Veluwe: Should I reinstate?

[Veluwe]

Hi everyone,

I'm 9 months off of antidepressants and still experiencing withdrawal syndrome. Would it be too late to reinstate a small dose to lessen the symptoms? It feels like it takes forever to get back to my normal self... What an awful time.

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, Veluwe.

 

I have a few questions.

 

1. What antidepressants were you on and at what dose?

 

2.  Did you go off them cold turkey or did you taper?  If you tapered, how fast?

 

3.  What are your symptoms?

 

Yes, it can feel like forever to get back to your normal self.  You will heal, but unfortunately there is no way to predict how long it will take.

 

So that you have a better idea of what you're experiencing, here is some information on withdrawal and the healing process.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

This explains the healing process really well:

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

Reinstatement after 9 months is risky.  Reinstatement works most predictably within 3 months after your last dose.  It might help or it might make matters worse and destabilize you further.  Please read:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms. -- at least the first page of the topic

 

If, after reading the links and answering my questions, you still want to consider reinstatement, let us know and we can suggest a dosage.  Please do not reinstate without letting us suggest a dosage.  

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can answer my questions, ask tour own questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

[Veluwe]

Hi Gridley,

Thank you for you're comprehensive reaction. I will take a look at the information you posted.

 

A week or so ago, I tried to make an introduction topic but it's waiting for approval. Or the post went to the digital nirvana... Anyway I have the original introduction still on my phone:

 

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Hi everyone!

 

First of all I'm very thankful this website exists. After reading a few threads I decided to create an account and post my story.

Since 2003 I have used a variety of antidepressants and antipsychotics. They were prescribed for OCD in conjunction with cognitive behavioural therapy.

I switched a few times because the prescribed antidepressants didn't have any effect within 3 months.

From 2009, I started with 60mg Seroxat (paroxetine) and 300mg Seroquel (quetiapine) a day. After a few years (around 2015 I guess) I slowly decreased the doses to around 40mg Seroxat and 150mg Seroquel.

My reasons to do so were the multiple side effects I had from these pills. To name a few: short attention span, emotional numbing, physical tiredness and the feeling of dissociation after too much mental straining.

Around this time I restarted with cognitive behavioural therapy and luckily got rid off OCD.

In the summer of 2018 I finished the tapering of seroquel with little 25 mg pills. Around that time the dose of seroxat had decreased to 30mg.

Because I haven't kept record of withdrawal symptoms it's difficult to say when certain symptoms came into existence or when they increased or decreased.

Halfway in 2019 I continued to wean off the rest of the seroxat. In two months I tapered from 20 to 0 mg. First month from 20 to 10mg by a scheme of taking two days 20 mg, then 10 mg, repeat this a few times... Then 10-20-10-20 etc. And the last days 10-10-20-10-10-20. The last month I tapered with the seroxat fluid suspension to 0.

A few days later I began noticing flu-like symptoms combined with a 'different vision' of reality. I asked myself: was this the real life I'm now coming back to after 16 years of using medications?

A few months later, in November, I got increased feelings of depression. Dissociation or depersonalition/derealization became much worse. Got crying spells and anxiety attacks. Brain fogging and sometimes muscle spasms. Occasionally nightmares.

Now we're almost in May and I'm 9 months off. Anxiety somewhat lessened but the DP/DR seems to have increased. Feelings of not being in reality and not being connected with myself and my sensory input tear me up.

This is horrific. But I don't want to go back to antidepressants. I hated the side effects of them. I want to live real life.

Since a few months I'm seeing a psychiatrist again. She ponders whether these symptoms are antidepressant withdrawal syndrome or are these complaints coming back from before I started AD's.

I'm almost certain that the latter is not the case. ( OCD didn't come back because I had successfully completed CBT.) Dissociation and depression are things I can't remember from experiencing before I took antidepressants.

My psychiatrist told me these symptoms are probably not withdrawal symptoms from antidepressants. She suggested a test of taking a one-time small dose of seroxat to test whether the symptoms may decrease and thus being withdrawal syndrome. Something of which I'm very hesitant about. Reading multiple stories of people still struggling with withdrawal symptoms after more than a year makes me think. What gives the idea in the psychiatric world that withdrawal syndrome should only last a few months? Apart from personal stories, aren't there any scientific sources mentioning people can suffer much longer from withdrawal syndrome?

I hope the symptoms decrease and that I will come back to my normal self again. Those 9 months off are taking it's toll on me.

 

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[Gridley]

2 hours ago, Veluwe said:

My psychiatrist told me these symptoms are probably not withdrawal symptoms from antidepressants. She suggested a test of taking a one-time small dose of seroxat to test whether the symptoms may decrease and thus being withdrawal syndrome. Something of which I'm very hesitant about.

 

Psychiatrists don't believe in the existence of withdrawal and always say it's "the return of the underlying condition."  

 

Taking a one-time dose of Seroxat won't accomplish anything and could destabilize you further.  You are right to be hesitant.

 

Sorry your Introduction got lost, but it's here now.

 

2 hours ago, Veluwe said:

Halfway in 2019 I continued to wean off the rest of the seroxat. In two months I tapered from 20 to 0 mg. First month from 20 to 10mg by a scheme of taking two days 20 mg, then 10 mg, repeat this a few times... Then 10-20-10-20 etc. And the last days 10-10-20-10-10-20. The last month I tapered with the seroxat fluid suspension to 0.

A few days later I began noticing flu-like symptoms combined with a 'different vision' of reality. I asked myself: was this the real life I'm now coming back to after 16 years of using medications?

A few months later, in November, I got increased feelings of depression. Dissociation or depersonalition/derealization became much worse. Got crying spells and anxiety attacks. Brain fogging and sometimes muscle spasms. Occasionally nightmares.

 

 

You tapered very fast resulting in the withdrawal symptoms you're now experiencing.  Your symptoms are typical of withdrawal.  Please see the links I provided earlier on withdrawal.

 

Please keep us updated on how you're doing.  If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask them here in your Introduction topic.

[Veluwe]

On 4/29/2020 at 5:44 PM, Gridley said:

 

Psychiatrists don't believe in the existence of withdrawal and always say it's "the return of the underlying condition." 

Well the thing is, 2 years or so ago, my previous psychiatrist warned me about going of seroxat to fast. He said it could take a year or more to taper these things. I remember it very clearly he mentioned things like 'brain zaps'.

 

Because my therapy there was completed, my psy medication care was placed back to the general practitioner. They didn't know anything about the hell this drug causes. So went from 20mg to 0 in 2 months. Much too fast.

 

I regret that I didn't mark the words of my previous psychiatrist; thinking everything will be ok and the general practitioner knows what he/she is doing.  I really regret it...

 

Anyway: Thanks for the information, Gridley. No problem about the lost intro! I backed it up luckily.