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Hanna72

☼ Hanna72: I will be free

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Victor3

Hanna. Are you taking any multivitamins or supplements? Any change in diet? Exercise or meditation?

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Hanna72

@Victor3 yes I take vitamins, I meditate and walk few times of week. Trying to get my sugar intake in control, not doing very good there at the moment. Just don’t have a lot of appétit these days. I am just always waiting for a window. I just want one glimpse of calm and piece 😔

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Gridley
9 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

I just want one glimpse of calm and piece 😔

It will come, Hanna.

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Victor3

Thank you Hanna for the info. 

You will feel sense of peace pretty soon. Keep believing in yourself.

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Hanna72

Hi. Can someone tell me what’s going on in my brain when brain zaps are occurring?

Been trying to find out but with no success. 

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Hanna72
On 3/29/2020 at 6:02 PM, Victor3 said:

Thank you Hanna for the info. 

You will feel sense of peace pretty soon. Keep believing in yourself.

Thank you @Victor3for your kind words🙏

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Hanna72

Been having horrible withdrawals. 
I feel like a drug addict in recovery. So angry that I was subscribed this hell of a poison. Can’t do anything but lay in bed. Sensitive to light( wearing sunglasses indoors) sensitive to noise, nausea, brain zaps, can’t focus on anything. No joy in my life. Just crying all the time. So angry, and I am not an angry person😢 
I know it will pass, but I hate feeling like this. Feels like never ending story😔

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Cocopuffz17
1 hour ago, Hanna72 said:

Been having horrible withdrawals. 
I feel like a drug addict in recovery. So angry that I was subscribed this hell of a poison. Can’t do anything but lay in bed. Sensitive to light( wearing sunglasses indoors) sensitive to noise, nausea, brain zaps, can’t focus on anything. No joy in my life. Just crying all the time. So angry, and I am not an angry person😢 
I know it will pass, but I hate feeling like this. Feels like never ending story😔

Yes, this is exactly how I felt. It is extremely tough. You will get through it and will feel way better! 
 

Remember everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed! 

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Hanna72

@Cocopuffz17 Thank you, I know, just so frustrating😔 These pill makers should all go on these meds themselves, and then quit, see how they will handle these “none addicted “ drugs they make for people 😖 

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Cocopuffz17
7 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

@Cocopuffz17 Thank you, I know, just so frustrating😔 These pill makers should all go on these meds themselves, and then quit, see how they will handle these “none addicted “ drugs they make for people 😖 

Yes, they should. Thankfully that is how this has gained steam with psychiatrists in the UK being on and going through withdrawals. It is the first country in the world to actually admit long term withdrawals. The drug companies need to be held accountable. 

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Hanna72

Seriously😡😡 Can’t drive, extreme panic, my head can’t function, I feel like I am loosing my mind🤬 Want to scream out loud. So angry, my emotions have no filter. 
This poison WILL NOT take me down. I will fight until I reach my goal. 
Bring it on 💪💪💪

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Happy2Heal

hi Hanna

just popping in to see how you are doing.

sorry you're dealing with all those feelings but wow, Look at you!

nope, these poisons are no match for you!! 

you go, girl!!

 

I hope every day the fight gets easier

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Hanna72

@Happy2Heal Thank you so much 🙏for your kind words.

I am just really struggling right now. Can’t eat, feel nauseous of all food, can’t sit still, been pacing in my appartement, shivering inside, constantly cold. My brain can’t focus, I am having panic attacks for no reason. 😞

I know I have to go through all this to heal, but after 16 months of tapering and all kinds of symptoms, I do get so frustrated. 
I know I will be fine, there is no other option for me. This just makes me want to fight harder💪
I will be free🙏 
By the way, I am so happy for you that you are healed. People like you, just give me so much hope, thank you🙏

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Victor3

Hi Hanna. Did your withdrawal symptoms appear right after you lowered your dose ? Or did they appear after couple of weeks?

I lowered my dose 50% 3 weeks back and have not felt any symptoms. I am feeling even better.

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Hanna72

Hi @Victor3

Wow that’s amazing 💪 So glad for you. You will make it
I started having withdrawal symptoms when I lowered my meds under I would say about 5 mg. Not unmanageable though, but I always felt some kind of symptoms. That’s why I had to stabilise each time after each drop. 
Now almost 4 weeks off I am having all kinds of symptoms, brain fog, brain zaps, extreme fatigue and déréalisation. Had insomnia but, have been sleeping like a rock for the past few days. With those symptoms I can work and function, so that’s a good thing👍
So it seems it all takes time and we will make it for sure to the end of the line🙏
I would say to you, please go slow for the rest of your taper. It’s said that 80% of the drug potency is under 10 mg, so bare that in mind.


We will be free victor 🙏

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Victor3

Thank you Hanna for the info. This will be very helpful. I believe one thing that really helped me is that I became vegan and avoiding all processed food. Mainly eating raw veggies and fruits. You can try for couple of days if you can.

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Hanna72

So impressed by those like you that can change their diet like that. Have to say I have been struggling with my diet, but food is I believe a huge factor in recovery. I would say I have done a 70% of diet changes, but I can do better that’s for sure

 

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Hanna72

Soooo, best day yet. 😀No withdrawal symptoms..yay🤩

So much energy, been dancing and smiling all day( looking all “crazy “)

YES... thank you for this day👍🙏

And I will having them coming some more 😃

 

 

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Cocopuffz17
2 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Soooo, best day yet. 😀No withdrawal symptoms..yay🤩

So much energy, been dancing and smiling all day( looking all “crazy “)

YES... thank you for this day👍🙏

And I will having them coming some more 😃

 

 

Yay! That is great to hear! Here is to many more! 

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Hanna72

I am at work right now, and I just want to hide. 
Having so many emotions just feel like crying. I feel like I need my filter for protection. Can’t sit close to my coworkers, get really bad social anxiety, and I don’t want anyone to see how weak I am today. 
I need to pull myself together, just breathe and tell myself I am safe

The anxiety and emotions are my biggest challenge in this recovery 

 

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Cocopuffz17
47 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

I am at work right now, and I just want to hide. 
Having so many emotions just feel like crying. I feel like I need my filter for protection. Can’t sit close to my coworkers, get really bad social anxiety, and I don’t want anyone to see how weak I am today. 
I need to pull myself together, just breathe and tell myself I am safe

The anxiety and emotions are my biggest challenge in this recovery 

 


You got this! Power through, this is chemical from the withdrawals. You are strong! 
 

 

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Hanna72

@Cocopuffz17

yes, thank you for your kind words 🙏

I have also been eating trash and I believe it makes everything thing worse

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Cocopuffz17
2 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

@Cocopuffz17

yes, thank you for your kind words 🙏

I have also been eating trash and I believe it makes everything thing worse

You are welcome!

Yes, it does not help. The food we put in our body directly impacts how we feel.... especially when we are sensitive during wds. 

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Erell
Posted (edited)

Hello Hanna, 

 

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate the positivity you spread on SA, and thank you for this :)

 

Take care ❤️

Edited by Erell

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Hanna72
2 hours ago, Erell said:

Hello Hanna, 

 

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate the positivity you spread on SA, and thank you for this :)

 

Take care ❤️

Thank you so much for your kind words 🥰 Just warmed my heart 💓 

I see you have reduced your Paxil💪 I will be here on SA cheering for you, well done @Erell 🙏

One day at a time, patience and time, and it will be done.

Have a wonderful day🙏

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Hanna72

So it’s been 39 days off Prozac and over three months off Paxil. 
Last few days have been extremely bad. I am trying to stay positive, and focusing on that I am med free, but hard to do at this point.
I have had constant symptoms, blurred vision, can’t focus on anything, extremely sensitive to everything, consistent anxiety, nausea, aches all over my body, feels like a stone in my head all the time, so much headache, crying all the time, no motivation, no joy in life. 
I am just so negative today, sorry 😒

 

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Erell

Hello Hanna, 

 

I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

 

It sounds like you went too quickly with your tapers. : have you considered reinstatement?

 

Anyway, I know exactly how you feel right now : good news is it will pass. Very slowly, very gradually, but it will.

 

Give you my hand from France ❤️

 

 

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Hanna72

Thank you @Erell Really do appreciate it 🙏

47 minutes ago, Erell said:

 

It sounds like you went too quickly with your tapers. : have you considered reinstatement?


Yes it probably is true I did it to quickly. The way I feel now is just so much anger, sadness and it’s like I will never go back on this poison, not even 0.001 mg. I have wasted to much time already, and had to have my life revolve around this taper, and withdrawal symptoms for so many months already. 
I keep telling myself this:

 

I don’t know how I am going to win... but I know I am NOT going to lose 💪

 

Thats my mantra today🙏

How are you doing? 
My best wishes to you🥰

 

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Melissa03

@Hanna72 i am cheering so much for you and hoping it ll pass  soon. Yesterday I was also so bad,today I am ok,like never knowing what is going to hit me when I wake up. Scary to live like this but we ll go through this 💪 I also can't wait to get rid of this poison I feel rage every time I take it. Can't wait to begin taper.

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Hanna72

I just don’t know where I would be with out this forum. Hard to explain this to my loved ones here, they just don’t understand. And since I live alone, it gets hard sometimes. 
I totally agree with you @Melissa03  about the anger I feel towards this poison. And I feel so much anger to the doctor that prescribed this to me 20 years ago. He told me that I needed this pill cause of my imbalance in my brain, and I would have to be on it for life. I will never forget that moment, I was 27 years old, and to think I needed antidepressants, just baffled me. Never had I ever been depressed. I had suffered anxiety attacks, due to abuse in a marriage and had social phobia from childhood caused by extreme bullying. I was never taught  any coping skills, just told to take Paxil like any other patient with diabetes 🤨

Now at 47 I have to learn new coping skills, plus deal with these horrible withdrawals symptoms, and it’s extremely hard.

The only thing Paxil did for me was to numb me through life, didn’t help with anything, still had anxiety and panic attacks on them. Oh then my doctor answer to that was benzodiazepines, which I have only used in crippling situations.
So yes I am furious. 
Sorry about the rambling, feel so frustrated 😒

Thank you for your kind words

@Melissa03Yes this will not take us down, it will in the end make us stronger 💪

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Melissa03

Yes I understand,I feel rage towards my doctor too,I came to her for talk and she gave me seroxat instantly ,without warning me about any side effects like they don't exist. I was 22 and trusted the Dr. I also didn't need them at first place at all it was manageable social phobia. And guess what ,three months after my fast taper I went to her totally miserable ,she told me wd after 3 months doesn't exist,that there are bunch of other drugs that can help me mentioning Zoloft ,Prozac ( like you can try this try that) and when I said this is wd she basically kicked me out of the office. I can't imagine being  almost suicidal at that point and being kicked out of the office by physiatrist who gave me the poison in the first place. I feel rage now just by remembering and writing this. I am imagining after I heal some day ,going to her and giving her bunch of articles about wd and explaining how her profession is one big joke, and that meds should be given only to serious cases when there is no other way. How this drugs do more harm then benefit.

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Hanna72

So the last few days have been hard. Constant headache, ringing in my ears, dizziness, feelings all over the place, brain fog, seems sometimes it just doesn’t work, extreme fatigue and little joy overall, irritation, blurred vision and anxiety.

Need to up my game in regards to nutrition. Can definitely tell that sugar intake triggers me. Been without it now for two days, and I feel less anxious, so that’s a relief.

The good news is I am sleeping like a rock, thankful for that🙏
Also have been practicing mindfulness. 
Best wishes to you all, and have a great weekend 

 

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Hanna72

Just wanted to say that today has been the best day yet for me.😃 I need to put those good days in too

And I know they will keep coming, how ever few they are, just having one today will remind me that this suffering of withdrawals is so worth it🙏
I am so thankful 

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Hanna72

Hi @Longroadhome

Yes I was on it for 20 years. 
Actually, I did not find the pill ever helping me at all, they were just numbing me, and I still had anxiety and panic attacks  when  I was on them, quite frankly I was worse on them then before I took them. That’s why I tried so many times to get off
For me personally I feel like yes my  bridge with Prozac has been truly beneficial, even though I didn’t do the bridge  right, had my doctor guide me. And yes I had withdrawal symptoms, during the bridge and after also, still do,  but I can truly say that this time its different. I can cope, work and function. Which is huge for me.

You can do it too 💪 
By the way good job on your journey, 6,3 mg is a great accomplishment 😃 

 

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mustafa
7 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Just wanted to say that today has been the best day yet for me.😃 I need to put those good days in too

And I know they will keep coming, how ever few they are, just having one today will remind me that this suffering of withdrawals is so worth it🙏
I am so thankful 

Yes Hanna,

We should talk about good days alot and alot, 

It isn't all hell, good days and wonderful days exist as well.

Keep healing, you are strong enough to do ❤️.

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Cocopuffz17
7 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Just wanted to say that today has been the best day yet for me.😃 I need to put those good days in too

And I know they will keep coming, how ever few they are, just having one today will remind me that this suffering of withdrawals is so worth it🙏
I am so thankful 

Yes, it is very easy to forget the positive when you are dominated by the bad. Glad you are having some good days :

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