Hanna72: I will be free

[mustafa]

On 8/6/2020 at 10:03 PM, Hanna72 said:

. I am kind of over them now😂

Iam persuaded now you are healing 😂😂.

The same for alot.of people who started to find happiness in their normal life activities not only in a powerful and motivating song. 

But really, We have to say thanks for every thing that help us keep healing❤.

Music was always pushing positively.

Higs to you too and please caring yourself alot too.

Good night.

[marie123]

Hi Hannah. I am glad you are experiencing windows. They give us time to rest and feel normal. The windows will get longer and better and the waves will fizzle away after a bit. That's what is coming after you've finished tapering. You are on your way. Marie.

[Erell]

Hello dear ☀️

 

I wanted to thank you for mentionning Nisargadatta Maharaj : I like to listen to spiritual teachers in the evening, and I found a French translated audio. 

If you have other names to suggest, I will be glad to discover them

 

 

I love thinking of you boxing while listening to "Eyes of the tiger" 😃

 

Really glad to read that you're having a nice window of joy, joy and love are healing and healers ❤

[Hanna72]

Thank you so much sweet @Erellfor dropping by with you kind supporting words. Means a lot 💖

Yes I like listening to the spiritual teachers also. They give me so much comfort and I need to listen to them to change my thinking pattern . It’s like a whole new chapter comes in after stopping Paxil. In the sense that everything feels more intense. I have so many emotions coming my way in all shapes and form. For the first time in 20 years I have to start to learn how to cope with it all and it is so challenging at times and scary. I tell myself every day, time is my friend. I need to believe it and accept what is, not judge like I do so many times.
 

2 hours ago, Erell said:

I love thinking of you boxing while listening to "Eyes of the tiger" 😃

I would not call it boxing, rather punching into thin air😆

2 hours ago, Erell said:

If you have other names to suggest, I will be glad to discover them

I will for sure😊

I saw that you mentioned Alan Gordon’s recovery program. I have to take a look at that👍
Just love all the good information on this site.

Take good care of yourself, one day at a time 🙏💖

[Erell]

6 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

For the first time in 20 years I have to start to learn how to cope with it all and it is so challenging at times and scary. I tell myself every day, time is my friend. I need to believe it and accept what is, not judge like I do so many times.

 

Don't be to harsh with yourself : you went through a lot this year and seems to have coped as best as you could !

 

It sounds like you're judging yourself because you have issues to cope with emotions. Please, keep in mind that those emotions are probably not only 'normal' emotions but rather neuro-emotions from WD. And dealing with neuro-emotions is probably one of the hardest thing we can go through.

 

We are learning great tools and practices, but we are learning during our biggest challenge. 

And, for what it is worth, it sounds like you've already taken big steps on the path to acceptance.

One day at a time, like you say 😊

 

 

Hugs ❤

[Hanna72]

17 hours ago, Erell said:

Please, keep in mind that those emotions are probably not only 'normal' emotions but rather neuro-emotions from WD. And dealing with neuro-emotions is probably one of the hardest thing we can go through.

Thank you for reminding me of those “neuro emotions “ I had forgotten about those. 
I have already started looking into that one.

You are such a great help to me, much appreciated.

Thank you💖

[Hanna72]

Hi everyone.

I wanted to drop by today and share a documentary that has stuck with me through my tapering off Paxil. I did a lot of research and watched a whole bunch of documentaries before I started my tapering. It played a big role in why I wanted to give coming off Paxil, one more shot.

I hope it’s ok that I post it here

 

Enjoy your weekend and keep on fighting, our health matters and we will win in the end💪

[Hanna72]

Hi everyone 

Just a quick update 

I am doing good. I will be signing off for a while now. So if I don’t respond, know that nothing is wrong. I am going to focus on my own recovery , keeping it as stress free and simple as I can. 
Still dealing with anxiety, but learning and using my coping skills. It’s not crippling, but I still have very sensitive nervous system. 
I am also preparing for a nicotine free life, why stop here🤩

Let’s see how that one goes 🤞

I want you to know that what ever your goal in life is, that with determination, positive outlook and faith, ANYTHING is possible. 
Yes it’s hard, but in the end so worth it, know that.

 

“Nothing is impossible

until it’s done”

Take care everyone 💖

[Cocopuffz17]

5 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

Hi everyone 

Just a quick update 

I am doing good. I will be signing off for a while now. So if I don’t respond, know that nothing is wrong. I am going to focus on my own recovery , keeping it as stress free and simple as I can. 
Still dealing with anxiety, but learning and using my coping skills. It’s not crippling, but I still have very sensitive nervous system. 
I am also preparing for a nicotine free life, why stop here🤩

Let’s see how that one goes 🤞

I want you to know that what ever your goal in life is, that with determination, positive outlook and faith, ANYTHING is possible. 
Yes it’s hard, but in the end so worth it, know that.

 

“Nothing is impossible

until it’s done”

Take care everyone 💖

Great news! You got this! All the best to you! 

[sunnysideup69]

Way to go @Hanna72 xxx

[Hanna72]

Thank you sunny and coco💖

I am struggling these days. My anxiety is high as never before, I wake up every morning with knot in my stomach. 
I had to place my beloved cat in new home due to allergies that have never been so bad. My heart is crushed. I have always had animals, so this is really hard on me being alone. My pets have always been my comfort place. Really loved them more then humans. Now I have to face everything with out my Paxil drug and everything seems so huge in my eyes. I have come to realise that I am my own worst enemy. My thinking pattern and emotions are all over the place, it’s like I don’t know what to do with them. I have to admit that I find myself thinking that my brain doesn’t work the way it is supposed to. I can’t focus, I have constant brain fog and I am scared a lot of times. 
But I always like to look at the positive 😁

I can work

I can do my craft

I love to read and I do a lot of it

I am aware of my own thoughts(working on ignoring them)

I can interact really good with others

My sleep is mostly good

I still use music to shut down my thoughts, it’s the most beneficial skill that I use. And I dance to release tension. I know it’s not a good look😂

I will come in here and support you guys, when I can, it helps me in a strange way. I think that everyone in here has a beautiful soul, we might all be more sensitive then others, that’s what makes us unique, and we should embrace that. In fact in my opinion it’s a huge quality. 
Take care and let’s go, we never give up on ourselves 💪

[Cocopuffz17]

26 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

Thank you sunny and coco💖

I am struggling these days. My anxiety is high as never before, I wake up every morning with knot in my stomach. 
I had to place my beloved cat in new home due to allergies that have never been so bad. My heart is crushed. I have always had animals, so this is really hard on me being alone. My pets have always been my comfort place. Really loved them more then humans. Now I have to face everything with out my Paxil drug and everything seems so huge in my eyes. I have come to realise that I am my own worst enemy. My thinking pattern and emotions are all over the place, it’s like I don’t know what to do with them. I have to admit that I find myself thinking that my brain doesn’t work the way it is supposed to. I can’t focus, I have constant brain fog and I am scared a lot of times. 
But I always like to look at the positive 😁

I can work

I can do my craft

I love to read and I do a lot of it

I am aware of my own thoughts(working on ignoring them)

I can interact really good with others

My sleep is mostly good

I still use music to shut down my thoughts, it’s the most beneficial skill that I use. And I dance to release tension. I know it’s not a good look😂

I will come in here and support you guys, when I can, it helps me in a strange way. I think that everyone in here has a beautiful soul, we might all be more sensitive then others, that’s what makes us unique, and we should embrace that. In fact in my opinion it’s a huge quality. 
Take care and let’s go, we never give up on ourselves 💪

You got this! Look at all those positives you just listed!! Things will get better. I know exactly how you feel. It will get better! 
 

Absolutely! Never give up! We don’t just survive, we thrive!!! 

[Hanna72]

@Cocopuffz17awww your the best thanks 💖

[Mimi79]

Hi @Hanna72,

So sorry that you are struggling with anxiety. Don’t forget it’s probably still neuroemotions, so time will help to bring some calm and inner peace. 
I’m always amazed how strong and beautiful You are! Always seeing the positive everyday. You are inspiring! I have to learn from you...
 

I wish you some inner calm and peace very soon...

Take care of you and big hugs from Quebec!

 

Mimi

[mustafa]

11 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Thank you sunny and coco💖

I am struggling these days. My anxiety is high as never before, I wake up every morning with knot in my stomach. 
I had to place my beloved cat in new home due to allergies that have never been so bad. My heart is crushed. I have always had animals, so this is really hard on me being alone. My pets have always been my comfort place. Really loved them more then humans. Now I have to face everything with out my Paxil drug and everything seems so huge in my eyes. I have come to realise that I am my own worst enemy. My thinking pattern and emotions are all over the place, it’s like I don’t know what to do with them. I have to admit that I find myself thinking that my brain doesn’t work the way it is supposed to. I can’t focus, I have constant brain fog and I am scared a lot of times. 
But I always like to look at the positive 😁

I can work

I can do my craft

I love to read and I do a lot of it

I am aware of my own thoughts(working on ignoring them)

I can interact really good with others

My sleep is mostly good

I still use music to shut down my thoughts, it’s the most beneficial skill that I use. And I dance to release tension. I know it’s not a good look😂

I will come in here and support you guys, when I can, it helps me in a strange way. I think that everyone in here has a beautiful soul, we might all be more sensitive then others, that’s what makes us unique, and we should embrace that. In fact in my opinion it’s a huge quality. 
Take care and let’s go, we never give up on ourselves 💪

As a reader of such text, I will never notice anything wrong; your words are so strong and motivating hanaa.

Keep going, it is a very good sign that u are able to function.

Take good care of yourself.

[Hanna72]

Thank you @Mimi79 for your kind words you sent my way. Really appreciate it🙏
And sweet @mustafa 💖

[Longroadhome]

15 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Thank you sunny and coco💖

I am struggling these days. My anxiety is high as never before, I wake up every morning with knot in my stomach. 
I had to place my beloved cat in new home due to allergies that have never been so bad. My heart is crushed. I have always had animals, so this is really hard on me being alone. My pets have always been my comfort place. Really loved them more then humans. Now I have to face everything with out my Paxil drug and everything seems so huge in my eyes. I have come to realise that I am my own worst enemy. My thinking pattern and emotions are all over the place, it’s like I don’t know what to do with them. I have to admit that I find myself thinking that my brain doesn’t work the way it is supposed to. I can’t focus, I have constant brain fog and I am scared a lot of times. 
But I always like to look at the positive 😁

I can work

I can do my craft

I love to read and I do a lot of it

I am aware of my own thoughts(working on ignoring them)

I can interact really good with others

My sleep is mostly good

I still use music to shut down my thoughts, it’s the most beneficial skill that I use. And I dance to release tension. I know it’s not a good look😂

I will come in here and support you guys, when I can, it helps me in a strange way. I think that everyone in here has a beautiful soul, we might all be more sensitive then others, that’s what makes us unique, and we should embrace that. In fact in my opinion it’s a huge quality. 
Take care and let’s go, we never give up on ourselves 💪

@Hanna72

you may not feel it and remember 1 step forward 4 back at first but you ARE healing 

keep going 
you’re such a lovely person your healing won’t be overlooked you WILL recover 😊

[Cigale]

On 9/1/2020 at 10:21 PM, Hanna72 said:

But I always like to look at the positive 😁

 

Hello @Hanna72 - I hope you are having a good day. I want to let you know how much I appreciate you and your kind, positive attitude. You inspire me!

[Hanna72]

Thank you so much @Longroadhome and @Cigale for your kind words, you give me strength💖

I have noticed that my anxiety is worst in the morning, and gets better as the day comes. It is weird.

I am feeling like my biggest challenge is now, that is living without Paxil. There are so many challenges, and I am super sensitive to everything around me. 
It’s good that I am reminded that it’s neuro emotions, it gives me comfort knowing I have to give my body time to heal. I am also learning new thinking patterns, and I know it takes time to change them.

I tell myself self every day, “pick yourself up, you CAN do this “

 

I have put in my daily routine, cold shower to snap out of my anxiety, and afterward I feel calmer 🙏

Just looking for ways to make my journey a bit easier.

Take care🥰

[Erell]

Hello dear

 

34 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

 

I am feeling like my biggest challenge is now, that is living without Paxil. There are so many challenges, and I am super sensitive to everything around me. 

 

Sure living without AD is a challenge psychologically, but remember that rather than your old self it is more likely that your CNS is slowly and gradually healing.

 

Your posts show that you're going through windows and waves, and that you suffer from very common patterns in WD healing (for example, anxiety worse in the morning).

You're super sensitive, not because you don't know how to live without Paxil, but because your CNS has a lot of healing to do and is working hard to adapt/repair.

Your Windows sound like a sign that you know how to live without Paxil and just need more time ☺

 

I'm really glad to read that even if you're struggling you manage to be functionnal and work. Sure it shows your strenght ! 🤗

 

Hanna, I can't predict anything, but I do believe that I will read your success story in the near future : your mindset sounds so positive, and you seem to be so determined, I'm ready to bet that with enough time you will report that you're dancing in the street with a big smile ❤

 

 

(Cold showers in the evenings are my best tip to slow down before going to bed 😉)

[Hanna72]

@Erell aww thank you for this lovely post. You just made my day🥰

Sending you my best wishes back at you🙏

[sunnysideup69]

Hi @Hanna72, dropping by to say hello. Sorry about the anxiety, it's a b****. It's mostly not you, but neuroemotions, plus your own worries being magnified as your brain heals.

 

Healing is happening. Sending hugs xxx

[Hanna72]

A quick update, and this one is positive 😊

So for the first time in weeks I woke up without a knot in my stomach. I feel so calm and content. Can’t even tell you how grateful I am for this feeling just writing it here gets me emotional 

I will embrace this day
I have been struggling for a few weeks now, and I have been working hard on my own well-being. I believe I am building up a solid foundation for my own health The connection I feel towards my mind and body is overwhelming at times. 
The strange thing is I am not as angry now as I have been towards this process. I am more at ease with it even at my worst days. I don’t force myself anymore and I am beginning to know my limits and what works for me slowly but surely.

 

What I still struggle with is

Concentration 

brain fog

 anxiety (not to day though)

blurred vision 

feeling of terror 

memory

a feeling of not being connected to my environment, like being an outsider looking in

There have been moments where I reached  out for my oxezapam, have it in my hand but put it back in its box .I have used it one time in the past 2 months.

 

Its raining here, my favourite weather, a time for my walk.

One day at a time and I will reach my destination 🙏

 

Hugs to you all💖

[Longroadhome]

17 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

A quick update, and this one is positive 😊

So for the first time in weeks I woke up without a knot in my stomach. I feel so calm and content. Can’t even tell you how grateful I am for this feeling just writing it here gets me emotional 

I will embrace this day
I have been struggling for a few weeks now, and I have been working hard on my own well-being. I believe I am building up a solid foundation for my own health The connection I feel towards my mind and body is overwhelming at times. 
The strange thing is I am not as angry now as I have been towards this process. I am more at ease with it even at my worst days. I don’t force myself anymore and I am beginning to know my limits and what works for me slowly but surely.

 

What I still struggle with is

Concentration 

brain fog

 anxiety (not to day though)

blurred vision 

feeling of terror 

memory

a feeling of not being connected to my environment, like being an outsider looking in

There have been moments where I reached  out for my oxezapam, have it in my hand but put it back in its box .I have used it one time in the past 2 months.

 

Its raining here, my favourite weather, a time for my walk.

One day at a time and I will reach my destination 🙏

 

Hugs to you all💖

Well done Hanna 

feel really proud of you 👍 !!! 

keep going remain positive focus on your destination !! 
you're slaying a monster !!!!! 
hugs right back to you so glad no anxiety for you today 😊

[Hanna72]

My 6 months anniversary is today 😃

Its à huge milestone for me, sometimes I can’t even believe it.

I had the most interesting experience yesterday evening. Had been in a wave all day, and as my work shift was ending there was this unreal shift. I experienced so much clarity and silence. At one point I thought I was going mad, but I think I felt an unbelievable feeling of the no thought and present moment. It only lasted few minutes, but that feeling of extreme calm  I have never had before. 
Had to document it in here, and I pray that this shift is an indicator that true healing of my brain is taking place.

Just really grateful!
 

 

[Cigale]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful, peaceful experience @Hanna72! You are healing!

 

And thank you for all the soothing kindness and wisdom you have shared with me. I am grateful for you! 

[Hanna72]

Thank you dear @Cigale for dropping by with your kind words.

I appreciate it deeply.

Hugs to you 💖

[Erell]

Happy anniversary dear Hannah ! ❤

I know anxiety is playing tricks with you, but you have such a strong mindset I hzbe no doubt you'll get through this and keep on being such an inspiration for many people.

 

This calm you felt the other day, I bet it must have given you a powerfull sense of being in the now ! I hope it gaves you the impetus you needed to keep going 🤗

 

I was wondering : have you tried magnesium ?

 

I'm rooting for you, always! ☀️

[Hanna72]

Aww thank you so much dear @Erell for dropping by with your kind words, always good to hear from you.

49 minutes ago, Erell said:

I was wondering : have you tried magnesium ?

Yes I have taken magnesium and omega fish oil, as suggested on this site ever since I entered this community. Never miss a dose.

I have also just recently added in d vitamin and I drink freshly squeezed lemon in water for my immune system every morning.

I am careful with adding in too much at a time, but I was wondering, should I start add in b vitamin, or maybe b12. Any thoughts?

Thank you 😊 

[Frogie]

On 9/16/2020 at 5:03 AM, Hanna72 said:

My 6 months anniversary is today 😃

Its à huge milestone for me, sometimes I can’t even believe it.

I had the most interesting experience yesterday evening. Had been in a wave all day, and as my work shift was ending there was this unreal shift. I experienced so much clarity and silence. At one point I thought I was going mad, but I think I felt an unbelievable feeling of the no thought and present moment. It only lasted few minutes, but that feeling of extreme calm  I have never had before. 
Had to document it in here, and I pray that this shift is an indicator that true healing of my brain is taking place.

Just really grateful!
 

 

I’m sorry I missed this.

Happy Anniversary!

And many more healing days to you🎉👏🏻💜

[Hanna72]

@Frogie

Thank you so much, I appreciate it💖

[Frogie]

15 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

I was wondering, should I start add in b vitamin, or maybe b12. Any thoughts?

Just my thought, but b vitamins can be very stimulating so please be careful. 

[Hanna72]

@Frogie
Thank you, I will avoid it then.

I appreciate it 🙏

[sunnysideup69]

Hey @Hanna72, happy anniversary, you are healing and an inspiration!

Also, try to get your b vits from leafy greens / meat, if you  eat it, rather than a supplement....as suggested above. Sending love and hugs xxx

[Mimi79]

Happy Anniversary without ADs!

It’s wonderful to see how you are going and growing through this journey. 

You are so kind and inspiring for us, always the good words to lift us and make us feel better.

 

I have this feeling that you are like my angel, looking for me and helping me.
I’m sure you are a warm and caring person. Your friends and family are lucky to have you in their lives. I hope they realize it!

I’m so grateful to you...

 

Thank you for all and have a nice anniversary day!

 

Mimi79

 

 

 

 

[Erell]

I agree with Froggie : people report that b vitamins can be stimulating while in WD.

 

You might find this thread interesting  :

 

 

 

Hugs  ❤