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Ryguy

Family and aggression

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Ryguy

Has anyone who was put on these early in life said anything absolutely horrible to parents or loved ones while going through withdrawal rage , like unforgivably terrible things out of resentment and fury....i have, its totally ruined my relationship with my parents, not sure i can mend it , so much resentment for putting me on these while my brain wasnt developed yet

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Goosie

Yes.    I feel better now, but lots of relationships are over.    However, I think it is for the best.  

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Brooke

I was put on at a young age, and my mother and I have had a lot of tough conversations since I got off the drugs. 

 

My advice: First, take responsibility for your role in this. You may have a lot of resentment, and that's understandable, but you're in charge of how you move forward. Obviously we don't know your life or your experience, but you have three choices: work to repair the relationship, do nothing, or consciously sever the relationship. Getting off the drugs is only the first step. Reconciling all the choices made by you and for you is the next step. In my opinion, that's harder work than withdrawal. 

 

Second, put yourself in your parent's shoes. No matter what your view on the situation was, I guarantee theirs was different. There was a reason why they put you on these drugs. It may not make sense to you. It may have been the wrong decision. It may not have been made out of ignorance or neglect, but out of pity or shame or pressure. Maybe they were hurting and didn't know what else to do. Maybe they thought they were helping. But there was a reason, and not only do you need to find out what that was, you need to understand that they made that choice viewed through the lens of their experience. Your parents are fully formed humans who existed long before you. They have worldviews and traumas of their own. Go learn about their life. It will help you form compassion for why they do what they do.  

 

I know that this is probably the last thing you want to do. But if you want to heal the relationships, you have to deal with this **** and accept your role. There is no way around it and no scenario in which you do not bear some responsibility. Is it hard? Yes. Is it unfair? Yes. Is it complicated? Yes. But nothing worth doing is ever easy, fair, or uncomplicated. 


It's up to you. 

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