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☼ Hanna72: I will be free


Hanna72

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Hanna72 That really is a bummer, no support!   Well, you do know you have a ton of it here.

6 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

I am blasting Christina Aguilera song fighter

 

You are lucky you can tolerate loud noises🤪  I can get over stimulated very easily. Watching tv can be over stimulating😞 

 

I am carious how troubling your symptoms are when you are in a wave.  I really want to cut 1% or 2% off of my Lex.  I think it is part of my problem.  It effects my appetite and I think it over stimulates me. Hubby tells me that all you can do it try and see how it goes.  I am terrified, it was so  bad in the  spring😰  

 

Hang in there, your wave will be over soon.

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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  • Hanna72

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My dear friends. @sunnysideup69 @Erell@Longroadhome @Cigale @Mimi79 and you all that have given me support on here There are no words to describe the kindness, support and encouragement you have all s

Hi @sunnysideup69 Thank you for dropping by😊  Hope you are well. I have been waiting for some stability in my progress, and I didn’t want to give an update until I could feel a consistent progres

Hi everyone  Just wanted to drop in here and give an update.  First I am sorry that I can’t support people here now since it’s to overwhelming for me and I am trying to not over think this jour

Try to discover if its a reaction to qomething you did, eat or drank. So you can be aware of it in the near future.

  • I'm a 42 years old male
  • I've got a job in business and economics
  • I'm into sports, animals and nature
  • I started using 20 mg Paroxetine (Paxil) in 2004 for stressrelated anxiety
  • I attempted several times to stop using Paroxetine, starting a few years after 2004
  • I found out in 2015 about paxil withdrawal symptoms and the 5-10% taper
  • I started using liquid Seroxat suspension in 2015/2016
  • From 20 mg to 12 mg, I went down 5-10%
  • From 12 mg down I was forced to take smaller steps (0,2 ml/4-6 weeks)

 

Switch to suspension/fluid

  • 09/2018 at 11.2 mg (5,6 ml) of Seroxat suspension
  • 11/2018 Switch back to 5,7 ml (11,4 mg)
  • Started trying the brassmonkey micro-taper method end dec 2018
  • 07/2021 Current dose 5,6 ml (11.2 mg) after >1 year of withdrawal issues (several food sensitivities and conflicts with painkillers, caffein, grapefruit, chocolate etc.)
  • First goal is to reach 5ml (2022)
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sunnysideup69

Hey @Hanna72, hope this wave buggers off soon! I'm sure it will. You're doing such a good job of waiting things out. Sending some good, summery vibes your way. Having to use imagination as it's currently very rainy here in UK 😂 xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Thank you all for your support and dropping by💕

 

@Greatful Yes sometimes I can listen loudly to music, it varies as so much else in this journey. I know how you feel about being scared of dropping a dose. When you do, I think it’s very wise doing a small 1% as you mentioned, just to test the waters out and seeing how it goes for you. 
You are doing the best you can, and supporting so many of us in here, thank you 🙏 

 

@Sebas I am sure that the pandemic plays a big role this time around for me. As I am a health care worker and the situation in my country is not good at the moment. 
How are you doing?

 

@sunnysideup69At last we got some sunny days here in Reykjavik, guess the rain has moved over to the UK 😊


 

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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  • Moderator

Hello dear @Hanna72,

 

Oh I didn't realise you work in health care, no doubt this particular year has been and still is a challenge.

Thank you for all you do ❤

 

I hope this wave passes soon 🙏

 

That is so great to be able to listen to music, music and dancing can be such amazing tools !

 

Don't hesitate to hold if it feeis like your body needs it, you've through a lot lately.

 

I am so proud of you, I love having the luck to be inspired by so many of you!

 

Take good care dear friend ☀️

2006 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, taper to 0.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22 Aug 2019 updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

* 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* Prozac : 6.8 mg (15 Sept 2021)/ 6.88mg (14 Aug 2021)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 2021)

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Thank you dear @Erellfor your kind words. 
You continue to amaze me with your resilience and strength, and your posts of encouragement and support always brighten  up my day even though I know you are struggling.

You are my inspiration and I am grateful to have you along this journey with me.


Thank you my friend for supporting me as always 

Big hug sent your way 💕

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Hi everyone 

Still sitting in a deep wave. I am just so discouraged today and feel enormous depression. I have never been a depressed person so this is just disheartening. I keep asking myself if this is my new reality, everything revolves around my tapering, I need to avoid this, can’t do that and so on.

I feel so lonely, wish I had someone to hug me and help me and tell me that I will make it to the other side.

On top it’s the damn menopause crushing me with hot flushes day in and day out, it’s exhausting.

I just want to live a normal life were I don’t have to constantly think about this journey and avoid things that will not set me back into my nervous system to spiral.

I am sorry for this depressing post, I am just having a rough time. 
Take care everyone 💕

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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Phoenixmama

Hang in there , it’ll pass , so you have a support animal ? It really helps me when I’m down 

 

 

started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g

feb 26th took 5mg

feb 27th took 5mg 

feb 28th cold turkey 

currently taking mag

 

 

 

 

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Menopause itself can be enough to create depressed feelings. Body is adjusting to new hormonal balance. It's likely the interaction of withdrawal and menopause that creates these heavy waves. It's sort of a combined withdrawal.

 

My sister recently went through breastcancer therapy and is currently in early menopause. She's also got these flashes and feelings.

 

And then the covid/job circumstances as a third factor. So take it easy on yourself.

 

Keep going, tough situations build strong people in the end 😉💪👋

  • I'm a 42 years old male
  • I've got a job in business and economics
  • I'm into sports, animals and nature
  • I started using 20 mg Paroxetine (Paxil) in 2004 for stressrelated anxiety
  • I attempted several times to stop using Paroxetine, starting a few years after 2004
  • I found out in 2015 about paxil withdrawal symptoms and the 5-10% taper
  • I started using liquid Seroxat suspension in 2015/2016
  • From 20 mg to 12 mg, I went down 5-10%
  • From 12 mg down I was forced to take smaller steps (0,2 ml/4-6 weeks)

 

Switch to suspension/fluid

  • 09/2018 at 11.2 mg (5,6 ml) of Seroxat suspension
  • 11/2018 Switch back to 5,7 ml (11,4 mg)
  • Started trying the brassmonkey micro-taper method end dec 2018
  • 07/2021 Current dose 5,6 ml (11.2 mg) after >1 year of withdrawal issues (several food sensitivities and conflicts with painkillers, caffein, grapefruit, chocolate etc.)
  • First goal is to reach 5ml (2022)
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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Hanna72 

3 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Still sitting in a deep wave. I am just so discouraged today and feel enormous depression. I have never been a depressed person so this is just disheartening.

 

I really feel your pain.  I wish we could all be together and hold each other😰

Why do you think the depression  hits so hard? I am struggling with it also and it is horrendous.

What is your secret at accepting it.  I try to let it be, but then it also attacks your thoughts and morphs them negatively.

 

I swear something is in the air.  So many members are struggling right now.

You are repeating a lot of  what I am reading.

 

3 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

I feel so lonely, wish I had someone to hug me and help me and tell me that I will make it to the other side.

I wish we could be together and hold each other.  I have a dream..............I will win the lottery and open a huge compound were people can come and stay when they are healing.

 

  

 

I am  glad that you are reaching out for help and let your pain be heard.  As awful as it sounds it is encouragement to other members as a reminder that there are many of us going through this journey and we all have hard times. We all need help and encouragement to have confidence that we are all the same and are here for each other.  We may not know what you look like or hear the sound of your voice, but we do hear your pain and know you are a unique and beautiful person. 💕

 

 You are also strong, compassionate and  I know you have  really good coping skills and you will make it through this.  ❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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Longroadhome

@Hanna72

I hear you. 
We all do and we all understand what you are going through. some of the depression Is part of the on going battle of WD and the relentless round of symptoms we must endure.
there’s no doubt it’s a difficult journey. 
In times like this it’s best to not think ahead to the next day or week etc but to concentrate on acceptance right here right now.  It’s no good fighting you have to lay down your weapons and surrender. It’s the only way . ACCEPTANCE and planning your day going about your business with the symptoms present but trying not to give them too much attention. 
 

thinking of you Hanna x 
 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Thank you all for taking the time to send me these supporting and kind words. Knowing you all have difficulties with your own lives just shows how incredible human beings you all are, and that goes for all of you in here. 
Thank you❤️
 

@PhoenixmamaI couldn’t agree more with having animals for support. I love animals and have always had a dog since being a kid. I don’t have any at the moment, but I have been looking into it for few months now, so we’ll see if I find a match for me. 

@SebasYou are absolutely right about the menopause. Sorry to hear that your sister had to go through that. Hope she is pulling through. Thank you for the encouragement I needed to hear that.


@GreatfulThank you for those beautiful words you sent my way. And I love your idea of us all being together in a compound. We are all together in spirit that’s for sure. About acceptance, I also struggle with that one, I know what I need to do, but at times when I have a rough time, I usually resist it and become critical of my own feelings which is the opposite of what to do. 
I think many people are having a hard time because of the pandemic and how long it’s been going on, restrictions, and isolation, at least that’s what I experience with the people in my circle and I am one too.

 

@Longroadhome

Thank you my friend for dropping by, and yes I know you are absolutely right, I need to surrender. But it’s so hard when I don’t accept this condition at all. I want so much more for myself in life then this.

Its just so unfair, nobody should have to go through this, just to get rid of a drug. 
 

I will hang on, and work harder on acceptance, I will never quit.

 

I need to take a break from SA my friends for the time being just need to focus on anything else than this for now.

 

Hugs to all💕

 

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Mentor

Hi everyone 

Just wanted to drop in here and give an update. 
First I am sorry that I can’t support people here now since it’s to overwhelming for me and I am trying to not over think this journey, shifting my mindset to other things.

 

I am still in a wave of depression now. But the funny thing is that my anxiety is at the very minimum which I am grateful for. Can’t have it all I suppose.

I have dropped to 5.8 mg and haven’t felt any significant change. 
I would like to add though some good news. 
My family is all in supporting me, as they asked the other day if I am still taking the meds. I told them that yes but I have been tapering. And I said that if they were to criticise me for it I would not share my experience with them, so either support me or let it be. 
They said we do support you, we know and have seen first hand how awful it’s coming off these drugs for me. I just started sobbing and told them thank you for believing me. 
Feels good to have that support and understanding.

 

For me this journey is the hardest thing I have ever done. 
I feel like I have to reprogram my thoughts and learn how to control my feelings since the drug has masked it for years.

It is like my nervous system is “raw” if that makes any sense and I have to strengthen it and nurture it, in every way possible. Building foundation and layer it step by step.

 

What I have also discovered is that I really can’t know the difference in being exited and anxiety. I link automatically everything that I feel to anxiety. So I am learning all over again that my physical sensation aren’t all anxiety.

I also realise that everything that I can’t do or have during this process is actually replaced with some good habits and a healthier way of living. So even though I feel deprived I will look at it as a blessing in disguise and beneficial in the long run☺️
 

Would not be able to do this without you all amazing people in here. Thank you all.🙏

 

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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  • Moderator

Oh @Hanna72,

 

I am so so happy to read what your family said ! You deserve this support, and I'm so glad to know you are surrounded by people who are willing to support you ❤

 

1 hour ago, Hanna72 said:

I also realise that everything that I can’t do or have during this process is actually replaced with some good habits and a healthier way of living. So even though I feel deprived I will look at it as a blessing in disguise and beneficial in the long run☺️

And THIS is exactly what I needed to read today, Thank you !!!

2006 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, taper to 0.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22 Aug 2019 updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

* 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* Prozac : 6.8 mg (15 Sept 2021)/ 6.88mg (14 Aug 2021)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 2021)

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Longroadhome

@Hanna72

i know exactly how you feel. Everything from the tapering, the holding to the recovery is a snails pace and we just want it GONE. 

 

As you say there are some positives and for me I have learnt to be patient which I have carried over to other areas of my life. 
 

it is exasperating Hanna and you need the support of family. Someone to off load to. Someone that believes you are going through a hideous WD process that takes an inordinate amount of time to get through. Someone to give a hug just when it’s needed and someone to express our upset to face to face when it gets too much. I know. We all know. X
 

But all of us going through this have a strong belief we will recover else we wouldn’t keep, keeping on. 
And that’s what you have to keep doing Hanna. Keep going. 
 

you will make it to recovery along with all of us on here. Everybody makes it to the other side eventually. x
 




 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Moderator

Hi @Hanna72--I send you warm wishes as we all find our way.

9 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

For me this journey is the hardest thing I have ever done. 

Sooo true!!!

 

Thinking of you💗

Arbor

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Hanna72

9 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

They said we do support you, we know and have seen first hand how awful it’s coming off these drugs for me.

Oh what a relief you will get some support at home.  This will make the tough times a little easier

when you have someone to lean on.  Of course you know you have all of us here on SA too.❤️

 

I still want to build a big compound☺️

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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  • Mentor

Thank you all for your supporting words sent my way @Erell @Longroadhome @arbor @Greatful 

I see and and hear your support and kindness, thank you, means so much to me💕


Yes it’s so important to have that support, I couldn’t agree more. I am a very independent person and asking for help is very difficult for me. But now I have the support and know I can ask for help if I choose too.


My sister just said to me today.. I really like the new you….so sensitive and real, well I did disagree, I felt vulnerable and a mess, but maybe I just  don’t know the real me.😏


Stay strong my friends 🙏

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Mentor

Hi everyone.

Wanted to give a little positive update😃

My tapering is going good, I am getting used to and accepting finally that I need to go slowly.

Took a while 😅

Here is a list of my improvements, yep it’s a list!

 

I have not had ANY panic attack for months now. ( had more on Paxil…weird right! )

 

I have days were I am so calm I even think about if I should have some coffee 😁 And I realise now that, that state is very unfamiliar to me and I get an empty feeling like something is missing and I need to fill it up somehow. Like I am addicted to the feeling of anxiety, if that makes any sense.

 

 

I can drive outside of the capital, ( not too far through…let’s not get ahead of ourselves ☺️) I could not do that even on 20 mg Paxil for the last few years 

 

I have days were nothing literally shakes me, even though some argument is happening right  in front of me.

 

Some days  I feel sad and lonely, so I let myself cry without judging and criticising myself for it. And always feel better afterwards. Learning!


I have not taken ANY other drugs ( oxazepam - for anxiety or quitepine - for insomnia) for 7 months now. Took it occasionally when on 20 mg Paxil.

 

Getting my faith back that I can do this. It crumbled when I crashed. 
I have a long way ahead of me I do understand and finally accept it. As to my goal is now safety and stability and everything else will follow, along with it my tapering.

 

As for my symptoms, I do have them still:

Extreme headaches 

vision problems 

nausea

dizziness

hard time swallowing sometimes 

stomach cramps 

memory problems 

crying spells

not being able to concentrate 

Tingling sensation 

Those I remember for now.

 

I have been tapering by 10% monthly and the lower I go I might switch to the 2.5% weekly if I feel it will be necessary. 


Much love to you all, you are all my heroes. 💕
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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  • Mentor

That’s a wonderful update! So glad to hear of your improvements 😊

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, 

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Hi Hanna. This is very good news that you are having improvements. Hang in there. You have family support which helps so much. I have decent support but it could be better. You know you could go a bit slower to lessen the feeling of w/d. I cut about 2.5% every two weeks but hold if symptoms don't lessen enough.

 

How's beautiful Iceland? I wonder how are the winters there. Marie.

10/13--10/14 Ambien. Started tapering 1/14  Jumped 10/14.  Done.                                                                              

3/14        7.5 Remeron  still taking this.                              

2/14         75 Trazodone   -    Tapered by dry cutting all the way down.

1/16        4 mg Trazodone  -  Jumped. Bad mistake. Got hit with late withdrawal 6 weeks later. Had to reinstate.

4/16        Reinstated 1 mg, updose to 2 mg Trazodone

2/19        .04 Trazodone. Walked off.  Done.

10/3/19  Started 7.5 Mirtazapine taper cut to .073 gram weight, pill weighs .076

4/5/20    New Mirtazapine Taper - Compound Liquid 7.35 mg April '20, 7.25 mg May, 7.05 mg June, 6.99 mg June, 6.78 mg July, 6.57 mg Aug, Sept 6.35 mg, Sept 6.24 mg, Sept 6.21 mg, Oct 5.99 mg, Oct 5.90 mg, Oct 5.70 mg.

1/11/21 6.05 mg Messed up taper due to syringe change. Must remember the 1 ml syringe contains 1.5mg! 1/16/21 5.99 mg

2/21 5.75 mg, 3/21 5.6 mg, 4/7 5.45, 4/14 5.30, 5/12 5.15, 5/25/21 4.99 mg, 6/29 4.87 mg, 7/14/21 4.74 mg, 8/5 4.62 mg 8/17 4.5 mg, 8/30 4.38 mg,9/16 4.26 mg,10/9 4.14 mg.

 

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Phoenixmama

🌞❤️🌞❤️🌞

 

 

started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g

feb 26th took 5mg

feb 27th took 5mg 

feb 28th cold turkey 

currently taking mag

 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

Thank you so much dear friends @Frogieand @marie123for dropping by.

Yes it is a really good day indeed 😊

Iceland/Reykjavik is rainy and windy today marie123. The winters here are cold, but not as much as people would think.

Autumn and winters are my favourite time, so I am in for a treat for the upcoming months.

21 minutes ago, marie123 said:

I cut about 2.5% every two weeks but hold if symptoms don't lessen enough.

That’s a good strategy, thank you for sharing. 
You are doing such a good job on your steady tapering, you should be so proud of yourself 🥰

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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  • Moderator

What a wonderful update dear @Hanna72 !
You're doing such a great job navigating through this journey !
Keep it slow, and I'm sure you'll be just fine.
I'm with you with autumn being the best time of the year, let's enjoy those amazing colours 🧡

2006 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, taper to 0.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22 Aug 2019 updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

* 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* Prozac : 6.8 mg (15 Sept 2021)/ 6.88mg (14 Aug 2021)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 2021)

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Mentor

Hi everyone.

 

Today I am having cognitive problems, and it looks like my brain is not functioning. 
My friend asked me if I could accompany her to the bank for support. She was very nervous and I had to calm her down while feeling not at my best myself. So we get in there to talk to a staff member. I could feel my brain going blank. I could not hear or process what was said, and my friend really relied on me. I was  so disappointed in myself. 

 

Another thing I witnessed during the weekend at my work. I work in health care and I witness a lot of disturbing events,  I encounter with many mentally unwell people. I can see what “mentally ill” truly means. It’s nothing like we are told, if it were the whole world would be “mentally ill”. This event really triggered me, and made me think of all the horrible things I have dealt with in the past and the physiatrists who are clueless and ignorant. And how so many people would be better off with talk therapy instead of having them on hefty doses of drugs.

  I bet we could all write a book on how unfair we have been treated. This just makes me so angry and sad.

 

I just really wished that I was already free, I have to admit I want to get rid of this poison faster, but I know it’s not in my best interest. 
 

Sorry for that, I had to get this off my chest and I know you all understand.

 

Be well all, and never quit fighting we deserve our health and happiness drug free.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Hanna72

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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  • Mentor

@Hanna72

On 10/11/2021 at 2:29 PM, Hanna72 said:

Today I am having cognitive problems, and it looks like my brain is not functioning.

Boy can I relate.  Thank you for sharing this,  sometimes you wonder if you are the only one who has trouble with the mind and brain.  UGH

 

On 10/11/2021 at 2:29 PM, Hanna72 said:

I could not hear or process what was said, and my friend really relied on me. I was  so disappointed in myself. 

I think your friend was just happy that you were there with her.  Your brain may not have been functioning, but you were there in body, which I am sure helped her feel not alone.  Don't be so hard on yourself, you were there and did the best that you can.

 

On 10/11/2021 at 2:29 PM, Hanna72 said:

I bet we could all write a book on how unfair we have been treated. This just makes me so angry and sad.

I get the frustration, anger and even the sadness when it comes to the ignorance the medical field shows when it comes to these drugs.  How can they put their heads in the sand when there is so much information out there, on the web, books written by their peers, the pain that is filling the internet sites, Face Book, SA, other support groups.  How many of us would be in this mess if things were looked at differently in the medical world.  Oh yeah, then big Pharma would not make so much money.........

It is sad to say it is not just the physic drugs that are handed out like candy.  I am wondering if the doctors know of any other treatment besides handing out drugs for the quick fix.

 

Hang in there Hanna one day at time❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Hannah, 

 

Thanks for popping around to my thread. I’m so sorry you got triggered at work, we’ve gone through so much and continue to do so. When we see the misguided treatment a lot of patients get it can be really upsetting because we know how horrific it can be. 
 

I remember pacing back and forwards in the hospital because of severe Akathisia caused by being withdrawn off medications they had given me for chronic pain that I was taking for ages. The meds at the time were Valium and opiates and something else I think, I can’t remember.

 

I must have looked like a “mentally ill” patient with the way I was acting. At the time I didn’t know what was wrong with me, I really thought there was something terribly mentally wrong with me. It was only later on that I figured out it was the medication. I remember no one being able to help me, it was so bad, but the doctors just looked at me like I was mentally unstable. It’s just awful what the system has put us through. 
 

I hope you’re coping okay🧡
 

 

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, ADs and opiates for chronic pain. 

Was cold turkeyed and put on and off lots of things.Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because of akathisia from WDs. Can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released still had severe akathisia n was suicidal again. Back to the ward and more meds. Tapered off one and have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been many years of tapering. .

Tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./2019:➡️ March 10=7.25mg ✔️  
April 17=7.0✔️ June 5th=6.75✔️ July 14th=6.50✔️Aug 28=6.25✔️

Oct 10=6.20 ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️Dec16=5.80 ✔️                                
 2020➡️Jan 21=5.60✔️April 2=5.40✔️May 29=5.20✔️Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep 29=4.80✔️
 2021➡️ Jan 31=4.60 mg✔️April 24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️Sep 8=4.20✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

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  • Mentor

Thank you both @Gratefuland @Carmiefor dropping by with your kind words💕

 

I am sorry Carmie you had to experience this treatment, no one should go through this.

At least now we are very informed and we can take the power back.

 

Hugs sent to you guys 🥰
 

 

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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  • Moderator Emeritus
12 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Thank you both @Gratefuland @Carmiefor dropping by with your kind words💕

 

I am sorry Carmie you had to experience this treatment, no one should go through this.

At least now we are very informed and we can take the power back.

 

Hugs sent to you guys 🥰
 

 

Yes, it’s certainly great that we know what’s wrong with us and why we are getting symptoms Hannah. At least we’ve learnt how to taper. 
 

I hope you’re coping okay today🧡
 

 

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, ADs and opiates for chronic pain. 

Was cold turkeyed and put on and off lots of things.Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because of akathisia from WDs. Can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released still had severe akathisia n was suicidal again. Back to the ward and more meds. Tapered off one and have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been many years of tapering. .

Tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./2019:➡️ March 10=7.25mg ✔️  
April 17=7.0✔️ June 5th=6.75✔️ July 14th=6.50✔️Aug 28=6.25✔️

Oct 10=6.20 ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️Dec16=5.80 ✔️                                
 2020➡️Jan 21=5.60✔️April 2=5.40✔️May 29=5.20✔️Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep 29=4.80✔️
 2021➡️ Jan 31=4.60 mg✔️April 24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️Sep 8=4.20✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

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HI @Hanna72!

I hope you are doing a bit better now with your cognitive issue. 
I am just dropping by to say hello and to take some news from you. I hope your taper is going well, you are an incredible resilient person and I wish you the best in your recovery.

Have a nice day!

Anne-Marie 

2008-2019: various ADs at various doses, initially for anxiety related insomnia.

2015: C/T Paxil - GP switch me to Mirtazapine and Pristiq. 2018: Switched Pristiq to Venlafaxine (For tapering)

2019-01: Stopped Venlafaxine after a 10 months taper. Updosed Mirtazapine to 45mg.

Summer 2019: Fast taper of Mirtazapine. Sept 2019, down to 30mg, hit bad W/D symptoms, so updosed to 45mg.

Tried escitalopram 10mg, C/T after 4 weeks. Tried Buspar, C/T after 5 days.

Jan 2020: Second mirtazapine weaning attempt, but end of january, big wave of symptoms, back to 45mg Mirtazapine.

Feb 2020: 50mg quetiapineXR, CT after 1 week. 21 Feb 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization.

Quetiapine 25mg  PRN since may 2019, March 2020 stopped.

Mirtazapine taper, from 45mg:  2020-10-21 43.88mg, 10-28 42.75mg, 11-04 41.63mg, 11-11 40.5mg, 11-24 41.6mg, 12-03 42.20mg, updose 2021–01-15 to 42,7 and holding.

Ativan prn since jan 2021. Became accidentally dep. March 2021.
2021-03-21 Ativan 0,29mg / 03-28 0.28mg/ 04-08 0.27mg/ 04-26 0.25mg/(...)07-08 0.21mg

Supplements: Magnesium Glycinate, Omega-3, D vit, Probiotic.

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  • Mentor

You are so sweet @Mimi79 thank you and the  same goes to you 💕

 

Happy to say I am nicotine free 🤩 Always told myself that I would have to stop if I was getting off the meds. I want to be healthy all the way around. Now I  am below 5 mg and still having the waves and windows like a roller coaster ride, nothing new in that department, but I am stable and functioning 🙏
Today is a good day and I finally feel I am achieving something and that makes me feel good. 

 

Take care everyone !
 


 

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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