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Nikki

Let's Talk Anxiety...

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Nikki

I am convinced that a good dose of sun (a tan) and the ocean or pool are great antidotes for what ails us, emotionally or physically.

 

It does work for me and I do live in FL by the beach so it is available. There have been many times when I was immobilized to take advantage of this lovely natural remedy due to anxiety.

 

Without anxiety or a very small amount of it, I can tap into the better part of myself. I have to make a point of reading the link provided by Tom to reinforce recovery on a daily basis.

 

The person who wrote the letter in that link said that what we tend to do is constantly focus on anxiety and depression and in turn there is a part of the brain (which one I forget) that continually get the message that if we are constantly reading about it the brain is getting a message that something is wrong so the problem keeps getting stronger.

 

So the antidote is to stop reading about anxiety and pick up a Novel, not another self help book. Daily messages include "I am okay." Or tell the anxiety off.

 

Seems to be helping me alot.

 

Hugs

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Barbarannamated

The more I read accounts of others' incapacitating anxiety, I realize I am on the other end of the 'energy spectrum' if there is such a thing. I was much more functional in early months of withdrawal when my level of anxiety was high, which may well be a low level for many of you. I was able to harness it as energy on most days. As that's diminished, a crushing fatigue has taken over. I never suffered from anxiety prior to drugs.

Just an observation.

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Nikki

Barb I've read many posts about people never having anxiety until they took AD's and tried to get off of them.

 

Barb can you tell me your medical condition. Can that be contributing to anxiety/dread?

What are you tapering off of? I think crushing fatige causes anxiety. We all just want to be normal and that's anxiety producing.

 

Honestly, anxiety is at an all time record high since the economic downturn. It has started off as a financial-situational issue for alot of Americans. Anxiety is insidious and festers and feeds off of itself.....so we now have 16 million Americans suffering from anxiety.

 

I have always appreciated honesty, you know when people open up about it. I didn't feel so alone.

 

Hugs

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Barbarannamated

Nikki,

Drugs definitely set the anxiety in motion during several CTs and switches with SS/NRIs, antipsychotics, and benzos over the years. Also, early withdrawal was classic with early morning cortisol panic awakenings and anxiety most of the day. I'm about 1 year out now, which I understand is a time many have a setback.

 

My medical picture is not good- an autoimmune mess- liver disease, thyroid, ovaries, osteoporosis (broke several bones before age 45- I AM a clutz!), probably adrenal involvement. It all runs together when autoimmunity attacks. It's looking like Lupus may have been missed many years ago and treated as depression. I'm not certain on that and maybe it's a blessing as the treatment for that is lifelong steroid treatment from what I understand. It explains why I've felt so low energy most of my life.

Discussion of 1990s labwork i found May 2012:

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1593-thyroid-symptoms/page__pid__22871__st__40#entry22871

 

Sorry to get off topic. Reading your accounts clarified earlier thoughts that I'm not on the anxiety spectrum and also why SSRIs never worked for me, even for a time. I also have many psychosocial factors involved, as ive talked about ad nauseum.

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Nikki

Barb if you have Lupus can't you apply for Social Security? My understanding is that determining if someone has Lupus the testing is a process of elimination. Is that still true?

 

These drugs IMO cause ultimately cause anxiety.

 

Barbara is there anything that can help to recharge your batteries to lessen the fatigue. I feel for you. When we feel fatigued it can bring us down or for myself it exacerbates anxiety. Would a daily swim or some mild water aerobics help?

 

Hugs

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Barbarannamated

I've been on disability (SSDI plus private thru last employer) for pain (head/neck/TMJ) since 2001. I haven't yet looked into a doc regarding the labwork I found. I'm leery about going on steroids. Not sure how much more chemical battering this body can handle. A few years ago a friend's Wii game estimated my age at 81. I feel it! (49 and holding...)

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ajnjj

Barb I have done some research, have u tried olive leaf extract it grape seed extract? They may help with the fatigue as well as your medical conditions, however, I'm no phd so please do your own research.

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Barbarannamated

I haven't tried those, Ajnjj. Thank you. No PhD required!

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tezza

That made me smile :) I had to look at Wesite twice BC I thought that at first too, Barb!

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tezza

Oops! I didn't realize there were more posts but you know what I mean....Website bit a toad was Wesite ... :)

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Nikki

Tezza - funny:)

 

My Westie is as good as new. Full recovery. Can you imagine the dog bit a poisonous toad and had a full recovery and we are struggling to recover from medications and it takes years. Wow!

 

There is a post under Symptoms discussing the obsessing we go thru. Very good. Check it out.

 

I'd like to run something by you. I am feelng guilty this morning. I had dinner with three friends yesterday. We do this regularly and it's on the water. Lovely. One friend incessantly discusses ex-spouse.

No matter what the conversation is, she interrupts big time, and somehow brings him into the conversation and then dominates the conversation. It's been 10 years. She's really a very sweet girl. However this is her obsession.

 

I don't know if I feel this way due to tapering - or - I am just tired of hearing about it. When I was tapering Lexapro I had a short fuse, very impatient, angry. I did not catch myself then and I'd like to be aware of it now.

 

I can't tell how much of it is me or her.

 

Last night, she interrupted, took over and went on a roll. I said, why are we talking about him? This is old.

She kept going on and I said okay I am calling it a night. It was late and I did want to leave anyway. But I did have attitude.

 

Again, did I reach a saturation point or was I over-reacting from a taper? Feel guilty and wonder if I should call and apologize. Would it have been better to just sit there and let it go? This may be the best thing to do when tapering......detach

 

 

Hugs

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Barbarannamated

Nikki,

Just a thought....perhaps the antidepressants allowed you to have an unusually looooong fuse (via dulling responses) and you are now getting to a more appropriate response. ?? You've mentioned this person before and, IMHO, it does not serve anyone well to rehash the same material and take no action. I feel like I've been going over the same loop for years and will not talk to friends about it anymore. Your friend needs to move past a situation that is long over and resolved, except in her mind. I think you did the good thing by not continuing to play into her perseveration.

She may need help (from a therapist) in accepting the death of a relationship and moving past it. You have no reason to feel guilty, IMO. It sounds like she is 'addicted' to talking about it as if that will somehow keep it alive.

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Nikki

Thanks Barb... I did run this by two friends and they both told me they find it annoying. Her ex-spouse is a pedifile. The subject matter sickens me. She does not pursue counseling and never has.

 

She is a good person and I feel for her, but it is time for me to move on in a peaceful manner.

 

My concern over my actions were ~ am I getting agitated from the taper? Am I obsessing from the taper? Am I keeping my side of the street clean? I didn't do that during the Lexapro fiasco. I was all over the map, angry, agitated, jumpy. I am not doing that now, and I want to make sure I catch myself right away.

 

Barbara today Secret Word seems to be STUCK. Lots of posts today on that subject.

 

AD medications = anxiety + depression + distorted thinking + physical maladies + mixed up brain chemistry = STUCK

 

Here's to a better tommorow:)

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Nikki

Today while working. I had a call back to when I was little. As far back as 2 years old when I first had an odd feeling. I know now that it was hypersensitivity. I know I was born that way.

 

I would feel things in a much more intense way than other kids. I became afraid of that parituclar feeling.

 

This may have been the inception of anxiety. My mother was hard on us, and that was probably the worst thing for me or any other very sensitive child. I went to Catholic Schools and we were abused by the nuns. That sensitivity became fear and anxiety. And I have had it ever since.

 

It wasn't that bad in my 20's & 30's. It was low grade. In my 40's it hit a level that was so intense I went on AD's.

 

Maybe the AD's were a 'band-aid' and helped me to cope. Eventully too much use exacerbated anxiety. For me it was and maybe still is a PTSD from WD. Maybe it is an imbalance at this point in time from AD's. My poor brain is trying it's hardes to balance itself.

 

I know I can into the world somehow predisposed to anxiety. Have never been able to accept that. I have always looked at sensitivty as a curse.

 

Nikki

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Barbarannamated

Just in case you havent come across this:

 

THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON

http://www.hsperson.com/

 

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/2Feb05.htm

 

I don't know of all of the recommendations/beliefs of author, but thought it might strike a chord.

This "sensitivity" is not only emotional sensitivity, but sensitivity to all types of stimuli both physical and emotional. NOT a weakness, in other words.

 

{{{HUGS}}}

B

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jfrank17

Anxiety is definitely my biggest challenge in life and in withdrawal. I'll be reading through the thread more extensively but I was going to mention the HSP site that Barb just did. I read The Highly Sensitive Person years ago and it has made a huge impact on my life in understanding myself more and knowing I'm not "weird." Excellent book and website!

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Nikki

Barb and J....i did click on the link and then took a browse over at Amazon.com to check out the books there.

 

Yep....this is me. Highly sensitive in all manners. I am going to purchase her book for more self-understanding. Feeling sensitive has always frightened me. I became scard of the bodily feelings and then of course was told to toughen up.

 

At my age I am still having a hard time with total acceptance of who I really am.

Sensitive. I have been looking back since reading the link. Can't help but think that maybe someone like me is better off on a med.

 

The author was saying that people like me, generally produce more adrenaline/cortisol.

She was involved in studies in regards to this, and I can believe it.

 

She has a workbook too that accompanies the original book. I am probably going to purchase both.

 

Someday, someday I hope I can stop working on myself and just sit back and smell the roses :rolleyes: I think that's what most of us really want...

 

Hugs and lots of them.

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jfrank17

I think you'll really find comfort in it Nikki. She doesn't endorse trying to change or get tougher; in fact she wants us to accept and embrace it. It does affect every aspect of your life, but in a lot of good ways too. For example, we feel joy and peace more intensely too.

 

I have definitely always been an "HSP." I get upset and queasy during violent movies, I get really edgy if someone is blasting loud music and want to get somewhere quiet, I can't stand harsh bright lights. Most rooms in my house are lamp-lit in the evenings rather than overheads. I even have a little touch lamp on my kitchen table :).

 

Another book I thought of that helped me years ago but I can't find now is 'Embracing Uncertainty': http://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Uncertainty-Breakthrough-Methods-Achieving/dp/0312309554

 

I have a lot of other books I'm reading right now but if I can't find it I may pick up another copy.

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Barbarannamated

I had a brief spell of anxiety today, not sure what triggered it. It is definitely an awful feeling of "immediate-danger-must-run!" That's very rare for me. I am more familiar with "impending-doom-and-nothing-i-can-do-about-it" powerlessness.

 

Yes, anxiety like that is awful.

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Rhiannon

Just in case you havent come across this:

 

THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON

http://www.hsperson.com/

 

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/2Feb05.htm

 

I don't know of all of the recommendations/beliefs of author, but thought it might strike a chord.

This "sensitivity" is not only emotional sensitivity, but sensitivity to all types of stimuli both physical and emotional. NOT a weakness, in other words.

 

{{{HUGS}}}

B

 

I've always been sensitive but I used to have a sort of balancing strength. Nowadays I feel like I've lost that and all that's left is pure raw nerve endings. I wonder if highly sensitive people are more sensitive to the effects of psych drugs in some way or have more trouble with getting off them. Hard to say. Just a thought.

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Nikki

Yes I think "we" are mores sensitive in general. If there is a side effect from drug I will have it. This was before AD's.

 

If we produce more cortisol as the author stated, then in WD we are probably going to do it even more.

 

Like you said Rhi....just a thought but I think there is alot of truth behind it.

 

My whole life I tried to change this sensitivity rather than embrace or respect it.

Was told so many times by the people slinging out sarcasm...."your too sensitive."

I viewed it as a flaw.

 

Need to emit a new frequency over this part of my personality.

 

I'd like to get that book :D

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Nikki

Yes I think "we" are mores sensitive in general. If there is a side effect from drug I will have it. This was before AD's.

 

If we produce more cortisol as the author stated, then in WD we are probably going to do it even more.

 

Like you said Rhi....just a thought but I think there is alot of truth behind it.

 

My whole life I tried to change this sensitivity rather than embrace or respect it.

Was told so many times by the people slinging out sarcasm...."your too sensitive."

I viewed it as a flaw.

 

Need to emit a new frequency over this part of my personality.

 

I'd like to get that book :D

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Nikki

Yes I think "we" are mores sensitive in general. If there is a side effect from drug I will have it. This was before AD's.

 

If we produce more cortisol as the author stated, then in WD we are probably going to do it even more.

 

Like you said Rhi....just a thought but I think there is alot of truth behind it.

 

My whole life I tried to change this sensitivity rather than embrace or respect it.

Was told so many times by the people slinging out sarcasm...."your too sensitive."

I viewed it as a flaw.

 

Need to emit a new frequency over this part of my personality.

 

I'd like to get that book :D

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jfrank17

Yes there are a lot of good things about being highly sensitive even though it can be harder. We tend to love more deeply, feel joy and peace more intensely, feel empathy for others more easily. A lot of things I would not give up in order to be less sensitive.

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Barbarannamated

I first ran across the Highly Sensitive concept in an old autographed copy of book by Shafica Karagulla, MD, from 1980s. Interestingly, I found it in my psychiatrist's library (and never returned it!). She wrote about it long before the Arons, but doesnt appear to be credited. I dont recognize myself in it, but found it fascinating.

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