Jump to content
Shep

Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

Recommended Posts

JanCarol

This is beautiful to read.  Thank you for the link to the Toolkit, too (I haven't been around enough to see it before).

 

I'm glad you are finding that your "symptoms" can be trusted guides, and are approaching the Journey with curiosity and a sense of adventure.

 

The way the world is now - it's a matter of survival.

 

Bless your Path, and thank you for all of those you have inspired along the way.


"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Elyssa143

@Shep

Congratulations this is wonderful! Your such a warrior! I do like the way you look at symptoms im going to try that! I tried to find your tool kit but I couldnt i do get confused. Im almost 27 months out. 2 years total on ssri but not consecutive. Already had a protracted benzo withdrawl from 30days use. So of course i didnt think id be here again. Then they poly drugged me in the psych after this last time coming off 25 mg of zoloft after one year and ive been in hell ever since. Things are getting less intense.  But still so up and down and never symptom free. I have inner aka, dread/hopelessness i can physically feel both aka and the dread its an awful feeling, intrusive si and thoughts of life not being worth it, and fear of the future. Were you still having a hard time mentally around this time off? If these things went id be alot better. Any suggestions on what they are trying to teach me? The suicidal thoughts and feelings are so traumatizing to me. I appreciate all your hard work and hope your enjoying your healing now. Have a nice day


13 months on 25 mg of sertraline.

Fast taper in march 2018, reinstated 12.5mg

Cold turkey sertraline april 17,2018

Zyprexa 5mg april 17,2018

Zyprexa taper to lamictal May 4-13 (life threatening rash)

Back on zyprexa 5mg for 10days & tapered over 5 weeks.

21 months off sertraline 

19 months off zyprexa

22 months into withdrawl 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Vegalia

Hi @Shep

 

Sorry for my english. ^^

I read you and I cry, me who am almost inable to cry, my tears are block inside of me since so longtime. 

I cry of emotion, with your history and your beautiful words. 

 

Allegory of cave is really talking to me. 

 

What as success story, what à résilience. What an exemple ! 

 

I wonder me how you have made to go to work, amazing ! 

 

I Hope other improvement for you. You give me courage to go out of the cave. 

 

You are just an exceptional woman. 

 

I wish you the best ! 

With all my respect and my  gratitude. ❤️

 

Vega. 


 

2018 : 29 July xanax 0,125x 2 12 Aug 0,25 x 2  28 Aug clotiazépam 5x2 4 Oct Prazepam : 5-5-7,5 to 3,5-3,5-6,5 25 oct 10x3 21 nov 9,5 x3/ Now Taper 2% / 21days = 19 may 2019 7,32x3/ Now 5%/8 days =10 july 5,145 x3 /Now 2% / 21 days = 27 sept 4,75x3/ Now 1%/21 days = nov 4,70 x3 dec 4,65x3 jan 2020 4,60x3 feb 4,50x3 march 4,45x3 april 4,385x3 may 4,32x3 

 

2018 : 29 Aug Venlafaxine 75mg XR 19 sept 37,5mg 4 oct 75mg18 oct bridge sertraline 1 nov Sertraline 50mg slow taper until mi April 2019= 25mg

15 July Escitalopram 5mg 20 Ju 4mg 22 Ju 3,25mg 23 ju 2,5mg  25 ju 2,25mg 8 Aug 2 mg 16 Aug 1,75mg 20 Aug 1,50mg 12 sept 1,25mg 24 sept 1,38mg 28 sept 1,50mg 8 Jan 1, 60mg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
elbee

Beautiful update, @Shep! Yours is a story of courage and hope. Congratulations on reconnecting with yourself to reclaim your true inner compass. Thank you for sharing your gifts with me, and with the world 🙏❤️


My suggestions are not medical advice. They are my opinions based on my own experience, strength and hope.

You are in charge of your own medical / healing / recovery choices.

My success story |  My introduction thread

 

ZOLOFT FREE - COMPLETELY DRUG FREE 4/28/2019! - total time on 28+ years

BENZO FREE! 4/7/2018 - total time on 27+ years

REMERON FREE! 12/11/2016 - total time on 15 months

Caffeine & Nicotine Free 2014 / 2015 - smoked for 28 years

Alcohol Free 4/1/2014 - drank for 30 years

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wantrelief

Thank you for sharing your success story with us, Shep.  You have been such an inspiration to me and so many on this site.  I am in awe of all you have endured and your perspective of the challenges you have faced. You are an amazingly strong and courageous woman.  Thank you for all that you do here and for helping us get out of the cave.  🙏


-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium glycinate; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Altostrata

Shep, heartfelt congratulations. I am so proud of you! You are the best.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gridley

@Shep

 

A powerful and utterly uplifting account, beautifully written.  Thank you for this beacon.  You have helped so many, myself included.  You are my heroine.


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Sept.23, 2020 at 0.05mg

Taper is 99.75% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .33mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cocopuffz17

Amazing to hear! Glad you are doing great! Congrats!!! 


I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
apace41

So proud of you, Shep.  Nobody deserves this more than you do.

 

Best,

 

Andy


Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
brassmonkey

I knew there was a lot going on behind you, but I was never able to piece it all together. What an amazing story and you articulated it so well. To say I'm pleased, proud, excited etc. would be an understatement. Nothing beats what you've accomplished.

 

((((((((((((((((((MONKEY HUGS)))))))))))))))))


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
19 hours ago, JanCarol said:

Bless your Path, and thank you for all of those you have inspired along the way.

 

Thank you, JC. YOU inspired ME along my path. Thank you for all the wonderful videos you posted in my benzo thread to gave me strength along the way. The Urban Shamanism guides were a lifeline. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
19 hours ago, Elyssa143 said:

! I do like the way you look at symptoms im going to try that! I tried to find your tool kit but I couldnt i do get confused.

 

Good for you, Elyssa! Yes, our symptoms are here to guide us, no matter how difficult they are. It's much easier to accept and embrace then to fight against them. 

 

Just a tip - in order to find the tool kit, you must be logged into the forum because they are on my benzo thread (which is members' only). ;)

 

 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
19 hours ago, Vegalia said:

I Hope other improvement for you. You give me courage to go out of the cave. 

 

Thank you, Vegalia. Yes, you'll make it out of the cave, too. Don't give up. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
18 hours ago, elbee said:

Beautiful update, @Shep! Yours is a story of courage and hope. Congratulations on reconnecting with yourself to reclaim your true inner compass. Thank you for sharing your gifts with me, and with the world 🙏❤️

 

Thank you, elbee. I like the phrase "true inner compass."  

 

 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
17 hours ago, wantrelief said:

Thank you for sharing your success story with us, Shep.  You have been such an inspiration to me and so many on this site.  I am in awe of all you have endured and your perspective of the challenges you have faced. You are an amazingly strong and courageous woman.  Thank you for all that you do here and for helping us get out of the cave.  🙏

 

Thank you, wantreflief. You'll make it out, too. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
16 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Shep, heartfelt congratulations. I am so proud of you! You are the best.

 

Thank you, Alto. I learned from the best! Thank you for keeping this beautiful site going all these years. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
14 hours ago, Gridley said:

@Shep

 

A powerful and utterly uplifting account, beautifully written.  Thank you for this beacon.  You have helped so many, myself included.  You are my heroine.

 

Thank you, Gridley. It's good to go through this journey with others who've been there. I'm glad you also find it helpful. 

 

 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
12 hours ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

Amazing to hear! Glad you are doing great! Congrats!!! 

 

Thank you, Cocopuffz! 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
10 hours ago, apace41 said:

So proud of you, Shep.  Nobody deserves this more than you do.

 

Best,

 

Andy

 

Thanks, Andy. And thanks for all the DP/DR resources you gave me along the way. Very helpful and very much appreciated. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
6 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

I knew there was a lot going on behind you, but I was never able to piece it all together. What an amazing story and you articulated it so well. To say I'm pleased, proud, excited etc. would be an understatement. Nothing beats what you've accomplished.

 

((((((((((((((((((MONKEY HUGS)))))))))))))))))

 

I think it's an important to get that deeper story out there. It goes against the narrative that "some" people need psychiatry. 

 

Thanks for the Monkey Hugs! 

 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Frogie

Wow Shep!

 

 I knew you went through a lot, but couldn’t imagine all of this.

 

What an amazing story. I have read it a few times.

 

You truly are a miracle, how you came out of all of this this, healing.

 

You bring us all hope that we will come out if this a better person.

 

Thank you for sharing your amazing story. So we’ll written.
 

And thank you over and over for all your help.

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx


PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!!

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
xyz

Shep,

i am so happy for you! i so need it right now. i hope that i can get out of the cave too.

thank you for everything you do. you are the best.

 

how long did it take for most of your symptoms to subside? and how long were you on benzo? i feel that it is the worse drug out there.

 

xoxoxo


june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KenA

I am soooo glad I found your success story!! DP/DR is one of my strongest symptoms so finding this is a Godsend!! Thank you so much for sharing and inspiring those of us still recovering!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
xyz

Shep,

i read your thread from the beginning. you are so brave!

how can i even complain about my setback symptoms?

thank you for being here for all of us, again you are the best!

 

shep, is your tinnitus gone?

 

xoxoxo


june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Icip

Well done Shep, that’s amazing! You slowly ease back into normality, sometimes without realising. When did it hit you that you were feeling good?


Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Main symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PH1

You are an inspiration, Shep!   Thanks for sharing your story and for helping so many folks on the journey.

PH1


2010:  Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg.   Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg. 

2011:    Tapered Mirtazapine: 5 month successful taper.  Then tapered Lexapro:  4 month successful taper

May 2011 to August 2017:   No medications, full recovery

September 6, 2017:  started Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg  - due to severe sudden insomnia (I believe caused by statin use)

November 16, 2017:   started Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg

January 1, 2018:  Started taper of 15 mg Mirtazapine (Remeron)  -- went too fast the first few months, now micro-tapering

June 16, 2018:  Started taper of 10 mg Escitalopram (Lexapro) --  alternating micro-tapering with Mirtazapine

On 1/1/2019:  3.00 Mirtazapine,  5.37 Escitalopram;     On 7/1/2019:  1.90 Mirtazapine,  3.96  Escitalopram;   On 1/1/2020:  1.30 Mirtazapine,  3.35 Escitalopram;  On 7/1/2020:  0.40 Mirtazapine,  3.00  Escitalopram

Current (mgai):   0.19 mg  Mirtazapine;   2.77 mg  Escitalopram

Supplements:  Fish Oil, Curcumin, bio active B vitamins, zinc, magnesium glycinate, Vitamin D, Vitamin C

 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FarmGirlWorks
On 5/25/2020 at 7:48 AM, Shep said:

The un-patienting process: During recovery, I began reading a lot of anti-psychiatry literature. Dr. Phil Hickey’s article sums it up well - In Defense of Anti-Psychiatry. Anti-psychiatry gave me the language to understand and name the world around me. Dr. Thomas Szasz is a major influence in my understanding of this world. He understood the power structure of psychiatry better than anyone I've read so far. Dr. Bruce Cohen's Psychiatric Hegemony: A Marxist Theory of Mental Illness  helped me understand psychiatry's political structure. Psychiatry is about power and politics, not medicine. 

 

 

Thank you: this is gold.

Deepest of admiration for your grit and intelligence.

Congratulations.


  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017, quit coffee October 2017, quit cannabis 😩 July 2018
  • Magnesium powder, fish oil, estradiol, kombucha, gluten/dairy/histamine-lite
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini practice

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FindRest

Shep, I want to echo what everyone else is saying. You are such an inspiration.  Thank you for sharing your story and for all the help you selflessly give to so many. ❤️


1988-1996  Various AD’s, all classifications.  

1996-2019  Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg.

2019  Apr 11: Latuda 20mg added to Effexor.  Apr 22: L to 40mg.  May 14: L to 20mg.  May 27: L to 10 mg for 3 days then ct (dr’s orders). Continue Effexor 37.5.  Jun 10: Rexulti .5 mg added. Incr to 1mg.  Jun 15: Rex to .5mg.  Jul 1-24: taper Rex to .25mg over couple of weeks then off.  Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr’s orders)  Sep 9-19: Viibryd (low dose, not sure mg), CT (dr’s orders).  Sep 23-27: Trintellix (low dose). CT (dr’s orders).  Sep 28:  Prozac 10mg.  Oct 24:  Began rapid taper off Prozac (every other day for wk) began Pristiq 25mg for 10 days, then 50mg after that.  Dec 31-Jan 31, 2020:  Pristiq 25mg. 

2020  Feb 1: CT Pristiq due to serious side effects incl high BP w pre-existing heart condition.   Feb 1: Effexor XR (10 large beads from 37.5 capsule).  Feb 3: 14 L beads.  Feb 15: 14 L beads+2 med beads.  Feb 17: 15L + 5M beads (25mgbw or 7.56mgai).

Current: Mar 1, 2020: Effexor XR (15 large beads + 7 medium beads, 30mgbw or 9.072mgai)

 

Other current meds: Ambien 10mg nightly (2012), clonazepam .125mg nightly (May, 2019), omeprazole 20mg (alt w famotidine 20mg, since Oct 2019), Synthroid 125 mcg (1985), Premarin .625mg (2002), Miralax capful/day (2014), fluticasone nasal once/day (mid-2018), cetirizine 10mg nightly (late-2018) .  Supplements: D3 25mcg, probiotic

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep

@Frogie @xyz @KenA @Icip @PH1 @FarmGirlWorks @FindRest Thank you for all your kind words and well wishes. Truly appreciated.

 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep

 

19 hours ago, xyz said:

how long did it take for most of your symptoms to subside? and how long were you on benzo? i feel that it is the worse drug out there.

 

Most of my recovery happened very quickly in the past few weeks. The pandemic hit and everyone went into hiding. So I came out of the cave. I've never been inline with what's going on with everyone else on the planet, LOL.  

 

I was on benzos since I was a teenager, so 30 years. They were prescribed for akathisia caused by the so-called "anti-"depressant and problems with the neuroleptic. I don't think there's a better or worse drug out there. It's how and why it's used. If you're led to believe your mind is "diseased" and can be fixed with a drug, the damage is also done by the label and the gaslighting that will cause you to continue to take the drug even when your brain and body are collapsing under the weight.

 

And while these drugs are being used to adjust the individual to toxic life events and circumstances, we're not fixing the social and economic problems that are the root cause. This is where you can see the role of psychiatry as an agent of social control, not medicine.

 

But for very short term use for acute insomnia or to stop a seizure, benzos can be life saving drugs. 

 

Drugs are a tool and just like any tool, it depends on what you do with it and why. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
7 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Thank you: this is gold.

Deepest of admiration for your grit and intelligence.

Congratulations.

 

FarmGirlWorks, you picked out my favorite part of the story - the links in the "the un-patienting process" section. 

 

Due to Mad in America being a reformist site and not an abolitionist site, a lot of the articles there are limited, but if you're interested in a really good abolitionist writer, Dr. Phil Hickey has a number of articles that are really great. 

 

Mad in America - Dr. Phil Hickey articles

 

The psychiatric abolitionists give me a great deal of hope. 

 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
xyz
44 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

 

Most of my recovery happened very quickly in the past few weeks. The pandemic hit and everyone went into hiding. So I came out of the cave. I've never been inline with what's going on with everyone else on the planet, LOL.  

 

 

so is it only recently that you felt fully recovered?

how does it feel like?

did all the symptoms suddenly dropped?

 


june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
marie123

This is so wonderful for you. You made it out of the cave and are doing so well. This is just what I needed today, very moving. Marie.


10/13--10/14 Ambien. Started tapering 1/14  Jumped 10/14.  Done.                                                                              

3/14        7.5 Remeron  still taking this.                              

2/14         75 Trazodone   -    Tapered by dry cutting all the way down.

1/16        4 mg Trazodone  -  Jumped. Bad mistake. Got hit with late withdrawal 6 weeks later. Had to reinstate.

4/16        Reinstated 1 mg, updose to 2 mg Trazodone

2/19        .04 Trazodone. Walked off.  Done.

10/3/19  Started 7.5 Mirtazapine taper cut to .073 gram weight, pill weighs .076

4/5/20    New Mirtazapine Taper - Compound Liquid 7.35 mg April '20, 7.25 mg May, 7.05 mg June, 6.99 mg June, 6.78 mg July, 6.57 mg Aug, Sept 6.35 mg, Sept 6.23 mg.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Timberline

wow @Shep....you're my hero. what an inspiring journey.


2004 - 20mg celexa for panic attacks

2006 - tapered off in 2 weeks. Fine for 3 months then anxiety and panic returned even worse but no other symptoms.

2006 - back on meds, lexapro 10mg this time (terrible symptoms when I have to go back on meds!! Nausea, insomnia, panic, agitation)

2008 - tapered off in 2 weeks. Fine for 5 months then anxiety and panic returned. Was able to stay off for 1 year with help of a naturopath but struggled with anxiety still every day. No other typical withdrawal symptoms.

2009 - back on lexapro 10mg (terrible symptoms when I have to go back on meds!! Nausea, insomnia, panic, agitation)

2012 - tapered off in 2 weeks. Fine for 3 months then went through a hard time and was far away from home. Anxiety and vertigo symptoms.

2012 - back on lexapro 20mg, eventually landed back on 10mg where I feel best. (terrible symptoms when I have to go back on meds!! Nausea, insomnia, panic, agitation)

2018 - decided to do a "slow" taper this time. Didn't know what slow meant though! Cut 10mg pills in half and stayed at 5mg for 3 months, assuming this was taking it slow. At 3 month mark, crazy intrusive thoughts began. Felt very chemically induced and triggered by a really bad therapist, after trying therapy for the 1st time! 3 days of intrusive thoughts and complete doom and gloom feeling, I decided to go back up to 10mg, not thinking it would be very hard to stabilize. Took 4 weeks to stabilize. Thoughts got louder, insomnia, terrible nausea.

2020 - 10mg lexapro

June 2, 2020 - 9mg....June 15, 2020 - 8.6mg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shep
On 5/27/2020 at 7:53 AM, xyz said:

so is it only recently that you felt fully recovered?

how does it feel like?

did all the symptoms suddenly dropped?

 

Yes, my recovery accelerated toward the end and although I still have some mild to moderate symptoms during waves, they are also resolving. I'm going into the "rearview mirror" stage of recovery where the worst is behind me. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy