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☼ Hanna72: I will be free


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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Thank you as always sunnyside, for the encouragement and kind words, means a lot 💖

Yes 3 months, I need to remember that, and not forget about the windows I have had. Yes you are right, I will keep on with the cbt therapy, and learn teaching tools, and not let opinions of others tear me down. 
Thank you and enjoy your day💖

I am going on a walk🙂


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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Hi @sunnysideup69 Thank you for dropping by😊  Hope you are well. I have been waiting for some stability in my progress, and I didn’t want to give an update until I could feel a consistent progres

So back into a wave. Feeling extreme sadness and anxiety. The tears just keep on poring. So weird how much I have cried since coming off those meds, Hardly ever  cried on them. Now everything gets m

So today I decided to go to the mall, do a little shopping. I haven’t been putting myself into that environment since being off the drugs. I have been treating my NS as it was in a cotton. I have

Longroadhome
3 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Hi everyone 

Really struggling over here. I am so emotional and angry. I can’t seem to calm myself down. I am exhausted by all these emotions. 
I went to my first CBT  meeting yesterday. I told the physiologist I had stopped taking Paxil, and I would not ever go back on it. She looked at me baffled, and I felt like I would not have her support. Really made me doubt going back, I need to have people around me that support and help me during this process. I felt so alone. No one understands this process, I have stopped communicating about it with my family. It’s such a lonely road that I am on. I only have this community, and I am so grateful for all of you🙏
I will never give up, I cling to all the success stories and they give me hope. 
Take care you all💖

Oh Hanna 

how we all identify with you 

and because we all have these very symptoms on and off it confirms it’s the natural process of WD however unnatural it feels.  
you are right it is a lot to endure and so unbearable at times. 
no one will ever understand unless they have been there. 
I have found it is almost impossible to find a therapist who has any understanding of WD. 
so I  have decided on an appointment with 

Baylissa Frederick. 
our journey will end at some point with complete recovery and that’s a given. 
 until then we must find the strength to accept whatever WD throws at us. If symptoms are bad it’s because repair work is being carried out as our body works towards homeostasis. 
Not all your days will feel like today Hanna. 
one day soon in the future you will be busy once more with everyday life happy and relaxed . Visualise this and know healing from WD is a natural process. 
take care 

LRH 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Thank you @Longroadhome I really appreciate your support and kind words as always💖

9 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

I have found it is almost impossible to find a therapist who has any understanding of WD. 
so I  have decided on an appointment with 

Baylissa Frederick. 

Yes that seems to be the case with the medical field unfortunately. 
That is great news that you are reaching out to her🙂 Nothing will stop us. 
In my country we have the most subscribers for pills, SSRIs, worldwide, so sad. And couple of days ago there was  news on children at the age of 4 being subscribed sleeping pills here. 
Why is this allowed, I don’t understand. 
We can only focus on our healing, and one day at a time. 
How are you doing? Hope you have experienced windows, cause that truly feels amazing 🙏


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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Longroadhome
6 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

Thank you @Longroadhome I really appreciate your support and kind words as always💖

Yes that seems to be the case with the medical field unfortunately. 
That is great news that you are reaching out to her🙂 Nothing will stop us. 
In my country we have the most subscribers for pills, SSRIs, worldwide, so sad. And couple of days ago there was  news on children at the age of 4 being subscribed sleeping pills here. 
Why is this allowed, I don’t understand. 
We can only focus on our healing, and one day at a time. 
How are you doing? Hope you have experienced windows, cause that truly feels amazing 🙏

It’s crazy that children are medicated so young with pills that will affect them for years to come . So little is known about long term problems such as ours. Imagine how frightening for a child to be taken off their medication no one to help them with symptoms of WD. 

sleeping pills for children age 4! They don’t stand a chance do they. Cheap pills cheap diagnosis cheap therapy. It makes me so cross! 

I have a childrens day nursery and over the years I have dealt with children who have various behaviour problems who have been  medicated once they have left my nursery and started school. It’s pitiful. In England children do not get a diagnosis until school age usually. 
 

no I don’t think I have ever experienced windows . Probably because I started this journey in poop out. I’m hoping as I go lower and changes are made that I will see lovely open windows . Having said that my evenings are usually better than  the days and some of my days are better than others . I can watch tv and I’m working and I can read a little so it could be worse! 
 

take care 
 
 

 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

I need to say that I am having more frequent windows😃 An hour there and few hours here. Went to sleep with a smile on my face yesterday and woke up with the same smile.😃Today is a good day. This ride is like a rollercoaster it’s so bizarre. 
I want to say to you @Longestroadhome you WILL get windows, it’s a matter of  time. Stay strong my friend, you will be free🙏
Sending strength, positive thoughts to all of you in here, we are stronger than we think in these waves💪
 


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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Longroadhome
47 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

I need to say that I am having more frequent windows😃 An hour there and few hours here. Went to sleep with a smile on my face yesterday and woke up with the same smile.😃Today is a good day. This ride is like a rollercoaster it’s so bizarre. 
I want to say to you @Longestroadhome you WILL get windows, it’s a matter of  time. Stay strong my friend, you will be free🙏
Sending strength, positive thoughts to all of you in here, we are stronger than we think in these waves💪
 

You have described it perfectly 

it’s a roller coaster 🎢  ride Couldn’t have put it better myself Hanna. 
ive analysed my up and down days and spoke with Altostrata and YES it would appear I am having waves and windows too

i just thought I wasn’t as I put my better days down to me being more accepting of my symptoms . 
I am a pessimist and just thought I would be unlikely to have windows like  others on the site that don’t  so what I was experiencing was more likely to be me coping better on certain days more than others . 
so it’s good to finally accept that I am having windows. 
onwards and upwards !! 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Yes I know how you feel @Longroadhome As I had a lower dose of Paxil in my system the more intense windows I had, so know that you will experience them more clear and you will have no doubt that the feeling of calm, strength and clear thoughts are truly a window 🙏


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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Longroadhome
2 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Yes I know how you feel @Longroadhome As I had a lower dose of Paxil in my system the more intense windows I had, so know that you will experience them more clear and you will have no doubt that the feeling of calm, strength and clear thoughts are truly a window 🙏

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Longroadhome
Just now, Longroadhome said:
2 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Yes I know how you feel @Longroadhome As I had a lower dose of Paxil in my system the more intense windows I had, so know that you will experience them more clear and you will have no doubt that the feeling of calm, strength and clear thoughts are truly a window 🙏

I never thought about the clear thoughts but yes you are right. Yesterday was a good day for me and thinking about it I was focusing on my tasks for the day and got them done . 
I also had a joke with friends and listened and sang along to music on the radio. And yes I was calm . It’s wonderful when we get our old selves back even if just for a day 😊
you’re doing well Hanna keep going 

I am impressed with anyone who takes on the challenge of Paxil WD. It’s a monster. 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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mustafa

Hello hanna,

Iam sorry, I think I miss alot of your updates my friend but Iam.always thinking of u.

Thank you for caring words in my topic, they always make difference for me.

I also wanted to drop here to hold your hand and tell you to hang on, have patience and be optimistic.

All of us is with u in our hearts❤.

Take care please of yourself.

Your friend, mustafa.

i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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  • Moderator

Hello Hannah, 

wanted to thank you deeply for your strong support !

I love your faith in healing, love your attitude !

 

And I love Longroadhome words : so worth it !

 

Thinking of you ❤️

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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sunnysideup69

Hey @Hanna72, just dropping by to say hello and I hope you're in another window. And if not, there's sure to be another one soon xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also currently reducing caffeine, aiming to get off.

 

 

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Since my last post, I have been improving. More frequent windows, YES😃 This has been the longest time they have stayed with me. 
I am on a roll now, using these windows to step out of my comfort zone. Still struggling with anxiety, but it’s not crippling. 
I have a hard time still driving in a lot of traffic, so today I thought, well what options do I have, I will not let my anxiety stop me. Let’s see....oh I will take the bus then😁

I haven’t stepped in to one of those in years. So I took a bus ride😂
I have not had any wd symptoms to report, I feel quite “normal “

Now I need to practice and use all the coping skills that I have, and keep on going and improving 💪

Thank you all for the support you guys and kind words as always. 
We will not be defeated, we will heal🙏


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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mustafa
9 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Since my last post, I have been improving. More frequent windows, YES😃 This has been the longest time they have stayed with me. 
I am on a roll now, using these windows to step out of my comfort zone. Still struggling with anxiety, but it’s not crippling. 
I have a hard time still driving in a lot of traffic, so today I thought, well what options do I have, I will not let my anxiety stop me. Let’s see....oh I will take the bus then😁

I haven’t stepped in to one of those in years. So I took a bus ride😂
I have not had any wd symptoms to report, I feel quite “normal “

Now I need to practice and use all the coping skills that I have, and keep on going and improving 💪

Thank you all for the support you guys and kind words as always. 
We will not be defeated, we will heal🙏

What a wonderful news hanaa,

Thanks for sharing these positive words, they give hope ❤❤.

Continue, never lose it.

i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

Good to hear, Hanna. You haven't had to use quetiapine or oxezapam for a while?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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sunnysideup69

Great stuff @Hanna72 xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also currently reducing caffeine, aiming to get off.

 

 

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

@Altostrata Thank you.🙏No I have not used quetiapine at all since coming off the drugs. I threw away those pills so I don’t have them in my house anymore. 
The oxezepam I have not used for few weeks now. I do still have them on me for comfort. My coal is to reach within myself for comfort, not to reach for a pill.

I have started a CBT therapy for my panic attacks, my therapist told me that I can overcome it with coping skills, and practice.

Thanks for dropping by 🙏
 


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

Sounds like excellent progress, Hanna. Congratulations.

 

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator

And here comes the sun ! ❤☀️

So happy for you when I read your progress, more healing is coming...!

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Yes here comes the sun, thank you guys ☀️
 

I want to use this post today to give the people who might read this positivity🙂

These are my improvements:

 

I can read a book , haven’t been able to sit and focus on one task for long, I could only listen to audio books

My walks are more fast paced

I have been doing a lot of sewing, for hours on end
I am so much calmer 

More energy 

My sleep has improved 

I can finally work on my panic attacks 

My vision is improving (less blurred)

No headaches

Less nausea 

Less dizziness 

Last but not least, I get goosebumps 😃 anything that I hear or see that moves me, so weird, haven’t felt that in years 

My spirits have lifted 😊

 

I have to admit that anger has fuelled me in this process, still have that, but is lessening. 
I also want you to know that I admire everyone in here. We are all survivors💪
I am a work in progress , but things have finally improved, and so will all of you.


One goal we all share

Freedom🙏

 

 

 


 

 


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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  • Moderator

Dear Hannah, 

 

you never cease to amaze me ! 

Your strenght and faith in healing really inspire me !

And this is not idle talk : everytime I read your updates, I can feel your positivity contaminating my mind and body !

 

So, thank you for this 🙏

 

And really pleased to read your improvements. Enjoy those good nights of sleep, they are so sweet ❤️

 

I'm being curious : when you talk about anxiety, would you say it is a common anxiety, or a chemical Wd induced one ?

 

3 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

I can read a book , haven’t been able to sit and focus on one task for long, I could only listen to audio books

 

I understand so well ! Couldn't sit and read for some time when I first came on SA, and it was so nice when I could again !

Books really are a fantastic way to calm down and escape :)

 

Take care ☀️

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

Link to post
Longroadhome

Great news Hanna !! 
so pleased for you in every way 

keep moving forward.  

it takes great strength to go through WD and no doubt you will be compensated in recovery ! 

 

 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to post
Longroadhome

@Hanna72

 

a question for you 

you were on Paxil a very long time 

did you develop poop out as in symptoms of WD while taking Paxil ? 
 

what did you originally go on ADs for if I may ask ? 
 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Hanna72

Erell thank you  🙏 

1 hour ago, Erell said:

I'm being curious : when you talk about anxiety, would you say it is a common anxiety, or a chemical Wd induced one ?

I have always had anxiety. But my panic attacks is the reason I went on Paxil. I can’t tell the difference between chemical and my own anxiety. But what I can tell you is that Paxil NEVER helped me with anxiety, it numbed me yes, but that is not helping in my opinion.  That’s what I have learned, we have to work on it, even though it’s scary, I have been so scared for so many years, I refuse to let it stop me now. I want to live, and I don’t want my panic attacks to control me anymore.

48 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

 

@Hanna72

 

a question for you 

you were on Paxil a very long time 

did you develop poop out as in symptoms of WD while taking Paxil ? 
 

what did you originally go on ADs for if I may ask ? 

 

I have thought about it, I think I was in tolerance. A lot of times I felt like a drug addict, I could feel the wd come. It’s a scary place to be at. I could NOT miss a dose or I would suffer 

To be honest I NEVER believed that Paxil helped me, it numbed me yes. Thats why I have so much anger in me. I don’t like « labels «  anymore. Everyone goes through hard times, it’s called to be human.  But I was young and I believed my doctor.

I went on Paxil for panic attacks 

Something you can get help with other then pill form


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

Link to post
Longroadhome

What do you mean by suffer Hanna? 
I knew I was in tolerance because I started to get symptoms such as anxiety tinnitus night sweats allergies and other subtle symptoms over the last few years while taking 20mg Paxil . 
it was when the anxiety started that I knew I had to taper off 
does your anxiety come on in an instant with just a thought. As mine does and it’s exadurated and  can abate considerably  just by taking my mind off it and that’s why I think it is chemical.   
also  do you have or have you had depression ? 
I get anxiety and depression for me they go hand in hand 

The depression can feel severe one minute and much lighter if I take my mind off it the next. 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to post
Cocopuffz17
4 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Yes here comes the sun, thank you guys ☀️
 

I want to use this post today to give the people who might read this positivity🙂

These are my improvements:

 

I can read a book , haven’t been able to sit and focus on one task for long, I could only listen to audio books

My walks are more fast paced

I have been doing a lot of sewing, for hours on end
I am so much calmer 

More energy 

My sleep has improved 

I can finally work on my panic attacks 

My vision is improving (less blurred)

No headaches

Less nausea 

Less dizziness 

Last but not least, I get goosebumps 😃 anything that I hear or see that moves me, so weird, haven’t felt that in years 

My spirits have lifted 😊

 

I have to admit that anger has fuelled me in this process, still have that, but is lessening. 
I also want you to know that I admire everyone in here. We are all survivors💪
I am a work in progress , but things have finally improved, and so will all of you.


One goal we all share

Freedom🙏

 

 

 


 

 

That is awesome to hear! Very interesting we have the exact same feelings coming back. I cannot remember having goosebumps at all during my 11 years on paxil and now that I am off I get them all the time. What a joy it is to feel emotions of being a human being !!! So glad for yo

I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Hanna72

@Longroadhome What I mean by suffering is that if I didn’t take my Paxil dose at the same time I had wd symptoms. I had to have Paxil on me at all times, in case I had forgotten to take it. That’s what I call an addict. 
To be honest I don’t like to talk about the horrific effects of Paxil, but I can tell you that at one time I thought I had MS and I I went to a doctor about it, without no results.

My focus has mostly been the positive, I don’t want to lingerie in the negative. That mentality has saved me I believe.

Yes my thoughts contribute to my anxiety for sure, it’s a pattern that I am working on

I can only tell you this, everyone suffers, that’s life. What we are not told when we are put on this poison, is that it makes our nervous system so fragile. But I believe that we are in this group for a reason. We know better, and we are willing to go the extra mile, what ever it takes. 
That’s what makes us true survivors💪


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Hanna72

Thank you @Cocopuffz17

Yes it feels amazing to feel.

I want you to know that you have been my inspiration. You are a true survivor 🙏 Keep on thriving💪


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

Link to post
  • Moderator
25 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

To be honest I don’t like to talk about the horrific effects of Paxil,

 

Please excuse us Hannah if our curiosity is unpleasant, and feel free to not answer.

Yourself first, always ❤️

 

Just know how much you are an inspiration for our community, and how much we love your positivity ☀️

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

Link to post
Longroadhome

@Hanna72

thank you for  your reply 

so true that these drugs make our CNS so fragile . 
 

we never got told about the  side effects Of ADs only that we had a chemical imbalance .


I am now a firm believer that we don’t need something to “fix” anxiety or depression . We have the capacity to do this without being medicated. By using self belief and inner strength and Hanna you havevthis in abundance !!  
 

as you say it takes special courage to come off this medication and you are doing fantastic !! 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Hanna72

No problem @Erell 
I am still furious of those of us still suffering, if it comes of cross negative I am sorry. I just feel enormous sadness reading stories of suffering and all I want to do is tell you all that it will get better. 
And @Longroadhome I have so much faith in you, I will be on the sideline to root for you🙏


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

Link to post
Longroadhome

Aaah thank you Hanna from  my heart 

That has brought a tear to my eye. 

 

 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Hanna72

I want to share with you a song  I had on repeat months on end

First in my taper I had the song; Not afraid, by Eminem 

What I did is grab some lines out of the song and apply it to myself 

[Intro]
Yeah, it's been a ride
I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one
Now some of you might still be in that place

If you're tryna get out, just follow me
I'll get you there

[Verse 1]
You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
But you won't take the sting out these words before I say 'em

'Cause ain't no way I'ma let you stop me from causin' mayhem
When I say I'ma do somethin', I do it
I don't give a damn what you think, I'm doin' this for me
So **** the world,
 feed it beans
It's gassed up if it thinks it's stoppin' me

I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt, undoubtably
And all those who look down on me
I'm tearin' down your balcony

No ifs, ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He's married to the game

Like a "**** you" for Christmas, his gift is a curse
Forget the Earth, he's got the urge to pull his d*ck from the dirt
And **** the whole universe

 

I had that song on repeat every morning I woke up, in the begining of my taper in 2019

 

Lyrics and songs have played a big tribute in my recovery. 
Use everything you have

and it will get you were you want to be🙏

 


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

Link to post
Cocopuffz17
10 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Thank you @Cocopuffz17

Yes it feels amazing to feel.

I want you to know that you have been my inspiration. You are a true survivor 🙏 Keep on thriving💪

 

Awww thanks! I appreciate it alot! You are extremely strong as well! I am glad it going good for you :) 

I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

Link to post
PerAsperaAdAstra

Hi Hanna72! Saw your message all of a sudden. Sort of missed it. I get really excited if I see someone like you having battled this Paxil devil and coming out on the other side. Way to go! :-D. Really inspiring so thanks.

 

I'm nowhere near where you are, but going down from 30mg to 20mg nearly did not cause any bumps. Your rooting is really helpful. 

Antidepressant history

2001 - 2018: Paxil / seroxat (20 mgs), several failed c/t and taper attempts.

2018-September: last failed c/t attempt.

2018-October: reinstated Paxil (30 mgs)

2018-October thru 2019-January: Short-term Oxazepam & Diazepam use. Tapered off very slowly. Jumped 10Jan2019.

 

Brassmonkey Slide Method stats

Started taper in 2020-03-28. Currently: week 1 of 7th slide. Down to 15,54 mgai / 0,1895  mgpw. 48,00% done.

 

Supplements: C, D, Magnesium, NMN, PQQ+CoQ10

Miscellaneous: low on alcohol (1/2 times/year). No substance abuse. Lower carb diet with cheat days. Wim Hof Method. Buteyko. Calisthenics. Hiking.

Link to post
  • Moderator

Hello dear Hanna,

 

How are you doing these days?

 

Take care ☀️

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

Link to post

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