Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Cigale

Hello @Gridley - I hope all is well in your world. I wanted to let you know that I have had a couple of windows this past week. The waves are also a little less overwhelming. Sleep is still a challenge but I am trying to accept insomnia and not add to my anxiety by fighting it. It has been about three month since I reinstated, so I think I am making okay progress. I want to thank you again for your support and guidance. 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69

Hello @Cigale, thank you for dropping by my thread. Have had a read of yours, sounds like you're well on your way to stabilisation. That's great news :) 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley
5 hours ago, Cigale said:

a couple of windows

That is fantastic news, Cigale.  You are healing and the reinstatement is working.  That's very wise to accept the insomnia and not add to your anxiety by fighting it.  Even if you're not sleeping, you are resting, and that is good for you.


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Oct. 21, 2020 at 0.025mg

Taper is 99.875% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Thank you @sunnysideup69 and @Gridley for your encouragement. As is the case with this unpredictable state we're in, today I have been swamped by a wicked wave - burning panic feeling in head and heart and upset stomach. I am trying to figure out why, but also realize that maybe there is no answer. I have been doing more cycling - something that always brought me peace - but my rides have been filled with waves of panic. Have you two had any trouble with exercise and WD? I always thought exercise was the best thing you can do for anxiety or depression.

 

Hugs to you both!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69
51 minutes ago, Cigale said:

Thank you @sunnysideup69 and @Gridley for your encouragement. As is the case with this unpredictable state we're in, today I have been swamped by a wicked wave - burning panic feeling in head and heart and upset stomach. I am trying to figure out why, but also realize that maybe there is no answer. I have been doing more cycling - something that always brought me peace - but my rides have been filled with waves of panic. Have you two had any trouble with exercise and WD? I always thought exercise was the best thing you can do for anxiety or depression.

 

Hugs to you both!

 

For me, I know that sometimes running (when I'm already stressed) can make me feel worse, as in more symptomatic. At the moment, I'm swapping some of my runs for equal distance walks instead...it seems to be better that way. Exercise definitely helps, but I think strenuous exercise increases cortisol, which can make you feel worse for sure.

Sending hugs xxx


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

I really appreciate the fast reply @sunnysideup69 . I am going to give your suggestion a try and take my dogs for a walk now. My other big challenge - and that of so many tired souls here - is sleep. And last night was rough. I have been meditating and doing Gridley's legs up exercise before bed. Most nights I get to sleep pretty quickly, but then wake up in a panic around 130-2 and then awake again at 330-4 and then 6. I have been digging into all the resources here to see if I can improve my sleep some how. But first that walk! Thank you again!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley
1 hour ago, Cigale said:

Have you two had any trouble with exercise and WD? I always thought exercise was the best thing you can do for anxiety or depression.

 

Unfortunately, what works for those not in withdrawal often has an opposite effect on us, and I think strenuous exercise is one of these things.   I do fine taking the dogs for a walk, but the other day I pushed myself and climbed high up on our mountain.  When I got down, the overstimulation made me very agitated.  


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Oct. 21, 2020 at 0.025mg

Taper is 99.875% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale
2 minutes ago, Gridley said:

Unfortunately, what works for those not in withdrawal often has an opposite effect on us, and I think strenuous exercise is one of these things.

Thank you @Gridley for this information. I have started wondering about this opposite effect of exercise. I guess I will just need to try and back off the intensity and see if that helps. Though this makes me a bit sad 😢. Cycling and running have been my therapy and my social world since I was a little girl running with my dad and my brother around our pond.

 

And I am sorry to hear that you also had a bad reaction. I am sending you some healing hugs!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Hello @Gridley - I hope you are doing well and staying healthy. I am doing okay and taking it a day at a time.

 

I have a couple of questions that I have tried to find answers to on the forum. So if I need to post them elsewhere or keep digging, please just tell me to do so. First, my doctor said she is willing to help with my taper when the time comes. When I told her I wanted to switch to liquid Lexapro for that, she suggested I switch now - staying at 5mg. I wonder if that is something I should consider now. Also, I wonder when or how I will know I have stabilized on Lexapro, especially since it has always triggered some anxiety for me.

 

Thank you for your guidance.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley
25 minutes ago, Cigale said:

how I will know I have stabilized on Lexapro,

Stability means that your symptoms are tolerable and more of less the same from day to day, without big swings in either direction.  Do you feel you are stable?

 

If you're not stable and not ready to taper, I'd hold off on a switch.  It's only been three months from your Paxil adverse reaction and your reinstatement of Lexapro. I'd give it a bit more time before making any changes.   Does your doctor have a reason for doing it now?

 

When you make the switch we recommend a a gradual crossover:

3/4 dose tablet, 1/4 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days

1/2 dose tablet, 1/2 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days

1/4 dose tablet, 3/4 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days

all liquid thereafter


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Oct. 21, 2020 at 0.025mg

Taper is 99.875% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

I appreciate you getting back to me @Gridley on my questions.

 

10 hours ago, Gridley said:

Do you feel you are stable?

 

No, I don’t feel like I am stable yet. I have had a couple of better days and then I will get hit by a wave that takes me down hard. Some times it feels like the better the window, the harder the subsequent wave. And maybe some of that is me pushing myself to do more when I am in a window because I am so afraid of losing ground. 

 

I believe my doctor suggested the switch just to give me an option to consider. She wants to be helpful and at the same time doesn’t really believe or understand ADWD. She just thinks I wasn’t on Lexapro long enough to treat my anxiety. 

 

And thank you for the crossover information. I am wondering how that will work since the liquid form of Lexapro is the strongest here at 20mg/ml...I think one drop is 1mg. I would imagine some one here has had to deal with this dosage situation.

 

Thanks again for your help. Take care, Cigale


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley
5 hours ago, Cigale said:

And maybe some of that is me pushing myself to do more when I am in a window because I am so afraid of losing ground. 

I would wait on the liquid.

 

Just enjoy your windows.  You don't have to do more and you're not going to lose ground because you don't do more.  


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Oct. 21, 2020 at 0.025mg

Taper is 99.875% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale
4 minutes ago, Gridley said:

Just enjoy your windows.

 

Thank you Gridley. I will try to savor my windows. Take care.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69
On 5/18/2020 at 5:12 PM, Cigale said:

I really appreciate the fast reply @sunnysideup69 . I am going to give your suggestion a try and take my dogs for a walk now. My other big challenge - and that of so many tired souls here - is sleep. And last night was rough. I have been meditating and doing Gridley's legs up exercise before bed. Most nights I get to sleep pretty quickly, but then wake up in a panic around 130-2 and then awake again at 330-4 and then 6. I have been digging into all the resources here to see if I can improve my sleep some how. But first that walk! Thank you again!

 

Dropping by to say hello :)  I have stopped running. Like you, I also love it....but I'm really trying to calm my system down and I think it increases cortisol, read that somewhere on here....So, instead of running 5k twice a week, I'm now walking 5k twice a week. Will try to resume gentle running again in September. I see you practise yoga....that's the other thing I'm aiming to introduce :) 

Sleep is also an issue for me. Desperately trying NOT to nap in the day, but yesterday had such big fatigue, had to. Been keeping up a bedtime routine of screens off at 8 30pm, warm bath, then legs up wall and read. Pretty sure it's improving things, although I still always wake once in the early hours.

Sending good wishes x

 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

You are so sweet @sunnysideup69! Thank you for the visit! Sounds like you are doing all the right things and that you are getting more rest. I have definitely dialed back my exercise, though might have to do more. I have always exercised to calm and ground myself, and it has also been a major social outlet for me. So stopping seems so scary. And yet I have got to get more sleep. I used to be such a good sleeper and napper.

 

I do love yoga and do a series of gentle stretches every night before I do the legs up wall and read a bit. Let me know if you are looking for any online yoga resources or stretches. I have been doing this for nearly 30 years and it has always been good for my soul.

 

Hugs and courage!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69
2 minutes ago, Cigale said:

You are so sweet @sunnysideup69! Thank you for the visit! Sounds like you are doing all the right things and that you are getting more rest. I have definitely dialed back my exercise, though might have to do more. I have always exercised to calm and ground myself, and it has also been a major social outlet for me. So stopping seems so scary. And yet I have got to get more sleep. I used to be such a good sleeper and napper.

 

I do love yoga and do a series of gentle stretches every night before I do the legs up wall and read a bit. Let me know if you are looking for any online yoga resources or stretches. I have been doing this for nearly 30 years and it has always been good for my soul.

 

Hugs and courage!

 Thank you :) 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

 

On 5/25/2020 at 10:36 PM, Gridley said:

When you make the switch we recommend a a gradual crossover:

3/4 dose tablet, 1/4 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days

1/2 dose tablet, 1/2 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days

1/4 dose tablet, 3/4 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days

all liquid thereafter

 

Hello @Gridley! I hope you are doing okay today. I have what I hope is a quick question. As I dream of starting my taper, I wondered if I need to do this gradual crossover if I make my own liquid. I am starting to think that I will want to take that approach instead. Thank you!

 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley
32 minutes ago, Cigale said:

need to do this gradual crossover if I make my own liquid.

I'm assuming you're switching from tablet to making your own liquid.  Yes, the gradual crossover would still apply.  People absorb liquids differently (faster) than tablets, and you want to reduce any shock to your system from the change as much as possible.


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Oct. 21, 2020 at 0.025mg

Taper is 99.875% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Thank you Gridley!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Just a short update for the record. After an okay day on Saturday, I have been struggling with intense waves of anxiety and depression. I am trying to breath and meditate through it all, but sometimes it feels like that makes it worse. Maybe I am trying too hard. And now with the deconfinement, every one wants to celebrate and be together and I am more afraid than ever that I can’t be present, and happy like everyone else. It has been hard to maintain my relationships and I haven’t been able to keep my commitments. What is sometimes so frightening about all this is that I don’t know day-to-day how well I will do or what might trigger a slide. But I have to be strong and change the channel. This journey is hard and long, but I have no choice but to keep moving forward.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Altostrata

Have you made any changes in your drugs recently?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

I appreciate you checking in @Altostrata. I am still trying to stabilize on Lexapro 5mg pill, taken with breakfast around 8-830am. I don’t take anything else, no supplements or OTC meds. I have been trying to drink more water and sometimes add lemon to it. I also had a couple of glasses of coconut water over the last couple of days to help with dehydration. And I have been eating more fruit - cherries, strawberries, apricots. All this seems harmless but I am still figuring out this world of ADWD. Thank you.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

I am in day four of one of the hardest waves I’ve experienced since reinstating over three months ago. Before this I was able to move through the morning anxiety and get about my day, noting and accepting the waves of anxiety and depressed thoughts. Since Sunday though, my symptoms have been becoming more profound with breakfast and increase throughout the day. Heart racing, anxiety/depression, trouble eating (my weight loss is more evident to family, friends), and difficulty concentrating in order to distract myself by cooking, reading. Writing this update is a challenge. Trying to use my tools, walking, meditating, gratitude, which provide momentary relief. I fear that I reinstated too high at 5mg, but believe there’s no changing that now, just acceptance until I can stabilize. Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance. And there’s so much I am grateful for, especially this community.  


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69

Sending hugs and good wishes. These big waves are horrible but they always pass. Perhaps watching a movie would be good if you can't read??

It's okay to just slump into it a bit ;) and i know what you mean re friends/ celebration. Last week when I was feeling more wavey, I was wondering how I'd see friends or even want to go out. This week, I'm looking forward to it. It'll change, just focus on what you need at the moment.


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Thank you Sunnysideup69 for the suggestion. I really appreciate you and your support. Strangely, since I restarted Lexapro, I have struggled to even watch movies and TV in general. Sometimes it can be distracting and other times it is triggering. It’s just these sorts of odd changes to my normal that have been so difficult. Before all this, I loved listening to music and finding new artists. And now I have to remember to put music on and try to remember what it felt like to appreciate it. I do know I tend to rumination and might need to push myself to step away from the forum for a bit. I do feel like I am wallowing in misery, but then again I have never been so debilitated before. Plus my friends and family don’t understand why I can’t just change medications and get on with life. At least I have this community and my incredibly patient and loving husband, who sees my real struggles.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Yes @sunnysideup69 - You are so right, one day, one minute, one moment at a time. And breath and smile and accept. I can’t control what the chemicals might be doing to my system. But I can control my reaction to the symptoms. I will get through this. I’ve come so far and this has given me the rare opportunity to reflect on who I am and what I can do to be more resilient, patient, present and mindful. I just wish I knew that I am going to stabilize on Lexapro.

 

I see that you have been down the Lexapro road, but then switched to Effexor. It looks like it took about 5 months for you to stabilize on Effexor. Did you have WDs from Lexapro during that time?


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Oops @sunnysideup69! I just realized you were on Celexa not Lexapro, sorry.

 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69
4 hours ago, Cigale said:

Oops @sunnysideup69! I just realized you were on Celexa not Lexapro, sorry.

 

Yes, I was on Citalopram. Escitalopram's cousin.....I still have some WD going on, ten months down the line from the switch, but it has gotten a lot better. Was horrible at first, though. At four months, I felt a bit better, then took a dip because of world situ/bereavement. Have been slowly been climbing back up again since. May was much better and I feel I'm levelling out again. Main symptoms left are skin, anhedonia, fatigue, sleep still a bit erratic.

 

Three months isn't long....I mean, it FEELS like forever, unfortunately, but don't get worried that you're not yet stable. It can take a while and you're doing all the right things. It's just frustratingly slow as your CNS stabilises.

I've just spent the afternoon napping. Think I might have overdone the exercise yesterday, elt so fatigued by lunchtime today. This forces you to really listen to your body.

Hoping this wave will go away for you very soon :) 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

I really appreciate your willingness to share your experience with me. It is really very helpful and you give me hope! I know in the big picture that three months is nothing. But it sure feels like an eternity when you are in the middle of a wave. I had a little window this evening, thanks to your suggestion. I decided to face my wacky fear of watching TV or movies and watched an episode of my husband's latest favorite series, "Last Dance" about Michael Jordan. And I felt okay. But now I need to do some yoga, legs up and lights out. I hope you sleep well tonight. Thank you again for your support. Bisous!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Hello @Gridley - I hope you are doing well this weekend. I am currently trying to work my way through a wave this week - intense morning dread and anxiety (racing heart, difficulty focusing and talking, and burning sensation in torso) that peaks between 11am-3pm and then continues through dinner. What is strange about this current wave is that I am finally starting to get more regular sleep - about 6 hours a night. I was just so sure that more sleep would help me get to a new level of comfort and a lower level of anxiety. But it seems the reverse is true for the moment at least. Have you heard of anything like this before?


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley
5 hours ago, Cigale said:

. Have you heard of anything like this before?

First of all, it's great you're getting better sleep, which is very helpful for healing.  There is not any way to predict the reasons and timing and severity of waves.  There are so many factors involved, and it's possible your wave would have been worse without the improved sleep.  It's nothing to be concerned about.  Just get through the wave as best you can, be kind and gentle with yourself, and avoid stress as much as possible.


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Oct. 21, 2020 at 0.025mg

Taper is 99.875% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Thank you @Gridley for getting back to me so quickly. All this makes sense and I will do the best I can to follow your advise. I really appreciate your support!

 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

So frightened today @Gridley. Over the last 10 days I have really gone backwards for some reason. I am having symptoms I had in February when ADWD hit after my fast taper in December. Tinnitus and akathisia/terror. Last two nights I have had about 4 hours sleep with really intense, awful dreams. I have tried walking and meditating today but can't seem to break through. Is the Lexapro making me worse?


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Just thought of something that could be a factor. The last three mornings I have taken my Lexapro 5mg on an empty stomach before breakfast, when I usually take it after I have eaten something. The timing is actually the same since I have been struggling to get out of bed in the mornings lately.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley
1 minute ago, Cigale said:

I have taken my Lexapro 5mg on an empty stomach

I'm sorry you're feeling bad, Cigale.  I always make sure to take my Lexapro on a full stomach.  It could make a difference.

34 minutes ago, Cigale said:

Is the Lexapro making me worse?

Would you say that, on whole, you've been better since you reinstated Lexapro on Feb. 18?


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Oct. 21, 2020 at 0.025mg

Taper is 99.875% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Cigale

Thanks @Gridley for getting back to me so fast. I will go back to taking Lexapro after eating.

 

7 minutes ago, Gridley said:

Would you say that, on whole, you've been better since you reinstated Lexapro on Feb. 18?

 

On the whole, I would say I am not better and a little worse, especially this last week and a half. I'm so sorry.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg to stabilize before taper

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; biweekly CBT & ACT therapy

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy