NoMoreLexapro: short time on Lexapro - still hell being off

[DinaDina]

@NoMoreLexaproEnglish isn't my native language that's why I suspect the DNRS system will be difficult for me but I think that I will try if I will not see any improvements in near future.

[NoMoreLexapro]

@DinaDina Great!  I mentioned a fb group earlier in this thread that's made up of people in WD who are doing DNRS right now.  A few are in Europe- that might help.

[Naomi007]

I have been looking at the Gupta program which i believe is similar

Any thoughts?

 

I had a diagnosis of ME in 1990 and then diagnosed with multiple autoimmune disorders

 

Now withdrawal and super sensitive to everything

main symptoms are anxiety, panic, thought fears, low mood and hopeless at time

 

 

I am reading Annie Hoppers book right now

 

Thank you

 

[NoMoreLexapro]

@Naomi007  Hi.  I don't know much about Gupta.  I hear it isn't quite as comprehensive as DNRS but I can't say for sure.  I will say that DNRS saved my life and career.  Hope that helps...please let me know if you have any other questions.  It's great you're reading ANnie's book!

[Naomi007]

Finished Annie's book, really interesting

 

Can the program DNRS help with withdrawal?

or helping someone reduced their meds?

 

Thank you so much

I am really interested in trying anything, and everything to get better

 

[WillowRain]

@NoMoreLexaproso glad i found your posts. Ive been doing Gupta program for 7 1/2 months now. Ive been off a/ds for 3.5 years now so im in protracted withdrawals. I was doing well, got to 75% healed just using coping skills/distractions but just before Christmas i took a 1/2 dose of a laxative which triggered a serious fight or flight response and i went from 75% healed down to 5%, i was never this ill, not in all my years of dealing with PAWS. In January i found brain retraining and the Gupta program. Now i would say im 50% healed. Still have a long ways to go but im getting there. Im hoping if i keep following the program i will heal faster than i otherwise would have.  Would love to get info on some other things so sending you a pm. ☺️

[Naomi007]

I would love to hear more about how Gupta helps with Withdrawal

 

I follow him on Meaning of Life app and really enjoy listening to him

 

I find his voice very soothing

I am so tempted to try the Gupta program but feel disheartened that so many things I have tried and spent tonnes of money on have not helped and some have cause more harm

 

However I am truly finding the brain retraining programs sound like such a good fit for me

I have multiple of autoimmune diseases and CFS as well and super sensitive to many things

 

 

[NoMoreLexapro]

This Friday will mark the 1.5 yr anniversary of coming off lexapro.  When I first began this journey I had no idea what would happen and, as my previous messages indicate, I had to go through absolute hell.  I remember reading Baylissa's book and hearing that it would take up to 1.5-2 yrs to fully recover.  I was aghast at that.  And yet, the last 1.5 yrs have gone by, far more quickly than I could have expected (though there were moments of absolute torture).

 

Now, 1.5 yrs later I can say that I'm almost completely healed.  There are a few remaining sxs...or I should say, vestiges/echoes of sxs...but I'm largely back to normal. I can drive again regularly, I am going to work again, and I can prepare my own meals.  My joy for (and a much greater appreciation for) living is back.  And I can eat anything I want again (although a recent lipid panel showed me I probably shouldn't, as my tryglicerides are high, my good cholesterol count is a little low, and my bad cholesterol count is a little high...but that isn't WD...that is just me too happy to be able to eat junk food again). 

 

Here's the crazy thing:  while I'd never, ever wish WD on anyone, ever, and while I'd never want to go through that it again, it did actually change me, in some ways, for the better:

1.  I'm far less bothered by small interruptions/nuisances in life.  After you barely survived something as horrendous as WD, a long traffic light or a computer glitch seems so small in comparison.  I am also now aware of how much I let those kinds of things bother me before this WD journey...and I laugh/am stunned by that.

2.  I have far greater compassion and empathy for anyone who is struggling, and especially so for those impacted by these drugs or chronic illness. I now know what it feels like to be dismissed by mainstream medicine and feel utterly alone and bewildered by something that was supposed to be a solution.  I'm also far more caring for anyone struggling w/mental illness.  I constantly urge my co-workers to use their paid time off and work from home if it will help their work/life balance.  Life is too short...and things can change too quickly/severely...

3.  I have much greater appreciation for beautiful things that I once completely took for granted:  nature, sunshine, birdsong, color, a gentle breeze, just being able to use the 5 senses in general.  At times in WD these things were the main things that helped me get to the next hour.  The best things in life are truly free.

4.  I will never, ever take a complete thought, the ability to write an email, the ability to participate in a meeting, or the ability to drive for granted again.  Ever. 

5.  I will not stop visiting this website from time to time, even after everything is totally healed.  It was there when I needed it and I care greatly about everyone on here going through WD.

 

As mentioned, there are a few lingering things that remind me of the trauma I went through due to these drugs:

1.  sleep hasn't completely regulated yet.  Before taking these drugs I could sleep through a war, for at least 8 hrs straight.  I still wake up 1-2x a night and total sleep is 5.5-7 hrs.  But it has definitely improved greatly.

2.  I have lingering periods of fatigue each day.  Some days this is minimal, some days it is more pronounced...but it, also, is far improved.

3.  Each day brings a short spell of forgetfulness, slightly off vision, a hint of brain fog, and/or spaciness.  Compared to what it was a year ago, it is barely a blip, so I can't complain.

4.  Now and then I'll have a little bit of nausea, cold/flu symptoms, or tiny dizziness. 

 

These are all fleeting, vestigial flavors of things that were once far more severe.

 

As I've mentioned before, retrainingthebrain.com (DNRS) is what helped me the most.  I have absolutely no doubt that if I hadn't started that on 12/25/2020 I would've gone into protracted WD, resulting in years of suffering.  It saved my life, it saved my career, and it has given me a totally new outlook on life and a reason to live.  I cannot thank my therapist enough for leading me to it.  The changes it effected were nothing short of miraculous.  More people in WD need to know about it.  I am now deriving great joy out of seeing other friends in WD who started it in the last 2-3 months experiencing similar positive shifts and improvements.  One, who was in protracted WD for over 4 yrs, is finally seeing some light and that is an answer to my prayers that has no equal. 

 

I continue to be dismayed and angered by the casual and haphazard way doctors throw psychotropic drugs out at people, almost like candy.  In my city it is very hard to get a psychiatrist- they are booked out at least a half a year, all across the board.  I have visions of all these doctors sending countless innocent sufferers on horrible journeys through multiple medications, with endless horror stories in tow.  It is just awful to consider.

 

WD taught me that there are 4 levels of existence:  surviving, coping, living, and thriving.  I now know what it feels like to just be in survival mode...to pray for a moment here and there to be able to just cope...which, at the time, seemed like a blessing in comparison.  It is a level of suffering that no one should ever experience.  But now, 1.5 yrs later I now know what it is like to basically be living and, every day, be thriving for bit as well.  I'll never, ever take it for granted again.

 

The improvements continue.  I'd say my baseline is an 8 or 8.5/10 on a daily basis.  The improvements are smaller now, but I can think back to things I did 6 wks ago/3 mths ago and I can tell those things are easier for me now.  I look forward to what the next few mths will bring.

 

For those of you in the darkest moments of this journey I tell you- I know how it feels.  I have the 16 trips to the emergency room, 70+ side effects, a week spent in a mental institution/psychiatric hospital, and over $41,000 in medical expenses alone in my first year of suffering to show for it.  I also remember, when the days were darkest, how much recovery stories helped me and inspired me...how much they gave me hope to try to keep living.  I remember hearing others tell me "you WILL get better", and "you WILL improve" and holding onto those statements like they were the last meal I would ever eat. 

 

Now, I can finally tell others the same thing.  You WILL get better.  You WILL improve.  There is a way out of this.  Actually, there are probably many ways out of this.  But if you are in WD right now and things are bad know that I have faith in you, I have faith in what God can do for you (as He has done for me), and there are many, many people praying for you every single night and every single day.  I'm one of them.  And you'll always have people who will be a pair of ears and heart full of love for you. 

 

I look forward to the future now and finally saying each day is a 10/10.  I praise and thank God, above all else, for bringing me to this point.  And I pray that He brings every single person on this site to full recovery because every single one of us deserves it. 

 

Thanks to all the amazing moderators and the endless resources on this site.  In an ideal world, there would be no need for it.  But until that day comes, the world is better for it. 

 

Love to you all-

[Naomi007]

incredible to read your post

 

I am so happy for you.  You have given us hope for sure

 

I will continue to read it as I continue this journey

 

Thank you so much

 

 

[NoMoreLexapro]

@Naomi007  You will endure, you will survive and you will live to comfort others.  I believe that.   

[WillowRain]

@NoMoreLexapro amazing post! I wish i had found brain retraining sooner! I probably never would have had my setback. Like you i am forever changed by this experience. Im almost 9 months into my brain retraining snd am seeing progress i just wish it was faster. Im still not where i was before my setback but getting there.  I refuse to believe i wont fully heal from this, no matter how long it takes. ❤️ 
 

if anyone wants to try a simplified version of brain retraining, download the meaning of life app. The new groove technique is a short version of brain retraining im doing taught in the Gupta program.  The hardest thing about brain retraining is the commitment to do it. 

[Naomi007]

I signed up for the Gupta last week and have made it to lesson 4, with daily mediations, so far

struggling with severe anxiety and racing thoughts that won't let up

 

Thank you for your encouragement

[Athosverona]

Hi all,

 

I've had a similar experience with Lexapro. Just here to encourage you and let you know recovery is happening for you all whether you feel like it in the moment or not. The WD i've been through was a crazy hellish experience but almost all of my symptoms have gone away. I don't really notice most of them any more. It might be a little up tick in anxiety here and there but it is really nothing bothersome. For me it took 3-4 years approximately. Its a hard journey. It sucks that any of us have to walk this path. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But I KNOW you will heal. I had doubts during my journey too. Thoughts like "will I be this way forever". "What if this is as good as it gets". Those thoughts are rubbish. Stay healthy. Eat clean. Follow the numerous recommendations on this forum including supplementation, sauna, cold therapy, fasting, keto ect. (whatever works for you) and give it time.

 

Also remember. What you are going through is not you. These emotions, states, feelings ... they are chemical. We are not weak for experiencing this. We are strong as *@#*$ for surviving this. A friend of mine says "The strongest swords are forged in the hottest fires". Even though it doesn't feel like it, that is exactly what is happening to all of us.

 

Stay strong, find happiness where and when you can.

 

Much Love.

 

A. 

[NoMoreLexapro]

@Athosveronathank you for this wonderful contribution!

[Naomi007]

thank you so much for the inspiration

 

[labrat15]

Yeh its really nice to see that people get better thanks for the inspiration.

[Athosverona]

You will get better.

 

Just take it day by day. The frustrating thing is that recovery isn't linear and it's hard to assess recovery as it is such a slow process. 

 

Don't worry about getting stuck in any one state. It always passes. 

 

xx

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, Athosverona said:

The frustrating thing is that recovery isn't linear and it's hard to assess recovery as it is such a slow process. 

 

We tend to compare how we are currently feeling with how we want to feel, ie the best we have felt in the past.  It is better to compare how we are currently feeling with how we felt at our worst.

[Altostrata]

@NoMoreLexapro How are you doing?

[NoMoreLexapro]

Basically fully healed!:) Thanks so much for messaging and checking in!

[Carmie]

3 hours ago, NoMoreLexapro said:

Basically fully healed!:) Thanks so much for messaging and checking in!

What great news, I’m so happy for you🎉🎉

[StarShopping87]

15 hours ago, NoMoreLexapro said:

Basically fully healed!:) Thanks so much for messaging and checking in!

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 yay this is awesome!! Congrats!! 

[Ariel]

@NoMoreLexapro

 

19 hours ago, NoMoreLexapro said:

Basically fully healed!:) Thanks so much for messaging and checking in!

 

Wow, amazing news -- CONGRATULATIONS!!

 

Would love to hear more if/when you feel like sharing. 

 

In the meantime, enjoy <3