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Hanna72

☼ Hanna72: I will be free

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Erell
Posted (edited)

So happy to read about your good day ! feels so good, right ? :)

 

Take care dear, you sound like an amazing woman ! ❤️

Edited by Erell

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Longroadhome
14 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Hi @Longroadhome

Yes I was on it for 20 years. 
Actually, I did not find the pill ever helping me at all, they were just numbing me, and I still had anxiety and panic attacks  when  I was on them, quite frankly I was worse on them then before I took them. That’s why I tried so many times to get off
For me personally I feel like yes my  bridge with Prozac has been truly beneficial, even though I didn’t do the bridge  right, had my doctor guide me. And yes I had withdrawal symptoms, during the bridge and after also, still do,  but I can truly say that this time its different. I can cope, work and function. Which is huge for me.

You can do it too 💪 
By the way good job on your journey, 6,3 mg is a great accomplishment 😃 

 

Thank you for reply Hanna 

Im so glad I found more people on here that have been on Paxil and managing to come off it gives me great hope.

if you don’t mind me asking how old are you ? 

the reason I ask is that it can make a difference to how long WD lasts I think 

 

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Hanna72
5 hours ago, Erell said:

! feels so good, right ? :)

YES YES YES it feels soooo good😃 I have been upping my nutrition a lot too, and I truly believe it’s helping me👍
Thank you for your kind words as always 🥰

@Longestroadhome

No problem. I am 47😅

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Hanna72

Update:

I have been doing really good for the past few days. My only WD symptoms have been, few brain zaps here and there, brain fog, not very good memory, fatigue, low energy. 
But the good news is that I have been feeling so calm, which is the best reward and just feels so good I can’t even describe. In 17 months now on this journey I finally can feel a tiny bit of myself coming through and just writing this makes me cry, so obviously sensitive still😅

I know I have a lot of work ahead of me, but like I have always said, it will be a success, there is just not another option for me in my mind. I will do what ever it takes to make it over the finish line💪
Unfortunately my nutrition has been a big challenge, sugar for sure, so I have just signed up for a program that helps me with that, cause I need guidance there. 
Been reading a lot on coping skills for my anxiety, it’s something that I need to feed my brain on. 
I also need to get some exercise in my daily routine. So a lot of work ahead. 
Just so  thankful for this forum and proud to be among all of you in here. Would not be here if it wasn’t for you all🙏



 

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sunnysideup69

Wonderful news @Hanna72, this is very inspiring. And I love your quote, the Leo Tolstoy one..... ❤️

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Erell
1 hour ago, Hanna72 said:

 I finally can feel a tiny bit of myself coming through and just writing this makes me cry, so obviously sensitive still

 

Get you on this one : when I have very low chemical anxiety and feel almost myself, I have some tears...happiness tears ❤ It feels so good !

 

You're such an inspiration : I LOVE reading your updates ! I can see the amazingly strong and determined woman ! 

When doubts get in my mind, I like to read your posts,  and get back my strenght !

 

Take care ❤

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LostRunner

This is great to read @Hanna72 - gives me hope! Thank you for posting 

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Longroadhome
1 hour ago, Hanna72 said:

Update:

I have been doing really good for the past few days. My only WD symptoms have been, few brain zaps here and there, brain fog, not very good memory, fatigue, low energy. 
But the good news is that I have been feeling so calm, which is the best reward and just feels so good I can’t even describe. In 17 months now on this journey I finally can feel a tiny bit of myself coming through and just writing this makes me cry, so obviously sensitive still😅

I know I have a lot of work ahead of me, but like I have always said, it will be a success, there is just not another option for me in my mind. I will do what ever it takes to make it over the finish line💪
Unfortunately my nutrition has been a big challenge, sugar for sure, so I have just signed up for a program that helps me with that, cause I need guidance there. 
Been reading a lot on coping skills for my anxiety, it’s something that I need to feed my brain on. 
I also need to get some exercise in my daily routine. So a lot of work ahead. 
Just so  thankful for this forum and proud to be among all of you in here. Would not be here if it wasn’t for you all🙏



 

Love reading this Hannah 

as another Paxil long term user it’s great to hear the bridge has been a success for you 

well done 👍 

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Hanna72

Thank you all for your kind words, I really appreciate it, makes me  cry ( happy tears) need to pull it together since I am at work 😅

Just want to tell you all that I have so much faith in everyone in here, for us all just being in here, wanting off those drugs, says a lot about us all. That in itself is major strength💪
Even the tiny bit of reduction of the drug, was always huge in my mind. 
 We  are all warriors, finding tools to win the fight. 
Thank you🙏

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Artistic1

Hi, Hanna72. I'm fairly new here, but I read all the posts in your thread, and you've had an amazing journey. It sounds like you may have turned a corner, so stay with it! I admire you for hanging in there when you had terrible symptoms. I totally know what that feels like - like it will never end. But that's not true. The windows keep reappearing after the waves. I was wondering if you have ever found a good therapist for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? That is the one thing that keeps me going though everything. I eat well, I exercise, meditate, take just a few good supplements, but even with that, I can have bad symptoms sometimes. The one thing that pulls everything together is my CBT.

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Hanna72

Hi @Artistic1

Thank you, yes I believe I have turned a corner, at least a little bit. Holding on to that one tightly 😃

Still have a long road ahead, but I will embrace every tiny positive feeling that I have.

44 minutes ago, Artistic1 said:

. I totally know what that feels like - like it will never end. But that's not true.

So true, it feels like never ending when your in the midst of it

46 minutes ago, Artistic1 said:

. I was wondering if you have ever found a good therapist for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? That is the one thing that keeps me going though

No I haven’t. But thanks for that, I will read up on that one🙏
I can see in your signature you are in tapering, have to say great job to you, and all the work you are doing to keep those WD symptoms at minimum💪 
Thank you for your kind words🥰

All the best to you

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Artistic1

If a therapist isn't workable, there's a good book you can get from Amazon called "Mind over Mood," by Greenberger and Pedesky. Lots of good explanations about emotions, feelings and thoughts, and practical exercises to deal with them. Good luck!

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Hanna72

So back into a wave.
Feeling extreme sadness and anxiety. The tears just keep on poring. So weird how much I have cried since coming off those meds, Hardly ever  cried on them. Now everything gets me so emotional, I can’t listen to anything bad or hear about anyone having a hard time without starting to cry. 
I need to accept what is.  I knew starting this journey it  would be really hard and challenging. 
So with that said, I know I need to be here, feeling like this to get to where I want to be. 
One day at a time, will be singing in my head today 😏

 

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sunnysideup69

Hang in there @Hanna72, you're doing great. I remember from previous times tapering down on Citalopram how the tears would come back after ages of not being able to cry. I'm struggling with being able to cry on the Venlafaxine, even though I've been through bereavement.

Out of interest- are you getting windows of feeling much better, too?

Sending hugs xx

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Longroadhome
53 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

So back into a wave.
Feeling extreme sadness and anxiety. The tears just keep on poring. So weird how much I have cried since coming off those meds, Hardly ever  cried on them. Now everything gets me so emotional, I can’t listen to anything bad or hear about anyone having a hard time without starting to cry. 
I need to accept what is.  I knew starting this journey it  would be really hard and challenging. 
So with that said, I know I need to be here, feeling like this to get to where I want to be. 
One day at a time, will be singing in my head today 😏

 

Keep going Hanna your doing great! 

I’m  tapering Paxil and have the same emotions as I’m also in a wave at present 

 

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Hanna72
30 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Out of interest- are you getting windows of feeling much better, too?

Yes I just had a window on Saturday and Sunday and it felt so good.

Now I am just pacing in my apartment, can’t sit still, extreme anxiety, frustration overwhelming. 
Just full of emotions and weird thoughts. 
17 months on these waves is exhausting. Had to put my whole life on hold due to this poison and it is getting to me.

Sorry for the vent, and thank you for your encouragement, means a lot. 
Going to put my headphones on and take a walk.

Hugs to you sunny🥰
 

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sunnysideup69

I get it, @Hanna72, I've been pretty unstable with windows/ waves for about 23 months. BUT I'm getting better and so are you. We will be free of this one day. Enjoy that walk :) 

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Artistic1

Just my opinion about crying.....I believe it's one of the best therapies for everything. It releases pent up tension and emotion. And yet, we feel badly about having to cry, as if there's something wrong with crying on top of everything else we may think is wrong with us. We don't want to burden our friends and family with the crying. But our bodies know better than our minds do about what it needs. I shifted my thinking to see it as good therapy. I wish you all the best with the waves, and hope the windows get bigger and brighter!

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Hanna72
1 hour ago, Artistic1 said:

Just my opinion about crying.....I believe it's one of the best therapies for everything. It releases pent up tension and emotion. And yet, we feel badly about having to cry, as if there's something wrong with crying on top of everything else we may think is wrong with us. We don't want to burden our friends and family with the crying. But our bodies know better than our minds do about what it needs. I shifted my thinking to see it as good therapy.

That’s a new perspective for me. Thank you @Artistic1 for this. I will think about crying now in a new way. I appreciate it a lot 🙏

 

5 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I've been pretty unstable with windows/ waves for about 23 months. BUT I'm getting better and so are you. We will be free of this one day. Enjoy that walk :) 

Yes @sunnysideup69 I know we will get better. It’s along journey for us. I admire all of you in here🙏 23 months....good job on staying strong 💪

5 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

Keep going Hanna your doing great! 

I’m  tapering Paxil and have the same emotions as I’m also in a wave at present 

 

Thank you @Longroadhome I really appreciate you encouragement.

We will get there. You are also doing great💪 We will keep on pushing through the storm to get to where we are supposed to be🙏

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Hanna72

It’s a good day today😃. Been working hard on myself. Just finished reading New Earth by Eckhart Tolle twice now😅 Going to keep on reading about how I can change my thinking. My thoughts are challenging. Want to get to a place were I am not controlled by them. 
I am also making effort in opening up to my coworkers, never been able to let my guard down, and always been to numb to care. 
Been sugar free now for 5 days, and I can feel the difference in my anxiety when I stay away from it.

Also got an app on my phone that reminds me every day how long it has been since my last dose of AD was. And those days sure add up, even though it sometimes feels like it is never ending. 
Take care everyone, we will get to the other side💪
 

 

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Cocopuffz17
18 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

It’s a good day today😃. Been working hard on myself. Just finished reading New Earth by Eckhart Tolle twice now😅 Going to keep on reading about how I can change my thinking. My thoughts are challenging. Want to get to a place were I am not controlled by them. 
I am also making effort in opening up to my coworkers, never been able to let my guard down, and always been to numb to care. 
Been sugar free now for 5 days, and I can feel the difference in my anxiety when I stay away from it.

Also got an app on my phone that reminds me every day how long it has been since my last dose of AD was. And those days sure add up, even though it sometimes feels like it is never ending. 
Take care everyone, we will get to the other side💪
 

 

That’s amazing! Yes, sugar is nuts how much it effects us. I to notice a massive difference when I avoid it. Glad you are feeling better

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Mimi79

@Hanna72 Does the Ekhart Toley Books help you a lot? I’ve bought them many years ago and never read it. Maybe I should...

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Hanna72

@Mimi79 Yes, for sure, they help with my thinking. You should definitely give it a try👍

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Artistic1

Agree - -Eckhart Tolle can help immensely. In addition to his books, you can find videos of him on YouTube that are very helpful. He also has a website: www.eckharttolle.com. For a small monthly subscription fee, you get access to all kinds of presentations and talks from him. Really worth it!

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mustafa

Hello hanna,

Wanted to say hello and ask about you!!

hope u are fine.

Thinking of u ❤️.

Please take care 🙏

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Hanna72

Hi @mustafa Thank you for your kind words🥰 I am ok, how are you?

Thank you for thinking of me, really appreciate it 🙏

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Hanna72

So today I decided to go to the mall, do a little shopping. I haven’t been putting myself into that environment since being off the drugs. I have been treating my NS as it was in a cotton.

I have been having a lot of anxiety for the past few days, but I wanted to try to get out of my comfort zone. It was good in the beginning, but then I could feel a panic coming on so I decided to go into the restroom and sit and breathe. I stayed there for a while until I calmed down. I could feel how my thoughts were messing with me. 
It was all in my head. Before I would have run out, but I decided to push through, keeping my mind as calm asI could. And amazingly I made it😅Nothing happened. 
Our thoughts are so powerful, and the way we talk to ourselves in our heads a lot of times is crucial. 
I am learning every day, and Eckhart Tolle describes it so well, he says “ The primary  cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it, be aware of the thoughts you are thinking, separate them from the situation which is always neutral, which always is at it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it”.
Have a good one everyone🙏

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mustafa
41 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

So today I decided to go to the mall, do a little shopping. I haven’t been putting myself into that environment since being off the drugs. I have been treating my NS as it was in a cotton.

I have been having a lot of anxiety for the past few days, but I wanted to try to get out of my comfort zone. It was good in the beginning, but then I could feel a panic coming on so I decided to go into the restroom and sit and breathe. I stayed there for a while until I calmed down. I could feel how my thoughts were messing with me. 
It was all in my head. Before I would have run out, but I decided to push through, keeping my mind as calm asI could. And amazingly I made it😅Nothing happened. 
Our thoughts are so powerful, and the way we talk to ourselves in our heads a lot of times is crucial. 
I am learning every day, and Eckhart Tolle describes it so well, he says “ The primary  cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it, be aware of the thoughts you are thinking, separate them from the situation which is always neutral, which always is at it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it”.
Have a good one everyone🙏

Hi hanna,

What you typed is so true,

When i was forcing myself to live a situation, i never failed to grt through it despite that i was telling myself: it is impossible to do this but i threw myself into the situation and i was surprised that iam obliged to deal, obliged to behave.

Courage can beat everything. If u and all of us are brave enough, we can do everything despite the disable and harm.

Thats a fact.

Happy you went for shopping and could go through and i hope u can do more and more.

Take care of yourself.

Mustafa.

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Hanna72
42 minutes ago, mustafa said:

Courage can beat everything. If u and all of us are brave enough, we can do everything despite the disable and harm.

Thats a fact.

YES so true @mustafa love this🥰

 

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Cocopuffz17

Yes! That is great news. Way to walk yourself through it! 

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Hanna72

I just can’t beat the extreme anxiety that hasn’t left me for days now. I was going to go out, and practice being in a crowded place, but I just can’t leave my apartment 😔 It is my day off and I have wasted hours in trying to calm myself down. I am so frustrated and angry with myself. Why can’t I I get it right😫 I want to feel piece soooo bad. 

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sunnysideup69
1 hour ago, Hanna72 said:

I just can’t beat the extreme anxiety that hasn’t left me for days now. I was going to go out, and practice being in a crowded place, but I just can’t leave my apartment 😔 It is my day off and I have wasted hours in trying to calm myself down. I am so frustrated and angry with myself. Why can’t I I get it right😫 I want to feel piece soooo bad. 

 

Sorry you're feeling rotten, Hanna. Don't pressure yourself, you can do the practice another day. For now, just rest xxx 

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Cocopuffz17
2 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

I just can’t beat the extreme anxiety that hasn’t left me for days now. I was going to go out, and practice being in a crowded place, but I just can’t leave my apartment 😔 It is my day off and I have wasted hours in trying to calm myself down. I am so frustrated and angry with myself. Why can’t I I get it right😫 I want to feel piece soooo bad. 

Don't force it. It will get better with time! Take your time and rest :)

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Hanna72

Thank you @Cocopuffz17 and @sunnysideup69 So it’s better not to force it, ok that is noted 🙏 

Hugs to you🥰

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mustafa
8 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

I just can’t beat the extreme anxiety that hasn’t left me for days now. I was going to go out, and practice being in a crowded place, but I just can’t leave my apartment 😔 It is my day off and I have wasted hours in trying to calm myself down. I am so frustrated and angry with myself. Why can’t I I get it right😫 I want to feel piece soooo bad. 

My dear hanna, 

Other friends are advising u not to force yourself to calm down and of course true.

Being frustrated for not being calm would increase the anxiety and this should make u dont bear. 

You know that it comes and goes and sometimes bad and the others ok.

Try to be quiet whem you are in pain until u cross.

I think the relaxing videos will help u like the videos of forming materials if u know them.

I wish you are ok every time❤️

Take care ❤️.

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