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fj929: my hell

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Karma

Hi Fj,I usually give an up-dose about 7 full days and then make a decision based on whether I've experienced any relief at all. I believe you asked in a previous post how long it took me to get relief when I up-dosed Effexor. It was actually gradual relief over a period of about 6 weeks. I up-dosed 6.25 mg, held for about 2 weeks, then I didn't have significant relief from the anxiety and a few other symptoms so I up-dosed another 6.25 mg and waited another 2 weeks. I had some relief, but still needed more relief so then I up-dosed another 6.25 mg and it seemed like I finally got significant relief.It took more time for me to stabilize, but after I up-dosed 18.75 mg I got a point where I could function pretty normally. Now, keep in mind that dosing for Effexor is significantly different than Paxil dosing ... and your mileage may vary.Karma

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xDebbiejo

Hi FjI had to up-dose to 12 mg of Paxil liquid to feel stable! I think it took a while as I tried smaller doses first and was having to wait to see if those smaller doses worked.I am stable now and am planning my taperDebbie x

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Altostrata

Fj, I merged your topics -- only one to a customer in the Intro forum.Please add your updates to this topic, then you won't have to repeat your situation.Also, please put your withdrawal history in your signature. Instructions: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/page__gopid__23291#entry23291

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fj929

My reintstatement of paxil failed badly. I started getting severe sides from it. Severe confusion and supper slow thinking. I had to get off.

I am now Ssri free. I hope I don't suffer for an extended period of time.

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xDebbiejo

Hi FjSorry to hear the reinstatement of paxel didnt work, how much were you taking when you stopped ?What OTHER symtoms were you experiencing ?Did you not feel relief from some of the symptoms you were experiencing when you first stopped Paxil ?I am thinking if you did get some kind of relief then it would be better to stay on a low dose, as those symtoms will be back with a vengeance.I'm sure alto will be able to advise you shortly, please consider the advice.Be safeDebbie x

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Altostrata

I'm sorry, Fj. Hang in there, we're here for you.

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haley

Oh, sounds very familiar. I am going through major depression, anxiety, insomnia, brain fog, dizziness, etc. I did not however gradually taper. I do hope you get through it, just keep trying. And as for myself, I am in the process of trying too find support. As my family thinksbim overreacting. So I just basically moved too here. Hopefully time will heal all this.

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fj929

 

 

Hi FjSorry to hear the reinstatement of paxel didnt work, how much were you taking when you stopped ?What OTHER symtoms were you experiencing ?Did you not feel relief from some of the symptoms you were experiencing when you first stopped Paxil ?I am thinking if you did get some kind of relief then it would be better to stay on a low dose, as those symtoms will be back with a vengeance.I'm sure alto will be able to advise you shortly, please consider the advice.Be safeDebbie x
I was having a severe reaction to Paxil at both 2.5mg and 5mg. I was suffering from severe confusion where I didn't even know where I was or how I got there. It made me extremely lethargic, weak and nauseas after taking it. It seemed to help slightly with my insomnia and the Akasthia went away after a week on it but I was in worse shape on the meds than I was the 4 weeks I was clean.

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Altostrata

How about trying 1mg of Paxil? That might make the akathisia etc. go away without the other side effects.

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xDebbiejo

Hi FjAre you taking any Paxil now?Maybe you should try 1m like alto suggested and give yourself time to stabilise on this dose, it might take a while.Wishing you reliefDebbie x

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fj929

 

 

Hi FjAre you taking any Paxil now?Maybe you should try 1m like alto suggested and give yourself time to stabilise on this dose, it might take a while.Wishing you reliefDebbie x
I had too severe a reaction to it. The Akasthia has not come back as of yet. No depression or Anxiety yet either. Insomnia and Brain fog, confusion, memory loss rae my worst symptoms at the moment. I am 25days off and I am completley unable to function at this point.Hoping for better days soon.

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xDebbiejo

 

 

I had too severe a reaction to it. The Akasthia has not come back as of yet. No depression or Anxiety yet either. Insomnia and Brain fog, confusion, memory loss rae my worst symptoms at the moment. I am 25days off and I am completley unable to function at this point.Hoping for better days soon.
If some of you're symptoms are not so bad, maybe you're brain fog etc would also go away if you held on a small dose for a while longer.I've been reading through your posts Fj and was wondering how you know you had a bad reaction to Paxil ? As the symtoms sound like WD.Please keep in touch to let us know how you areWishing you reliefDebbie x

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fj929

 

 




I had too severe a reaction to it. The Akasthia has not come back as of yet. No depression or Anxiety yet either. Insomnia and Brain fog, confusion, memory loss rae my worst symptoms at the moment. I am 25days off and I am completley unable to function at this point.
Hoping for better days soon.


If some of you're symptoms are not so bad, maybe you're brain fog etc would also go away if you held on a small dose for a while longer.

I've been reading through your posts hawk and was wondering how you know you had a bad reaction to Paxil ? As the symtoms sound like WD.

Please keep in touch to let us know how you are

Wishing you relief

Debbie x



Debbie I had severe confusion and disorientation after taking paxil along with very slowed thinking. I had times where people had to drive me around becuase I was not capable. In withdrawal I had bad brain fog but I never had the severe confusion that began after taking pax.

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xDebbiejo

Fj,It does sound like the 5-HTP has messed up your nervous system.What meds are you taking at present, if any?Has your brain fog lessened at all?Hopefully Alto will be along soon to advise you.I do hope you find relief soonDebbie x

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fj929

 

 

Fj,It does sound like the 5-HTP has messed up your nervous system.What meds are you taking at present, if any?Has your brain fog lessened at all?Hopefully Alto will be along soon to advise you.I do hope you find relief soonDebbie x
I no longer believe it was 5htp that messed me up. I believe it was the fact that I hit poop out on my paxil. It started giving me so many bad sides I eventually had to drop it. When withdrawal was so bad and I tried going back on it got extremely bad and now I am left with these debilitating issues. I hope I am not damaged for life.

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Altostrata

Fj, how have your symptoms changed in the last 2 weeks?

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fj929

Update I am now over 3months off and still doing horribly.

Again my main symptoms are cognitive along with this general sick feeling.

 

I have horrible memory

moments of confusion

no ability to concentrate

stoned feeling.

Insomnia

overall sick feeling (very hard to explain)

dizziness

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xDebbiejo

I am so sorry you are still feeling that way Hawk.

 

I really wish I could do something to help, maybe Alto may have some suggestions

 

Wishing you relief

 

Debbie x

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Altostrata

I wish I had a magic wand....all I can do is point to our suggestions for managing symptoms in the Symptoms and Self-Care forum.

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fj929

Thanks Debbie and Alto. The magic wand is hopefully time. Just please don't let it be much longer I need to keep my job.

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fj929

9months off now.

 

I was doing better but things in the last 2 weeks have gotten much worse. Very sick with akathisia like symptoms, confusion, disorientation major brain fog. I have suffered immensely.

 

Not a great update.

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Barbarannamated

Fj,I'm sorry to hear that. I had a similar update today and I sure empathize now with how awful the waves crash after a good window.I hope you're feeling better soon.B

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fj929

I am 9months out and suffering horribly. Anxiety and depression are in check but it's the severe internal sickness and the debilitating cog fog, disorientation and confusion that I am suffering from. Is anyone aware of anyone who has gone back on drugs and found relief from these symptoms by RI a different drug? I don't like my chances. My cognitive is far far to bad to believe it will ever heal %100. All the stories i have followed on this site and others show that folks who are this bad get better but never back to baseline and it takes years and years. I have 2 small kids I just cannot hang on like for another year nevermind more.

 

Long Term sufferers never go back. Is it possible that RI an SSRI will heal some of this horrific damage????

 

Please Help

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spectio

Hey, Fj, I know this is awful. Been there, done that. Are you able to do other supportive things to help your recovery? Can you exercise routinely? Are you eating better. I really believe these things will help your recovery! How about your general health? Have you had a general checkup lately? Is it possible there are other health issues to confront?Yes, I know well about the brain issues you are talking about. At almost 20 months out I'm very forgetful, tend toward confusion, and my nervous system is ALWAYS on edge. I still can't deal with stress. I think that in itself is responsible for the continuation of my symptoms. And HOW pray tell do you avoid any stress when anything that requires a thinking brain causes stress. I don't have the answers. I wish I did.All I can say, and it's a day to day battle for me too is that adding these chemicals back into an already suffering brain is like pouring some household cleaning product on a struggling houseplant. I can't visualize in my compromised brain how that would help. I decided to come off Remeron because I was so sick with nausea, headaches and HORRIBLE brain fog, I knew I had to do SOMETHING or I would be trapped on the hamster wheel of more and more drugs. Then what? Alzheimer's? Huntingtons? Who knows what will happen to those of us in later life from the effects of these drugs?Hawk, the choice is yours. I guess you could try reinstating and see how you react. I don't know. I've wondered about reinstating but then I would feel so defeated having come this far and then going back. I never did that good while on the drugs so its not a good choice for me! And then the b_stards would win. Can't take that!Wait for some encouragement from the team here. Hopefully they'll have more suggestions for you. I really do feel for you! Please feel free to talk anytime!!

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fj929

I can't reinstate my original drug I tried that and got horrifically sick. Prozac didn't work either just gave me severe depression and confusion. It would have to be a 3rd drug. I can't live like this anymore. I have no read of anyone ever having introducing a 3rd drug and it helping them with physical\cognitive wd issues. Especially this far out. Is there anyone out there??

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Meimeiquest

Have you looked at beyondmeds.com? I guess Gia/Monica is sort of the poster child for how bad this can be. She is on this list, hopefully she'll see your post. I am too early on to know how hard it is for you, but I know too well what "just not feeling well" means...and how scary it is as a parent. I just haven't known of anyone who improved by adding new meds.

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Jemima

 

 


I am 9 months out and suffering horribly. Anxiety and depression are in check but it's the severe internal sickness and the debilitating cog fog, disorientation and confusion that I am suffering from. Is anyone aware of anyone who has gone back on drugs and found relief from these symptoms by RI a different drug? I don't like my chances. My cognitive is far far to bad to believe it will ever heal %100. All the stories i have followed on this site and others show that folks who are this bad get better but never back to baseline and it takes years and years. I have 2 small kids I just cannot hang on like for another year nevermind more.

Long Term sufferers never go back. Is it possible that RI an SSRI will heal some of this horrific damage????

Please Help

I don't know why or where you've gotten the idea that people who've suffered from severe cognitive problems in withdrawal don't get back to normal. They can and do. I think your current discomfort is affecting your judgment. Many of us have panicked at some point in fear that we would never come out of withdrawal, but we do. Not as quickly as we'd like, but it does happen.

Considering all the ups and downs and the on and off history of your drug use, the last thing I'd recommend is more drugs, especially an SSRI. Impatiently trying increased and decreased dosages of Paxil and Prozac is what brought on the pain that you're feeling now. Doing more of the same is going to make things worse.

There is no magic bullet or pill. Please browse the 'Symptoms and self care' discussion for some ideas on non-drug ways to feel better and do read GiaK's blog, Beyond Meds. She has been through a lot worse than any of us and has used her experience to help others. There is nothing at all wrong with her cognitive capabilities.

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fj929

 

 


I am 9 months out and suffering horribly. Anxiety and depression are in check but it's the severe internal sickness and the debilitating cog fog, disorientation and confusion that I am suffering from. Is anyone aware of anyone who has gone back on drugs and found relief from these symptoms by RI a different drug? I don't like my chances. My cognitive is far far to bad to believe it will ever heal %100. All the stories i have followed on this site and others show that folks who are this bad get better but never back to baseline and it takes years and years. I have 2 small kids I just cannot hang on like for another year nevermind more.

Long Term sufferers never go back. Is it possible that RI an SSRI will heal some of this horrific damage????

Please Help


I don't know why or where you've gotten the idea that people who've suffered from severe cognitive problems in withdrawal don't get back to normal. They can and do. I think your current discomfort is affecting your judgment. Many of us have panicked at some point in fear that we would never come out of withdrawal, but we do. Not as quickly as we'd like, but it does happen.

Considering all the ups and downs and the on and off history of your drug use, the last thing I'd recommend is more drugs, especially an SSRI. Impatiently trying increased and decreased dosages of Paxil and Prozac is what brought on the pain that you're feeling now. Doing more of the same is going to make things worse.

There is no magic bullet or pill. Please browse the 'Symptoms and self care' discussion for some ideas on non-drug ways to feel better and do read GiaK's blog, Beyond Meds. She has been through a lot worse than any of us and has used her experience to help others. There is nothing at all wrong with her cognitive capabilities.

Thanks everyone. As for the cognitive stuff I know people improve but for those who were severly disorented and had severe memory loss I have not seen many recoveries. The posts i have read years out still describe having cognitive issues with the exception of a few folks. If you have people on this site who had very severe cognitive issues and recovered %100 please please forward my way.

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fj929

This is my nick on the other site. I figured it best to change it on this one as well. I was hawk99 previously

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fj929

Almost 6 years after this nightmare began and here I am suffering immensely today. I suffer from sever cognitive issues memory loss, confusion disorientation, dizziness, fatigue, extreme sensitivity to supplements and everything else, balance issues, facial twitching and this violent sick feeling that I cannot explain.  I still work and I don't know how I have managed. For me things got much worse after trying Cerebrolysin to deal with the WD but it was severe before then as well. I pray for relief but none has come. I do get windows where I feel slightly better and the suffering is not as intense but those don't last long. 

 

After 6 years I have lost all hope of healing and  I am just happy that I survived another year. I'm not posting this to scare anyone but some of us really got the short end of the stick in this whole thing, it's so unfair and I think it is important to tell my story. Dr Shipko once told me that he warns all his patients that have been on these meds over 5years that they risk becomming disabled if they decide to get off the drug. I wish someone had told me that. 

 

If you are a long time user and are doing well in life you need to really consider whether you really want to get off these drugs. I wish I never had.

 

 

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Shep
On 5/22/2012 at 8:15 AM, fj929 said:

I can't sleep at all without prescription sleep meds no matter what I do.

 

 

Hi, fj929.

 

You mentioned taking "prescription sleep meds" when you first came to the site in 2012, but you never mentioned what you were taking or if you came off them, and it's not in your signature.

 

Sleep meds such as benzodiazepines and z-drugs (like Ambien, Lunesta, etc) can all carry a similar withdrawal as antidepressants.

 

Please update your signature to reflect these drugs and the dates you took them. 

 

Are you still taking prescription sleep meds? If you came off them, how and when did you taper? This could all play a role in how you are feeling today. Some people only need them occasionally (you mention Dr. Shipko, who has written about the use of benzos to come off ADs on the Mad in America website). 

 

Here's a direct link to your signature so you can update it:

 

Account - settings - signature

 

You mention having sensitivities to supplements.  Please let us know if you're using any supplements now and what your experiences have been. I found that I need to start with absurdly low doses because everything that is supposed to be calming causes a paradoxical reaction in me. But if I stick to really small amounts, I'm able to tolerate a few and find them helpful. But it really is dose-dependent. 

 

I've also found profound relief by exploring the non-drug coping sections. Once I read articles and scientific studies that showed how music therapy and mindfulness could actually change the brain, I pursued them to see if even after 30 years of antipsychotic drug use - drugs that have shown structural as well as functional brain damage - could help. And I've found both of these non-drug coping skills to not only help, but are now a key part of my lifestyle. I wouldn't have survived acute withdrawal without them. 

 

I would encourage you to add some of these non-drug coping strategies in, if you aren't already doing so.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

12 hours ago, fj929 said:

 I still work and I don't know how I have managed.

 

It's really amazing you are able to work through all of this. I also work and find working to sometimes be very difficult, but overall to be helpful. 

 

I think a large part of protracted withdrawal symptoms also involve a great degree of Battle Fatigue. Going to work every day sleep deprived, in pain, and dealing with cognitive problems leads to a sense of exhaustion and a sense of isolation, due to this illness not being recognized by the medical community or society in general. All of this takes its toll over time and can lead to despair. 

 

Have you seen any improvements with any of your symptoms? 

 

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Altostrata

fj, I am so sorry you are still struggling with withdrawal syndrome. 

 

Has anything changed or gotten better? What is your sleep pattern?

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fj929
On 3/10/2018 at 6:55 AM, Shep said:

 

Hi, fj929.

 

You mentioned taking "prescription sleep meds" when you first came to the site in 2012, but you never mentioned what you were taking or if you came off them, and it's not in your signature.

 

Sleep meds such as benzodiazepines and z-drugs (like Ambien, Lunesta, etc) can all carry a similar withdrawal as antidepressants.

 

Please update your signature to reflect these drugs and the dates you took them. 

 

Are you still taking prescription sleep meds? If you came off them, how and when did you taper? This could all play a role in how you are feeling today. Some people only need them occasionally (you mention Dr. Shipko, who has written about the use of benzos to come off ADs on the Mad in America website). 

 

Here's a direct link to your signature so you can update it:

 

Account - settings - signature

 

You mention having sensitivities to supplements.  Please let us know if you're using any supplements now and what your experiences have been. I found that I need to start with absurdly low doses because everything that is supposed to be calming causes a paradoxical reaction in me. But if I stick to really small amounts, I'm able to tolerate a few and find them helpful. But it really is dose-dependent. 

 

I've also found profound relief by exploring the non-drug coping sections. Once I read articles and scientific studies that showed how music therapy and mindfulness could actually change the brain, I pursued them to see if even after 30 years of antipsychotic drug use - drugs that have shown structural as well as functional brain damage - could help. And I've found both of these non-drug coping skills to not only help, but are now a key part of my lifestyle. I wouldn't have survived acute withdrawal without them. 

 

I would encourage you to add some of these non-drug coping strategies in, if you aren't already doing so.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

 

It's really amazing you are able to work through all of this. I also work and find working to sometimes be very difficult, but overall to be helpful. 

 

I think a large part of protracted withdrawal symptoms also involve a great degree of Battle Fatigue. Going to work every day sleep deprived, in pain, and dealing with cognitive problems leads to a sense of exhaustion and a sense of isolation, due to this illness not being recognized by the medical community or society in general. All of this takes its toll over time and can lead to despair. 

 

Have you seen any improvements with any of your symptoms? 

 

Hi Shep,

 

I did not include the sleep meds in my signature since I did not take them daily. I really tried to take them no more than 3 times a week max and most times once or twice. I started sleeping fine after 18months and haven't taken once since.  Also I only took the lowest doss of Ambien or Lunesta possible so it's not really a factor in my current symptoms which were present before I started taking the sleep meds.

 

Alto I have had not had any improvement in my symptoms since taking the Cerebrolysin 3 years ago. I took one dose at 1/3 of the lowest possible dose. Cerebrolysin is packed with amino acids and I think that did me in as I have never found another individual who had any issues with that drug. 

On 3/10/2018 at 6:55 AM, Shep said:

 

 

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Altostrata

Are you sensitive to light or sound? Do you work in an unusually dusty environment or with a lot of fumes?

 

Does the sick feeling happen at any particular time of day?

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fj929
3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Are you sensitive to light or sound? Do you work in an unusually dusty environment or with a lot of fumes?

 

Does the sick feeling happen at any particular time of day?

 

No sensitivity to Light or Sound. The sick feeling comes in waves and an last days or weeks. I call it the serotonin feeling reason being I first felt it when I first got on Paxil initially in 2003. Also felt it when I once took a large dose of 5htp and felt it again in WD.

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Altostrata

Are you sensitive to light or heat?

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