I remember is being on Celexa 10 - 40 mg since 1996 to 2019 up and down. Changed to Pristiq March 2019 to May 2019 lowest doze but quit scared ot it. Went back to Celexa 20mg may 2019 to sept 2019.Tried Cipralex, 3 days, Went off celexa 20 mg Sept 16/19 taper 1 month. Took Ativan .5 to 1 mg on and off for years and some Clonazepam for anxiety. Ativan in dec 2019 about 10 and in jan 2019. .05mg. Brain zaps Agitation, terror and dread, suicidal feelings, stomach in fear. afraid to be alone. Depression Now: feeling disconnected from self and inability to connect with others, anxiety, depression,.emotionally weak and helplesd, ringing in my ears. Feb 25, 2020 reinstated 1mg celexa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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