eekz: Seroxat pssd

[eekz]

Hello. Wanted to share my story. I am working in IT industry and in 2016 I had a very stressful work environment. I also did not have any romatic relationships for like 7 years (was 27 I think at this time). I also had severe acne in the past which left severe scars on my face. This resulted to low self esteem and after multiple rejections I stopped trying to date. Due to situation at work, I developed panic attacks and heart arythmia and even collapsed 3 times from it in public. All heart tests were showing nothing wrong and my doctor thought it was caused by stress/anxiety. I was prescribed Seroxat, but don't remeber the dosage. At first I felt great: had uplifted mood, picked up some new hobbies, heart arythmia was also gone. However, my libido was non existant and later I became tired all the time. I was sleeping long hours, but in the morning it felt like I couldn't move or get up and was feeling extremely dizzy. I overslept work meetings many times due to this. This is when I decided to stop antidepressants. I don't remember exactly how I went off it. I think I started taking decreased dosage while skipping some days entirely. I had some severe diziness when going off the drugs. I can't really remember how long I was on the drugs, about a year maybe until 2018 or so. So now its 2020, been off the drugs for 2 years or so. The post withdrawal symptoms that I experience is extreme apathy, no motivation, no drive, extremely disorganized and even more extreme memory problems. I work in software development, so there is constant learning needed. When I read some technical papers I forget everything about a week later. And it actually is for anything, not only IT related subjects. For example I have googled what hakuna matata means about 5 times in the last year and after a week I forget it again. Can't remember it now for example. I watch a lot of movies but forget the plot in a week. One of my hobbies is flying drones which involves some electric skills. I was reading so much about it but after a no flying winter I have forgotten a lot of it already even though I am actually passionate about this. My older memories from childhood which were so clear 5 years ago seems also very distant and lacking details now. Even the software projects that I developed myself and had deep knowledge of the code when actively developing it is gone after several weeks. It seems that I cannot retain information anymore. I phase out during meetings and have trouble keeping large complex systems in my memory. I can only work on a smaller scale, not grasping the whole system at any time.. Sometimes coworkers ask me a question about solution that I developed and my head is completely empty, I need like 20 minutes to sort everything in my head before I can answer initial questions. Due to this, I feel I am not progressing in my career and have to work 3 times more compared to my colleagues due to constantly having to reread material which I forgot. I also have poor organisational skills. I often don't have willpower to finish my taxes on time, to perform administrative tasks at work like planning vacations, organising meetings etc. A week or so ago I actually had a romantic encounter, but couldn't get fully erect or feel anything during the act. Before seroxat I had a very strong sex drive which is now pretty much gone. I also loved video games. But now they bore me after 5 minutes:/ Actually I was playing semi competitively in my teens/university years and I was very good at them. Now any new game I try seems not only boring but overwhelmingly complex with details that do not matter to me. I might actually have undiagnosed ADD or some other autistic spectrum disorder as I had some memory problems, brain fog and poor social skills all my life. But after stopping seroxat it seems that my problems increased tenfold:/ Now my socials skills seem to suffer more from the fact that I simply cannot remember relevant event from the past or even appropriate word and can't contribute much to the conversation. Anyone thinks this could be caused by paroxetine? For me it seems that my brain was left in some incomplete state after the drugs lol.. Any suggestions what I could try to get my life back on track? I will try to read existing posts to find answers, but there is so much information so it will take some time.

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, eekz.

 

You are experiencing protracted withdrawal from your fast taper of Seroxat (Paxil) two years ago.  All the symptoms you describe--memory problems, sexual difficulties, lack of pleasure in anything (anhedonia) and all the rest---are  very typical withdrawal symptoms.  

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Protracted Withdrawal or PAWS (post-acute withdrawal ...

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

Unfortunately, the only real cure for withdrawal is time so that your brain can repair itself.  You will heal, but we can't give you a timeline when that will happen.  It will be a very slow and gradual process, but the damage done by the drug is not permanent.  We suggest gentle exercise in nature and avoidance of caffeine, sugar and alcohol.

 

We also recommend non-drug techniques to cope with withdrawal.  Take a look at the links in the following link and see which you think might be helpful to you.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[eekz]

Thank you for a positive reply. I have been reading all day about withdrawal problems and on many forums, e.g. reddit's pssd subreddit, most are pessimistic about recovery:/ I will try your advices and maybe get a pet for some animal therapy. Not too keen on any more drugs myself. I have actually completely lost faith in today's medicine. SSRI's problems.. And as I mentioned, I had severe acne. Its main medication is isotretinoin which probably has more side effects than ssris. While it mostly cured my cystic acne, my face is still extremely oily with puss in every pore. It has left me with severe scarring and impaired skin regeneration due to drying skin while on isotretinoin. It also caused permanent sweating problems. I am all wet after 5 minutes of basketball lol.. Will update on my journey.

[Gridley]

17 minutes ago, eekz said:

most are pessimistic about recovery:

Based on our experience here over the years with many, many members, we are very optimistic about recovery.  Healing takes longer than we would like and it's a frustrating process, but it will happen. When you need a little cheering up, take a look at the Success Stories on our main page.  Here's the link:

 

Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal

Edited April 11, 2020 by Gridley

[Guest]

11 hours ago, eekz said:

Thank you for a positive reply. I have been reading all day about withdrawal problems and on many forums, e.g. reddit's pssd subreddit, most are pessimistic about recovery:/ I will try your advices and maybe get a pet for some animal therapy. Not too keen on any more drugs myself. I have actually completely lost faith in today's medicine. SSRI's problems.. And as I mentioned, I had severe acne. Its main medication is isotretinoin which probably has more side effects than ssris. While it mostly cured my cystic acne, my face is still extremely oily with puss in every pore. It has left me with severe scarring and impaired skin regeneration due to drying skin while on isotretinoin. It also caused permanent sweating problems. I am all wet after 5 minutes of basketball lol.. Will update on my journey.

I come from a family of literal perfect skin and after 7 years in zoloft withdrawal, seizures hallucinations etc...the acne i had everyday of that withdrawal has led to severe scarring as well, knowing that ill make it out of this isnt enough. I want my old self back, im suicidal but i wont give up. When will people realize whats going on.....god help us all