Lillo: Sort of terrified

[Lillo]

My story begins in 2006.  I was having migraines & nerve pain.  I went to a headache clinic & was given Effexor. I was desperate for relief and so started a prescription of 225 mg/ day.  I continued to take it for several years as I didn’t want the pain to return.  One day, I came across an article that told of the writers difficult experience coming off Effexor.  I researched online & found out how hard this med was to stop & of course, was very upset by this info.  Several times I asked my dr if I could stop, but the taper protocol was always a three week stop and based on what I read, I was afraid to attempt it.  I stopped going to the clinic but continued to get refills from my pcp. I decided I needed to reduce and end my use of this med, and so in September 2015 I successfully tapered to 75 mg without any problems.  Jan 2016 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, so I stayed on 75 mg until treatment finished.  In September 2017 I reduced to 37.5 with no trouble.  In September 2018, I opened the pills and further reduced to 18.75 for one year. This past September I dropped to 9.375.  In January of this year , I thought, I’ve done it. I’m off this drug & stopped it.  Two weeks ago I began having terrible anxiety & obsessive thoughts, feelings that I haven’t had for years.  After researching I realized I came off too quickly.  All that work & I screwed up.  The anxiety became too much & from the info on this site I decided to reinstate this weekend.  I even screwed that dosage up initially, but fixed it.  I’m hoping this will help.  I just want to say I’m terrified. I’m 62 years old.  Is this my next few years?  My daughter is getting married in October & I want to be there for her.  What bad timing!  I keep beating myself up for being so close & then just doing it wrong.  I feel so defeated & frightened. I don’t even know why I took this drug for 14 years. Maybe I should have just kept taking it to avoid withdrawal.  Maybe I should stay off the internet. 

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, Lillo.

 

We need a little more information about your reinstatement so that we may better advise you.

 

1.  What dosage did you reinstate this weekend (that you "screwed up")?

 

2. What dosage did you change to (that "fixed it")?

 

3. What was the date when you changed to the "fix it" dosage?

 

4. What type of Effexor are you taking?

 

5. How are you feeling now?  Have your symptoms improved?

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can answer my questions, ask your own questions and connect with other members.

We're glad you found your way here.

Edited March 2, 2020 by Gridley

[Lillo]

1 hour ago, Gridley said:

Welcome to SA, Lillo.

 

We need a little more information about your reinstatement so that we may better advise you.

 

1.  What dosage did you reinstate this weekend (that you "screwed up")?

 

2. What dosage did you change to (that "fixed it")?

 

3. What was the date when you changed to the "fix it" dosage?

 

4. What type of Effexor are you taking?

 

5. How are you feeling now?  Have your symptoms improved?

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can answer my questions, ask your own questions and connect with other members.

We're glad you found your way here.

[Lillo]

I initially started at my jump off dosage of approx 9 mg on fri, sat & sun. Last night, after rereading the info, l realized I misunderstood and so today I took 4. 1 mg.  I am taking Venlafaxine XR.  I am feeling extremely weepy & anxious, but I’m not sure if it’s because I’m upset about my mistake or the withdrawal.  Thank you so much for responding.  I’m afraid I’ve done more harm than good.  Please help

[Gridley]

Lillo,

 

I'm bringing your situation to the attention of the other moderators.

 

It takes a little more than a week for the reinstatement to reach full state in your system.

[Lillo]

Thank you

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Lillo.

 

How do you feel now that you've taken a little Effexor for a couple of days?

 

It's important to take the same amount at the same time to give it a good trial. It will take 4-7 days to take full effect. Please let us know how you're doing.

[Rhiannon]

Don't worry, Lillo, you are feeling withdrawal right now and that can be pretty intense and make us feel crazy and hopeless, but you are going to be fine. You've really done a very good job with your taper, except for just jumping off a little too high at the end. You can reinstate now and take some time to stabilize and I think you'll be feeling just fine by fall and able to enjoy your daughter's wedding and be there for her. And then you can taper slowly off the last of the drug. I think you will have minimal symptoms, if any, as long as you take it slow.

 

You've really done a very good job with your slow taper and I think you're going to do fine once you get past this wobble. It might not feel like that for a while, but hang in there, things will settle down.

[Lillo]

Alto, I actually feel some relief after taking it that wanes as the 24 hours progresses.  Should l stick to the 4.1 mgs?

[Lillo]

Rhiannon, thank you for your caring words. I need them❤️

[Lillo]

Alto, it comes & goes through the day

[Effexorless]

Hi Lillo!  I want to give you a big hug right now!  I am also an Effexor survivor and experienced exactly what you are describing.  Just like you I realized the mistake in ever taking Effexor after the fact and stayed on the drug for too long because I couldn't seem to stop.  I also wondered if I needed what I call a "band aid" drug to help with the withdrawal.  I jumped off of 37.5 and now know that was a mistake.  The anxiety and terror I experienced was horrible.  I probably would have reinstated if my sister had not begged me to stay the course ... she said she didn't want to lose me again now that she had me back.  I wish I had found this site before I dove right into my kamikaze mission, they are very knowledgeable and so supportive and caring here.  The information available in this forum is invaluable!  I used CBD to help with my anxiety and CBD with Melatonin to sleep. I see fish oil recomended on here and I took that also as I had already been taking it for years.   I don't know if the CBD actually helped with the anxiety or was just a placebo ... but whatever it was it made me feel like it helped :).  Lots of hugs and support!!

 

 

[FindRest]

Lillo, I agree with Rhi. You will be fine once you find a good dose to stabilize on. You’ve caught this quickly and I have no doubt you will stabilize soon. 

[Lillo]

Altostrata & Gridley, just wondering what dose I should stay on?

[Gridley]

@Lillo

 

@Altostrata

 

Lillo, I've moved your PM here to your thread. It's better to give advice here rather than in PM so that other moderators and administrators can contribute.

 

Gridley, sorry to bother you & don’t want to be a pest, but my dosage is due in one hour.  Please let me know what I should do.  Thanks for your help

Now anxiety is super high & awful

 

previous PM

 

Took 9mg on fri, sat & sun.  Went to 4.1 yesterday.  Feeling very anxious with breaks in between.  Ebb & flo

 

Lillo, how are you feeling now as compared to when you were at zero?  As compared to when you were at 9mg?  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Lillo]

@Gridleybetter now than at zero.  Hard to say if 9mg was better than now. I think it was slightly better, but I’m afraid to go all over the place.  It seems that you’re not supposed to reinstate that high

[Lillo]

@Gridleymy dosage is due in 5 minutes.  Please help.  I’m so scared

[Gridley]

I'd stay where you are at 4.1mg.  As I said it'll take a little more than a week to reach full state in your system.,

 

@Lillo

Edited March 3, 2020 by Gridley

[Lillo]

@Gridley you are an awesome & caring human being. Thanks for your help

[Rhiannon]

23 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

 

It's important to take the same amount at the same time to give it a good trial. It will take 4-7 days to take full effect. Please let us know how you're doing.

 

Lillo, remember this, if it helps. The most important thing right now is not so much getting the precise dose as being very consistent, so don't worry yourself, just take the same dose at the same time every day. Your symptoms will settle down over time and then you can fine-tune the dosage if necessary.

 

It takes a while to stabilize in WD and reinstatement, regardless of the dosage. Hang in there. You are going to feel better. And in the long run I think you're going to do great.

[Altostrata]

Lillo, please take the same dose at the same time each day. Keep careful notes. We will need to see how it works. Expect some ups and downs. Please let us know how you're doing.

[Lillo]

@Rhiannon Your reassuring words are greatly appreciated. @Effexorless@FindRest, thanks for your encouragement.

[Lillo]

@Altostrata@Rhiannon Hi.  It’s been a week of reinstatement and I’ve been in a mixed place.  I still feel very nervous  & weepy, but have had some good periods as well.  I’m also feeling somewhat alone, not from support from family & friends, I have that, but from some medical guidance.  Should I be consulting with a psychiatrist or neurologist?  Is it ok to go this without professional help?  I know stability can take awhile, but how should I be feeling now?  I don’t know if I’m amplifying the anxiety by my feelings of fear.  

[Altostrata]

As I said earlier, you will have ups and downs but on the average, you should feel better as time goes on.

 

Do your symptoms follow any daily pattern?  Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. You can post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right.

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

What did your doctor tell you before you joined this site? Very few psychiatrists or neurologists know anything about reversing antidepressant withdrawal syndrome. If you find one, please let us know.

 

[Lillo]

I haven’t consulted with a dr in quite some time on this.  I was first prescribed this by a neurologist for headache and nerve pain.  After a few years he told me to reduce the traditional way, which I knew was not good.  I stopped going to him and continued to fill the prescription through my pcp, mostly out of fear of stopping.  I’ve recently gotten a new pcp, and saw her on Monday to discuss this.  She said she has gotten people off ADs the traditional way, and looked at me like I had 2 heads when I suggested I was having withdrawal.  So part of my anxiety is that I’m doing this without any Drs assistance.  I’ve been keeping a journal and will provide that info later today, and also my history.  

[Lillo]

Fri, March 6

@Altostrata@Rhiannon

@Gridley

7:15 woke up

9am- arrived at work

9am- 12pm anxiety continues to build

12 pm took 4.1 mg effexor

12:30- ate lunch

1pm-4:30pm work, anxiety rising uncomfortably 

5:15 home

7 pm dinner

7pm-12am anxiety peaks and ebbs through evening

12 am bed, but very little sleep.  Heart racing & pounding, body jerking

This has been my pattern for the week.  I got some relief on Tuesday, which I wonder is attributable to the higher dose l started at. I went down on Monday.

Sleep has been totally elusive and I’m starting to panic.  I’m thinking I need to check into a hospital

[Gridley]

5 hours ago, Lillo said:

I’m thinking I need to check into a hospital

 

Sleep is elusive for many if not most of us.  It is no reason to panic.

 

Checking into a hospital has to be your decision.  Just be aware that they will give you a lot of drugs without any knowledge of how they will affect you and that they will have no more knowledge than your new pcp. As you observed in your session with the pcp, doctors have no knowledge whatsoever about withdrawal and don't even believe it exists.

 

Rhiannon gave you some excellent advice in her earlier post to you.  I would re-read it more than once.

[Rhiannon]

Lillo, as hard as it is to believe, we have all been through what you're going through. It's awful, I know. But you can get through it. This is the worst of it. Try to use all the tricks and tips given here to get through.

 

You can turn to doctors and hospitals, but in our experience, they will put you on more drugs, and you'll be back on the merry-go-round. It's up to you. The merry-go-round of withdrawal/moredrugs/ more withdrawal/drugs not working so changed/etc stole 20 years of my life. When I finally figured out that the drugs were the problem and started the process of coming off them, it was pretty rough for the first six months or so, and then not great for a while after that, but I am SO SO SO grateful that I chose that path, because at the age of 64 I now have my SELF back and I am able to be the kind of parent to my adult children that I was never able to be when they were little (which is the greatest grief of my life, and due to these damned drugs).

 

You might take a look at Erell's thread to get a picture of what withdrawal, reinstatement and stabilization looks like. It's rough but it's time-limited, it does pass.

 

You've done such a great job of tapering down, you just jumped off at too high of a dose. If you can hang in there, reinstate, stabilize, you can get back on track. 

 

But that said, I know it's very rough and you need to do whatever is right for you.